Original subtitles

You are going to die.

I'm just trying to get us out of a rut, do something fun together.

Coffee would've been fine.

Well, they say new experiences are as good as a holiday.

Well, is this a holiday to you?

Because I'm dying here!

Kinda.

Hey, isn't that Bob's new girlfriend?

Where?

Hey!

Why are those guys not in tights?

You said everyone had to wear tights!

Sorry.

I'm gonna kill you.

Oh, class is starting.

There she is, with a guy.

Hey!

Hey!

What was that?

I don't know.

That's sexual assault. I could sue the pants off that guy.

Or you could just ask him to take his pants off.

-I'm sure he'd be obliged. -Shut up, Jane!

I'm being serious here. I feel violated!

Come on, didn't you like that one bit?

Are you serious?

You're not homophobic, are you?

No, but..

I respect the rights and privacy of other people's asses!

You talking to me?

You talking to me?

Then who the hell else you talking...? You talking to me?

Cut. Print.

That was so awesome, Bob!

Really?

You think we can cut an actor's show with all this stuff?

Yeah, totally! I think a couple of more scenes and we're done!

I got it.

We should do a gay scene!

What?

Come on, everybody knows to gain credibility,

you go gay or mentally dysfunctional.

Are you serious?

Forrest Gump, Rainman, Daniel Day Lewis in My Left Foot.

And Gay would be...

Robin Williams in Birdcage or Tom Hanks in Philadelphia.

-Forest Whitaker in The Crying Game. --She's right.

All were Academy Award winners!

We gotta go gay.

I've got a gay seduction scene.

Are you sure?

I think I see little clues.

A lot of my girlfriends notice that when we're out together,

he never notices any of them.

Yeah, so?

And my gay friends, who obviously have good gay-dar,

well, they suspect he's gay too.

Either that or they just want him to be gay.

Only one way to find out, right?

So, how are we going to do this?

I'm not going to suck your face dude.

Dude, I'm not gonna suck your face either.

Come on, guys. You gotta make it real.

-No way, Jane. -No way, Jane.

Alright.

Take it till just before the kiss.

-Work it out! -That sounds fair.

Alright. Roll cam.

And...

Action.

Where have you been, Steve?

I've been looking all around town for you.

I thought you were going to leave.

Well, when I found out you weren't my brother anymore,

I realized that it was more than a family bond.

Cut, cut, cut!

I can't do this!

What are you doing? It was going so well!

I just... I can't do this.

I've been biting my tongue to stop from laughing.

Come on, Jimmy. It's acting.

It'll be great for our showreel.

Yeah, I know. I just can't do it staring at your face!

Alright.

Why don't we practice with me reading opposite you?

So you don't feel so weird.

What, so I have to do a gay seduction scene opposite you?

Yeah.

You have a problem with that?

Yeah. It's the gay part.

Yeah, so you imagine me as some man,

I'll be your substitute gay lover.

Okey-dokey!

You gonna get that, Bob?

No, it's Jng Jng.

What?

-Jng Jng? -Yeah..

J-N-G.

No vowels. Jng Jng Sng.

It's just people getting creative with names again.

I really don't get it.

If you lost her as a child, how would you ever call out to her?

Jng Jng!

Jng Jng Sng!

Sng Jng Jng!

Actually, the name's just a start of it.

I don't understand anything she says.

What?

Bob!

Yeah?

Hey. I have an idea.

Let's text each other!

It's so much more romantic, and well..

It can be like our little love communication tool.

Text me.

So, you guys are texting all the time you're together.

Yeah, that's right.

And I try only take her to really noisy, crowded places...

...so I have an excuse that I can't hear her.

That's really strange dude.

Yeah.

But she's spicy.

Great basis for a relationship.

There you go.

Hey, she's coming over later.

Great!

Come on, lets do the scene.

Yeah, okay.

And...

Action.

Where have you been, Steve?

I've been looking all around town for you!

I thought you were going to leave.

Still rolling. Come, on!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. The "Steve" part got me.

Stay focused, okay?

Where have you been, Steve?

I've been looking all over town for you!

Just use my name for now.

Okay, okay, okay. Sorry.

Stay focused!

Where have you been, Jane?

I've been looking all around town for you!

When I found out that we weren't brothers any more...

...I realised that it was more than a family bond.

What do you mean?

I've always had this...

...reaching for you.

Made me guilty.

My thoughts about you,

my feelings about you...

Say it.

Say it now.

I want you, Jane.

I've wanted you since you walked in our door.

I die the days I stand next you, just inches away from you.

Knowing if I touch you, I might lose everything.

I want you too.

And cut.

Great take, dude.

I'm so glad I ran the cam!

-Yeah! That was, that was good! -Really?

Now, we just gotta get you saying "Steve" instead of "Jane".

Hey, Jane. Thanks so much for your help tonight!

No probs, it was fun.

Well, good night!

Good night!

I gotta hand it to you.

I think you can act.

Back there was pretty real.

Really?

Thanks.

Must be dangerous to date an actor, you never know whether it's real or fake.

Hey. Isn't that Jng Jng?

Yeah, that's her from ballet class.

There was something definitely going on between her and that guy.

Flirting isn't really cheating.

Right?

Right, but it could lead to something.

Right?

Bob!

Don't spoil the moment with spoken words.

Text me.

Hey, there they are again.

That's not a friend.

Nope, guess not.

I gotta tell Bob.

This could shatter him.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey, hey!

Relax! Calm down, it's harmless!

That was physical violation!

My ass is for my hands only!

Okay, that sounded a little wrong!

Shut up.

Where does he get off doing things like that?

Let it go, it's really nothing.

Women get it all the time.

That doesn't make it right.

True.

But he was kinda cute, no?

Jane, I am not gay, okay?

I am not gay.

Okay..

You know, homophobia is a sign of repressed homosexuality.

You are so frustrating!

Alright, I'll stop.

You did do that gay seduction scene really well though.

Only when I switched out the name "Steve".

So, calling my name helped you?

Calling a woman's name helped me.

Well, my heart skipped a beat.

Really?

Yeah.

You were good.

Just wondering what lingual might be up to on that cruise.

There must be a ton of guys, right?

Yeah.

A ton of guys who Viagra.

Come on dude, you know those cruises are full of retirees.

Yeah, okay but still...

If you saw her doing anything with another guy you'd tell me, right?

Yeah.

I guess. If I was sure but you know, it's not really anyone's business.

Unless they have all the facts.

Right.

Hey.

Speaking of cheating.

I cheated in my mind the other night.

What do you mean?

I was fantasizing about Jane.

I think I've become attracted to her.

I've started to notice her in a different way.

Are you deprived of sex at the moment?

No, that's not it.

Just after watching her...

...in that gay seduction scene we did the other day?

I started thinking about her in a sexual way.

I want you too.

Well, she was playing a guy maybe that's what turned you on.

No.

Seriously, I just wanna...

Don't tell me anymore, she's my friend!

She's your friend.

And it's going so well with you and Jng Jng.

I know. I'm just saying.

Hey, Jng Jng really cares about you.

Yeah, she's sweet and all.

Whatever you do, don't hurt her.

So, what do I do about Jane?

Hey, Bob, remember your rules. Don't forget the friendship zone.

Yeah, but rules are meant to be broken.

And some of the best relationships are born out of friendship!

You could also, lose an amazing friendship.

Or gain a perfect relationship.

I mean, we're so comfortable hanging out with each other.

What if we could also be lovers?

Hey..

Hey.

Hi!

It's great to see you!

Yeah! You too!

We just saw each other yesterday. Are you alright?

Of course.

I just missed you, that's all.

So, you broke things off with Jng Jng?

Not yet.

Why?

Moral reasons?

Moral reasons?

I see. Yeah!

It was a little weird.

I thought it was 'cause he had just broken up with Jng Jng?

He never hugs me that long or tight!

Or kisses me.

He kissed you? Bob kissed you?

Well, just on the cheek, but even that's weird.

So, you haven't told him about Jng Jng and the other guy, have you?

I haven't quite gotten to tell him yet.

-You chickened out. -No. It's complicated...

Fine, I'll tell him.

No, no, I'll tell him, it's my job.

Jng Jng.

Jng Jng..

I gotta have a word with you.

What does that mean? What is that?

Any how-ly? Yeah.

Anyhow.

I know about you.

We go to the same ballet class!

What's that? What's that mean?

Gay.

I am not gay. I am not...

What makes you think I am...?

Hey. Ballet happens to be a very heterosexual art form, okay?

There are plenty of heterosexual ballet dancers.

Very masculine art form.

What?

-What is that? -What, talking you?

Anyway...

I have photos of you...

...kissing another guy outside our ballet class, okay?

I was going to tell Bob.

You cannot do this!

-Don't tell Bob. -I said, I was going to tell Bob.

But I'm going to do a favour.

He's not in, I'm going to let you into the house.

Whatever you do, do not tell Bob I told you this.

Okay?

What's that?

Jimmy, you're right.

I have to do the right thing,

I'm gonna break up with Jng Jng.

What?

Why?

To be freed up for Jane.

I think that's what Jane was saying.

I don't think that's what she was saying. I mean...

You weren't there.. You did not look the way she looked at me.

It was pretty black and white.

She said I should break up for moral reasons.

Well, before you make any decisions,

I think you should go home and see Jng Jng.

I let her in earlier.

She's been waiting for you all day.

Perfect, I'll break up with her at home.

What is this?

Wait, don't say it.

Text it.

Oh, wow!

You cleaned the toilet bowl with baking soda and fresh lemons?

How did you know to do that?

Jimmy put you up to this, didn't he?

Jimmy set you up to this, didn't he?

It was Jimmy.

Come on, it was Jimmy, right?

Whatever you do, do not tell Bob I told you this. Okay?

It was Jimmy? Nobody knows me better than Jimmy.

Come on. Tell me, I'm gonna tickle you!

It was Jimmy!

-Okay, okay.. -It was Jimmy?

It's Jane. Jane.

-Jane? -Yeah.

Wow!

Baby, I'm going to be so good to you from now on.

Jane! Wow! She really knows me!

Bob!

-Hey! -Why you up so early?

Why you so happy?

I love a clean house!

-Jng Jng did a great job, didn't she? -Yeah, she did!

And you know why she did it?

-No, why? -Jane told her to do it!

How'd you know?

I pressed Jng Jng and she told me!

I see.

Yeah, Jane.

I can't work out why?

It's amazing how well she knows me, don't you think?

So you didn't break up with her then.

I mean, I could not, after this.

Good, 'cause she's a keeper.

I gotta call Jane!

I'm gonna cook for the both of you!

I'll go help you.

Editing the showreel, huh?

Cool!

I want you, Jane.

I wanted you since you walked in our door.

I die the days I stand next to you just inches away from you.

Knowing that if I touch you, I might lose everything.

I want you too.

I want you too.

Hey, Jimmy. Dinner's ready!

Coming!

Hey!

She asleep?

Yeah.

Dinner was good.

She's trying really hard.

I think I know why.

Why?

I tried to tell you before but didn't feel right.

What?

Jane and I saw her with another guy...

...kissing.

We're at the same ballet class.

You're taking ballet class?

Can we not talk about it? It's all Jane's fault.

Anyway, the point is that she was kissing another guy!

So we confronted Jng Jng, she's really remorseful,

and she wanted a chance to make it up to you.

I guess Jane suggested a lot of things, huh?

Yeah.

So,

Jane's really not interested in me?

Aren't you mad at Jng Jng?

I guess I don't care enough about her to be...

Hey, thanks so much for the Jng Jng thing.

Sure.

I guess Jimmy told you?

I'm sorry.

Don't be. I mean it's actually a good thing.

She's cooking and cleaning for me.

Thanks, Jane.

Well, that's what friends are for.

Just friends?

No, good friends.

Jimmy?

Hey, Jimmy?

Yeah?

Hey, were you editing the showreel?

Oh, I just took a look.

Hey, come sit.

Let's work on it together!

I realize it was more than a family bond.

What do you mean?

I've always had this reaching for you...

...made me guilty.

My thoughts about you,

my feelings about you...

Say it.

Say it now.

I want you, Jane.

I wanted you, since you walked in our door.

I die the days I stand next to you just inches away from you.

Knowing that if I touch you, I might lose everything.

I want you too.

That...

...was truthful.