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1
00:00:00,434 --> 00:00:02,970
[upbeat music]
2
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:21,188
[driving music]
3
00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:29,529
[door closing]
4
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,331
[phone alert]
5
00:00:39,506 --> 00:00:42,509
You're fucking kidding me.
6
00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:48,615
[typing]
7
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,355
Settling in okay?
8
00:00:55,355 --> 00:00:58,358
Yeah, there was more space
than I realize in there.
9
00:00:58,358 --> 00:01:00,127
I could even do
a couple of videos.
10
00:01:00,127 --> 00:01:01,194
Videos?
11
00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:03,063
Yeah, I do these short
workout vids.
12
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,631
Helps me attract new clients.
13
00:01:04,631 --> 00:01:06,533
What are you, like,
trying to become an influencer?
14
00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:07,701
That's the dream.
15
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:09,303
Say goodbye to that
9 to 5 hustle.
16
00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:11,805
Rake in that sponsorship money.
17
00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:14,808
Package came for you.
18
00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:18,745
[backbeat music plays]
19
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,049
[box drops]
20
00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:23,383
What the fuck is that?
21
00:01:23,383 --> 00:01:25,419
I bought a new dick.
22
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:26,420
You like it?
23
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:28,322
Why are you wearing it?
24
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,591
Got to get used to it.
I want to use it on my new girl
25
00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:34,594
and I don't want to look like
an amateur.
26
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:36,263
What?
27
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,598
Man, you broke up with your man
not five minutes ago.
28
00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:39,900
And you're- you're scared.
29
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:41,168
I'm not scared. I just--
30
00:01:41,168 --> 00:01:42,569
Okay, get that thing
away from my face.
31
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,272
Did you see that?
32
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:46,406
See what?
33
00:01:46,406 --> 00:01:48,608
That was a windmill.
You didn't-
34
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:49,576
Hold on. Okay.
35
00:01:49,576 --> 00:01:51,945
-Watch. Can you?
-Yup.
36
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,680
[funky music plays]
37
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,949
Fuck. Okay, hold on.
Hold on.
38
00:01:57,851 --> 00:01:59,186
I don't think you know
how to windmill-
39
00:01:59,186 --> 00:02:00,587
Super.
40
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:03,757
[funky music plays]
41
00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:12,366
[lid closes]
42
00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:15,369
Hey! What's the occasion?
43
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,138
I just really need a drink.
44
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,873
You want some company?
45
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:21,308
Absolutely.
46
00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:23,777
[light music plays]
47
00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:25,112
So what's up?
48
00:02:25,112 --> 00:02:27,314
Something happen at work?
49
00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:30,150
So I've been pushing
to teach more third
50
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,651
and fourth year courses.
51
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:33,987
And the faculty had promised me
52
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:33,987
that this was my year.
53
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,656
But today she hit me with the
budget cuts bullshit
54
00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:38,892
and told me that they have
to drop the African Histories
55
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:40,827
course due to a low enrollment.
56
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:44,631
Dom, you're like,
the smartest person I know.
57
00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:47,000
I don't know why you're teaching
at that third rate university
58
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,469
that's probably not even
paying you what you're worth.
59
00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:50,971
I know, it's just-
60
00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:54,908
Wait a minute.
Did you just call me Dom?
61
00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:56,309
Yeah.
62
00:02:56,309 --> 00:02:59,312
Audrey just mentioned it's
what your friends call you.
63
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,848
-Oh.
-I mean, I don't have to.
64
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:04,851
I just thought, because,
you know, we're friends and-
65
00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:08,021
If you don't like it,
I will literally never say that.
66
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,190
No, no, it's
not that. It's just.
67
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:13,693
You're the only one that calls
me Dominique and I like it.
68
00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:15,195
Okay.
69
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:18,698
I'll stick with Dominique then.
70
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:26,039
So how are things with Audrey
working out?
71
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:27,874
Fine.
72
00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:30,877
Although I did have to make a no
strap-ons in the kitchen rule.
73
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,779
Damn, you're bumping
booties already?
74
00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:34,381
She works fast.
75
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:35,782
You�re funny.
76
00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:39,219
She can be a bit much sometimes,
but she's good people.
77
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:41,388
One thing about her
is that she prioritizes
78
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:43,356
the people that she cares about.
79
00:03:43,356 --> 00:03:45,692
That's fine.
80
00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:46,893
I just don't need to see her
81
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:48,862
strutting around her
dick in my apartment.
82
00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:51,031
It's both of y�all�s apartment
83
00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:51,031
now. Don't forget.
84
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:52,199
[laughs]
85
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:56,703
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
86
00:03:57,404 --> 00:04:00,574
ooh ooh ooh ooh
87
00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:04,144
ooh ooh ooh ooh.
Fuck me. Fuck me.
88
00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:07,080
[hip hop song plays]
89
00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:10,250
Ugggh!
90
00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:12,552
Lord have mercy!
91
00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:16,156
Ooh. Oh God.
92
00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:17,824
Don�t stop.
93
00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:19,426
Are you fucking kidding me?
94
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:23,163
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.
95
00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:26,099
Yes!
96
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:29,102
Oh no, not again.
97
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,772
[yawn]
98
00:04:40,413 --> 00:04:43,350
[backbeat music plays]
99
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:54,127
[typing]
100
00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:06,473
[typing]
101
00:05:08,708 --> 00:05:12,445
Waste management?
God.
102
00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:20,453
Hey, everybody.
103
00:05:20,453 --> 00:05:23,223
I am constantly being asked
how I keep trim
104
00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:25,225
and still be able
to eat what I want.
105
00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:29,229
My secret?
This.
106
00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:32,165
This little bottle of magic
called Fat on Fire.
107
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,633
Just one of these pills a day.
108
00:05:33,633 --> 00:05:36,002
You will see results in no time.
109
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,904
I'm telling you, those extra
pounds you're carrying
110
00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:40,507
will just melt away.
Link in my bio, guys.
111
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,242
Give me a follow. Peace.
112
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:43,476
What up?
113
00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,745
Nothing much.
A question for you.
114
00:05:45,745 --> 00:05:47,814
How much do you make pushing
that stuff?
115
00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:48,848
What stuff?
116
00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:50,150
Those pills that-
117
00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:51,484
the fat burning one.
118
00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:52,919
Oh, you mean Fat on Fire?
119
00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:54,354
-Yeah
-Not a whole lot because
120
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,189
I don't have
a lot of followers.
121
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,257
I'm trying to grow.
122
00:05:57,257 --> 00:05:58,758
Do you actually take it?
123
00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:01,328
I mean,
I don't really need it.
124
00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:02,429
Why are you asking?
125
00:06:02,429 --> 00:06:03,830
Oh, because
I'm thinking of getting a job,
126
00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:05,265
and there aren't many places
hiring someone
127
00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:08,168
with no skills
and no experience.
128
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,336
You want to learn to bartend
129
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,705
because you'll make more
130
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,705
than enough on just tips alone.
131
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,540
No, bars are filled with creeps
132
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,108
who think that buying someone
a drink equals
133
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,876
bathroom blowjobs.
134
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:19,713
I bartend a gay bar,
so I don't have that problem.
135
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:23,283
Hold up. I need to talk to you
about your visitors.
136
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:25,051
Visitors?
137
00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:27,554
Your overnight visitors.
138
00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:30,023
What about them?
139
00:06:30,457 --> 00:06:32,058
They're too loud.
140
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,727
I need to sleep.
141
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:37,731
Oh, so I can't wear
my dick around and I can't fuck.
142
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,566
Are you some kind of secret
homophobe?
143
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:40,700
I'm queer.
144
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:41,801
Most secret homophobes are.
145
00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:43,136
Look, do whatever you want.
I just-
146
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,873
I mean, have you ever heard of
147
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,873
a silent orgasm?
148
00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:48,408
No.
149
00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:50,543
I have them all the time.
150
00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:55,982
Oh, you poor, sexually
repressed soul.
151
00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:58,718
Maybe if you had someone
of your own to fuck,
152
00:06:58,718 --> 00:07:00,754
my shit wouldn't
bother you so much.
153
00:07:02,822 --> 00:07:04,891
Okay, well,
this is great for me.
154
00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:06,760
Thank you so much.
155
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:16,269
-You missed a spot.
-I'll get there.
156
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,104
I�m not paying you if
you do half the job.
157
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,240
Mom, please. You're not even
paying me that much.
158
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:21,841
That's not the point.
159
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:24,911
But seriously, though,
you can't keep running to me
160
00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:26,346
every time you need money.
161
00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:29,115
Part of being an adult
is solving your own problems.
162
00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:30,617
Mom, I swear,
if you start lecturing me,
163
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,952
I am dropping this thing
and walking out.
164
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:35,255
What is it with you millennials?
165
00:07:35,755 --> 00:07:38,291
You all want to be superstars
living like you're on
166
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,959
Lifestyles of the Rich
and Famous,
167
00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:41,294
but I got news for you.
168
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:43,630
The world don't
owe you a damn thing.
169
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:47,200
Oh, I'm sorry, mom, I couldn't
hear you over how outdated that
170
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,468
reference was.
171
00:07:48,768 --> 00:07:50,203
[laughs]
172
00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:51,805
That's good. That's good.
173
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:52,939
That's good.
174
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:57,210
You know, there's a job
waiting for you at my office.
175
00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:58,378
No. Thank you.
176
00:07:58,378 --> 00:08:00,146
You say no to benefits.
177
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,482
No to four weeks paid vacation.
178
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,718
No to a cool 50,000 a year.
179
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:06,820
And we have a celebrity
spokesperson.
180
00:08:07,387 --> 00:08:09,656
-Who?
-David Suzuki.
181
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:10,824
Mom, please.
182
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,159
-He came to one of your events.
183
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,159
-Where he spoke.
184
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:14,994
You know, that's not
what a spokesperson is.
185
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:16,996
-Baby, listen-
-No, mom.
186
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:18,231
You need to give up
on your dream
187
00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:19,966
of me followling in
your footsteps.
188
00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:22,068
Not trying to work some soul
sucking job.
189
00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:23,837
Soul sucking?
190
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,638
We make the world
a better place.
191
00:08:25,638 --> 00:08:28,341
We�re the leading consultants
in sustainable manufacturing.
192
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,843
We influence government.
193
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:32,011
Mum, I am not
one of your clients.
194
00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:35,348
Fine.
195
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,984
Then that leaves
you only one other option.
196
00:08:37,984 --> 00:08:39,085
What's that?
197
00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:41,087
You�re going to
have to sell something.
198
00:08:41,087 --> 00:08:42,922
Something valuable.
199
00:08:42,922 --> 00:08:44,357
The only valuable
thing I own is-
200
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,260
No.
201
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:50,196
[upbeat music]
202
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:54,868
Hey, you selling?
203
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,604
Well, it's either that or start
turning tricks.
204
00:08:57,604 --> 00:08:59,706
I have heard
it's a steady industry.
205
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,709
Hey, did you figure out that
work situation?
206
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,010
Kind of.
207
00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:05,779
They basically said
if I can increase my enrollment
208
00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:07,781
by registration deadline,
then they'll continue
209
00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:09,549
to fund my course
for another year.
210
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:10,884
That's good.
Do that.
211
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,218
It's not that easy.
212
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:13,553
Unless I can
figure out a way to
213
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,789
recruit Megan Thee
Stallion as my T.A.-
214
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,725
I have no idea
215
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,725
how I'm going to move students.
216
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,794
I can picture it, though.
217
00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:23,897
Yeah. Yeah.
218
00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:23,897
Miss Nasty herself rapping in a
219
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,900
in a thong bikini, rapping
about the Red River rebellion.
220
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:30,136
Honestly, it's the only way
to reach students these days.
221
00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:33,139
Well, just cut out, Megan
and do it yourself.
222
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,141
You're just trying to see me
in a thong.
223
00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:36,910
Guilty as charged.
224
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,411
Hey, Dom.
225
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,580
Hey, you heading to work?
226
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,315
Yep, I got a client.
227
00:09:43,049 --> 00:09:44,417
Well, I don't envy them.
228
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,653
Please.
I took it easy on you.
229
00:09:46,653 --> 00:09:49,422
My glutes do not agree.
230
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,558
They look like the agree to me.
231
00:09:51,558 --> 00:09:53,259
Girl, stop.
232
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,995
[clears throat]
You unclog that toilet upstairs.
233
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,764
What? I-
234
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,566
I didn't clog up the toilet.
235
00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:02,435
Well it was clogged
when I went up there, so-
236
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,270
Then we must have
a mystery guest
237
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,940
shitting in our bathroom
because it wasn't me.
238
00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:10,777
I gotta go.
Later, gorgeous.
239
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:18,451
[hip hop song plays]
240
00:10:18,501 --> 00:10:23,051
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