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1
00:00:01,615 --> 00:00:04,675
James, great speech for
the scouts of America.
2
00:00:04,778 --> 00:00:06,278
Although for future reference,
3
00:00:06,379 --> 00:00:09,019
we got to keep the mayor away
from words like "webelo."
4
00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:12,214
I'll add that to the list.
5
00:00:12,305 --> 00:00:15,125
We've got these two school
closings up in the Bronx.
6
00:00:15,228 --> 00:00:19,448
Whoever goes up there is going to
take a real beating, so, uh...
7
00:00:19,552 --> 00:00:21,492
Stuart, why don't you handle that?
8
00:00:21,594 --> 00:00:22,704
They're here!
9
00:00:22,795 --> 00:00:24,615
They're here, they're
here, they're here.
10
00:00:24,717 --> 00:00:26,217
Okay, people, listen up.
11
00:00:26,318 --> 00:00:27,578
According to Manhattan magazine,
12
00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:31,940
as of 9:23 on this
glorious October morning,
13
00:00:32,044 --> 00:00:34,474
I, Michael t. Flaherty,
am now officially...
14
00:00:34,566 --> 00:00:36,986
The sexiest man in Manhattan.
15
00:00:42,894 --> 00:00:45,364
JFK Jr. took himself
out of the running.
16
00:00:45,456 --> 00:00:47,956
I don't want this to disrupt
things here at the office.
17
00:00:48,059 --> 00:00:51,699
After all, I'm no sexier today
than I was yesterday, so.
18
00:00:52,543 --> 00:00:53,933
What about Alec Baldwin?
19
00:00:54,025 --> 00:00:56,025
Not technically a New Yorker.
20
00:00:56,707 --> 00:00:58,527
Now the mayor's being honored on Friday
21
00:00:58,629 --> 00:01:00,369
by the association of
christians and Jews.
22
00:01:00,471 --> 00:01:01,691
You're all expected to attend.
23
00:01:01,792 --> 00:01:03,972
Please, keep in mind these
are religious people.
24
00:01:04,074 --> 00:01:06,084
So choose your dates with care.
25
00:01:06,677 --> 00:01:08,097
There are ten commandments.
26
00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:10,198
I'd like your dates to check
out on at least seven of them.
27
00:01:12,042 --> 00:01:13,142
That's kind of tough, Mike.
28
00:01:13,243 --> 00:01:15,073
Even assuming they
haven't killed anybody,
29
00:01:15,165 --> 00:01:17,165
they still have to go six for nine.
30
00:01:19,449 --> 00:01:21,449
What about Billy Baldwin?
31
00:01:23,453 --> 00:01:25,483
Los Angeles.
32
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Do we have to bring a date?
33
00:01:27,096 --> 00:01:29,796
No, but anybody who
doesn't bring a date
34
00:01:29,899 --> 00:01:31,679
will be placed on Helen
duty for the evening.
35
00:01:31,781 --> 00:01:33,281
Oh!
36
00:01:33,382 --> 00:01:35,242
Personally, there's
nothing I'd rather do
37
00:01:35,344 --> 00:01:37,214
than spend an evening
with the mayor's wife,
38
00:01:37,306 --> 00:01:40,386
but unfortunately for me, being
the sexiest man in New York,
39
00:01:41,310 --> 00:01:42,610
I already got a date.
40
00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:45,451
You're telling me there isn't
a single Baldwin brother
41
00:01:45,554 --> 00:01:47,564
in any of the boroughs?
42
00:02:01,609 --> 00:02:03,669
Ashley, maybe I need to clarify.
43
00:02:03,771 --> 00:02:06,951
I have no comment. I
have nothing to say.
44
00:02:07,054 --> 00:02:09,604
I have no idea what you're
talking about, okay?
45
00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:12,037
Fine. Just one final question, though.
46
00:02:12,139 --> 00:02:13,119
One.
47
00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:15,220
Well, it's divided into three parts.
48
00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:17,643
Paul, I have something important
49
00:02:17,744 --> 00:02:19,014
to discuss with miss schaeffer.
50
00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:20,306
Could you allow us a
moment of privacy, please?
51
00:02:20,387 --> 00:02:22,387
Gladly.
52
00:02:30,036 --> 00:02:32,036
I take it the magazine came out?
53
00:02:35,401 --> 00:02:37,801
Next on the runway, Mr.
Michael Flaherty.
54
00:02:39,845 --> 00:02:41,845
And...
55
00:02:42,528 --> 00:02:44,228
He's wearing...
56
00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:46,330
His marky marks.
57
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:50,482
Named for a man who, while
quite sexy in his own right,
58
00:02:50,575 --> 00:02:53,215
must now toil in Flaherty's shadow.
59
00:02:54,179 --> 00:02:56,239
Do you mind? People are eating here.
60
00:02:56,341 --> 00:02:59,141
What? Am I too sexy for you?
61
00:03:00,945 --> 00:03:03,165
Yes. Yes. I am so woozy with desire,
62
00:03:03,268 --> 00:03:05,048
I can barely finish eating this carrot.
63
00:03:05,149 --> 00:03:08,809
Then I will just... Wait for you here.
64
00:03:08,913 --> 00:03:10,923
Thank you.
65
00:03:13,958 --> 00:03:15,958
Ashley...
66
00:03:17,921 --> 00:03:19,921
You want a piece of this?
67
00:03:28,692 --> 00:03:32,522
Would I be having sex with you or
with the sexiest man in New York?
68
00:03:32,615 --> 00:03:35,335
Well, you can't have
one without the other.
69
00:03:36,059 --> 00:03:37,599
Then I'll pass.
70
00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:38,880
What do you mean you pass?
71
00:03:38,981 --> 00:03:41,601
You can't pass on an
opportunity like this.
72
00:03:41,704 --> 00:03:43,014
I've slept with you before.
73
00:03:43,105 --> 00:03:45,565
I'm familiar with the procedure.
74
00:03:45,668 --> 00:03:48,408
I wouldn't pass on a chance to
sleep with the sexiest woman...
75
00:03:48,511 --> 00:03:50,251
Don't finish that sentence, mister!
76
00:03:50,352 --> 00:03:52,352
Because that's you!
77
00:03:54,676 --> 00:03:56,016
Mike? Yes, Paul.
78
00:03:56,118 --> 00:03:58,298
I know that Ashley
schaeffer's your girlfriend,
79
00:03:58,400 --> 00:03:59,860
and let me just say, I
think she's wonderful.
80
00:03:59,961 --> 00:04:02,301
She's beautiful, charming,
witty, a real catch.
81
00:04:02,404 --> 00:04:03,394
Spill it, Paul.
82
00:04:03,485 --> 00:04:05,485
She's evil, Mike.
83
00:04:07,489 --> 00:04:09,829
I'm telling you, she's all over me.
It's eerie.
84
00:04:09,931 --> 00:04:12,311
It's like she can read my mind.
85
00:04:12,413 --> 00:04:14,523
She's just on a hot streak.
It's going to pass.
86
00:04:14,615 --> 00:04:16,275
I'm telling you, she's out to get me.
87
00:04:16,377 --> 00:04:17,637
What is she on to now?
88
00:04:17,738 --> 00:04:19,798
Some internal audit of this
high school out in queens.
89
00:04:19,900 --> 00:04:21,840
What's that all about anyway?
90
00:04:21,942 --> 00:04:23,842
We got a custodian
91
00:04:23,944 --> 00:04:25,954
at a high school in queens,
92
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,887
happens to own a fishing boat.
93
00:04:28,989 --> 00:04:31,349
A municipal worker who owns a boat. So?
94
00:04:32,552 --> 00:04:34,662
So, there's just some concern that
95
00:04:34,755 --> 00:04:37,295
the boat might be
misrepresented by the press.
96
00:04:37,397 --> 00:04:39,397
Misrepresented how?
97
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,000
As a yacht.
98
00:04:43,603 --> 00:04:44,623
Is it a yacht?
99
00:04:44,724 --> 00:04:46,354
No, it's, uh...
100
00:04:46,446 --> 00:04:48,466
It's not a yacht. It's
the guy's fishing boat.
101
00:04:48,568 --> 00:04:51,128
You know, it's a dinghy, really.
102
00:04:51,971 --> 00:04:54,231
All right, fine. Sure, okay.
103
00:04:54,333 --> 00:04:56,343
All right. I'll see you.
104
00:04:58,057 --> 00:05:00,057
Does this boat have a jacuzzi?
105
00:05:00,699 --> 00:05:01,679
Why do you ask?
106
00:05:01,780 --> 00:05:03,360
Oh, no, Mike!
107
00:05:03,462 --> 00:05:04,522
Aw, Mike, no!
108
00:05:04,623 --> 00:05:06,333
We're talking scandal!
We're talking kickback!
109
00:05:06,425 --> 00:05:07,725
We're talking news footage
110
00:05:07,826 --> 00:05:09,486
of crumbling inner-city schools
111
00:05:09,588 --> 00:05:10,808
cross-cut with photos
112
00:05:10,909 --> 00:05:12,849
of a janitor sitting in his jacuzzi
113
00:05:12,951 --> 00:05:14,951
aboard a 60-foot yacht.
114
00:05:15,994 --> 00:05:17,744
It's got a big mother
of a satellite dish.
115
00:05:17,835 --> 00:05:19,835
Oh!
116
00:05:21,079 --> 00:05:22,779
Hey, hey. You guys read my article yet?
117
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:23,980
Ah, yes.
118
00:05:24,081 --> 00:05:26,861
It was fascinating.
I'm having it framed.
119
00:05:26,964 --> 00:05:29,354
Mike, wordsworth is my
favorite poet, too.
120
00:05:29,447 --> 00:05:31,627
Is that who I put?
121
00:05:31,729 --> 00:05:33,789
They faxed me this
little questionnaire.
122
00:05:33,891 --> 00:05:37,231
Since when do you kayak
on the weekends?
123
00:05:37,334 --> 00:05:40,384
I kayak in my spare time.
124
00:05:41,658 --> 00:05:43,598
In my spare time...
125
00:05:43,700 --> 00:05:46,200
Of which I have none.
126
00:05:46,303 --> 00:05:49,213
However do you find time
for all your hobbies,
127
00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:51,445
playing squash, cooking pasta,
128
00:05:51,548 --> 00:05:54,448
and contemplative introspection?
129
00:05:54,550 --> 00:05:57,610
Thinking, Mike? That's your hobby?
130
00:05:57,713 --> 00:05:58,943
You guys are missing the point.
131
00:05:59,035 --> 00:06:00,455
The point is,
132
00:06:00,556 --> 00:06:03,016
I'm the sexiest man in New York,
133
00:06:03,119 --> 00:06:06,219
and I bet statistically, I'm sexier
than all of you put together...
134
00:06:06,322 --> 00:06:07,902
Yeah, maybe, but that's only
135
00:06:08,003 --> 00:06:10,013
because Stuart's dragging us down.
136
00:06:12,728 --> 00:06:14,108
Well, be that as it may,
137
00:06:14,209 --> 00:06:15,269
I got a date for tomorrow night.
138
00:06:15,370 --> 00:06:17,370
And if tradition holds, none of you do.
139
00:06:19,294 --> 00:06:21,604
I'll tell you what. I'll
pass the savings on to you.
140
00:06:21,696 --> 00:06:23,636
I suggest dividing Mrs. Winston up
141
00:06:23,738 --> 00:06:26,198
into easy-to-swallow 30-minute shifts.
142
00:06:26,301 --> 00:06:28,681
This isn't fair. You
have a live-in date.
143
00:06:28,783 --> 00:06:30,793
You'll never have to go on Helen duty.
144
00:06:31,265 --> 00:06:32,485
I'll tell you what I'll do.
145
00:06:32,587 --> 00:06:36,567
If all of you get dates
for Friday night,
146
00:06:36,670 --> 00:06:38,670
I'll take care of Mrs. Winston.
147
00:06:40,074 --> 00:06:43,784
Of course, the banquet would
probably have been canceled,
148
00:06:43,877 --> 00:06:45,997
what with hell having
frozen over and all.
149
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:48,420
James,
150
00:06:48,522 --> 00:06:50,262
would you like to go to
dinner with me Friday night?
151
00:06:50,363 --> 00:06:51,353
Sure.
152
00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:52,705
No, no, hey, wait a minute.
153
00:06:52,806 --> 00:06:54,346
Karen, would you go to dinner with me?
154
00:06:54,447 --> 00:06:55,827
I'd love to! Oh, great.
155
00:06:55,929 --> 00:06:57,929
You can't. No. Hey, that's not fair.
156
00:06:59,692 --> 00:07:02,142
Well, Stuart, Carter...
157
00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:10,901
Guess you guys will be
sharing Helen duty.
158
00:07:18,430 --> 00:07:20,430
Pick you up at 7:00?
159
00:07:23,715 --> 00:07:25,655
You know, I take it there
is some impropriety
160
00:07:25,757 --> 00:07:27,057
going on down at that school.
161
00:07:27,158 --> 00:07:28,818
Well, that depends on what you
mean by impropriety, sir.
162
00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:30,420
Larceny, fraud, embezzlement.
163
00:07:30,522 --> 00:07:32,522
Well, then, yes.
164
00:07:33,284 --> 00:07:35,154
So have you briefed Paul?
165
00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:36,706
Yeah. I told him we
want to keep it quiet.
166
00:07:36,808 --> 00:07:39,388
You know, we want to do our
own internal investigation.
167
00:07:39,490 --> 00:07:40,870
There's no telling how high up the...
168
00:07:40,972 --> 00:07:43,632
Hmm. ...Ladder this thing goes,
169
00:07:43,734 --> 00:07:46,124
so we wouldn't want to
make the mistake of...
170
00:07:46,217 --> 00:07:48,837
Can I help you at all, sir?
171
00:07:48,939 --> 00:07:51,059
You know, they're right.
You are a very sexy man.
172
00:07:51,902 --> 00:07:53,042
Striking.
173
00:07:53,143 --> 00:07:55,153
All right, sir, I'm going
to be honest with you.
174
00:07:56,146 --> 00:07:58,146
I'm already taken.
175
00:07:58,749 --> 00:07:59,929
You know, uh,
176
00:08:00,030 --> 00:08:01,610
you better get used to
people looking at you,
177
00:08:01,711 --> 00:08:04,571
because from now on,
everything you do is a story.
178
00:08:04,674 --> 00:08:06,704
I mean, the restaurants you eat at,
179
00:08:06,796 --> 00:08:08,696
the movies that you
see, the way you look.
180
00:08:08,798 --> 00:08:11,138
I'm sure it's not going to be
that much of a burden, sir.
181
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,380
Once you're in the public spotlight,
182
00:08:13,483 --> 00:08:15,423
you can't get out.
183
00:08:15,524 --> 00:08:16,754
You walk down the street,
184
00:08:16,846 --> 00:08:20,586
you start to feel
people looking at you.
185
00:08:20,689 --> 00:08:25,149
Everywhere you turn, nothing
but eyes staring...
186
00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:27,484
Judging...
187
00:08:27,576 --> 00:08:30,496
Gazing into the very
recesses of your soul.
188
00:08:33,141 --> 00:08:35,201
No, no. Wait, wait. Stop.
189
00:08:35,303 --> 00:08:37,313
What? What's the matter?
190
00:08:38,266 --> 00:08:40,206
I, I can't do this.
191
00:08:40,308 --> 00:08:42,308
What is it?
192
00:08:42,710 --> 00:08:44,710
Uh, I don't know. I just...
193
00:08:45,153 --> 00:08:46,973
I feel weird...
194
00:08:47,074 --> 00:08:49,224
Like, uh...
195
00:08:49,317 --> 00:08:51,317
Like people are watching me.
196
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:54,540
Well, why don't you close your eyes
197
00:08:54,642 --> 00:08:56,582
and just let me help you get over it?
198
00:08:56,684 --> 00:08:58,954
No. Honey, you don't understand.
199
00:08:59,046 --> 00:09:00,826
This is like, uh...
200
00:09:00,928 --> 00:09:02,928
It's like a major malfunction...
201
00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:05,610
Kind of a hydraulics problem.
202
00:09:06,133 --> 00:09:08,323
What do you mean?
203
00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:12,795
Okay, uh, you know when
your foot falls asleep?
204
00:09:12,899 --> 00:09:15,259
Yeah. I just shake it real
hard and stomp on it.
205
00:09:17,704 --> 00:09:19,714
Not a good idea.
206
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:22,206
Oh.
207
00:09:22,308 --> 00:09:24,308
Oh...
208
00:09:28,073 --> 00:09:29,503
Hey there, sexy.
209
00:09:29,595 --> 00:09:31,175
You're looking mighty fine today.
210
00:09:31,277 --> 00:09:32,777
Right back at you, Roberta.
211
00:09:32,878 --> 00:09:34,058
You're number one.
212
00:09:34,159 --> 00:09:35,859
You know it, kid.
213
00:09:35,961 --> 00:09:37,961
I'm living a lie.
214
00:09:40,165 --> 00:09:41,865
Honey, really, it's going to be fine.
215
00:09:41,967 --> 00:09:43,867
No. I'm a big, fat phony.
216
00:09:43,969 --> 00:09:46,389
Hey, sexiest man in New York, up top!
217
00:09:46,491 --> 00:09:47,791
I can't go on with this.
218
00:09:47,892 --> 00:09:50,032
This has got to stop.
219
00:09:50,134 --> 00:09:51,604
Hey, Mike, nice tie.
220
00:09:51,696 --> 00:09:54,276
Oh, for god's sake, will you
people please leave him alone?
221
00:09:54,378 --> 00:09:56,378
What do you want from him?
222
00:09:59,784 --> 00:10:01,794
Thanks, honey. That's much better.
223
00:10:05,509 --> 00:10:07,509
Everything all right?
224
00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:09,292
Yeah. Fine.
225
00:10:09,393 --> 00:10:11,403
All right, so whip it out.
226
00:10:13,957 --> 00:10:15,177
What?
227
00:10:15,278 --> 00:10:16,738
The football pool.
228
00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,260
Giants over Dallas. I won.
229
00:10:18,361 --> 00:10:20,361
Oh, god, the football pool.
230
00:10:22,245 --> 00:10:24,465
Oh, thank god. Okay.
231
00:10:24,567 --> 00:10:26,467
Here you go. That's a 20, Mike.
232
00:10:26,569 --> 00:10:28,949
Yeah. Well, you keep the rest
233
00:10:29,051 --> 00:10:31,331
because I'm just going to go lie down.
234
00:10:32,655 --> 00:10:35,515
...which are just a few
of the many reasons
235
00:10:35,618 --> 00:10:38,118
why the mayor has issued
this proclamation
236
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:41,240
making today pedestrian safety day.
237
00:10:41,343 --> 00:10:42,643
Yeah. Yes, Ashley?
238
00:10:42,744 --> 00:10:44,694
Thank you. I just wanted
to follow up on that audit
239
00:10:44,786 --> 00:10:45,886
of that high school out in queens.
240
00:10:45,988 --> 00:10:47,848
First, I'd like to
respond to any and all
241
00:10:47,949 --> 00:10:49,949
pedestrian safety-related questions.
242
00:10:52,073 --> 00:10:53,383
Okay, then.
243
00:10:53,475 --> 00:10:55,735
Have the school books,
in fact, been audited?
244
00:10:55,837 --> 00:10:56,817
Ah, no.
245
00:10:56,918 --> 00:10:58,098
So all the funds are accounted for?
246
00:10:58,199 --> 00:10:59,779
Yes. They have. That's correct.
247
00:10:59,881 --> 00:11:01,461
But you don't really know that,
248
00:11:01,562 --> 00:11:03,752
because as you said, the books
haven't been audited yet, right?
249
00:11:03,845 --> 00:11:06,345
Right. Wrong. Wrong.
250
00:11:06,447 --> 00:11:07,827
That's, uh, I mean, uh...
251
00:11:07,928 --> 00:11:09,928
Why are you doing this to me?
252
00:11:11,372 --> 00:11:12,432
What are we doing?
253
00:11:12,533 --> 00:11:14,443
We're just coming home
254
00:11:14,535 --> 00:11:15,835
for a little early lunch.
255
00:11:15,936 --> 00:11:17,476
Mike, it's quarter after 9:00.
256
00:11:17,578 --> 00:11:19,678
A late breakfast.
257
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:21,520
All right, you know why we're here.
258
00:11:21,621 --> 00:11:23,621
I got to get right back on the horse.
259
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:28,866
Does the horse have any say in this?
260
00:11:29,869 --> 00:11:31,809
The horse gets no say.
261
00:11:31,911 --> 00:11:34,031
If the horse likes, it can whinny.
262
00:11:35,074 --> 00:11:36,904
All right, now, please,
263
00:11:36,996 --> 00:11:38,996
just strip and lie back on the bed.
264
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:41,700
Excuse me?
265
00:11:41,801 --> 00:11:43,341
Do you have any idea
266
00:11:43,442 --> 00:11:46,312
how many people subscribe
to Manhattan magazine?
267
00:11:46,405 --> 00:11:49,025
246,000.
268
00:11:49,128 --> 00:11:51,868
I feel like I'm having sex in
the middle of yankee stadium,
269
00:11:51,970 --> 00:11:55,730
and they're all watching
me and judging me.
270
00:11:57,496 --> 00:11:59,116
Honey, maybe you should
see someone about this.
271
00:11:59,217 --> 00:12:01,217
You know, talk to
somebody, a professional.
272
00:12:04,302 --> 00:12:06,302
Is there a good reason
you're not naked yet?
273
00:12:07,345 --> 00:12:09,605
If I do this, it is
only because I love you
274
00:12:09,707 --> 00:12:11,567
and because it is clear that
you're about to lose your mind.
275
00:12:11,669 --> 00:12:14,049
Well, those are two excellent reasons
276
00:12:14,151 --> 00:12:15,891
to have sex with a person.
277
00:12:15,993 --> 00:12:18,383
All right. Now, I just...
278
00:12:18,476 --> 00:12:19,896
I got to remember...
279
00:12:19,997 --> 00:12:23,057
No matter how much they may want me,
280
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,660
I'm not making love to the entire city.
281
00:12:25,762 --> 00:12:27,262
You just got to narrow it down.
282
00:12:27,364 --> 00:12:29,314
A few square city blocks.
283
00:12:29,406 --> 00:12:31,406
Pretend I'm Chinatown.
284
00:12:32,529 --> 00:12:34,429
Chinatown?
285
00:12:34,531 --> 00:12:36,511
Oh, yeah.
286
00:12:36,613 --> 00:12:38,033
Yeah. I like that.
287
00:12:38,134 --> 00:12:39,484
Mmm. Chinatown.
288
00:12:39,576 --> 00:12:41,596
Mmm. I'm thinking...
289
00:12:41,698 --> 00:12:43,718
I'm thinking silk kimonos.
290
00:12:43,820 --> 00:12:45,280
I'm thinking geisha girls.
291
00:12:45,381 --> 00:12:46,561
Geisha girls are Japanese.
292
00:12:46,662 --> 00:12:47,682
So?
293
00:12:47,783 --> 00:12:49,413
So are kimonos. So?
294
00:12:49,505 --> 00:12:51,785
So we shouldn't have
culturally insensitive sex.
295
00:12:56,592 --> 00:12:58,872
Not exactly my biggest
problem right now.
296
00:13:00,355 --> 00:13:02,555
I'll apologize to the pacific
rim when we're done.
297
00:13:03,278 --> 00:13:05,098
I'm sorry.
298
00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:06,980
Okay, where were we?
299
00:13:07,082 --> 00:13:09,142
I mean, you were just trying to help.
300
00:13:09,244 --> 00:13:10,714
Oh, yeah. Chinatown.
301
00:13:10,805 --> 00:13:12,225
Mmm. Yeah.
302
00:13:12,327 --> 00:13:14,327
I'm thinking chopsticks.
303
00:13:14,689 --> 00:13:15,909
I'm thinking...
304
00:13:16,010 --> 00:13:18,610
Dead ducks hanging in store windows.
305
00:13:24,979 --> 00:13:26,979
You've ruined Chinatown for me.
306
00:13:27,461 --> 00:13:28,441
Well, it's a big city.
307
00:13:28,542 --> 00:13:30,542
We just got to try someplace else.
308
00:13:31,545 --> 00:13:32,565
Little Italy?
309
00:13:32,666 --> 00:13:33,606
Mmm.
310
00:13:33,707 --> 00:13:35,707
Oh, bene, bene. Molto bene.
311
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,452
Checkered tablecloths.
312
00:13:40,554 --> 00:13:42,384
Um, tiramisu.
313
00:13:42,475 --> 00:13:44,175
Penne puttanesca.
314
00:13:44,277 --> 00:13:46,277
You're making me hungry.
315
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:48,820
No, no. It's just New York.
316
00:13:48,922 --> 00:13:51,282
How about Santa Fe?
317
00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:53,465
No.
318
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:54,626
Minneapolis?
319
00:13:54,727 --> 00:13:56,727
No. Houston?
320
00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:59,169
Houston? Houston.
321
00:14:01,854 --> 00:14:03,864
Houston.
322
00:14:04,256 --> 00:14:06,256
We have a problem.
323
00:14:12,904 --> 00:14:15,014
We have just got to stop
obsessing about this.
324
00:14:15,106 --> 00:14:16,886
You're right. You're right.
325
00:14:16,988 --> 00:14:19,348
I mean, it's not really
that big a deal.
326
00:14:21,513 --> 00:14:23,513
I won't blame you if
you want to leave me.
327
00:14:25,596 --> 00:14:27,296
Come on. I love you,
and I will love you
328
00:14:27,398 --> 00:14:29,398
even if you can never have sex again.
329
00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:32,521
Thanks.
330
00:14:33,324 --> 00:14:35,774
Up until this moment, I hadn't
considered that possibility.
331
00:14:37,808 --> 00:14:38,988
Excuse me.
332
00:14:39,089 --> 00:14:41,869
Aren't you on Helen duty tonight?
333
00:14:41,972 --> 00:14:44,902
'Cause I'm Helen, and
where have you been?
334
00:14:46,376 --> 00:14:47,476
You know, down at the office,
335
00:14:47,577 --> 00:14:49,277
we don't refer to it as Helen duty.
336
00:14:49,379 --> 00:14:51,759
We refer to it as Helen privilege.
337
00:14:51,861 --> 00:14:54,421
You really didn't have to
get me a corsage, James.
338
00:14:59,749 --> 00:15:01,649
I thought it would make it
look more like a real date.
339
00:15:01,751 --> 00:15:03,751
If you were prom king, maybe!
340
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:06,144
Oh, I'm just kidding.
341
00:15:06,235 --> 00:15:07,375
We're gonna have a good time.
342
00:15:07,476 --> 00:15:08,816
Well, you better believe it,
343
00:15:08,918 --> 00:15:10,918
'cause look what I smuggled in.
344
00:15:13,122 --> 00:15:15,122
We got peach schnapps.
345
00:15:19,488 --> 00:15:21,268
You're kidding.
346
00:15:21,369 --> 00:15:23,509
We're gonna party very hard tonight.
347
00:15:23,612 --> 00:15:25,612
You're not kidding.
348
00:15:26,094 --> 00:15:28,464
So, both of you guys
are in a rowboat...
349
00:15:34,742 --> 00:15:37,532
No, no, no. Stop me if
you've heard this one.
350
00:15:37,625 --> 00:15:40,605
Right now, 100,000 papers
are being printed up,
351
00:15:40,708 --> 00:15:43,788
and every one of them has a
picture of a janitor on a yacht.
352
00:15:44,471 --> 00:15:46,651
And you know why, Karen?
353
00:15:46,754 --> 00:15:48,764
Because he was cleaning it?
354
00:15:49,716 --> 00:15:51,656
Because of me. Because
I can't do my job.
355
00:15:51,758 --> 00:15:52,858
I'm an albatross.
356
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:55,300
Are you gonna eat that cherry?
357
00:15:55,402 --> 00:15:56,502
So, how are you guys doing?
358
00:15:56,603 --> 00:15:58,613
Paul's making me sad.
359
00:16:01,568 --> 00:16:02,788
You should go and dance.
360
00:16:02,889 --> 00:16:04,889
Okey-dokey.
361
00:16:06,452 --> 00:16:07,512
What's up?
362
00:16:07,613 --> 00:16:09,623
Ah, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm, I'm fine.
363
00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:13,157
How many drinks have you had?
364
00:16:13,259 --> 00:16:15,259
Oh, this is my first one.
365
00:16:19,305 --> 00:16:20,445
Really?
366
00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:22,706
All right. All right. Two.
367
00:16:28,834 --> 00:16:30,844
Unbelievable.
368
00:16:31,316 --> 00:16:33,556
Hey, Paul. Let me ask you something.
369
00:16:34,239 --> 00:16:36,239
How much do you weigh?
370
00:16:36,681 --> 00:16:39,061
I don't know. About 175.
371
00:16:39,163 --> 00:16:40,833
Popular kid in school, were you?
372
00:16:40,925 --> 00:16:42,925
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
373
00:16:43,367 --> 00:16:45,367
Yeah, guys love me. Yeah. Yeah.
374
00:16:46,370 --> 00:16:47,390
Where did you go to college?
375
00:16:47,491 --> 00:16:48,511
Notre Dame.
376
00:16:48,612 --> 00:16:49,792
There it is. I see it.
377
00:16:49,894 --> 00:16:52,444
What? What? I did. I
went to Notre Dame.
378
00:16:52,536 --> 00:16:54,236
Paul, you have a tell.
379
00:16:54,338 --> 00:16:55,918
You tip it when you lie.
380
00:16:56,019 --> 00:16:57,319
I do not.
381
00:16:57,421 --> 00:16:58,441
Oh, yeah, really?
382
00:16:58,542 --> 00:17:00,362
When did you lose your virginity?
383
00:17:00,464 --> 00:17:01,734
I don't know. When I was 16.
384
00:17:01,825 --> 00:17:02,765
Paul.
385
00:17:02,866 --> 00:17:04,886
All right. I was in college. Paul.
386
00:17:04,988 --> 00:17:07,208
All right! I was 33.
387
00:17:07,310 --> 00:17:08,930
But, oh, Mike, you
should have seen her.
388
00:17:09,032 --> 00:17:10,932
She was beautiful. She was a model.
389
00:17:11,034 --> 00:17:12,544
You know, she didn't like me at first,
390
00:17:12,635 --> 00:17:15,175
but then, oh, then, she was
head-over-heels for me.
391
00:17:15,278 --> 00:17:17,178
Oh, my god! Oh, god!
392
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,020
I touch my face when I lie!
393
00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:20,501
Oh, my god!
394
00:17:20,603 --> 00:17:22,733
Oh, Mike! Oh, no! Oh, god!
395
00:17:23,766 --> 00:17:25,666
Carter, let me ask you something.
396
00:17:25,768 --> 00:17:27,868
Shoot.
397
00:17:27,970 --> 00:17:29,970
Suppose I was...
398
00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:34,104
You know.
399
00:17:34,736 --> 00:17:37,236
Gay, Stuart. The word is gay.
400
00:17:37,339 --> 00:17:39,419
It only has one syllable.
I know you can say it.
401
00:17:41,022 --> 00:17:43,022
Okay. Suppose I was gay.
402
00:17:43,785 --> 00:17:45,785
Would you find me... No!
403
00:17:52,753 --> 00:17:54,763
Not even a... No!
404
00:17:55,636 --> 00:17:56,656
I work out.
405
00:17:56,757 --> 00:17:58,757
I don't care.
406
00:18:00,761 --> 00:18:02,761
Can I, can I ask you something?
407
00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:04,753
Fire away.
408
00:18:04,845 --> 00:18:06,985
When you, uh...
409
00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:08,507
When you first started making speeches,
410
00:18:08,609 --> 00:18:10,989
you know, and running for office,
411
00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:13,711
and being in the public eye,
412
00:18:13,813 --> 00:18:18,383
did you develop any problems, you know,
413
00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:21,359
handling the pressure?
414
00:18:21,461 --> 00:18:22,481
You know,
415
00:18:22,582 --> 00:18:25,632
I've never told anybody
about this before.
416
00:18:27,787 --> 00:18:28,887
Once I took Helen
417
00:18:28,988 --> 00:18:31,728
to this beautiful, old romantic inn
418
00:18:31,831 --> 00:18:33,831
to get away for the weekend,
419
00:18:34,593 --> 00:18:36,783
and, bam, it happened.
420
00:18:36,875 --> 00:18:38,695
That's right.
421
00:18:38,797 --> 00:18:40,537
Bam!
422
00:18:40,639 --> 00:18:42,019
That's the way it was for me.
423
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:44,120
My golf game went right out the window.
424
00:18:46,885 --> 00:18:48,865
And by your golf game,
425
00:18:48,967 --> 00:18:50,967
I take it you actually...
426
00:18:52,170 --> 00:18:54,170
Mean your golf game.
427
00:18:54,692 --> 00:18:57,162
I used to play every day.
428
00:18:57,255 --> 00:19:00,355
Sometimes twice if I had the stamina.
429
00:19:00,458 --> 00:19:03,118
Then I became mayor Winston.
430
00:19:03,220 --> 00:19:04,400
I completely fell apart.
431
00:19:04,502 --> 00:19:07,322
I can still manage to
make it to the green,
432
00:19:07,424 --> 00:19:08,814
but then I'd pull my putter out...
433
00:19:08,906 --> 00:19:10,906
Nothing.
434
00:19:11,468 --> 00:19:13,688
It just... it just didn't feel right.
435
00:19:13,790 --> 00:19:15,290
Exactly.
436
00:19:15,392 --> 00:19:18,182
My confidence was shot.
437
00:19:18,275 --> 00:19:20,775
You know, and you can't fix
that at the driving range.
438
00:19:20,877 --> 00:19:22,977
Oh, no.
439
00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:25,079
You can practice by yourself all day...
440
00:19:27,123 --> 00:19:29,193
It's just not the same.
441
00:19:29,285 --> 00:19:31,285
You speak the truth.
442
00:19:33,209 --> 00:19:34,429
So, what did you do?
443
00:19:34,530 --> 00:19:36,030
I mean, how did you get past it?
444
00:19:36,132 --> 00:19:38,132
I didn't. I quit the game.
445
00:19:40,416 --> 00:19:42,836
Golf isn't everything, Mike.
446
00:19:42,938 --> 00:19:46,658
Oh, but what if you really,
really loved golf?
447
00:19:47,863 --> 00:19:49,653
Well...
448
00:19:49,745 --> 00:19:51,445
If I was going to try to
get back on the course,
449
00:19:51,546 --> 00:19:52,646
I think I would focus
450
00:19:52,748 --> 00:19:54,908
on what drew me there
in the first place.
451
00:19:56,551 --> 00:19:58,551
The pure, simple
452
00:19:59,634 --> 00:20:01,644
beauty of the game.
453
00:20:04,959 --> 00:20:06,959
The beauty of the game?
454
00:20:08,523 --> 00:20:10,673
Thank you, sir.
455
00:20:10,765 --> 00:20:12,765
Are you a golfer, Flaherty?
456
00:20:13,567 --> 00:20:15,567
Uh, used to be.
457
00:20:16,370 --> 00:20:18,770
Haven't played much in a while.
458
00:20:20,654 --> 00:20:23,884
I'm thinking of taking it up again.
459
00:20:23,977 --> 00:20:26,377
Well, you should. Best
six hours of your life.
460
00:20:28,822 --> 00:20:31,462
I think that might be a
little optimistic, sir.
461
00:20:33,827 --> 00:20:35,827
Well, this has been a
little slice of heaven.
462
00:20:37,110 --> 00:20:38,450
He's awful cute, though.
463
00:20:38,551 --> 00:20:40,551
Thank you.
464
00:20:41,834 --> 00:20:46,544
You are so unbelievably beautiful.
465
00:20:46,639 --> 00:20:48,639
Thank you.
466
00:20:51,644 --> 00:20:55,194
When I look into your eyes,
467
00:20:55,287 --> 00:20:57,607
I just want to be with you
for the rest of my life.
468
00:20:58,450 --> 00:21:00,350
Excuse us.
469
00:21:00,452 --> 00:21:03,032
Mike, there are people around.
470
00:21:03,134 --> 00:21:04,764
You know what?
471
00:21:04,856 --> 00:21:06,956
I don't care.
472
00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:09,158
I want you
473
00:21:09,260 --> 00:21:11,440
right here and right now.
474
00:21:11,542 --> 00:21:13,482
You don't have to put this
kind of pressure on yourself.
475
00:21:13,584 --> 00:21:15,594
This really is not the kind of place...
476
00:21:19,110 --> 00:21:20,530
Let's go. Yeah.
477
00:21:20,631 --> 00:21:23,071
Excuse us. Coming through. Deputy mayor.
Official business.
478
00:21:28,278 --> 00:21:30,278
It's alive!
479
00:21:32,803 --> 00:21:34,103
I don't want to be baby-sat
480
00:21:34,204 --> 00:21:36,214
every time we leave the house.
481
00:21:38,208 --> 00:21:39,548
So I suppose I could,
482
00:21:39,649 --> 00:21:42,249
in situations where your
career is at stake,
483
00:21:43,012 --> 00:21:45,012
take more care to be...
484
00:21:45,895 --> 00:21:47,895
Appropriate.
485
00:21:52,061 --> 00:21:53,961
That's my deputy mayor
and his girlfriend.
486
00:21:54,063 --> 00:21:55,523
Mmm. Mmm.
487
00:21:55,624 --> 00:21:57,574
They seem very happy.
488
00:21:57,666 --> 00:21:59,666
You would be, too, if you just had sex.
489
00:22:00,709 --> 00:22:02,709
Father!
33885
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