Original subtitles

I don’t know how it happened all so fast,

but she seems to know about all my hobbies, and sometimes...

...more about my hobbies than I do.

That’s a good thing, right?

I mean, one of the reasons why Charles and I got together...

...was 'cause we had so much in common.

Oh, yeah, like what?

We both want security,

family values,

and then we both love puppies.

Wow, sounds like a really passionate relationship.

Oh, yeah, 'cause goldfish...

...is a far more passionate foundation for a relationship.

That would be tropical fish.

With a dash of voodoo.

Okay, I admit she’s a little weird.

But at least she’s not boring.

Charles isn’t boring.

I didn’t say he was.

Yeah, you didn’t.

Okay, anyway, my point is...

...I don’t how or why it happened,

but she just said it.

I don’t want this to come out the wrong way,

but I really had a nice night tonight.

You can be quite funny...

...in a really dark, dry sort of way.

Thanks.

I think.

Maybe I have a little dark side, too.

That's what I like about you.

Actually, you know what?

What?

I think I love you.

She said "I think" I love you?

So she’s unsure, is that it?

How am I supposed to know? You’re a woman, you’re supposed to tell me.

What did you say back?

Nothing.

I was in shock.

That’s terrible, Jimmy!

She’s gone out on a limb, laid out her heart, and you just ignore it!

May I remind you that you’re defending a woman whom you despise?

Yeah, but she’s still a woman.

Are you all right, Jane?

Yeah. It’s just...

I said the same thing last week to Charles.

I think...

...I love you.

I’m sorry.

I think I’ve drunk too much wine.

What am I saying!

So, he didn’t say anything?

No.

But you meant it?

Of course I meant it. You wouldn’t say it if you didn’t mean it.

Well, you did say "I think" I love you,

so did you think you meant it or did you feel it?

I think I feel it and I feel I think it.

That’s as bad as not saying anything.

Shut up.

You also said that you had drunk too much,

so you could have been drunk talking.

No?

I guess that's possible.

But why didn’t he answer the question?

He was in shock.

I mean, why do you women always have to say the L word...

...out of the blue?

It wasn’t out of the blue.

It's not the first time.

What?

You’ve only been going out three months.

Well, he did do something kinda weird.

He kinda mouthed "I love you" back,

but he didn’t actually say it.

I couldn’t hear it.

What? Did you say something?

Say it again, I didn’t hear you.

Please, I didn’t hear you.

So you think he’s unsure or that he really doesn’t love me?

No, I think...

Look, when I said I was in shock, I didn’t mean that I didn’t feel anything.

I just couldn’t answer right away.

Men don’t express themselves that way, you know. It's unmanly.

I guess he’s just getting vulnerable, right?

Yeah. Maybe.

Maybe?

No, he must be. I think.

Thanks for the assurance, Jimmy.

That’s what friends are for.

So you finally got the L word.

I’m surprised it took her so long.

Hey, but you did the right thing.

Not saying anything is the first step.

But you can't keep doing that.

If you do, she’ll get really hurt.

Now you have to learn the oldest trick in the book.

What’s that?

No guy ever wants to say the L word. Ever.

Ever?

Yeah. Not that I know of.

I’ve never wanted to say it.

Have you?

No.

Never.

See?

So when they, women, do say it, and they will,

and you have to reply,

there are ways around it.

I love you.

Don't ruin the moment with spoken words.

I love you.

Oh, my gosh, I just noticed your new highlights.

They're absolutely gorgeous.

I love you.

Thank you.

That way, you never lie.

But you can only do that for so long.

That’s when you move to step two.

Just say the word colorful.

Colorful.

Now watch me.

I love you.

Colorful.

Now I'll just mouth the words.

That’s brilliant!

-It’s exactly the same -Right?

So you just mouth the word...

...colorful back.

Here, let me try.

Colorful.

Colorful.

Colorful.

You don't say it actually.

You just mouth it.

Okay.

Try.

Just mouth it.

Colorful...

I can't do it!

Didn't you ever do any kung fu dubbing?

No. What's that?

You insult my family.

Prepare to die!

How do you do that?

Practice, dude, practice.

So how was lunch with Jane the other day?

How did you know about that?

It was in your calendar.

You had a reminder.

Must have been important.

You look at my calendar?

Yes.

So how was it?

It was good.

She’s a good friend. We talk a lot.

Did you talk about me?

I don't know how or why it happened, but...

...she just said it.

She said "I think" I love you?

So she’s unsure, is that it?

How am I supposed to know. You’re a woman, you’re supposed to tell me.

Jimmy?

Yeah, we did talk a little about you.

Look at me.

I think I love you.

Wow, I didn’t realize your highlights...

...were so...

...highlighted.

Jimmy?

I love you.

Did you hear me?

I just said I love you.

Don’t ruin the moment with words.

What moment?

Thank you?

I just said I love you.

Colorful.

Did you just say colorful?

Your eyes are so colorful...

They’re brown.

-But there are so many shades of... -Just save it!

You said it would work!

You bastard!

It does work if you do it right.

You gotta mouth it, not say it!

You blew it, and you call yourself an actor!

You blew it!

-It's your fault! -No, you blew it!

So, it was all Bob’s fault.

But you tried it on Lingual.

Well, she just kept asking me, so what was I supposed to do?

I just said I love you.

Colorful.

Did you just say colorful?

Jane?

Jane!

I think...

...that’s what Charles did.

He was saying...

Colorful.

Colorful.

That’s what he did.

That’s what he was saying.

No, Jane. You...

You don’t know that.

I mean, that’s the beauty.

I mean...

He could just as easily have been saying the...

You know, the...

...L word.

Oh, Lingual’s waiting for you.

Why didn’t she just go in?

She doesn’t have a key.

But I have a key.

Yeah, you’re different.

Well, I better go. Have fun.

You gonna be okay?

Yeah, of course.

That’s not the end of it, 'cause even if you avoid the L word,

sooner or later, they want to define the relationship.

What's your relationship with Jane?

And there's a way around that?

Oh, yeah.

We're all friends. Bob and I have been friends with her since college.

Define old friends.

Lingual...

Then define our relationship.

There are various things you could say,

but it's kinda all the same diversion tactic.

So if she said define the relationship,

you would say?

Where do you think we are or...

...this is so unique, it defies definition or...

...this is special. Don’t you enjoy what we have? Or...

...it’s not so black and white.

This is so special. The minute we put a label on it,

we taint it.

That is so good!

Jimmy?

I asked you a question.

Define our relationship.

Well, where do you think we are?

I mean, this is so...

...unique,

what we have, that it defies definition.

And it is so...

...special,

what we have, that if you put a label on it,

you would taint it.

You sound like Bob.

Look, simple question...

...will we get married someday?

Yes or no?

And that’s what it all comes down to.

Do you want to marry them?

Are you gonna marry me...

...someday?

And the answer is almost always...

...no.

We just might not be able to say it, but they hear it.

Lingual, please come out.

Don’t do anything stupid in there, okay?

Come on, Lingual, come out.

Please.

Lingual.

Bob.

You have some explaining to do.

Nice to see you, too, Jane.

Bob, please explain this mouthing colorful thing you taught Jimmy.

What colorful thing?

Where you mouth colorful instead of saying I love you.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Bob, Jimmy told me you taught him to do it...

...to use on Lingual.

That guy has such a big mouth!

What, so now you’re lying, too?

No!

He broke the gentleman’s code.

Yeah, but you’re teaching him to lie...

...by saying colorful instead of I love you.

No, we’re not lying. That’s the point.

We're about being honest...

...even when we're backed into a corner.

So...

...he doesn’t really love me.

Who? Jimmy or your boyfriend?

Charles, of course.

Did Jimmy really say colorful to Lingual?

Colorful.

Did you just say colorful?

I told him mouth it.

Any monkey can do it.

So he can’t mouth it without vocalizing?

No. He practiced a whole day, Jane.

All day?

Colorful. Colorful. Colorful.

So, he doesn’t really love her?

No.

Oh, it's a good thing he's not lying.

Exactly.

But if he doesn’t love her, why is he with her?

Well, if Charles doesn’t love you,

why are you still with him?

-Why are you always here? -They’re my friends.

-Don’t you have a boyfriend? -Don’t you have any manners?

You’re always getting in the way.

-What? -You heard me.

It’s the most infuriating thing.

Why do women have to define it?

They ruin such a good thing so early!

It’s like an ultimatum.

Exactly.

What begins as a nice, great relationship,

where you’re just dating, finding out about each other and building trust,

then turns into an...

...interrogation.

And you end up finding ways of avoiding them.

Hey, Lingual.

Hi.

What are you doing here?

How did you get in?

Bob let me in.

I wasn’t expecting you tonight.

Do you have to expect me to see me?

Well, it's just that I have other plans tonight.

Like what?

Like...

...anything!

Like, do I have to tell you?

I think I deserve to know.

I am your girlfriend...

...aren’t I?

Well...

Yeah, we’re dating.

See, this is exactly what I want to know.

Am I at the stage where I need book an appointment in order to see you?

Does Jane have to book an appointment?

Why is this always about Jane?

Because she's got a key!

Everything has to be defined.

Like, why does she have a key while I don’t have a key?

Why does she get to pop over whenever when I have to make an appointment?

It ruins a perfectly good start,

and they make everything into this big issue.

Jane even wanted to know the definition of your relationship with Lingual.

It never stops.

Wait, Jane asked about Lingual and me?

Yeah.

She wanted to know why you’re still with her?

Well,

'cause I find her funny.

She’s funny,

she’s surprising,

she says some things that just knocks me out of the park.

You should know what I mean.

I do.

But do you love her?

Oh, hey.

Morning.

Wow.

Breakfast.

For me?

Wow. Good.

So, Bob and Jane are old friends as well?

Lingual, I’m losing my appetite.

I just want to find out if you feel anything for Jane.

Why?

Well, do you or don't you?

This is ridiculous. You’re ruining everything that we have, Lingual.

I'm just not comfortable.

Look, can you do this just for me?

Can you not hang out with her at the house?

How many times have I said this?

We are friends and good friends at that. Special friends.

You have no idea what we’ve been through.

But that's exactly what I’m trying to say!

You like her, don’t you? Just admit it.

You wouldn't understand. You don’t have friends.

You said what?

I know. I know it was mean,

but she was being unreasonable and she just kept pushing.

You know she has low self-esteem.

Yeah, well, it's true. I never see her with anyone.

You gotta help her. Build up her confidence.

Dude, that’s how you got me into this mess in the first place.

Don’t put this on me. I didn't ask you to be her boyfriend.

That you did on your own.

Well, I have to find her.

Do you know where she might be?

I think I know.

-Why are you always here? -They’re my friends.

-Don’t you have a boyfriend? -Don’t you have any manners?

You’re always getting in the way.

-What? -You heard me.

Colorful.

I can still hear you saying it!

Donkey.

Donkey?

It looks just like sorry.

Donkey.

What are you, sadistic?

I must really like you.

I mean,

I haven't skewered you.

Yet.

So I’ve been downgraded to like?

If you won’t say it, I won’t.

Deal.

You felt uncomfortable coming over to the house?

Well, obviously, Lingual doesn’t want me there.

It’s not her house.

Yeah, but it’s more than that.

I just feel like I'm holding you guys back from your relationships.

Jane, you’re the reason why we're sane when we’re in our relationships.

Come on.

Come to think of it, does...

...Charles ever wonder what you’re up to when you're over?

No.

He’s too busy to notice.

Sometimes I wish he would notice.

You know, it’s just a timing thing.

Everybody actually wants to say I love you.

The hard part is just waiting for that time to come.

I can still hear you saying it!