All language subtitles for Poppas House s01e12 Slumber Party.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,771 --> 00:00:05,706 Hey, babe. How's Boca Raton? 2 00:00:05,707 --> 00:00:08,241 NINA (over FaceTime): Old. And I'm sorry I'm not there, 3 00:00:08,242 --> 00:00:09,609 but I could not turn this down. 4 00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:11,378 This is my first event with the AARP, 5 00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:12,939 and they're, like, the gateway 6 00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:14,850 to the entire retirement community. 7 00:00:14,851 --> 00:00:17,950 And those people spend their money like there is no tomorrow. 8 00:00:17,951 --> 00:00:19,819 Because there isn't. (chuckles) Oh! 9 00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:21,989 Guess what? I booked Charo. 10 00:00:21,990 --> 00:00:23,856 (gasps) What?! She's still alive? 11 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,625 Yeah, she's just hanging out in the lobby 12 00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:28,062 with her maracas saying "Cuchi Cuchi!" 13 00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:31,031 So I said, "If you can say that at the ballroom, 14 00:00:31,132 --> 00:00:32,599 "I will give you $500 15 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,590 and an all-you-can-eat food voucher." 16 00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:37,171 Yay! Yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay! 17 00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:39,540 (whooping) Hey. (squeals) 18 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,342 Hey, hey, is that your husband? 19 00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:42,592 NINA: It is my husband. 20 00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:44,612 Ooh, such a hot tamale. Cuchi! Cuchi! 21 00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:47,581 Cuchi! (whoops) (Nina laughs) 22 00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:50,751 Well, things are going pretty well over here. 23 00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:53,820 As you can see, I've got most of the decorations set up 24 00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:55,723 for the slumber party. NINA: Wow! 25 00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:58,359 They look great for you. 26 00:00:58,459 --> 00:00:59,693 Did you invite your dad? 27 00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:01,729 Ooh, I did better than invite him. 28 00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:03,364 I didn't invite him. 29 00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:05,899 Junior. It's Grandparent's Day. 30 00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:07,368 He has to be there. 31 00:01:07,369 --> 00:01:09,769 My dad's gonna be there, your mom's gonna be there, 32 00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:11,704 and the kids are making them surprises. 33 00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:12,755 I know. 34 00:01:12,756 --> 00:01:14,341 But you know my dad. If I invite him, 35 00:01:14,342 --> 00:01:16,810 he's gonna say... (mimics Poppa)"Mm. No." 36 00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:21,415 So I've been inception-ing him. 37 00:01:21,416 --> 00:01:22,849 Trying to get him pregnant? 38 00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:24,818 Yes. Pregnant with my ideas. 39 00:01:24,819 --> 00:01:27,354 You see, I've been inserting subliminal key phrases 40 00:01:27,355 --> 00:01:30,057 that would prompt him to want to go to the sleepover. 41 00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:32,593 Words like "slumber" and "party." 42 00:01:32,594 --> 00:01:34,694 Did you also whisper "Junior has a dumb idea"- 43 00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:35,995 put the banner higher- 44 00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:37,597 because you know he hates this kind of stuff. 45 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,233 No. Relax, babe. I have a plan. 46 00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:42,403 By the way, do you like the banner higher like this? 47 00:01:42,404 --> 00:01:44,036 I think it should be higher, right? 48 00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:44,971 Yeah. 49 00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:46,240 It's a great idea- 50 00:01:46,374 --> 00:01:48,208 I might have to stay another day- 51 00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:49,777 I miss you. 52 00:01:49,778 --> 00:01:52,679 I wish you were here, but I know you have to stay another day. 53 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:53,947 Yeah. 54 00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:56,784 I wish- disown your mother- I was there, too. 55 00:01:56,785 --> 00:01:58,285 You know, I was thinking about disowning my m- 56 00:01:58,286 --> 00:01:59,587 Wait, what'd you say? 57 00:01:59,687 --> 00:02:02,456 Hmm? Oh, nothing. I just- I said I love you. 58 00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:04,425 Okay. I love you, too. Well... 59 00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:08,028 I'm gonna go over there right now and give this invite 60 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,431 to Ivy in front of my father. (chuckles) 61 00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:13,267 He's gonna be so jealous and curious. 62 00:02:13,268 --> 00:02:15,034 Sounds mature. CHARO: Cuchi, cuchi! 63 00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:16,503 Oh, uh, speaking of mature... (Charo's raspy voice) Yeah! 64 00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:18,338 ...Charo's getting restless. I got to go. 65 00:02:18,339 --> 00:02:19,473 I'll call you later. 66 00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:21,775 Okay. I love you, baby- get taller- Bye. 67 00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:23,711 Bye! Wait, what? 68 00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:25,513 ? Poppa's ? 69 00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:27,481 ? House ? 70 00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:28,816 ? Yeah. ? 71 00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:31,785 You know, right now, my life is designed to only do 72 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:33,487 things that make me happy. 73 00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:35,856 And I'm sure you're gonna elaborate. Yeah. 74 00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:37,391 I-I have a system. 75 00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:39,960 I wake up at 4:00 a.m. Have a little bit of coffee. 76 00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:43,431 I watch some sports. Coffee moves the crowd. 77 00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:45,699 Take the Browns to the playoffs. 78 00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:48,536 Then I have a sardine McMuffin. 79 00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:49,803 Little more coffee. 80 00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:52,039 Take the Browns to the Superbowl. 81 00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:54,190 Then I need a nap. 82 00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:56,075 After the nap, we do the podcast. 83 00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:58,846 I take another nap, then I have some dinner, 84 00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:01,014 and by then, it's time for bed. 85 00:03:01,148 --> 00:03:02,383 What are you, a bear? 86 00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:04,117 That is not sleep, 87 00:03:04,218 --> 00:03:05,519 that's hibernation. 88 00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:10,458 Well, my whole adult life has been 89 00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:12,592 being on someone else's schedule. 90 00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,495 You know how many naps did I miss 91 00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:18,766 going to recitals and my ex-wife's family reunions? 92 00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:20,234 I hated everybody there. 93 00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:23,170 Especially Lafonzo. Who's Lafonzo? 94 00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:24,372 Exactly. 95 00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:27,675 He's some distant relative of my ex-wife, 96 00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:29,810 who would show up uninvited 97 00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:32,045 and then tell the worst stories ever. 98 00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:33,547 He'd say stuff like... 99 00:03:33,548 --> 00:03:36,015 (slow voice): "Uh, to make a long story short," 100 00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:38,018 and then he'd make the story longer. 101 00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:40,220 Poppa, you just don't like people. 102 00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:42,189 No, I love the concept of people. 103 00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:44,658 But then there's Lafonzo. 104 00:03:44,659 --> 00:03:47,294 And I just don't want to be bothered with anybody. (knock at window) 105 00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:49,362 Hey, Dad, uh, door's locked for some reason. 106 00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:50,830 Yeah, you're the reason. 107 00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:52,799 Come on, Pop, I want to ask you a question. 108 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,234 (quietly): Be still. 109 00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:56,437 He's attracted to movement. 110 00:03:57,605 --> 00:04:00,073 Damn it. Where'd they go? 111 00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:06,280 ? ? 112 00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:14,054 (sighs) 113 00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:15,423 (high-pitched T. rex cry) 114 00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:19,827 (laughs) 115 00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,695 That was easy. 116 00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:23,797 (thumping, rattling) 117 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,570 He's coming. 118 00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:31,772 I sense he's already here. 119 00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:42,015 (pained shouting) 120 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,016 (bones cracking) 121 00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:45,719 (groans) 122 00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:48,956 How did you get in here? JUNIOR: It's a secret- 123 00:04:48,957 --> 00:04:50,189 come to my slumber party. 124 00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:51,291 By the way, uh, 125 00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:52,892 you need a new window and a new drainpipe. 126 00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:54,828 What do you want, D. rex? 127 00:04:54,928 --> 00:04:57,398 Uh, I just came here to deliver this invitation 128 00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:59,767 to a very special event that's happening 129 00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:03,937 tonight to, oh, Dr. Ivy Reed. 130 00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:05,305 (laughs) 131 00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:06,739 You want to give it to her? No. 132 00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:08,541 She's right over there. Oh. Oh, okay. 133 00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:11,311 Thought you'd be more curious about it. Mm-mm. 134 00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:13,781 Well... (chuckles) 135 00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:16,917 Dr. Ivy Reed, we can't wait to see you there. 136 00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:20,120 There'll be lots of fun, lots of surprises. 137 00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:23,190 You know, we got, uh, story time... 138 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:25,158 ...charades, 139 00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:26,460 karaoke... 140 00:05:26,594 --> 00:05:28,462 He's looking, he's looking. 141 00:05:29,229 --> 00:05:31,965 And a really super cool surprise at the end. 142 00:05:31,966 --> 00:05:33,566 But I'm not gonna tell you what it is. 143 00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:35,301 And you can't tell anybody because 144 00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:36,622 not everybody's invited, 145 00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:38,138 if you catch my drift. 146 00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:39,973 Oh, well, okay. 147 00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:41,141 Thank you. Mm-hmm. 148 00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:43,242 Look at that smile. You're so excited. 149 00:05:43,243 --> 00:05:45,312 (laughs) You're so... 150 00:05:45,313 --> 00:05:47,680 It's gonna be fun, yeah, it's gonna be a lot of fun. 151 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,850 Well... (sighs) 152 00:05:49,851 --> 00:05:51,584 ...gonna go finish setting up my crazy fun day. 153 00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:55,355 You better not ask me what it is, 'cause I ain't telling. 154 00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,892 Not one peep. 155 00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:01,127 Zip. (chuckles) 156 00:06:01,128 --> 00:06:03,497 Zip. I'm sorry, what? What did you say? 157 00:06:03,498 --> 00:06:05,898 I'm sorry, you-you, you want to know what it was? 158 00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:07,167 No. No? 159 00:06:07,168 --> 00:06:08,468 Oh, I thought I heard you say som- Mm. 160 00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:09,569 You didn't say anything? 161 00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:10,738 Mm-mm. 162 00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:12,138 All right. Well, uh, 163 00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:15,909 I'll just, uh, see you tonight. 164 00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:18,512 Boop! (chuckling) 165 00:06:18,646 --> 00:06:19,696 Yes! 166 00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:20,848 Where are you going? 167 00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:22,683 Oh, to my house. 168 00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:25,352 (branches rustling) 169 00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:35,195 IVY: Wow, wow, wow. 170 00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:36,430 This is something. 171 00:06:36,431 --> 00:06:37,964 You're gonna want to know about this. 172 00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:39,232 Nope. 173 00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:40,768 I'll give you a hint. 174 00:06:40,868 --> 00:06:42,803 No, please. 175 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,605 It concerns you. 176 00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:47,140 Still no. 177 00:06:47,141 --> 00:06:48,475 Okay, you're acting weird. 178 00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:49,743 What is going on? 179 00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:52,079 Well, Junior is having a slumber party, 180 00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:54,047 and he's not inviting me 181 00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:55,648 so I'll ask if I can come. 182 00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:57,283 Well, you can definitely come because it says inside 183 00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:59,787 we're gonna cel- I don't want to go. 184 00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:02,790 He's inceptioning me. 185 00:07:02,791 --> 00:07:04,223 He's trying to get you pregnant? 186 00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:05,425 Yes. 187 00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:07,995 With his stupid ideas about his slumber party. 188 00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,996 Okay. You're being ridiculous. 189 00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:11,599 And you're reading into this. 190 00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:13,300 (chuckles) 191 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:14,735 Am I? 192 00:07:14,835 --> 00:07:17,538 Okay, Poppa, you know you want to go to the party. 193 00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:21,575 I do not want to go to the party because he didn't invite me. 194 00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:24,678 And besides, slumber parties ain't nothing but a racket. 195 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,446 Oh! 196 00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:29,149 Hold up. Let me take a crack at this. 197 00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:31,350 (mimics Poppa): Mm. You stay up late 198 00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:34,121 because you're sleeping on the floor 199 00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:36,389 but your actual bed's upstairs, meh, 200 00:07:36,390 --> 00:07:38,925 and your pillows, they smell like people's breath 201 00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:40,127 and kids' feet, 202 00:07:40,227 --> 00:07:42,996 meh, and you wake up in a bad mood, 203 00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:45,165 as per usual. Meh. 204 00:07:47,434 --> 00:07:49,302 All that, but funnier. 205 00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:52,606 ? ? 206 00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:53,974 ? Yeah, yeah. ? 207 00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:55,404 NINA: So, how's it going? 208 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,844 It's going great. 209 00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:59,947 I gave Ivy the invitation right in front of him, dude. 210 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,130 (laughs) 211 00:08:01,131 --> 00:08:02,582 You should've saw his face, 212 00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:04,284 he was salivating over it. 213 00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:06,754 (laughing) I put a pillow in his fridge. 214 00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:09,022 It was so cold, I bet. 215 00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:11,491 He's hooked. He's coming. 216 00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:14,662 Well, I'm glad you're having fun, baby. Bye. 217 00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:16,228 (nasal voice): Bye! 218 00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:18,398 Mr. Lafonzo, 219 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:22,670 may I ask, how exactly are we related? 220 00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:25,472 Well, to make a long story short... 221 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,107 ...I'm your grandmother's cousin's 222 00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:32,245 brother's uncle's nephew 223 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,847 once removed. 224 00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:37,685 All right, everybody. Let's play our first game, all right? 225 00:08:37,785 --> 00:08:40,721 It's my dad's favorite. It's called Impression Sessions. 226 00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:41,921 Ooh, I'll go first. 227 00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:44,057 See if you can guess who this is. 228 00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:48,528 I work at a foam roller company. 229 00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:50,397 I-I don't know. You? 230 00:08:50,497 --> 00:08:52,299 (mimics buzzer) Wrong. 231 00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:53,967 I own a foam roller company. 232 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:57,337 No, I was doing you. This is fun, right? (chuckles) 233 00:08:57,437 --> 00:08:58,771 But why do you have a hat on? 234 00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:00,207 To throw you off the scent. 235 00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:02,375 Oh, I got a story about that. 236 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,612 The year was 1974. 237 00:09:05,613 --> 00:09:08,816 Elizabeth Taylor was on husband number five... 238 00:09:08,817 --> 00:09:11,684 Uh, Lafonzo, why don't you run down to the store 239 00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:12,820 and get us a bag of ice? 240 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,153 Oh, speaking of ice- 241 00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:15,388 Go! 242 00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:17,991 All right, I'll go get the ice. 243 00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:19,893 Be back in a flash. 244 00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:22,229 ? ? 245 00:09:22,362 --> 00:09:24,732 (laughing) 246 00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:26,700 Their little plan is backfiring. 247 00:09:26,701 --> 00:09:28,200 They were trying to make me jealous, 248 00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:29,569 and then they got... 249 00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:31,438 Lafonzoed. 250 00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:32,706 You are terrible. 251 00:09:32,707 --> 00:09:34,173 So, what? You're just gonna stand there 252 00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:35,976 and watch them have fun? Yes! 253 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,444 That's my fun. 254 00:09:37,445 --> 00:09:40,079 Poppa, you need to stop with this stupid game 255 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,114 and just go over there. I'm not playing the game. 256 00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:43,383 He's playing the game. 257 00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:45,152 He gave you an invite, not me. 258 00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:48,822 So until I get a formal invitation, I'm not going. 259 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,690 Well, I am. 260 00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:53,826 'Cause it sounds like they're having a good time. 261 00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:56,897 And I hope that you will put on your big boy pants 262 00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:59,266 and come join us. 263 00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:01,500 We'll see how you feel after you get... 264 00:10:01,501 --> 00:10:03,103 Lafonzoed. 265 00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:05,605 He can't be that bad. 266 00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:07,026 So they told me to go get ice 267 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:09,442 and I tried, but I couldn't find my keys. 268 00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:13,212 So I put on my "looking for my keys" glasses. 269 00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:16,182 And guess what? "Plot twist," I found them. 270 00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:18,485 They was in... Okay, Lafonzo! 271 00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:20,688 Thank you! 272 00:10:20,788 --> 00:10:22,422 The ice, please. 273 00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:24,992 Okay. Be back in a flash. 274 00:10:24,993 --> 00:10:26,425 Okay. No. We're gonna do this door. 275 00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:28,296 This door. That door's too far, okay? 276 00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:33,100 Junior, what's Poppa doing? 277 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,768 Oh. 278 00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:37,137 (both shout) 279 00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:40,841 He's taking the bait and running with it. 280 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,209 (laughs) Okay. 281 00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:45,445 It's time to crank up the jealousy meter. 282 00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:48,615 Maya? You're activated. 283 00:10:48,716 --> 00:10:50,517 MAYA: I sure am. 284 00:10:52,953 --> 00:10:55,288 (low voice): Who am I? 285 00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:57,758 Mm. Where are my sardines? 286 00:10:57,858 --> 00:10:58,925 Mm. 287 00:10:58,926 --> 00:11:00,493 I need a nap. 288 00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:01,677 Mm. 289 00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:03,663 No, you can't get any ice cream 290 00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,165 'cause I'm diabetic. 291 00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:07,400 (laughter) That's my dad. 292 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,970 He has diabetes. 293 00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:12,039 That's a good Poppa. 294 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,043 They think I've taken the bait. (chuckles) 295 00:11:16,044 --> 00:11:17,844 They're playing the jealousy game, 296 00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:20,512 but what they don't know is I invented the jealousy game. 297 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,149 Ain't that right, Pop... Popcorn? 298 00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:24,484 (distant barking) 299 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,322 (barking) 300 00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:32,960 Traitor. 301 00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:36,429 You dirty little dog. 302 00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:43,535 So, here's the plan. Jealousy didn't work, 303 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,438 so now we need a negotiator. 304 00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:49,843 (JJ scoffs) 305 00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:50,993 Well, 306 00:11:50,994 --> 00:11:52,711 I don't mean to sound arrogant, but... 307 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:53,881 You always do, but go on. 308 00:11:53,981 --> 00:11:57,017 ...I am the world's best negotiator, okay? 309 00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:58,517 If I get in the door, 310 00:11:58,518 --> 00:12:00,120 I've won. 311 00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:04,691 Hey. Hey, Oompa-Loompa. 312 00:12:04,692 --> 00:12:06,759 They let you out of the chocolate factory? 313 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:09,361 Well, at least I can eat chocolate without losing a foot. 314 00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:11,098 (laughs) 315 00:12:11,198 --> 00:12:12,299 "Good one, JJ." 316 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,089 That was a good one. Why, thank you. 317 00:12:14,090 --> 00:12:15,701 Why are you here? Oh, just to make a peace offering, man. 318 00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:19,106 I-I brought a bottle of my finest 319 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,941 single malt scotch. Now... Mm. 320 00:12:20,942 --> 00:12:22,875 ...why don't you just, uh, let me inside, 321 00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:25,612 and, uh, we'll talk about this like a couple of men? 322 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:30,117 Well, the problem is, there's only one man here and that's me. 323 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,620 Is that Limburger cheese I smell? 324 00:12:33,621 --> 00:12:35,021 Mm, yes, it is. How did you know 325 00:12:35,022 --> 00:12:36,422 I had a weakness for it? 326 00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:38,290 Because you always smell like the cheese 327 00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:40,327 on the baby's neck. 328 00:12:41,962 --> 00:12:44,164 This one is an '88. 329 00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:46,133 An '88, you say? Yeah. 330 00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:48,168 I-Is that how cheese works? Yeah. 331 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:49,568 It's like your scotch. 332 00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:51,671 The older it is, the better it tastes. 333 00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:54,907 Well, it smells like a locker room after a kung fu class, 334 00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:56,143 so it must be good. 335 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,443 Yeah. 336 00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,579 Hey, would you like some? 337 00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:02,649 (scoffs) Does a baby want a bottle? 338 00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,752 Ooh! Hey! 339 00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:07,920 Man. You missed. 340 00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:09,522 Sorry. 341 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,024 My God! 342 00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:12,993 That cheese is delicious. 343 00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:17,264 I tell you what, I'll trade you my cheese... 344 00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:19,332 Uh-huh? ...for your scotch. 345 00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:21,935 Done and done. Okay. On the three. 346 00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:24,303 One, two, three. 347 00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,605 Ah. 348 00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:27,841 Sucker. 349 00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:29,542 Yep. 350 00:13:33,847 --> 00:13:35,048 Ha, ha! 351 00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:38,685 What is that god-awful stench? 352 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,421 That's the smell of victory. (laughs) 353 00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,057 I won the negotiation. 354 00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:46,625 Then where is Poppa? 355 00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:48,127 Who cares? 356 00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:49,529 Smell this cheese. 357 00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:51,663 Ooh... No! JUNIOR: Stop wafting it! 358 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,566 I-It's an '88. 359 00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,402 It smells like death. 360 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,336 That's how you know it's good. 361 00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,940 You were supposed to bring my dad over here. 362 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,474 Oh. Damn it. Oh, y-you're right. 363 00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:05,712 In my delirium, I completely forgot. 364 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,481 Well, that didn't work. 365 00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:10,849 Now it's time to bring out the big guns. 366 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,152 We need a dragon. 367 00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:14,487 I have arrived. 368 00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:16,022 Dracarys. 369 00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:17,156 Ah! 370 00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:18,425 (laughs) 371 00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:23,630 Hello, my has-been. 372 00:14:24,831 --> 00:14:26,066 Look, why 373 00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:27,834 are you here? I came over here 374 00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:30,502 to demand that you come to Junior's slumber party. 375 00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:31,571 Mm, no. 376 00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:32,839 (scoffs) 377 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:34,473 You know, we are all so tired of you 378 00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:38,578 saying "Mm, no" again and again and again. 379 00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:41,915 I don't always say no to Junior. Oh. 380 00:14:41,916 --> 00:14:43,015 What about the time that he asked you 381 00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:44,350 to come to his baseball games? 382 00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:46,686 Well, he sucked at baseball. 383 00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:49,388 Had he been Aaron Judge, I'd have been at every game. 384 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:52,125 Okay, what about his kindergarten graduation? 385 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:55,061 He sucked at kindergarten, too. 386 00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:58,431 He still thinks L-M-N-O-P is one letter. 387 00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:02,269 You never came to any of his school plays. 388 00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:04,604 Because he sucked. 389 00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:06,506 They used to cast him as the wind. 390 00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:09,376 Yes, in Gone with the Wind. 391 00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:11,543 It was the lead. 392 00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:13,346 Frankly, Catherine, 393 00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:15,382 I don't give a damn. 394 00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:16,582 (sighs) 395 00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:19,286 And why don't you be Gone with the Wind? 396 00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:21,621 You know, why don't you just blow on over 397 00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:23,456 to Junior's with me? 398 00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:26,793 I will say it again 399 00:15:26,893 --> 00:15:29,829 so that you will understand. Mm-hmm. 400 00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:32,499 If he asks me to go, 401 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,134 I will consider it. 402 00:15:34,135 --> 00:15:36,068 Has anyone ever told you that you're a low-down, 403 00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:38,070 rotten, dirty snake in the grass? 404 00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:40,939 Yes, you, in divorce court. 405 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,709 Mm, goodbye, Catherine. 406 00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:44,177 (sighs) 407 00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:47,314 Well, he slayed our dragon. 408 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,516 Boy, you better pick me up. 409 00:15:49,517 --> 00:15:53,485 JUNIOR: Didn't want it to have to come to this, 410 00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:54,854 but he's left me no choice. 411 00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:56,523 Maya, Trey? 412 00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,064 You're our last and best hope. 413 00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:00,327 We got this, Dad. 414 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,996 We'll bend him to our will. 415 00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:07,434 Hmm. 416 00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:10,870 BOTH: We surrender! 417 00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:13,540 Traitors! 418 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,408 Y'all are traitors! 419 00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,213 To the gallows. 420 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:24,584 Junior, how long is this gonna go on? 421 00:16:24,585 --> 00:16:26,785 Okay? One of you has to be the bigger person. 422 00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,055 Why don't you be him? 423 00:16:28,155 --> 00:16:31,024 I don't want to be the bigger person. 424 00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:34,394 (sighs) Fine. I'll go invite him. 425 00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:36,563 But I already know what he's gonna say. 426 00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:38,765 Yes. 427 00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:41,283 "Yes"? 428 00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:42,869 After all the drama, 429 00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:45,205 after the cheese and the stealing my kids 430 00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:46,838 and the slaying my dragon? 431 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,975 After all that, you just say yes? 432 00:16:49,076 --> 00:16:50,610 Yes. No. 433 00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,010 You can't say yes, 434 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,879 because then that makes me look crazy. 435 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,182 Yes. Stop saying that! 436 00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:57,517 Why? 437 00:16:57,617 --> 00:16:59,219 E-S. 438 00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:02,222 (mouths) Damn it, Dad, come on. 439 00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:03,423 Look, 440 00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,558 I told you, if you just invited me, 441 00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:08,261 I would consider it and give you my answer, 442 00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,862 and my answer is- don't be mad- yes. 443 00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:13,266 I-I just don't want to be mad anymore. 444 00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:14,666 Here's your pajamas. 445 00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:16,069 Thank you. 446 00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:17,470 (mouthing) 447 00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:23,042 All right, let's go. 448 00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:24,543 Glad you finally bent the knee. 449 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,579 Bent the... Come on, man. 450 00:17:26,580 --> 00:17:28,414 You couldn't just take the win? You had to rub it in? 451 00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:30,417 Rubbing it in is the fun part for me. 452 00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:32,184 Well, not for me it isn't. Look, 453 00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:33,552 I'm excited to go. 454 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,187 I didn't want you to think that your, uh, 455 00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:37,424 inception plan was ever gonna work. 456 00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:39,626 Damn it, Dad, what is wrong with you? 457 00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:41,161 Why are you like this? 458 00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:45,064 Look, when I was a kid, 459 00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:47,199 I spent years in and out of the hospital 460 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,969 getting my clubfoot corrected. 461 00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:51,371 And when they were done, 462 00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:53,873 they gave me this big-ass shoe to wear. 463 00:17:53,874 --> 00:17:55,407 And I didn't like being around other kids 464 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:57,477 because they would laugh at me. 465 00:17:57,577 --> 00:18:00,212 So I learned to be by myself, 466 00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:01,981 to entertain myself 467 00:18:01,982 --> 00:18:03,315 and be my own best friend. 468 00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:04,826 So when you didn't invite me, 469 00:18:04,827 --> 00:18:07,085 it kind of brought up some of those painful memories. 470 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,920 Oh, Dad, that was never my intention. 471 00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:10,190 I... 472 00:18:10,191 --> 00:18:12,391 (sighs) I was just sure you were gonna say no 473 00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:15,295 'cause you always do, and I didn't want to get rejected. 474 00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:19,499 I guess you get your fear of rejection from me. 475 00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:22,669 That and your little ankles. 476 00:18:22,670 --> 00:18:24,903 Ready to go have some fun? 477 00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:26,173 Mm, no. 478 00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:29,509 But I will. Come on. 479 00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:32,778 CATHERINE: So, the year was 480 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:36,282 1989, and I was three months pregnant with Junior. 481 00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:39,852 Hey, man, she just drones on and on and on and on 482 00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,954 and on and on, doesn't she? 483 00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:43,990 (laughs): Right? She's such a... 484 00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:46,193 That's my mother. 485 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:48,760 Hey, Pop. 486 00:18:48,761 --> 00:18:50,663 Admit it. You're having a good time. 487 00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:52,499 It's fun. 488 00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:56,435 But I'm glad it's a slumber party because I'm tired. 489 00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:59,771 What is it, like, 10:00 or something like that? 490 00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:01,208 It's 5:30. 491 00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:06,012 And we have a little surprise for you. 492 00:19:06,112 --> 00:19:07,647 For me? Yeah, go sit. Have a sit. 493 00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:10,350 Have a sit, yeah. Have a sit. 494 00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:12,519 Okay. 495 00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:15,329 All right, now close your eyes and hold out your hands. 496 00:19:15,330 --> 00:19:17,256 Now open them. 497 00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:18,358 MAYA: Poppa, 498 00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:20,208 on Grandparent's Day... (gasps) Wow. 499 00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:21,961 ...we present you with this crown. 500 00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:24,096 TREY: You're the grandest parent 501 00:19:24,097 --> 00:19:25,831 of all. (Catherine clears throat) 502 00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:27,867 I'm sitting right here. 503 00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:29,569 Yours is coming. 504 00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,838 Is why you guys wanted me to come to this? 505 00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:35,074 ALL: Yes! 506 00:19:35,075 --> 00:19:37,008 Well, somebody should've said something. 507 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,144 Oh, my goodness. IVY: You got to be kidding me. 508 00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:40,646 We've been trying... Okay, okay, 509 00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:42,349 my turn, my t- excuse me, now. 510 00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:46,118 All right, all right, ready for my crown. 511 00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:48,154 Crown me. 512 00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:49,356 Speaking of crowns... 513 00:19:49,456 --> 00:19:50,723 What? 514 00:19:50,724 --> 00:19:52,758 Uh... That reminds me of a time I was in Africa. 515 00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:56,862 Hey. Hey, y'all! It was the Mozambique-Botswana basketball... 516 00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:59,098 ? ? 517 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,768 ? We are family ? 518 00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:06,339 ? I got all my sisters with me ? 519 00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,942 ? We are family ? 520 00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:14,113 ? Get up, everybody, and sing ? 521 00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:18,451 ? We are family ? Everything, you and the things you do ? 522 00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:21,821 ? Hey, hey ? I got all my sisters with me ? 523 00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:23,722 ? Oh, yeah, yeah ? 524 00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,393 ? We are family... ? 525 00:20:28,488 --> 00:20:32,564 Marker. Hold up, let me take a crack at this. 526 00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,501 (high-pitched): Mm. You stay up late 527 00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:36,067 because your actual bed- 528 00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,769 (regular pitch): "You're sleeping on the floor." 529 00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:40,238 Hold up, let me take a crack at this. 530 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:43,175 (high-pitched): Mm. You try to... 531 00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:44,966 (regular pitch): (bleep) Sorry. 532 00:20:46,313 --> 00:20:48,681 So what I'm hearing you say is 533 00:20:48,815 --> 00:20:51,017 it's time for plan B. 534 00:20:54,186 --> 00:20:56,022 Not that kind. 535 00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:07,600 Captioning sponsored by CBS 536 00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:11,338 and TOYOTA. 537 00:21:11,438 --> 00:21:15,875 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 538 00:21:15,925 --> 00:21:20,475 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36924

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