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1
00:00:00,534 --> 00:00:02,970
[uplifting music]
2
00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:20,821
[doorbell]
3
00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:23,423
-Hey.
-Hey.
4
00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:24,825
Come on.
5
00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:27,861
Saw the for sale
sign on the car.
6
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,997
Rent�s going up.
Need cash.
7
00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:32,999
Guess I got out just in time.
8
00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:34,334
Is this the box?
9
00:00:34,334 --> 00:00:35,435
Yeah.
10
00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:42,175
So, how's the new roommate?
11
00:00:42,175 --> 00:00:43,543
Making it work.
12
00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:49,383
Just the toque
you knitted me last year?
13
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,184
Yeah.
14
00:00:51,184 --> 00:00:53,220
I found it
in the back of the closet.
15
00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:55,389
Did you ever wear that thing?
16
00:00:56,356 --> 00:00:58,859
Once, maybe. I think.
17
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:02,229
Not really a toque guy.
Couldn�t mess up the hair.
18
00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:05,065
How are you?
19
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,701
You know,
20
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:09,569
managing.
21
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,471
Figuring it out.
22
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:14,975
Missing you-
23
00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:17,311
a lot.
24
00:01:18,545 --> 00:01:19,980
Yeah,
25
00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:22,983
I'm missing you too.
26
00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:25,919
[romantic music plays]
27
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:36,496
That was nice.
28
00:01:36,997 --> 00:01:38,098
Yeah.
29
00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:41,735
I always love the way you smell.
30
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,904
[laughs]
31
00:01:45,405 --> 00:01:47,774
I- I should get going.
32
00:01:48,075 --> 00:01:49,409
Okay.
33
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,412
Do you want to maybe
get together again.
34
00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:56,116
No, I, I mean,
this was fun and all, but,
35
00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:59,186
we're not getting
back together, Novelette.
36
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,855
Are you serious?
37
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,858
Huh, I did not take you
for that kind of guy.
38
00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:06,593
What kind of guy?
39
00:02:06,593 --> 00:02:08,261
The kind that uses women.
40
00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:09,629
I'm using you.
41
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:11,298
You're the one manipulating me
with sex.
42
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,967
We were together for six
fucking years.
43
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,702
You're just going to throw it
away like that?
44
00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:17,104
You still don't get it.
45
00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:18,438
What don't I get?
46
00:02:19,373 --> 00:02:21,308
We need to figure out who we are
independently.
47
00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:22,609
I know who the fuck I am.
48
00:02:22,609 --> 00:02:23,977
Yeah, well, maybe I don't.
49
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,712
Maybe I don't like this
weak ass push over this
50
00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:26,980
relationship has turned me into.
51
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:27,614
Wow.
52
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:30,283
Wow. I need my sock, Novelette.
53
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:34,554
Wow.
54
00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:38,492
You know, I don't think
we should talk for a while.
55
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,494
Thanks, Captain Obvious.
56
00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:45,999
[downbeat song plays]
57
00:03:21,101 --> 00:03:24,104
He said
I manipulated him with sex.
58
00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:25,705
Can you believe that shit?
59
00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:28,842
Like I'm some sort of femme
fatale sex worker?
60
00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:30,610
Mmm, these are good.
61
00:03:30,610 --> 00:03:33,613
I did so much
in that relationship.
62
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:37,050
I may not have contributed
financially, but I did plenty.
63
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:37,951
You�ve got to give
me the recipe.
64
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,954
I always made sure
that he had a nice warm meal.
65
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,557
I buy all of the groceries.
66
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,292
With his money.
67
00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:47,294
I took care of his mom.
68
00:03:47,294 --> 00:03:50,297
That one time that she was sick
and he was out of town.
69
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:53,233
I did all of his laundry.
70
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,968
Did you put nuts in this?
71
00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:56,903
Are you even listening to me?
72
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,038
Yes. I'm listening.
73
00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:00,807
I really thought
we were going to work it out.
74
00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:02,576
I'm sure it's very
disappointing for you, but-
75
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,544
But?
76
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:08,081
But I think you need to
see things from his perspective.
77
00:04:08,381 --> 00:04:09,416
Okay?
78
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,384
I mean, you two aren't married.
79
00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:12,619
You don't have any kids.
80
00:04:12,619 --> 00:04:15,088
Were you expecting him
to take care of you forever?
81
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,890
I'm depressed.
82
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:18,391
You are?
83
00:04:18,725 --> 00:04:21,595
I�m-
something, and no,
84
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,597
I didn't expect him
to take care of me forever.
85
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,499
But he's a man.
86
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:27,834
He should want to protect me
and take care of me.
87
00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:29,503
Oh Lord,
you need to disabuse yourself
88
00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:31,271
of these antiquated gender
norms.
89
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,440
Okay, more and more
women are building businesses
90
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,176
-careers, creating-
-Well, I can't do that.
91
00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:37,577
Why not?
92
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,115
Honestly, I'm surprised
he lasted as long as he did.
93
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,216
If we had been dating.
94
00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:44,951
I would have dumped you
a long time ago.
95
00:04:46,686 --> 00:04:47,521
What?
96
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,792
Cookies are for allies.
97
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:56,930
[door closes]
98
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:04,304
Yo, no bites on
the car yet, huh?
99
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:07,307
Few offers.
Mostly low-ballers.
100
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,808
What are you asking?
101
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,043
Just the Bluebook.
2000.
102
00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:12,312
Oh, your ex came?
103
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,548
-Hm?
-Got his stuff?
104
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:18,151
-The box is gone.
-Oh.
105
00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:20,453
Yeah, he came.
106
00:05:20,453 --> 00:05:23,156
[playful music]
107
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:24,291
What?
108
00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:25,559
I'm just asking.
You know.
109
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:27,961
Sometimes you see
an ex. Get an old itch.
110
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:29,663
I didn�t fuck him.
111
00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:32,132
And if I did,
I wouldn't tell you about it.
112
00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:33,133
Why not?
113
00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:34,467
I know how to be discreet.
114
00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:36,503
You do?
115
00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:38,171
Then how come I know
exactly how many
116
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,739
double-ended dildos you have?
117
00:05:39,739 --> 00:05:41,808
Only told you that in case
you wanted to borrow one.
118
00:05:41,808 --> 00:05:44,477
Ew. First of all,
that is unsanitary.
119
00:05:44,477 --> 00:05:45,845
Obviously.
I wash them.
120
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,814
And second, I have
my own sex toys.
121
00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:49,516
I don�t need to borrow yours.
122
00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:52,319
I bet they�re getting a
lot of use these days.
123
00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:56,022
Did you need something?
124
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,924
Yes, actually.
125
00:05:57,924 --> 00:06:00,327
My new girl and I are going
to go hit up some gay clubs.
126
00:06:00,327 --> 00:06:01,361
If you wanna join-
127
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:02,996
Your new girl?
128
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,165
What about your old girl?
129
00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:06,833
She's still there.
130
00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:08,668
Does your new girl know
about your old girl?
131
00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:10,370
Listen, I tell all
the ladies
132
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,372
from the jump
that I'm polyamorous.
133
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,207
I'm a dyke that likes variety.
134
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,443
Still, I'll pass.
135
00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:19,379
All right, well,
you know where to find me
136
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,447
if you change your mind.
137
00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:21,548
Mmhmm.
138
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:24,517
[playful music continues]
139
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:41,034
[lively music plays]
140
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:54,748
Hm.
141
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:57,584
See a few scratches.
142
00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:59,819
Nothing that affects the driving
of the vehicle.
143
00:06:59,819 --> 00:07:02,589
Well, it needs a wash
and an oil change.
144
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,491
What is that, like, 40 bucks?
145
00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:06,493
What's the best
you can give me for this?
146
00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:08,561
Ad says 2000, and I'm firm.
147
00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:09,896
Absolutely firm?
148
00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:11,331
Firm and absolutely firm
149
00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:13,400
mean the exact same thing
in my dictionary.
150
00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:15,835
Okay.
151
00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:20,907
I'll think about it.
152
00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:33,787
The guy didn't buy?
153
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,422
What gave it away?
154
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:39,693
Listen, I wanted
to apologize for yesterday.
155
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,929
Don�t apologize
for speaking the truth.
156
00:07:42,929 --> 00:07:44,964
I could have said it in a less
harsh way.
157
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:49,102
You could have.
Probably wouldn�t have sunk in.
158
00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:52,138
You know, I was in your position
once in grad school
159
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:53,273
when I broke up
with my boyfriend-
160
00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:55,308
Wait a minute.
161
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,310
You had a boyfriend?
162
00:07:57,310 --> 00:08:00,714
Yes. Before I came out,
I was down with the dick.
163
00:08:00,714 --> 00:08:01,815
Oh.
164
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,450
[laughs]
165
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:04,784
You want to hear the rest
of the story or not?
166
00:08:04,784 --> 00:08:06,386
Yup. Mmhm. Sorry.
167
00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:08,054
As I was saying,
168
00:08:08,054 --> 00:08:09,456
when I broke up with my
boyfriend back then,
169
00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:12,292
I was dead broke
and at rock bottom,
170
00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:13,960
moved back in with my father,
171
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,229
and it was the absolute worst.
172
00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:19,632
But what it did do was help me
get my shit together faster.
173
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:22,168
Got clarity about what I
wanted and where I was going.
174
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,671
You always think when you're 30
175
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:27,006
you're going to have a clear
path forward.
176
00:08:27,907 --> 00:08:29,676
Everybody experiences
low points.
177
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:32,178
Just remember that
they don't last.
178
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,849
Have you ever thought
about becoming a therapist?
179
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,151
Or a cult leader?
180
00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:39,853
I do not have the patience
to deal
181
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:42,922
with everybody's problems
or to build a cult following.
182
00:08:42,922 --> 00:08:44,524
I�d follow you.
183
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,029
[door opens]
184
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:53,099
Oh, no. Oh no.
185
00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:58,037
Oh oh oh oh oh oh.
186
00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,607
Fuck me. Fuck me harder.
187
00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:03,343
Harder. Harder. Harder. Oh.
188
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:06,045
[engine starts]
189
00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:09,949
[car drives away]
190
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:15,522
[cash register alert]
191
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,734
[social media alert]
192
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:35,241
What the fuck?
193
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:39,312
[hip hop song plays]
194
00:09:39,362 --> 00:09:43,912
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