Original subtitles

Hi, I'm...

My-rie or Miri?

It's Miri.

People won't think she's still a risk.

People believe what they want.

They're from Mandy. She's very keen to reconnect.

Are you...visiting? Staying.

Airbnb? What?

Dom? You look so amazing.

Oh, shit.

This is all such a mess.

It's really hot down there.

This is the last time. Do you understand?

Could you just fuck off? Dom!

He's married.

You fucker.

I'm sorry. She's not been well.

Are you happy to start now?

Everyone deserves a second chance.

Even murderers.

It was a long time ago and I'm ready to move on.

PHONE RINGS

Ambulance Service.

Yes, I'm on the beach below the, um...

Oh, Christ. Calm down, sir. Tell me what's happened. Oh, God.

You have to send someone. Where exactly are you, sir?

RADIO CHATTER

When I look at what we've been up to

for the past few week, the rain and sad, grey skies,

it's wonderful to be back by the seaside again...

OK, Mandy.

How's your sleep? Patchy.

But you know...

Vitamin D? Yep.

How's your stress lately?

Well, it's the same. It's fine.

How do you unwind?

I wank, but then, I can't always get there.

Right.

Well, it's just that this is a little high,

so you really need to be careful.

You remember what happened last time. I know, yeah.

It's all cool.

It's evidence!

It's compost.

You need to keep a sample for the police.

Please fuck off, Caroline.

What's going on?

Faeces. Foxes.

Foxes' faeces.

Do foxes shit in boxes now?

Probably just kids. Oh, it's nothing to worry about.

Somebody took a shit,

then they put it in a box, then they queued up at the Post Office.

You can download your own postage labels now.

They could have parcelled it up at home.

Oh! Oh, that's totally fine, then.

Lovingly home-boxed faeces.

It's all under control. We've told the police.

Well, er, Tina's pretty hopeless, but, yeah,

technically, she is the police.

Somebody hates me enough to graffiti our house

and take a really big shit in a box.

Oh, no, no, no. Tina says it's probably more than one person

doing these things. Oh, great! So, everyone hates me.

Well, isn't that less sinister, somehow? No, it's not.

Do you know what? Oh, it's my first day at work and I'm already nervous.

Is that what you're wearing?

Yes, why?

Don't just look at me, help me. I don't understand clothes any more.

You look lovely.

You'll be wearing an apron, anyway.

SHE GROANS Bye.

Good luck!

Oh! er, swish swash. Sorry?

I saw you on the...on the swing.

Were you watching me?

Yeah. No, no! Not in a creepy way...

Right. ..like how you watch a pigeon. OK. Sorry I...

I've got to go, so...

Oh, hi. Morning. Billy.

Um...I have excrement on my hands.

Oh, don't we all, probably. if they tested us with machines?

Oh, fucking hell.

Er, is it...is it yours?

No. No!

Good. I'm just going to...

..wash my hand.

Hello?

HE SCREAMS Fucking Christmas!

Sorry. I didn't know... The door was...

Sorry, this just arrived so I...

SHE GASPS Faeces!

Napkins.

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

Of course. Sorry.

Napkins. Uh, look...

..I don't know if this is a good idea. Yes, it is. It is.

I really, really need this job and I'm going to work so hard.

Just give me... Just give it today, just one day.

You said that everyone deserved a second chance. I did say that.

Yes, you did. All right.

One day. But this HAS to go well. Oh, God, it will.

You can't shout "faeces" at customers. I...I do know that.

Just polite customer service and fish-and-chip efficiency.

Can you do that? Yep. Absolutely. 100...300%.

OK. Good.

How do you feel? I feel very, very, very relaxed and positive.

Me, too. Yes.

I could murder a coffee, though.

Shit, sorry. Oh, God, no, no, it's just a phrase.

It's weird cos, apart from that,

you're just like a normal person, really.

I am a normal person.

Yeah.

I spoke to Tina. She was eating an apple.

She said she'd refer it to the sergeant later.

I suppose we have to trust her.

This is not good. I know.

It's all getting dredged back up, I can feel it.

Oh, God, I don't want to go through this all again.

I meant the caterpillar.

What? A bastard caterpillar has been at my tomato plants.

Neither of them should be alive this time of year.

Oscar... Sodding global warming.

..I'm talking about the threats to our family.

That caterpillar is a threat.

It could destroy my entire vegetable patch.

You can buy bloody tomatoes from a shop.

Yeah, hot-house tomatoes flown in...

Oscar! ..wrapped in plastic...

Yes, smothered in plastic. Who cares?

I'm talking about our family.

By 2050, there will be more plastic in the ocean by weight than fish.

Can you stop worrying about the fucking planet for one second

and listen to me? What is more important than the planet? Me!

Fuck the fucking planet!

I used to be your planet!

The customer will come in through the... Door, yeah.

..door and, um, you'll say, "Hello, how are you?"

"I'm fine, thank you." No, I wasn't asking you.

Oh, no, no. I was being them. Oh, right. Yeah.

"Would you like to try the fish?"

Oh, well, I suppose I should, if I'm working here.

No, this is still in the, uh...hypothetical... Oh, right.

Sorry. No, no, I wasn't going to just eat that.

Raw fish makes people very ill.

But sushi's quite popular.

But when it is cooked, you can offer samples. Do you know what?

I think I can probably feel my way with some of this stuff... Yeah?

..cos I'm quite good with people. Oh, now's your chance. Hi.

Go on.

Hello, how are you? It's not cooked yet, so, goodbye.

Uh, it will be, though. Cooked.

Oh, yeah, I'm not eating. I just came to check the place out and...

..I am going to be heading to the bench on the high street at lunch,

hoping to meet a girl I used to know...

..used to be our special place.

Great. Well, have fun.

She won't come. Oh. I'm sure she will.

Yeah, I think she will. No.

I think she'll want to hear what I have to say.

What do you have to say? Oh...

..big things. Crikey. Well, I'd want to hear what it is.

She will be busy at lunch.

I doubt it. She doesn't have any friends.

That's not very nice. Yeah, but it's true. Is it true?

Yeah, but it doesn't mean she's not going to be busy. What do you think she'll be busy doing? Um...

..maybe meeting Janice. Who's Janice?

Yeah, who is Janice? I don't know.

So, can you just, like, see her... Yeah. ..in your head?

I can, actually. What else can you see?

Well, she'd be silly not to meet me. Well, then, she's silly. No, she's not.

She's trying to focus on her new job right now.

Anyway, you are married. Are you married? Yeah, but...

Fuck me. Yeah, and she feels very, very stupid for thinking

that you wouldn't be. Sorry, will...

..will my business thrive?

Well, maybe she would like to hear the full story.

No, she wants to move on with her new life.

With Janice! No! Well, if she doesn't come, then she will

always wonder what I had to say. You're not listening to her! Who is Janice?

I'll wait for her, anyway. You're wasting your time.

She's not going to meet you. She might! She won't. She will.

Oh, my God. Can you just get it into your big stupid married head

that this is not going to happen? goodbye.

OK.

I get it.

DOOR CLOSES

You said you were going to be polite to the customers.

I'm so sorry. I... That was a one-off. It won't happen again.

PHONE RINGS

Hello? Mr Matteson, I need to talk to Miri.

Who is this? It's Mandy...?

Ah.

Caroline! Listen, I've pulled a few strings.

I've managed to get her a job. No, she got one already.

Already? The new fish-and-chip place.

Oh, for fuck's sake. Yes, I know, we all miss the pie shop, Mandy.

Did she get my flowers? Uh...

..yes.

And?

Look, um...

..you hurt her very deeply, I...

..I don't think she's quite ready for you yet.

She'll get there.

Well, she may not.

DIAL TONE Oh.

Weirdo.

Oh, hi. Hello.

Hi. A few people did look in the window.

Ah. Yeah. Be great if they came in.

It'll take time. Yeah.

Someone will. 'Course.

We could put balloons outside. People love balloons. Um...

..I just think it's fish and chips in a seaside town.

It shouldn't need...too much, uh...

..but maybe.

Um, take your lunch break.

But I haven't really worked yet. Take an hour. Take two!

OK.

OK. I'll see you later.

LAUGHTER

PHONE BUZZES

Hello? Hi, Janice. It's Miri.

This is such a bad line.

I can't hear. Hello?

It's my first day at work and it's my lunch break

and I just wanted to talk to someone.

Oh, I'm guessing this is Richard.

I'm on my way.

Ten minutes. Boom.

Yeah, I had to pick up some tampons.

No, it's Miri, Miri, Miri. Get me a large vodka on ice.

I know it's lunchtime but... The one with, like, the hair.

My day has been pure jokes. Not funny ones.

Messed-up people sucking me...

Dried-fruit mix? Yeah. Sucking me dry.

Hello?

BEEPING Oh, God, hang on. No, no, hang on.

Look, if that's not Richard, then, um...

..oops. Oh, God. Hang on. No, it says it wants more money.

I've just given money in. I've just put 50p in.

I can't hear. Hello?

Mi..Miri. It's Miri. Aargh.

Oh, Miri!

You all right? Mmm.

Is that your prison walk?

For God's sake. What do you mean? Are you following me?

It's pretty sexy, actually. Is this sexy?

I can handle that. I mean, if I just...

..focus out your face, I can just look at your tits. Oh, my God.

Dom, what do you want?

Oh, I just want to talk about what happened the other day.

I'm sorry. What was I supposed to do?

Something a bit less twatty.

See, when I opened the door and I saw you...

..I just forgot about my life...

..and just for, like, a little second there...

..I felt like I was 18 again.

Sound stupid?

Not completely.

I never wanted to be tied down.

Well, you fucked that up, didn't you?

I know, I...

..I got married. And you've got kids.

Fucking twins.

It's like you see me, Miri B.

You, like, you make me feel free.

Oh, my God. What?

"You make me feel free, so let's go and do it in the Holiday Inn."

No, I'm just talking about what's happening between us,

this kind of...

..sexy energy, it's like, you know it.

Goodbye, Dom.

Holiday Inn does a, a great breakfast.

It's got free Wi-Fi.

Do you know what Wi-Fi is? Yep!

Goodbye, Dom.

Thank you so much for trusting me with this.

Yeah, well, they asked for you.

What? Mh-mm.

So it's Mrs Munther, Head Teacher of Cressfield School.

Cressfield? Yeah.

Do you know where that is? Uh, yeah, well, I went there.

Oh.

W-would the person you...

No, everyone went there, it's totally fine.

OK. Um...

..so this time, when you're talking to the customer...

It will be so much better, I promise.

..good. OK.

Thank you.

INTERCOM BEEPS

Food delivery.

DOOR BUZZES

Hello?

Oh, for God's sake.

What are you doing here?

I'm the Head Teacher.

What? Yeah. You're the Head Teacher?

You were suspended, like, three times.

You were awarded "Most Likely to get Fingered in Science".

Mrs, Mrs Munther, Mrs... SHE GASPS

..did you marry Mark Munther?

Well, things change.

He's very tidy, he's actually very... Oh, just fuck off.

Happily.

Miri, we need to sort this out.

Goodbye, Mandy.

It's locked.

Yeah? I was just checking and I'm happy that it is.

I just want to talk.

You didn't visit me or write to me once.

I know, sorry, I was having a hard time.

Oh, I was having a great time in prison, in my cell.

I know, OK? I was, I was 18.

Yeah! So was I! And then I was 19 and 20 and 21...

All right, well, listen to me, I'm here now, OK?

And I'm so fucking sorry.

Now, you, of all people, you know that life is short

and really, really hard, so let's not waste any more of it

not being friends, cos we were so, so good at it.

Oh, my God, you need me.

No, I don't. Yeah, you're lonely. No, I'm not.

Look at you, you're lonely and you're getting old.

No, I'm very, very happy.

Well, great, cos it's too late, so...

Who else have you got?

I need to get back to work.

What, to your job in a fish and chip shop? Oh, fuck off, Mandy.

You wanted to be a vet or Jules Oliver.

Yeah, well, you wanted to marry Keanu Reeves and live in Barcelona,

but you are a Head Teacher in Hythe,

married to Mark "fucking" Munther, so just move.

What you going to do, Miri? Are you going to kill me?

I hate you.

I'm sorry, I-I shouldn't have said... Yeah.

Do you know, if my job wasn't so important to me,

I would kick you so hard in the fanny for that.

Enjoy your food.

THUMP

The Bobacks moved away.

No-one knows where, but I thought you'd want to know.

Could have looked that up. You haven't got a fucking phone.

And it wasn't in science,

it was "Most Likely to Get Fingered" full stop!

Sorry.

There you go, mate.

Salt and vinegar there for you, if you want it.

It's busy. Yeah, cos of you.

What? People love a balloon.

Oh, so can I come back tomorrow?

Yeah, I think so.

Hello, how can I help you?

Hi, yes, can I please have some chips...?

Shit the bed!

Are you OK?

Uh, yes, sorry, I'm fine...

I'm fine.

Um, I'm just going to...

..just, see you.

See you tomorrow.

Shit!

Oh, Jesus.

Hey, hello, hello, hello! Billy, Billy from, uh, from next door.

Oh, yes, um...yeah, I know.

Oh, Christ!

Oh, God, what happened? You look like Carrie.

Oh, God, sorry, it's the blood. I can't... I know, I think it's,

I'm fine, it's, it's fine. Sh-sh-sh-shall I take you to hospital?

Uh, it's uh, it's shallow, I think.

OK, well, I-I got plasters in the door whatsit.

Just... Thank you... ..here.

Thank you, sorry to, um, interrupt your... No, come on,

I was just watching the sea. Oh, God, I was just watching the sea.

Can we just, just drive somewhere else, is that O...? Yes!

Yes, come on... Thank you, thank you. ..get in.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just up, up a bit higher.

Like this? Yeah.

Sorry, I had a few pints last night, so...

Go on, now.

Car's looking clean.

Oscar hoovered it.

Oh, great, bring him into...

..this.

Well, it was working earlier.

Love this spot.

It's got, uh...

..600 different types of plants and a wide variety of...

..different birds.

You can't see them now. No.

There's also...ice cream.

Do you like ice cream?

Yes. OK.

OK. Wait here, don't, don't go anywhere.

Right.

It's so weird seeing her again.

It's like it's her, but...

..but she's older.

Like her little face is still there.

We used to do everything together.

It's mad.

HE ZIPS UP

I can't do this.

What?

Oh, like, I won't...

..talk about her.

I have to make supper, I-I should never have come here.

Technically...

..nothing happened.

Maybe...

..like, next time, you could maybe, like, wear your hair down or...

..do you want to watch the sunset with me?

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

Hello! Got the...

There we are.

That's yours.

Ah, thank you.

Mmm. Actually really brings out your eyes.

Not the ice cream the, the, uh, the stains on your face, the red...

..with the blue.

It, actually, it looks really good on you.

Sorry, that's not very, um...

..romantic. Not that this is supposed to be...

I know, I know. ..but OK, but anyway, it's just the, uh,

this is the best in Kent.

Do you know, I haven't had one of these for, for years?

Christ, why?

Just a diet.

Like a really, really, a really long diet.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. Well, I tried a diet once.

Yeah, but I got confused.

Cos I had, had the milkshakes along with my...

..regular meals and I just ballooned out.

Really?

Yeah. Tiny little face, massive head.

Day can't be that bad, if it ends in ice cream.

Thank you...

..for making me feel normal.

Thank you.

# How sad How lovely

# How short How sweet

# To see the sunset

# At the end of the street... #

I can't believe I didn't realise.

What?

Well, the caterpillar.

Oh, God. It's harmless.

One of the good guys.

I'm sorry, I...

..I get fixated on things.

You are my planet.

Of course you are.

You and Miri.

Do you want to go for a walk?

Bit of perspective. I'd really love that.

Yeah? I'd love that, yeah. Yeah.

Wander...

..up to the cliff, there's this really cool spot, uh,

over by the sound mirrors. Do you now what they are?

No.

Do you know what? I think, actually, I need, I need to go home?

They're these pre-radar things, and they built them in the war

to hear the enemy coming.

Apparently, it's where some girl bludgeoned someone to death.

She lured her there,

just the two of them, on the cliff, at night and...

..smashed her head against the edge.

Urgh, it's like a horror film, isn't it?

It's not the version I heard.

I, there, there's a body floating in the water, face down.

Where exactly are you, sir?

Oh, no, no, no.

Sir? Oh, God, I think she's dead.

Um, there's two girls on the cliff.

I think they pushed her.

Sir, I need to know where you are.