Original subtitles

you

[Music]

some women okay hundreds would argue

that I had it coming

all I know is that there's never a good

day for a man to lose his penis but this

was an especially bad one to lose mine

its clients and fashion sport and

entertainment I want to tap it

yeah what about Allison

exceptions at last call's help me out

excuse me sorry

what about inappropriate office emails

not only are they actionable it's the

dumbest form of harassment because

exchanges are recorded and retrievable

on the company servers I'm cured

make a nice little word like fondle

sound dirty guess when we grab a beer

after work sure I gotta cut out early

though Gracie's birthday

media coverage for the Sapphire Fashion

Show and and you know forget some

big-name clients there and in styles

gonna kick into the party

I represent male professional athletes

so if any of them come out of the closet

in the next 24 hours I'll give you a

call Vicky at Ryan's to see you what's

the temperature in there

you're not just warm enough right hey

you want to see me

holy hay just gonna end with me on the

couch biting down on a ball gag you find

human suffering the source of amusement

of course not you know I've always

wanted to ask you if it was worth it

playing ten years of pro football but

the concussions and the headaches and

the face masks this isn't about me Adam

I am the full control of my faculties in

fact I remember keenly when you were the

top earner here I still am uh no you are

not what are you talking about there's a

new leader in the clubhouse hey Alison

where's Jessica

yeah

what new girl

[Music]

Adam hey not really I'm sweating

something wicked yeah why I don't know

they because Gavin miles and his wife

run the way over here

gavin miles sell Young award-winner

represented by HRM Devon miles yeah he's

uh leaving hmm really yeah

Gavin's son goes to school with my kid

his wife liked what I'm saying about

sharp so great story how long the way

over are they on the way over oh they're

in the building Oh hummus on my tie huh

Jessica really quit why so use my office

huh no no no we need to close your

office all right look if we're gonna do

this we need to talk commission

splitting Commission doesn't really seem

fair no I wasn't asking your help in

signing him and why are you here

I don't know how maybe you could set me

up SEC yeah yeah do guys talk you up

anymore you're gonna take a dump on my

floor I'm just a little nervous

so what hey he's here you know what I'm

good

use my office no don't go 6040

really

hey deal hey guys what you mean Adam

Evanston HRM is gonna try to keep you

Marcus Hickman will squeeze the Gil

tendon but after he's finished Gavin I

want you to ask Marcus Hickman this why

am I only making ten million per year

when Adam Evanston over at sharp can get

me 20 20 well that's a good question I

mean it's a really good question right

thing I mean I think will be obscene to

be complaining about that kind of money

given the times we're in Gavin has six

charitable foundations more reason to

maximize earnings can't forget about the

kids hey did you guys bring your parking

ticket

you

my god

you

you

sorry I'm late not good enough

you

hmm well I think the world would be

better off if you are more like us

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

ten-thirty

what yeah wait who's talking okay I

gotta wake up thank grace grace grace

wake up oh yeah oh my god grace his

place not mine I am NOT a booty call

this couch is ruined grace look at my

clothes they're mine I mean they're

atoms did give you that line about how

hot you look in a men's dress shirt no I

just looked in the mirror I'm not hot

enough to sleep with me I would have to

throw me back brace look into my eyes

it's me grace wait Louie

hello guess who has a vagina where's

Adam something terrible has happened to

me I am a chick oh my god

right it's Adam there no where say I've

never miss a day of work in my life

wow that's admirable but uh what's

awesome me like you two are having sex

what no no you tell Adam to zip it up

and get his ass in here now okay deep

breath you're not losing your mind

you're not losing your mind

oh god you could be losing your mind yes

[Music]

you think you're Adam yes Adam Evans yes

you know what just just go with me here

for a second like you say I don't know

maybe a therapist who's Paige listen

you have to admit Chris is looking

pretty hot oh god that's weird

I believe you're having phantom wood

like when an amputee can still feel the

leg yeah I know maybe I'm having a

psychotic break maybe I'm just imagining

that I'm a woman and everybody else

season man

no no you're definitely a woman I feel

like like a hairless Chihuahua I'm weak

I mean car keys are heavy I could get

hurt out there yeah settle down dude um

why don't you tell me what happened I

don't know I died I went out with some

buddies last night and I crashed at a

friend's place and then I woke up with

funbags weight breasts there was this

woman she she bought me a drink

did Adam hurt you in an emotional way

what no no look I am coming to you

because you were a great therapist

before we you know became intimate I

would never sleep with him I would lose

my license it was after he left me as a

patient honey you have me confused with

someone who cares Arthur are you wearing

my clothes yes I believe I am who are

you are you stalking Adam or oh god me

I'm not a stalker forget it okay wait

wait um there's someone I'd like for you

to talk to at UCLA he's an expert in

identity displacement okay good

God God Thank You Christa thank you cuz

I gotta tell you I'm man enough to admit

that I don't think I'm taking this well

I'd like to get you in there today but

you should bring some clothes along

preferably ones that aren't mine right

because they might need to keep me

overnight for observation yes right

Thanks

I will do that I will go home and I will

pack for that and then I'll call you

back no I get it

there Connors been doing all these

spinning classes nice

sorry I need to talk to you

you're Adams best friend right yeah who

are you

Adams in trouble big trouble and he

needs your help and it wasn't work today

yes

for a reason okay listen this is totally

top secret it exceeds even your stupid

guy code what do you know about guy code

where's Adam I'm gonna tell you a secret

but you have to swear you're not gonna

tell anyone and you're the keeper the

secret yes right I don't buy it

you knew Adam number one mantra is never

trusted one with a secret that's true

however especially a homeless one then

please get out of my car however I am a

woman who can keep a secret okay like

say a certain secret regarding a

bachelor party in Vegas who are you I

just want you to remember how

understanding Adam was when you told him

about Shana

no let alone the state you were in not

that I know that details except Shana

had big hands what the hell do you want

you you tried to extort money from me is

that it no Connor I'm your what I got to

get back to work

I'm just I'm just trying to help out him

find somebody yeah the the woman he left

the bar with last night did you get a

good look at her her name was Sophia

what does that have to do with anything

a lot I think no come on you're just

gonna leave your buddy hey

[Music]

what no Adam is definitely not around

who's this it's Gavin mom

Gavin hey hi this is uh Adams assistant

Eva Adams just not here right now okay

well I'll get polio no no sorry

yeah I'm just stepped away for a second

can I help you yeah

listen can you tell Adam we want to do

this we still have a few more questions

but we'd really like to get it done

today

yeah great um I'll set something up for

you okay good that's great

thank you Eva thank you Gavin we have to

do this how are we gonna do

did you find me you camp Golden Arrow we

were 10 it wasn't a girl then I was Adam

let go July you have boys to men and the

Macarena on your iPod and you lost your

virginity to a guy named Jason Kemper

when you were right I lied Amy isn't FBI

she's a stripper

[Music]

no because Adam would be far too busy

talking about himself to ever get around

to discussing you ma'am do you really

want a piece of me well depends what

piece you want to break off baby

[Music]

when I get my stones back I will damn it

what did Jason Kemper say what that

night after we had sex Jason said

something that I only told Adam great ah

uh yeah yeah you wanted him to reassure

you that you weren't gonna get pregnant

because you were just 17 and you were

scared and he rolled over and he he

looked up at the stars and he said I

can't remember if our school mascot is a

cricket or spider and then you swore no

more dumb guys

kidding me great I don't even know there

was this woman at the bar last night and

we went out to the parking lot and we

you know but it doesn't matter after

that I started feeling weird please one

breakdown at a time

I am totally around the bend one of us

has got to stay upriver okay now why

this happened how all of it gotta wait

because right now I have got to stop my

life from unraveling so I've got a job

to come back to what do you want me to

do help me be a woman

yeah okay you're right let's do it oh my

god can I help you find something

well you have a new way of testicles

excuse me we need to see your suit

you

Batman okay here we go

we're doing it hey how you doing what's

up weird going on here

just a chick coming through song a brass

hey mickey excuse me uh this is Eva

Adams new assistant she said she has an

urgent message from anima yep I'm really

sorry didn't wait you're the woman I met

in Vegas I don't know most mister mr.

miles where's that

well what I'm about to tell you cannot

leave this room Adam checked into rehab

this morning for what he didn't say but

it's an experimental facility in San

Diego and it's very turbo he's not gonna

be there long his behaviors been erratic

alcohol or drugs any drugs

is it porn he's not addicted to porn he

can stop anytime he wants here's the

good news

Adam is about to close gavin miles he's

gonna sign him today sign him from where

well that's a good question he wants me

to be his surrogate he's uploaded me on

everything Gavin actually I spoke with

that him on the way in this morning

Brian he handed it off to me what we've

been working together on this that is

not true and aren't Wednesday mornings

when you get your perineum bleached

why give karna Gavin's phone number

Brian I swear I there you go tool

thank you that will be all

Yeah right this is not over bitches

you

down maybe you realize you were just in

the yeah I'm Eva

Adams oh wait I need to talk to Adam

actually yeah why because Gavin said

that he spoke with out his office about

coming down for a meeting but Adam never

called him told me okay

is Adam in no sorry still sick

really yeah okay well um call me if

there's anything you need just let me

know to kind I'm good buddy wait how did

you know my name help you with anything

oh just kicking tires hey what would you

say if I told you I could get you gavin

miles to come to your fashion show I'd

say I handle fashion not just a felons

hmm yeah go ahead make yourself at home

Gavin - sorry on winter soon to be a

free agent and we're trying to sign him

yeah not interested but you said that

InStyle would pick up the tab if we got

you so late Bridget Jones stop you'd be

annoying even if I had to listen to you

drop it yeah you don't want him to sign

Gavin miles because you want Adam didn't

fail they want my office your office

well I mean I meant whatever Pilates hmm

Bikram Yoga sweaty hot sweaty yoga with

tight pants up to do to get us lucky

energy I live to do some cardio ya know

so do I just been busy with this fashion

show so I haven't been able to get down

my trainers like you got to come in like

five days you know weeks whatever and

make it work though in here when I Drive

I clench it's none of your business

though anyway what do you have against

Adam I mean he's never hit on you

listen you know I really hope that Adam

comes out on the other end of his little

problem a better human being but I got

to tell you I'm not gonna shed a tear he

ends up sleeping under a bridge because

you know what that means you'll be

working here anymore

so don't get too comfortable you know

what your desks out there sunshine watch

you go sit mate

yeah well where it is he's not nearly as

good to see things - yes good no one

here uh because I already can really

bring it Madame's been known to soft

pickle during crunch time you're told

that was after four margaritas on the

day we lost out on LeBron it happens to

every guy at some point right ha that's

so funny

but listen while we're on the subject

was there a temp or an intern working

here named silver yeah

she sat right over there the only new

assistant is you we didn't catch your

name

Eva Susanne Allison Jenna hey you have a

facial at 2:30 and your tee time with

Gavin what what are we talking about

volume in discussion

sorry papi a pasta me amigo

excuse me your right knee is swaying

it's causing you to open up Wow

it's clubs are a little long for me now

all right knee huh okay thank you for

that Eva I'm with Adam Evanston we

talked on the phone this afternoon all

right yeah Adam got called away on

business he just wanted me to give you

this you just push that icon that's my

number I'm under your thumb 24/7 what

you're really getting is two-for-one

because we are both gonna start every

day asking what can we do for gavin

miles and we're gonna end it wondering

whether we've done enough go away you

can start by pumping the brakes a little

bit right good god I'm so aggressive and

that's what you like but with me it's a

little packaging issue I got it

oh sweet Jesus look when's Adam coming

home when he beats his addiction to

rehab you didn't tell you Gavin deserves

to know Adam is in rehab for four years

on the street we don't need your help

Adam has gotten into your heart through

your panties what's going on the rest

assure the situation with your first

Adam will be do the exact same

because that is a snake wrapped around

the way it's stuffed in your easel and

nobody trusts Adam Evanston as far as it

comes from epic jerk man I had no idea

it's kind of breathtaking actually

garnet I'm gonna take a rain check buddy

all right whoa damn Hey

[Music]

what you did today was crazy in 31

flavors yeah Dame hi look we're talking

restraining order behavior here we may

lose our shot at gavin miles please just

do it

these shoes are killing me and i got a

bottle of scotch waiting with my name on

it

i hope in your next job eva you use

better judgment because there's

something unique about you i can't quite

put my finger on it hmm

anyway you're fired

okay well thanks for the shot

no it was here still

yeah Conner's getting was sweet again

tonight because he's taking Gavin Mars

and you hate basketball I love sweets

I can't believe Connor is trying to

poach Gavin for me yeah well you have to

stop trusting people well

Connor Adam should we get the boot not

you sorry

yeah well dumpy you wanted to sign Gavin

for all the right reasons dude I just

wanted to win you wanted to win I mean

Adam I'm just repeating his message to

you

Thanks well listen if you ever need

anything just let me know I kind of feel

responsible for what happened no don't

don't worry about it I mean you're just

doing your job you know what well you

have to finish this finish what you have

to sign Gavin Myles

well he's not returning my calls so I

think listen to me Connors taking Gavin

to the Lakers game tonight I'll get us

tickets and you get us past this to the

VIP lounge for halftime can you do that

yeah I think no don't think do all right

I'll meet you in front of Staples Center

at 7 o'clock tonight don't be late Wow

he's not the kind of smile you want from

your wingman

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

moisturise even more and more men are

exfoliating telling you you can do for

men's facial creams but other athletes

have Duncan been shaving all right we

don't have to sign Gavin tonight just as

long as Connor doesn't it's about

climbing back into the game

yeah well good luck with that his half

time is almost over and the Conor has

fused himself the Gavin's hip well we

have to pry him loose

you thought about what you're gonna say

no not really

what the wing it kind of guy do anything

it seems to premeditated good god man

how do you make rent

[Music]

Janis miles is the hammer she controls

the cash sheets the Minister of Finance

you think yeah

yep start her you have to talk to her

now you have to move come on relax it's

like an oven in here where are you going

all right I'm going in focus focus

Janice did she is nothing going on here

just a chick in the bathroom just

another chick in the bathroom happens

every day

um brushing up makeup powder powder my

nose lips lips yeah how did you lives

just need some lip stuff look goo shine

club we in the dressing room today

yeah I'm Adams assistant right how's he

doing

Oh fantastic yeah totally recovered

leading group write in a book take care

all right did nice see are you and Gavin

here with Connor spikes tonight yes why

nothing that thing I need to be

Switzerland on this you know because

Adams also at my firm and Paul who is

with me here tonight I don't really like

well he's got the most amazing skin

anyway I just

everyone was a piece of my husband you

know are you afraid

Gavin's being pulled from you no I'm

worried as being pulled from himself all

right and buying into his own - yes

exactly are you and um you know ho oh

god no just my type do you like bad boys

huh well you know be careful bad boys

can be a time hole but anyway take care

no bad boys make you money you don't

want a nice guy managing your career

tell her that hurry she's leaving no

what Paul's too nice

I mean do I really want to be with a

single dad who puts his daughter first

and whose idea of a fun Saturday is

painting a community center sounds like

the kind of man a girl would want in her

life exactly and that's why it's your

lucky day

you get Paul five minutes five minutes

and he will change your life

you

honor it's a great game huh where's

Kevin half times over maybe you took a

seat I swear to God you mister

you

and I can use one of those bad

you

you weren't a great guy Adam really

why did you like me

I've asked myself that of many many

occasions helps that we go way back or

maybe I see potential in you

as a person of course I need to find out

who did this to me and why and I don't

think I can do it without you

you can't do anything about man oh yeah

she brought me a Adams mail well I'm

supposed to be oh yeah you know I'm jobs

are a little hard to come by right now

pump yeah I read the paper doing this

job

gavin miles is coming to sharp and so

are you

I talked to Brian Mick he's supposed to

call you

whoa

catch it's a package contact warning

warning release hug do you read release

yes

you know I just gotta get my coffee and

go change clothes okay all right well I

will see you

you okay you're hanging don't know

you're coming like a girl I think I'm

gonna sneeze actually a little bit of

Sun of my eyes Evanston is crying like a

little girl

God what the hell is this that's some

happy moment it just instantly converts

to liquid just think of it like laughing

only better you're kidding me right

you

you

you