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1
00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:09,525
How'm I looking?
2
00:00:09,525 --> 00:00:12,425
Ya... fine.
3
00:00:12,425 --> 00:00:13,045
It's easy.
4
00:00:13,125 --> 00:00:16,785
You've just gotta make sure you use your
eyes and your mirrors at all times.
5
00:00:16,885 --> 00:00:17,785
I'll show you again.
6
00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:19,785
I think three times is enough actually,
Warren.
7
00:00:19,785 --> 00:00:20,785
Can I have a go now?
8
00:00:22,185 --> 00:00:25,200
"Can I have a go now?" It's not a
Game Boy, luv.
9
00:00:25,250 --> 00:00:27,000
But how am I gonna learn by just watching?
10
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:30,000
Because you just have to watch and see
how its done properly.
11
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,480
You can't just jump in.
12
00:00:31,700 --> 00:00:35,000
Yeah, but we've stood here for 25
minutes. Its 10:30 already.
13
00:00:35,250 --> 00:00:40,450
Is it? Bloody hell, I've gotta
get going. I'll see you next week!
14
00:00:58,450 --> 00:01:01,450
Ah, Warren, where are ya? We should have
left at eleven.
15
00:01:01,450 --> 00:01:04,450
Call me back when you get this
message, please.
16
00:01:04,450 --> 00:01:06,250
How do we know her, again?
17
00:01:06,350 --> 00:01:08,650
Aunt Faye, granddad's sister.
18
00:01:08,650 --> 00:01:10,350
How come I've never heard of her
'til now?
19
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,450
Well, she kept herself to herself.
20
00:01:12,450 --> 00:01:14,700
And your granddad fell out with her
after she met a German bloke
21
00:01:14,550 --> 00:01:16,050
she met at the dance in Formby.
22
00:01:16,700 --> 00:01:20,300
Oh, very smart, luv. Did you see if
Warren was coming up the road?
23
00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:23,200
No, I didn't notice. Mum, have I even
met this lady before?
24
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:24,675
Yes, she was at your christening.
25
00:01:24,675 --> 00:01:27,375
She was the one wearing the dress with
the flowers on.
26
00:01:27,375 --> 00:01:29,845
- How old was I?
- About six months, something like that.
27
00:01:29,900 --> 00:01:33,475
You should definitely remember it. You
were asleep on her lap for most of it.
28
00:01:33,475 --> 00:01:34,875
Is that you, Warren?
29
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:38,000
No, its the other bloke with a key.
Of course it's me!
30
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:41,700
Where have ya been? I told you not to go
on a lesson today, didn't I?
31
00:01:41,700 --> 00:01:43,200
Well, I wasn't going to waste a whole
day's money
32
00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,400
for some old biddy I've never even met,
was I?
33
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,900
Right, get upstairs and get changed, as
quick as you can.
34
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:49,900
Boys, ring Nan, tell her we'll be 10
minutes.
35
00:01:49,900 --> 00:01:51,800
Warren, we'll wait in the big car.
36
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:54,800
Better make that 20 minutes, I just want
to make one little stop on the way.
37
00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:56,600
- You are joking me?
- I'll be quick!
38
00:01:56,800 --> 00:02:00,600
- Can it not wait?
- Its important, Anne.
39
00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:06,400
That's them. About 8 of those, I reckon.
40
00:02:08,485 --> 00:02:09,700
Do you want to get the other side?
41
00:02:09,700 --> 00:02:12,100
What, dressed like this? No chance.
42
00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:14,300
Get one of your little friends if you're
struggling.
43
00:02:14,333 --> 00:02:17,100
Oi, luv, give her a hand with these,
she's struggling.
44
00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:20,900
Come on, haven't got all day...
45
00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:22,300
In the back, here.
46
00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:26,000
For god's sake, Warren!
47
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:30,720
Anne, enjoying that patio or not, the
sale ends today. I can't risk it!
48
00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:32,840
You were half an hour.
- Well, don't blame me!
49
00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:35,840
Blame these two jokers. It took them 20
minutes to get that load on.
50
00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:37,700
Sorry, they are quite heavy.
51
00:02:37,805 --> 00:02:40,340
Yes, a little less chatting and a bit
more loading, thank you.
52
00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:43,540
Right, tell Nan we're on our way,
at last.
53
00:02:43,700 --> 00:02:44,840
You could always give us a hand.
54
00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:47,190
No, it looks like you've got a good
rhythm going there, you keep going.
55
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:49,050
We're never going to make it there
in time.
56
00:02:49,050 --> 00:02:53,000
Anne, I promise you I'll get you to that
funeral, OK? Just trust me.
57
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,600
Right, Nan says there waiting on the
porch
58
00:02:56,630 --> 00:02:59,000
'cause Grandad's having trouble with his
urine infection.
59
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:00,000
Oh god, that's all we need...
60
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:02,990
Grandad pissing like a race horse every
10 minutes.
61
00:03:15,090 --> 00:03:16,320
Can you ask them to stop?
62
00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:19,890
It's like "Fifty Shades of Gray" every
time I look in the mirror.
63
00:03:19,890 --> 00:03:22,650
I think its lovely they're getting on
again.
64
00:03:22,890 --> 00:03:25,250
Christ, who bought you that,
David Blunkett?
65
00:03:25,890 --> 00:03:27,390
Faye gave it to me when I was younger.
66
00:03:27,390 --> 00:03:29,550
She was ever so good to me so it felt
right to wear it.
67
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:33,690
- Why, what did she do?
- Well, Liz used to go away to holiday
68
00:03:33,750 --> 00:03:35,400
camps but I wasn't old enough, so I used
69
00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:39,290
to go and stay with Faye. She had a bed-
sitter over a hairdressers' in Blackpool
70
00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:43,590
that she used to work in, and I used to
go down every day and sweep the floors.
71
00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:46,490
Blimey, she was good to you. Sounds like
a cracking summer.
72
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:51,800
'ere, Dad, when was the last time you
saw her? - You talking to me?
73
00:03:51,990 --> 00:03:54,800
Yeah, I said "when was the last time you
saw Faye?"
74
00:03:54,850 --> 00:04:00,850
She says "when was the last time you saw
Faye?" - Oh, I dunno, '92?
75
00:04:01,390 --> 00:04:04,390
No, when did ya last see her, not how
old was she...
76
00:04:04,390 --> 00:04:09,000
That's right, 1992.
- What, you haven't seen her since 1992?
77
00:04:09,150 --> 00:04:12,165
- Noooo, we fell out.
- Because she married a German.
78
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:17,147
I couldn't give two shiney shites if he
were German, but he managed a pub for 27
79
00:04:17,187 --> 00:04:20,804
years, and did he ever give me a free
pint? Did he bollocks!
80
00:04:20,850 --> 00:04:24,950
And she were just as bad, with her
bloody haircuts.
81
00:04:24,970 --> 00:04:28,167
Never a sniff of any discount there!
82
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:29,750
Why are you going to her funeral, then?
83
00:04:30,050 --> 00:04:33,700
I didn't want to go. She wanted to go
for the bloody buffet.
84
00:04:33,750 --> 00:04:39,400
How dare you? I wanted to go out of
respect for your sister.
85
00:04:41,050 --> 00:04:43,530
Although they do always put on a good
spread.
86
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:46,200
Oooh, before I forget, I said you'd do a
reading today.
87
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,100
What? I'd never even met her.
88
00:04:48,250 --> 00:04:51,600
You know I can't do it. I get too
nervous in front of crowds.
89
00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:54,500
Anyway, its only a couple of lines from
the bible.
90
00:04:54,650 --> 00:04:57,200
Do we know which couple of lines from
the bible? I mean, I seem to remember it
91
00:04:57,200 --> 00:05:01,744
being quite a big book. - I printed it
off, its in me bag. Summat about Jesus.
92
00:05:01,744 --> 00:05:03,100
- You'll be fine.
- Jesus...
93
00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:04,750
Do you want to swap seats with me,
Colin?
94
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:08,200
Uh, no, you're alright. I'll never fit
in that little space.
95
00:05:12,050 --> 00:05:15,734
You know, I was sure Faye was already
dead. - I thought that.
96
00:05:15,950 --> 00:05:19,100
- Who was it that fell in the river?
- Ooh, that were Val.
97
00:05:19,150 --> 00:05:22,900
- She fell in a river?
- Yeah. Ooh, she was fishing illegally
98
00:05:22,900 --> 00:05:27,190
with Uncle Morris in the River Ribble
one night. She leant over the ice to try
99
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:29,600
and stroke an otter, slipped under, and
we never saw her again.
100
00:05:29,721 --> 00:05:32,600
- Christ, here we go.
- Ooh, Morris took it very badly.
101
00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:35,725
After he got the life insurance, he
started wearing the leather trousers
102
00:05:35,735 --> 00:05:38,711
without the arse in. Then he bought the
chihuahua and moved to Brighton,
103
00:05:38,722 --> 00:05:42,333
we never saw him again, either. All in
all, it was quite the tragedy.
104
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:44,884
Can we stop soon, Warren, I need a wee.
105
00:05:45,104 --> 00:05:47,680
Oh bloody hell, Bill, we've only just
got going.
106
00:05:47,721 --> 00:05:50,698
- Well I've got an infection.
- He has got an infection, Warren.
107
00:05:50,898 --> 00:05:52,000
Alright, don't worry about the rest
of us,
108
00:05:52,150 --> 00:05:54,000
we'll just all be late because of you.
109
00:05:54,291 --> 00:05:58,608
Of course we can, Dad. Warren, stop at
the next services. - Thank you.
110
00:06:00,688 --> 00:06:05,684
How's work going, Charlie?
- Work? He does 3 hours on a Saturday.
111
00:06:05,684 --> 00:06:07,181
Six hours on a Saturday, actually.
112
00:06:07,199 --> 00:06:09,978
Oh, I beg your pardon, is it the whole
six? I take it all back.
113
00:06:10,878 --> 00:06:13,675
- Are you still courting, Danny?
- Yeah.
114
00:06:17,375 --> 00:06:21,171
How long have you two been together now,
luv? - A few months, maybe a bit longer.
115
00:06:21,671 --> 00:06:23,468
- What was her name again?
- Jenny.
116
00:06:23,668 --> 00:06:25,665
Are you still giving her your oats?
117
00:06:26,665 --> 00:06:29,041
Ooh, that's enough, thank you. We're on
our way to a funeral.
118
00:06:29,071 --> 00:06:31,400
We don't want to know about Danny's
oats.
119
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:35,250
Look at this prat, two inches off my
bumper.
120
00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:38,350
Well, we are sitting in the outside
lane, Warren.
121
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,850
- Well, he'll have to wait. - Yeah,
actually you can't actually hog
122
00:06:40,850 --> 00:06:43,050
the outside lane, Warren. Maybe you
should move over?
123
00:06:43,100 --> 00:06:46,690
Oh, listen to him. Three driving lessons
and he's Mika bloody Hakkinen.
124
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,750
I'm not letting him past. He's just
trying to bully us.
125
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,650
- I think you should move over, Warren.
- I'm not moving over.
126
00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:54,050
You should move over, though, Warren!
127
00:06:54,250 --> 00:06:57,100
I'm not going to be bullied by some
tosser in a Mazda.
128
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,150
He's getting quite close. Should we move
over? - No!
129
00:06:59,650 --> 00:07:02,650
I'm going to need a wee soon, Warren, so
we should mover over.
130
00:07:02,750 --> 00:07:05,350
- I'm not moving over.
- Just move over, Warren!
131
00:07:05,450 --> 00:07:08,800
Fine, then, don't mind me, I'm just the
bloke driving the car.
132
00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:19,800
You wanker!
You...
133
00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,600
- Warren, don't! Stop it!
- Just leave it!
134
00:07:24,750 --> 00:07:27,600
Oh, for goodness sakes!
Let it go, Warren!
135
00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:30,150
Its started to rattle back here, Warren.
136
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:33,550
- Oooh, what's going on?
- I'm not sure.
137
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:34,800
Warren, what have you done?
138
00:07:34,850 --> 00:07:37,600
- What's happening up there, Warren?
- He's not sure.
139
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,250
- Don't panic.
- Warren?
140
00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:48,400
Its fine, I'll sort it.
141
00:07:48,412 --> 00:07:49,550
Shall I call Roadside Recovery?
142
00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:53,000
Ah, no no no no no, um, I'll have a look
at it first.
143
00:07:53,050 --> 00:07:54,650
I'll have us moving in no time.
144
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,080
Is this the services?
145
00:07:56,110 --> 00:07:59,150
No, dad, you'll have to go for a wee
here, down by that river.
146
00:07:59,276 --> 00:08:00,694
Watch out for Uncle Morris.
147
00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:14,569
- What's going on then, big fella?
- I dunno, mate, I'm just havin' a look.
148
00:08:14,579 --> 00:08:16,700
We'd better call Roadside Recovery,
hadn't we?
149
00:08:17,076 --> 00:08:20,800
Colin, I haven't renewed with Roadside
Recovery. They're theiving bastards.
150
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,759
They wanted a bloody fortune to renew,
151
00:08:22,764 --> 00:08:25,585
then they tried to stick an admin fee on
top. Sod that!
152
00:08:26,250 --> 00:08:29,497
Oh, and no hard feelings about that
thing with me and Liz.
153
00:08:29,497 --> 00:08:32,494
Actually, I'll be honest, we've never
been better! - Ah, good about it.
154
00:08:32,494 --> 00:08:35,050
We're like bloody teenagers again.
I can't keep her off of me! - Uh, right.
155
00:08:35,150 --> 00:08:37,250
We've been at it a couple of times each
night these last few weeks.
156
00:08:37,300 --> 00:08:39,850
- I didn't know she had it in her!
- Ya, I think it might be the oil.
157
00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:43,080
So, I went to the library and got meself
a copy of the Kama Sutra.
158
00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:46,077
Some of those positions would make your
bloody eyes water!
159
00:08:46,077 --> 00:08:50,150
My favourite's the "Reclining Lotus."
You can see everything!
160
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,841
Sometimes, I can see what she had for
dinner. - Ooooohhh...
161
00:08:54,071 --> 00:08:56,800
So we started recording ourselves and
putting it on DVD.
162
00:08:57,067 --> 00:08:59,200
Remind me not to borrow a film off you,
then.
163
00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:05,100
- Does Warren know what he's doing?
- Yeaa... yeah he's fine, he'll sort it.
164
00:09:05,158 --> 00:09:08,455
Do you think we should call the Roadside
Recovery, just in case?
165
00:09:08,805 --> 00:09:12,351
No, he'll fix it. He is a driving
instructor, after all.
166
00:09:13,001 --> 00:09:16,378
How would you know if someone's breaking
up with ya? - Why, what's she said?
167
00:09:16,448 --> 00:09:18,795
Nothing. No, she's just not been
replying to my messages today.
168
00:09:18,945 --> 00:09:21,641
Don't worry about it, mate. Plenty of
girls ignore my messages all the time.
169
00:09:21,651 --> 00:09:24,638
- You just get used to it in the end.
- Right. Cheers.
170
00:09:24,678 --> 00:09:27,835
Right, you two. Go and get me some oil
from that last services.
171
00:09:27,835 --> 00:09:30,231
- That's miles away!
- It'll only take you twenty minutes.
172
00:09:30,331 --> 00:09:33,828
- No way, that's ages to walk.
- Yes way... get out.
173
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:41,825
Uhmm... I want' the change.
174
00:09:42,450 --> 00:09:44,609
Are we alright walking down a dual
carriage way?
175
00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:46,918
Well, I'm not asking you to walk down
the central reservation.
176
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:50,115
Just stay on the grass bit there,
you baby.
177
00:10:19,776 --> 00:10:22,822
Sorry... got an infection.
178
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:26,268
Enjoy your pork pies.
179
00:10:28,415 --> 00:10:32,662
- How are things going with you and
Colin, luv? - Oh mum, they're brilliant!
180
00:10:32,762 --> 00:10:37,759
- We're like teenagers in love again.
- Aww that's great news. I'm so pleased.
181
00:10:37,849 --> 00:10:41,077
And, uh...
it was meant to be a surprise, but...
182
00:10:41,257 --> 00:10:43,155
We're going to get our wedding vows
renewed.
183
00:10:43,155 --> 00:10:48,152
Aww, that's made me all giddy! I'm light
headed anyway.
184
00:10:48,250 --> 00:10:50,690
I haven't eaten since half-six this
morning.
185
00:10:50,849 --> 00:10:55,046
- Why did you eat so early, mam?
- I was saving meself for the buffet.
186
00:10:55,346 --> 00:10:57,094
No point filling up on corn flakes
187
00:10:57,450 --> 00:11:00,600
and not being able to squeeze a
vol-au-vent in. - True.
188
00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:05,458
How's he gettin' on out there, Anne?
We're a bit pushed for time here.
189
00:11:05,558 --> 00:11:09,554
He promised me he'd get us there on
time, so let's not panic.
190
00:11:09,554 --> 00:11:13,351
And he promised you he'd buy you a spa
weekend for your birthday,
191
00:11:13,551 --> 00:11:18,648
but instead he bought you a massage with
that big Iranian man in the town centre.
192
00:11:18,748 --> 00:11:23,044
Oh yeah, ooooh he had hands like bunches
of bananas. - Ooooh...
193
00:11:23,144 --> 00:11:25,561
Okay, maybe I should give them a little
call just in case.
194
00:11:26,821 --> 00:11:27,918
You know it'll be wrong, don't ya?
195
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:33,214
Whatever oil we get, somehow it'll be
wrong. It'll be too expensive, or
196
00:11:33,450 --> 00:11:37,611
not the right colour, or the wrong
shape... or... something.
197
00:11:40,371 --> 00:11:41,650
Are you going to be like this the whole
way?
198
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,677
I just don't understand why she isn't
replying to any of my texts.
199
00:11:44,700 --> 00:11:46,101
Danny, it'll be... fine.
200
00:11:46,537 --> 00:11:48,198
I'm trying to think of things I might
have done to upset her.
201
00:11:48,498 --> 00:11:49,894
Well, you wouldn't have done anything
wrong.
202
00:11:50,094 --> 00:11:53,091
I changed my profile picture yesterday
to one of me playing the clarinet.
203
00:11:53,091 --> 00:11:56,128
- Maybe that upset her? - I can't
imagine that turned her on much,
204
00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:57,279
but I doubt that'd be it.
205
00:11:57,284 --> 00:11:59,133
She messaged me last night but we were
having dinner
206
00:11:59,137 --> 00:12:00,581
so I didn't reply straight away.
207
00:12:00,581 --> 00:12:04,308
It took me like eight minutes to reply.
That's quite a long time, eight minutes!
208
00:12:04,384 --> 00:12:08,205
Just relax, maybe she left the phone at
home, or... run out of battery.
209
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,391
- She's read the messages.
- She's read the messages?
210
00:12:13,271 --> 00:12:14,568
Oh ya, well she's ignoring ya.
211
00:12:16,108 --> 00:12:20,205
- How many messages have ya sent so far?
- Ya, quite a few...
212
00:12:22,565 --> 00:12:24,461
Hey, sometimes its good being single.
213
00:12:31,861 --> 00:12:37,758
Yes, Anne Humphries.
Number 100545.
214
00:12:39,358 --> 00:12:41,355
I'm pretty sure we are.
215
00:12:41,385 --> 00:12:44,241
- What's he saying?
- He's saying we're not members anymore.
216
00:12:44,248 --> 00:12:45,348
Can you check again?
217
00:12:45,368 --> 00:12:51,265
Oooh, terrible, these breakdown people,
aren't they? Its all take, take, take.
218
00:12:51,345 --> 00:12:54,341
Oh, I know. Mind you, if we left it to
Colin, we'd be on the side of the road
219
00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:56,208
for days. He hasn't got a clue!
220
00:12:56,238 --> 00:12:58,750
Oooh, your dad's the same. He waits
'til the light goes on,
221
00:12:58,850 --> 00:13:01,100
and then takes it to Halfords.
222
00:13:01,131 --> 00:13:03,988
Well, I can only apologize.
- What's happened?
223
00:13:04,128 --> 00:13:07,325
He's saying Warren refused to renew.
- Why?
224
00:13:07,325 --> 00:13:10,321
Well, when Warren rang, the price'd gone
up, and the bloke says there's a note on
225
00:13:10,321 --> 00:13:13,318
the system that Warren called them a
bunch of money-grabbing tossers, and
226
00:13:13,318 --> 00:13:16,245
refuse to pay the admin fee.
- How much was the admin fee?
227
00:13:16,515 --> 00:13:22,100
- £2.50 - Oooohhh! He's as tight as a
duck's ass, that man.
228
00:13:39,803 --> 00:13:42,369
- Ay mate, ya got any oil?
- What kind of oil?
229
00:13:42,769 --> 00:13:47,566
- Like car oil... like oil for a car.
- What kind of car?
230
00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:51,563
- Um... I think its a Nissan?
- No, we've run out.
231
00:13:51,763 --> 00:13:53,959
- What, you don't have any?
- No.
232
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:59,056
Oh well, we tried our best. Might as
well get some chocolate bars, eh?
233
00:13:59,166 --> 00:14:02,333
- What d'ya want?
- It's Jenny!
234
00:14:02,553 --> 00:14:04,749
Well see, I told you there was nothing
to worry about.
235
00:14:04,749 --> 00:14:07,646
Hold on... Hello?
236
00:14:13,746 --> 00:14:14,943
What scratch cards ya got?
237
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:20,800
- Have you checked the water? - Its not
the water. I think its the oil, Bill.
238
00:14:20,900 --> 00:14:23,500
- No, it won't be the oil.
- Might be the spark plugs.
239
00:14:23,550 --> 00:14:26,233
- Or the carburettor.
- No, it won't be the carburettor.
240
00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:29,229
Well, you say that, but when I broke
down it was the carburettor.
241
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,600
Or try the valve engine, could be that.
242
00:14:31,626 --> 00:14:34,800
Look, would you two mind just giving me
a little bit of peace and quiet?
243
00:14:34,823 --> 00:14:37,850
Charming! You try to help and that's
what you get.
244
00:14:38,220 --> 00:14:41,166
How are you getting on, luv?
- I think it might be the valve engine.
245
00:14:41,122 --> 00:14:44,813
No its not the valve engine! There's no
such thing as a "valve engine", Colin!
246
00:14:44,943 --> 00:14:48,000
Have you tried turning it off, and
turning it back on again?
247
00:14:47,610 --> 00:14:48,806
No, I hadn't thought of that.
248
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:54,203
Shall I see if its still connected to
the printer, as well?
249
00:14:52,103 --> 00:14:56,230
Look, why don't you three just get back
in the car, give me a moment's peace to
250
00:14:56,290 --> 00:14:58,196
fix it, and then we can all get there.
251
00:14:58,196 --> 00:15:01,193
- Get back in the car, eh?
- Alright.
252
00:15:01,193 --> 00:15:04,190
Are you sure you don't want me to ring
Roadside Recovery?
253
00:15:04,190 --> 00:15:08,386
No, I said I'm fine, didn't I? Look, I
promised I'd get you there, and I will
254
00:15:08,399 --> 00:15:11,443
if you just give me a little bit of
space. - Okay luv.
255
00:15:13,053 --> 00:15:16,180
And there wasn't any problem with the
renewal? Went through alright?
256
00:15:16,180 --> 00:15:19,176
Ya ya ya, it was fine.
257
00:15:27,055 --> 00:15:28,653
- Hello.
- Hel... what?
258
00:15:28,653 --> 00:15:30,600
- Hello.
- Is that North End Taxis?
259
00:15:30,627 --> 00:15:32,346
- Yep.
- Yeah, I want a quote please, mate.
260
00:15:32,356 --> 00:15:33,443
From where to where?
261
00:15:33,643 --> 00:15:38,040
Well, I need to get to the Westbourne
Crematorium in Blackpool.
262
00:15:38,340 --> 00:15:39,536
Okay, from where?
263
00:15:39,636 --> 00:15:42,633
Well, the thing is, I don't know where I
am, mate, I've broken down.
264
00:15:42,633 --> 00:15:47,530
- I'm somewhere on the A583.
- Well, the A583's forty miles long!
265
00:15:47,630 --> 00:15:51,327
Yeah, there's a river... and a sign.
266
00:15:51,627 --> 00:15:54,623
- Okay, and what does the sign say?
- "Danger Low bridge."
267
00:15:54,623 --> 00:15:57,000
Mate, I can't help you if I don't know
where you are!
268
00:15:57,005 --> 00:15:58,837
Well, can't you trace me... use a GPS
or something?
269
00:15:59,007 --> 00:16:01,093
I'm not the FBI, mate! I'm a taxi firm!
270
00:16:01,313 --> 00:16:04,540
- Alright, I just want a rough quote.
- Alright, it'll be £100.
271
00:16:04,610 --> 00:16:07,407
A hundred quid? I want a taxi, not a
bloody limo!
272
00:16:07,447 --> 00:16:11,403
Oh, I can't give you a proper quote if I
don't bloody know where you are, can I?
273
00:16:11,444 --> 00:16:15,600
Well I tell you what... shove it!
Absolute moron!
274
00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:25,297
- You alright?
- Yeah, fine.
275
00:16:25,300 --> 00:16:27,493
- What's the matter?
- Nothing...
276
00:16:29,793 --> 00:16:31,960
Don't worry about it. Happens to the
best of us.
277
00:16:33,290 --> 00:16:36,537
Do you want a scratch card? Warren's
bought us a load of them.
278
00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:46,683
We'll have to hurry up, Anne. We haven't
got long before it starts.
279
00:16:46,983 --> 00:16:50,360
The Roadside Recovery man is on his way,
so it'll be sorted soon.
280
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:57,317
Oooh, look at you two... love's young
dream. Liz was saying, actually,
281
00:16:57,677 --> 00:17:01,073
you're going to renew your marriage
vows, Colin?
282
00:17:00,673 --> 00:17:03,670
- Well, ya, but...
- But what?
283
00:17:03,670 --> 00:17:05,467
Well, I didn't know it were common
knowledge.
284
00:17:05,667 --> 00:17:08,463
- What, I can't tell me own family?
- No, its not that, it's just...
285
00:17:08,663 --> 00:17:11,960
What's the matter? You don't want us
there? - No, I just...
286
00:17:12,660 --> 00:17:15,257
I thought it were going to be just us,
that's all.
287
00:17:15,311 --> 00:17:18,153
Oh charming, did ya hear that, Anne? He
don't want us there.
288
00:17:18,193 --> 00:17:19,680
'Course he wants us there.
289
00:17:20,050 --> 00:17:24,447
Just us? No way... we're having a big
party and everything.
290
00:17:24,455 --> 00:17:25,943
Oh... I don't know about that...
291
00:17:26,043 --> 00:17:28,440
If he doesn't want us there, he doesn't
want us there.
292
00:17:28,450 --> 00:17:30,337
What, you think I just want you and me?
293
00:17:30,637 --> 00:17:32,634
- No chance.
- What's that supposed to mean?
294
00:17:32,644 --> 00:17:33,630
Will there be a buffet?
295
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:36,927
Oh, leave it! You're all invited!
296
00:17:41,750 --> 00:17:43,624
Oh, Roadside revovery man's here.
297
00:17:43,650 --> 00:17:46,620
Oh thank goodness, I'm bloody starving!
298
00:17:52,350 --> 00:17:55,767
- Afternoon sir, having a few problems?
- What are you doing here?
299
00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:59,924
- Aye, had a callout, uh Anne Humphries.
- Bollocks!
300
00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:06,600
Blue Toyota Previa, reg M216... JPB.
What happened?
301
00:18:07,310 --> 00:18:10,307
She doesn't look after her car, that's
the trouble. I was driving along,
302
00:18:10,307 --> 00:18:13,304
minding me own business, and then bash,
that's gone off... I pulled over here.
303
00:18:13,304 --> 00:18:18,100
I've had a go at trying to fix it but I
don't seem to be getting anywhere.
304
00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:20,197
Right, let's look, shall we?
305
00:18:20,297 --> 00:18:22,794
Yeah, I think it's the oil, mate, I'm
pretty good at these things.
306
00:18:22,994 --> 00:18:25,790
Ooh, by the looks of it, this is a right
mess. - What?
307
00:18:25,810 --> 00:18:28,987
Well, you've mixed up the HT leads, for
a start. - Hang on, mate?
308
00:18:28,987 --> 00:18:30,284
What you been doing in here?
309
00:18:30,584 --> 00:18:35,280
Listen, pal, don't come down here
showing off in your... stupid jacket.
310
00:18:35,294 --> 00:18:38,127
I'm not showing off, I'm just saying...
you've messed it up.
311
00:18:38,177 --> 00:18:41,934
- I know what the bloody hell I'm doing!
- Clearly, you don't!
312
00:18:42,174 --> 00:18:48,496
Listen, pal, I am a customer! Show me
some customer care! - And I'm trying to,
313
00:18:48,370 --> 00:18:51,367
and I'm the mechanic trying to sort
things out for you, alright?
314
00:18:51,367 --> 00:18:55,364
It's the oil, mate. I know cars, I'm a
driving instructor!
315
00:18:55,364 --> 00:18:59,060
You've pulled the bloody spark plugs
out. It's chaos in here.
316
00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:01,357
Roadside Recovery, my arse.
317
00:19:01,357 --> 00:19:04,954
- Thanks for doing that, boys.
- I've brought chocoloate for everyone.
318
00:19:04,954 --> 00:19:07,950
- Oooh, lovely! Have you got a Bounty?
- Yeah, I got a Bounty.
319
00:19:07,950 --> 00:19:13,157
Nana... a Crunchie. Grandad, Turkish Delight.
- Oooh, lovely!
320
00:19:14,047 --> 00:19:17,044
I don't think I want to eat this, Anne,
it might spoil me apetite.
321
00:19:17,144 --> 00:19:18,848
- What do you think?
- Whatever you want, mam.
322
00:19:18,941 --> 00:19:22,137
I'll just pop it in me bag for later,
shall I?
323
00:19:22,337 --> 00:19:24,395
In case they haven't got any cake.
324
00:19:24,420 --> 00:19:25,900
Liz, Galaxy Caramel or Milky Way?
325
00:19:26,031 --> 00:19:27,507
Galaxy Caramel please, luv.
326
00:19:27,527 --> 00:19:28,850
There you go. Milky Way for you, Colin?
327
00:19:28,924 --> 00:19:31,821
Oh I see, Colin doesn't get a choice in
anything, he just gets told.
328
00:19:31,521 --> 00:19:34,517
Oh, have a day off, Colin, you're like
a bloody child!
329
00:19:34,517 --> 00:19:36,600
That's why I got Milky Way, is it? I'm a
child?
330
00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:38,605
- Might as well've given me a Freddo.
- You can have mine if you want?
331
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:40,507
- What is it?
- Daim Bar.
332
00:19:40,607 --> 00:19:42,804
Oh no, you're alright. Them bits always
get stuck in me teeth.
333
00:19:42,866 --> 00:19:46,001
I'll be picking them out for weeks.
Anyone else want to swap a Milky Way?
334
00:19:46,111 --> 00:19:46,997
I have had a bite of mine,
335
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,394
but I'll give you the rest of my Bounty
for your Milky Way.
336
00:19:49,794 --> 00:19:54,367
No, you're alright. Anyone else? Bill?
- Eh?
337
00:19:54,371 --> 00:19:56,127
Swap you're Turkish Delight for me Milky
Way.
338
00:19:56,587 --> 00:19:59,084
Oh no, you're alright. Them's tiny.
339
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:02,350
Aww, Sheila, can I have your Crunchie if
you're not going to have it?
340
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:05,525
I do want to have it, Colin, just not
now.
341
00:20:06,277 --> 00:20:08,950
- Danny, you've not got some chocolate.
- No, I'm fine.
342
00:20:08,950 --> 00:20:11,200
- But you love chocolate.
- Yeah no, I'm fine.
343
00:20:11,750 --> 00:20:13,900
- You alright, you look at bit pale?
- No, he said he's fine.
344
00:20:14,900 --> 00:20:18,450
- You look upset. - Perhaps he's upset
about missing the funeral.
345
00:20:18,264 --> 00:20:21,261
I'm not upset about anything, I'm fine.
Just leave it!
346
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:36,400
Well it won't be long now. Roadside
Recovery man's just got here.
347
00:20:37,197 --> 00:20:39,150
I know a bloody oil problem when I see
one.
348
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:40,900
There's nothing wrong with the oil!
349
00:20:40,951 --> 00:20:44,448
- Well fine, piss off, ya jumped up
tosser, I'll do it myself! - Fine!
350
00:20:44,348 --> 00:20:45,344
- Fine!
- Fine!
351
00:20:45,350 --> 00:20:50,941
Twat!
- Roadside Recovery man's just left...
352
00:21:12,841 --> 00:21:17,438
- Has he gone to get parts?
- No... Sheila, just leave it.
353
00:21:18,038 --> 00:21:19,034
Give me a minute to think.
354
00:21:26,934 --> 00:21:27,931
Have you planted your bulbs yet, Warren?
355
00:21:27,931 --> 00:21:30,428
No, Bill, just gimme a minute to think.
356
00:21:30,428 --> 00:21:31,084
Did it last week.
357
00:21:33,324 --> 00:21:35,571
I say, have you planted your bulbs yet,
Warren?
358
00:21:35,621 --> 00:21:38,608
- He did 'em last week.
- Oh, very good.
359
00:21:39,518 --> 00:21:42,114
And we're going to get the pond finished
soon, as well.
360
00:21:42,124 --> 00:21:44,711
And they're going to get the pond
finished soon, as well.
361
00:21:44,911 --> 00:21:48,308
Oh right, what are you going to have in
there, fish?
362
00:21:48,318 --> 00:21:50,284
Maybe some fish, not sure.
363
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:54,925
Oh, I tell you what, we saw Jackie
McIlvenny's garden last week.
364
00:21:54,955 --> 00:21:58,928
- Ooooh, is it nice?
- Oh yeah, it is a really nice garden.
365
00:21:59,198 --> 00:22:02,194
You'll have a nice garden soon, though,
eh, Warren? When the pond's finished?
366
00:22:02,194 --> 00:22:05,191
Colin said you'll have a nice garden
when the pond's finished.
367
00:22:05,191 --> 00:22:05,788
What are you going to have in there,
fish?
368
00:22:05,888 --> 00:22:08,984
Maybe some fish, he doesn't know.
369
00:22:09,084 --> 00:22:12,881
Oh, have you told them about Jackie
McIlvenny's garden? - Oh no, I haven't.
370
00:22:12,881 --> 00:22:15,878
I'll tell you who's got a nice garden...
Jackie McIlvenny!
371
00:22:15,878 --> 00:22:18,874
Anne was just telling me about Jackie
McIlvenny's garden.
372
00:22:18,874 --> 00:22:23,200
When did you see Jackie McIlvenny's
garden? - I didn't, Liz did.
373
00:22:23,271 --> 00:22:25,868
No, I know, Liz, when did you see Jackie
McIlvenny's garden?
374
00:22:25,868 --> 00:22:28,864
- We saw it last week.
- Who's got a nice garden?
375
00:22:28,869 --> 00:22:30,861
Jackie fucking McIlvenny!
376
00:22:37,861 --> 00:22:42,458
- Awww... - Oh, Danny, he didn't mean to
shout, luv.
377
00:22:42,466 --> 00:22:43,356
No mum...
378
00:22:45,756 --> 00:22:47,000
Jenny's pregnant!
379
00:22:50,855 --> 00:22:53,801
- Ar... are you sure?
- She just rang me and told me.
380
00:22:53,910 --> 00:23:00,100
5 minutes before a funeral. As one life
ends, another begins. - Mum, not now.
381
00:23:00,148 --> 00:23:05,125
- What did he say?
- Danny's girlfriend's pregnant.
382
00:23:05,845 --> 00:23:08,041
- Danny's got a girlfriend?
- And she's pregnant.
383
00:23:08,441 --> 00:23:11,438
- Oh, congratulations mate!
- No, I'm Charlie, that's Danny.
384
00:23:11,438 --> 00:23:16,005
Oh, sorry. Danny says you're going to
have a baby, Charlie!
385
00:23:16,135 --> 00:23:17,901
No, I'm Charlie, that's Danny.
386
00:23:17,931 --> 00:23:21,448
- You'll be a granddad, Warren.
- No I won't, he's not my son.
387
00:23:21,848 --> 00:23:24,725
I'm going to have another look at that
engine. - No you're not!
388
00:23:24,725 --> 00:23:28,588
You got us into this mess, so you will
ring the Roadside Recovery, apologize,
389
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:30,048
and get them to send another man out.
390
00:23:30,018 --> 00:23:33,925
You promised me we'd get to this
funeral. You promised! The amount of
391
00:23:33,929 --> 00:23:37,741
times, Warren, I stand by you, and the
one thing I want you to do for me, the
392
00:23:37,744 --> 00:23:40,208
one bloody thing and you've let me down.
393
00:23:40,308 --> 00:23:44,285
You're getting every single one of us to
that funeral, full stop!
394
00:23:47,905 --> 00:23:53,641
It's five to, Anne. It's too late, we've
missed it. I'm sorry, luv.
395
00:23:56,001 --> 00:23:57,038
Well, not necessarily.
396
00:24:03,630 --> 00:24:09,695
"Oh death, where is your victory?
Oh death, where is your sting?"
397
00:24:09,895 --> 00:24:16,891
"The sting of death is sin,
and the power of sin is the law."
398
00:24:17,291 --> 00:24:24,888
"But thanks be to God, who gives us the
victory through our Lord Jesus Christ"
399
00:24:28,088 --> 00:24:31,585
A fitting tribute. Thank you, Warren.
400
00:24:31,685 --> 00:24:34,981
Wanker!
Who's a wanker, eh?
401
00:24:36,581 --> 00:24:40,878
That was very good, luv. I'm just going
to have a quick word with Danny.
402
00:24:43,378 --> 00:24:45,800
That were a bit religious all that,
weren't it Warren? - I thought that.
403
00:24:45,816 --> 00:24:49,405
A bit heavy on the "God" stuff, wasn't
it? - Well, it is a funeral.
404
00:24:49,700 --> 00:24:52,168
Well, I didn't want to bloody read it
anyway. Anne asked me to.
405
00:24:52,178 --> 00:24:56,365
I'm just saying, she never went to
church a day in her life. - Well,
406
00:24:56,385 --> 00:24:59,762
when I do one at your funeral I'll tone
down the god stuff, how's that sound?
407
00:25:03,362 --> 00:25:06,358
I wish they'd hurry up, I'm bloody
freezing out here.
408
00:25:06,358 --> 00:25:11,525
- Do you want me coat?
- No, I'm alright. Thanks though, luv.
409
00:25:13,955 --> 00:25:17,952
I'm sorry about earlier, Liz. Its just,
well, I thought it would be just us two
410
00:25:17,992 --> 00:25:21,848
you know, on a beach in Jamaica,
renewing under the Caribbean sunset.
411
00:25:21,848 --> 00:25:25,345
Oh, oh that does sound nice, actually.
412
00:25:27,945 --> 00:25:31,042
Yeah, sod 'em. Let's go on our own, eh?
413
00:25:39,742 --> 00:25:43,838
- Ohhh, here we go again with the god
stuff. - Mum, shhhh, the coffin's going.
414
00:25:48,038 --> 00:25:54,335
Oh crikey, I'm going to need to take a
minute. - Aww dad, are you alright?
415
00:25:55,235 --> 00:25:57,732
Yeah I'm alright. I'm just bursting for
a pee!
416
00:26:00,332 --> 00:26:03,428
- Roadside Recovery man wants you.
- I'm not talking to that prat.
417
00:26:03,628 --> 00:26:05,525
Warren, don't you dare!
418
00:26:08,525 --> 00:26:11,522
- You all done?
- Yes mate.
419
00:26:11,522 --> 00:26:15,018
Looks like it overheated, probably
because of the heavy load. You'll have
420
00:26:15,058 --> 00:26:17,525
to lose some weight from the cabin
before you set off again.
421
00:26:17,565 --> 00:26:18,512
Alright.
422
00:26:21,992 --> 00:26:25,708
- Is it finished? - Yeah, mom just went
to speak to the vicar.
423
00:26:25,758 --> 00:26:29,245
- She wants to find out where he got his
shoes from. - Ah. How you doin'?
424
00:26:29,805 --> 00:26:32,802
Fine, yeah. Just a bit shocked, y'know?
425
00:26:32,802 --> 00:26:35,798
Yeah, I know. She was 89.
426
00:26:35,798 --> 00:26:38,795
I don't know how it happened.
427
00:26:38,795 --> 00:26:41,792
Oh Christ, you don't need me to explain
that to you as well, do you?
428
00:26:41,792 --> 00:26:46,688
- No... I'm so sorry, Warren.
- That's alright, mate.
429
00:26:46,788 --> 00:26:49,885
These things happen. Well, they seem to
up north, anyway.
430
00:26:50,085 --> 00:26:51,644
- How are we getting on?
- Yeah, its alright.
431
00:26:51,644 --> 00:26:53,202
Alright, thanks mum.
432
00:26:53,582 --> 00:26:55,978
Don't worry, luv, everything will be
fine, I promise.
433
00:26:56,078 --> 00:26:59,405
We'll chat more when we get home, okay?
Is the car fixed?
434
00:26:59,675 --> 00:27:02,672
Yeah, but the Roadside Recovery man says
we need to lose some weight out of it.
435
00:27:02,672 --> 00:27:08,669
- Oh. - Bill, do you fancy staying here
while we nip off to the wake?
436
00:27:08,669 --> 00:27:10,365
We'll only be a couple of hours, tops.
437
00:27:10,425 --> 00:27:14,662
No, I don't mind. Bring me back a plate
of sandwiches. - Yes mate.
438
00:27:14,682 --> 00:27:16,859
No Warren, don't be stupid! Dad, get in
the car.
439
00:27:16,879 --> 00:27:19,005
He didn't want to bloody go in the first
place.
440
00:27:19,025 --> 00:27:21,052
- No, I don't mind.
- No dad, it's fine.
441
00:27:21,352 --> 00:27:25,249
- You can take your paving slabs out.
- Anne, they cost me a fortune!
442
00:27:29,049 --> 00:27:31,145
Oh Christ, they're at it again!
443
00:27:31,165 --> 00:27:32,242
Don't look if you're that bothered.
444
00:27:32,262 --> 00:27:35,769
- Have you thought of any names, Danny?
- Mum, not now!
445
00:27:37,529 --> 00:27:38,735
- Oy, where's my change?
- Oh, yeah,
446
00:27:38,765 --> 00:27:40,232
- What's this?
- Your change.
447
00:27:40,332 --> 00:27:42,129
- You've won four quid!
- Oh, you...
448
00:27:42,929 --> 00:27:45,425
Sorry about this, Warren, I'm afraid I
need another wee.
449
00:27:45,525 --> 00:27:47,442
Absolutely no chance!
41196
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