Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,959
CHURCH BELL TOLLS
2
00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:06,959
Smile
3
00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:10,959
Though your heart is aching
4
00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:12,959
Smile even though...
5
00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:15,959
'Mourning is love
desperate to find you.
6
00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:17,959
'Mourning is love without a home.'
7
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:19,159
There are clouds...
8
00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:22,959
'Mourning is love
showing you our unbreakable bond.'
9
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:24,959
You'll get by...
10
00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:25,959
Mourning is love...
11
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:27,959
BREATH TREMBLES
12
00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:30,959
..clinging to the hope one day
we will see each other again.
13
00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:32,319
SHE SOBS
14
00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:34,799
WEEPING: He died too young, lad.
15
00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:36,319
It's all right. It's all right.
16
00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:39,959
I've decided on an open casket
17
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:42,959
so that we can all celebrate
his life together one last time.
18
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:43,959
Just smile...
19
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:46,639
SCREAMING: Why, Divock?!
20
00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:48,480
You were taken too soon, lad!
21
00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:51,160
Rest easy, little fella.
22
00:00:52,911 --> 00:00:54,959
HE SOBS
23
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:57,960
When I needed a hand,
I found your paw.
24
00:01:10,731 --> 00:01:14,959
If you wanna run away with me
I know a galaxy
25
00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:17,959
And I can take you for a ride
26
00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:19,959
Glitter in the sky
Glitter in my eyes
27
00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:21,959
Shining just the way I like
28
00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:23,799
If you're feeling like...
29
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:26,159
Oh, my God, is she pregnant?
With him?
30
00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:27,959
GASPING
Is it the posh lad's?
31
00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:29,959
I didn't know he had it in him.
32
00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:32,959
KISS
It's his. Dirty bastard.
33
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:33,999
No way.
GASPING
34
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,959
Wey! Ohh!
LAUGHTER
35
00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:37,959
Fuck off!
36
00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:39,959
Well done for not being preggers,
though, you two.
37
00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:41,959
You've been together,
like, four weeks.
38
00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:43,959
That's a record for round here,
that.
39
00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:46,959
Aimee, stop embarrassing yourself.
This is painful to watch.
40
00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:47,959
What are you on about, you gimp?
41
00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:50,959
You getting with this posh muppet
just to get close to me.
42
00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:53,639
Look, I know it's a difficult time
43
00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:55,999
with the anniversary of our kiss
approaching but you've just gotta...
44
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,959
You're obsessed with this kiss,
Reece.
45
00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:00,959
I'm the best kiss you've ever had,
aren't I? Oh, it's OK to admit it.
46
00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:03,959
Nah, cos you're a bad kisser. Mm,
I felt you get hard when we kissed.
47
00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:04,959
I was thinking of Mo Salah.
48
00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:06,959
He's not even signed
a new contract, though!
49
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,959
LAUGHTER
Did he just say that?
50
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:10,959
I've got a kid at 16 now, boys,
51
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:12,959
with a slight air of uncertainty
if it's mine or not.
52
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:15,639
Told you I'm turning
into a fully-fledged Scouser!
53
00:02:15,640 --> 00:02:17,959
Lad, you will never be a Scouser.
54
00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:18,959
You own a pair of wellies.
55
00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:19,959
LAUGHTER
Wellie boy!
56
00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:22,959
My nan got them me for Christmas.
Your what? Your nan?
57
00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:25,959
Lads, tomorrow night, don't forget,
my dad's picking up us at six -
58
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:27,959
footy and then karaoke.
59
00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:29,159
Yeah!
Ah!
60
00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:31,959
You know, 16 years of being absent
could all be forgotten
61
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:33,959
if he nails a rendition of Hey Jude.
62
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:35,959
LAUGHTER
Shut up.
63
00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:36,959
He's trying.
64
00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,799
Sorry, I just find it insensitive,
you talking about your alive dad,
65
00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:41,639
when you know mine's dead.
Ah, selfish.
66
00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:42,959
He's right, mate.
67
00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:44,959
You know, I feel like you've been
very insensitive lately.
68
00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,959
You're not even thinking
about your poor ma,
69
00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:49,479
who's probably going through
a whirlwind of emotions right now.
70
00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:51,159
She is. Cos I am.
What?
71
00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:52,959
I reckon this year is the year
72
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:55,639
I should finally
bury my face in her arse.
73
00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:56,959
THEY GROAN
No, listen!
74
00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,959
If I had the choice of eating
chicken dippers out of her arse,
75
00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:01,999
and while I'm in there, I get
hit by a bus like Divock did...
76
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:05,959
Nah, that...
..I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'd take it.
77
00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:07,999
What a last meal! What a way to go.
78
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,319
Too soon, lad.
79
00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:10,959
What?!
You're a little ming, you know.
80
00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:12,010
What d'you mean?
81
00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:16,959
So, boys,
how's the Buddy-Up scheme going?
82
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:19,959
I'm a changed man, sir.
A stroke of genius from you
83
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,959
to pair me with
this inspirational guiding light.
84
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:24,959
Can I ask, though, sir?
85
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,959
You didn't put us together
cos we're both gay, did you?
86
00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:28,959
Are you?
87
00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:30,959
I just thought you both had views
88
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,959
that were perhaps
more on the, er, liberal side.
89
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:35,959
So, when you paired that
Nigerian lad who looks about 40
90
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:37,959
with the Senegalese lad
who looks about 50,
91
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,479
that was random, was it?
92
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:40,959
Yeah, completely random.
93
00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:43,959
They are thriving.
Can't argue with results!
94
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:46,959
LAUGHTER
95
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,959
What about these two?
96
00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,799
I think you'll find her hair colour
is orchid purple,
97
00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,959
and hers is heliotrope purple.
98
00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:55,959
And they're both hardcore vegans.
99
00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:57,959
Well, it's not for me
to cast aspersions
100
00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,959
on the dietary requirements
of other people.
101
00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:00,959
Why are them two together?
102
00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:02,799
Generational talent...
103
00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:04,959
Actually, they're both short.
104
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:06,799
Hard to tell when you're sitting.
105
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:10,639
Sir, I don't care if you
put us together cos we're both gay.
106
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,959
I've learnt
so much from him already.
107
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:14,319
I'm lucky that,
108
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:18,959
in a world where gay men still
face the threat of persecution,
109
00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:21,959
I have a mentor like Ted Price,
110
00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:25,959
who makes me feel safe, secure
and free to be who I am.
111
00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:28,320
CHUCKLES SOFTLY
That's lovely, that is.
112
00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:31,959
And just to clarify 100%...
113
00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:33,959
I had no idea you were both gay.
114
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:35,959
Mm. Oh.
Close the door on the way out.
115
00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:36,959
DOOR BANGS OPEN
116
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:38,959
I despise your face with a passion.
117
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:40,959
La, don't talk to me
for the next five weeks
118
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:41,999
until this bloody scheme is over.
119
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,959
Are you sure you'll make
five more weeks, Grandad?
120
00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:47,959
I'm a year older than you,
so watch your mouth, Mr One Pube.
121
00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:49,479
Why? What are you gonna do?
122
00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:52,959
Bore me to death with tales of
how life was bad for us in the '50s
123
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,959
cos we got thrown in jail
for bumming?
124
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:56,799
You know,
it's hard to take you seriously,
125
00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:59,210
considering your voice
hasn't even broke yet!
126
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:04,959
You all right, Jodie? Is Reece in?
127
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:06,159
He's just nipped
down the shop for me.
128
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:07,959
Oh, OK.
129
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:09,959
Do you not wanna come inside
and wait for him?
130
00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:12,800
Er, yeah. Yeah, all right.
131
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:19,319
Is that a new cap?
132
00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:21,959
Er, yeah, it is.
133
00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:22,959
Suits ya.
134
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:24,959
Thanks.
135
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:27,959
Do you want some tea? I'm doing me
something. Yeah, go ahead. Sound.
136
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:31,960
I was thinking, er, wedges and...
137
00:05:34,911 --> 00:05:36,959
..chicken dippers?
138
00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:38,959
CHOKED VOICE: Yep. Yep.
139
00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:42,159
How do you like your dippers, Con?
I don't mind.
140
00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:44,959
Do you want them in the oven,
on the grill?
141
00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:45,959
Whatever.
142
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:47,799
Coming out my arse, then?
143
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:48,959
HE CHOKES
144
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,959
SPLUTTERING
GASPING: What? No.
145
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:53,959
Reece tells me everything,
you blurt.
146
00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:54,959
HE COUGHS
147
00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:57,639
It's all right, don't worry
about it. I know what lads are like.
148
00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:58,959
It's just banter anyway, innit?
149
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:01,960
Come to think of it,
I've had a bit of a rough day, so...
150
00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:04,960
..I'd be up for a bit of fun...
151
00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:07,960
..if you are.
152
00:06:12,591 --> 00:06:17,959
What do you mean you can't play?
It's starting in a minute.
153
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,959
'Don't worry. I put a shout out on
Discord to get you a new partner.'
154
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:22,799
Oh, is it someone we know?
155
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:24,959
Is it Hellfire?
He's better than you, to be honest.
156
00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:28,959
'No, some random
called YeNansButtPlug.
157
00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:31,010
'Oh, he's joining the chat now.
OK, bye!'
158
00:06:31,011 --> 00:06:33,959
COMPUTER CHIMES
Is this YeNansButtPlug?
159
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,959
Hello?
160
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:39,959
SINGING: 'I can be your hero, baby.'
161
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:43,959
IN SAME TUNE: What an absolute
bellend, baby.
162
00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:44,959
Grow up.
PLAYER'S GUN COCKS
163
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:46,160
VIDEO GAME: 'Round one.'
164
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:52,959
Oh, lad! What have I told you about
leaving your weps on top of mine?
165
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:54,959
It marks them!
166
00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:56,960
JODIE GIGGLES
FROM UPSTAIRS
167
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,959
HE SNIFFS,
LAUGHTER
168
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,959
CON: Just tie it, please!
169
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:11,010
What the fuck?
170
00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:16,959
Birds Eye?
LAUGHTER
171
00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:18,010
No...
172
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:21,959
It can't be... No.
173
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:24,959
JODIE LAUGHS
174
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:27,250
Are you sure you'll be able
to get it back out?
175
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:32,010
Mum!
176
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:34,960
Con!
177
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:39,959
THEY LAUGH
178
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,639
That's what you get
for grassing him up!
179
00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:44,960
That was a warning.
Next time, I'm in there for real.
180
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:48,639
VIDEO GAME: 'Winner.'
Get in!
181
00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:49,959
SHE LAUGHS
182
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,959
Hey, I'm sorry I had a go at you
about your name.
183
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:53,959
Bit of a sore subject, you see,
184
00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:56,959
cos my nan actually showed me
her butt plug collection once
185
00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:59,799
when I went round... Traumatising.
186
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:02,799
Especially as each one
came with a practical demonstration.
187
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:06,959
'Hang on, do we have the same nan?
Are we related?'
188
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:08,960
SHE GIGGLES
189
00:08:08,961 --> 00:08:14,959
Oh, I thought the interview would be
in person, but Zoom's fine.
190
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,960
I'm really looking forward to it.
See you then.
191
00:08:17,961 --> 00:08:20,319
Oo-er, what you
looking forward to, girl?
192
00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:21,960
You got a fella on the go?
193
00:08:21,961 --> 00:08:23,959
Er, yeah.
Ooh! Ooh!
194
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,960
Yeah, I've got a little date.
Been on the old Tinder and that.
195
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,479
MOCKING: Mustard, boy!
196
00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:31,959
Oh, stop adding "boy"
to the end of everything
197
00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:33,959
because you think
it makes it an insult!
198
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:35,959
You can do it to anything
and it sounds insulting.
199
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:39,479
"Oh, building an orphanage
to save the children, boy!" See?
200
00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:41,100
All right, lad. I was only messing.
201
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:47,799
Geek theory about boy, boy!
202
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:49,959
LAUGHTER
203
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:51,959
Some top-tier scran we've had today.
204
00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:52,959
Scranny McPhee.
205
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:55,959
Scrange Postecoglou.
Scran Boleyn.
206
00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:58,959
LAUGHTER
207
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:00,960
Battenberg, boy!
LAUGHTER
208
00:09:00,961 --> 00:09:03,999
It's all about bread crumbing now,
girl.
209
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,799
Keeping the lads interested
210
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,959
by feeding them little breadcrumbs
now and again.
211
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:09,959
Like a like on Insta,
a random flirty text,
212
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:11,799
a blow job...
213
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:13,159
Last one was a joke.
214
00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:15,959
SING-SONG: Reece Duffy, Duffy.
215
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:18,959
He loves a Batten-bee.
216
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,959
TOGETHER: He gets it down in three.
217
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:23,959
Reece Duffy, Duffy!
218
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:26,639
Putting more in the bin
than you are in your mouth again?
219
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:29,960
Lad, if there's anything
you wanna talk about, you can.
220
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:32,960
Suppose there is one thing.
221
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:36,959
How do I get this knob
with the hero complex off my back
222
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,159
just cos I didn't finish my lunch?
223
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,959
You need to learn all the lingo too,
like "GGG".
224
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:44,959
Good, giving and game.
Which means he's sex positive.
225
00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:46,959
Which means he wants
to respectfully and woke-fully
226
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:48,959
shag you senseless.
Yep.
227
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,959
SHE PUFFS
That is really educational.
228
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:51,959
Thanks for that, girls.
229
00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:53,799
TOGETHER: You're welcome.
230
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:55,959
CROWD: Ohh...
Believe in ya...
231
00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:59,959
CHEERING
232
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:01,639
Help me, oh, mighty gay one (!)
233
00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:03,959
FAKE SOBBING: I lost
my mummy and my daddy.
234
00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:06,959
I'm a tragic little orphan
that needs saving.
235
00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:08,959
First case of a justified orphan.
236
00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:10,959
Ah...
Oh, here we go.
237
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:13,639
What is this dark, scary place?
What?
238
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:14,999
Am I in a...
What are you doing?
239
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,959
..foster home?
FAKE GASPS
240
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,959
Oh, no, please save me, Teddy Price!
241
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:21,799
I'll save you!
242
00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,959
And then I'll wring your neck,
you little maggot!
243
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:25,959
Now, then, trouble.
What are youse talking about?
244
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,479
Oh, nothing. Just having
a little chat with the girls
245
00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:31,639
about the crusty tissues I found
under your bed yesterday.
246
00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:34,959
Mum, you'd best be joking.
Of course I'm joking.
247
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:36,959
But if you don't put them in the bin
like I told you,
248
00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:37,959
I'm gonna tell the whole school.
249
00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:39,959
Where are you going?
250
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:41,959
Oh, I'm, er, just off to have
my meeting with the Tate Liverpool.
251
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:42,959
We're gonna put together
252
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:44,959
an exhibition
of your crusty tissues.
253
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:46,959
Put your face next to it.
254
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:49,959
"Intimate Moments" by Reece Duffy.
THEY LAUGH
255
00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:50,959
Ta-ra.
256
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,799
Hey, Mum.
What?
257
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:54,959
Here you are, here's one I made
earlier. Disgusting.
258
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:56,959
I have a very important
announcement.
259
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:59,959
For anyone out there
who's suffering,
260
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:03,479
for anyone out there who needs hope
in their darkest hour,
261
00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,639
there's a very special man
that will save you.
262
00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:06,959
Is it Jesus?
263
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:07,999
Ted Price.
264
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:12,959
The hero we didn't know we needed,
because we literally don't need him.
265
00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:13,959
LAUGHTER
266
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:16,799
The man that's gonna make all
our lives joyful.
267
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:17,959
Unlucky, Ted, lad.
268
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:20,959
So, please, let's hear it
for the one and only,
269
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:24,159
our saviour Ted Price.
270
00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:26,479
When I say Ted, you say Price.
271
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:28,959
Ted!
ALL: Price!
272
00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:31,960
Price! Price! Price!
ALL: Price! Price! Price!
273
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,960
HEART BEATS,
HEAVY BREATHING
274
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,959
CHANTING: Your defence is terrified,
Alan's on fire.
275
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:46,479
Your defence is terrified,
Alan's on fire.
276
00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:49,959
Your defence is terrified...
What a whopping win, lads.
277
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,959
Oh, we should join
a six-a-side league.
278
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:54,959
We will piss it with Alan
on our side.
279
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:57,959
Drinks are on me, lads.
Let's celebrate this victory, yeah?
280
00:11:57,960 --> 00:12:00,959
ALL CHEER
Your dad is sick.
281
00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:01,959
Oh, aye?
282
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,959
If I had the choice of five minutes
alone with my dead dad or your dad,
283
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:06,959
I'd choose your dad.
LAUGHTER
284
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,959
He has one of the sweetest
left foots I've ever seen.
285
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,959
Goated. Mwah.
286
00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:12,959
You know why I was so good
out there today, lads?
287
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:14,959
Cos I don't feel the weight
of the bib.
288
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:16,960
I play without fear.
289
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:21,959
Cos there goes the fear. Let it go.
290
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:25,319
You turn around,
and life's passed you by.
291
00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,959
Don't waste chances being afraid,
yeah?
292
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:31,960
Cos I'm telling you, boys,
everything you've ever wanted...
293
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,960
..is on the other side of fear.
294
00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:40,639
I'm scared of karaoke,
but you know what? I'm gonna do it.
295
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:42,319
CHEERING
296
00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,960
Go 'ead, lad.
Come on.
297
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:53,959
No, there's been a mistake.
This isn't the song I picked.
298
00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:55,959
You got this.
Come on.
299
00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:56,959
Come on, lad.
300
00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:58,479
So don't ask me...
301
00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,959
MICROPHONE SCREECHES
Oh, God.
302
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:02,959
Go on.
What you know is true...
303
00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:04,799
Give me that mic, lad.
304
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,960
Don't have to tell you...
CHEERING
305
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:11,000
I love your precious heart
306
00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:13,960
I
I
307
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:17,960
I was standing there
308
00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:20,959
You were there...
Go on, lad.
309
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:22,159
He has a beautiful voice.
310
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:24,960
Two worlds collided
311
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:29,960
And they could never
Tear us apart...
312
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:33,960
CHEERING
Guitar.
313
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:40,010
Take it away, son.
314
00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:42,959
We could live...
315
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:45,479
CHEERING
G'wed, lad.
316
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,959
For a thousand years
317
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,960
If I hurt you
318
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:56,959
I'd make wine from your tears
319
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:58,960
I told you
320
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:01,959
That we could fly...
321
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:04,959
Hello. How's my favourite
underpaid glass collector?
322
00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:06,959
Viv, if you're gonna ask
if I can work tonight, I can't.
323
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:07,959
I'm back in school.
324
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,959
I'm not asking you to work.
But I do have a special request.
325
00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:13,959
You said that'd be a one-time thing
and I'd never have to do it again.
326
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:15,959
I wouldn't be asking you
to do that again.
327
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:17,959
I've had better head
from a blow-up doll.
328
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:18,959
Our usual compere's got another gig,
329
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:21,959
so we need someone for the drag
night Thursday. What do you reckon?
330
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,959
You want me to do it?
No, knobhead, do you know anyone?
331
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,959
I'm messing.
Of course I'm asking you.
332
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:29,959
Listen,
I think you've got something.
333
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:31,959
When you speak, people listen.
You grab their attention,
334
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:33,959
so it's time to stop
living in the shadows
335
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,959
and step into the lights
of my stage.
336
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,959
Now, don't you dare
be funnier than me.
337
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,799
Viv, are you sure?
Of course I'm sure.
338
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,959
Oh, come on, lad,
what's the worst that can happen?
339
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:44,959
You bomb so hard,
you become a shell of a man
340
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:46,959
so traumatised
you never leave the house.
341
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:50,270
Cos I tell you what, if you do bomb,
I'm never speaking to you again.
342
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:53,959
Could never
343
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:56,959
Ever tear us apart...
344
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,960
CHEERING
Go on, then.
345
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,479
My favourite bit now, son.
346
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:05,960
What is it?
Saxophone.
347
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:08,959
CHEERING
348
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,959
Lad, this is all because of you,
you know.
349
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,959
Nice one. I'm gonna make up
for some lost time.
350
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,959
Shame, he's just told me he's doing
one of his own songs next
351
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:17,959
called "I Hate My Son."
352
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,959
As if, lad.
THEY CHUCKLE
353
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,959
Everybody, come on!
354
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:23,010
I
355
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:26,959
I was standing...
356
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,799
Come on, everybody.
357
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:29,960
You were there
358
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:34,000
Two worlds colliding
359
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:39,999
And they will never
Tear us apart...
360
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,960
It's you and me now, kid.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
361
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:52,960
This fucking skirt's killing me.
362
00:15:56,911 --> 00:15:58,959
LAPTOP CHIMES
Shit.
363
00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:01,960
'Hello. Hello?
364
00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:04,799
'Hi, Jodie.'
Hi.
365
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:05,959
'It's Robert here
366
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:07,959
'from Central Liverpool
Housing Association.
367
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:09,999
'I believe you came to us
via the Job Centre?'
368
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:13,959
Yeah, I was looking for some
part-time ways
369
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:15,959
to be starting my career.
370
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:18,959
I've got a law degree,
I got it in 2007.
371
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:20,959
Er, I got pregnant afterwards,
372
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:23,479
so I haven't really had
a chance to do anything with it.
373
00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:26,960
'We were all young and foolish once,
my love.'
374
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,959
Just give us the ciggies, will you?
I gave you 20 quid.
375
00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:33,959
Lad, forget the ciggies.
376
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,799
You should be putting food in
your mouth, you scrawny little rat.
377
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,959
THEY LAUGH
378
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:40,959
This morning, honestly, I had
a shit that was bigger than you.
379
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:42,959
Hey, you know in Africa and that
380
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,959
they have adverts on the telly
asking them to send food to you.
381
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,480
THEY LAUGH
382
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:52,960
Pass the ciggies, before youse both
get booted to Africa.
383
00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:56,959
Rat. Lad, come on.
384
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:59,959
Are you groom bumming this
little lad, then, Ted, lad, yeah?
385
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:02,959
Kieron, you can't even spell
the word "groom". Be gone.
386
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:04,959
Come on.
387
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,159
I told you to leave it to me, lad.
How do you spell groom?
388
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,159
What are you doing?
389
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:11,959
I didn't say I was getting them
for you, did I?
390
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:13,960
HE CHUCKLES
391
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:19,959
I know that I'm your homie
I ain't just gonna let that go.
392
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:23,319
'I agree,
with your underprivileged background
393
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:25,959
'and your experience
of the many issues
394
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:26,999
'our clients suffer from,
395
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:30,319
'I really think our clients
are gonna connect with you.'
396
00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:33,639
Yeah, I mean, I've had them all.
397
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:37,159
Substance abuse issues,
homelessness, unemployment,
398
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:38,959
domestic violence,
399
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:41,959
and the big crowd pleaser,
mental health crises.
400
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,959
'You know,
I feel for women in your situation.
401
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:48,799
'It isn't easy balancing career
with issues.
402
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:52,159
'Then you stupidly get pregnant,
which only compounds your problems,
403
00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:54,959
'and you end up deeply regretting
having the child,
404
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,959
'as you've basically screwed up
your whole career.'
405
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:00,959
Will you wind your neck in,
you patronising gobshite?
406
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,959
I don't regret anything
about my life.
407
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,159
In fact, I really like it,
and having that boy
408
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:07,959
was the best thing
that could have ever happened to me.
409
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:08,959
Oh, and while I'm at it,
410
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:10,959
I live amongst these people
with their so-called issues
411
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:12,999
and let me tell you something
for nothing,
412
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,959
with all their problems,
not a one of them
413
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:18,159
is as big of a delusional dickhead
as you are.
414
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:20,959
Hey, Mum. What are you doing?
415
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:23,959
Oh, look, son.
We've got big money problems.
416
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:26,959
Someone's got to do some cam work
and it's not gonna be you, is it?
417
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:27,959
As if. I'd make more than you.
418
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:30,959
As if.
Midget porn. It's a big market.
419
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:31,959
ROBERT CLEARS THROAT
420
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:33,640
Fuck off.
421
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:38,799
SHE LAUGHS
Who uses WhatsApp anyway, Grandad?
422
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:39,959
'I'm only using WhatsApp
cos Bebo's down.'
423
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:41,959
SHE CHUCKLES
424
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:43,999
Oh, my God,
you picked you on your moped.
425
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,959
Is that cos you hope girls
will look at it and think,
426
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,959
"Oh, my God.
Will you take me for a ride?"
427
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:51,959
SHE LAUGHS
'Have you finished?'
428
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:54,959
So, three wins together.
Have I passed the trial?
429
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:57,639
Trial to be
the most annoying bellend
430
00:18:57,640 --> 00:18:59,640
who happens to be great at Payday?
431
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:04,159
Yeah, with flying colours.
Get in.
432
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,960
Do yourself a favour
433
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:11,960
Do, do, do, do, do...
434
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:17,480
HE SIGHS
Little shit.
435
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:28,010
HE GULPS
436
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:46,960
FOOTSTEPS
437
00:19:57,960 --> 00:19:59,010
How are we, kid?
438
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:01,319
You do realise
439
00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:03,799
we don't have to hang around toilets
for sex any more?
440
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,959
We're accepted now.
Not having lunch today?
441
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:07,959
I'm allergic to fish.
I had a Maccies before.
442
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:09,959
What did you have?
The Big Tasty Burger.
443
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,959
That's seasonal, mate.
They don't have it now.
444
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,959
It's back, lad.
Albie, I know what you're doing.
445
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:17,959
Making up allergies,
saying you feel sick,
446
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:19,159
smoking so you don't feel hungry.
447
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,959
Smoking was cool in the '50s.
I don't blame you.
448
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,959
Lad, I've been where you are.
449
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:27,959
In this cubicle? Is this where
you hid from the Nazis in 1943?
450
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,959
Lad, they wouldn't execute you
for being gay.
451
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,070
They'd execute you
for being so annoying.
452
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:37,830
I know about that prison
in your head.
453
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,010
I know how that prison's
full of anxiety.
454
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,730
Anxiety when you catch a look
at yourself in the mirror.
455
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:48,959
Anxiety when you allow yourself
that one bite.
456
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:52,959
The constant thoughts and obsessions
about food, calories, weight, BMI.
457
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,959
"You should exercise more.
458
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:56,959
"Knew you shouldn't
have had that bite."
459
00:20:56,960 --> 00:21:00,159
The thoughts are so exhausting,
that you think you just want peace
460
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:03,410
and you think that not waking up
in the morning wouldn't be so bad.
461
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:08,959
I'm coming out
462
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:10,959
I want the world to know.
Fuck's sake.
463
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:13,959
Did you listen to anything
I've just said?
464
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:15,999
Why did you stop boxing?
How do you know about that?
465
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,959
My cousin
goes to the same club as you.
466
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:19,479
He says you're good,
467
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:22,159
but a few months ago,
you stopped going. Why?
468
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:23,959
I didn't fancy it any more.
469
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,959
Sure, mate, yeah.
Here's what I think.
470
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:29,959
You go around acting
like you're the perfect gay
471
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:30,999
who's got it all figured out.
472
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:34,959
Yet you don't think you're worthy
enough to box with straight lads?
473
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,959
Seems like the almighty gay one's
a big hypocrite.
474
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:41,959
Shut up, you little prick.
I'm here trying to help you.
475
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:44,799
If I ever wanna learn
about how to be a weak coward
476
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:46,959
who's one big fraud,
I'll come to you.
477
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,960
But until then,
fuck off, and leave me alone.
478
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:52,959
Fuck!
479
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:54,480
PHONE BUZZES
480
00:21:57,960 --> 00:21:59,959
'Hi, Jodie.'
Robbie.
481
00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:03,639
'Robert here from Central Liverpool
Housing Association.
482
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:06,959
'We'd like to offer you the job.'
You're messing!
483
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:09,319
I called you a delusional dickhead.
484
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:12,959
'Upon reflection,
I realised you had an empathy
485
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:15,639
'and open-minded attitude
towards our clients,
486
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:18,959
'which I think will be a huge asset
to our office.'
487
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:21,959
Thank you. I'll take it.
488
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:22,959
'Great.'
489
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:24,959
Although can we not
mention it to the Job Centre?
490
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:26,959
I still wanna keep my benefits,
like.
491
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:28,319
'I'm afraid that's illegal,
and I...'
492
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:29,959
HE STUTTERS
493
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,959
'You're joking, aren't you?'
THEY CHUCKLE
494
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,959
'Very good. Congratulations.
495
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:37,959
'Looking forward
to working with you.'
496
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:39,010
Nice one, Robbie.
497
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:42,960
You fucking dancer!
498
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:46,479
Who were you on the phone to?
499
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:49,960
Oh, it's, er,
little-people-porn-cams-dot-com.
500
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:52,959
Yeah.
501
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:55,960
Five foot one maximum? No problem.
502
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:58,960
Bigger than two inches?
503
00:22:59,471 --> 00:23:01,959
Definitely not.
HE SCOFFS
504
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:04,959
Welcome to Boss Little Queers
These Ya Know.
505
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,959
Don't worry, lads,
if I can transform this face,
506
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:09,959
there's hope for youse, too.
507
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,639
We've got a new compere for you
this evening.
508
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:14,959
It's his first night,
so please be nice.
509
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:15,959
Oh, shit.
510
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:17,959
And, yes, I'm looking at you lot.
THEY LAUGH
511
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:19,960
No bouncing bottles off his head.
512
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:22,959
Oh, what's he doing? The old prick.
513
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:24,959
Give it up
for the gorgeous Ted Price.
514
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:27,640
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
515
00:23:27,911 --> 00:23:29,959
Good evening.
516
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:33,959
Who's ready for a night
of eleganza extravaganza?
517
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:35,100
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
518
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:37,959
ALBIE BREATHES HEAVILY
519
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:38,959
I love drag queens, me.
520
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:40,959
Why do drag queens
always have money?
521
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:43,320
Why?
Cos she knows how to tuck it away.
522
00:23:43,911 --> 00:23:45,959
Ooh.
523
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:47,959
This pubeless one
is dying on his arse.
524
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:50,959
Shut up, Derek. If I wanted to hear
an arsehole speak, I'd fart, mate.
525
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:52,960
LAUGHTER
526
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:56,999
Just fucking pick up.
527
00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:00,959
My curly-haired homophobic friend
in the audience tonight.
528
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:02,959
Stand up, Con.
Come on, give him a little clap.
529
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:03,959
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
530
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:07,959
This boy asks me hundreds
of thousands of questions a day.
531
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:09,959
Each one more homophobic
than the last.
532
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:11,799
It was literally someone,
533
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:13,959
"Ay, lad, if you're gay,
how come you never come on to me?"
534
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:15,959
Normally, I've just gone with,
535
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:19,159
"Oh, gay lads have a type,"
or "We don't fancy every man alive."
536
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:21,959
But in his case, it's because
he is one right ugly fucker.
537
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,320
LAUGHTER
538
00:24:23,321 --> 00:24:27,959
And Reece is in the audience.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
539
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:30,319
This boy has just been reunited
with his dad
540
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:31,959
face-to-face after 16 years.
541
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:33,959
CROWD: Aww.
They're not estranged.
542
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:35,959
They just finally found a ladder
that was big enough.
543
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:38,959
LAUGHTER
544
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:40,959
HEAVY BREATHING
545
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:43,959
MUFFLED: Thank you so much,
everyone. Thanks for having me.
546
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:45,959
You've been great.
You've been a gorgeous audience.
547
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:48,319
I've been Ted, and you've
been lovely. Thanks, lads.
548
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,310
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Love you so much.
549
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:55,960
Everyone here, I just want to say
thank you so much for being so kind.
550
00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:01,959
I'm in the corner
Watching you kiss her
551
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:03,999
Whoa, oh, oh
552
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:06,959
Ooh, ooh
553
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:09,999
I'll keep dancing on my own.
554
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:11,960
CHEERING
Come on, Ted.
555
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:15,959
TINNY MUSIC
556
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:21,799
Into your soul
Into your soul...
557
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:24,960
MUSIC: 'Smalltown Boy'
by Bronski Beat
558
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:28,000
EXHALES
559
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:31,960
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
560
00:25:31,961 --> 00:25:35,959
Come on, you're gonna be seeing
a lot more of this lad.
561
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:38,319
Give it up
for the gorgeous Ted Price.
562
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:39,959
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
563
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:42,639
Don't take me home
564
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:44,959
Please don't take me home
565
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,959
Just don't wanna go to school
566
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:50,959
Wanna stay up all night
Watching Ted Price
567
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,959
Please don't
Please don't take me home...
568
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:55,959
Hello.
569
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:59,479
Don't take me home...
570
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:00,960
No.
571
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:05,639
Just don't wanna go to school
572
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,320
Wanna stay up all night
Watching Ted Price...
573
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:24,010
Albie.
574
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:28,220
I'm so sorry I let you down.
575
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:31,959
ALBIE INHALES,
TED GASPS
576
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:34,999
Is this Heaven?
Lad, you're in hospital.
577
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:38,799
Oh, mighty gay one Ted Price
at gay Heaven's doors.
578
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:41,959
TED CHUCKLES
Please let me in.
579
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:43,960
What's the doctor said?
I'll be OK.
580
00:26:43,961 --> 00:26:47,959
So that stuff I bought
on the dark web wasn't any good.
581
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:49,959
I wonder what the refunds policy is?
582
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:51,959
TED CHUCKLES
583
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:53,959
I've got a confession.
584
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,959
This is gonna sound really crazy
and out the blue,
585
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:59,959
but I think I've got anorexia.
586
00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:02,959
I am blown away, lad. Really?
587
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:04,010
TED CHUCKLES
588
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:08,959
I was 11 when it clicked I was gay,
589
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:12,959
and my first thought was,
"Oh, shit,"
590
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,959
cos that's how society's
made us feel.
591
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:17,959
Then you put this negativity
on yourself,
592
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:19,960
and it messes up your self-esteem.
593
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:22,959
Anorexia makes you believe
594
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:26,640
that if you keep doing
what it wants, you'll be OK.
595
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:29,959
But it's a liar.
596
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,959
Very good liar, to be fair.
597
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:34,960
Facing your inner demons is scary,
but...
598
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:40,959
..everything you want,
it's on the other side of that fear.
599
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:42,010
I got better.
600
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:45,960
You will too.
Another confession.
601
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:49,970
I really appreciate you
looking out for me.
602
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:52,960
It's been my pleasure.
603
00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:59,959
Oof. Big hairy daddy hand, this.
Excuse me?
604
00:27:59,960 --> 00:28:01,959
These daddy hands
are here to look after you.
605
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:03,959
Come on, let me fix your pillow.
606
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:05,959
CHOKING
What are you doing?
607
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:07,959
ALBIE GASPS
Nurse, help.
608
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:09,959
This old fella's
saying he's my daddy.
609
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:11,959
Making me do things
I don't wanna do.
610
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:13,959
He's very, very sick.
Get out.
611
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:16,010
MUSIC: 'Smalltown Boy'
by Bronski Beat
612
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:22,000
Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com
613
00:28:22,050 --> 00:28:26,600
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
46139
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof