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1
00:00:01,971 --> 00:00:04,241
[instrumental music]
2
00:00:06,981 --> 00:00:10,387
Hey, Papa D. Come on in.
3
00:00:10,420 --> 00:00:13,627
-Sit down. How you doing?
-What's going on?
4
00:00:13,661 --> 00:00:16,433
I just wanted to have
a little, uh, chat.
5
00:00:16,434 --> 00:00:17,735
-Is someone dead?
-No, no, no.
6
00:00:17,736 --> 00:00:19,037
-Is my dad dead?
-No, no, no, no.
7
00:00:19,038 --> 00:00:20,507
I mean, listen, one of
my favorite things
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00:00:20,508 --> 00:00:22,009
on this base, if not
my favorite thing,
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00:00:22,010 --> 00:00:23,079
is that tank we stole.
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00:00:23,279 --> 00:00:28,356
[chuckles] And that heist proved
to me that you have potential.
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00:00:28,389 --> 00:00:29,894
-Potential? Okay.
-Yes.
12
00:00:29,895 --> 00:00:31,161
Now we're talking.
I'm listening, man.
13
00:00:31,162 --> 00:00:33,299
Go pull Dead Poets Society
on me.
14
00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:34,703
"Oh, colonel, my colonel."
15
00:00:34,704 --> 00:00:36,740
I don't know what that means,
but listen to me.
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00:00:36,741 --> 00:00:38,977
You're a corporal, right?
So you're on a leadership track.
17
00:00:38,978 --> 00:00:42,018
And, and you can't remember
when to salute.
18
00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:44,757
That's the kind of thing,
it's a basic...
19
00:00:44,790 --> 00:00:46,561
No, no, it's not now.
20
00:00:46,627 --> 00:00:49,599
-No, and this is all wrong.
-Open hand?
21
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Just put it down.
I don't even need you to
22
00:00:51,904 --> 00:00:55,645
meet me halfway anymore,
'cause I know you'd get winded.
23
00:00:55,711 --> 00:00:57,114
I just need you to take
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00:00:57,115 --> 00:00:59,184
a couple of baby steps
towards me, all right?
25
00:00:59,185 --> 00:01:01,690
-Pfft. Yeah, or else what?
-Or else...
26
00:01:01,691 --> 00:01:03,760
We both know you're not gonna
kick me out of the army.
27
00:01:03,761 --> 00:01:06,599
Dude, tech geniuses don't come
to Stroopsdorf very often.
28
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,903
I mean, the guy I replaced
was still paying for AOL.
29
00:01:08,904 --> 00:01:10,942
I will drum you out
if I have to.
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-For what?
-Your hair, mustache, posture,
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00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:18,122
attitude, laziness,
lack of fitness, gait.
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00:01:18,123 --> 00:01:19,792
-Okay. Yeah.
-Do you know what I'm saying?
33
00:01:19,793 --> 00:01:21,462
Pfft. It's tough love.
34
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But maybe it's time to grow up.
35
00:01:23,901 --> 00:01:25,170
Hey, we're about to serve
36
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birthday cake in
the Team Center.
37
00:01:26,774 --> 00:01:28,209
I'm only trying to get you...
38
00:01:28,242 --> 00:01:29,713
What? W-where are you going?
39
00:01:29,746 --> 00:01:33,420
You are not dismissed. I will
kick you out for good.
40
00:01:33,486 --> 00:01:34,623
Oh, my God.
41
00:01:34,690 --> 00:01:37,060
I'm never gonna make it
through this place.
42
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[theme music]
43
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-Hey.
-Hi.
44
00:02:00,709 --> 00:02:01,810
-Got a minute?
-Yeah.
45
00:02:01,844 --> 00:02:04,583
Would you care to join me
on a little trip
46
00:02:04,617 --> 00:02:07,121
to a local antique store
that apparently has
47
00:02:07,221 --> 00:02:09,927
a sizable collection of
World War II memorabilia,
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00:02:09,994 --> 00:02:12,966
including a Colt
single-action revolver
49
00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:15,672
used by General Patton
during the war?
50
00:02:15,739 --> 00:02:17,008
-Wow.
-I know.
51
00:02:17,074 --> 00:02:19,679
This is like, you know,
something that we
52
00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:21,749
really bonded over
when you were a kid and...
53
00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:26,794
Yeah. A love for World War II
is not something that we shared.
54
00:02:26,795 --> 00:02:28,597
Yeah, you droning on
about it is something
55
00:02:28,598 --> 00:02:30,332
-I've always had to endure.
-What?
56
00:02:30,333 --> 00:02:31,802
Do you remember
my ninth birthday?
57
00:02:31,803 --> 00:02:33,874
I had a slumber party,
and you made us all watch
58
00:02:33,875 --> 00:02:35,978
Saving Private Ryan, and
then all the girls had to
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00:02:35,979 --> 00:02:37,146
call their parents
to get picked up
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00:02:37,147 --> 00:02:38,617
after Vin Diesel's head
was blasted off?
61
00:02:38,618 --> 00:02:39,886
Honey, you're never too young
62
00:02:39,887 --> 00:02:42,124
to learn not to walk
into a sniper's ambush.
63
00:02:42,190 --> 00:02:44,596
Why are you so obsessed
with World War II?
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00:02:44,597 --> 00:02:47,066
The greatest war fought by
the greatest generation
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00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:52,011
against the greatest enemy that
we have ever crushed like a bug.
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00:02:52,012 --> 00:02:53,613
You know, when I was
little, I thought
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00:02:53,614 --> 00:02:58,423
that you loved this war more
than you loved me.
68
00:02:58,489 --> 00:03:00,126
Oh, my God. I was right.
69
00:03:00,127 --> 00:03:01,663
-Are you serious?
-No! Of course not.
70
00:03:01,664 --> 00:03:02,898
-Of course not?
-I have to say something
71
00:03:02,899 --> 00:03:04,467
like that out loud? That's the
problem with your generation...
72
00:03:04,468 --> 00:03:05,504
Yes, you literally
do have to say
73
00:03:05,505 --> 00:03:06,739
something like that out loud.
74
00:03:06,740 --> 00:03:08,342
-My generation?
-...is everything has to
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00:03:08,343 --> 00:03:10,012
-be said out loud.
-Your generation
76
00:03:10,013 --> 00:03:11,214
is obsessed with World War II.
77
00:03:11,215 --> 00:03:14,045
Oh, my God. You know what?
Let me explain something to you.
78
00:03:14,054 --> 00:03:16,727
When I was a kid, there were
Nazis everywhere, okay?
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00:03:16,728 --> 00:03:18,329
Hiding out in basements
in Cleveland.
80
00:03:18,330 --> 00:03:20,634
They were selling used cars
in Wisconsin.
81
00:03:20,635 --> 00:03:22,103
And I'll tell you something
else. When I was a kid,
82
00:03:22,104 --> 00:03:23,707
I'd go to the Oktoberfest
every year
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00:03:23,708 --> 00:03:25,109
just to see if I could see
one of these
84
00:03:25,110 --> 00:03:27,100
drunk German
bastards slip a Sieg Heil.
85
00:03:27,101 --> 00:03:28,783
Now, they never did,
but, you know,
86
00:03:28,784 --> 00:03:30,474
and they did report
to my parents
87
00:03:30,522 --> 00:03:32,390
that I was kind of
stalking them.
88
00:03:32,391 --> 00:03:34,762
But I learned to be vigilant
because our enemies
89
00:03:34,763 --> 00:03:37,835
are always around us, especially
here. Are you kidding me?
90
00:03:37,935 --> 00:03:40,440
-Here, of all places. Yes.
-In the Netherlands?
91
00:03:40,508 --> 00:03:42,612
The biggest threat
to the United States
92
00:03:42,679 --> 00:03:44,683
is how much better
their Kit Kat is.
93
00:03:44,716 --> 00:03:47,221
That's the kind of dovish
thinking that leads
94
00:03:47,222 --> 00:03:49,057
to our base being wide open
to our enemies
95
00:03:49,058 --> 00:03:50,527
-and a surprise attack.
-[Maggie] Did you know that
96
00:03:50,528 --> 00:03:52,264
we run war games quarterly?
97
00:03:52,265 --> 00:03:54,033
-You run war games? Okay.
-[Maggie] Mm-hmm.
98
00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:58,076
What are you, warm up some
towels and melt some Kit Kats?
99
00:03:58,143 --> 00:04:00,615
War games.
Oh, this is interesting.
100
00:04:00,681 --> 00:04:03,921
I think I'd like to run one
tomorrow at 0900.
101
00:04:03,955 --> 00:04:05,457
-We'll be ready.
-Okay.
102
00:04:05,458 --> 00:04:06,559
And what about the little jaunt
103
00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:08,230
to the, uh, antique store?
104
00:04:08,330 --> 00:04:10,467
Oh, sure.
Yeah, as long as I can, uh,
105
00:04:10,501 --> 00:04:14,809
take General Patton's gun
and shoot myself in the head.
106
00:04:14,876 --> 00:04:17,214
[instrumental music]
107
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[indistinct chatter]
108
00:04:22,959 --> 00:04:24,596
All right, listen up.
109
00:04:24,663 --> 00:04:30,541
Everybody listen up.
We are at war.
110
00:04:30,575 --> 00:04:33,514
Russian forces have invaded
Eastern Europe.
111
00:04:33,614 --> 00:04:35,518
Tyranny is at our doorstep.
112
00:04:35,618 --> 00:04:40,828
And I say we open the door and
punch tyranny right in the neck.
113
00:04:40,895 --> 00:04:42,899
[cheering]
114
00:04:42,900 --> 00:04:45,169
I know this is just a war game,
but he is giving that
115
00:04:45,170 --> 00:04:46,872
Danny Day-Lewis level
of commitment.
116
00:04:46,873 --> 00:04:51,650
Now, our mission today is to
meet at the rendezvous point
117
00:04:51,684 --> 00:04:54,656
and supply three full brigades
118
00:04:54,723 --> 00:04:58,263
[sighs] with laundry and cheese.
119
00:04:58,330 --> 00:04:59,380
[soldiers] Yeah!
120
00:04:59,398 --> 00:05:00,935
Woo-hoo!
121
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:03,841
[sighs] Do you understand
the mission?
122
00:05:03,908 --> 00:05:05,377
[soldiers] Sir, yes, sir!
123
00:05:05,444 --> 00:05:08,283
Now let's go do it! Dismissed.
124
00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:10,486
[indistinct chatter]
125
00:05:10,487 --> 00:05:14,729
You're gonna like what you see
today. My troops are special.
126
00:05:14,730 --> 00:05:16,633
-Oh, yeah, they're special.
-You can't say that.
127
00:05:16,634 --> 00:05:17,801
What, I just said what you said.
128
00:05:17,802 --> 00:05:19,552
-No, you had a tone.
-I said special.
129
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:20,941
-You said special.
-You said special
130
00:05:20,942 --> 00:05:24,115
-in a special tone.
-Forget it. You have one hour.
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00:05:24,181 --> 00:05:25,231
No problem.
132
00:05:25,250 --> 00:05:27,521
[instrumental music]
133
00:05:28,457 --> 00:05:30,527
[indistinct chatter]
134
00:05:30,528 --> 00:05:32,363
The first round of MREs are
headed to the truck,
135
00:05:32,364 --> 00:05:33,833
and we have plenty of cheese
for the rest.
136
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,771
Are you sure about that,
sergeant?
137
00:05:35,772 --> 00:05:37,775
An enemy just fired
a short-range ballistic missile.
138
00:05:37,776 --> 00:05:41,349
All of this cheese is destroyed.
139
00:05:41,350 --> 00:05:43,285
No, seriously,
all of it's destroyed.
140
00:05:43,286 --> 00:05:44,890
-Go away.
-What are you doing?
141
00:05:44,891 --> 00:05:47,828
Your war game scenario read
like a Black Friday rehearsal
142
00:05:47,829 --> 00:05:50,334
at Walmart. Major Shah
is here to represent
143
00:05:50,367 --> 00:05:52,404
the unpredictability
of the enemy.
144
00:05:52,471 --> 00:05:55,879
I'm your worst nightmare.
I am the agent of chaos.
145
00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:56,779
Why are you dressed
146
00:05:56,780 --> 00:05:58,818
-like a stagehand?
-Mm-hmm.
147
00:05:58,819 --> 00:06:00,587
Okay, well, the enemy
could be anyone.
148
00:06:00,588 --> 00:06:02,724
I thought the black would sell
that. I just made a choice.
149
00:06:02,725 --> 00:06:04,293
I don't think
he looks like a stagehand.
150
00:06:04,294 --> 00:06:05,864
-I think he looks cool.
-Thank you.
151
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:08,671
Clock is ticking, captain.
Clock is ticking.
152
00:06:08,704 --> 00:06:10,307
Sergeant, deploy the Comt�.
153
00:06:10,407 --> 00:06:12,511
-Uh, the...
-That's just fancy cheese.
154
00:06:12,578 --> 00:06:15,417
Just hold her. This is why we
keep a secret stash.
155
00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:17,419
Uh, I'm-I'm gonna do it,
but you don't have to use
156
00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:21,462
outlandish words together
like just and fancy.
157
00:06:21,496 --> 00:06:23,056
[BA] Captain, we have a problem.
158
00:06:23,901 --> 00:06:26,339
-Uh... Uh...
-Hey.
159
00:06:26,340 --> 00:06:28,075
Captain, we're down to like
half the machines.
160
00:06:28,076 --> 00:06:29,410
They keep tripping the breakers.
161
00:06:29,411 --> 00:06:31,181
The Russians have colluded
with your suppliers,
162
00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:32,985
and now you've got
faulty wiring.
163
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:36,192
-Agent of chaos strikes again.
-Why are you doing this?
164
00:06:36,193 --> 00:06:38,161
Because no one understands the
enemy better than the Colonel.
165
00:06:38,162 --> 00:06:40,333
If he says you're gonna be
attacked, you gotta be ready.
166
00:06:40,334 --> 00:06:42,872
Nope. I mean,
why are you a stagehand?
167
00:06:42,873 --> 00:06:45,243
Okay, what is this vendetta
against stagehands?
168
00:06:45,244 --> 00:06:47,013
They're the backbone
of the theater.
169
00:06:47,014 --> 00:06:48,064
Relax, Shakespeare.
170
00:06:48,065 --> 00:06:50,086
-You're wearing a cool outfit.
-Thank you.
171
00:06:50,087 --> 00:06:53,092
Corporal Papadakis, I need
more power to laundry.
172
00:06:53,093 --> 00:06:54,729
[Elias] Yeah, working
on it, Captain.
173
00:06:54,730 --> 00:06:55,964
Hey, listen, while I have you,
174
00:06:55,965 --> 00:06:57,567
I'd love for you
to support my appeal
175
00:06:57,568 --> 00:06:59,538
regarding the Colonel's
kicking me out of the Army.
176
00:06:59,539 --> 00:07:01,642
I like it here. They gave
me a free footlocker
177
00:07:01,643 --> 00:07:02,644
in the Bayou Churchill.
178
00:07:02,645 --> 00:07:04,048
Not the time, corporal.
179
00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,516
[Elias] I shouldn't be
punished for my love
180
00:07:05,517 --> 00:07:08,488
of birthday cake
because well, it's just that
181
00:07:08,489 --> 00:07:09,960
cake and I are an amazing team.
182
00:07:09,961 --> 00:07:11,929
We're, uh, together like
peanut butter and jelly,
183
00:07:11,930 --> 00:07:13,799
like college students
and Adderall, okay?
184
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,071
-Appeal denied, soldier.
-Don't...
185
00:07:16,105 --> 00:07:17,909
Corporal, what about the power?
186
00:07:17,910 --> 00:07:19,878
I can get you the juice,
but I'd have to shut down
187
00:07:19,879 --> 00:07:21,281
the bowling alley
and let's just say
188
00:07:21,282 --> 00:07:22,818
the locals are
having a tournament.
189
00:07:22,819 --> 00:07:25,958
Betray your beloved
townies? No way
190
00:07:27,863 --> 00:07:30,901
-Do it.
-May God have mercy on us all.
191
00:07:30,968 --> 00:07:33,607
[instrumental music]
192
00:07:33,674 --> 00:07:36,713
[people exclaiming]
193
00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:41,856
Back on schedule.
194
00:07:41,857 --> 00:07:43,059
Impressive.
195
00:07:44,128 --> 00:07:46,199
You ain't seen nothing yet.
196
00:07:46,232 --> 00:07:49,639
-Only I get to be that cocky.
-Let's go, move, move!
197
00:07:49,673 --> 00:07:52,011
Oh, um, just one more
load of laundry
198
00:07:52,012 --> 00:07:54,314
with, uh, time to spare.
Would you look at that?
199
00:07:54,315 --> 00:07:57,855
Well, how is BA gonna handle
it without his jeep, you know?
200
00:07:57,856 --> 00:07:59,357
The enemy had to
watch an hour-long
201
00:07:59,358 --> 00:08:02,030
YouTube tutorial
to figure this one out.
202
00:08:02,063 --> 00:08:04,401
-Twenty. Mississippi,
-Private BA?
203
00:08:04,434 --> 00:08:07,174
-Nineteen...
-Anyone got eyes on BA?
204
00:08:07,241 --> 00:08:08,811
-I'm really going slow.
-Stop!
205
00:08:08,812 --> 00:08:10,179
-Mississippi, seventeen.
-Come on, BA.
206
00:08:10,180 --> 00:08:12,149
-[BA] Watch out, watch out!
-Here he comes!
207
00:08:12,150 --> 00:08:13,720
Watch out! Out of the way!
208
00:08:13,787 --> 00:08:16,359
[slow motion speech]
209
00:08:16,459 --> 00:08:18,229
[groans]
210
00:08:18,296 --> 00:08:20,901
[cheering]
211
00:08:20,902 --> 00:08:23,607
Yes, yes!
212
00:08:23,674 --> 00:08:25,578
-Whoo!
-Whoo!
213
00:08:25,611 --> 00:08:27,682
-Yes! Yes!
-Way to go, BA!
214
00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:29,084
-Thank you.
-Oh, colonel.
215
00:08:29,118 --> 00:08:31,990
You have to remind me.
How do you like your crow?
216
00:08:32,057 --> 00:08:35,430
Barbecue, right? I told
you we're always prepared,
217
00:08:35,431 --> 00:08:36,765
and we can handle you,
and, I mean...
218
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,704
Hey, what the hell is that?
219
00:08:38,771 --> 00:08:40,271
That appears to be a drone, sir.
220
00:08:40,273 --> 00:08:42,946
Yeah, we have an unidentified
bogey in our airspace.
221
00:08:42,947 --> 00:08:44,748
Oh, Colonel, no, no, no.
That's just Geert.
222
00:08:44,749 --> 00:08:46,185
-What's Geert?
-Geert.
223
00:08:46,186 --> 00:08:48,188
[Maggie] He's a little Dutch boy
who lives in the next town.
224
00:08:48,189 --> 00:08:50,059
He's quite
the drone pilot. Hi, Geert.
225
00:08:50,060 --> 00:08:51,863
-Hi, cutie.
-What, don't wave at him.
226
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:53,465
You're letting this kid
fly a drone in?
227
00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:55,470
Yeah, he's like
the base's pen pal.
228
00:08:55,538 --> 00:08:57,676
-The pen pal? The base pen pal?
-Yeah.
229
00:08:57,742 --> 00:09:00,814
Yeah. And there we go.
230
00:09:00,848 --> 00:09:02,898
Oh, he wants to know
how the war game went.
231
00:09:02,952 --> 00:09:05,490
Oh, that's what the enemy
would wanna know.
232
00:09:05,491 --> 00:09:06,893
That's what the enemy
would wanna know.
233
00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:08,262
-Ugh!
-No, no, Geert.
234
00:09:11,636 --> 00:09:15,778
Aha. Chinese lettering.
What does that say?
235
00:09:15,878 --> 00:09:18,349
Sir, that says made in China.
236
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:20,118
If that makes this
an enemy drone,
237
00:09:20,119 --> 00:09:21,809
then I have a 65-inch
flat screen
238
00:09:21,810 --> 00:09:23,025
you'll wanna interrogate.
239
00:09:23,026 --> 00:09:25,029
Okay, are we done
fear-mongering?
240
00:09:25,063 --> 00:09:27,669
I'm not fear-mongering.
Have you met this kid?
241
00:09:27,670 --> 00:09:28,837
Yeah, we FaceTimed him once.
242
00:09:28,838 --> 00:09:30,038
Yeah, and what did he look like?
243
00:09:30,039 --> 00:09:31,089
He...
244
00:09:31,108 --> 00:09:32,858
-He was too shy to be on camera.
-Oh?
245
00:09:32,879 --> 00:09:34,414
But that made sense at the time.
246
00:09:34,415 --> 00:09:35,884
I'm sure it
made sense at the time.
247
00:09:35,885 --> 00:09:37,787
If you're a toothless woman
from the Midwest
248
00:09:37,788 --> 00:09:40,378
trying to catfish somebody
or, of course, a kid spy.
249
00:09:40,393 --> 00:09:43,032
No, you always do this.
You always need an enemy.
250
00:09:43,033 --> 00:09:44,902
It's like when you
thought my babysitter
251
00:09:44,903 --> 00:09:46,404
was poisoning my mind
with propaganda.
252
00:09:46,405 --> 00:09:49,210
O-okay, that stupid giving tree
with the free handouts
253
00:09:49,211 --> 00:09:51,983
that boy needed to get a real
job and buy his own wood.
254
00:09:51,984 --> 00:09:53,653
Colonel, Papadakis was
able to extract data
255
00:09:53,654 --> 00:09:56,024
from the drone's GPS.
We have Geert's location.
256
00:09:56,124 --> 00:09:57,227
No, no, no.
257
00:09:57,260 --> 00:10:00,835
No, you're not going into
a child's house
258
00:10:00,902 --> 00:10:03,373
and accusing him of espionage.
259
00:10:03,406 --> 00:10:05,143
-You're right. I'm not.
-Thank you.
260
00:10:05,176 --> 00:10:07,682
-We are. Yeah, we are going.
-What?
261
00:10:07,683 --> 00:10:08,883
That sounds like a great
262
00:10:08,884 --> 00:10:10,687
father-daughter
bonding experience.
263
00:10:10,688 --> 00:10:12,256
-Let me know how that goes.
-No, no, no, no, no.
264
00:10:12,257 --> 00:10:13,926
-No, we're all going.
-What did you say?
265
00:10:13,927 --> 00:10:14,995
-I can't hear you.
-We're all going.
266
00:10:14,996 --> 00:10:17,000
I can't hear you. Who is we?
267
00:10:17,067 --> 00:10:19,404
[Maggie] Geert is
not a terrorist.
268
00:10:19,471 --> 00:10:21,577
He's a sweet 12-year-old boy.
269
00:10:21,578 --> 00:10:23,311
Where does this paranoia
even come from?
270
00:10:23,312 --> 00:10:26,285
Okay, how about one cursory
glance at history, huh?
271
00:10:26,286 --> 00:10:28,255
Beautiful countryside.
You'd think nothing bad
272
00:10:28,256 --> 00:10:30,459
ever happened here, right?
You'd be wrong.
273
00:10:30,493 --> 00:10:32,397
September 1944.
274
00:10:32,430 --> 00:10:35,002
It's like we're on one of
their family road trips.
275
00:10:35,003 --> 00:10:36,337
-Right.
-I'm just kidding.
276
00:10:36,338 --> 00:10:38,609
He wasn't around long enough
for them to go anywhere.
277
00:10:38,610 --> 00:10:40,211
I'm sorry you got
dragged into this.
278
00:10:40,212 --> 00:10:42,116
Oh, it's okay. I'm sure
I'll get something out of it.
279
00:10:42,117 --> 00:10:43,653
Yeah, absolutely.
You can learn a lot.
280
00:10:43,654 --> 00:10:45,590
I mean, no one anticipates
a surprise attack
281
00:10:45,591 --> 00:10:47,595
or can sniff out a mole
like the colonel.
282
00:10:47,662 --> 00:10:48,897
[chuckles]
283
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,365
Yeah, well,
that's not what I meant.
284
00:10:50,366 --> 00:10:52,070
The man cost me my Comt�.
285
00:10:52,103 --> 00:10:53,907
I will be leaving
with something.
286
00:10:53,974 --> 00:10:55,677
Okay. Operation Market Garden.
287
00:10:55,744 --> 00:10:57,080
The Battle of the Scheldt.
288
00:10:57,081 --> 00:10:59,117
Right up the road here,
the Battle of Otterlo.
289
00:10:59,118 --> 00:11:01,122
I mean, this whole area,
all the roads,
290
00:11:01,189 --> 00:11:05,764
meadows, fields,
just smothered by Nazis.
291
00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:07,734
Are you being wistful right now?
292
00:11:07,735 --> 00:11:10,508
You sound like you were longing
for an old friend.
293
00:11:10,575 --> 00:11:12,846
I just would love to
have been there
294
00:11:12,879 --> 00:11:14,247
just so I could, you know,
295
00:11:14,281 --> 00:11:16,519
just punch one Nazi
right in his Nazi face.
296
00:11:16,553 --> 00:11:20,260
Okay, dad, stop. You're,
you're making me a statistic.
297
00:11:20,261 --> 00:11:22,463
Just another daughter
who has lost her father
298
00:11:22,464 --> 00:11:23,867
to World War II addiction.
299
00:11:23,901 --> 00:11:27,241
It's like fentanyl for boomers.
300
00:11:27,242 --> 00:11:29,678
[Elias] The colonel is finally
serious about kicking me out.
301
00:11:29,679 --> 00:11:31,214
I guess we should just
put up our stuff.
302
00:11:31,215 --> 00:11:33,319
I'm gonna need to take that
Fast 8 poster.
303
00:11:33,386 --> 00:11:35,825
All the computers, the TV,
the beanbag couch.
304
00:11:35,826 --> 00:11:38,128
Okay, I guess I called dibs
on the mini fridge then.
305
00:11:38,129 --> 00:11:40,066
Now, wait, man ,
I can't let you do that.
306
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:41,869
We brought that baby
into this world together
307
00:11:41,870 --> 00:11:43,071
with those Dave & Buster
tickets.
308
00:11:43,072 --> 00:11:44,642
-I know, I know.
-I just wish there was something
309
00:11:44,643 --> 00:11:47,280
we could do to change
the colonel's mind.
310
00:11:47,281 --> 00:11:49,383
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait. I've got it.
311
00:11:49,384 --> 00:11:50,953
What does the colonel hate
more than anything
312
00:11:50,954 --> 00:11:52,959
-in the entire world?
-Pacifists.
313
00:11:53,025 --> 00:11:55,765
-And after that?
-Billie Eilish?
314
00:11:55,832 --> 00:11:58,036
Okay, third then?
315
00:11:58,037 --> 00:11:59,470
The possum's squatting
in the air tower.
316
00:11:59,471 --> 00:12:01,775
Dude, we just gotta figure out
a way to kick him out!
317
00:12:01,776 --> 00:12:03,914
I know!
318
00:12:03,947 --> 00:12:06,184
I'm scared of possums.
319
00:12:06,653 --> 00:12:08,823
[both screaming]
320
00:12:08,857 --> 00:12:10,260
[dramatic music]
321
00:12:10,293 --> 00:12:12,463
[panting]
322
00:12:14,936 --> 00:12:16,807
-Ah! Ah!
-[BA] Oh, God.
323
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:19,245
Everything hurts. [groans]
324
00:12:19,311 --> 00:12:23,821
Dude, that just felt
unbelievably coordinated.
325
00:12:23,822 --> 00:12:26,424
Yes, I think they, I think
they speak same language.
326
00:12:26,425 --> 00:12:28,697
Felt like they were
toying with us at the end.
327
00:12:28,730 --> 00:12:29,966
[door opens]
328
00:12:31,135 --> 00:12:33,807
[laughing]
329
00:12:35,443 --> 00:12:37,114
So you are Geert?
330
00:12:37,147 --> 00:12:40,453
I am Geert chess teacher.
331
00:12:41,455 --> 00:12:44,127
Geert, you have adult visitors.
332
00:12:44,161 --> 00:12:45,998
-I'll leave you now.
-Yeah.
333
00:12:46,064 --> 00:12:48,503
-Hm?
-A Russian chess teacher?
334
00:12:50,373 --> 00:12:51,976
Maggie, Dana.
335
00:12:52,010 --> 00:12:53,547
-Hi!
-My American friends.
336
00:12:53,548 --> 00:12:55,048
[Maggie] I told you
he was a boy.
337
00:12:55,049 --> 00:12:56,551
Hey, Geert,
where are your parents?
338
00:12:56,552 --> 00:12:58,322
-The dentist.
-[scoffs]
339
00:12:58,355 --> 00:13:01,028
Parents are at a joint
dental appointment
340
00:13:01,029 --> 00:13:02,897
in a country
with socialized medicine?
341
00:13:02,898 --> 00:13:04,101
Yeah, likely story, pal.
342
00:13:04,102 --> 00:13:05,570
[Abraham] Um, hey,
you know, I've always
343
00:13:05,571 --> 00:13:07,106
trusted your instincts, right?
344
00:13:07,107 --> 00:13:09,679
Yeah, I know.
That's 'cause I'm always right.
345
00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:11,414
I predicted your divorce
at your wedding.
346
00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:12,751
That was a really heartfelt
speech, sir.
347
00:13:12,752 --> 00:13:15,524
I just think
that's a child, right?
348
00:13:15,525 --> 00:13:17,226
And I was with you
this whole time,
349
00:13:17,227 --> 00:13:18,797
but once again, that is a child.
350
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,298
-Maybe we should leave.
-Yeah, you're right.
351
00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:22,705
Let me tell you something,
Benjamin Button.
352
00:13:22,706 --> 00:13:24,575
You have everybody else
fooled, but not me.
353
00:13:24,576 --> 00:13:26,010
I know you're up to something.
354
00:13:26,011 --> 00:13:27,346
You got five seconds
to come clean.
355
00:13:27,347 --> 00:13:29,251
-Dad! Dad, stop!
-One, Mississippi.
356
00:13:29,285 --> 00:13:31,556
-Two, U.S. Army.
-Geert, please don't cry!
357
00:13:31,589 --> 00:13:34,428
No, Margaret. He is right.
358
00:13:34,494 --> 00:13:37,033
I've been secretly
collecting documents.
359
00:13:37,100 --> 00:13:38,871
I shall give them to you now.
360
00:13:38,904 --> 00:13:40,707
Documents! He's got it.
361
00:13:40,774 --> 00:13:42,912
-What?
-Collecting documents.
362
00:13:42,978 --> 00:13:44,949
I was right. Thank you.
363
00:13:44,982 --> 00:13:47,789
[Dana] That's just his mom's
glossy fashion magazine.
364
00:13:47,855 --> 00:13:51,596
Zendaya makes me feel things
in my body.
365
00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:53,331
[Dana] Is that why
it's so glossy?
366
00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:54,668
[Geert's mom] Geert,
what's going on?
367
00:13:54,669 --> 00:13:57,508
-Parents are here.
-Ah, we're here.
368
00:13:57,541 --> 00:14:01,983
So, yeah, it's official.
Your son's into Zendaya, um...
369
00:14:01,984 --> 00:14:04,454
Zendaya, so it means he's
probably into girls, so...
370
00:14:04,455 --> 00:14:07,127
-Who are you?
-We're the U.S. Navy.
371
00:14:07,194 --> 00:14:10,066
-Yeah, that's right.
-We're everywhere, okay?
372
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:12,471
Sorry. Gotta get
back to the boat!
373
00:14:12,505 --> 00:14:14,642
[instrumental music]
374
00:14:15,911 --> 00:14:17,113
You were right. Fine.
375
00:14:17,147 --> 00:14:20,186
Geert hasn't been turned
by the enemy... yet.
376
00:14:20,187 --> 00:14:21,822
-Oh, my God.
-Sir. This might be the fact
377
00:14:21,823 --> 00:14:23,826
that I just witnessed
a tearful confession
378
00:14:23,827 --> 00:14:25,161
of a preteen's
masturbation habits,
379
00:14:25,162 --> 00:14:26,765
but maybe it's time
to admit that
380
00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:29,470
here in the Netherlands, we're
not surrounded by enemies.
381
00:14:29,471 --> 00:14:31,474
Okay, well, you're just
lucky you weren't here
382
00:14:31,475 --> 00:14:34,883
in the early 1930s,
when apparently a harmless,
383
00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:36,176
failed Austrian painter...
384
00:14:36,177 --> 00:14:37,486
-Don't say it.
-Please don't.
385
00:14:37,487 --> 00:14:39,122
[Patrick] ...everybody
came to call...
386
00:14:39,123 --> 00:14:42,230
No, no, no! Okay, you know what?
You want World War II?
387
00:14:42,263 --> 00:14:45,771
I will give you World War II.
Let's go.
388
00:14:45,804 --> 00:14:48,543
[instrumental music]
389
00:14:48,610 --> 00:14:51,850
Wow, what a nice surprise.
390
00:14:51,950 --> 00:14:54,454
You've got some incredible
pieces here.
391
00:14:55,724 --> 00:14:58,295
Here it is. This is what
you wanted to see, right?
392
00:14:58,329 --> 00:14:59,498
Patton's gun?
393
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,368
[Patrick] Wow, look at that.
394
00:15:01,435 --> 00:15:03,306
He said his .357
was his killing gun,
395
00:15:03,307 --> 00:15:05,175
but this was
his walking-around gun.
396
00:15:05,176 --> 00:15:07,547
Thank you for bringing me here.
I mean, this is a great way
397
00:15:07,548 --> 00:15:09,818
to admit that you were wrong.
It's very honorable.
398
00:15:09,819 --> 00:15:13,292
No, see, I brought you here
to show you what's gonna happen
399
00:15:13,359 --> 00:15:15,564
if you don't stop
living in the past.
400
00:15:15,597 --> 00:15:17,568
If you refuse to evolve,
401
00:15:17,602 --> 00:15:21,442
you're just gonna
become an old, dusty relic
402
00:15:21,510 --> 00:15:24,013
that nobody wants
anything to do with.
403
00:15:24,114 --> 00:15:26,620
[music continues]
404
00:15:26,686 --> 00:15:28,021
Okay.
405
00:15:29,792 --> 00:15:32,397
-Was that too mean?
-Hmm.
406
00:15:32,430 --> 00:15:35,036
-Do you have a bathroom?
-Mm-hmm-mm.
407
00:15:35,069 --> 00:15:38,576
[humming] Bathroom, bathroom,
where are you? But...
408
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,852
[keychain jangling]
409
00:15:42,885 --> 00:15:44,454
[door opens]
410
00:15:46,425 --> 00:15:48,129
Holy Nazi!
411
00:15:48,162 --> 00:15:50,166
[instrumental music]
412
00:15:50,233 --> 00:15:54,374
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, my God. He is a Nazi.
413
00:15:54,441 --> 00:15:56,278
I still gotta pee.
414
00:16:01,021 --> 00:16:04,461
Colonel, colonel.
You're gonna wanna hear this.
415
00:16:04,462 --> 00:16:06,130
All right, listen,
I know you were right.
416
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,369
I am a dusty old relic
that belongs on a shelf.
417
00:16:08,436 --> 00:16:10,574
I don't get it.
I just, I guess I need,
418
00:16:10,575 --> 00:16:13,445
like, an enemy for moral clarity
or something, you know?
419
00:16:13,446 --> 00:16:18,523
That is real growth, and I want
you to remember that, okay?
420
00:16:18,556 --> 00:16:20,486
And-and remember
that you were wrong
421
00:16:20,527 --> 00:16:23,900
about Geert and the drone,
and so, so, so, so much more.
422
00:16:23,901 --> 00:16:25,736
-Okay, yeah, yeah.
-Usually so wrong
423
00:16:25,737 --> 00:16:30,948
about all things. Um, but
there's a Nazi in there.
424
00:16:30,981 --> 00:16:32,618
I knew it! There's a Nazi.
425
00:16:32,619 --> 00:16:34,287
Yeah, I should have
recognized that mole.
426
00:16:34,288 --> 00:16:36,056
It's Cindy Crawford meets
the master race.
427
00:16:36,057 --> 00:16:37,628
It's Helmut von Furstenberg,
428
00:16:37,629 --> 00:16:39,931
the Butcher of Baden,
and I'm about to get him.
429
00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:41,768
Okay, Colonel,
your instincts were right.
430
00:16:41,769 --> 00:16:43,540
There was an enemy near-ish.
431
00:16:43,573 --> 00:16:46,178
-I'm sorry I doubted you, sir.
-Okay, he didn't know.
432
00:16:46,179 --> 00:16:47,413
Well, maybe we should
circle back
433
00:16:47,414 --> 00:16:48,716
and check on Geert after this.
434
00:16:48,717 --> 00:16:49,884
-Good idea.
-Wrong lesson.
435
00:16:49,885 --> 00:16:51,254
-Makes no sense.
-I don't know.
436
00:16:51,255 --> 00:16:53,065
-He did find the Nazi.
-I-I found him.
437
00:16:53,066 --> 00:16:54,928
-But why would he be here?
-The Battle of Otterlo.
438
00:16:54,929 --> 00:16:57,901
An Allied victory so resounding
that Nazis who were fleeing
439
00:16:57,902 --> 00:17:00,707
stripped off their uniforms
and melted into the countryside
440
00:17:00,708 --> 00:17:02,844
to live their cowardly lives
in anonymity.
441
00:17:02,845 --> 00:17:04,615
-Like this guy.
-Wow.
442
00:17:04,616 --> 00:17:06,752
Okay, just 'cause I was bored
out of my mind
443
00:17:06,753 --> 00:17:07,987
doesn't mean I wasn't listening.
444
00:17:07,988 --> 00:17:09,624
-You know?
-I can't believe this, guys.
445
00:17:09,625 --> 00:17:13,265
I'm gonna fight the final battle
of World War II.
446
00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:14,801
Oh, my God,
and I get to punch a Nazi.
447
00:17:14,802 --> 00:17:15,903
Probably the final Nazi.
448
00:17:15,904 --> 00:17:17,975
I'm gonna be in
the history books.
449
00:17:18,042 --> 00:17:21,248
-Wow.
-Are you getting emotional?
450
00:17:21,314 --> 00:17:22,618
This is a big deal for him.
451
00:17:22,619 --> 00:17:24,420
All right, he's got
a real Indiana Jones fantasy
452
00:17:24,421 --> 00:17:26,157
and everything in there
belongs in a museum.
453
00:17:26,158 --> 00:17:28,596
[sighs] So this is poetic.
454
00:17:28,663 --> 00:17:31,134
Okay, how do I look?
455
00:17:31,201 --> 00:17:32,761
Like you're missing something.
456
00:17:36,311 --> 00:17:39,585
Oh, dude, now we're never
gonna get to show the colonel
457
00:17:39,652 --> 00:17:42,591
that you deserve to
stay in the Army.
458
00:17:42,592 --> 00:17:44,159
I want you to
have the mini fridge.
459
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:45,896
-Oh, really?
-[phone notification chimes]
460
00:17:45,897 --> 00:17:48,336
Mm-hmm.
461
00:17:48,402 --> 00:17:49,839
Okay.
462
00:17:49,872 --> 00:17:53,579
[chuckles] Why don't we both
keep the mini fridge?
463
00:17:57,721 --> 00:18:01,529
Hey. You know what they say,
if you're gonna fight a Nazi,
464
00:18:01,530 --> 00:18:03,765
you gotta do it in
a World War II inspired uniform.
465
00:18:03,766 --> 00:18:05,468
You guys look like
you've fought a Nazi.
466
00:18:05,469 --> 00:18:06,838
-What happened?
-Oh, my gosh.
467
00:18:06,839 --> 00:18:09,309
We were fighting over
who could carry the uniform.
468
00:18:09,310 --> 00:18:10,780
-And you won. Wow.
-Yes.
469
00:18:10,781 --> 00:18:12,884
You guys are even more
resourceful than I thought.
470
00:18:12,885 --> 00:18:15,256
I totally underestimated you.
471
00:18:15,323 --> 00:18:17,060
Nice job. Now, I gotta go.
472
00:18:17,127 --> 00:18:19,899
-I gotta go fight a Nazi.
-Fun.
473
00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:23,105
[upbeat music]
474
00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:39,470
-Where is that Nazi bastard?
-My body feels amazing.
475
00:18:39,505 --> 00:18:41,743
-I know. Pure electricity?
-Tingling with...
476
00:18:41,810 --> 00:18:44,280
'Cause you're about to go
toe-to-toe with evil?
477
00:18:44,281 --> 00:18:45,616
-Exactly.
-Yeah, that's how I feel
478
00:18:45,617 --> 00:18:48,055
every day.
Helmut von Furstenberg,
479
00:18:48,089 --> 00:18:49,925
show your face.
480
00:18:50,025 --> 00:18:53,700
[Elias] Oh, right! WW2 was like
a thousand years ago.
481
00:18:53,766 --> 00:18:55,636
[Patrick laughs] Ah-ha!
482
00:18:55,637 --> 00:18:56,772
[keys jingling]
483
00:18:56,839 --> 00:18:58,710
I peed on your Nazi stuff.
484
00:18:58,776 --> 00:19:00,213
-Oh!
-You did what?
485
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:01,481
-What?
-Did you wipe?
486
00:19:01,549 --> 00:19:03,953
-What?!
-He's a literal Nazi. Judge him.
487
00:19:03,954 --> 00:19:06,190
I think I've never been
prouder of you than right now.
488
00:19:06,191 --> 00:19:07,794
-Okay, let's focus.
-Okay. You know what?
489
00:19:07,795 --> 00:19:10,534
World's been waiting
80 years for this, pal.
490
00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:12,538
[groaning]
491
00:19:12,571 --> 00:19:14,240
[thuds]
492
00:19:17,313 --> 00:19:19,351
-Hm.
-Sorry, what's happening?
493
00:19:19,417 --> 00:19:20,887
He's having a heart attack.
494
00:19:20,954 --> 00:19:22,390
-Right.
-We should save him.
495
00:19:22,391 --> 00:19:24,193
Do we save him?
I mean, he was a Nazi.
496
00:19:24,194 --> 00:19:26,398
If anything, we do
Maggie's pee thing.
497
00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:27,967
-That is not my thing.
-Yeah. it is.
498
00:19:27,968 --> 00:19:30,204
Why don't you just say now?
It's definitely your thing.
499
00:19:30,205 --> 00:19:31,609
Listen, Maggie's right.
500
00:19:31,610 --> 00:19:33,244
He's our enemy
until he's wounded.
501
00:19:33,245 --> 00:19:35,248
Now he's wounded,
we gotta save his life.
502
00:19:35,249 --> 00:19:38,422
[dramatic music]
503
00:19:42,798 --> 00:19:44,400
-[bones crunching]
-Oh.
504
00:19:44,401 --> 00:19:45,670
What do you want me to do?
He's old.
505
00:19:45,671 --> 00:19:47,272
-He's got Cheetos for ribs.
-Yeah...
506
00:19:47,273 --> 00:19:49,143
Oh, I think
you should stop, colonel.
507
00:19:49,144 --> 00:19:51,881
-Yeah, no, I think you're right.
-You're making him more dead.
508
00:19:51,882 --> 00:19:54,153
He... My hands are wet.
509
00:19:54,187 --> 00:19:57,795
Can you see if there's any Nazi
paper towels or handkerchiefs?
510
00:19:57,862 --> 00:20:00,099
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
511
00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:01,869
[instrumental music]
512
00:20:01,903 --> 00:20:03,674
[ambulance siren]
513
00:20:03,707 --> 00:20:06,477
Sorry you didn't get to,
uh, punch a Nazi.
514
00:20:06,478 --> 00:20:08,682
Well, I got to cave his chest
in, which is pretty cool.
515
00:20:08,683 --> 00:20:10,754
-[shudders] Nah.
-Oh, I love that.
516
00:20:10,788 --> 00:20:13,458
Thank you. A racist dead man
gave it to me.
517
00:20:13,526 --> 00:20:16,465
-Oh!
-Uh, I don't think we should be
518
00:20:16,498 --> 00:20:18,301
stealing items from crime...
519
00:20:18,335 --> 00:20:22,678
Ooh-hoo-hoo. God, I love you.
That's fantastic.
520
00:20:22,711 --> 00:20:25,149
I am still waiting for you
to say that to my face.
521
00:20:25,150 --> 00:20:26,652
-Okay. Me, me, me.
-You know that, right?
522
00:20:26,653 --> 00:20:28,857
I told you I was leaving
with something.
523
00:20:28,923 --> 00:20:31,127
-You did say that.
-Am I...
524
00:20:31,194 --> 00:20:32,631
-Okay.
-Wow.
525
00:20:35,003 --> 00:20:36,906
[instrumental music]
526
00:20:38,208 --> 00:20:39,645
[knocks on door]
527
00:20:39,712 --> 00:20:42,216
-Colonel. You wanted to see me?
-Hey!
528
00:20:42,283 --> 00:20:45,591
Look at you. Well, well, well.
529
00:20:45,624 --> 00:20:47,795
-You combed your hair.
-Yes, I did.
530
00:20:47,828 --> 00:20:51,670
And you got your jacket ironed
and it zipped up.
531
00:20:51,703 --> 00:20:54,373
You took a couple steps
in my direction.
532
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,512
-I finally get it, Big C.
-You do?
533
00:20:56,513 --> 00:20:57,980
All these things
you've been teaching me.
534
00:20:57,981 --> 00:21:00,286
-Good.
-Stealing tanks...
535
00:21:00,287 --> 00:21:02,022
Punching old Germans,
prostitution.
536
00:21:02,023 --> 00:21:04,326
Never dating 'em. I don't know
what your deal is.
537
00:21:04,327 --> 00:21:05,896
And that's what it means
to be a soldier, right?
538
00:21:05,897 --> 00:21:07,000
-Shh!
-Right?
539
00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:08,536
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
540
00:21:08,537 --> 00:21:09,571
-That's...
-Old school.
541
00:21:09,572 --> 00:21:10,773
It's old school, but it's not...
542
00:21:10,774 --> 00:21:12,242
You can't tell
anybody about that.
543
00:21:12,243 --> 00:21:13,545
Besides the people
that already know
544
00:21:13,546 --> 00:21:14,614
that are involved with us.
545
00:21:14,615 --> 00:21:15,884
-We can't.
-Yeah, I know.
546
00:21:15,885 --> 00:21:17,653
So you can't tell family
members, friends.
547
00:21:17,654 --> 00:21:18,955
Nobody can know about this.
548
00:21:18,956 --> 00:21:20,126
Not gonna tell anyone.
549
00:21:20,192 --> 00:21:21,929
Okay.
550
00:21:21,963 --> 00:21:23,733
-Very good, soldier.
-Yup.
551
00:21:23,734 --> 00:21:25,970
The hair's still not in
regulation yet, but it's good.
552
00:21:25,971 --> 00:21:27,005
-I'm glad you...
-Yeah.
553
00:21:27,006 --> 00:21:28,442
Uh, I do need to get my mom
554
00:21:28,509 --> 00:21:30,445
to take down a podcast, bye.
555
00:21:31,515 --> 00:21:35,990
W-wait, what?
Your mom has a podcast?
556
00:21:36,057 --> 00:21:38,328
[children] It's going so well.
557
00:21:38,378 --> 00:21:42,928
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