Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,771 --> 00:00:05,706
Hey, babe.
How's Boca Raton?
2
00:00:05,707 --> 00:00:08,241
NINA (over FaceTime): Old.
And I'm sorry I'm not there,
3
00:00:08,242 --> 00:00:09,609
but I could not turn this down.
4
00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:11,378
This is my first event
with the AARP,
5
00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:12,939
and they're, like, the gateway
6
00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:14,850
to the entire
retirement community.
7
00:00:14,851 --> 00:00:17,950
And those people spend their
money like there is no tomorrow.
8
00:00:17,951 --> 00:00:19,819
Because there isn't. (chuckles)
Oh!
9
00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:21,989
Guess what? I booked Charo.
10
00:00:21,990 --> 00:00:23,856
(gasps) What?!
She's still alive?
11
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,625
Yeah, she's just hanging out
in the lobby
12
00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:28,062
with her maracas saying
"Cuchi Cuchi!"
13
00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:31,031
So I said, "If you can
say that at the ballroom,
14
00:00:31,132 --> 00:00:32,599
"I will give you $500
15
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,590
and an all-you-can-eat
food voucher."
16
00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:37,171
Yay! Yay, yay,
yay, yay, yay, yay!
17
00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:39,540
(whooping) Hey.
(squeals)
18
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,342
Hey, hey,
is that your husband?
19
00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:42,592
NINA:
It is my husband.
20
00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:44,612
Ooh, such a hot tamale.
Cuchi! Cuchi!
21
00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:47,581
Cuchi! (whoops)
(Nina laughs)
22
00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:50,751
Well, things are going
pretty well over here.
23
00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:53,820
As you can see, I've got
most of the decorations set up
24
00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:55,723
for the slumber party.
NINA: Wow!
25
00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:58,359
They look great for you.
26
00:00:58,459 --> 00:00:59,693
Did you invite your dad?
27
00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:01,729
Ooh, I did better
than invite him.
28
00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:03,364
I didn't invite him.
29
00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:05,899
Junior.
It's Grandparent's Day.
30
00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:07,368
He has to be there.
31
00:01:07,369 --> 00:01:09,769
My dad's gonna be there,
your mom's gonna be there,
32
00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:11,704
and the kids are
making them surprises.
33
00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:12,755
I know.
34
00:01:12,756 --> 00:01:14,341
But you know my dad.
If I invite him,
35
00:01:14,342 --> 00:01:16,810
he's gonna say...
(mimics Poppa)"Mm. No."
36
00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:21,415
So I've been inception-ing him.
37
00:01:21,416 --> 00:01:22,849
Trying to get him pregnant?
38
00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:24,818
Yes. Pregnant with my ideas.
39
00:01:24,819 --> 00:01:27,354
You see, I've been inserting
subliminal key phrases
40
00:01:27,355 --> 00:01:30,057
that would prompt him to want
to go to the sleepover.
41
00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:32,593
Words like "slumber"
and "party."
42
00:01:32,594 --> 00:01:34,694
Did you also whisper
"Junior has a dumb idea"-
43
00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:35,995
put the banner higher-
44
00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:37,597
because you know he hates
this kind of stuff.
45
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,233
No. Relax, babe. I have a plan.
46
00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:42,403
By the way, do you like
the banner higher like this?
47
00:01:42,404 --> 00:01:44,036
I think it should
be higher, right?
48
00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:44,971
Yeah.
49
00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:46,240
It's a great idea-
50
00:01:46,374 --> 00:01:48,208
I might have
to stay another day-
51
00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:49,777
I miss you.
52
00:01:49,778 --> 00:01:52,679
I wish you were here, but I know
you have to stay another day.
53
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:53,947
Yeah.
54
00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:56,784
I wish- disown your mother-
I was there, too.
55
00:01:56,785 --> 00:01:58,285
You know, I was thinking
about disowning my m-
56
00:01:58,286 --> 00:01:59,587
Wait, what'd you say?
57
00:01:59,687 --> 00:02:02,456
Hmm? Oh, nothing.
I just- I said I love you.
58
00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:04,425
Okay. I love you, too. Well...
59
00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:08,028
I'm gonna go over there
right now and give this invite
60
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,431
to Ivy in front of my
father. (chuckles)
61
00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:13,267
He's gonna be so jealous
and curious.
62
00:02:13,268 --> 00:02:15,034
Sounds mature.
CHARO: Cuchi, cuchi!
63
00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:16,503
Oh, uh, speaking of mature...
(Charo's raspy voice) Yeah!
64
00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:18,338
...Charo's getting restless.
I got to go.
65
00:02:18,339 --> 00:02:19,473
I'll call you later.
66
00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:21,775
Okay. I love you, baby-
get taller- Bye.
67
00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:23,711
Bye! Wait, what?
68
00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:25,513
? Poppa's ?
69
00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:27,481
? House ?
70
00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:28,816
? Yeah. ?
71
00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:31,785
You know, right now,
my life is designed to only do
72
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:33,487
things that make me happy.
73
00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:35,856
And I'm sure
you're gonna elaborate. Yeah.
74
00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:37,391
I-I have a system.
75
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:39,960
I wake up at 4:00 a.m.
Have a little bit of coffee.
76
00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:43,431
I watch some sports.
Coffee moves the crowd.
77
00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:45,699
Take the Browns to the playoffs.
78
00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:48,536
Then I have a sardine McMuffin.
79
00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:49,803
Little more coffee.
80
00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:52,039
Take the Browns
to the Superbowl.
81
00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:54,190
Then I need a nap.
82
00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:56,075
After the nap,
we do the podcast.
83
00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:58,846
I take another nap,
then I have some dinner,
84
00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:01,014
and by then, it's time for bed.
85
00:03:01,148 --> 00:03:02,383
What are you, a bear?
86
00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:04,117
That is not sleep,
87
00:03:04,218 --> 00:03:05,519
that's hibernation.
88
00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:10,458
Well, my whole adult life
has been
89
00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:12,592
being on someone
else's schedule.
90
00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,495
You know how many naps
did I miss
91
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:18,766
going to recitals and
my ex-wife's family reunions?
92
00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:20,234
I hated everybody there.
93
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:23,170
Especially Lafonzo.
Who's Lafonzo?
94
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:24,372
Exactly.
95
00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:27,675
He's some distant
relative of my ex-wife,
96
00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:29,810
who would show up uninvited
97
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:32,045
and then tell
the worst stories ever.
98
00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:33,547
He'd say stuff like...
99
00:03:33,548 --> 00:03:36,015
(slow voice): "Uh,
to make a long story short,"
100
00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:38,018
and then he'd make
the story longer.
101
00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:40,220
Poppa, you just
don't like people.
102
00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:42,189
No, I love
the concept of people.
103
00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:44,658
But then there's Lafonzo.
104
00:03:44,659 --> 00:03:47,294
And I just don't want to be
bothered with anybody. (knock at window)
105
00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:49,362
Hey, Dad, uh, door's locked
for some reason.
106
00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:50,830
Yeah, you're the reason.
107
00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:52,799
Come on, Pop, I want
to ask you a question.
108
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,234
(quietly):
Be still.
109
00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:56,437
He's attracted to movement.
110
00:03:57,605 --> 00:04:00,073
Damn it. Where'd they go?
111
00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:06,280
? ?
112
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:14,054
(sighs)
113
00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:15,423
(high-pitched T. rex cry)
114
00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:19,827
(laughs)
115
00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,695
That was easy.
116
00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:23,797
(thumping, rattling)
117
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,570
He's coming.
118
00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:31,772
I sense he's already here.
119
00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:42,015
(pained shouting)
120
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,016
(bones cracking)
121
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:45,719
(groans)
122
00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:48,956
How did you get in here?
JUNIOR: It's a secret-
123
00:04:48,957 --> 00:04:50,189
come to my slumber party.
124
00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:51,291
By the way, uh,
125
00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:52,892
you need a new window
and a new drainpipe.
126
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:54,828
What do you want, D. rex?
127
00:04:54,928 --> 00:04:57,398
Uh, I just came here
to deliver this invitation
128
00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:59,767
to a very special event
that's happening
129
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:03,937
tonight to, oh, Dr. Ivy Reed.
130
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:05,305
(laughs)
131
00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:06,739
You want to give it to her?
No.
132
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:08,541
She's right over there.
Oh. Oh, okay.
133
00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:11,311
Thought you'd be
more curious about it. Mm-mm.
134
00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:13,781
Well... (chuckles)
135
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:16,917
Dr. Ivy Reed, we can't wait
to see you there.
136
00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:20,120
There'll be lots of fun,
lots of surprises.
137
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:23,190
You know, we got,
uh, story time...
138
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:25,158
...charades,
139
00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:26,460
karaoke...
140
00:05:26,594 --> 00:05:28,462
He's looking, he's looking.
141
00:05:29,229 --> 00:05:31,965
And a really super cool
surprise at the end.
142
00:05:31,966 --> 00:05:33,566
But I'm not gonna
tell you what it is.
143
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:35,301
And you can't tell
anybody because
144
00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:36,622
not everybody's invited,
145
00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:38,138
if you catch my drift.
146
00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:39,973
Oh, well, okay.
147
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:41,141
Thank you.
Mm-hmm.
148
00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:43,242
Look at that smile.
You're so excited.
149
00:05:43,243 --> 00:05:45,312
(laughs)
You're so...
150
00:05:45,313 --> 00:05:47,680
It's gonna be fun, yeah,
it's gonna be a lot of fun.
151
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,850
Well... (sighs)
152
00:05:49,851 --> 00:05:51,584
...gonna go finish setting
up my crazy fun day.
153
00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:55,355
You better not ask me what
it is, 'cause I ain't telling.
154
00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,892
Not one peep.
155
00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:01,127
Zip. (chuckles)
156
00:06:01,128 --> 00:06:03,497
Zip. I'm sorry, what?
What did you say?
157
00:06:03,498 --> 00:06:05,898
I'm sorry, you-you,
you want to know what it was?
158
00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:07,167
No.
No?
159
00:06:07,168 --> 00:06:08,468
Oh, I thought
I heard you say som- Mm.
160
00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:09,569
You didn't say anything?
161
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:10,738
Mm-mm.
162
00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:12,138
All right. Well, uh,
163
00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:15,909
I'll just, uh, see you tonight.
164
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:18,512
Boop!
(chuckling)
165
00:06:18,646 --> 00:06:19,696
Yes!
166
00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:20,848
Where are you going?
167
00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:22,683
Oh, to my house.
168
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:25,352
(branches rustling)
169
00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:35,195
IVY:
Wow, wow, wow.
170
00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:36,430
This is something.
171
00:06:36,431 --> 00:06:37,964
You're gonna want
to know about this.
172
00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:39,232
Nope.
173
00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:40,768
I'll give you a hint.
174
00:06:40,868 --> 00:06:42,803
No, please.
175
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,605
It concerns you.
176
00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:47,140
Still no.
177
00:06:47,141 --> 00:06:48,475
Okay, you're acting weird.
178
00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:49,743
What is going on?
179
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:52,079
Well, Junior is having
a slumber party,
180
00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:54,047
and he's not inviting me
181
00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:55,648
so I'll ask if I can come.
182
00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:57,283
Well, you can definitely come
because it says inside
183
00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:59,787
we're gonna cel-
I don't want to go.
184
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:02,790
He's inceptioning me.
185
00:07:02,791 --> 00:07:04,223
He's trying to get you pregnant?
186
00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:05,425
Yes.
187
00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:07,995
With his stupid ideas
about his slumber party.
188
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,996
Okay. You're
being ridiculous.
189
00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:11,599
And you're reading into this.
190
00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:13,300
(chuckles)
191
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:14,735
Am I?
192
00:07:14,835 --> 00:07:17,538
Okay, Poppa, you know you want
to go to the party.
193
00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:21,575
I do not want to go to the party
because he didn't invite me.
194
00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:24,678
And besides, slumber parties
ain't nothing but a racket.
195
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,446
Oh!
196
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:29,149
Hold up. Let me take
a crack at this.
197
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:31,350
(mimics Poppa):
Mm. You stay up late
198
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:34,121
because you're sleeping
on the floor
199
00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:36,389
but your actual bed's
upstairs, meh,
200
00:07:36,390 --> 00:07:38,925
and your pillows, they smell
like people's breath
201
00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:40,127
and kids' feet,
202
00:07:40,227 --> 00:07:42,996
meh, and you wake
up in a bad mood,
203
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:45,165
as per usual. Meh.
204
00:07:47,434 --> 00:07:49,302
All that, but funnier.
205
00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:52,606
? ?
206
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:53,974
? Yeah, yeah. ?
207
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:55,404
NINA:
So, how's it going?
208
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,844
It's going great.
209
00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:59,947
I gave Ivy the invitation
right in front of him, dude.
210
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,130
(laughs)
211
00:08:01,131 --> 00:08:02,582
You should've saw his face,
212
00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:04,284
he was salivating over it.
213
00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:06,754
(laughing) I put
a pillow in his fridge.
214
00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:09,022
It was so cold, I bet.
215
00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:11,491
He's hooked. He's coming.
216
00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:14,662
Well, I'm glad you're
having fun, baby. Bye.
217
00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:16,228
(nasal voice):
Bye!
218
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:18,398
Mr. Lafonzo,
219
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:22,670
may I ask, how exactly
are we related?
220
00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:25,472
Well, to make
a long story short...
221
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,107
...I'm your
grandmother's cousin's
222
00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:32,245
brother's uncle's nephew
223
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,847
once removed.
224
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:37,685
All right, everybody. Let's play
our first game, all right?
225
00:08:37,785 --> 00:08:40,721
It's my dad's favorite.
It's called Impression Sessions.
226
00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:41,921
Ooh, I'll go first.
227
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:44,057
See if you can guess
who this is.
228
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:48,528
I work at a foam roller company.
229
00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:50,397
I-I don't know. You?
230
00:08:50,497 --> 00:08:52,299
(mimics buzzer)
Wrong.
231
00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:53,967
I own a foam roller company.
232
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:57,337
No, I was doing you.
This is fun, right? (chuckles)
233
00:08:57,437 --> 00:08:58,771
But why do you have a hat on?
234
00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:00,207
To throw you off the scent.
235
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:02,375
Oh, I got a story about that.
236
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,612
The year was 1974.
237
00:09:05,613 --> 00:09:08,816
Elizabeth Taylor was
on husband number five...
238
00:09:08,817 --> 00:09:11,684
Uh, Lafonzo, why don't you
run down to the store
239
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:12,820
and get us a bag of ice?
240
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,153
Oh, speaking of ice-
241
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:15,388
Go!
242
00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:17,991
All right, I'll go get the ice.
243
00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:19,893
Be back in a flash.
244
00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:22,229
? ?
245
00:09:22,362 --> 00:09:24,732
(laughing)
246
00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:26,700
Their little plan is backfiring.
247
00:09:26,701 --> 00:09:28,200
They were trying
to make me jealous,
248
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:29,569
and then they got...
249
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:31,438
Lafonzoed.
250
00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:32,706
You are terrible.
251
00:09:32,707 --> 00:09:34,173
So, what?
You're just gonna stand there
252
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:35,976
and watch them have fun?
Yes!
253
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,444
That's my fun.
254
00:09:37,445 --> 00:09:40,079
Poppa, you need to stop
with this stupid game
255
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,114
and just go over there.
I'm not playing the game.
256
00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:43,383
He's playing the game.
257
00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:45,152
He gave you an invite, not me.
258
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:48,822
So until I get a formal
invitation, I'm not going.
259
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,690
Well, I am.
260
00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:53,826
'Cause it sounds like
they're having a good time.
261
00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:56,897
And I hope that you will
put on your big boy pants
262
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:59,266
and come join us.
263
00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:01,500
We'll see how you feel
after you get...
264
00:10:01,501 --> 00:10:03,103
Lafonzoed.
265
00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:05,605
He can't be that bad.
266
00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:07,026
So they told me to go get ice
267
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:09,442
and I tried,
but I couldn't find my keys.
268
00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:13,212
So I put on my
"looking for my keys" glasses.
269
00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:16,182
And guess what?
"Plot twist," I found them.
270
00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:18,485
They was in...
Okay, Lafonzo!
271
00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:20,688
Thank you!
272
00:10:20,788 --> 00:10:22,422
The ice, please.
273
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:24,992
Okay. Be back in a flash.
274
00:10:24,993 --> 00:10:26,425
Okay. No.
We're gonna do this door.
275
00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:28,296
This door.
That door's too far, okay?
276
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:33,100
Junior, what's Poppa doing?
277
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,768
Oh.
278
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:37,137
(both shout)
279
00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:40,841
He's taking the bait
and running with it.
280
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,209
(laughs) Okay.
281
00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:45,445
It's time to crank up
the jealousy meter.
282
00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:48,615
Maya? You're activated.
283
00:10:48,716 --> 00:10:50,517
MAYA:
I sure am.
284
00:10:52,953 --> 00:10:55,288
(low voice):
Who am I?
285
00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:57,758
Mm. Where are my sardines?
286
00:10:57,858 --> 00:10:58,925
Mm.
287
00:10:58,926 --> 00:11:00,493
I need a nap.
288
00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:01,677
Mm.
289
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:03,663
No, you can't get any ice cream
290
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,165
'cause I'm diabetic.
291
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:07,400
(laughter)
That's my dad.
292
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,970
He has diabetes.
293
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:12,039
That's a good Poppa.
294
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,043
They think I've taken
the bait. (chuckles)
295
00:11:16,044 --> 00:11:17,844
They're playing
the jealousy game,
296
00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:20,512
but what they don't know
is I invented the jealousy game.
297
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,149
Ain't that right, Pop...
Popcorn?
298
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:24,484
(distant barking)
299
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,322
(barking)
300
00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:32,960
Traitor.
301
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:36,429
You dirty little dog.
302
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:43,535
So, here's the plan.
Jealousy didn't work,
303
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,438
so now we need a negotiator.
304
00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:49,843
(JJ scoffs)
305
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:50,993
Well,
306
00:11:50,994 --> 00:11:52,711
I don't mean
to sound arrogant, but...
307
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:53,881
You always do, but go on.
308
00:11:53,981 --> 00:11:57,017
...I am the world's
best negotiator, okay?
309
00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:58,517
If I get in the door,
310
00:11:58,518 --> 00:12:00,120
I've won.
311
00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:04,691
Hey.
Hey, Oompa-Loompa.
312
00:12:04,692 --> 00:12:06,759
They let you out
of the chocolate factory?
313
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:09,361
Well, at least I can eat
chocolate without losing a foot.
314
00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:11,098
(laughs)
315
00:12:11,198 --> 00:12:12,299
"Good one, JJ."
316
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,089
That was a good one.
Why, thank you.
317
00:12:14,090 --> 00:12:15,701
Why are you here?
Oh, just to make a peace offering, man.
318
00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:19,106
I-I brought a bottle
of my finest
319
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,941
single malt
scotch. Now... Mm.
320
00:12:20,942 --> 00:12:22,875
...why don't you just, uh,
let me inside,
321
00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:25,612
and, uh, we'll talk about this
like a couple of men?
322
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:30,117
Well, the problem is, there's
only one man here and that's me.
323
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,620
Is that Limburger
cheese I smell?
324
00:12:33,621 --> 00:12:35,021
Mm, yes, it is.
How did you know
325
00:12:35,022 --> 00:12:36,422
I had a weakness for it?
326
00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:38,290
Because you always smell
like the cheese
327
00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:40,327
on the baby's neck.
328
00:12:41,962 --> 00:12:44,164
This one is an '88.
329
00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:46,133
An '88, you say?
Yeah.
330
00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:48,168
I-Is that how cheese works?
Yeah.
331
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:49,568
It's like your scotch.
332
00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:51,671
The older it is,
the better it tastes.
333
00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:54,907
Well, it smells like a locker
room after a kung fu class,
334
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:56,143
so it must be good.
335
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,443
Yeah.
336
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,579
Hey, would you like some?
337
00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:02,649
(scoffs)
Does a baby want a bottle?
338
00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,752
Ooh! Hey!
339
00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:07,920
Man. You missed.
340
00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:09,522
Sorry.
341
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,024
My God!
342
00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:12,993
That cheese is delicious.
343
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:17,264
I tell you what,
I'll trade you my cheese...
344
00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:19,332
Uh-huh?
...for your scotch.
345
00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:21,935
Done and done.
Okay. On the three.
346
00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:24,303
One, two, three.
347
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,605
Ah.
348
00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:27,841
Sucker.
349
00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:29,542
Yep.
350
00:13:33,847 --> 00:13:35,048
Ha, ha!
351
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:38,685
What is that god-awful stench?
352
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,421
That's the smell of victory.
(laughs)
353
00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,057
I won the negotiation.
354
00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:46,625
Then where is Poppa?
355
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:48,127
Who cares?
356
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:49,529
Smell this cheese.
357
00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:51,663
Ooh...
No! JUNIOR: Stop wafting it!
358
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,566
I-It's an '88.
359
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,402
It smells like death.
360
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,336
That's how you know it's good.
361
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,940
You were supposed
to bring my dad over here.
362
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,474
Oh. Damn it. Oh, y-you're right.
363
00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:05,712
In my delirium,
I completely forgot.
364
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,481
Well, that didn't work.
365
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:10,849
Now it's time
to bring out the big guns.
366
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,152
We need a dragon.
367
00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:14,487
I have arrived.
368
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:16,022
Dracarys.
369
00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:17,156
Ah!
370
00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:18,425
(laughs)
371
00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:23,630
Hello, my has-been.
372
00:14:24,831 --> 00:14:26,066
Look, why
373
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:27,834
are you here?
I came over here
374
00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:30,502
to demand that you come
to Junior's slumber party.
375
00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:31,571
Mm, no.
376
00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:32,839
(scoffs)
377
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:34,473
You know, we are all
so tired of you
378
00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:38,578
saying "Mm, no" again
and again and again.
379
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:41,915
I don't always say no to Junior.
Oh.
380
00:14:41,916 --> 00:14:43,015
What about the time
that he asked you
381
00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:44,350
to come to his baseball games?
382
00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:46,686
Well, he sucked at baseball.
383
00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:49,388
Had he been Aaron Judge,
I'd have been at every game.
384
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:52,125
Okay, what about his
kindergarten graduation?
385
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:55,061
He sucked at kindergarten, too.
386
00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:58,431
He still thinks L-M-N-O-P
is one letter.
387
00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:02,269
You never came
to any of his school plays.
388
00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:04,604
Because he sucked.
389
00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:06,506
They used to cast him
as the wind.
390
00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:09,376
Yes, in Gone with the Wind.
391
00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:11,543
It was the lead.
392
00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:13,346
Frankly, Catherine,
393
00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:15,382
I don't give a damn.
394
00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:16,582
(sighs)
395
00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:19,286
And why don't you be
Gone with the Wind?
396
00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:21,621
You know, why don't
you just blow on over
397
00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:23,456
to Junior's with me?
398
00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:26,793
I will say it again
399
00:15:26,893 --> 00:15:29,829
so that you will understand.
Mm-hmm.
400
00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:32,499
If he asks me to go,
401
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,134
I will consider it.
402
00:15:34,135 --> 00:15:36,068
Has anyone ever told you
that you're a low-down,
403
00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:38,070
rotten, dirty snake
in the grass?
404
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:40,939
Yes, you, in divorce court.
405
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,709
Mm, goodbye, Catherine.
406
00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:44,177
(sighs)
407
00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:47,314
Well, he slayed our dragon.
408
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,516
Boy, you better pick me up.
409
00:15:49,517 --> 00:15:53,485
JUNIOR:
Didn't want it to have to come to this,
410
00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:54,854
but he's left me no choice.
411
00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:56,523
Maya, Trey?
412
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,064
You're our last and best hope.
413
00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:00,327
We got this, Dad.
414
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,996
We'll bend him to our will.
415
00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:07,434
Hmm.
416
00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:10,870
BOTH:
We surrender!
417
00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:13,540
Traitors!
418
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,408
Y'all are traitors!
419
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,213
To the gallows.
420
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:24,584
Junior, how long
is this gonna go on?
421
00:16:24,585 --> 00:16:26,785
Okay? One of you has to be
the bigger person.
422
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,055
Why don't you be him?
423
00:16:28,155 --> 00:16:31,024
I don't want to be
the bigger person.
424
00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:34,394
(sighs)
Fine. I'll go invite him.
425
00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:36,563
But I already know
what he's gonna say.
426
00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:38,765
Yes.
427
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:41,283
"Yes"?
428
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:42,869
After all the drama,
429
00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:45,205
after the cheese
and the stealing my kids
430
00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:46,838
and the slaying my dragon?
431
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,975
After all that,
you just say yes?
432
00:16:49,076 --> 00:16:50,610
Yes.
No.
433
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,010
You can't say yes,
434
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,879
because then that makes me
look crazy.
435
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,182
Yes.
Stop saying that!
436
00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:57,517
Why?
437
00:16:57,617 --> 00:16:59,219
E-S.
438
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:02,222
(mouths)
Damn it, Dad, come on.
439
00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:03,423
Look,
440
00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,558
I told you,
if you just invited me,
441
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:08,261
I would consider it
and give you my answer,
442
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,862
and my answer is-
don't be mad- yes.
443
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:13,266
I-I just don't want
to be mad anymore.
444
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:14,666
Here's your pajamas.
445
00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:16,069
Thank you.
446
00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:17,470
(mouthing)
447
00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:23,042
All right, let's go.
448
00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:24,543
Glad you finally bent the knee.
449
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,579
Bent the...
Come on, man.
450
00:17:26,580 --> 00:17:28,414
You couldn't just take the win?
You had to rub it in?
451
00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:30,417
Rubbing it in
is the fun part for me.
452
00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:32,184
Well, not for me it isn't.
Look,
453
00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:33,552
I'm excited to go.
454
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,187
I didn't want you to think
that your, uh,
455
00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:37,424
inception plan
was ever gonna work.
456
00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:39,626
Damn it, Dad,
what is wrong with you?
457
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:41,161
Why are you like this?
458
00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:45,064
Look, when I was a kid,
459
00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:47,199
I spent years in and
out of the hospital
460
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,969
getting my clubfoot corrected.
461
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:51,371
And when they were done,
462
00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:53,873
they gave me this
big-ass shoe to wear.
463
00:17:53,874 --> 00:17:55,407
And I didn't like
being around other kids
464
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:57,477
because they would laugh at me.
465
00:17:57,577 --> 00:18:00,212
So I learned to be by myself,
466
00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:01,981
to entertain myself
467
00:18:01,982 --> 00:18:03,315
and be my own
best friend.
468
00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:04,826
So when you
didn't invite me,
469
00:18:04,827 --> 00:18:07,085
it kind of brought up some
of those painful memories.
470
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,920
Oh, Dad, that was never
my intention.
471
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:10,190
I...
472
00:18:10,191 --> 00:18:12,391
(sighs) I was just sure
you were gonna say no
473
00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:15,295
'cause you always do, and
I didn't want to get rejected.
474
00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:19,499
I guess you get
your fear of rejection from me.
475
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:22,669
That and your little ankles.
476
00:18:22,670 --> 00:18:24,903
Ready to go have some fun?
477
00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:26,173
Mm, no.
478
00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:29,509
But I will. Come on.
479
00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:32,778
CATHERINE:
So, the year was
480
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:36,282
1989, and I was three months
pregnant with Junior.
481
00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:39,852
Hey, man, she just drones on
and on and on and on
482
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,954
and on and on, doesn't she?
483
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:43,990
(laughs): Right?
She's such a...
484
00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:46,193
That's my mother.
485
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:48,760
Hey, Pop.
486
00:18:48,761 --> 00:18:50,663
Admit it. You're
having a good time.
487
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:52,499
It's fun.
488
00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:56,435
But I'm glad it's a slumber
party because I'm tired.
489
00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:59,771
What is it, like,
10:00 or something like that?
490
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:01,208
It's 5:30.
491
00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:06,012
And we have a little
surprise for you.
492
00:19:06,112 --> 00:19:07,647
For me?
Yeah, go sit. Have a sit.
493
00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:10,350
Have a sit, yeah.
Have a sit.
494
00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:12,519
Okay.
495
00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:15,329
All right, now close your eyes
and hold out your hands.
496
00:19:15,330 --> 00:19:17,256
Now open them.
497
00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:18,358
MAYA:
Poppa,
498
00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:20,208
on Grandparent's Day...
(gasps) Wow.
499
00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:21,961
...we present you
with this crown.
500
00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:24,096
TREY:
You're the grandest parent
501
00:19:24,097 --> 00:19:25,831
of all.
(Catherine clears throat)
502
00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:27,867
I'm sitting right here.
503
00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:29,569
Yours is coming.
504
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,838
Is why you guys wanted me
to come to this?
505
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:35,074
ALL:
Yes!
506
00:19:35,075 --> 00:19:37,008
Well, somebody
should've said something.
507
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,144
Oh, my goodness.
IVY: You got to be kidding me.
508
00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:40,646
We've been trying...
Okay, okay,
509
00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:42,349
my turn, my t- excuse me, now.
510
00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:46,118
All right, all right,
ready for my crown.
511
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:48,154
Crown me.
512
00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:49,356
Speaking of crowns...
513
00:19:49,456 --> 00:19:50,723
What?
514
00:19:50,724 --> 00:19:52,758
Uh...
That reminds me of a time I was in Africa.
515
00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:56,862
Hey. Hey, y'all!
It was the Mozambique-Botswana basketball...
516
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:59,098
? ?
517
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,768
? We are family ?
518
00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:06,339
? I got all my sisters with me ?
519
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,942
? We are family ?
520
00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:14,113
? Get up, everybody, and sing ?
521
00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:18,451
? We are family
? Everything, you and the things you do ?
522
00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:21,821
? Hey, hey
? I got all my sisters with me ?
523
00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:23,722
? Oh, yeah, yeah ?
524
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,393
? We are family... ?
525
00:20:28,488 --> 00:20:32,564
Marker.
Hold up, let me take a crack at this.
526
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,501
(high-pitched):
Mm. You stay up late
527
00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:36,067
because your actual bed-
528
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,769
(regular pitch):
"You're sleeping on the floor."
529
00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:40,238
Hold up, let me take
a crack at this.
530
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:43,175
(high-pitched):
Mm. You try to...
531
00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:44,966
(regular pitch):
(bleep) Sorry.
532
00:20:46,313 --> 00:20:48,681
So what I'm hearing you say is
533
00:20:48,815 --> 00:20:51,017
it's time for plan B.
534
00:20:54,186 --> 00:20:56,022
Not that kind.
535
00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:07,600
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
536
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:11,338
and TOYOTA.
537
00:21:11,438 --> 00:21:15,875
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
538
00:21:15,925 --> 00:21:20,475
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
36924
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.