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1
00:00:05,739 --> 00:00:07,369
- You're right.
- There y'all are.
2
00:00:08,141 --> 00:00:09,308
Where you been?
3
00:00:09,309 --> 00:00:11,210
- Isabella has been
giving me some tips
4
00:00:11,211 --> 00:00:13,779
on how to become a good mother.
5
00:00:13,780 --> 00:00:15,314
- [chuckling] Oh, really?
6
00:00:15,315 --> 00:00:18,150
- I got an A in childhood
socioemotional functioning
7
00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:20,352
and cognitive development.
8
00:00:20,353 --> 00:00:21,687
Plus, I did a lot
of babysitting.
9
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:23,288
Yeah.
10
00:00:23,289 --> 00:00:25,391
- And since I'm thinking
about becoming a mom,
11
00:00:25,392 --> 00:00:27,259
I wanted to know
what it would be like.
12
00:00:27,260 --> 00:00:31,597
And I thought
who better to ask?
13
00:00:31,598 --> 00:00:33,198
- [laughs]
14
00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:36,335
How about asking someone
who's actually had a baby?
15
00:00:36,336 --> 00:00:39,571
I don't know,
maybe somebody like me?
16
00:00:39,572 --> 00:00:43,175
- Bobbie,
you had Gracie decades ago.
17
00:00:43,176 --> 00:00:46,245
Isabella just took that class.
18
00:00:46,246 --> 00:00:47,780
- I think Bobbie's
feeling left out.
19
00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:48,847
- I don't feel left out.
20
00:00:48,848 --> 00:00:50,516
- Are you sure?
21
00:00:50,517 --> 00:00:52,584
I'll listen if you feel like
you've got something to offer.
22
00:00:52,585 --> 00:00:54,853
- Of course I've got
something to offer!
23
00:00:54,854 --> 00:00:56,055
- Oh.
- Oh, see, Gabby,
24
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,590
that's the insecure attachment
style I was talking about.
25
00:00:58,591 --> 00:00:59,525
- Ah, mm.
26
00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:01,326
- See, if a child
doesn't feel protected,
27
00:01:01,327 --> 00:01:02,494
it can lead to the need
28
00:01:02,495 --> 00:01:04,163
for outside validation
in adulthood.
29
00:01:04,164 --> 00:01:05,464
- Mm-hmm, good example.
30
00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:08,233
Thank you, Bobbie.
You've been very helpful.
31
00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:10,636
- OK,
here's all you need to know.
32
00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:13,405
You tell them you love them in
the morning when they wake up.
33
00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:15,207
You tell them you love them
when they go to bed.
34
00:01:15,208 --> 00:01:18,210
And try not to drop 'em
in between.
35
00:01:18,211 --> 00:01:19,678
- Everybody's got advice.
36
00:01:19,679 --> 00:01:21,613
You know, one book says
you should be strict.
37
00:01:21,614 --> 00:01:23,816
Another book says
you should be easygoing.
38
00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:24,717
Then you watch
a "Roseanne" rerun
39
00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:26,919
and you think you
should scream at them.
40
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,320
- Ignore all of that.
41
00:01:28,321 --> 00:01:30,255
One thing I know for sure,
Gabby,
42
00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:33,859
today, right now,
you'd make a great mom.
43
00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:35,728
- I agree 100%.
44
00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:36,862
- Mm-hmm.
45
00:01:36,863 --> 00:01:38,597
- Thank you.
46
00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:40,866
[upbeat music]
47
00:01:40,867 --> 00:01:42,234
? ?
48
00:01:42,235 --> 00:01:43,736
- Hey, guys.
49
00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:47,639
I bet you're wondering why
I'm walking in backwards.
50
00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:52,911
And no, it's not because the
squats have been paying off.
51
00:01:52,912 --> 00:01:56,616
Ring-a-ding, I'm a mom!
52
00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:01,787
- Oh, my God!
53
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:04,490
She stole a baby!
54
00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:08,794
- Dear diary, today was
an interesting day at work.
55
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:13,399
{\an8}- ? Sometimes it feels
like a big ol' fight ?
56
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:14,867
{\an8}? To get through the day ?
57
00:02:14,868 --> 00:02:17,302
{\an8}? And sleep on
through the night ?
58
00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:19,371
? But here
you'll find a place ?
59
00:02:19,372 --> 00:02:22,641
? That'll surely
lift your spirits ?
60
00:02:22,642 --> 00:02:27,880
? You belong
at Happy's Place ?
61
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,682
- Gabby, what have you done?
62
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:31,784
{\an8}- Well, you remember last week
when you said that I would
63
00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:33,385
{\an8}be a great mother right now?
64
00:02:33,386 --> 00:02:35,854
{\an8}Well, now is now.
[chuckles]
65
00:02:35,855 --> 00:02:38,957
{\an8}This is my starter baby.
66
00:02:38,958 --> 00:02:40,793
{\an8}- Morning, Gabby.
Cute kid.
67
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,961
{\an8}- Aw, you're sweet.
68
00:02:42,962 --> 00:02:44,830
{\an8}But it's not...
69
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:47,666
{\an8}human.
70
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:50,836
{\an8}It's an AI baby
that I ordered online.
71
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:52,338
{\an8}- Dear diary,
72
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,973
{\an8}the child that will
free the robots has arrived.
73
00:02:54,974 --> 00:02:57,309
{\an8}- Aw.
- Oh, hello.
74
00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,778
{\an8}- Wow.
I've heard of these.
75
00:02:59,779 --> 00:03:02,215
{\an8}It's so lifelike.
76
00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:06,518
{\an8}- That kid is creeping...
77
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:09,521
{\an8}right into my heart.
- [chuckles]
78
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:11,623
{\an8}- So dang cute.
- Yeah.
79
00:03:11,624 --> 00:03:15,762
{\an8}- Hey, Emmett.
Come say hi to Gabby's baby.
80
00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:21,667
{\an8}- OK, why is it-
81
00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:24,570
{\an8}he-she-it-them.
82
00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:26,705
{\an8}Why?
83
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:29,675
{\an8}- Well, I wanted my baby
to meet the rest of my family.
84
00:03:29,676 --> 00:03:32,044
{\an8}And now that they have, we can
spend the whole day together.
85
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:34,279
[giggles]
86
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,982
- Dear diary,
Alexa has found a body.
87
00:03:36,983 --> 00:03:41,754
? ?
88
00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:46,625
Why did she go into the office
for privacy while she feeds it?
89
00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:50,896
She's not actually
nursing that thing, is she?
90
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:53,666
- OK, normally, I don't like
to tell you guys how to behave.
91
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,402
- Yes, you do.
92
00:03:55,441 --> 00:03:58,037
- Gabby doesn't want
to show it,
93
00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:00,305
but she's really nervous, OK?
94
00:04:00,306 --> 00:04:02,374
How you respond
to this matters.
95
00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:03,509
- And we all said
that we'd support her
96
00:04:03,510 --> 00:04:06,512
when she said she was
thinking about having a child.
97
00:04:06,513 --> 00:04:10,749
- Right, which we will,
when she has a child.
98
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:13,652
And not an iPad.
99
00:04:13,653 --> 00:04:15,621
- You can't say that joke
in front of Gabby, OK?
100
00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:17,089
- What if she's
not in the room?
101
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,459
- Then we'll be
laughing our asses off.
102
00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:26,299
- Boy, someone was
certainly hungry.
103
00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:32,037
- Dear God.
104
00:04:32,038 --> 00:04:36,408
- Well, I don't know about
y'all, but I'm impressed.
105
00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:37,776
Gabby's only been a mom
for one day,
106
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:41,814
and she's already knocking it
out of the ballpark.
107
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:44,550
- Oh. Oh, gosh.
Oh, you know what?
108
00:04:44,551 --> 00:04:45,818
You guys are the best.
109
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:48,554
I can't think of anyone
I'd rather watch my baby
110
00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:50,089
for the day than you all.
111
00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:53,692
- [chuckles]
What's that now?
112
00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:55,561
- We totally support you,
Gabby.
113
00:04:55,562 --> 00:04:57,896
So what Gabby needs,
Gabby gets.
114
00:04:57,897 --> 00:04:59,398
OK, how can we help?
115
00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:01,967
- Well, I'm practicing
for worst-case scenarios.
116
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:05,537
This is the day that
my babysitter is unavailable.
117
00:05:05,538 --> 00:05:08,808
- Just imagine a new one.
118
00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:12,812
- I did.
Also unavailable.
119
00:05:14,514 --> 00:05:16,749
Both my babysitters,
Stacy I and Stacy Y,
120
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,951
who I'm thinking
are best friends,
121
00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:20,586
went to a concert out of state,
122
00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:22,654
which is partly my fault
because I pay them so well.
123
00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:26,492
[chuckles] I mean,
excuse me for being generous.
124
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:31,563
And the roads are closed
because of, um, lava.
125
00:05:31,564 --> 00:05:34,633
- Chains don't help with that.
126
00:05:34,634 --> 00:05:37,469
- Are we seriously
having this conversation?
127
00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:40,539
- Look, Emmett, I know
that this may seem silly,
128
00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:42,608
but if I'm gonna do this,
I'm gonna be a single mom,
129
00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:45,144
and I need to know
that I can count on you guys.
130
00:05:45,145 --> 00:05:46,612
I can't do this alone.
131
00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:48,180
- You won't be alone.
132
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,815
We are all totally committed
133
00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:51,850
to helping you
take care of the-
134
00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:54,086
little one.
135
00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:55,888
- You're darn tootin' we are.
136
00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:58,624
Now give me that little cutie,
and I'll take the first shift.
137
00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:01,026
- Oh, no, no, no,
I want to pick who goes first.
138
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:04,029
[chuckling] Um...
139
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:07,733
oh, well, Steve, you seem
to be avoiding my gaze.
140
00:06:07,734 --> 00:06:12,671
- No, I'm just concerned
about those babysitters.
141
00:06:12,672 --> 00:06:17,176
With that lava
and those ticket prices.
142
00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:19,712
- Oh, oh, what's that, sweetie?
143
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:23,215
Oh, oh, you want to go
to your Uncle Steve?
144
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,884
Oh, OK.
145
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:27,886
- Isabella is nice.
146
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:29,588
Takoda loves kids.
147
00:06:29,589 --> 00:06:31,624
Bobbie has boobies.
148
00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:42,551
[upbeat music]
149
00:06:42,571 --> 00:06:45,471
- Doesn't that hurt your arms?
150
00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:49,074
- Yes, it's agonizing.
151
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,843
Will you please take your baby?
152
00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:53,579
- No. I need to know
that you can do this.
153
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:54,913
- You're just torturing me.
154
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:57,516
You will never let me
take care of your baby.
155
00:06:57,517 --> 00:06:58,851
- Yes, I would.
156
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:00,953
You keep a schedule,
you're very hygienic,
157
00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:03,255
you're always aware
of your surroundings.
158
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:06,925
You're like a Roomba
with great hair.
159
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:08,894
- Really?
- Yeah.
160
00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:10,095
- I guess I could try.
161
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,997
- Yes.
162
00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:14,767
There ya go.
163
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:17,503
Aw.
164
00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:18,971
- It's not that bad.
- No.
165
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:21,106
- It's kind of nice, actually.
166
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,074
I could get used to-
167
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,743
it's wet.
168
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:27,780
- You know what?
169
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:30,249
You're gonna have to do it.
Yeah, I got to take this.
170
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:32,719
It's a school we've
been trying to get into.
171
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:49,902
- Are you changing that baby
or preparing it?
172
00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:50,736
- It's not really wet.
173
00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:52,204
I just pretended it was
so I could
174
00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:54,973
stop pretending it's real.
175
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:56,575
- I hear ya.
176
00:07:56,576 --> 00:07:58,210
I'm all about supporting Gabby,
177
00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:01,246
but this is really strange.
178
00:08:01,247 --> 00:08:03,649
- Yeah.
179
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:06,685
But it is kind of cute,
don't you think?
180
00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:09,054
- Kind of cute?
What are you talking about?
181
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:11,590
Oh, oh.
182
00:08:11,591 --> 00:08:13,926
No, you don't have to worry.
Gabby can't hear you.
183
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:18,664
She's still talking on the
phone with that fake school.
184
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,933
- Good. Then I can stop
pretending to care.
185
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:24,203
Oh, no, baby.
The baby's hair is messed up.
186
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:26,672
No.
All better, yeah.
187
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:29,275
- What the hell's
wrong with you?
188
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:33,045
- It's just-
189
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:35,914
it's kind of nice, Gabby
wanting me to look after it.
190
00:08:35,915 --> 00:08:37,883
I'll probably never have
one of my own because of,
191
00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:41,820
you know,
everything going on up here.
192
00:08:41,821 --> 00:08:43,589
- That thing got to you,
didn't it?
193
00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:45,691
- [chuckles softly]
It's sweet.
194
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:48,561
Makes cute noises.
It's heated.
195
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:53,332
It's even got
that new baby smell.
196
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:54,901
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
197
00:09:01,007 --> 00:09:03,075
- Hmm.
198
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:04,611
That's nice.
199
00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:07,347
Is that cinnamon?
200
00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:15,354
What are you staring at?
201
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:20,125
- If I knew,
I wouldn't be staring.
202
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:22,695
- Hey, if you don't mind,
203
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:24,764
I'd like to take a shot at it.
204
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:30,269
- OK.
205
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:33,405
Come on.
Support its head.
206
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,974
Bye, baby. Bye.
207
00:09:35,975 --> 00:09:37,811
- Out!
- OK.
208
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:42,715
- I'm gonna name you Cinnamon.
209
00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:45,684
[upbeat music]
210
00:09:45,685 --> 00:09:48,220
? ?
211
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:49,989
Well, that'll do it.
212
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,926
[sighs]
213
00:09:55,362 --> 00:10:00,299
Now we're both
food safety-compliant.
214
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:03,902
I know you're a little young
to be learning this stuff,
215
00:10:03,903 --> 00:10:06,705
but I'm gonna teach you
how to make soup,
216
00:10:06,706 --> 00:10:08,240
and you are gonna love it.
217
00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:10,042
And look what we have here.
218
00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:12,277
We have a carrot
and it's a little-bitty baby,
219
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:14,747
just like you.
220
00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:17,350
- Isn't that cute?
221
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:23,922
Both wearing bandannas
'cause they're bald.
222
00:10:23,923 --> 00:10:26,358
- I only did this 'cause
I thought Gabby was watching.
223
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:29,428
Here, take this thing
off my hands.
224
00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:31,798
- Ha! Fine.
225
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,354
[upbeat music]
226
00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:43,876
[baby crying]
227
00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:46,945
- Bobbie, where's the baby?
228
00:10:46,946 --> 00:10:48,213
Bobbie!
229
00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:50,416
- Oh.
I-I'm sorry.
230
00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:53,018
[chuckles]
Had my earplugs in.
231
00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:55,087
[baby crying]
You need me?
232
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:57,456
- No, but we have
to find the baby.
233
00:10:57,457 --> 00:10:59,491
Whoever has her
is doing a terrible job.
234
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,927
- Well, I disagree.
235
00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:06,031
I think the one who has her
is a total genius.
236
00:11:06,032 --> 00:11:09,134
[baby crying]
237
00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:12,037
- This is not OK.
238
00:11:12,038 --> 00:11:14,106
- Oh, she's fine.
239
00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:18,243
The only problem is the drawer
isn't soundproof.
240
00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:21,113
I was gonna get Takoda
to check on it and fix it.
241
00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:25,884
But what are the chances I'll
ever put another baby in there?
242
00:11:25,885 --> 00:11:27,786
- I mean we're supposed
to be proving that
243
00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:29,488
we know how to handle a baby.
244
00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:33,392
- Newsflash, it's a doll.
245
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:35,027
Oh, remember this
from high school?
246
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,496
Think fast!
- [screams]
247
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:41,900
- [laughs]
- That was so wrong.
248
00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:43,435
- What happened?
I heard a scream.
249
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:44,370
Is the baby OK?
250
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:47,272
- Oh, she's fine.
Just a little low on oil.
251
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:50,943
- [laughs] She's kidding.
252
00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:54,179
I was screaming because
I finally got to hold the baby.
253
00:11:54,180 --> 00:11:56,815
- Aw. I'm just-I'm so relieved
that you guys are taking this
254
00:11:56,816 --> 00:11:59,451
seriously because it is
really important to me
255
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:02,121
that you get a good grade.
256
00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:03,455
- Good grade?
What do you mean?
257
00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:04,857
- Oh, didn't I tell you?
258
00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:09,161
- No.
- [chuckles] Duh. Mommy brain.
259
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:12,197
No, see, the app has a program
that gathers information
260
00:12:12,198 --> 00:12:15,100
from the baby's sensors
on how often it's held
261
00:12:15,101 --> 00:12:17,069
and how long it takes
to change it
262
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,437
or soothe it, you know,
that kind of thing.
263
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:21,840
And then at the end of the
night, you get a grade.
264
00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:24,076
- Oh. [chuckles]
Hear that, Bobbie?
265
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:27,346
We're gonna get graded.
[chuckles]
266
00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:30,916
Lucky you're a genius!
267
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:33,085
- So would I get credit
for playing with a baby
268
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:36,922
if I, like, I don't know,
tossed it in the air?
269
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,824
- At this age?
God, no.
270
00:12:38,825 --> 00:12:41,093
- Oh. [chuckles]
271
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,462
I mean, what if I put it
in the filing cabinet
272
00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:44,863
under B for baby?
273
00:12:44,864 --> 00:12:47,499
- Oh. [chuckles]
274
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,435
[laughter]
275
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:52,071
- Oh, gosh,
I needed that laugh.
276
00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:55,174
It is just so nice
to be around adults. Ugh!
277
00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:56,375
- Oh, yeah.
278
00:12:56,376 --> 00:13:00,379
- Well, I can see that she
is in good hands, so have fun.
279
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:02,214
- Yeah.
280
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:04,850
- I want a new partner
for this project.
281
00:13:04,851 --> 00:13:08,020
[downbeat music]
282
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:10,389
- So we're getting graded.
That's fine.
283
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:12,191
I mean, that baby
couldn't have been in there
284
00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:14,460
more than five, ten,
285
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,862
45 minutes.
286
00:13:16,863 --> 00:13:18,597
- OK, we'll just have to be
287
00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:21,266
really, really good
from now on.
288
00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:25,004
So, and I can't believe
I have to say this,
289
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:28,007
no more chucking the baby
across the room.
290
00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:29,274
OK.
- Good.
291
00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:30,175
That's good.
292
00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:31,643
[baby crying]
- Ah.
293
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,912
- Bad. That's bad.
What'd you do?
294
00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:35,381
- What'd I do?
295
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:37,549
You're stressing me out and
the baby's picking up on it.
296
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:38,650
- Well, calm down.
297
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,185
- Well, that's hard to do
when you're yelling at me!
298
00:13:40,186 --> 00:13:41,286
- I'm not yelling!
299
00:13:41,287 --> 00:13:44,089
I'm not yelling, I'm just-
take its clothes off.
300
00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:46,492
Maybe there's an off switch.
301
00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:47,893
- Ooh, ooh.
302
00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:49,294
One of the ways
to soothe a baby
303
00:13:49,295 --> 00:13:52,264
is to mimic the motion
and sound of the womb.
304
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,366
- Seriously?
305
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:57,636
Go for it, Professor.
306
00:13:57,637 --> 00:14:00,539
- Whoa!
307
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:05,044
Whoa, whoa!
308
00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:11,517
Whoa!
[baby crying]
309
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:13,485
- It's working.
It's working.
310
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:16,989
- Ooh, ooh.
311
00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:19,625
- Was that the womb
or Sea World?
312
00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:24,196
- See, this is why
we take it seriously.
313
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,331
Oh, the baby is caught
on my hair.
314
00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:27,499
- What?
- Oh, oh.
315
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:30,035
She's caught in my hair. Help!
Ow, ow! Get it off of me!
316
00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,337
- I'm trying.
- Get it off of me!
317
00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:34,206
Oh, no, you're pulling my hair!
[baby crying]
318
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,375
- What the heck are
you ladies doing in here?
319
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:40,346
- Baby fight club.
What does it look like?
320
00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:41,513
- May I?
321
00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:43,615
- Gladly.
[baby crying]
322
00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:46,018
- Aw, what's the matter,
little baby?
323
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:49,288
Why you crying?
324
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:51,990
[singing in Lakota]
325
00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:55,627
[baby cooing]
- What the heck?
326
00:14:55,628 --> 00:15:00,699
- [singing in Lakota]
327
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:04,003
- Is there anything
you can't fix?
328
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:08,141
- Well, I do have four kids
and an awesome voice.
329
00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:11,610
- I want to thank you all
so much
330
00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:13,413
for looking after
little Erasmus.
331
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,549
- Who?
332
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:19,418
- The self-aware android
in "Dune"
333
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:22,388
who learned what it meant
to be human and care.
334
00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:25,424
Exquisitely appropriate.
335
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:30,662
- Sometimes the way you
use words just chaps my cheeks.
336
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:36,002
- I have a feeling your cheeks
are chapped all the time.
337
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:42,074
- Anytime you need me, Gabby,
I'm there.
338
00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:44,543
It was nice
holding a little one again.
339
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:46,145
I'm gonna call my wife
340
00:15:46,146 --> 00:15:49,182
and see if she forgot
what labor feels like.
341
00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:52,718
- OK, I can't stand
the suspense.
342
00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:56,188
How did we do
with little Uranius?
343
00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:57,756
- OK, well,
let's see if this village
344
00:15:57,757 --> 00:16:00,393
is qualified to raise a baby.
345
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:04,096
- So what?
Did we do bad?
346
00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:05,698
- You got a 93.
347
00:16:05,699 --> 00:16:08,300
- Oh, a 93?
A minus!
348
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:11,136
Come on!
349
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:13,706
- It's good.
It's really good.
350
00:16:13,707 --> 00:16:16,241
- Yes, I knew it.
Ow!
351
00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:17,443
- I'm happy, too,
but don't touch me.
352
00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:19,144
- OK.
353
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:21,046
- What are you doing?
- I'm giving you the baby.
354
00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:23,449
I should never be a mother.
355
00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:26,453
[downbeat music]
356
00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:34,194
[knock at door]
- It's open.
357
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,630
- Hey, Gabby.
358
00:16:38,631 --> 00:16:41,367
You forgot your tips
from the bar and,
359
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:43,336
oh, yeah, your baby.
360
00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:46,638
- It's not a baby.
361
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:51,543
It's a pending charge on my
credit card I plan to dispute.
362
00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:53,812
- We don't understand
why you're so upset.
363
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:55,314
- Yeah, we passed your test.
364
00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:57,383
- I know, I know.
365
00:16:57,384 --> 00:17:00,819
You guys got a 93
and I only got a 71.
366
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:03,255
- When did you get a grade?
367
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:06,158
Wait, how long have
you had this thing?
368
00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:07,493
- Three days.
369
00:17:07,494 --> 00:17:10,295
And 71 was my best score.
370
00:17:10,296 --> 00:17:11,730
See, I was hoping
that the app would
371
00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:13,298
give you a lousy score, too.
372
00:17:13,299 --> 00:17:14,733
So then I would know
that it was defective.
373
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:15,801
But nope.
374
00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:17,169
It's just me.
375
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:18,871
- No, no, no, no
no, it's not you.
376
00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:20,739
The app is defective.
377
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:23,609
There's no way in the world
we should have gotten a 93.
378
00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:27,279
I left that baby in the drawer
for 30 minutes.
379
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,448
- Yeah, and then she winged it
across the room to me.
380
00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:30,783
And when it got caught
on my hair,
381
00:17:30,784 --> 00:17:32,451
she just grabbed it
and ripped it away.
382
00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:33,318
- God.
383
00:17:33,319 --> 00:17:35,454
- Yeah, yeah,
if that app was good,
384
00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:37,623
they'd have
called the cops on us.
385
00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:39,324
- Oh, great.
386
00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:42,294
Now how am I supposed to know
if I'm gonna be a good mother?
387
00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:44,763
- Hmm, I don't know.
Let me think.
388
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:46,565
I know. Have a baby!
389
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:50,269
- No, I need to know first.
390
00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:54,807
I have to know that I am
not gonna be like my mother.
391
00:17:54,808 --> 00:17:57,343
- Oh, honey,
that's not gonna happen.
392
00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:59,211
Just the fact that
you're worrying about it
393
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:01,547
is a sign that
it probably won't.
394
00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:02,614
- Probably won't.
- Yeah.
395
00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:04,817
- Which means it might.
396
00:18:04,818 --> 00:18:06,618
- Gabby, listen to me.
397
00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:08,854
I also have
a very challenging mother,
398
00:18:08,855 --> 00:18:11,724
so I understand
what you're feeling.
399
00:18:11,725 --> 00:18:14,193
- Oh, really?
400
00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:15,427
Did your mother steal a dog
401
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:16,528
from the people
around the block
402
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:19,365
and give it to you
for your birthday?
403
00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:24,370
Just to have them take it back
the first time you walked it?
404
00:18:24,371 --> 00:18:25,571
And then have all the
people on your street
405
00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:30,543
put a sign on your lawn that
said "caution, dog stealer"?
406
00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:36,915
- No, but she was
emotionally distant sometimes.
407
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:39,284
- God, how do you cope?
408
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:41,520
- Here's the point
I'm trying to make.
409
00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:43,255
OK?
You already learned what not
410
00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:45,625
to do when you become a mom.
411
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:49,862
- But what if I never
learn that other part?
412
00:18:49,863 --> 00:18:52,264
You know,
what you're supposed to do.
413
00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:54,433
- Honey,
you don't learn that part.
414
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:56,335
You feel it.
415
00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:59,405
- Well, Bobbie, I don't trust
myself to feel something
416
00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:02,975
that I have never experienced.
417
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:04,877
- You know what?
Maybe she's right.
418
00:19:04,878 --> 00:19:06,812
Maybe she doesn't need
to have a baby.
419
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:07,946
- What?
- Yeah.
420
00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:09,281
- You're not serious, are you?
421
00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:11,817
- Oh, well,
I mean, it's a big deal.
422
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:15,454
Like I always say, better safe
than sorry, right, Gabby?
423
00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:17,389
- I guess, yep.
424
00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:20,726
- So we don't need this
anymore. [sighs]
425
00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:21,894
What do you want me to do?
426
00:19:21,895 --> 00:19:24,830
Put it in the trash?
Or do you recycle?
427
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:25,831
- What?
428
00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:27,433
- I mean, it's not like
429
00:19:27,434 --> 00:19:29,768
we can take an ad out
and say we want to sell a baby.
430
00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:30,936
- Right, right.
- Yeah.
431
00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:32,271
- Yeah.
432
00:19:32,272 --> 00:19:33,572
Too bad it doesn't
have any organs
433
00:19:33,573 --> 00:19:36,942
that we could sell
on the black market.
434
00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:39,678
- What is wrong with you?
435
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:40,946
- OK.
No, no, no.
436
00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:43,315
I-I see what you're doing and
you know, it's not gonna work.
437
00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:45,017
Do whatever with that doll.
438
00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:47,586
Because you know what?
I don't feel anything.
439
00:19:47,587 --> 00:19:49,588
- OK, well, I'll just
put it out on the curb.
440
00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:50,856
- OK.
441
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:51,857
- Somebody will take it
442
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:54,360
or a dog will think it's
a chew toy or something.
443
00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:56,462
Come on, Isabella.
- Really?
444
00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:59,531
A doggy chew toy,
but I'm the sicko?
445
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:02,502
[baby crying]
446
00:20:04,004 --> 00:20:05,771
- Oh, stop!
Come back.
447
00:20:05,772 --> 00:20:07,406
Give her to me.
448
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:10,342
OK.
Oh, there, there.
449
00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:13,045
Gabby's here. Yeah.
[baby cooing]
450
00:20:13,046 --> 00:20:16,682
I'm not gonna let
that bad lady hurt you.
451
00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:20,352
- You see that?
You felt what to do.
452
00:20:20,353 --> 00:20:22,755
Those were the natural
reactions of a great mom.
453
00:20:22,756 --> 00:20:25,724
- Don't throw the baby out
is a pretty low bar, Bobbie.
454
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,559
- OK, yeah.
455
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,729
- But your instinct
was to protect the baby.
456
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:33,032
OK? Would your mother
have done that?
457
00:20:33,033 --> 00:20:36,068
- I want to believe you.
I really do.
458
00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:38,737
But it is just so scary.
459
00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:41,540
I don't know why people
put themselves through this.
460
00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:43,375
- Mama.
461
00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:45,644
- What?
Say that again.
462
00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:46,912
- Mama.
463
00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:48,781
- [gasps] Did you hear that?
464
00:20:48,782 --> 00:20:50,783
She called me Mama.
465
00:20:50,784 --> 00:20:52,051
Aw.
466
00:20:52,052 --> 00:20:53,385
- Well, I guess
you got your answer.
467
00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:55,921
- Mm.
- That was crazy timing.
468
00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:59,392
{\an8}Do you think
it did that deliberately?
469
00:21:00,794 --> 00:21:03,395
{\an8}It saved itself.
470
00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:05,097
{\an8}- [babbling indistinctly]
471
00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:07,599
{\an8}- All right, Gabby,
we're out of here.
472
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:08,934
{\an8}- I don't think
she's listening.
473
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:10,602
{\an8}- Good.
474
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:12,538
{\an8}- Bobbie?
- Yo.
475
00:21:12,539 --> 00:21:13,238
{\an8}- My tips.
476
00:21:13,239 --> 00:21:16,442
{\an8}- Oh.
Got them right here.
477
00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:18,844
{\an8}- I'm gonna need those.
478
00:21:18,845 --> 00:21:21,046
{\an8}I'm gonna be a single mom.
479
00:21:21,047 --> 00:21:23,649
{\an8}- You might want
to get two jobs.
480
00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:26,618
{\an8}[upbeat music]
481
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,321
{\an8}? ?
482
00:21:28,371 --> 00:21:32,921
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