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1
00:00:02,741 --> 00:00:06,049
Oh, my God, I can't believe
the wedding is in ten days!
2
00:00:06,093 --> 00:00:08,312
[gasps] Oh, my God,
the wedding is in ten days.
3
00:00:08,356 --> 00:00:10,532
Babe, please, pick an emotion.
4
00:00:10,575 --> 00:00:12,621
It's just there's so much to do.
5
00:00:12,664 --> 00:00:15,189
Shannon, Ben? Would
one of you pick up
6
00:00:15,232 --> 00:00:16,842
the welcome bags
for the out-of-town guests?
7
00:00:16,886 --> 00:00:18,931
Well, sounds to me like
you're gonna need somebody
8
00:00:18,975 --> 00:00:21,238
very dependable
for that responsibility,
9
00:00:21,282 --> 00:00:23,240
so... [chuckles] Ben?
10
00:00:25,286 --> 00:00:27,418
I don't want to complain,
Clem, but Shannon is your
11
00:00:27,462 --> 00:00:30,204
maid of honor
and I'm just your bridesboy,
12
00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:32,597
yet I seem to be
doing everything.
13
00:00:32,641 --> 00:00:34,904
Come on,
that's not true.
14
00:00:34,947 --> 00:00:38,299
Look at this list. Ben, Ben,
Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben.
15
00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:40,127
There is only one place
I like hearing my name
16
00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:42,564
called out that many times,
and to put it politely,
17
00:00:42,607 --> 00:00:44,261
none of y'all would be there.
18
00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:50,267
Oh, Shannon, there is one thing
that you could do.
19
00:00:50,311 --> 00:00:53,096
I need somebody to help me
pick out a cute pair of sneakers
20
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:54,576
to change into
after the ceremony.
21
00:00:54,619 --> 00:00:56,839
Wow, Clem, you're gonna be
wearing those
22
00:00:56,882 --> 00:00:58,232
for most of your wedding.
23
00:00:58,275 --> 00:01:02,018
That is a huge thing
to trust me with.
24
00:01:06,196 --> 00:01:08,155
Fine. I'll do it.
25
00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:10,331
[sighs] Thank you.
26
00:01:10,374 --> 00:01:13,247
Okay, I'm just gonna have to
make this fun for myself.
27
00:01:13,290 --> 00:01:15,292
I'll find a store
with a hot salesman
28
00:01:15,336 --> 00:01:16,511
who has great
taste in shoes.
29
00:01:17,947 --> 00:01:19,644
Which will have to be Bloomie's
'cause I've already
30
00:01:19,688 --> 00:01:22,299
"tried on all the shoes"
at Barney's.
31
00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:26,303
So what do you need
sneakers for?
32
00:01:26,347 --> 00:01:28,262
I can't dance
all night in heels,
33
00:01:28,305 --> 00:01:30,351
even though our first dance
is just gonna be us
34
00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:34,224
swaying back and forth
like a lame eighth grade dance.
35
00:01:34,268 --> 00:01:35,704
Um...
36
00:01:35,747 --> 00:01:40,274
my eighth grade dance
was a straight-up grind fest.
37
00:01:40,317 --> 00:01:42,058
Besides, I thought you guys
were gonna salsa,
38
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:44,669
like in your favorite movie.
What happened?
39
00:01:44,713 --> 00:01:47,672
Nothing. We just decided,
as a couple,
40
00:01:47,716 --> 00:01:50,197
that Nick is uncomfortable
dancing in public.
41
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:51,937
I'm not uncomfortable.
42
00:01:51,981 --> 00:01:54,201
Look, I just don't
like the terror
43
00:01:54,244 --> 00:01:56,333
that it instills in every
part of my body, okay?
44
00:01:58,074 --> 00:01:59,293
I don't know what your issue is.
45
00:01:59,336 --> 00:02:00,990
You're a great dancer.Yes.
46
00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:02,426
Sure, here, with you
in the kitchen.
47
00:02:02,470 --> 00:02:06,387
I mean, I can do this--
ugh, ugh--
48
00:02:06,430 --> 00:02:07,649
all day long.
49
00:02:07,692 --> 00:02:12,132
You can, but the question is,
should you?
50
00:02:12,175 --> 00:02:14,743
How do we feel about
the sneakers at Nordstrom?
51
00:02:14,786 --> 00:02:16,962
'Cause I just remembered
I may have...
52
00:02:17,006 --> 00:02:19,313
tried on all the shoes
at Bloomie's, too.
53
00:02:21,315 --> 00:02:23,317
♪
54
00:02:28,322 --> 00:02:30,193
Hey, Nick.
55
00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:32,239
Can you do me a favor?What's up?
56
00:02:32,282 --> 00:02:34,937
[baby voice]: My sody's
all the way over there.
57
00:02:40,334 --> 00:02:41,335
Thank you.
58
00:02:49,343 --> 00:02:50,300
Respect.
59
00:02:52,433 --> 00:02:53,912
[knocking on door]
60
00:02:55,914 --> 00:02:57,264
Hey, Freddy.
How's it going?
61
00:02:57,307 --> 00:02:58,221
Where's Clem?
62
00:02:58,265 --> 00:03:00,310
I'm great, thank you for asking.
63
00:03:00,354 --> 00:03:04,445
Hey, Shannon. How's work?
64
00:03:04,488 --> 00:03:07,448
I'm in tenth grade.
65
00:03:07,491 --> 00:03:09,537
Hey, Dad.
66
00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:10,929
What do you want?
67
00:03:10,973 --> 00:03:13,410
Every time I show up,
you ask me what do I want,
68
00:03:13,454 --> 00:03:14,629
like you're not happy
to see me.
69
00:03:14,672 --> 00:03:17,284
So what do you want?
70
00:03:17,327 --> 00:03:21,026
I sort of need a favor.
There was an incident at work.
71
00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:23,028
We were investigating
a possible homicide
72
00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:24,334
out in Queens.
73
00:03:24,378 --> 00:03:26,815
Found a bag of heads, and, uh,
74
00:03:26,858 --> 00:03:29,861
we realized, yup, homicide.
75
00:03:29,905 --> 00:03:33,604
Whoa, you found a bag of heads?
76
00:03:33,648 --> 00:03:35,476
Yeah, what did I just say?
77
00:03:36,564 --> 00:03:38,479
Anyway, Clem...
78
00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:43,701
...the department classifies
that as "on-the-job trauma,"
79
00:03:43,745 --> 00:03:45,486
so they're making me
get counseling,
80
00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:48,315
and I figured since your future
mother-in-law is a shrink,
81
00:03:48,358 --> 00:03:50,142
I was hoping you could
ask her to...
82
00:03:50,186 --> 00:03:53,102
Uh-uh. No way. I am not
letting you use Rose
83
00:03:53,145 --> 00:03:54,886
for free counseling.I don't need Rose
84
00:03:54,930 --> 00:03:56,497
for free counseling.
85
00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:59,717
I just need her to sign a form
that says I had counseling.
86
00:03:59,761 --> 00:04:02,329
Oh...
87
00:04:02,372 --> 00:04:05,027
you just want Rose
to commit fraud.
88
00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:08,030
Why does your generation
have to label everything?
89
00:04:08,073 --> 00:04:09,510
I just want
90
00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:12,382
to deal with my psychological
stress in a normal way.
91
00:04:12,426 --> 00:04:15,994
You mean, glug, glug,
glug, glug, glug?
92
00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:18,519
No, more like
glug, glug, puff, puff,
93
00:04:18,562 --> 00:04:20,564
lady, lady,
glug, glug.
94
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,219
Forget it, Dad.
95
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,394
I'm not gonna let you
use Rose like that.
96
00:04:24,438 --> 00:04:25,613
Fine.
97
00:04:25,656 --> 00:04:29,356
Nick, my future son-in-law.
98
00:04:29,399 --> 00:04:31,445
How's it going, buddy?
99
00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:33,751
CLEM:
Don't fall for it, Nick!
100
00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:35,362
Freddy, there's
absolutely no way
101
00:04:35,405 --> 00:04:37,494
I'm helping you with my mother.
102
00:04:37,538 --> 00:04:39,322
But I'm fine, thanks for asking.
103
00:04:43,326 --> 00:04:46,198
So I guess the only thing
we haven't finalized
104
00:04:46,242 --> 00:04:49,419
is whether or not your father
will sing at the wedding.
105
00:04:49,463 --> 00:04:51,595
Rose, don't put
any pressure on them.
106
00:04:51,639 --> 00:04:53,597
You kids can decide later.
107
00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:56,557
♪ But considering
I'm a Broadway star... ♪
108
00:04:58,036 --> 00:05:00,212
You got to give
the people what they want.
109
00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:04,347
Ooh! You could sing
for our first dance.
110
00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:09,352
Do you know any songs
that are slow and boring?
111
00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:11,572
Do I? [chuckles]
112
00:05:13,487 --> 00:05:14,401
I remember
113
00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:16,359
our first dance.
114
00:05:16,403 --> 00:05:19,406
People said I couldn't do
The Worm in my gown. [chuckles]
115
00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:22,104
I proved them wrong.
116
00:05:22,147 --> 00:05:23,714
I wish I could've seen that.
117
00:05:23,758 --> 00:05:25,325
Oh, you will.Mm-hmm.
118
00:05:27,196 --> 00:05:30,808
Dad, I need your help.
119
00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:32,506
Clem wants to do
a big salsa number,
120
00:05:32,549 --> 00:05:36,379
okay, but I am freaked out about
doing it in front of a crowd.
121
00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:38,381
Son, you're great
in front of a crowd.
122
00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:39,556
You're a college professor.
123
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,253
You lecture to hundreds
of people a day.
124
00:05:41,297 --> 00:05:44,605
Yes, yes, I do, but
not on my tippy toes.
125
00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:47,390
Well, lucky for you, son,
I know a thing or two
126
00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:50,785
about public humiliation.
I was in Cats.
127
00:05:50,828 --> 00:05:52,787
Tell you what,
128
00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:55,050
I'll come over this week
and help you lose your fear.
129
00:05:55,093 --> 00:05:57,748
You really think it'll work?
'Cause I want to surprise Clem.
130
00:05:57,792 --> 00:05:59,881
I know it will.
Wear comfortable shoes,
131
00:05:59,924 --> 00:06:02,797
eat a good breakfast,
and stretch beforehand.
132
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:07,018
♪ 'Cause your thighs
are gonna be on fire! ♪
133
00:06:08,672 --> 00:06:11,588
Thank you so much for picking up
the tablecloths tomorrow.
134
00:06:11,632 --> 00:06:12,763
I would do it myself,
135
00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:15,026
but I kind of sort of
can't drive.
136
00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:16,985
Wait, what? You can't drive?
137
00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:18,378
Mm-mm.You know what?
138
00:06:18,421 --> 00:06:20,597
I am not gonna judge you
right before your wedding,
139
00:06:20,641 --> 00:06:24,949
so I am simply gonna say,
"Hey, girl, that's not weird."
140
00:06:24,993 --> 00:06:26,473
I know.
141
00:06:26,516 --> 00:06:29,563
My dad promised that he would
teach me, but he never did.
142
00:06:29,606 --> 00:06:31,869
Something always got in the way,
143
00:06:31,913 --> 00:06:35,569
and that something
usually became my stepmom.
144
00:06:35,612 --> 00:06:38,223
Sweetheart,
I am really sorry
145
00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:40,617
Freddy broke all of
his promises to you.
146
00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:43,315
Yeah, he's the worst.
This morning,
147
00:06:43,359 --> 00:06:45,100
he told me that
the police department
148
00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:46,797
wants him to have therapy,
149
00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:49,626
and he asked me if you would
sign some form for him.
150
00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:52,107
[laughs]
Can you believe that?
151
00:06:52,150 --> 00:06:53,500
Send him to me.
152
00:06:53,543 --> 00:06:54,631
What?
153
00:06:54,675 --> 00:06:57,112
You heard me, baby,
send him to me.
154
00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,679
Rose, no.
155
00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:01,203
Just because he's my father,
you shouldn't feel obligated
156
00:07:01,246 --> 00:07:02,900
to help him
with one of his scams.
157
00:07:02,944 --> 00:07:05,599
Oh, I'm gonna help him,
all right, but not in the way
158
00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:07,905
he's expecting,
159
00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:09,472
and I'm not gonna
give him that signature
160
00:07:09,516 --> 00:07:11,735
until I see some
actual growth.
161
00:07:11,779 --> 00:07:14,346
Good luck.
The man can't even grow
162
00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:17,219
the pot plant
in his closet.
163
00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:18,786
Clem, you are
gonna thank me.
164
00:07:18,829 --> 00:07:21,310
Don't you want to be in a
better place with your father
165
00:07:21,353 --> 00:07:22,485
before the wedding?
166
00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:25,662
Well, I'm not currently
seething with hatred
167
00:07:25,706 --> 00:07:27,359
every waking moment
of the day,
168
00:07:27,403 --> 00:07:30,406
so we're kind of
at an all-time high.
169
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:33,801
But things are gonna
be better, you'll see.
170
00:07:33,844 --> 00:07:37,500
You just happen to be speaking
to the best damn therapist
171
00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:39,589
in the city of New York.
172
00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:43,245
[chuckles] You should
put that on your card.
173
00:07:43,288 --> 00:07:45,682
Oh, my God, you did.
174
00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:49,991
Thanks for
seeing me, Rose.
175
00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:51,688
Here's that form
for you to sign.
176
00:07:51,732 --> 00:07:54,735
And, uh, here's 20 bucks
for your trouble.
177
00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:56,650
That's a five.
178
00:07:58,086 --> 00:07:59,653
But thank you.
179
00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:02,525
Ooh, now let me find my pen.
180
00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:05,310
You know, I get so overwhelmed,
I lose things.
181
00:08:05,354 --> 00:08:07,051
Do you ever get
overwhelmed, Freddy?
182
00:08:07,095 --> 00:08:09,489
Nice try, Rose.
183
00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:12,753
Trying to trick me into talking
about my feelings.
184
00:08:12,796 --> 00:08:14,232
Well, it ain't gonna happen.
185
00:08:14,276 --> 00:08:18,672
Right, because real men
don't talk about their feelings.
186
00:08:18,715 --> 00:08:22,545
I understand. Most men
get that from their father.
187
00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:24,939
Not me. I never got anything
from my father,
188
00:08:24,982 --> 00:08:27,245
except for good hair
and dyslexia.
189
00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:31,336
There it is.
190
00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:34,731
And it is out of ink.
You know what?
191
00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:36,820
Freddy, why don't you
have a seat on the couch
192
00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:40,650
while I search
for another one.
193
00:08:40,694 --> 00:08:43,174
So your father was
a real jerk, huh?
194
00:08:43,218 --> 00:08:45,263
Eh, the louse
was never home anyway.
195
00:08:45,307 --> 00:08:47,570
Chef Boyardee was
the closest thing I had
196
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:50,312
to a male role model.
197
00:08:50,355 --> 00:08:53,228
Fat chef bastard.
198
00:08:53,271 --> 00:08:56,448
Well, it sounds like you had to
take care of yourself
199
00:08:56,492 --> 00:08:57,885
when you were a kid.
200
00:08:57,928 --> 00:09:00,801
Are you kidding? I had to do
everything for myself.
201
00:09:00,844 --> 00:09:04,500
One time I-- Do you mind
if I put my feet up?
202
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,067
Please.
203
00:09:16,947 --> 00:09:19,036
So Rose really thinks
she can fix our dad?
204
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:21,865
Doesn't she have better ways
to completely waste her time?
205
00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:26,087
Hey, my mom is the best damn
therapist in New York City.
206
00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:27,784
Oh, yeah, I've seen the card.
207
00:09:29,307 --> 00:09:31,919
But trust me, you do not want
to go inside that man's head.
208
00:09:31,962 --> 00:09:34,182
It's just a bunch
of lies, scams,
209
00:09:34,225 --> 00:09:37,098
and every line of dialogue from
Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo.
210
00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:40,536
[knocking on door]
211
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:45,062
Dad, what do you want?That was hurtful.
212
00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:49,414
But I do understand
why you said it.
213
00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:55,769
So, look, I was thinking,
when you were a kid,
214
00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:57,379
I promised to do some things
215
00:09:57,422 --> 00:09:59,773
that I never got
around to doing...
216
00:09:59,816 --> 00:10:02,732
which reminds me, you should
get vaccinated for measles.
217
00:10:02,776 --> 00:10:05,822
Yes, thank you,
I found that out the hard way.
218
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,783
Anyway, I was remembering,
you know,
219
00:10:09,826 --> 00:10:12,612
just, uh, going back
through my memories,
220
00:10:12,655 --> 00:10:16,050
on my own,
prompted by no one,
221
00:10:16,093 --> 00:10:18,487
that, uh, one of
those things was
222
00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:20,707
I never taught you
how to drive.
223
00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:23,666
So I was thinking maybe I could
take you out for a lesson.
224
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:26,103
Wait, you want to take me out
for a driving lesson?
225
00:10:26,147 --> 00:10:28,323
Yeah, why not?
Give us a chance to bond.
226
00:10:28,366 --> 00:10:33,110
Who-who is this guy?
227
00:10:33,154 --> 00:10:36,853
It's like the opposite
of a zombie movie.
228
00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:40,465
He got bit and
turned into a human.
229
00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:42,206
You know what, Dad,
230
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:43,686
that's actually
a really nice offer.
231
00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:45,035
Let's do it tomorrow.
232
00:10:45,079 --> 00:10:47,037
It'll be interesting
to have you teach me
233
00:10:47,081 --> 00:10:49,170
something legal, for once.
234
00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:51,694
Yeah.
I'm glad I stopped by.
235
00:10:51,738 --> 00:10:53,696
It's true what they say.
Good things happen
236
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:54,697
when you put yourself
out there.
237
00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:57,091
Have a nice day, everybody.
238
00:10:57,134 --> 00:10:58,658
Even you.
239
00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:04,707
Okay, now, son,
240
00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:07,318
if you can dance in front
of a teenage girl...
241
00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:10,887
...the most notoriously
judgmental creature
242
00:11:10,931 --> 00:11:11,888
on the Earth...
243
00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:15,718
...you can dance
at your wedding.
244
00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:17,198
Okay,
245
00:11:17,241 --> 00:11:20,201
Shannon, do you swear
to watch this dance rehearsal
246
00:11:20,244 --> 00:11:21,593
and heckle as needed?
247
00:11:21,637 --> 00:11:23,508
Walter, it would be my honor.
248
00:11:23,552 --> 00:11:26,120
Dad, I don't think
I can do this.
249
00:11:26,163 --> 00:11:28,165
It's one thing in the kitchen,
but here,
250
00:11:28,209 --> 00:11:30,907
under the bright lights
of the living room...
251
00:11:30,951 --> 00:11:31,952
too much pressure.
252
00:11:31,995 --> 00:11:33,997
You can do this, son.
253
00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:36,739
Shannon, are you ready
to insult?
254
00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:39,176
Literally always.
[chuckles]
255
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:41,613
And a five, six, seven, eight...
256
00:11:41,657 --> 00:11:44,486
You forgot one
through four, genius.
257
00:11:44,529 --> 00:11:45,792
Insult him, not me.
258
00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:49,360
[salsa music playing]
259
00:11:49,404 --> 00:11:51,406
♪
260
00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:55,540
Is this a Mets game?
'Cause you suck!
261
00:11:55,584 --> 00:11:57,194
♪
262
00:11:57,238 --> 00:11:59,675
What is this,
Bambi on ice?
263
00:12:01,808 --> 00:12:03,679
Power through, son.
Power through.
264
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,986
I'm dying slowly inside.
265
00:12:06,029 --> 00:12:08,292
So am I.
[laughs]
266
00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:15,430
Okay, you got your hands
at ten and two. That's great.
267
00:12:15,473 --> 00:12:18,520
Now, don't be afraid to give it
just a little more gas,
268
00:12:18,563 --> 00:12:21,741
aka, any gas at all.
269
00:12:21,784 --> 00:12:23,699
I'm just a little nervous.
270
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:27,137
Understood. But we were just
passed by a very plump beagle.
271
00:12:27,181 --> 00:12:31,925
Okay, did you just
slow down even more?
272
00:12:31,968 --> 00:12:33,927
This is a two-ton
killing machine.
273
00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:35,102
Well, so is that beagle,
274
00:12:35,145 --> 00:12:37,931
but he's got some pep
in his step.
275
00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:41,021
I'm sorry, Dad, but this is as
fast as I'm comfortable going.
276
00:12:41,064 --> 00:12:44,024
I get it.
Baby steps. Wait.
277
00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:47,027
Oh, my God, that's the guy.What guy?
278
00:12:47,070 --> 00:12:48,158
The guy that cut off
all the heads.
279
00:12:48,202 --> 00:12:49,420
Right there in the blue Kia.
Follow him!
280
00:12:49,464 --> 00:12:50,987
He's going too fast.
281
00:12:51,031 --> 00:12:52,815
Don't think, just drive.
282
00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:53,990
What happens if we catch him?
283
00:12:54,034 --> 00:12:55,296
We try to apprehend him.
284
00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:57,646
If he swings an axe
or anything, duck.
285
00:12:57,689 --> 00:12:59,866
Now step on it!
286
00:12:59,909 --> 00:13:01,215
[groans]
287
00:13:01,258 --> 00:13:04,000
♪
288
00:13:04,044 --> 00:13:05,001
[Shannon laughing]
289
00:13:05,045 --> 00:13:06,698
Finally.
290
00:13:06,742 --> 00:13:08,962
Actual proof that you're
a virgin.
291
00:13:09,005 --> 00:13:12,182
All right, all right, all right.
I am done!
292
00:13:12,226 --> 00:13:13,575
No more. No. No.
293
00:13:13,618 --> 00:13:15,882
No!
294
00:13:15,925 --> 00:13:18,536
You can't stop
in the middle of a salsa.
295
00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:21,452
That's how Charo tore her ACL.
296
00:13:21,496 --> 00:13:24,673
Nick, there is absolutely
no reason
297
00:13:24,716 --> 00:13:25,892
for you to be embarrassed.
298
00:13:25,935 --> 00:13:28,546
Nick, there absolutely is.
299
00:13:30,113 --> 00:13:32,637
Got some sneakers.
300
00:13:32,681 --> 00:13:35,684
Had an awkward run-in
with my ex-lover Sebastian.
301
00:13:35,727 --> 00:13:36,903
We're all good now.
302
00:13:36,946 --> 00:13:39,993
What happened to
the furniture?
303
00:13:40,036 --> 00:13:41,864
I swear to God, if you people
threw a party without me...
304
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:43,344
No, no, no. No, Ben,
there was no party.
305
00:13:43,387 --> 00:13:44,954
They're just trying to
help me get over my fear
306
00:13:44,998 --> 00:13:45,999
of dancing at the wedding.
307
00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:47,261
Which is useless.
308
00:13:47,304 --> 00:13:49,872
Okay? Just forget it.
I'm-I'm done.
309
00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:51,221
What? No.
310
00:13:51,265 --> 00:13:53,833
No. I may not be that good
of a maid of honor,
311
00:13:53,876 --> 00:13:55,791
but this means
a lot to Clem,
312
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,880
so I'm gonna help you
get through this.
313
00:13:57,924 --> 00:14:00,056
Even though when you dance,
314
00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:03,233
you look like a goat in
zero gravity, I'm sorry.
315
00:14:03,277 --> 00:14:05,540
Nicky, Nicky, this is
so easy to fix.
316
00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:07,150
Watch and learn.
Give me a beat, daddy.
317
00:14:08,804 --> 00:14:11,546
[dance music playing]
318
00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:19,815
How is this supposed to help?
319
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,251
You're even worse than Nick.
320
00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:22,687
I know, but I don't care.
321
00:14:22,731 --> 00:14:24,515
If you're having fun,
you're a great dancer,
322
00:14:24,559 --> 00:14:26,039
even if you're
a terrible dancer.
323
00:14:26,082 --> 00:14:29,433
I call it the "Ellen Theory."
324
00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:33,089
Come on, join me, Nicky.
325
00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:35,004
[sighs] Sure,
why the hell not?
326
00:14:35,048 --> 00:14:37,485
♪
327
00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:39,139
Dip me.
328
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,013
That's it, son.
You're free!
329
00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:46,015
[both grunting]
330
00:14:46,059 --> 00:14:48,061
♪
331
00:14:50,628 --> 00:14:52,021
I don't know if I can
keep up with him, Dad.
332
00:14:52,065 --> 00:14:53,370
He's going too fast.
333
00:14:53,414 --> 00:14:55,198
Of course he's going fast.
The fever's got him.
334
00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:57,592
He needs more heads,
and he needs 'em now.
335
00:14:57,635 --> 00:14:59,986
Oh, God, he's pulling over.
336
00:15:00,029 --> 00:15:04,338
And wait, he's...
337
00:15:04,381 --> 00:15:06,427
an old lady?
338
00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:09,125
What, only a man can be
a mass murderer?
339
00:15:09,169 --> 00:15:10,953
You know, it's that kind
of attitude
340
00:15:10,997 --> 00:15:13,608
that's holding women back.[sighs]
341
00:15:13,651 --> 00:15:16,045
She's not the
killer, is she?
342
00:15:16,089 --> 00:15:17,873
You were thinking too much.
343
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,266
I had to get you out
of your head.
344
00:15:19,309 --> 00:15:21,703
And it worked, didn't it?
You drove.
345
00:15:21,746 --> 00:15:23,748
Yeah, I did.
346
00:15:23,792 --> 00:15:26,186
Oh, my God, I drove!
347
00:15:26,229 --> 00:15:30,103
That's a pretty nice
father-daughter moment, huh?
348
00:15:30,146 --> 00:15:32,932
Yeah. It was.
349
00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:36,065
You know, you may want to, uh,
mention that to Rose.
350
00:15:36,109 --> 00:15:37,849
Why would I mention that--
351
00:15:37,893 --> 00:15:39,939
Oh. I get it.
352
00:15:39,982 --> 00:15:41,810
This is just so that
she'll sign your form.
353
00:15:41,853 --> 00:15:43,507
So what if it is?
I get what I want.
354
00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:45,205
You get what you want.
It's a win-win.
355
00:15:45,248 --> 00:15:48,077
What I want is
an actual father.
356
00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:50,123
I can't believe I fell
for this... again.
357
00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:51,298
I'm such an idiot.
358
00:15:51,341 --> 00:15:53,126
Oh, come on, sweetie,
you're not an idiot.
359
00:15:53,169 --> 00:15:54,649
You're just dyslexic.
360
00:15:57,260 --> 00:15:59,393
I need to stop hoping
that you're gonna change.
361
00:15:59,436 --> 00:16:01,177
Come on, Clem,
I'm your dad.
362
00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:05,094
Barely. You're just the guy
who had sex with my mom.
363
00:16:05,138 --> 00:16:06,966
And Shannon's mom,
and probably
364
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:08,619
a lot of other
people's moms.
365
00:16:08,663 --> 00:16:10,534
Clem!
366
00:16:10,578 --> 00:16:13,146
Clem, at least let me
drive you home!
367
00:16:13,189 --> 00:16:15,496
There really is a guy
chopping heads out there!
368
00:16:15,539 --> 00:16:18,803
We tell the public we have
leads; we have no leads!
369
00:16:27,116 --> 00:16:29,162
Oh. Hey, babe.Hey.
370
00:16:30,467 --> 00:16:32,165
How was your driving lesson
with Freddy?
371
00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:34,471
Well, it started off with
me thinking I was gonna
372
00:16:34,515 --> 00:16:37,170
get my head chopped off,
and ended with me wishing
373
00:16:37,213 --> 00:16:39,781
that I had my head
chopped off.
374
00:16:39,824 --> 00:16:41,565
You okay?
375
00:16:41,609 --> 00:16:43,306
I don't want to talk about it.
376
00:16:43,350 --> 00:16:46,222
The moral of the story is
people don't change.
377
00:16:46,266 --> 00:16:48,442
Well, the moral of
this story is,
378
00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:50,748
uh, yeah, they do.
379
00:16:56,189 --> 00:16:59,322
Oh, my God, Nick,
what's all this?
380
00:16:59,366 --> 00:17:00,323
[clears throat]
381
00:17:00,367 --> 00:17:03,674
Play dance mix.
382
00:17:03,718 --> 00:17:05,241
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Calling Dan Minsk.
383
00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:06,329
Damn it.
384
00:17:06,373 --> 00:17:09,115
[line ringing]
385
00:17:09,158 --> 00:17:10,812
Stop. Bad phone.
[stammers]
386
00:17:10,855 --> 00:17:13,162
DAN [over phone]:
Nick?
387
00:17:13,206 --> 00:17:15,121
Dan. Hey, man, uh,
it's been a long time.
388
00:17:15,164 --> 00:17:16,470
Long time.
389
00:17:16,513 --> 00:17:18,254
DAN: Let me guess.
Trying to play a dance mix?
390
00:17:18,298 --> 00:17:20,343
You got it. All right,
got to go, man. Bye.
391
00:17:20,387 --> 00:17:22,476
[laughs]
392
00:17:22,519 --> 00:17:25,522
I'll just do this
the old-fashioned way.
393
00:17:25,566 --> 00:17:28,351
[salsa music playing]Ooh.
394
00:17:29,918 --> 00:17:31,746
[laughs]
Ooh.
395
00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:34,488
[gasps] Oh.
396
00:17:34,531 --> 00:17:35,793
Nick?
397
00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:44,106
Nick, what is going on?
398
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:48,284
I'm transporting you
to Havana, Cuba.
399
00:17:49,764 --> 00:17:54,073
And giving you the wedding dance
that you've always dreamed of.
400
00:17:56,249 --> 00:17:57,293
Are you for real?
401
00:17:59,295 --> 00:18:01,950
May I have this dance...
402
00:18:01,993 --> 00:18:04,126
and every dance,
403
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:05,301
for the rest of our lives?
404
00:18:05,345 --> 00:18:06,824
Yes!
405
00:18:06,868 --> 00:18:08,174
[both laughing]
406
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,700
♪
407
00:18:12,743 --> 00:18:15,006
Oh, baby, look at these
dance moves.
408
00:18:15,050 --> 00:18:16,399
Ooh, en fuego.
409
00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:24,320
Are you sure you're
gonna be able to do this
410
00:18:24,364 --> 00:18:26,322
in front of 250 people?
411
00:18:26,366 --> 00:18:28,107
Well, I did it in
front of Shannon.
412
00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:29,151
Oh, well, then, you're good.
413
00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:30,413
Yeah.
414
00:18:37,812 --> 00:18:40,858
Shannon, I cannot believe
I'm going to say this,
415
00:18:40,902 --> 00:18:45,689
but thank you so much
for tormenting my fiancé.
416
00:18:45,733 --> 00:18:49,171
Anytime.
417
00:18:49,215 --> 00:18:50,607
Whether he wants it or not.
418
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:53,871
ROSE:
Clem, sweetheart,
419
00:18:53,915 --> 00:18:56,178
I am so sorry that
I was not able to make
420
00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:58,180
real progress
with your father.
421
00:18:58,224 --> 00:19:02,141
I was so sure that if he had a
genuine father-daughter moment,
422
00:19:02,184 --> 00:19:03,620
that he'd be hungry for more.
423
00:19:03,664 --> 00:19:06,188
Rose... [sighs] I hate
to say I told you so,
424
00:19:06,232 --> 00:19:10,149
but, as you know, I was
raised very poorly, so...
425
00:19:10,192 --> 00:19:11,976
I told you so.
426
00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:15,980
I just was so sure that
I could get through to him.
427
00:19:16,024 --> 00:19:19,506
Aw, heck, now I just got to
order new business cards
428
00:19:19,549 --> 00:19:22,987
that say, "One of the best
damn therapists in New York."
429
00:19:23,031 --> 00:19:25,076
[knocking on door]
430
00:19:27,688 --> 00:19:28,819
Hello, Clem.
431
00:19:28,863 --> 00:19:31,039
Dad. What do you want?
432
00:19:31,082 --> 00:19:35,086
Wow. Does not hurt less
with repetition.
433
00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:36,087
Hello, everybody.
434
00:19:36,131 --> 00:19:37,045
Hey.Hi, Dad.
435
00:19:37,088 --> 00:19:39,047
Hey, Freddy.Not you.
436
00:19:40,309 --> 00:19:44,095
Look, Clem, when you said
that thing in the car,
437
00:19:44,139 --> 00:19:46,185
it really made me think.
438
00:19:46,228 --> 00:19:50,493
I don't want to be just a guy
that had sex with your mom.
439
00:19:50,537 --> 00:19:52,147
And your mom.
440
00:19:54,062 --> 00:19:58,240
I want to be a dad...
who had sex with your mom.
441
00:19:58,284 --> 00:20:02,026
Well, it's not exactly
a Hallmark card,
442
00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:03,854
but it's not nothing.
443
00:20:03,898 --> 00:20:05,291
I mean it.
444
00:20:05,334 --> 00:20:07,641
In fact, I had such
a nice time with you,
445
00:20:07,684 --> 00:20:09,556
I-I started to think
maybe I should be
446
00:20:09,599 --> 00:20:11,645
in my daughters' lives
a little more.
447
00:20:11,688 --> 00:20:13,386
Booyah!
448
00:20:15,083 --> 00:20:19,130
Ha ha! I told youso.
449
00:20:19,174 --> 00:20:21,045
Hey, I deserve a little credit.
450
00:20:21,089 --> 00:20:23,439
I laid down the daughter guilt
pretty hard.
451
00:20:23,483 --> 00:20:26,225
Let us not forget about
the guy chopping heads.
452
00:20:26,268 --> 00:20:30,011
I mean, it all started
with him.
453
00:20:30,054 --> 00:20:34,189
Yeah, he's the real hero here.
454
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:38,237
If we ever catch him, I'm
gonna shake that man's hand.
455
00:20:40,064 --> 00:20:42,632
So, is this what families do?
456
00:20:42,676 --> 00:20:45,418
You all hang out
and stare at each other?
457
00:20:47,855 --> 00:20:50,814
How long do we sit here for?
458
00:20:50,858 --> 00:20:54,078
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
459
00:20:54,122 --> 00:20:57,125
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
33365
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