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Back when I was a boy,
I had to learn a little poem,
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and I expect you did as well.
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It went, "In 1492,
Columbus sailed the ocean blue."
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I can't remember
any of it after that,
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but it doesn't actually matter,
because those first two lines
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cement the salient pub quiz fact
in your head.
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It was 1492, Christopher Columbus
set sail from Spain,
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he discovered America,
hopped ashore at Long Island,
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and rewarded himself
with a nice, fat hot dog.
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00:00:30,001 --> 00:00:31,679
But there must
actually be more than that
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to this rather enigmatic character.
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Why, for example,
is he celebrated as a national hero
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in a country he never even visited?
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'So, join me, viewers,
as I set out to discover that.
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'The age of the Great Explorers
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'was one of the most dramatic
in history.'
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BOOMING EXPLOSION
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
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'When men risked their lives...'
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Cast off and set sail. Whoa!
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Take up on the peak.
Argh!
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'..to seek new lands.'
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We're somewhere
north of the dog's arse.
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Where the camera gone? Hello.
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They crossed thousands of miles
of treacherous ocean,
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they built floating fortresses,
they mapped the stars,
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they developed
whole new branches of science.
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Eurgh! Absolute pish.
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'But were these explorers
really heroes,
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'or just a bunch of chancers?'
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It's a miracle he found anything,
really.
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Completely made up.
Man was a charlatan.
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'And is their legacy
one of triumph...'
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Ooh!
'..or destruction?'
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Crikey.
Now it's turning a little bit dark.
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'I'm doing
a bit of discovering of my own...'
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BANG
Unbelievably terrible.
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Medieval satnav 2.0 - a stick.
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'..to learn how these explorers
conquered the oceans...'
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Look at that. I love it.
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Nobody panic yet.
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It's not just a map, it's a weapon.
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'..and changed the world forever.'
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Whoa!
Dial out!
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Ah, gold!
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If you were in the navy, the French
would definitely have got us.
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CHUCKLES
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CLUNK
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'Columbus's world-changing voyages
began in southwest Spain,
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'which is nice, because I get
to have a lovely scenic stroll
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'for your viewing pleasure.'
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I think we got it, the walking shot.
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'All good voyages start with a map,
and here's the one Columbus had.'
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Now, very easy for me to say this
in the 21st century
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after a very agreeable lunch,
but it's a bit crap.
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Apart from that there are
a lot of things missing -
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Australia and New Zealand
for example -
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look at the shape of everything!
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Look at Africa.
Look at the shape of that.
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It's ridiculous.
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00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:00,960
Back when Columbus was a lad,
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the most exciting part of the world
was Asia.
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This is where all the shiny
and aromatic stuff
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that Europeans coveted came from,
carried along the Silk Road.
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00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:15,960
But... unfortunately, in 1453 -
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this is when Columbus
was still an infant -
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Constantinople
had fallen to the Ottomans,
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00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:24,520
which caused
a bit of a Silk Road block.
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The Europeans no longer had access
to all those lovely silks
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and spices and jewels.
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They were just stuck
with their mud and turnips,
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as if they were all
living in Norfolk.
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00:03:34,961 --> 00:03:36,119
Something had to be done,
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and what had to be done was
to find a sea route from Europe
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over to the Indies,
as Asia was then called.
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This is how
The Great Age of Exploration began.
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Forget the space race,
this was the spice race.
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The Portuguese were the
hot favourites to get there first,
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but it was a hazardous voyage
over 10,000 miles south,
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around Africa, and off to the east.
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'Enter a man with a plan.'
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Those steps are really annoying.
LAUGHS
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'Not me, Columbus.'
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00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:16,559
Rather in the way that young men
these days are obsessed with, say,
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00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,680
magazines about Airfix models,
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the young Chris Columbus
was obsessed with maps.
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00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,680
And he had a brother
who ran a map shop,
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so he could get high
on his own supply.
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Historians have long believed that
Columbus was an Italian from Genoa,
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but recently, some have claimed
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that he may have been
a Spanish Jew from Valencia.
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While they fight it out,
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what we do know is that
he spent a lot of time on boats,
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and he knew that daring sailors
were rewarded with great riches.
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He became obsessed with finding
a quicker route to Asia,
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and with, of course,
the glory that would follow.
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So, after several more years
of sailing and calculating
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and map-bothering,
he'd come up with a plan.
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He would absolutely
slash the journey time to Asia
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00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:06,320
by simply going west.
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00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:12,040
This was revolutionary -
sailing off the edge of the map.
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But if he could pull it off,
fame and fortune would be his.
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With fevered excitement,
he travelled to the courts of Europe
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and pitched his plan
to their kings and queens...
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..who all told him to sod off,
sailing west was madness.
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00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:32,480
But Columbus, whether stubborn
or simply delusional, persevered.
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He tried schmoozing.
He tried "map-splaining".
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He tried boring them witless.
He tried for years.
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Finally, and at the grand old age
of 41, he got a bite.
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Isabella and Ferdinand of Spain
had just won a very expensive war
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expelling the Moors
from their country,
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00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:55,560
and they needed
a bit of a cash injection.
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They also probably quite liked
the idea of sticking one over
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on their great rivals,
the Portuguese.
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And it's also possible
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00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:06,600
they were simply sick to death
of Columbus nagging them.
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It was game on.
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Europeans would be sailing
over the horizon to the west.
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00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:16,920
The Crown found backers to pay
for crews and three small ships,
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00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:20,400
and they sent Columbus here,
to Palos de la Frontera,
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00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:22,440
to collect the lucre.
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00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:25,040
In the 15th century,
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the streets of Palos would
have been rammed with boat builders,
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ropemakers and drunken sailors.
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Columbus met with
the bravest of the ship-owners,
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who lived in this house
and laid out his plans.
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00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:39,560
In just a few short weeks,
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00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:43,640
he would be in Asia -
except for one slight snag.
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Let's have a look
at Columbus's workings
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to see where it went
so horribly wrong.
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As our high-tech demo will show,
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00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:55,120
it starts with a philosopher
in ancient Egypt
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whose name is very easy to say (!)
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STRUGGLING: Eratos...thenes.
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00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:03,280
He noticed something
a bit strange about shadows.
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00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:09,320
This is the spinning celestial
dust mote that humanity calls home.
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00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:12,440
The sun is represented
by this torch on a stick.
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00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:16,120
In reality, it is much bigger
and much further away.
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00:07:16,121 --> 00:07:18,639
This is how they do things
at the Griffith Observatory (!)
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00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:22,280
Here is Egypt. Now, here is a camel.
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00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:25,680
And if I put the camel down there,
you can see
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that the shadow of the camel
is directly below the camel.
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00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,240
If we now move the camel
further north...
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..you can see
it casts a shadow that way.
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00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:39,160
Clever old Eratosthhh...whatever
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measured the different angles
of the shadows,
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did a spot of trigonometry
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and worked out
the circumference of the Earth.
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He was accurate to within 1%,
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which is
an absolutely phenomenal result.
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00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:55,760
Unfortunately
for our hero Christopher,
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he based HIS reasoning on the work
of a different ancient, Ptolemy,
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who, in turn, had based his work on
the assumptions of some other bloke,
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and they were miles out.
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00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:11,800
The moral of this story is
don't copy other people's homework.
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Ptolemy's estimate
shrank the world by 28%
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Columbus had backed the wrong camel.
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I shall extinguish the sun.
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Getting the girth of the Earth wrong
could have fatal consequences
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for the sailors on the voyage.
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00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:32,040
Right, let's go back to that
15th century map of the known world,
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reproduced here
in handy laser-cut wood.
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His idea was to go west
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and approach the Indies
from the other side.
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So, we'll rearrange the map.
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00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,400
Erm... Hang on. How does it look?
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Something like that? Bear with me.
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With the 28% shrinkage,
he was already off to a bad start.
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But then Columbus made a series
of other errors.
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Most notably,
he confused the Roman mile
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with the bigger Arabic mile,
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and that made the Indies
apparently there.
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00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:08,480
Columbus's whole plan
was based on an idea of the world
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that was 58% too small.
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He calculated that that
would be four weeks' sailing away.
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The truth, however,
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is that Asia
is all the way over there,
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or twelve weeks' sailing.
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Columbus's mistakes,
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and the mistakes of those around him
all the way back to antiquity,
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spelled certain death
for a crew on that voyage.
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00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:39,560
If only he'd had the plastic
Chinese globe, the bicycle light,
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and the knock-kneed plastic camel
with Blu-Tack on its feet,
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he'd have known.
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00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:47,320
And, of course, there was
another thing he didn't know yet.
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There was something else here.
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00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:05,440
JAMES MAY:
Welcome back, viewers, to 1492.
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00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:08,000
After ten years
of persistent nagging,
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00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:11,880
Christopher Columbus has finally
convinced the Spanish Crown to pay
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00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:17,480
for his frankly insane voyage
sailing west to Asia.
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There was just one thing
he'd forgotten -
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to check if a ship
could actually sail there.
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Well, he was in luck.
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00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:28,240
Sailing technology had recently
made a major leap forward,
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thanks to a new type of sail.
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'Time for a demonstration.'
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Permission to come aboard, skipper.
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00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:39,520
'Now, if you're expecting fancy CGI
or re-enactors in dodgy wigs,
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00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:41,800
'this is not the series for you.
199
00:10:41,801 --> 00:10:43,839
'But if you're expecting me
with dodgy hair
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00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:47,600
'investigating exactly
how it all happened and why...'
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00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:48,690
Morning.
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00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:53,240
'..well, you're in luck.
Join me aboard 12ft dinghy Skiffy.'
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00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:57,720
This sail setup is known
as square rig, for obvious reasons.
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This is what most European ships
would've had.
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00:11:00,401 --> 00:11:02,759
But the Portuguese,
especially in the 1400s,
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00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:06,000
noticed another type of sail,
a triangular one.
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00:11:06,001 --> 00:11:08,719
And what we're going to do today
is demonstrate the difference
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00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:12,640
by sailing to a buoy just over there
and back again.
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00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:14,800
I've got the skipper on board,
who is Alan.
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00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:15,890
Aye, aye.
Aye, aye.
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00:11:15,891 --> 00:11:17,919
And he's here to take control
if necessary,
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00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:20,759
and to make sure I don't
accidentally sail to the Caribbean.
213
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,520
Are you ready, skipper?
I am.
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00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:25,280
In three, two, one. Go!
Go.
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00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:32,640
If you just slacken off that.
That's it. Right.
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00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,440
Goodbye, cruel world.
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00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:41,320
'The first leg is downwind,
plain sailing all the way.'
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00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:44,720
Oh, God, there's the buoy.
Bring it round.
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00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:49,080
'But next comes the upwind leg.'
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CREW MEMBER:
Going in the wrong direction!
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00:11:52,351 --> 00:11:55,399
Where are you, camera?
ALAN LAUGHS
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00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:57,600
Come over here.
I need to talk to you.
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00:11:57,601 --> 00:12:01,519
The point about the square sail
is that it's really just like
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00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:04,480
a big bin bag full of wind.
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00:12:04,481 --> 00:12:06,239
It's great
when you're going downwind,
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the wind is roughly behind you,
227
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,440
it fills up,
and it thrusts you along.
228
00:12:09,441 --> 00:12:12,039
But when you want to go towards
the wind, it's a bit problematic.
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00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:15,160
'Whilst it's all very easy downwind,
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00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:18,400
'upwind, the ship has to do
something called tacking -
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00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:20,520
'basically,
catching what wind you can
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00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:23,360
'to zig-zag
to where you want to go.'
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00:12:23,361 --> 00:12:25,319
For this reason,
sailors were quite nervous
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00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,399
about sailing away
from the shore downwind,
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00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:30,410
because their fear was that
they'd never be able to get back.
236
00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:33,800
They'd be lost at sea forever,
rather like we are.
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00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,360
SONG: 'Drunken Sailor'
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00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:39,240
We want to go over there.
239
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:43,520
'But tacking with a square sail
is not easy.'
240
00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:44,610
Ready about?
241
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:46,880
Ready about.
OK, here we go.
242
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:49,450
We ARE moving.
243
00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:53,120
ALAN LAUGHS
Just the wrong way.
244
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:58,480
Well, that's three metres
245
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,200
in about 15 minutes.
ALAN LAUGHS
246
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:04,290
It'll take us a while
to find the New World at this speed.
247
00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:08,440
'After about half an hour
of getting nowhere fast,
248
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:09,880
'or rather slowly,
249
00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:12,640
'we admitted defeat
and got a tow from the crew
250
00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:14,720
'back to the start line.'
251
00:13:15,131 --> 00:13:19,639
Right, that square sail
was frankly rubbish,
252
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:21,759
but let's see how we get on
with the triangular ones,
253
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,479
which were an absolute game-changer.
254
00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,800
'In the early 15th century,
255
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:29,920
'sailors had noticed
a different sail used in the East.
256
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:34,000
'On the River Nile, for example,
the wind mostly blows south,
257
00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:37,120
'but boats could still sail north
just fine.
258
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,920
'Triangular sails were the key,
259
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:44,040
'and they would revolutionise where
sailors like Columbus could go.'
260
00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:46,040
Ready?
Righty-ho.
261
00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:49,200
'Just like with the square sail,
262
00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:54,400
'the downwind leg is easy-going,
a gentle beeline towards our buoy.'
263
00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:57,400
Right, we're going to come round,
up towards the wind now.
264
00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:01,400
'But as we round the buoy,
we're not being blown backwards.'
265
00:14:01,401 --> 00:14:03,399
We're pretty much going
in the right direction.
266
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,320
That's where we want to go.
267
00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:07,720
But we're only, sort of,
30 or 40 degrees off.
268
00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:09,720
It's a huge difference.
269
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:14,280
The sail is now
acting like an aerofoil.
270
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:15,920
When the wind rushes over it,
271
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:19,840
it creates an area of low pressure
on the curved side, the outer side,
272
00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:21,840
and high pressure on the inside.
273
00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:23,720
It's great.
274
00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:28,360
'And the finish line's in sight.'
275
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:34,960
Victory!
Yay!
276
00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:37,680
We've done it.
277
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:46,000
What a craft Skiffy is
with triangular sails.
278
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:47,720
A nice, neat zig-zag,
279
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:50,720
and home in time
for cocktails and a debrief.
280
00:14:50,721 --> 00:14:55,079
And that was deeply significant
because it shortened journey times,
281
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,600
and it meant the sailors
weren't quite so scared
282
00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:59,280
of being lost at sea.
283
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:03,200
All because of triangular sails.
It's fantastic.
284
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:06,320
'A simple change
in the shape of a sail
285
00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:09,920
'meant that Columbus could now
change the shape of the world.
286
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:16,680
'But to go with his sails,
he needed ships.
287
00:15:16,681 --> 00:15:19,039
'And for ships,
he needed to go to the Palos Port,
288
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:22,320
'the Cape Canaveral of its time.'
289
00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:24,880
Here is a replica
of Columbus's fleet.
290
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:27,280
In the middle is the Santa Maria.
291
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:28,520
Not really very big,
292
00:15:28,521 --> 00:15:30,479
when you consider
what it was going to achieve,
293
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,960
but it is at least
"plumptious" in the hold,
294
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:36,720
so it can bring back all those
spices and treasures from Asia.
295
00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:40,440
Ha-ha! Either side,
there is the Pinta and the Nina,
296
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:42,320
based on Portuguese designs.
297
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,400
Small, sleek, fast.
298
00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:46,639
The whole lot could be expected
to bimble along
299
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:51,520
at a very vigorous four knots or so,
roughly a brisk walk.
300
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:56,960
Ships like these
301
00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:00,480
were one of the greatest feats
of engineering of the age,
302
00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:03,200
floating fortresses
that harnessed the wind
303
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:06,240
to transport you to lands afar.
304
00:16:06,241 --> 00:16:08,239
Now, if anybody watching this
is thinking,
305
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:11,760
"Ooh, that would be an adventure,
going off on an old sailing ship,"
306
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:13,280
you might want to think again.
307
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,520
Come aboard,
and I'll show you what I mean.
308
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:23,840
You have to bear in mind that there
were 90 blokes on these three tubs.
309
00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:26,760
They stayed in the same clothes
for the entire voyage
310
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:29,360
in their own slime and filth.
311
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:30,520
They slept in shifts,
312
00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:33,440
and you slept simply
in a convenient place on the deck,
313
00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:36,520
probably curled up on an old sack
or something.
314
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:39,760
The smallest of the lot
was the Nina,
315
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:43,520
a proper little leaky tub,
God above!
316
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:47,680
It's about 60ft stem-to-stern.
317
00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:50,880
And I don't know if you've watched
any of those YouTube videos
318
00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:55,480
called things like Container Ship
In Heavy Atlantic Swell.
319
00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:56,920
HOWLING WIND
320
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:59,120
They're absolutely terrifying.
321
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:01,440
But now imagine doing that in this,
322
00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:06,360
which is really just
a bit of a GCSE woodwork project.
323
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:07,640
It's unthinkable.
324
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:11,160
This would be bad enough
on a trip along the coast,
325
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:14,840
but the renegade Columbus
would be sailing these ships west
326
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:16,120
into the blue beyond.
327
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,800
I don't know
what he's smiling about.
328
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:22,120
Believe it or not,
it wasn't that easy
329
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:24,280
to persuade men
to go on these voyages,
330
00:17:24,281 --> 00:17:26,039
and one way
they got around this problem
331
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,560
was to offer an amnesty
to criminals.
332
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:30,240
Murderers, for example.
333
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:31,640
"We'll let you off,
334
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:35,840
"but you have to go on
Christopher Columbus's voyage." Hm.
335
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,880
To sum up, this was
a death cruise on a rickety tub,
336
00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:43,520
sleeping on a sack
with a bunch of stinking murderers.
337
00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:45,300
No wonder he couldn't get the staff.
338
00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:52,600
I know some of you are wondering,
and no, there were no lavs onboard.
339
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:56,000
You just had to let it hang out
over the side.
340
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:57,920
But at least the food was terrible.
341
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,770
Somehow,
Columbus managed to scrounge up
342
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:06,960
a motley crew of 87 sailors,
and they would need feeding.
343
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:11,560
Food rotted quickly
in the hot, damp ships' holds,
344
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:15,400
so almost everything he took
was dried to preserve it.
345
00:18:15,401 --> 00:18:18,119
Right, well, here is a selection
of the sort of things
346
00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:20,240
Columbus's crews
would've had onboard.
347
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:24,120
There's salted fish,
some hard cheese,
348
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:29,080
salted pork, peas, raisins,
lentils, and some nuts.
349
00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:32,360
They would've also had
lots of liquid things, thankfully.
350
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:36,160
Delicious red wine and beer.
351
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:42,080
But half of their calorie intake
would have come from something
352
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:46,360
called ship's biscuits,
or hard tack,
353
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,080
and we're going to
make some of that right now.
354
00:18:49,081 --> 00:18:52,359
OK, this is not really
very different
355
00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:54,640
from making something
like a chapati,
356
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:56,040
but don't get your hopes up.
357
00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:58,680
'It's a very basic recipe.
358
00:18:58,681 --> 00:19:00,719
'Two types of flour,
boring old wholemeal
359
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:06,000
'and a delicious,
fibrous green flour made from peas.'
360
00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:07,160
Mm, very nice (!)
361
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:11,440
'Add some salt, because even sailors
deserve flavour in their biscuits,
362
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:14,520
'and bind it all together
with water.'
363
00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:17,199
Now, I've worked on a cooking show,
and I know that we're now going
364
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:23,120
to skip ahead to a point where I've
already made a lovely ball of dough.
365
00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:26,240
That's how cooking shows work,
even in the 15th century.
366
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:27,720
SHORT BEEP
367
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:30,360
Weirdly,
that we're talking about explorers,
368
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:33,800
this has worked out
to look more like a map of Tasmania,
369
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,080
but anyway, that comes much later.
370
00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:39,520
'Now, one essential requirement
of ship's biscuits
371
00:19:39,521 --> 00:19:41,239
'was that under no circumstances
372
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,399
'were they allowed to be light
and fluffy.'
373
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,480
They made a series of holes in it,
374
00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:48,520
going all the way through
with a fork
375
00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:50,400
to stop exactly that happening.
376
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,670
So, anyway,
that's basically the gist of it.
377
00:19:52,671 --> 00:19:56,079
And now, again,
by the magic of television,
378
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:57,319
we will skip forward to a point
379
00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:59,439
where a whole load of these
have been baked.
380
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:00,880
SHORT BEEP
Look at those.
381
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:07,400
Let's see what it tasted like,
being an explorer.
382
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,080
Oh.
383
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:16,360
It's quite difficult to articulate
how horrible that is.
384
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:19,840
It's extremely boring, very dry.
385
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,560
I mean, almost wantonly miserable.
386
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:25,200
Now, those were once-baked biscuits,
387
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:28,080
but the fact is, they baked them
a lot more than that.
388
00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:30,720
The point was
to remove all moisture from them
389
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:33,760
because moisture would encourage
the growth of mould.
390
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:37,880
So, here are some I made even,
even earlier.
391
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:41,880
These are twice-baked.
Let's see what the effect is.
392
00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:44,920
Oh, God!
393
00:20:57,080 --> 00:21:00,080
So hard to chew.
That's only twice-baked.
394
00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:04,760
OK, four-times-baked
ship's biscuits.
395
00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:09,080
SLIGHT CRUNCH,
HE LAUGHS
396
00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:10,240
Oh!
397
00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:13,080
You need a machine tool
to get through this.
398
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,920
CRUNCH
Oh, a bit came off.
399
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:21,560
CRUNCHING
400
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:23,560
That's unbelievably terrible.
401
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:24,920
Oh, excuse me,
402
00:21:24,921 --> 00:21:27,159
I'm gonna have to have a bit of beer
to get rid of that.
403
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:31,200
'The sailors soaked the biscuits
in water to soften them.
404
00:21:31,201 --> 00:21:33,959
'But once a day, if the weather
was calm enough to cook,
405
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:37,520
'they got to dip them
in a bowl of this stuff.'
406
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:41,880
Ta-da! Salt pork and pea stew.
407
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:44,880
That is a pre-softened
ship's biscuit.
408
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:50,880
I can't do it, I'm sorry.
409
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:53,840
How long has that been soaking for?
410
00:21:53,841 --> 00:21:55,679
CREW MEMBER: About an hour.
An hour?!
411
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:58,880
'Best resort to a spoon
if I want to keep my teeth.'
412
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:05,600
Mm. That is delicious.
413
00:22:05,601 --> 00:22:08,879
But it might be delicious because
I've been eating ship's biscuits.
414
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:11,199
It's a bit like being beaten up,
and then when it stops,
415
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:12,319
you think, "This is nice."
416
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:14,880
But it isn't really nice.
It's just normal.
417
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:19,840
Columbus's very, very baked biscuits
might have been mould-free,
418
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:22,890
but there wasn't much he could do
about these little fellas.
419
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:27,600
These are weevils,
420
00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:31,320
and these got into
absolutely everything.
421
00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:33,760
Now, they're perfectly harmless
to eat.
422
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:37,400
They also help to weaken
the structural integrity
423
00:22:37,401 --> 00:22:39,479
of the ship's biscuit
by burrowing through them.
424
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:41,440
But nevertheless, they are weevils.
425
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:44,320
To demonstrate just how different
426
00:22:44,360 --> 00:22:47,800
their enthusiasm for ship's biscuits
is compared with mine...
427
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:50,440
Oh, yeah,
they've gone absolutely mad for it!
428
00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:52,440
SHORT BEEP
They're also escaping.
429
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:54,400
CREW MEMBERS: Oh, no!
430
00:22:54,401 --> 00:22:57,719
Some of them
have actually jumped out.
431
00:22:57,720 --> 00:22:59,440
They're very agile.
432
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:03,000
So, now, as a poor sailor,
miles from home,
433
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:06,800
hungry, probably cold,
you're faced with stark choice.
434
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:10,000
It's a protein-enhanced,
435
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:14,320
unchewable ship's biscuit, or...
436
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:16,120
a nice glass of red.
437
00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:23,000
Thank you for watching.
438
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:25,160
Mm!
SHORT BEEP
439
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,000
Oh, God. There's one in there!
440
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:37,080
Finally, Columbus's ships were
packed with everything he needed -
441
00:23:37,120 --> 00:23:42,720
sailors, biscuits, wine, weevils,
and a very badly wrong map.
442
00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:46,560
All that was left to do was pray.
443
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:48,200
The night before the voyage,
444
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:52,240
Columbus came and prayed fervently
to the Virgin Mary,
445
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:55,600
because he knew that what
he was about to do was terrifying.
446
00:23:57,240 --> 00:23:59,280
Even for a seasoned sailor,
447
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:02,920
it was a highly dangerous leap
into the unknown.
448
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:10,400
"O mare o l'e male,"
went the ancient Genoese saying.
449
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:12,720
"The sea is evil."
450
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:16,920
Early the next morning,
451
00:24:16,921 --> 00:24:19,879
after four months of preparation
and decades of planning,
452
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:22,920
the three tiny little ships
weighed anchor
453
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:28,920
and set off that way,
over the horizon, into the unknown.
454
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:42,960
JAMES MAY: Welcome back to
the dawn of the age of exploration.
455
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:47,400
Christopher Columbus
is finally setting sail for Asia.
456
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:50,920
And it's lucky he had all these
sea gods looking out for him,
457
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:54,840
because he'd misplaced it
by around 10,000 miles.
458
00:24:54,841 --> 00:24:56,999
He'd set off,
had a brief stop at the Canaries
459
00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:00,000
to stock up on more delicious
hard tack and wine,
460
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,720
and headed west, roughly speaking.
461
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:04,040
Very roughly speaking.
462
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:11,800
This is the satnav
of Columbus's era, the astrolabe.
463
00:25:11,801 --> 00:25:14,559
It basically gives you the height
of the sun above the horizon,
464
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,879
and that allows you
to calculate your latitude,
465
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:19,760
how far north or south
on the globe you are.
466
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:22,520
Now, this is a piece of tourist tat
from a gift shop,
467
00:25:22,521 --> 00:25:23,799
and it is completely useless,
468
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:26,279
but the one Columbus had
was completely useless as well.
469
00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:28,720
And in any case,
he didn't like using it.
470
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:31,520
He said,
"For my voyage to the Indies,
471
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:35,640
"I did not make use of intelligence,
mathematics or maps."
472
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:39,610
At that rate, it's surprising
he made use of a ship.
473
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:45,400
So, how exactly was he navigating
his way to Asia?
474
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:46,800
Let's find out.
475
00:25:46,801 --> 00:25:49,079
Sailors would use something
called "dead reckoning".
476
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,600
Which is nothing
to do with being dead -
477
00:25:51,601 --> 00:25:53,039
although that was highly likely
478
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:54,759
if you were a sailor
in Columbus's time -
479
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,399
but it's to do
with your relationship
480
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:58,159
to something
that is dead in the water.
481
00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:00,440
Typically, a piece of seaweed.
482
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:05,200
If I toss this over the side,
that's dead in the water.
483
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,480
There it goes. We're going that way.
484
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:10,440
It can also tell you
how fast we're going that way.
485
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:14,920
'Time to reckon with dead reckoning
with a little challenge.'
486
00:26:14,921 --> 00:26:16,279
Right, what we're gonna do now
487
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:20,320
is attempt to sail
a perfect equilateral triangle,
488
00:26:20,360 --> 00:26:21,720
in which each side
489
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:23,960
is half a nautical mile long.
490
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,800
'We'll navigate our triangle course
Columbus-style.
491
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:31,080
'Skipper Ben is in charge
of the seaweed dispersal.
492
00:26:31,120 --> 00:26:34,240
'Skipper Alan
is in charge of direction.
493
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:37,560
'And Skipper Me is in charge of time
494
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:39,720
'and bossing
the other skippers about.'
495
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:42,560
I'm going to count how long
it takes the seaweed to go
496
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:45,160
past the boat,
all the way to the stern.
497
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:48,960
They didn't have any reliable way of
measuring seconds back in the day,
498
00:26:48,961 --> 00:26:51,639
so they had to do it by chanting,
which is what I'll do.
499
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:53,880
OK, skip, are you ready
with seaweed? Aye.
500
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:56,400
And go!
501
00:26:56,440 --> 00:27:01,240
One mea culpa, two mea culpa,
three mea culpa, four mea culpa.
502
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:05,560
Four seconds. Four seconds
is a boat speed of four knots.
503
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:08,640
So, to do a nautical mile
will take us...?
504
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:11,760
Seven-and-a-half minutes.
Seven-and-a-half minutes, OK.
505
00:27:11,761 --> 00:27:14,959
By the way, the reason the chant
for the piece the seaweed going past
506
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:17,800
is "one mea culpa, two mea culpa"
is because, well,
507
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:20,320
these days, we'd say
"one potato, two potato",
508
00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:23,240
but potatoes
hadn't been invented yet.
509
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:24,680
SKIPPER LAUGHS
510
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:28,350
About a minute to go
until the new heading.
511
00:27:28,360 --> 00:27:30,160
'On Columbus's voyage,
512
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:34,360
'the crew made careful records
of speed and direction every hour.'
513
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,040
Nobody panic yet.
514
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:40,480
'But for our exercise, we have to do
it on each new leg of the triangle.'
515
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:42,720
Ready to go about. And go!
516
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,560
That's gonna go with a bang, guys.
Yeah.
517
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:50,640
Helm over.
OK, jibe ho!
518
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:56,160
Cor!
And yes, go!
519
00:27:57,160 --> 00:28:01,240
One mea culpa, two mea culpa,
three mea...
520
00:28:01,241 --> 00:28:02,679
It's just under three seconds.
521
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:05,400
Six knots, five minutes.
Relax, everybody.
522
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:08,760
And next, we will turn back
for the final leg
523
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,840
of our perfectly-sailed
equilateral triangle.
524
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:16,160
'After one more tack...'
525
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:19,200
Here we go.
526
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,920
OK.
'..one more speed check...'
527
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:30,080
Four mea culpa, five mea culpa...
Three-and-a-half knots, six minutes.
528
00:28:30,120 --> 00:28:32,960
'..and five-and-a-quarter
more minutes...'
529
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,760
We've got about 45 seconds to go,
crew,
530
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:39,280
and then we will be back
exactly where we started.
531
00:28:39,281 --> 00:28:40,879
Keep on saying it,
and you'll be right!
532
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:44,680
ALL LAUGH
Does it look like where we started?
533
00:28:44,681 --> 00:28:47,039
Well, the point is,
it does look like where we started,
534
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:49,439
because it looks like the sea,
that's part of the problem.
535
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:51,880
Yes, yeah.
And hang on, here we go.
536
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:55,160
Three, two, one. There we are,
we are back where we started.
537
00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:57,560
Perfect.
In the ocean.
538
00:28:59,960 --> 00:29:03,160
Right, let's have a look at
the actual GPS plot of what we did.
539
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:05,160
Right.
Our triangle.
540
00:29:05,161 --> 00:29:08,239
There you go.
That is absolutely woeful.
541
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:10,760
BOTH LAUGH
It's not...
542
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:15,040
It's not even vaguely triangular.
It's actually more of a rectangle.
543
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:18,280
'If we went this badly wrong
over just three nautical miles,
544
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:22,800
'imagine how wrong
Columbus was going over 3,000.'
545
00:29:22,801 --> 00:29:24,799
We were a bit rubbish then,
but in fairness to us,
546
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:27,440
so was Christopher Columbus.
547
00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:29,240
Everything he did was wrong.
548
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:32,120
It's a miracle he found
anything at all, really,
549
00:29:32,121 --> 00:29:33,839
and didn't just go round
in a circle.
550
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:37,320
In truth,
the ships were lost at sea,
551
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:41,480
heading in the direction
not of China, but Papua New Guinea,
552
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:44,000
and that would have been
a whole other story.
553
00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:49,840
The weeks were ticking by,
554
00:29:49,841 --> 00:29:52,279
and the crew were getting
more and more worried,
555
00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:55,960
because sooner or later,
their supplies would run out,
556
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,440
if indeed they were still edible.
557
00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:03,240
Which brings me back to Spain
and onto my favourite subject.
558
00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:05,280
Now, I've said this
many times before,
559
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:07,760
but this is an excellent place
to say it again.
560
00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:11,520
Woodwork... is important.
561
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:13,560
WHIRRING
562
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:19,760
Good woodworking was a matter
of life and death for sailors,
563
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:22,280
not just because
their ships were made of wood
564
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:25,880
but because of what
is being made here - barrels!
565
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:28,560
These people are coopers.
566
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:31,240
'What a polite man.
567
00:30:31,241 --> 00:30:33,439
'I don't think
he actually needed that bit.
568
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:37,040
'In case you haven't noticed
the racket in the background,
569
00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:39,720
'there have been a few updates
570
00:30:39,721 --> 00:30:42,279
'since the handsaws and planes
of Columbus's day.'
571
00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:46,560
Each vertical piece,
or stave, as it's called,
572
00:30:46,561 --> 00:30:49,239
is quite a sophisticated component
in its own right.
573
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:52,520
It is of itself barrelled,
to use the engineering term,
574
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:55,080
it's fatter in the middle
than at the ends.
575
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:58,600
It's also hollowed out
on the inside,
576
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:01,640
and it's slightly chamfered
on both edges.
577
00:31:01,641 --> 00:31:05,079
'Now, like me,
you're probably thinking
578
00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:07,160
'that these barrels are love poems
579
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:10,120
'written in the language
of exquisitely curved oak.
580
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:12,960
'But no,
this is some high-grade tech,
581
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:14,680
'engineered with precision
582
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:18,880
'to perfectly preserve Columbus's
food and wine... and weevils.
583
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:21,720
'They are the tin cans
of the 15th century,
584
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:23,840
'just a lot more beautiful.'
585
00:31:23,841 --> 00:31:26,159
Your half-finished barrel
is soaked in water
586
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:27,800
to make the wood more pliant.
587
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:33,040
And then it's brought over here
and put on a bonfire.
588
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:37,120
Whoa!
589
00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:43,920
Thank God he put it out.
590
00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:45,680
Look at the inside.
591
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:49,920
'The fire leaves behind a layer
of carbon that helps seal the wood.'
592
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:51,800
It's a thing of beauty.
593
00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:55,080
It's still not finished.
594
00:31:57,691 --> 00:32:01,639
Getting that end in
is a little bit like
595
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:04,640
getting the tyre back
on your bicycle after a puncture.
596
00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:12,920
Gracias.
Did you see the end-over-end bit?
597
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:14,950
That's why the barrel is
the shape it is.
598
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:17,760
It's a very,
very manoeuvrable object.
599
00:32:17,761 --> 00:32:19,799
Skilled people
can just flip them around,
600
00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:21,920
spin them around,
roll them over there,
601
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:23,560
even when they're full.
602
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:26,880
MUSIC: 'The Blue Danube'
by Johann Strauss II
603
00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:36,760
You find yourself slightly in fear
of being run over by a barrel.
604
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:47,280
So, there is the completed barrel.
605
00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:49,760
A thing of beauty, but also vital,
606
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:52,240
because all the provisions
that went onboard
607
00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:54,880
would have gone in these,
liquids and food.
608
00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:56,200
That horrible hard tack,
609
00:32:56,201 --> 00:32:58,359
the ship's biscuits
that we made earlier on,
610
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:00,039
they would have been stored
in these.
611
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:03,920
So they had to be perfectly sealed,
otherwise liquids would run out
612
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:06,640
or seawater would get in
and make those biscuits,
613
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:09,880
believe it or not,
even more unpalatable.
614
00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:13,600
So, this really is a matter
of life and death for sailors.
615
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:17,720
The cooper is as important as
the captain and as the shipwright.
616
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:22,080
So, I'm gonna say it again,
woodwork is important!
617
00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:24,440
Now, while these beautiful barrels
618
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:28,160
would have perfectly preserved
Columbus's dried foods,
619
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:29,640
as his voyage went on,
620
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:32,320
his drinking water
would have started festering
621
00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:33,920
with deadly diseases.
622
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:37,840
Time to visit a lab
with my own mini water barrel,
623
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:40,120
presumably made by a mini cooper.
624
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:43,800
Now, four weeks or so ago,
625
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:47,080
Jason, our Spanish fixer,
filled this with water,
626
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:49,560
well water, fresh but untreated,
627
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:52,670
exactly the sort that Columbus
would have had on his journey.
628
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:56,240
And Chris thought the voyage
would last for four weeks.
629
00:33:56,280 --> 00:34:02,920
So, let's see what four-week-old
barrel-stored water is like.
630
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:07,840
Here we have a sample pot,
and we need 100 millilitres.
631
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:12,200
Oh, dear. It's disgusting.
632
00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:21,640
It's sort of stale
and definitely a bit brown.
633
00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:24,080
If only we had lab technician
called Melania
634
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:26,400
to do a proper analysis
of that for us.
635
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:28,120
Gracias.
636
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:32,560
'Melania is going to extract
the filth from our water
637
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:36,640
'and grow a culture from it
to see what's lurking.'
638
00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:39,560
That now goes off
for analysis in the lab.
639
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:41,640
She'll also do a second batch
640
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:45,000
that factors in
the sailors' hygiene onboard.
641
00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:47,640
Last time I was left alone
in a chemistry lab
642
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:50,600
with a Bunsen burner
was in about 1976.
643
00:34:51,720 --> 00:34:53,400
Didn't end very well.
644
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:57,910
So, now do I get
to look down a microscope?
645
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:01,160
'In the great tradition
of television,
646
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,040
'here's one Melania made earlier.
647
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:06,880
'First, the four-week-old well
water, straight from the barrel.'
648
00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:11,880
Oh, that looks disgusting!
What is it?
649
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:13,920
IN SPANISH:
650
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:19,400
'The bacteria in this water
651
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:23,400
'could cause food poisoning,
pneumonia and sepsis.
652
00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:27,640
'Bad news for Columbus's crew.
What about the second sample?'
653
00:35:29,240 --> 00:35:32,120
Now, what Melania did
is sort of simulate water
654
00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:36,160
that would have been drunk by people
from a communal scuttle bucket
655
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:39,760
with their personal drinking cups -
tankards, if you like.
656
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:41,960
And, of course,
the sailors didn't live
657
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,200
particularly clean
or wholesome lives,
658
00:35:44,240 --> 00:35:46,960
so things like sweat
and faecal matter
659
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:48,480
would have been introduced.
660
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:51,120
And I'll look at it underneath
my magnifying lamp.
661
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:54,120
Eurgh! It's got a face!
662
00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:57,240
This sample
actually has E. coli in it.
663
00:35:57,280 --> 00:36:01,280
So, what that means is if you were
a sailor in the 15th century
664
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:03,920
and you wanted to go
on a voyage of exploration,
665
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:08,080
you had to be prepared
to drink Tom Bowling's turds.
666
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:10,920
Thank you, that was... delightful.
667
00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:20,240
Back to 1492, nearly a month
into Columbus's journey.
668
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:23,560
He'd thought that by now
he'd be enjoying a slap-up supper
669
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:26,080
and a hero's welcome in Asia.
670
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:28,880
But he was still lost
in the blue beyond.
671
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:32,000
Four weeks passed
and then five weeks.
672
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:35,520
Supplies were dwindling.
There was still no sign of land.
673
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:38,480
The crew were becoming edgy,
and they wanted to turn back.
674
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,240
Columbus's crap sums
on the back of an envelope
675
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:45,200
were leading them further
and further into nothingness.
676
00:36:45,240 --> 00:36:47,760
The water must have been
disgusting by now.
677
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:54,760
But maybe God
was on Columbus's side.
678
00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:57,120
Because after five and a bit weeks
at sea,
679
00:36:57,160 --> 00:37:00,880
and at almost exactly the point
where he said they would find land,
680
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:04,080
they found... land.
681
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:06,560
But it wasn't Asia.
682
00:37:14,751 --> 00:37:20,239
JAMES MAY: 'You rejoin me
at an exciting time, viewers.
683
00:37:20,240 --> 00:37:23,440
'An utterly inept sailor...'
684
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:25,320
Boom!
685
00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:31,120
'..not me - Columbus - had somehow
crossed an ocean and made it to...
686
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:35,880
'not Asia, some mysterious islands
that we now know as the Bahamas,
687
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:40,880
'Cuba and Hispaniola
in the Caribbean in the Americas.
688
00:37:40,881 --> 00:37:42,359
'Try telling him that, though.'
689
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:46,400
'He was certain he was
on some islands just off Japan.'
690
00:37:46,401 --> 00:37:48,679
Now, it's probably fair to say
that the people of Spain
691
00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:52,240
weren't exactly on tenterhooks
waiting for news of Columbus.
692
00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:54,120
He'd been gone for seven months.
693
00:37:54,121 --> 00:37:56,359
Most people thought
they'd never have to be bothered
694
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:57,480
by Columbus again.
695
00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:59,720
But then a letter
to the Queen arrived,
696
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:02,800
sent by Columbus
on his safe return to Europe.
697
00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:04,480
I've got a copy of it here.
698
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:07,480
It's all written
in miniscule Old Spanish,
699
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:12,440
but this is the 21st century,
so I have a translation app.
700
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:16,920
And he wrote that,
"I arrived at the Indian Sea..."
701
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:18,120
Ha-ha-ha.
702
00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:21,720
"..where I discovered many islands
inhabited by many people.
703
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:26,040
"I took possession of all of them
for our most illustrious King
704
00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:29,400
"by public proclamation
and unfurling of banners,
705
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:31,800
"with no-one making any resistance."
706
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:33,200
Really?
707
00:38:33,240 --> 00:38:37,240
The letter was shared
all over Europe, accompanied by -
708
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:40,840
brace yourselves, viewers, for
the next best thing after woodwork -
709
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:42,240
woodcut prints.
710
00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:43,640
CHORAL MUSIC
711
00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:47,760
This is a 15th-century version
of a tabloid front page.
712
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:51,520
The first thrilling pictures
of the new lands to the west
713
00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:53,760
and of the local Taino people,
714
00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:56,840
who Columbus said
welcomed them with open arms.
715
00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:59,640
Also, here's one in colour
as a treat.
716
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:02,560
"They traded with us
and gave us all they had,
717
00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:04,720
"graciously and willingly.
718
00:39:04,721 --> 00:39:06,919
"Your Highness may believe
that in all the world,
719
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:08,840
"there can be no better people.
720
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:11,800
"They love their neighbours
as they love themselves.
721
00:39:11,801 --> 00:39:13,759
"They have the sweetest manner
in the world,
722
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:16,520
"and they are gentle
and always laughing."
723
00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:19,600
Now, we should probably take
a moment to enjoy that record
724
00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:23,240
of a rather beautiful bit
of human interaction,
725
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:26,960
because pretty soon,
things are gonna get a bit bloody.
726
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:30,640
The ships returned,
minus the Santa Maria,
727
00:39:30,641 --> 00:39:32,839
which Columbus,
ever the skilled navigator,
728
00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:35,120
had crashed into some rocks.
729
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:37,440
And he got a bit lost too.
730
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:39,760
But when they finally arrived,
731
00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:42,360
the nation was
in fevered anticipation
732
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:44,440
to see what they'd brought back.
733
00:39:45,680 --> 00:39:50,320
The two ships arrived back in Spain
seven months after they'd departed,
734
00:39:50,321 --> 00:39:52,999
and they were full
of marvellous and exotic things,
735
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,759
the likes of which had never
been seen in mouldy old Europe.
736
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:59,320
To start with, exotic fruits.
737
00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:02,120
Here is a selection of things
that weren't available
738
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:04,920
in the local greengrocer
up until then.
739
00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:07,440
This one deserves
a particular mention.
740
00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:10,960
It is a fruit.
It is a chilli pepper.
741
00:40:10,961 --> 00:40:12,839
And people discovered
that if you ate these,
742
00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:15,399
they set fire to both ends
of your alimentary canal,
743
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:18,960
but they did change
our eating habits forever.
744
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:20,600
There were fun new pets.
745
00:40:20,601 --> 00:40:22,399
Talking parrots became all the rage,
746
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:25,040
whether you were a prince
or a pirate.
747
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:27,520
This one came
from the visitor's centre.
748
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:29,800
There were things to swing in.
749
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:32,920
The hammock would go on
to revolutionise sailing
750
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:34,640
and the health of sailors.
751
00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:37,560
There was... oh, dear, tobacco.
752
00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:39,160
The sailors tried this,
753
00:40:39,161 --> 00:40:41,679
and the weird thing was
that once they tried it once,
754
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:43,639
they found
they couldn't stop trying it.
755
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:48,000
And there was one other thing
that was even more addictive.
756
00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:49,120
That...
757
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:52,480
..is gold.
758
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:56,880
Forget Asian silks and spices,
759
00:40:56,920 --> 00:41:00,880
this was the stuff
explorers' dreams are made of.
760
00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:03,920
The word "gold" appears
in Columbus's diary
761
00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:07,840
of his first voyage 142 times.
762
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:10,880
In truth, he only managed
to scrounge a piddling amount
763
00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:12,120
from the Taino people,
764
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:14,200
but that's not
what he told the Queen.
765
00:41:14,240 --> 00:41:17,040
He said they had
"vast mines of gold"
766
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:21,600
and that she could have as much gold
as she desired.
767
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:26,760
That little white lie
was the sweetest sound to a monarch,
768
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:29,440
because gold means power.
769
00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:31,560
Gold! We've always believed in it.
770
00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:34,200
Humans have been obsessed with it.
And why?
771
00:41:34,240 --> 00:41:36,640
Well, the Aztecs thought
it was produced
772
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:38,800
by the life-giving force of the sun.
773
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:43,400
It's also in limited supply,
which means it can be controlled.
774
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:47,840
Even today, it is believed that
all of the world's gold reserves
775
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:52,240
would fit in one big block between
the legs of the Eiffel Tower.
776
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:58,400
'Here, old gold is melted down and
refined in one of these, a crucible,
777
00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:00,200
'by one of these, an Adam.'
778
00:42:00,201 --> 00:42:02,839
How long will that take to warm up?
About five to eight minutes.
779
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:07,320
'The Taino gold was in the form of
beautiful jewellery and keepsakes,
780
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:11,520
'but to Columbus,
it just meant cold, hard cash.'
781
00:42:11,521 --> 00:42:14,359
It's things that were once
incredibly precious to people,
782
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:15,799
but they're probably now dead.
783
00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:17,960
Just remember that when you retire
784
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:22,120
and you're given your gold watch
or your solid gold letter opener,
785
00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:26,560
one day, you will turn to dust,
and it will turn to scrap.
786
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:28,160
There it is.
787
00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:30,640
That's upbeat, isn't it?
THEY CHUCKLE
788
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:34,880
The crucible is now
as red as a Spanish sailor
789
00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:37,680
exposed to too much Caribbean sun.
790
00:42:37,720 --> 00:42:41,520
This is your last chance
to reclaim that wedding ring,
791
00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:44,280
gold sovereign, watch band.
792
00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:46,560
No? OK, chuck it in, then.
793
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:51,640
It's all gone in the pot.
It's all coming out as an ingot.
794
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:55,960
I love the colours of the flames.
Look at that green there.
795
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,000
Gone.
796
00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:00,800
'While our gold melts,
797
00:43:00,801 --> 00:43:04,239
'let's look at how Columbus managed
to persuade his new acquaintances
798
00:43:04,240 --> 00:43:06,960
'in the Caribbean
to part with their gold.'
799
00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:11,710
Now, the Taino people on the islands
didn't have this technology.
800
00:43:11,720 --> 00:43:13,280
They didn't have furnaces.
801
00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:16,520
What they would do was find nuggets
in the streams and rivers
802
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:18,680
and simply hammer them into shape.
803
00:43:18,720 --> 00:43:22,640
But what really impressed them
was the work of the Arawak people
804
00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:25,440
on the mainland,
because they did have furnaces.
805
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:29,600
They melted gold, and they
alloyed it with rich red copper
806
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:33,720
to give them something a bit like
what we would call rose gold.
807
00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:36,680
They called it "guanin".
808
00:43:36,720 --> 00:43:40,040
Now, fortuitously,
Columbus's men had with them
809
00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:43,520
a great deal
of another copper alloy, brass,
810
00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:45,520
which is made from copper and zinc.
811
00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:47,730
And it was in the form
of trinkets, really,
812
00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:49,640
like these little hawk bells.
813
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:53,920
And the Tainos really loved these,
because they looked like,
814
00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:58,160
and just as importantly,
even smelled like
815
00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:00,200
the guanin from the mainland.
816
00:44:00,240 --> 00:44:06,400
So the sailors were able to trade
these virtually worthless trinkets
817
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:09,640
for handfuls of real gold.
818
00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:13,280
The sailors
couldn't believe their luck.
819
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:15,600
Neither could the Spanish Crown.
820
00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:21,440
Right, here is the big moment,
the pour.
821
00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:23,080
I am going to press the button.
822
00:44:23,081 --> 00:44:24,759
Are you ready for me
to press the button?
823
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:25,810
Ready.
Here it comes.
824
00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:31,120
Ah! Gold!
825
00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:35,680
We talk about people
dripping in gold.
826
00:44:35,720 --> 00:44:39,840
This actually is dripping gold.
827
00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:44,080
Looks like a slightly...
bar of toffee at the moment.
828
00:44:44,120 --> 00:44:45,640
Just don't lick it.
829
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:50,040
'Columbus said that gold
is the greatest treasure
830
00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:54,160
'and that he who possesses it
can do all he wishes in life.'
831
00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:56,000
I like it!
832
00:44:56,040 --> 00:44:59,200
'Gold, simply put, meant greatness.'
833
00:44:59,240 --> 00:45:04,640
Gold, like the love it so often
represents, has been quenched.
834
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:07,120
Last thing now, to clean it.
835
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:13,320
And it's heavy... because it's gold!
836
00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:19,520
Oh-ho-ho! There it is.
837
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:23,080
Even in that state, it's worth,
I would guess,
838
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:25,920
what, �350,000-�400,000?
839
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:27,360
Yeah, give or take.
840
00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:30,320
So, really,
it's that or a pretty decent house.
841
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:34,920
That's what the Spanish
went mad for.
842
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:36,440
It drove them insane.
843
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:41,760
Is your security quite good here?
844
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:46,760
Columbus was
the court's new golden boy.
845
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:49,680
He was granted a second voyage
post-haste,
846
00:45:49,720 --> 00:45:52,200
but this wasn't just a gold grab -
847
00:45:52,240 --> 00:45:54,920
or at least
it couldn't be seen as one.
848
00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:58,680
Isabella wanted souls too,
to convert the Taino people
849
00:45:58,720 --> 00:46:01,840
from their gods
to her Christian one.
850
00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:05,400
This time,
Columbus set sail with 17 ships
851
00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:06,920
full of sailors, obviously,
852
00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:12,280
but also soldiers, priests,
woodworkers, stonemasons, miners,
853
00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:15,640
everybody you needed
to set up a whole new society.
854
00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:18,440
And his instructions
from the Crown were twofold -
855
00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:22,040
convert souls and find gold!
856
00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:37,000
JAMES MAY:
'Welcome, viewers, to 1493.
857
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:41,040
'And Christopher Columbus
is now a pretty big queso
858
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:43,120
'after finding land to the west
859
00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:45,720
'glittering with the promise
of gold.'
860
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:48,360
I am walking on television.
861
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:51,400
'But now he has to do it again.
862
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:55,800
'And all of Europe is watching.'
863
00:46:56,960 --> 00:46:59,680
Now, as we know,
he's a terrible navigator.
864
00:46:59,720 --> 00:47:01,220
Look, he's dropped the chart,
865
00:47:01,240 --> 00:47:03,720
and that globe's
probably just a drinks cabinet.
866
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:07,320
So, how the hell is he going to
pull it off it a second time?
867
00:47:07,360 --> 00:47:10,080
Well, it was actually
a bit of a breeze.
868
00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:17,280
This bucket o' ice represents
the cold of the North Pole,
869
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:21,880
and this bucket of hot water
represents the heat of the equator.
870
00:47:22,920 --> 00:47:24,280
Science again!
871
00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:27,880
My handy smoke stick
will show how wind is formed.
872
00:47:27,920 --> 00:47:31,040
And you will see
that the flow of cold to warm
873
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:35,440
will make it go down that tube
to the equator in a second.
874
00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:38,800
Yes! Look at that!
875
00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:41,600
That's really quite fabulous,
isn't it?
876
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:45,480
Anyway, if I can just give that
to an assistant
877
00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:49,480
so I don't burn down Christopher
Columbus's old headquarters.
878
00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:54,920
That steady airflow, AKA wind,
is pretty handy for sailors.
879
00:47:54,960 --> 00:48:00,960
If we look at the globe again,
that means the wind would blow...
880
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:03,760
Whee! ..south towards the equator.
881
00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:05,800
But of course,
the world is spinning.
882
00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:09,680
So if I make the wind blow
and the world spin
883
00:48:09,720 --> 00:48:12,240
at the same time, look what we get.
884
00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:15,520
That was almost spot-on, actually.
885
00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:20,800
Columbus had stumbled upon God's
own transatlantic conveyor belt,
886
00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:23,120
the trade winds.
887
00:48:23,121 --> 00:48:24,839
And this is still used
by modern sailors.
888
00:48:24,840 --> 00:48:28,080
They say things like, "If you want
to go to America from Europe,
889
00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:31,680
"sail south until butter melts,
and then turn right."
890
00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:35,520
Now, any old idiot could sail
to the Americas,
891
00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:38,000
but next came the difficult part -
892
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:42,400
establishing
Spain's first New World HQ.
893
00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:45,440
So, a man who was bad at maths
but got lucky
894
00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:48,360
was now tasked with setting up
a whole town
895
00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:51,160
on an island 4,000 miles away.
896
00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:53,720
1,200 people
would be travelling with him,
897
00:48:53,721 --> 00:48:57,079
and they would need housing,
and before that, of course, feeding,
898
00:48:57,080 --> 00:48:59,520
and that meant taking animals.
899
00:49:01,080 --> 00:49:06,120
'Columbus packed cows, mules,
some of these cute little fellas...'
900
00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:08,560
He's surprisingly heavy
for a little pig.
901
00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:12,160
'..and, of course, a herd of TV's
least co-operative contributors.'
902
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:15,680
Hello, goat.
They are largely buggering off.
903
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:20,640
Now, all of the animals they took
904
00:49:20,641 --> 00:49:23,319
were completely alien
to the people of the Caribbean.
905
00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:26,000
The only animals
they had domesticated so far
906
00:49:26,040 --> 00:49:29,720
were dogs and guinea pigs,
which were for -
907
00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:32,240
children, look away - eating.
908
00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:39,480
Columbus's ships were
the New World Noah's Ark.
909
00:49:39,520 --> 00:49:43,440
His animals would go on
to populate the Americas.
910
00:49:43,441 --> 00:49:45,559
Every time
the Spanish passed an island,
911
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:48,039
they'd drop off a couple of pigs,
a boy and a girl, obviously,
912
00:49:48,040 --> 00:49:51,050
so that they would multiply
and become a future food source.
913
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:55,120
It's just cupboard love, isn't it?
GOAT BLEATS
914
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:56,880
You just want goat snacks.
915
00:49:56,920 --> 00:49:59,240
Chomp, chomp, chomp!
916
00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:01,960
Goats like these
ran wild and feral all over.
917
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:05,360
And if you'd never heard one,
you might have found their bleating
918
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:08,440
quite intimidating
or even terrifying
919
00:50:08,480 --> 00:50:12,440
until you work out that goats
are actually just complete halfwits.
920
00:50:12,480 --> 00:50:14,360
Aren't you?
921
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:17,400
But there was one animal
922
00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:20,560
that would truly captivate
the people of the New World.
923
00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:22,960
Imagine if you'd never seen
a horse before,
924
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:25,560
or, more importantly,
seen someone riding one
925
00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:29,000
going faster than any human could go
on their own legs.
926
00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:31,640
The horse would become
incredibly important
927
00:50:31,641 --> 00:50:33,319
to the indigenous people's culture,
928
00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:35,479
because they could ride them
for transport.
929
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:38,920
They also used them
for warfare and for hunting.
930
00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:40,100
And most importantly,
931
00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:43,250
if you'd never seen a horse before
and you didn't have horses,
932
00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:46,240
you would never have seen
that level of cuteness.
933
00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:49,400
That foal is one week old.
934
00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:52,000
Took me years to learn that,
935
00:50:52,040 --> 00:50:55,600
standing up and... wagging my tail.
936
00:50:57,480 --> 00:50:59,200
Oh.
CREW: Hey!
937
00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:06,520
Riches from Columbus's new colony
938
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:09,480
would soon start arriving
back in Spain,
939
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:13,040
and the palace in Seville
became the operations centre
940
00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:16,000
for all New World exploration.
941
00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:19,320
Spain was so delighted
with its new lands,
942
00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:21,440
it wanted the world
to know about them.
943
00:51:21,441 --> 00:51:24,959
And the way to get
the world's attention back then
944
00:51:24,960 --> 00:51:26,720
was with a painting.
945
00:51:26,760 --> 00:51:27,920
Wow!
946
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:31,160
This is
The Virgin Of The Navigators.
947
00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:37,320
This painting comes from an era
when art was largely functional.
948
00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:40,720
It was there to dispense
quite clear messages.
949
00:51:40,721 --> 00:51:43,999
And the one in this painting
seems to be that Columbus's journeys
950
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:48,520
were really more like missions,
it was about spreading Christianity.
951
00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:50,800
And the painting is surrounded
by saints.
952
00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:53,240
It's all pretty clear.
953
00:51:53,280 --> 00:51:57,800
It's not about conquering lands
or anything tawdry
954
00:51:57,840 --> 00:52:00,600
like, I don't know, gold.
955
00:52:03,720 --> 00:52:06,840
Even then, spin was alive and well,
956
00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:11,000
and there's a second lie
hidden in the painting.
957
00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:13,520
You will notice at the back,
barely visible,
958
00:52:13,560 --> 00:52:16,320
the indigenous people
gratefully sheltering
959
00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:18,680
under the loving embrace
of the virgin,
960
00:52:18,720 --> 00:52:21,360
just as Queen Isabella herself
felt that she was.
961
00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:23,600
Isabella had told Columbus,
962
00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:28,960
"Treat my Indians well and kindly
and do not upset them in any way."
963
00:52:31,240 --> 00:52:33,200
Well, guess what?
964
00:52:33,201 --> 00:52:35,639
Thanks to the trade winds,
965
00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:39,080
Columbus had arrived
back in Hispaniola,
966
00:52:39,120 --> 00:52:41,600
which he still insisted was Asia.
967
00:52:41,640 --> 00:52:44,960
He built a rudimentary camp,
called it La Isabela
968
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,880
and waited for the gold to roll in.
969
00:52:47,881 --> 00:52:51,679
So, this story so far
has been really rather upbeat,
970
00:52:51,680 --> 00:52:54,560
nice sailing ships,
making barrels and so on.
971
00:52:54,600 --> 00:52:57,680
And now it's turning
a little bit dark.
972
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:01,240
He immediately ran into a problem.
973
00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:05,000
The settlers he brought with him
weren't collecting enough gold.
974
00:53:05,001 --> 00:53:07,319
But that was OK,
because he had the answer as well.
975
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:09,040
He'd get the local people to do it.
976
00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:10,480
So, he decided that
977
00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:14,000
the Taino people would deliver him
one hawk's bell full of gold
978
00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:17,120
every three months,
or they would be punished.
979
00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:23,120
Now, I have to warn you that
these next pictures are horrifying.
980
00:53:23,160 --> 00:53:24,680
It was brutal.
981
00:53:24,720 --> 00:53:27,400
There were floggings
and maulings by dogs,
982
00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:29,790
women were raped,
people's hands were cut off
983
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:31,760
and they were left
to bleed to death.
984
00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:33,360
There were mass suicides,
985
00:53:33,400 --> 00:53:36,240
and hundreds were sent to Spain
as slaves,
986
00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:38,320
to the horror of Isabella.
987
00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:43,040
It was all presided over
by Columbus, and all for gold.
988
00:53:43,041 --> 00:53:44,879
Now, none of this stuff is mentioned
989
00:53:44,880 --> 00:53:49,880
in the famous 1492 ditty,
unsurprisingly.
990
00:53:49,920 --> 00:53:55,680
Word got back to Spain, but Columbus
would still make two more voyages.
991
00:53:55,720 --> 00:53:58,360
It was only when
the Spanish settlers complained
992
00:53:58,400 --> 00:54:00,680
about him flogging them too
993
00:54:00,720 --> 00:54:04,760
that Ferdinand and Isabella
could no longer turn a blind eye.
994
00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:08,400
Spain's national hero
was brought back in chains
995
00:54:08,440 --> 00:54:11,640
and banned
from the colony he'd founded.
996
00:54:12,800 --> 00:54:14,800
But that wasn't the end
of the regime.
997
00:54:14,840 --> 00:54:17,920
In fact, it was only the beginning.
998
00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:21,520
Pretty soon, Isabella was sending
anybody who had a ship
999
00:54:21,560 --> 00:54:22,680
over to the Americas,
1000
00:54:22,720 --> 00:54:25,400
and they would take their crops,
their animals,
1001
00:54:25,440 --> 00:54:29,080
everything they needed
to set up a new society.
1002
00:54:29,120 --> 00:54:34,120
And they also took death,
because they took disease.
1003
00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:39,680
This handsome building
is St Bart's Hospital in London.
1004
00:54:39,720 --> 00:54:42,440
It's home to their Pathology Museum,
1005
00:54:42,480 --> 00:54:45,360
which is home
to these interesting-looking jars,
1006
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:46,450
which are home to...
1007
00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:51,400
..oh, dear, bits of people.
1008
00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:53,600
This is one of the few places
in the world
1009
00:54:53,640 --> 00:54:56,200
where you can still see
the hideous effects
1010
00:54:56,240 --> 00:55:00,800
of the sort of diseases that
were rife in the time of Columbus.
1011
00:55:00,840 --> 00:55:04,080
Here, for example,
is what smallpox does to you.
1012
00:55:04,120 --> 00:55:09,560
It causes the end of your foot
to drop off and land in this jar.
1013
00:55:09,600 --> 00:55:14,080
This is what bubonic plague does
to your kidneys.
1014
00:55:14,120 --> 00:55:18,320
Typhoid does this to your...
1015
00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:22,160
I think that's probably
someone's appendix, or was.
1016
00:55:22,200 --> 00:55:26,000
And then syphilis does
terrible things to your skull,
1017
00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:31,840
and it does particularly
terrible things to your "thumbs".
1018
00:55:33,800 --> 00:55:36,240
Now, the point here is
that Europeans had lived
1019
00:55:36,241 --> 00:55:38,719
with a lot of these diseases
for a very long time,
1020
00:55:38,720 --> 00:55:40,710
so they'd built up
a certain immunity,
1021
00:55:40,720 --> 00:55:43,680
they had antibodies
to act against them.
1022
00:55:43,720 --> 00:55:46,800
But the indigenous Americans
didn't have them.
1023
00:55:46,801 --> 00:55:48,599
So when the Spanish sailors arrived,
1024
00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:51,040
they brought quite a lot
of this stuff with them
1025
00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:53,000
to devastating effect.
1026
00:55:53,040 --> 00:55:58,240
So far, so horrifying,
but the history is worse.
1027
00:55:58,280 --> 00:56:01,600
'Dr Caroline Dodds Pennock
is not the sort of doctor
1028
00:56:01,640 --> 00:56:03,480
'who can help you with your plague
1029
00:56:03,520 --> 00:56:05,920
'but the sort
who can help us understand
1030
00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:09,200
'what the indigenous Americans
were experiencing.'
1031
00:56:09,240 --> 00:56:13,360
This is an image
of the 1520 smallpox epidemic
1032
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:16,170
which took place in
the Aztec capital of Tenochtitlan.
1033
00:56:16,200 --> 00:56:18,680
You can see
how people experienced it.
1034
00:56:18,681 --> 00:56:20,759
The woman here is caring,
they're speaking.
1035
00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:22,519
That's what
that little scrawl means.
1036
00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:24,159
She's caring for this person here.
1037
00:56:24,160 --> 00:56:27,160
This is smallpox?
This was new to them?
1038
00:56:27,200 --> 00:56:29,880
They didn't have it pre-Columbus?
It was. It was new.
1039
00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:32,720
It's the first
of three enormous epidemics
1040
00:56:32,760 --> 00:56:36,160
which sweep across Mexico
in the 16th century.
1041
00:56:36,200 --> 00:56:40,160
Within 150 years
of Columbus's voyage,
1042
00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:43,360
disease,
made worse by famine and war,
1043
00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:48,360
would kill a staggering 80%
of the indigenous American people.
1044
00:56:48,400 --> 00:56:52,000
And for those who survived,
more horrors awaited.
1045
00:56:52,040 --> 00:56:55,160
You have accounts of people
who are being enslaved
1046
00:56:55,200 --> 00:56:58,720
and transported across the Atlantic
even, some into the Caribbean,
1047
00:56:58,721 --> 00:57:00,959
some all the way as far
as Spain and Portugal.
1048
00:57:00,960 --> 00:57:02,679
I hadn't really
quite appreciated that.
1049
00:57:02,680 --> 00:57:05,280
So, the indigenous Americans,
1050
00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:08,920
they were actually enslaved
in Europe? Yes.
1051
00:57:08,960 --> 00:57:12,920
But it's a really unknown part
of this colonisation.
1052
00:57:12,921 --> 00:57:15,559
And so perhaps a million people
are enslaved in Mexico alone
1053
00:57:15,560 --> 00:57:18,080
in the first 100 years
after the invasion.
1054
00:57:18,120 --> 00:57:21,070
Maybe tens of thousands
are shipped across the Atlantic,
1055
00:57:21,080 --> 00:57:24,280
far more into other parts
of the Americas.
1056
00:57:24,320 --> 00:57:25,720
Wow. I didn't know that.
1057
00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:29,160
The better-known transatlantic
slave trade is, of course,
1058
00:57:29,200 --> 00:57:32,120
the one shipping African people
to the Americas.
1059
00:57:32,160 --> 00:57:36,720
And it turns out that's embedded
in the disease story too.
1060
00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:39,120
In the Caribbean especially,
1061
00:57:39,160 --> 00:57:42,000
the Spanish work to death
so many people,
1062
00:57:42,040 --> 00:57:45,560
and so many die of disease, that
they start needing more labourers.
1063
00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:48,240
So they begin to think
in terms of importing people
1064
00:57:48,280 --> 00:57:51,840
across the Atlantic to replace
the indigenous communities.
1065
00:57:51,880 --> 00:57:53,960
Right. Wow.
1066
00:57:55,880 --> 00:57:58,880
Some of the darkest chapters
of human history
1067
00:57:58,920 --> 00:58:02,360
seem to have followed
in Columbus's wake.
1068
00:58:03,320 --> 00:58:06,480
In your opinion,
Columbus, goodie or baddie?
1069
00:58:06,520 --> 00:58:08,200
Was he a product of his times,
1070
00:58:08,201 --> 00:58:10,199
and therefore
we shouldn't judge him for it,
1071
00:58:10,200 --> 00:58:11,760
or is he culpable?
1072
00:58:11,761 --> 00:58:14,239
I mean, as you'd expect
from a historian, I'm gonna hedge,
1073
00:58:14,240 --> 00:58:15,959
because I don't think
goodie or baddie
1074
00:58:15,960 --> 00:58:17,680
is a great way to measure history.
1075
00:58:17,720 --> 00:58:19,840
He was a product of his time,
1076
00:58:19,880 --> 00:58:22,960
but he was also
the largest single trader
1077
00:58:22,961 --> 00:58:25,799
in enslaved indigenous people
during this early period.
1078
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:30,000
He saw the slave fortresses
that the Portuguese had built
1079
00:58:30,040 --> 00:58:32,920
on the West African coast,
and he is inspired by that
1080
00:58:32,960 --> 00:58:35,880
and thinks he can do the same thing
in the Americas.
1081
00:58:35,881 --> 00:58:38,199
He literally says
to Ferdinand and Isabella,
1082
00:58:38,200 --> 00:58:40,840
"We can take as many of these people
as you want."
1083
00:58:40,841 --> 00:58:43,399
And it's all very well to say
he's a man of his time,
1084
00:58:43,400 --> 00:58:45,080
but Isabella is also of her time,
1085
00:58:45,081 --> 00:58:47,279
and she keeps saying,
"Stop enslaving these people.
1086
00:58:47,280 --> 00:58:48,720
"I've told you not to."
1087
00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:52,360
Yes. Very good point, yes. Hmm.
1088
00:59:08,480 --> 00:59:12,960
It's 1506, viewers, and after
four journeys to the Caribbean,
1089
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:18,120
Christopher Columbus has been banned
from the colony he'd helped found.
1090
00:59:18,160 --> 00:59:22,680
I bet you're gagging for me to tell
you about Columbus's fifth journey,
1091
00:59:22,720 --> 00:59:25,320
the one where
he finally discovers America,
1092
00:59:25,360 --> 00:59:29,520
what would become the USA and
where he is so widely celebrated.
1093
00:59:29,560 --> 00:59:30,880
Well, there wasn't one,
1094
00:59:30,881 --> 00:59:33,559
because he never went there
and he never set foot there.
1095
00:59:33,560 --> 00:59:38,280
Instead, he went to bed
in a sulk, in ill health,
1096
00:59:38,320 --> 00:59:41,240
and in a fury
over his fall from grace,
1097
00:59:41,280 --> 00:59:42,560
and then he died.
1098
00:59:42,561 --> 00:59:46,599
Historians speculate that the cause
of death could have been anything
1099
00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:50,760
from heart disease,
a tropical disease, arthritis,
1100
00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:54,640
an intestinal parasite
or even an STD.
1101
00:59:54,680 --> 00:59:59,120
Whatever, as the old sailors
used to say, he had gone aloft.
1102
00:59:59,160 --> 01:00:02,440
And he's probably buried here
in Seville's cathedral.
1103
01:00:02,441 --> 01:00:04,759
I say probably
because we can't be entirely sure.
1104
01:00:04,760 --> 01:00:08,880
He was dug up and reburied
six times.
1105
01:00:08,920 --> 01:00:11,880
An explorer, even in death.
1106
01:00:17,480 --> 01:00:20,200
So, Columbus's legacy.
1107
01:00:20,240 --> 01:00:23,120
This map was made
the year after he died.
1108
01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:26,240
But what are those two
weird streaky bits on the left?
1109
01:00:26,280 --> 01:00:28,960
Hint, they're not called
Columbus Land.
1110
01:00:30,040 --> 01:00:32,560
While Columbus maintained
right to the end
1111
01:00:32,600 --> 01:00:34,400
that he had been in Asia,
1112
01:00:34,440 --> 01:00:40,560
a rival explorer, Amerigo Vespucci,
had two continents named after him.
1113
01:00:40,600 --> 01:00:44,080
North Vespucci,
and, of course, South Vespucci (!)
1114
01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:48,920
'Soon, anyone with a ship
was heading to the Vespuccis,
1115
01:00:48,960 --> 01:00:52,080
'or the Americas,
as they're sometimes called.
1116
01:00:52,081 --> 01:00:54,239
'From now on,
there would be a constant flow
1117
01:00:54,240 --> 01:00:56,720
'of all sorts of strange
and wonderful goods
1118
01:00:56,760 --> 01:01:00,240
'to European shores,
from the exotic...
1119
01:01:00,280 --> 01:01:02,000
The pineapple!
1120
01:01:02,001 --> 01:01:04,879
So highly prized, if you were
having a posh dinner party,
1121
01:01:04,880 --> 01:01:07,200
you could rent one
to impress your mates.
1122
01:01:07,240 --> 01:01:08,960
'..to the delicious...'
1123
01:01:08,961 --> 01:01:11,399
Where would we be in Europe
without the potato?
1124
01:01:11,400 --> 01:01:15,640
No crisps, no chips,
no delicious Sunday roasties.
1125
01:01:15,680 --> 01:01:17,200
'..to the nutritious...'
1126
01:01:17,240 --> 01:01:23,840
Tomatoes, we had courgettes,
we had avocadoes.
1127
01:01:23,841 --> 01:01:26,959
Life for the European vegan
was about to become very exciting.
1128
01:01:26,960 --> 01:01:29,479
They'd been stuck with
the parsnip cutlet for centuries.
1129
01:01:29,480 --> 01:01:32,400
'..to the frankly world-changing.'
1130
01:01:32,440 --> 01:01:35,280
Very easy to grow,
doesn't require much irrigation.
1131
01:01:35,320 --> 01:01:37,920
And potatoes and maize together
1132
01:01:37,960 --> 01:01:40,840
would cause
a European population boom.
1133
01:01:40,841 --> 01:01:44,199
The exact opposite, in fact, of
what was happening in the Americas.
1134
01:01:44,200 --> 01:01:47,840
And as the Spanish took over
more of the new world,
1135
01:01:47,841 --> 01:01:49,479
spreading disease as they went,
1136
01:01:49,480 --> 01:01:53,480
they finally got hold
of what had eluded Columbus -
1137
01:01:53,520 --> 01:01:57,080
great big boatloads of gold.
1138
01:01:57,120 --> 01:02:01,960
Right, the exact figure is
hotly debated in academic circles -
1139
01:02:02,000 --> 01:02:06,640
ie pubs - but we believe that
prior to Columbus's first voyage,
1140
01:02:06,680 --> 01:02:12,280
the amount of gold in
the known world came to 297 tonnes.
1141
01:02:13,320 --> 01:02:15,480
We don't have
that kind of props budget,
1142
01:02:15,520 --> 01:02:19,000
so we're using a scale
of one gram to one tonne.
1143
01:02:19,040 --> 01:02:22,600
That is your 297 tonnes
in the world.
1144
01:02:22,640 --> 01:02:26,720
Within 60 years
of Columbus's first voyage,
1145
01:02:26,760 --> 01:02:30,920
the Spanish had extracted
from the New World
1146
01:02:30,960 --> 01:02:33,920
a further 100 tonnes.
1147
01:02:33,960 --> 01:02:35,880
Oh, look at that!
1148
01:02:35,920 --> 01:02:37,640
But that is actually nothing
1149
01:02:37,680 --> 01:02:40,160
compared with what happened
to silver.
1150
01:02:40,200 --> 01:02:43,800
Because it is thought
that before the Columbus voyage,
1151
01:02:43,840 --> 01:02:47,960
the world's silver reserves
was 3,600 tonnes,
1152
01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:49,640
which is represented by...
1153
01:02:53,440 --> 01:02:55,040
There it is in silver scrap.
1154
01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:58,040
How much do you think they extracted
from the New World?
1155
01:03:01,080 --> 01:03:02,840
Phwoar!
1156
01:03:05,320 --> 01:03:09,920
25,000 tonnes of silver.
1157
01:03:09,960 --> 01:03:13,080
For all Columbus's obsession
with gold,
1158
01:03:13,120 --> 01:03:16,240
it was silver
that changed the world.
1159
01:03:16,280 --> 01:03:20,720
This is what funded the building
of magnificent European cities,
1160
01:03:20,760 --> 01:03:24,640
a golden age - or silver age -
of art and literature
1161
01:03:24,680 --> 01:03:27,880
and the rise of European empires
1162
01:03:27,920 --> 01:03:30,760
which would go on to colonise
yet more lands.
1163
01:03:30,800 --> 01:03:33,880
Columbus's voyages
enriched the Old World
1164
01:03:33,920 --> 01:03:39,040
beyond their wildest dreams,
to the cost of the New World.
1165
01:03:43,840 --> 01:03:48,520
So, let's go back to the spot
whence he set off.
1166
01:03:48,560 --> 01:03:52,160
An obsessive map-botherer,
a crap navigator
1167
01:03:52,200 --> 01:03:54,240
and a bloodthirsty gold-looter
1168
01:03:54,280 --> 01:03:58,920
who took a punt on the trade winds
and changed both worlds forever.
1169
01:03:58,921 --> 01:04:03,599
I'm now charged with coming up
with some meaningful conclusions
1170
01:04:03,600 --> 01:04:06,400
about the voyages
of Christopher Columbus,
1171
01:04:06,440 --> 01:04:09,880
which feels like a open goal
to self-cancellation.
1172
01:04:09,920 --> 01:04:11,560
Because for hundreds of years,
1173
01:04:11,600 --> 01:04:14,280
Columbus had
a sort of historical whitewash.
1174
01:04:14,281 --> 01:04:16,999
There were countless positive tomes
written about him.
1175
01:04:17,000 --> 01:04:21,760
He's got the little poem.
In 1934, he was granted his own day.
1176
01:04:23,520 --> 01:04:24,920
But in the last 50 years,
1177
01:04:24,960 --> 01:04:28,400
we've started to examine
these things a little more closely.
1178
01:04:28,440 --> 01:04:32,560
And over the last five years, we've
put them right under the microscope.
1179
01:04:32,600 --> 01:04:38,080
40 or so statues of Columbus
have been removed around the world.
1180
01:04:38,120 --> 01:04:39,960
But I think the way to approach this
1181
01:04:40,000 --> 01:04:43,040
is to look at it
through the lens of technology.
1182
01:04:43,080 --> 01:04:46,680
This statue was erected
to the courage of the navigator,
1183
01:04:46,720 --> 01:04:49,680
and, of course, once
the sailing ship had been invented,
1184
01:04:49,720 --> 01:04:51,720
it was going to happen.
1185
01:04:54,680 --> 01:04:57,280
To explore is an imperative.
1186
01:04:57,320 --> 01:04:59,320
It still is,
and we're still doing it.
1187
01:04:59,321 --> 01:05:00,799
We're going to do it into space.
1188
01:05:00,800 --> 01:05:03,000
We will do it
to the bottom of the ocean.
1189
01:05:03,040 --> 01:05:05,960
Maybe the important thing is
that in the modern age,
1190
01:05:06,000 --> 01:05:09,160
we've become a little better
at exploring inwardly.
1191
01:05:10,240 --> 01:05:13,400
So, let's remember
that there are continents,
1192
01:05:13,440 --> 01:05:16,360
there are countries,
and there are peoples,
1193
01:05:16,400 --> 01:05:20,960
but there is only one humanity,
and it's work in progress.
1194
01:05:25,680 --> 01:05:27,480
'Next time...'
1195
01:05:27,520 --> 01:05:28,960
Good morning, m'luds.
1196
01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:30,640
'..Sir Walter Raleigh.'
1197
01:05:30,680 --> 01:05:32,920
Imagine making your way here.
1198
01:05:32,921 --> 01:05:34,079
You may position yourself
1199
01:05:34,080 --> 01:05:36,159
where you can vomit discreetly
into a flower bed.
1200
01:05:36,160 --> 01:05:40,440
This is medieval satnav
version 2.0 - a stick.
1201
01:05:40,480 --> 01:05:43,160
I've got no training,
I've had no practice,
1202
01:05:43,200 --> 01:05:44,800
I'm going to be busking it.
1203
01:05:44,840 --> 01:05:46,600
He touched the Queen?
Yeah, yeah.
1204
01:05:46,640 --> 01:05:47,840
Crikey.
1205
01:05:47,880 --> 01:05:51,240
This is a Tudor license to kill.
1206
01:05:51,280 --> 01:05:53,080
CANNON BOOMS
Oh!
1207
01:05:53,120 --> 01:05:55,640
So much for the great explorer, eh?
1208
01:05:55,690 --> 01:06:00,240
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