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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,586 --> 00:00:01,884 God, I hate flying. 2 00:00:01,953 --> 00:00:03,265 You know if this plane goes down, 3 00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:04,359 the headline is gonna read: 4 00:00:04,429 --> 00:00:07,085 "ChaseDreams Comma Others Die in Plane Crash"? 5 00:00:07,158 --> 00:00:08,591 We are "Comma Others." 6 00:00:08,656 --> 00:00:10,076 Just need to see our pilots, 7 00:00:10,130 --> 00:00:12,920 and as long as they have salt and pepper hair, I am good. 8 00:00:12,975 --> 00:00:14,775 - Why? - Salt and pepper hair, 9 00:00:14,844 --> 00:00:17,579 it's experience, it's knowledge, it's miles. 10 00:00:17,647 --> 00:00:20,047 My ideal pilot is John Slattery. 11 00:00:20,116 --> 00:00:21,714 This isn't even a real flight, okay? 12 00:00:21,779 --> 00:00:24,269 We're just gonna be circling JFK for 90 minutes. 13 00:00:24,321 --> 00:00:26,954 Why couldn't Chase just release his album in a club? 14 00:00:27,023 --> 00:00:29,657 Um, because any idiot can release an album on land. 15 00:00:29,726 --> 00:00:31,826 Only truly bomb people do it in the air. 16 00:00:31,894 --> 00:00:34,695 Can we please not say "bomb" and "air" right now? 17 00:00:34,764 --> 00:00:37,198 Look, this is gonna be fun, okay? 18 00:00:37,266 --> 00:00:38,665 And we're not gonna die. 19 00:00:38,735 --> 00:00:41,068 When I say Chase, you say Dreams! 20 00:00:41,137 --> 00:00:42,236 - Chase! - ALL: Dreams! 21 00:00:42,304 --> 00:00:43,637 - Chase! - ALL: Dreams! 22 00:00:43,706 --> 00:00:45,396 [all screaming] 23 00:00:45,428 --> 00:00:47,217 - [chanting] Chase! Chase! Chase! - Okay. 24 00:00:47,295 --> 00:00:48,776 We might die. 25 00:00:48,845 --> 00:00:50,777 26 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:52,312 [kids screaming] 27 00:00:52,381 --> 00:00:55,082 Okay, welcome, everyone. 28 00:00:55,151 --> 00:00:56,350 And shut up. 29 00:00:56,418 --> 00:00:58,052 Love the excitement. 30 00:00:58,121 --> 00:00:59,619 Can't take the noise. 31 00:00:59,698 --> 00:01:03,464 Now, you're here because you're Chase's biggest fans. 32 00:01:03,524 --> 00:01:05,058 And because your parents are rich. 33 00:01:05,127 --> 00:01:07,227 Is ChaseDreams really on the plane? 34 00:01:07,295 --> 00:01:09,095 - Yes. - [crying] 35 00:01:09,164 --> 00:01:10,764 And for your superfans, 36 00:01:10,832 --> 00:01:12,365 it's not just Chase on the plane, 37 00:01:12,433 --> 00:01:13,900 but the whole Dream family. 38 00:01:13,969 --> 00:01:16,202 [all scream] 39 00:01:16,271 --> 00:01:17,436 I love you, Cary! 40 00:01:17,505 --> 00:01:19,405 I love you too. 41 00:01:19,474 --> 00:01:21,241 Okay, and remember, once the music starts... 42 00:01:21,309 --> 00:01:26,212 Hey, Cary, your hair is looking a lot less swooped. 43 00:01:26,281 --> 00:01:27,647 I know. Why didn't you tell me? 44 00:01:27,715 --> 00:01:29,482 I looked crazy. 45 00:01:29,550 --> 00:01:30,916 Well, I was trying to be supportive. 46 00:01:30,985 --> 00:01:32,718 Also it was really funny. 47 00:01:32,787 --> 00:01:34,820 You're the one that told me to ride the wave. 48 00:01:34,889 --> 00:01:36,255 I told you to use Chase. 49 00:01:36,324 --> 00:01:37,856 Not become him. 50 00:01:37,925 --> 00:01:39,825 Now, once we reach 30,000 feet, 51 00:01:39,894 --> 00:01:43,596 we will be streaming live on ChaseDreams.com. 52 00:01:43,665 --> 00:01:46,064 There are cameras all over the plane, 53 00:01:46,133 --> 00:01:47,866 except the bathrooms. 54 00:01:47,935 --> 00:01:50,736 Viewers will be able to watch any camera at any time. 55 00:01:50,805 --> 00:01:54,774 So if you need to yawn, burp, sneeze, fart, 56 00:01:54,842 --> 00:01:57,276 do it now and do it fast. 57 00:01:57,345 --> 00:01:58,411 [tiny fart] 58 00:01:58,479 --> 00:02:00,112 Excellent. 59 00:02:00,181 --> 00:02:03,315 Oh, um, here's a random question. 60 00:02:03,383 --> 00:02:06,685 Lance. Just such an idiot. 61 00:02:06,753 --> 00:02:08,386 Right? 62 00:02:08,455 --> 00:02:10,322 Um, sure? 63 00:02:10,390 --> 00:02:14,793 But he's, you know, he's kind of cool, as well. 64 00:02:14,861 --> 00:02:16,528 Oh, so you're getting back together with him. 65 00:02:16,596 --> 00:02:18,095 - No! - Yes. 66 00:02:18,164 --> 00:02:20,632 No. No. Never. 67 00:02:20,701 --> 00:02:22,801 I just... I think you should be nicer to him. 68 00:02:22,869 --> 00:02:24,636 Okay, Brooke. 69 00:02:24,705 --> 00:02:26,170 God I wish I had seen those pilots. 70 00:02:26,239 --> 00:02:28,740 Hey, Car. I know you're scared of flying, 71 00:02:28,809 --> 00:02:31,543 so I thought you might want to hold Helen for a little bit. 72 00:02:31,611 --> 00:02:33,010 You brought a pig on the plane? 73 00:02:33,079 --> 00:02:34,678 It's a therapy pig. I got it for you. 74 00:02:34,747 --> 00:02:36,549 Look, she's very calming. 75 00:02:36,612 --> 00:02:38,249 Unless you hold her the wrong way, and then she'll attack you 76 00:02:38,318 --> 00:02:39,783 in ways that you never thought were possible. 77 00:02:39,853 --> 00:02:42,153 Um, no thank you. 78 00:02:42,222 --> 00:02:45,723 Okay. I was just trying to help. 79 00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:48,025 Okay, folks, we are ten minutes out 80 00:02:48,094 --> 00:02:50,194 from hearing Chase's new album. 81 00:02:50,263 --> 00:02:51,295 [all scream] 82 00:02:51,364 --> 00:02:53,464 12 incredible songs. 83 00:02:53,532 --> 00:02:56,633 We are talking over 19 minutes of music. 84 00:02:56,702 --> 00:02:58,702 12? I thought he only had three songs. 85 00:02:58,771 --> 00:03:01,272 Uh-huh. And nine remixes. 86 00:03:02,441 --> 00:03:05,976 Hey, not to be a bummer, but, um... 87 00:03:06,044 --> 00:03:09,112 How are you doing with today? 88 00:03:09,181 --> 00:03:11,447 Oh, um, 89 00:03:11,516 --> 00:03:12,615 I'm okay. 90 00:03:12,684 --> 00:03:13,816 Sorry to bring it up. 91 00:03:13,886 --> 00:03:15,252 No. No, no. It's... 92 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,487 It's good. I mean, it's been almost a year 93 00:03:17,555 --> 00:03:18,521 and no one ever talks about Dad. 94 00:03:18,590 --> 00:03:20,223 Yeah, it sucks. 95 00:03:20,292 --> 00:03:21,925 I wonder if Chase's remembers it's his birthday. 96 00:03:21,994 --> 00:03:24,494 I'm sure Mom does. I hope she's doing okay. 97 00:03:24,562 --> 00:03:25,996 - Hi, guys! - Oh, God. 98 00:03:26,064 --> 00:03:28,698 Hey, how, uh, how you doing with today? 99 00:03:28,767 --> 00:03:30,066 I'm great. I'm great. 100 00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:32,640 This is such a big day for Chasey. And me. 101 00:03:32,710 --> 00:03:34,704 I'm wearing the first sample from my jewelry line. 102 00:03:34,773 --> 00:03:35,914 Oh, you have a jewelry line now? 103 00:03:35,992 --> 00:03:37,546 Yeah, yeah. The book was such a hit 104 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:39,208 that they're letting me move into apparel now. 105 00:03:39,277 --> 00:03:40,580 This is just a prototype. 106 00:03:40,635 --> 00:03:42,945 The real version will be four times bigger and heavier. 107 00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:44,947 Okay, I'm gonna go check on Chase. 108 00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:47,049 I'm wearing it on the livestream to get feedback 109 00:03:47,118 --> 00:03:49,118 from the marketplace. 110 00:03:49,186 --> 00:03:52,388 Yeah, wow, you... You're doing a lot. 111 00:03:52,457 --> 00:03:54,490 [rattling] 112 00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:57,627 Hey, kiddo. 113 00:03:57,695 --> 00:03:59,562 Just wanted to see how you're doing. 114 00:03:59,631 --> 00:04:00,830 Today. 115 00:04:00,899 --> 00:04:02,799 I guess I feel a little weird. 116 00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:04,266 Yeah, I figured. 117 00:04:04,335 --> 00:04:05,935 - Do you want to talk about it? - Sure. 118 00:04:06,003 --> 00:04:07,736 They put a bunch of filler in my lips 119 00:04:07,805 --> 00:04:10,672 to make them look kissable, and now I can't feel them. 120 00:04:12,342 --> 00:04:13,942 Oh. 121 00:04:14,010 --> 00:04:16,445 Okay, any last questions before we go live? 122 00:04:16,513 --> 00:04:18,079 Yeah, where's my mom? 123 00:04:18,148 --> 00:04:20,682 Oh, right. She arrived not very camera-ready, 124 00:04:20,751 --> 00:04:23,284 so Casandra will be your mom for this flight. 125 00:04:23,353 --> 00:04:24,352 Hello. 126 00:04:24,421 --> 00:04:25,687 That's an upgrade. 127 00:04:26,690 --> 00:04:29,257 God, Chase doesn't remember either. 128 00:04:29,326 --> 00:04:31,493 Oh, my God, that is so sad. 129 00:04:31,562 --> 00:04:33,094 I have said it once and I'll say it again, Cary. 130 00:04:33,163 --> 00:04:35,597 We are the only normal emotionally stable people 131 00:04:35,666 --> 00:04:36,832 in this family. 132 00:04:36,900 --> 00:04:38,599 - [rumbling] - Oh, God! 133 00:04:38,668 --> 00:04:40,435 - Oh, God. - Oh, my God. 134 00:04:40,503 --> 00:04:42,270 Come on, that was not even that bad. 135 00:04:42,339 --> 00:04:43,438 [sighs] 136 00:04:43,506 --> 00:04:45,173 - [beep] - Hey, guys. 137 00:04:45,241 --> 00:04:47,608 It's your captains speaking, Tiff and Amanda. 138 00:04:47,677 --> 00:04:49,135 Sorry about the turbulence, 139 00:04:49,198 --> 00:04:51,912 but from now on, we are expecting such a smooth ride. 140 00:04:51,982 --> 00:04:54,248 So relax and enjoy the flight. 141 00:04:54,317 --> 00:04:55,450 BOTH: Bye! 142 00:04:55,518 --> 00:04:56,951 Mm, no. 143 00:04:57,020 --> 00:05:00,588 Our pilot's name is Tiff? 144 00:05:00,656 --> 00:05:02,656 Oh, what, a woman can't be a pilot? 145 00:05:02,725 --> 00:05:03,924 - Okay. - Wow. 146 00:05:03,994 --> 00:05:05,593 Gay misogyny is real. 147 00:05:05,661 --> 00:05:07,996 No, a woman can be my pilot, all right? 148 00:05:08,064 --> 00:05:09,964 Meryl Streep can be my pilot. 149 00:05:10,033 --> 00:05:11,598 Viola Davis can be my pilot. 150 00:05:11,666 --> 00:05:13,812 You'd rather have Viola Davis, the actress, 151 00:05:13,898 --> 00:05:15,835 than than two actual pilots? 152 00:05:15,904 --> 00:05:18,005 - [beep] - Hey, guys. Sorry to bug. 153 00:05:18,073 --> 00:05:21,241 But we have now reached cruising altitude. 154 00:05:21,310 --> 00:05:23,843 So feel free to unbuckle and move about the cabin. 155 00:05:23,912 --> 00:05:25,312 BOTH: Bye! 156 00:05:25,381 --> 00:05:26,988 - I know you know what I mean. - No. 157 00:05:27,074 --> 00:05:28,148 No, I don't. 158 00:05:28,217 --> 00:05:30,550 They said "bye" at the same time. 159 00:05:30,619 --> 00:05:32,352 I love women. 160 00:05:32,421 --> 00:05:33,953 I think all pilots should be women, 161 00:05:34,023 --> 00:05:35,955 and I think all flight attendants should be... 162 00:05:36,025 --> 00:05:37,690 Yeah, well, we have to keep the phones... 163 00:05:37,759 --> 00:05:39,359 - Oh, shit. - What? 164 00:05:39,428 --> 00:05:41,328 This guy I used to sleep with by the airport. 165 00:05:41,397 --> 00:05:44,197 Oh, my God, he's coming. He's coming. 166 00:05:44,266 --> 00:05:46,265 [snoring] 167 00:05:47,709 --> 00:05:49,208 - [gags] - [beep] 168 00:05:49,293 --> 00:05:52,171 Okay, it's official. We are streaming live! 169 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:53,839 Say hi the world, guys! 170 00:05:53,908 --> 00:05:55,841 ALL: Hi! 171 00:05:55,910 --> 00:05:58,310 On behalf of ChaseDreams.com, 172 00:05:58,379 --> 00:06:01,313 welcome to the release of "Chase Manhattan," 173 00:06:01,382 --> 00:06:04,750 featuring "Stink," the number one song on iTunes 174 00:06:04,818 --> 00:06:06,285 for six weeks running. 175 00:06:06,354 --> 00:06:09,522 And now the man behind the music, 176 00:06:09,590 --> 00:06:11,524 ChaseDreams! 177 00:06:11,592 --> 00:06:13,092 [all screaming] 178 00:06:13,161 --> 00:06:16,362 [pop music playing] 179 00:06:16,431 --> 00:06:18,564 180 00:06:18,632 --> 00:06:20,699 ChaseDreams! 181 00:06:20,768 --> 00:06:25,437 182 00:06:25,505 --> 00:06:27,205 Okay, calm down. 183 00:06:27,274 --> 00:06:29,775 Okay, thank you guys so much for being here. 184 00:06:29,843 --> 00:06:31,376 Today is a special day, because it is the release 185 00:06:31,445 --> 00:06:34,012 of my first album I ever got to make. 186 00:06:34,081 --> 00:06:35,881 [all scream] 187 00:06:35,950 --> 00:06:37,916 It's also special because today 188 00:06:37,985 --> 00:06:38,984 would have been my dad's birthday. 189 00:06:39,053 --> 00:06:40,518 ALL: Aww. 190 00:06:40,588 --> 00:06:42,754 He was the best, and I really miss him. 191 00:06:42,823 --> 00:06:44,590 He died of cancer. 192 00:06:44,658 --> 00:06:48,226 So in honor of him, I have a surprise. 193 00:06:48,295 --> 00:06:50,696 I'm gonna donate 10% of my album sales 194 00:06:50,764 --> 00:06:52,797 to the American Cancer Society! 195 00:06:52,865 --> 00:06:56,276 - [all scream] - [music playing] 196 00:06:56,335 --> 00:06:58,668 BOTH: Oh, fuck. 197 00:07:01,145 --> 00:07:02,678 What are we doing? 198 00:07:02,746 --> 00:07:03,945 There are no cameras in here. 199 00:07:04,014 --> 00:07:05,814 I don't think there's any AC either. 200 00:07:05,885 --> 00:07:07,516 God, Cary, focus. 201 00:07:07,585 --> 00:07:09,552 Chase just told the whole world that Dad died of cancer. 202 00:07:09,620 --> 00:07:11,720 Mom needs to tell him the truth before someone else does. 203 00:07:11,789 --> 00:07:13,622 I know. You should talk to her. 204 00:07:13,691 --> 00:07:14,956 What? Why me? 205 00:07:15,025 --> 00:07:17,193 Because you're Chase's assistant now. 206 00:07:17,261 --> 00:07:18,694 So? I mean, you are way better at having 207 00:07:18,762 --> 00:07:20,196 difficult conversations with Mom. 208 00:07:20,264 --> 00:07:21,697 Remember when you told her you were gay? 209 00:07:21,765 --> 00:07:23,265 You told her I was gay. 210 00:07:23,334 --> 00:07:25,934 I mean, who can remember who told what when? 211 00:07:26,003 --> 00:07:27,102 She found weed in your purse 212 00:07:27,171 --> 00:07:28,536 so you said "Cary's gay." 213 00:07:28,605 --> 00:07:30,238 [laughs] That's right. 214 00:07:30,307 --> 00:07:32,074 Well, in that case, it's your turn. 215 00:07:32,142 --> 00:07:35,376 [pop music playing] 216 00:07:35,445 --> 00:07:38,680 217 00:07:38,749 --> 00:07:40,281 - Hey, Mom? - Hey. 218 00:07:40,350 --> 00:07:41,482 Can I talk to you in the bathroom for a sec? 219 00:07:41,551 --> 00:07:42,617 Sure. 220 00:07:44,988 --> 00:07:46,654 Okay, if you guys liked that song, 221 00:07:46,724 --> 00:07:48,056 you're gonna love this next one, 222 00:07:48,125 --> 00:07:50,458 'cause it's the same plus horns. 223 00:07:50,527 --> 00:07:52,327 [all scream] 224 00:07:52,395 --> 00:07:54,395 [brassy pop music playing] 225 00:07:54,464 --> 00:07:55,997 How do people have sex in these things? 226 00:07:56,066 --> 00:07:58,100 - They're so small. - Ooh, Mom, gross. 227 00:07:58,175 --> 00:07:59,534 How are you not freaking out right now? 228 00:07:59,559 --> 00:08:00,768 About what? 229 00:08:00,846 --> 00:08:03,263 Chase just made his entire album about cancer, 230 00:08:03,332 --> 00:08:05,466 and he did not have a dad that died of cancer. 231 00:08:05,535 --> 00:08:07,001 So? It's still nice. 232 00:08:07,069 --> 00:08:08,603 What are you saying, you don't want your brother 233 00:08:08,671 --> 00:08:10,705 raising money for cancer? That's pretty low, Cary. 234 00:08:10,773 --> 00:08:13,541 No, I don't want my little brother labeled a liar. 235 00:08:13,610 --> 00:08:16,443 Well, no one knows the truth except for our family. 236 00:08:16,513 --> 00:08:17,612 Well, and the hospital. 237 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:19,046 And Lisa from down the street. 238 00:08:19,115 --> 00:08:20,481 She's the one who brought me the blow-dryer. 239 00:08:20,550 --> 00:08:21,983 Oh, my God, Mom. 240 00:08:22,051 --> 00:08:23,117 But it's not online anywhere. 241 00:08:23,185 --> 00:08:25,185 Even his obituary said cancer, 242 00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:26,954 so this can just be like our new family history. 243 00:08:27,023 --> 00:08:30,758 Mom, that's not fair to Chase. 244 00:08:30,827 --> 00:08:32,426 We'll deal with it later. 245 00:08:32,495 --> 00:08:34,294 I mean, he's only said "cancer" once. 246 00:08:34,363 --> 00:08:36,430 Okay, guys, I've got another surprise. 247 00:08:36,499 --> 00:08:38,432 This fall I'm going on tour, 248 00:08:38,501 --> 00:08:40,667 and 10% of the proceeds will also go 249 00:08:40,736 --> 00:08:42,536 to the American Cancer Society! 250 00:08:42,604 --> 00:08:46,106 [cheers and applause] 251 00:08:46,175 --> 00:08:47,941 Great idea, Chasey. 252 00:08:48,010 --> 00:08:50,877 You're doing it. You're fighting cancer. 253 00:08:50,946 --> 00:08:52,612 Hi, Shuli. 254 00:08:52,681 --> 00:08:54,714 Can I just talk to you in the bathroom for a second? 255 00:08:59,088 --> 00:09:00,987 Listen, is there any way we can tone down 256 00:09:01,057 --> 00:09:02,456 the whole cancer thing? 257 00:09:02,525 --> 00:09:04,858 Absolutely not. This is a PR goldmine. 258 00:09:04,927 --> 00:09:08,127 That's why we made sure every kid on this plane has cancer. 259 00:09:08,196 --> 00:09:09,728 - They do? - Wait, no, no, no. 260 00:09:09,797 --> 00:09:10,872 We ended up not doing that, 261 00:09:10,912 --> 00:09:13,068 because we didn't want them coughing over the "music." 262 00:09:13,162 --> 00:09:15,201 It's just that it feels like cancer's been done before. 263 00:09:15,270 --> 00:09:16,735 You know? And between you and me, 264 00:09:16,804 --> 00:09:18,271 I feel like if we were gonna solve cancer, 265 00:09:18,339 --> 00:09:19,338 we really would've by now. 266 00:09:19,407 --> 00:09:20,773 Trust me, Brooke. 267 00:09:20,841 --> 00:09:21,907 By the end of this blitz, 268 00:09:21,976 --> 00:09:23,809 Chase will own cancer. 269 00:09:23,878 --> 00:09:26,446 Okay, it's just... 270 00:09:26,514 --> 00:09:28,448 [tearfully] It is really hard 271 00:09:28,516 --> 00:09:30,516 for me 272 00:09:30,585 --> 00:09:32,385 to hear "cancer." 273 00:09:32,454 --> 00:09:33,786 Oh, Brooke, I'm sorry. 274 00:09:33,854 --> 00:09:36,189 - Mm-hmm. - Okay, if you're gonna cry, 275 00:09:36,257 --> 00:09:37,890 let's get it on the livestream. 276 00:09:40,528 --> 00:09:44,129 277 00:09:44,198 --> 00:09:46,065 Hey, hey, hey, Car. 278 00:09:46,133 --> 00:09:48,133 Can I talk to you in that bathroom for a second? 279 00:09:48,202 --> 00:09:49,802 Sure, yeah. 280 00:09:49,870 --> 00:09:51,003 Is everything okay? 281 00:09:51,072 --> 00:09:52,204 Oh, yeah, yeah. 282 00:09:52,272 --> 00:09:53,806 I just wanted to do one of these. 283 00:09:53,874 --> 00:09:56,875 So what are you guys talking about in here? 284 00:09:56,944 --> 00:09:58,477 You making fun of me? 285 00:09:58,545 --> 00:10:00,045 What? No, no. 286 00:10:00,114 --> 00:10:01,847 We're just dealing with a family issue, so... 287 00:10:01,916 --> 00:10:04,149 Oh, good. Then, come on, 288 00:10:04,218 --> 00:10:05,985 lay it on me, man. What's... what's the issue? 289 00:10:06,053 --> 00:10:07,686 All right, because I consider you guys family. 290 00:10:07,755 --> 00:10:09,321 You and Brooke are like grandparents to me. 291 00:10:09,389 --> 00:10:10,355 That's very nice, but we're just gonna 292 00:10:10,424 --> 00:10:11,690 handle this internally. 293 00:10:11,759 --> 00:10:13,125 Okay, you know what I think might help? 294 00:10:13,193 --> 00:10:14,459 Helen. 295 00:10:14,528 --> 00:10:16,327 I don't want to hold your pig. 296 00:10:16,395 --> 00:10:18,062 Okay, well, can you? 'Cause she's getting very heavy. 297 00:10:18,131 --> 00:10:20,662 Okay, guys, thanks to everyone who bought tickets 298 00:10:20,740 --> 00:10:21,896 to the raffle. 299 00:10:21,966 --> 00:10:23,901 All the proceeds are going to... 300 00:10:23,970 --> 00:10:25,236 Say it with me now: 301 00:10:25,304 --> 00:10:28,172 ALL: The American Cancer Society! 302 00:10:28,241 --> 00:10:30,474 [cheers and applause] 303 00:10:30,543 --> 00:10:32,343 Now the first prize is sick. 304 00:10:32,411 --> 00:10:33,544 God, it's hot. 305 00:10:33,613 --> 00:10:36,014 Where is Cary? 306 00:10:36,082 --> 00:10:37,715 Oh. Oh, my God. 307 00:10:37,784 --> 00:10:39,517 Oh, hi. [chuckles] 308 00:10:39,585 --> 00:10:41,052 This is embarrassing. 309 00:10:41,121 --> 00:10:42,720 How are you? 310 00:10:42,789 --> 00:10:44,622 I'm great, ma'am. Would you like a beverage? 311 00:10:44,691 --> 00:10:47,091 Ha ha! Very funny. 312 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:49,660 Uh, so no beverage then, ma'am? 313 00:10:49,728 --> 00:10:52,729 Are you joking? It's me. It's Brooke. 314 00:10:54,432 --> 00:10:56,232 Have we met before? 315 00:10:56,301 --> 00:10:58,935 Yeah, we used to hang out. 316 00:10:59,004 --> 00:11:00,737 At the motel. 317 00:11:00,806 --> 00:11:02,338 By JFK. 318 00:11:02,407 --> 00:11:04,307 - I don't... - I ate your butt. 319 00:11:04,376 --> 00:11:05,742 Oh, my God, sorry. 320 00:11:05,811 --> 00:11:07,544 Sorry, sorry. Sorry, sorry. 321 00:11:07,612 --> 00:11:09,412 Okay, guys, this next item is a chance to be a part 322 00:11:09,481 --> 00:11:10,847 of my next music video, 323 00:11:10,916 --> 00:11:12,716 'cause I'll think of you as I film it. 324 00:11:12,785 --> 00:11:15,986 [cheers and applause] 325 00:11:16,055 --> 00:11:18,139 Mom? 326 00:11:18,209 --> 00:11:21,006 Hi, Mom! You're having fun! 327 00:11:21,053 --> 00:11:23,693 [laughs] Can I talk to you in the bathroom for a second? 328 00:11:23,761 --> 00:11:25,228 [mouths] 329 00:11:25,297 --> 00:11:26,462 Mom, what are you doing out there? 330 00:11:26,531 --> 00:11:27,916 I thought Cary talked to you. 331 00:11:27,994 --> 00:11:29,010 Yeah, he did talk to me, and we both decided 332 00:11:29,088 --> 00:11:30,393 we're not gonna tell Chase the truth. 333 00:11:30,463 --> 00:11:32,435 Ugh, Mom. I know that you lied to Chase 334 00:11:32,504 --> 00:11:34,504 to protect him, but you could really hurt him. 335 00:11:34,573 --> 00:11:35,705 Well, if you two want him to know so bad, 336 00:11:35,773 --> 00:11:36,839 then why don't you tell him? 337 00:11:36,908 --> 00:11:38,608 Because I'm not his mom, Mom. 338 00:11:38,677 --> 00:11:41,463 Even though I basically have been for the last six months. 339 00:11:41,526 --> 00:11:42,635 Is it hot in here? 340 00:11:42,682 --> 00:11:44,380 Come on, don't change the subject. 341 00:11:44,449 --> 00:11:46,316 Okay, here's what we're gonna do. 342 00:11:46,384 --> 00:11:47,883 We're not gonna tell Chase. 343 00:11:47,952 --> 00:11:49,719 And starting tomorrow, my name's Roberta, 344 00:11:49,787 --> 00:11:52,622 you're Felicia, Cary's Dante, Chase is Miguel, 345 00:11:52,691 --> 00:11:54,424 we move to South America, we start over. 346 00:11:54,492 --> 00:11:56,259 What? No! 347 00:11:56,328 --> 00:11:58,293 That is... no. God. 348 00:11:58,362 --> 00:12:00,039 Also, Felicia? 349 00:12:00,117 --> 00:12:01,375 My brother's gay 350 00:12:01,461 --> 00:12:03,632 - Yes, gay, very fun. - And I'm here to say 351 00:12:03,701 --> 00:12:06,301 This song is about me. Yay. 352 00:12:06,370 --> 00:12:07,770 I love this. Hey, Shuli. 353 00:12:07,831 --> 00:12:09,063 Have you see Brooke? 354 00:12:09,125 --> 00:12:10,439 I think she's in the bathroom with your mom. 355 00:12:10,507 --> 00:12:12,541 Thanks, cutie. 356 00:12:12,610 --> 00:12:15,477 So Chase is still going very hard at the whole cancer thing. 357 00:12:15,546 --> 00:12:17,613 - Have you not told him? - No, she hasn't. 358 00:12:17,681 --> 00:12:19,448 How about this? We crash the plane. 359 00:12:19,516 --> 00:12:21,483 - Mom. - Not into a building, Cary. 360 00:12:21,552 --> 00:12:23,185 Into a field so only we die. 361 00:12:23,254 --> 00:12:24,854 - Mom, no. - Well, I don't see you two 362 00:12:24,922 --> 00:12:25,955 pitching any ideas. 363 00:12:26,023 --> 00:12:28,090 - [groans] - God, why is it so hot in here? 364 00:12:28,159 --> 00:12:29,458 - [beep] - Hi, you guys. 365 00:12:29,526 --> 00:12:31,126 Not sure if you noticed, 366 00:12:31,194 --> 00:12:33,762 but the AC has gone down, which sucks. 367 00:12:33,830 --> 00:12:35,865 We'll pass out some extra water, but yeah. 368 00:12:35,890 --> 00:12:37,242 BOTH: Sorry, guys! 369 00:12:37,267 --> 00:12:39,023 I'm just saying if John Slattery was our pilot, 370 00:12:39,101 --> 00:12:40,902 - there would be not an issue. - No. No. The AC has nothing to do 371 00:12:40,971 --> 00:12:42,491 with them. That is the grounds crew, 372 00:12:42,546 --> 00:12:44,105 and they are probably all men. 373 00:12:44,174 --> 00:12:46,162 Okay, I've decided. I'm not telling Chase. 374 00:12:46,217 --> 00:12:48,643 None of us are. That's my final answer. 375 00:12:48,711 --> 00:12:50,311 Why is this necklace so heavy? 376 00:12:50,380 --> 00:12:52,113 Remind me, they need to be smaller when we sell it. 377 00:12:52,182 --> 00:12:53,915 378 00:12:53,984 --> 00:12:56,789 Okay, guys, this next question from the livestream 379 00:12:56,852 --> 00:13:00,172 comes from a window manufacturer named Tad. 380 00:13:00,223 --> 00:13:03,057 Hey, listen, I tried to stay out of this, 381 00:13:03,126 --> 00:13:04,492 but your family has a secret. 382 00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:06,126 And I know what it is. 383 00:13:06,195 --> 00:13:09,529 It's shameful, and it's embarrassing. 384 00:13:09,598 --> 00:13:11,431 But it's time you guys came clean. 385 00:13:13,735 --> 00:13:15,502 You all have diarrhea. 386 00:13:15,570 --> 00:13:17,004 - What? - Yes. 387 00:13:17,072 --> 00:13:18,605 - That's our secret. - Yeah. 388 00:13:18,674 --> 00:13:20,207 - I have diarrhea. - Yes. 389 00:13:20,276 --> 00:13:21,842 I smelled it the second you stepped on the plane. 390 00:13:21,911 --> 00:13:24,377 I've been smelling shit this entire flight. 391 00:13:24,446 --> 00:13:25,692 Yeah, it has nothing to do 392 00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:26,966 with the pig you've been holding. 393 00:13:27,066 --> 00:13:29,325 - No. - [pig squeals] 394 00:13:29,372 --> 00:13:32,186 Dream family, I just wanna get your take on this. 395 00:13:32,254 --> 00:13:34,454 A couple people on the live stream are saying 396 00:13:34,523 --> 00:13:37,308 that Chase's dad didn't die of cancer. 397 00:13:38,308 --> 00:13:39,878 ALL: Um... 398 00:13:43,231 --> 00:13:44,933 Damn it. 399 00:13:45,028 --> 00:13:47,301 Mom, we need to tell Chase now. 400 00:13:47,348 --> 00:13:49,123 Do you really want him to find out from a livestream? 401 00:13:49,209 --> 00:13:51,109 It's probably those stupid nurses. 402 00:13:51,171 --> 00:13:53,237 Or Lisa's dumb fat son. 403 00:13:53,306 --> 00:13:55,291 Mom, we have to tell Shuli and Streeter too. 404 00:13:55,323 --> 00:13:56,688 They need to do damage control. 405 00:13:56,745 --> 00:13:58,557 Oh, why is it so hot in here? 406 00:13:58,625 --> 00:14:00,041 SHULI: Dubeks? What's going on in there? 407 00:14:00,119 --> 00:14:01,057 ALL: Nothing! 408 00:14:01,112 --> 00:14:02,698 STREETER: Give them a second; they have diarrhea. 409 00:14:02,745 --> 00:14:03,971 And they're all going together? 410 00:14:04,034 --> 00:14:05,120 - They're all going together. - Okay, I'm outta here. 411 00:14:05,167 --> 00:14:07,527 - Do you want me to go get Chase? - GIRL: I need to use the bathroom! 412 00:14:07,595 --> 00:14:08,799 BOTH: Use the other one. 413 00:14:08,854 --> 00:14:11,073 - It's full too! - Then kill yourself! 414 00:14:11,174 --> 00:14:12,257 - STREETER: Helen, no! - [pig squeals] 415 00:14:12,333 --> 00:14:13,832 - Mom, just tell him. - I can't breathe in here. 416 00:14:13,901 --> 00:14:15,088 I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe! 417 00:14:15,175 --> 00:14:16,909 I gotta get out of here. 418 00:14:16,970 --> 00:14:19,007 No, Mom, can you come back in this bathroom, please? 419 00:14:19,085 --> 00:14:20,225 No! I'm not going to. 420 00:14:20,249 --> 00:14:21,648 - It's just a play. - No! 421 00:14:21,673 --> 00:14:22,667 - We have to talk about this. - No! 422 00:14:22,692 --> 00:14:23,858 - Yes! - No! 423 00:14:23,927 --> 00:14:25,560 - Mom! - All right, fine! Fine! 424 00:14:25,628 --> 00:14:27,688 Everyone wants to know the truth about my husband? 425 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:29,122 Great. Here it is. 426 00:14:29,199 --> 00:14:30,907 He didn't die of cancer. 427 00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:32,540 He was a fucking alcoholic, 428 00:14:32,579 --> 00:14:34,321 and he froze to death on our roof. 429 00:14:34,347 --> 00:14:35,347 Mom, you... 430 00:14:35,371 --> 00:14:36,786 I wouldn't let him drink in front of Chase, 431 00:14:36,811 --> 00:14:38,019 so he climbed up to the roof 432 00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:39,724 and he blacked out and he froze to death. 433 00:14:39,771 --> 00:14:41,209 And I found him the next morning, 434 00:14:41,278 --> 00:14:42,344 and it was one of the worst things I've ever seen 435 00:14:42,412 --> 00:14:43,872 - in my entire life. - Mom. 436 00:14:43,958 --> 00:14:45,670 And since everyone is so desperate 437 00:14:45,704 --> 00:14:47,451 to know all the details of our family's life, 438 00:14:47,498 --> 00:14:48,513 how about this? 439 00:14:48,576 --> 00:14:50,131 He peed himself too. 440 00:14:50,194 --> 00:14:51,879 And since he blacked out on his stomach, 441 00:14:51,957 --> 00:14:54,157 his dick froze to our roof. 442 00:14:54,262 --> 00:14:56,568 That's right, everybody. That's right! 443 00:14:56,618 --> 00:15:01,120 My husband died with his dick frozen to the roof. 444 00:15:01,189 --> 00:15:03,022 And Lisa had to come over with the blow-dryer 445 00:15:03,091 --> 00:15:05,291 and help me thaw it off and we had to get an extension cord. 446 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:07,226 So, there. It's all out in the... 447 00:15:07,295 --> 00:15:08,595 Open 448 00:15:08,664 --> 00:15:09,863 Let's all have a laugh 449 00:15:09,932 --> 00:15:11,498 Let's all laugh at my 450 00:15:11,567 --> 00:15:12,531 Dead husband! 451 00:15:12,641 --> 00:15:15,001 Mom, no one's laughing. It's okay. 452 00:15:15,070 --> 00:15:16,369 He was the only man I ever loved. 453 00:15:16,438 --> 00:15:19,339 I did not want him to be a fucking joke. 454 00:15:19,407 --> 00:15:22,041 Mom, nobody thinks that he's a joke. No one. Okay? 455 00:15:22,110 --> 00:15:23,909 He was a good man. He was a great man. 456 00:15:23,978 --> 00:15:25,778 - I mean, not great. - Cary. 457 00:15:25,847 --> 00:15:27,412 He was doing the best that he could. 458 00:15:27,482 --> 00:15:29,949 He was born at a certain time 459 00:15:30,017 --> 00:15:31,139 in a certain place, 460 00:15:31,217 --> 00:15:34,568 and the gay stuff was very, very hard for him. 461 00:15:34,622 --> 00:15:38,824 But he was doing the best that he could do. 462 00:15:38,893 --> 00:15:41,360 - Do you understand? - I know. I know. 463 00:15:41,428 --> 00:15:43,696 And this is why I didn't want Chase to know. 464 00:15:43,764 --> 00:15:46,499 You two have so many shitty memories of him, 465 00:15:46,567 --> 00:15:48,968 and I just wanted Chase to have something different. 466 00:15:49,036 --> 00:15:50,268 I know... [stammers] 467 00:15:50,337 --> 00:15:51,756 We didn't know you were this sad. 468 00:15:51,819 --> 00:15:54,306 Yeah, we just thought that you were writing books and... 469 00:15:54,375 --> 00:15:57,576 - Doing molly and stuff. - Yeah, I know what you think. 470 00:15:57,645 --> 00:16:00,045 "Oh, there's Mom with her dumb little book." 471 00:16:00,114 --> 00:16:01,913 - I hear you laughing. - Well, that's what they do. 472 00:16:01,982 --> 00:16:03,448 You know, they laugh at people. 473 00:16:03,517 --> 00:16:05,117 They think we're all so dumb. 474 00:16:05,185 --> 00:16:06,451 Oh, my God. Shut up! 475 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:08,120 You're not a part of this family. 476 00:16:08,188 --> 00:16:09,754 And there it is. 477 00:16:09,823 --> 00:16:11,223 She finally admits it. 478 00:16:11,291 --> 00:16:13,258 I would've said that months ago. 479 00:16:13,327 --> 00:16:15,127 I just, I spent the last 30 years of my life 480 00:16:15,195 --> 00:16:16,561 taking care of an alcoholic. 481 00:16:16,630 --> 00:16:18,563 Am I not allowed to have a little fun? 482 00:16:18,632 --> 00:16:21,233 - No, you are. - You two come home for the holidays, 483 00:16:21,304 --> 00:16:22,743 you come home for the funeral, 484 00:16:22,836 --> 00:16:25,524 and you go back to New York City to your big fancy life, 485 00:16:25,594 --> 00:16:27,235 and you leave me there. 486 00:16:27,941 --> 00:16:29,641 You leave me there. 487 00:16:31,512 --> 00:16:33,744 I'm sorry, Mom. 488 00:16:33,812 --> 00:16:35,579 We just want you to be happy. 489 00:16:35,648 --> 00:16:38,416 Yeah, I mean, we like it when you write your books 490 00:16:38,484 --> 00:16:40,217 and make your necklaces. 491 00:16:40,286 --> 00:16:42,019 I hate this stupid necklace. 492 00:16:42,088 --> 00:16:44,255 It's so big and heavy. 493 00:16:44,323 --> 00:16:46,323 And why is there no AC in here? 494 00:16:46,392 --> 00:16:48,492 It's these stupid dumb bitch pilots. 495 00:16:48,561 --> 00:16:50,094 - [beep] - Hey, guys. 496 00:16:50,163 --> 00:16:51,595 We're also watching the feeds up here 497 00:16:51,664 --> 00:16:53,531 and really feel for your family, 498 00:16:53,599 --> 00:16:55,832 but I think you know the AC is not on us, 499 00:16:55,901 --> 00:16:57,834 and it's this kind of girl-on-girl sexism 500 00:16:57,903 --> 00:16:59,770 that makes it harder for women everywhere. 501 00:16:59,838 --> 00:17:01,238 BOTH: Okay, bye. 502 00:17:07,313 --> 00:17:09,046 I'm sorry, Chasey. 503 00:17:29,334 --> 00:17:31,702 This might be a bad time, but I remember now. 504 00:17:31,770 --> 00:17:33,570 You did eat my butt. 505 00:17:33,639 --> 00:17:35,739 Oh, no, thank you. 506 00:17:35,808 --> 00:17:37,340 It's actually the perfect time. 507 00:17:37,409 --> 00:17:39,142 Oh. 508 00:17:39,211 --> 00:17:40,243 Okay. 509 00:17:43,447 --> 00:17:45,047 Hey. 510 00:17:45,116 --> 00:17:47,917 I think now might be a good time for Helen. 511 00:17:49,286 --> 00:17:50,853 Yeah, fine. 512 00:17:50,922 --> 00:17:52,421 [pig squeals] 513 00:17:58,696 --> 00:18:01,797 Hey, sorry we ruined the livestream or... 514 00:18:01,866 --> 00:18:03,766 Yeah, sorry I yelled at you. 515 00:18:03,835 --> 00:18:04,957 No, it's okay. 516 00:18:04,996 --> 00:18:07,870 You know, I know you guys think of me as a big joke. 517 00:18:07,939 --> 00:18:09,071 I see it. 518 00:18:09,140 --> 00:18:11,306 But to be honest, I know exactly 519 00:18:11,375 --> 00:18:13,843 where you guys are at right now, I really do. 520 00:18:13,911 --> 00:18:16,512 My dad, uh, 521 00:18:16,580 --> 00:18:17,779 froze on a bench. 522 00:18:19,816 --> 00:18:22,183 - What's that? - Yeah. 523 00:18:22,252 --> 00:18:23,352 I don't like to talk about it, 524 00:18:23,422 --> 00:18:25,820 but, um, my dad was an alcoholic too, 525 00:18:25,889 --> 00:18:29,490 and, uh, when I was 18, he... 526 00:18:29,559 --> 00:18:31,026 Went for a drink in the park 527 00:18:31,094 --> 00:18:33,427 and he fell asleep. 528 00:18:33,496 --> 00:18:36,931 And then he froze on a bench. 529 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,900 - [sobbing] - Oh, my God. 530 00:18:38,969 --> 00:18:41,002 I mean, we had no idea. 531 00:18:42,072 --> 00:18:44,472 My... my dad froze too. 532 00:18:45,976 --> 00:18:47,809 It was before I was born. 533 00:18:47,878 --> 00:18:49,377 He drank all the time. 534 00:18:49,445 --> 00:18:54,915 And one night he went ice fishing 535 00:18:54,984 --> 00:18:56,617 and he froze. 536 00:18:56,686 --> 00:18:59,053 He was so cold. 537 00:18:59,121 --> 00:19:01,222 But anyway... 538 00:19:01,291 --> 00:19:02,690 Hey, hey, hey. 539 00:19:02,758 --> 00:19:04,225 You guys are not gonna believe this. 540 00:19:04,294 --> 00:19:06,126 People on the livestream are all sharing stories 541 00:19:06,196 --> 00:19:07,562 about their dads freezing. 542 00:19:07,630 --> 00:19:09,297 Yeah, hundreds of people. 543 00:19:09,365 --> 00:19:12,366 The hashtag #mydadfroze is trending across America. 544 00:19:12,435 --> 00:19:13,734 Well, mostly in the Midwest 545 00:19:13,803 --> 00:19:16,370 and specifically a Brainerd, Minnesota. 546 00:19:16,439 --> 00:19:17,905 Oh, my God, that's so sad. 547 00:19:17,973 --> 00:19:19,373 No, this is great. 548 00:19:19,442 --> 00:19:21,242 Everyone talks about cancer, 549 00:19:21,311 --> 00:19:23,377 but no one talks about alcohol abuse 550 00:19:23,446 --> 00:19:25,278 or dicks freezing to roofs. 551 00:19:25,347 --> 00:19:29,249 I mean, but your family has brought both issues to light. 552 00:19:29,318 --> 00:19:31,719 Oh, I guess... I guess that's good. 553 00:19:31,787 --> 00:19:34,487 In, like, a weird sick way. 554 00:19:40,796 --> 00:19:44,431 Okay, so, Chase and I had a nice talk, 555 00:19:44,499 --> 00:19:47,500 and we decided that he's gonna take a month off. 556 00:19:47,569 --> 00:19:50,570 No album press, no tours, nothing. 557 00:19:50,639 --> 00:19:52,940 And I don't care what anybody says, I'm his mother, 558 00:19:53,008 --> 00:19:54,007 and I'm putting my foot down. 559 00:19:54,076 --> 00:19:55,493 - Okay. - Great. 560 00:19:55,573 --> 00:19:57,606 - Yeah, I mean, definitely. - Oh, my God. 561 00:19:57,652 --> 00:20:00,286 Okay, I just got the craziest email. 562 00:20:00,370 --> 00:20:02,903 They want Chase to perform at the VMAs! 563 00:20:02,965 --> 00:20:05,055 [cheers and applause] 564 00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:06,610 Wait, like, the actual VMAs? 565 00:20:06,665 --> 00:20:08,782 - Whoa, that's huge. - I know. 566 00:20:08,852 --> 00:20:10,423 I mean, this is gonna change everything. 567 00:20:10,492 --> 00:20:13,960 - Well, when are they? - Two weeks. 568 00:20:14,028 --> 00:20:15,695 Uh, okay, instead of a month, 569 00:20:15,764 --> 00:20:18,045 Chase will take two weeks off, but no less. 570 00:20:18,092 --> 00:20:19,201 I totally hear you, but he needs 571 00:20:19,247 --> 00:20:20,547 to start rehearsals Thursday. 572 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:21,766 Okay, he'll take five days off. 573 00:20:21,818 --> 00:20:23,185 And he has a fitting tomorrow. 574 00:20:23,246 --> 00:20:24,451 Okay, he'll go to bed early tonight. 575 00:20:24,521 --> 00:20:26,046 But I mean it, no screens. I'm serious. 576 00:20:26,108 --> 00:20:27,974 Straight to bed. Are you excited? 577 00:20:28,176 --> 00:20:29,876 - Yeah. - I know, me too. 578 00:20:29,944 --> 00:20:31,877 Wait, what are the VMAs exactly? 579 00:20:34,146 --> 00:20:36,661 Oh, hey, so Brooke told me about your dad. 580 00:20:36,763 --> 00:20:38,597 I'm so sorry, Streeter. 581 00:20:38,665 --> 00:20:40,168 - Oh, that was a lie. - What? 582 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,644 Yeah, my dad's alive. 583 00:20:41,707 --> 00:20:43,869 I just said he froze to help you guys out. 584 00:20:43,937 --> 00:20:45,904 You know, turn a meltdown into a movement. 585 00:20:45,973 --> 00:20:47,406 - Wow. - Yeah. 586 00:20:47,475 --> 00:20:49,408 - Well, thank you. - Eh. 587 00:20:49,477 --> 00:20:51,818 You are one smart man, Streeter. 588 00:20:51,888 --> 00:20:53,278 You know what, I am really smart. 589 00:20:53,347 --> 00:20:55,599 Also, I got you this Imodium for your diarrhea. 590 00:20:55,654 --> 00:20:57,239 Oh, thank you. 591 00:20:57,279 --> 00:20:58,927 Yep, I am a very smart... 592 00:20:58,998 --> 00:21:00,061 - [pig squeals] - Oh, Helen, no! 593 00:21:00,124 --> 00:21:01,824 So let me know what you think, marketplace. 594 00:21:01,892 --> 00:21:03,546 It's also gonna come in a turquoise, 595 00:21:03,593 --> 00:21:05,358 and we got in chocolate brown. 596 00:21:05,405 --> 00:21:07,972 Also, we're thinking of expanding it to fanny packs, 597 00:21:08,041 --> 00:21:09,999 but we call them "Fanny Pat's." 598 00:21:10,077 --> 00:21:11,483 Isn't that cute, marketplace? 599 00:21:11,513 --> 00:21:12,678 - Hey, Mom? - Hey. 600 00:21:12,731 --> 00:21:13,780 Can I talk to you in the bathroom 601 00:21:13,805 --> 00:21:14,725 - for a sec? - Sure. 602 00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:17,734 - Like a... [racing car sound] - Yeah. [laughing] 603 00:21:20,391 --> 00:21:22,025 Hey guys, this is the Other Show. 604 00:21:22,026 --> 00:21:23,976 - I'm Chris and this is? - Sarah, hi. 605 00:21:24,022 --> 00:21:26,263 And we're here to talk about episode nine which is 606 00:21:26,264 --> 00:21:28,598 - pretty dark, yeah. - Jason drops his first album. 607 00:21:28,599 --> 00:21:30,367 Jason drops his first album. 608 00:21:30,368 --> 00:21:32,703 - It's the plain bottle episode. - Yes. 609 00:21:32,704 --> 00:21:34,546 We're here with Drew and Helene and Molly Shannon. 610 00:21:34,571 --> 00:21:36,940 - Whoo! Molly Shannon! - Yeah. 611 00:21:36,941 --> 00:21:38,976 I know you get a full name at all times. 612 00:21:38,977 --> 00:21:40,610 You know if this plane goes down, 613 00:21:40,611 --> 00:21:41,640 the headline's gonna read, 614 00:21:41,665 --> 00:21:44,448 Chase Dreams comma others die in plane crash. 615 00:21:44,449 --> 00:21:45,983 We are comma others. 616 00:21:45,984 --> 00:21:47,584 - Well, first of all... - Yeah. 617 00:21:47,585 --> 00:21:49,052 If we were on a plane, it would say 618 00:21:49,053 --> 00:21:50,988 Molly Shannon comma others die in plane crash. 619 00:21:50,989 --> 00:21:51,823 [laughing] 620 00:21:51,824 --> 00:21:53,323 Without question. 621 00:21:53,324 --> 00:21:55,592 The example that we had in the show that we cut 622 00:21:55,593 --> 00:21:59,296 was if Oprah and Beyonc?, this is morbid, 623 00:21:59,297 --> 00:22:00,582 but were on the same flight that crashed, 624 00:22:00,607 --> 00:22:01,899 - Jesus. - CHRIS: Who would get top billing? 625 00:22:01,900 --> 00:22:03,233 I think Oprah. 626 00:22:03,234 --> 00:22:04,238 I think Oprah, too. 627 00:22:04,263 --> 00:22:07,201 But what if it was the day after Formation came out? 628 00:22:07,226 --> 00:22:09,387 - Ooh. - That's tough. 629 00:22:09,412 --> 00:22:10,920 Wait, somebody in the writer's room said 630 00:22:10,945 --> 00:22:12,012 that they would put out two different editions 631 00:22:12,037 --> 00:22:13,887 - of the paper that day. - Yeah. [laughing] 632 00:22:13,912 --> 00:22:15,613 Like collector's editions where you'd get to choose 633 00:22:15,638 --> 00:22:17,176 - whose your top billing. - Yeah, yeah. 634 00:22:17,201 --> 00:22:19,082 Can Oprah die? 635 00:22:19,083 --> 00:22:20,811 - Oh. [laughing] - That's a good question. 636 00:22:20,836 --> 00:22:23,687 - Chase! Chase! - Chase! Chase! 637 00:22:23,688 --> 00:22:24,725 [screaming] 638 00:22:24,750 --> 00:22:26,290 So we shot this episode for four days, 639 00:22:26,291 --> 00:22:28,959 and we had a bunch of kids on the plane 640 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:31,428 but not all kids could come for all four days. 641 00:22:31,429 --> 00:22:33,330 They were only allowed to I guess to legally work 642 00:22:33,331 --> 00:22:34,631 for two days, or something. 643 00:22:34,632 --> 00:22:37,167 So they hired only twins. 644 00:22:37,168 --> 00:22:38,806 - Only identical twins. - CHRIS: So everybody on the plane 645 00:22:38,830 --> 00:22:40,304 is an identical twin, 646 00:22:40,305 --> 00:22:43,133 So in acts one and two, it's one twin 647 00:22:43,158 --> 00:22:45,208 and then in act three, where you start screaming, 648 00:22:45,209 --> 00:22:46,376 it's their twin. 649 00:22:46,377 --> 00:22:47,878 Whoa. 650 00:22:47,879 --> 00:22:49,546 That's crazy cause we got to there we were like, 651 00:22:49,547 --> 00:22:52,883 hi, like we knew them and they were like, "hi". 652 00:22:52,884 --> 00:22:54,117 One twin is gonna be like, I don't know, 653 00:22:54,118 --> 00:22:55,385 it's like a fun party and the other one 654 00:22:55,386 --> 00:22:56,887 is gonna be like, are you sure? 655 00:22:56,888 --> 00:23:00,557 This woman was just screaming about her husband's dick. 656 00:23:00,558 --> 00:23:02,559 Is this the same show? 657 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,687 So you what I think might help? 658 00:23:04,712 --> 00:23:05,812 - Helen. - [pig screaming] 659 00:23:05,837 --> 00:23:06,922 I don't want to hold your pig. 660 00:23:06,947 --> 00:23:09,109 Okay well can you, because she's getting really heavy? 661 00:23:09,134 --> 00:23:11,868 As soon as I held Helen, it screamed. 662 00:23:11,869 --> 00:23:14,738 It could just tell I had bad energy maybe. 663 00:23:14,739 --> 00:23:17,174 Ken was kind of like, the Helen whisperer. 664 00:23:17,175 --> 00:23:18,344 - And Kate was like... - Yeah. 665 00:23:18,369 --> 00:23:20,000 Putty in his hands and then the hand off 666 00:23:20,025 --> 00:23:22,100 would happen and the screaming would begin. 667 00:23:22,125 --> 00:23:23,172 [laughing] 668 00:23:23,197 --> 00:23:25,248 The pig was very happy, very well taken care of. 669 00:23:25,249 --> 00:23:26,899 - Yes, it was. - Yes of course. 670 00:23:26,924 --> 00:23:28,685 And the pig's owner was really nice. 671 00:23:28,686 --> 00:23:30,520 I got, I became very friendly with her. 672 00:23:30,521 --> 00:23:32,389 - Yeah. - We texted one another. 673 00:23:32,390 --> 00:23:34,825 We had one experience on SNL where we needed 674 00:23:34,826 --> 00:23:37,094 a squirrel, and this handler was like 675 00:23:37,095 --> 00:23:39,529 "Yes, I have a trained squirrel and we'll bring it to you. 676 00:23:39,530 --> 00:23:40,680 "The squirrel does what I say. 677 00:23:40,705 --> 00:23:42,719 - "It will do whatever you need." - And also, you really have to shoot at night 678 00:23:42,744 --> 00:23:45,016 because the squirrel is driving down from the capital. 679 00:23:45,041 --> 00:23:46,258 [laughing] 680 00:23:46,283 --> 00:23:48,005 So it was eight hours in a truck. 681 00:23:48,006 --> 00:23:50,707 Driven down, the squirrel was put on its mark, 682 00:23:50,708 --> 00:23:52,442 the camera started rolling, 683 00:23:52,443 --> 00:23:53,901 the squirrel immediately just 684 00:23:53,925 --> 00:23:55,878 - ran up into the rafters. - [laughing] 685 00:23:55,879 --> 00:23:58,048 And then the squirrel's trainer was like, 686 00:23:58,049 --> 00:24:00,350 "We just have to wait for it to come down." 687 00:24:00,351 --> 00:24:01,551 [laughing] 688 00:24:01,552 --> 00:24:03,536 She was like, "What do we do? 689 00:24:03,561 --> 00:24:04,606 "What should we do?" 690 00:24:04,631 --> 00:24:07,224 We were like, "I don't know what should we do?" 691 00:24:07,225 --> 00:24:09,593 [laughing] 692 00:24:09,594 --> 00:24:11,094 They were sort of like, "Well, you know with a squirrel, 693 00:24:11,095 --> 00:24:12,796 you know, you can train it, but you also just like, 694 00:24:12,797 --> 00:24:13,731 you actually can't." 695 00:24:13,732 --> 00:24:15,604 - [laughing] - You actually can't. 696 00:24:15,629 --> 00:24:17,276 It's a wild animal so it's gonna do what it wants. 697 00:24:17,301 --> 00:24:18,735 You can train it, but on the other hand, 698 00:24:18,736 --> 00:24:21,097 - you cannot train it. - [laughing] 699 00:24:21,122 --> 00:24:22,214 I'm not gonna tell Chase. 700 00:24:22,239 --> 00:24:23,940 And starting tomorrow, my name's Roberta, 701 00:24:23,941 --> 00:24:25,642 you're Felicia, Carrie's Dante, 702 00:24:25,643 --> 00:24:27,811 Chase is Miguel, we move to South America, 703 00:24:27,812 --> 00:24:29,246 - we start over. - What? 704 00:24:29,247 --> 00:24:31,815 I think my favorite scenes to shoot 705 00:24:31,816 --> 00:24:33,784 were the scenes that we went into the bathroom. 706 00:24:33,785 --> 00:24:36,320 So like watch Molly slowly disintegrate. 707 00:24:36,321 --> 00:24:37,621 CHRIS: Yeah. 708 00:24:37,622 --> 00:24:39,823 But we would do them out of order and stuff 709 00:24:39,824 --> 00:24:42,618 - and you're so amazing in it... - Yeah. 710 00:24:42,665 --> 00:24:44,995 And all of us falling apart at different times. 711 00:24:44,996 --> 00:24:47,064 But like watching you sort of like 712 00:24:47,065 --> 00:24:49,666 have the veneer come off is really awesome. 713 00:24:49,667 --> 00:24:51,535 That was a big chunk to memorize. 714 00:24:51,536 --> 00:24:53,670 And we were shooting, you know, in New York, 715 00:24:53,671 --> 00:24:56,740 and I stayed at a... I think it was a Hilton, 716 00:24:56,741 --> 00:24:58,175 to memorize my monologue. 717 00:24:58,176 --> 00:25:02,012 I went swimming and there was like a glass like window, 718 00:25:02,013 --> 00:25:04,181 so there was a prom going on while I was memorizing. 719 00:25:04,182 --> 00:25:06,016 So I was swimming, memorizing my lines, 720 00:25:06,017 --> 00:25:07,617 waiving to people like at a prom. 721 00:25:07,618 --> 00:25:08,761 - [Sarah] For real? - [laughing] 722 00:25:08,786 --> 00:25:09,847 - Dragging that scene. - [laughing] 723 00:25:09,872 --> 00:25:12,902 Molly Shannon is swimming and screaming to herself? 724 00:25:12,927 --> 00:25:14,331 And I swam for so long 'cause there was 725 00:25:14,356 --> 00:25:15,759 so much to memorize that when I got out 726 00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:17,194 I had a charley horse, and I was like, 727 00:25:17,195 --> 00:25:21,075 - I hope the prom people don't see me. - [laughing] 728 00:25:21,100 --> 00:25:22,856 I had to scoot up to the... 729 00:25:22,881 --> 00:25:24,167 That's going to be their prom story. 730 00:25:24,168 --> 00:25:25,369 They're gonna be like, at my prom 731 00:25:25,370 --> 00:25:27,037 I went to a dance and I saw Molly Shannon 732 00:25:27,038 --> 00:25:30,357 coming out of a pool, just like falling apart. 733 00:25:30,382 --> 00:25:31,771 So let's all have a laugh. 734 00:25:31,796 --> 00:25:34,211 Let's all laugh at my dead husband! 735 00:25:34,212 --> 00:25:36,380 Mom, no one's laughing. It's okay. 736 00:25:36,381 --> 00:25:38,115 He was the only man I ever loved. 737 00:25:38,116 --> 00:25:40,651 I did not want him to be a [bleep] joke. 738 00:25:40,652 --> 00:25:42,786 In the first episode, it says I miss Dad, 739 00:25:42,787 --> 00:25:43,987 and we were like yeah, and I know I did too. 740 00:25:43,988 --> 00:25:45,665 - But we didn't decide what that meant. - Yeah. 741 00:25:45,690 --> 00:25:47,524 It's so it was like fun to figure out in the room 742 00:25:47,548 --> 00:25:49,157 - what happened to him. - Yeah. 743 00:25:49,182 --> 00:25:51,488 We also went back through, kind of when we were 744 00:25:51,529 --> 00:25:53,630 towards the end, and added the year of yes 745 00:25:53,631 --> 00:25:55,065 for a line for Pat's character. 746 00:25:55,066 --> 00:25:57,134 That was kind of like a later in the game. 747 00:25:57,135 --> 00:25:59,295 Because we really liked this idea that she... 748 00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:02,005 We've seen her existing through this whole season 749 00:26:02,006 --> 00:26:04,341 kind of like repressing and making 750 00:26:04,342 --> 00:26:05,842 this new narrative for herself 751 00:26:05,843 --> 00:26:09,079 as like a gung ho woman going for it. 752 00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,248 And then in this episode where she finally 753 00:26:11,249 --> 00:26:14,084 let's that go the side, it's very satisfying 754 00:26:14,085 --> 00:26:16,219 to see that woman give it up. 755 00:26:16,220 --> 00:26:17,487 ALL: Yeah. 756 00:26:17,488 --> 00:26:19,189 I love the part where she's like 757 00:26:19,190 --> 00:26:21,224 where she just says, explains why she didn't want 758 00:26:21,225 --> 00:26:22,592 to tell Chase that she's just like, 759 00:26:22,593 --> 00:26:24,361 I just want him to have a chance. 760 00:26:24,362 --> 00:26:26,496 - It's like so heartbreaking. - Yeah. Yeah. 761 00:26:26,497 --> 00:26:28,832 And then I just loved how dignified she is with the way 762 00:26:28,833 --> 00:26:34,784 she sees him, how hard he did try and so respectful. 763 00:26:34,830 --> 00:26:37,107 And I guess being an Irish Catholic 764 00:26:37,108 --> 00:26:40,610 with a long history of alcoholics in my family 765 00:26:40,611 --> 00:26:43,363 I just felt like it was just fucking beautiful. 766 00:26:43,388 --> 00:26:45,015 Yeah, I didn't want to give a sheet or it to be a joke, 767 00:26:45,016 --> 00:26:46,616 - I didn't want like people to decide - No. 768 00:26:46,617 --> 00:26:48,949 - ...who he was for him. - A joke, that's horrible, yeah, no. 769 00:26:48,974 --> 00:26:52,756 It's also not so cut and dry, any of this. 770 00:26:52,757 --> 00:26:56,526 That alcoholism and anything is never just, 771 00:26:56,527 --> 00:27:00,097 he was a loser, he was a bad guy. 772 00:27:00,098 --> 00:27:01,111 It's never that cut and dry. 773 00:27:01,136 --> 00:27:03,800 So it's nice to tell multi sides to that story. 774 00:27:03,801 --> 00:27:05,939 Exactly, yeah, multiple sides to the story. 775 00:27:05,964 --> 00:27:08,960 I've never performed anything like that in my life. 776 00:27:08,985 --> 00:27:10,414 I love it. I loved it. 777 00:27:10,439 --> 00:27:11,742 It was like... [kissing sound] 778 00:27:11,743 --> 00:27:13,778 [techno music] 779 00:27:13,828 --> 00:27:18,378 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 56769

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