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Hello, and thanks
for joining us here on TCM.
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00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:46,311
I'm Dave Karger,
stepping in for Ben Mankiewicz.
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00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:48,446
Tonight, we're bringing you
a lineup of films
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00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:50,849
starring
the hilarious Madeline Kahn.
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00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:52,985
We just showed you
her scene-stealing performance
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00:00:52,987 --> 00:00:56,521
in Mel Brooks' 1974 comedy
"Young Frankenstein,"
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00:00:56,523 --> 00:00:58,256
and up next is a quirky comedy
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00:00:58,258 --> 00:01:01,059
starring Kahn
alongside Alan Arkin.
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00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,996
From Orion Pictures and
distributed by Warner Bros.
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00:01:03,998 --> 00:01:06,731
in 1980, it's "Simon."
13
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:09,534
It's about a group of scientists
with unlimited funding --
14
00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:12,004
the Institute
for Advanced Concepts --
15
00:01:12,006 --> 00:01:14,006
who decide to play
an elaborate hoax
16
00:01:14,008 --> 00:01:16,875
by brainwashing a man
into thinking he's an alien
17
00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:19,344
and then using him to convince
the public
18
00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:22,481
that extraterrestrial beings
actually exist.
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00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:25,217
Their unsuspecting victim
is a psychology professor,
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00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:27,886
Simon Mendelssohn,
played by Alan Arkin --
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00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:29,488
a man who was orphaned at birth
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00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:32,156
and has
no other biological family.
23
00:01:32,158 --> 00:01:34,292
The story for "Simon"
was the brainchild
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00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:36,161
of Marshall Brickman
and Thomas Baum,
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00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:38,096
with Brickman
writing the screenplay
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00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,765
in what was also
his directorial debut.
27
00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,300
Brickman is perhaps best known
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00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:44,369
for his collaborations
with Woody Allen,
29
00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:47,239
cowriting the screenplays
for four of Allen's films --
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00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:48,973
"Sleeper" from 1973;
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00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:50,975
"Annie Hall" from 1977,
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00:01:50,977 --> 00:01:52,977
which earned him and Allen
an Academy Award
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00:01:52,979 --> 00:01:54,379
for Best Original Screenplay;
34
00:01:54,381 --> 00:01:56,314
1979's "Manhattan";
35
00:01:56,316 --> 00:01:59,451
and "Manhattan Murder Mystery"
from 1993.
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00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,053
Madeline Kahn appears here
37
00:02:01,055 --> 00:02:03,988
as a lab assistant
who visits the institute.
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00:02:03,990 --> 00:02:06,258
By 1980,
Kahn had established herself
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00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:08,393
as one of Hollywood's
top comediennes,
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00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:10,729
and she shines in this film.
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00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:13,666
Also featuring Wallace Shawn
and Judy Graubart --
42
00:02:13,668 --> 00:02:15,067
who starred with Kahn
43
00:02:15,069 --> 00:02:18,603
on the special television series
"Comedy Tonight" in 1970 --
44
00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:20,072
here's "Simon."
45
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:54,740
[ WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYS ]
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00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:28,132
Narrator:
IT IS NOT GENERALLY KNOWN
47
00:04:28,134 --> 00:04:31,603
THAT MANY OF THE STRANGE AND ALARMING TRENDS
48
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:34,673
OBSERVED IN THIS COUNTRY IN RECENT YEARS
49
00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:37,742
WERE NOT RANDOM OCCURRENCES,
50
00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:41,880
COINCIDENCES, OR SO-CALLED ACTS OF GOD,
51
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:45,750
BUT ARE, IN FACT, DIRECTLY TRACEABLE
52
00:04:45,752 --> 00:04:49,153
TO THIS GROUP OF MEN -- FIVE OF THE MOST BRILLIANT
53
00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:52,491
AND TWISTED GENIUSES IN AMERICA,
54
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:54,893
PERHAPS IN THE ENTIRE WORLD --
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00:04:54,895 --> 00:05:00,032
LIVING AND WORKING TOGETHER, ISOLATED, PROTECTED,
56
00:05:00,034 --> 00:05:02,234
AND FUNDED BY A GOVERNMENT CONTRACT
57
00:05:02,236 --> 00:05:06,171
SO BRILLIANTLY INCOMPREHENSIBLE THAT NO ONE,
58
00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:08,907
EVEN AT THE HIGHEST WASHINGTON LEVELS,
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00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:11,109
KNEW ITS REAL ACTIVITIES.
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00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:15,380
THIS GROUP, IN THE NAME OF FREE SCIENTIFIC INQUIRY,
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00:05:15,382 --> 00:05:19,651
PERPETRATED A SERIES OF SCENARIOS SO SINISTER,
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00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:23,722
SO BIZARRE, AND SO CHILDISHLY PERVERSE,
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00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:26,725
THAT RATIONAL MEN ARGUE THAT THE CIVILIZATION
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00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:29,794
WHICH HAD COME SO FAR IN SO SHORT A TIME
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00:05:29,796 --> 00:05:32,865
WAS FINALLY COLLAPSING.
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00:05:32,867 --> 00:05:35,333
DR. CARL BECKER, DIRECTOR OF THE INSTITUTE.
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00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,069
EXCUSE ME, DR. BECKER?
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00:05:37,071 --> 00:05:38,470
OH, YES?
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00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:40,472
HOW DID THE FIVE OF YOU MEET?
70
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:42,741
WE WERE ALL SENT OUT
HERE SOME YEARS AGO
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00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:44,877
BY SOMEONE WHO THOUGHT
IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA
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00:05:44,879 --> 00:05:47,412
FOR THE BEST MINDS
TO BE PUT TOGETHER
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00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:48,947
IN A GOOD ENVIRONMENT
WITH UNLIMITED FUNDS.
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00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:52,016
AND WHAT WERE YOU ALL SUPPOSED TO DO?
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00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,485
OH, THINK.
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00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:54,953
A THINK TANK. WHAT ABOUT?
77
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,955
THE USUAL --
YOU KNOW, THE FOOD SHORTAGE,
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00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:58,957
ECOLOGY, ENERGY,
THAT SORT OF THING.
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00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:01,159
WE WERE SUPPOSED
TO SAVE THE WORLD.
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00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:02,561
WHAT WENT WRONG?
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00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,429
NOTHING WENT WRONG.
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00:06:04,431 --> 00:06:06,030
WE JUST GOT INTO MORE
INTERESTING MATERIAL.
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00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,432
THAT'S ALL.
84
00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:09,033
MORE INTERESTING MATERIAL. WHAT KIND OF MATERIAL?
85
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:12,504
OH, A LITTLE THIS,
A LITTLE THAT.
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00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:15,507
HUNDERTWASSER
DOES ALL OF OUR MEDIA WORK.
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00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:21,513
UH, THIS DEVICE
ALLOWS US TO JAM
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00:06:21,515 --> 00:06:23,448
ALL THE NIELSEN BOXES
IN THE COUNTRY.
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00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:26,184
I SEE. YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT THE TELEVISION RATING SYSTEM.
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00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:29,654
THAT'S RIGHT. WE'VE BEEN DOING
THAT FOR THE PAST SIX YEARS.
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00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:31,656
WE SUBSTITUTE
OUR OWN INFORMATION,
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00:06:31,658 --> 00:06:35,928
USING MICROWAVES
FROM ROVING VANS.
93
00:06:35,930 --> 00:06:37,796
MMM.
94
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:41,800
YOU SEE THAT?
TOTAL ENVIRONMENT CONTROL.
95
00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:44,603
THE ENTIRE COUNTRY? THAT SOUNDS IMPOSSIBLE.
96
00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:47,205
WELL, IT'S NOT
THAT DIFFICULT.
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00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:51,009
UH, WE PICK A SHOW AT RANDOM
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00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:55,413
AND FEED A WINNING SHARE
INTO THE NIELSEN BOXES,
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00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:58,483
LIKE, UH...
YOU GOT A MINUTE?
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00:06:58,485 --> 00:07:03,221
SEE? "DONNY & MARIE
HEFTY 60 SHARE --
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00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:05,023
AUDIENCE OF 70 MILLION."
102
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:07,159
NOW, WE HAPPEN TO KNOW
THAT ON THAT NIGHT,
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00:07:07,161 --> 00:07:09,828
THERE WERE ONLY 1,200 PEOPLE
IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY
104
00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:12,765
WHO WATCHED THAT PARTICULAR
SHOW, NOT 70 MILLION.
105
00:07:12,767 --> 00:07:14,566
WELL, THAT'S AMAZING.
106
00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:17,770
THAT'S RIGHT. THE IMPORTANT
THING TO REMEMBER
107
00:07:17,772 --> 00:07:22,107
IS THAT NIELSEN IS TOTALLY
WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING.
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00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:25,778
DR. BARUNDI CONCEIVED
AND WORKED WITH THE CHINESE
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00:07:25,780 --> 00:07:28,180
ON THE NIXON
SUBSTITUTION SCENARIO.
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00:07:28,182 --> 00:07:30,715
THE NIXON SUBSTITUTION SCENARIO?
111
00:07:30,717 --> 00:07:33,117
WHAT WAS THAT EXACTLY?
112
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:36,989
THE NIXON WHO
ENTERED CHINA IN 1972
113
00:07:36,991 --> 00:07:39,992
WAS NOT THE ONE
WE SENT BACK.
114
00:07:43,930 --> 00:07:50,002
FICHANDER -- CHEMISTRY,
BIOLOGY, AND PHARMACEUTICALS.
115
00:07:50,004 --> 00:07:52,604
UH, I HAVE
SOME THINGS HERE.
116
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,539
WE'RE INTO SEVERAL
AREAS, ACTUALLY --
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00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:57,942
VIRUSES, SOME PHAGE CLONING,
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00:07:57,944 --> 00:08:02,014
DNA, CRYSTALLINE DIFFRACTION.
119
00:08:02,016 --> 00:08:03,548
AHH.
120
00:08:03,550 --> 00:08:05,617
I DID THE NEW
PENICILLIN-RESISTING
121
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:07,886
GONORRHEA STRAIN
A FEW YEARS AGO, REMEMBER?
122
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:11,956
IT WAS IN ALL THE PAPERS.
NOBODY COULD FIGURE IT OUT.
123
00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:14,626
AND VAN DONGEN IS DOING
SOME VERY NICE STUFF
124
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:16,795
WITH GENETICS AND ADAPTATION.
125
00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:25,037
GENETICALLY SPEAKING,
MAN IS VERY UNSTABLE.
126
00:08:25,039 --> 00:08:27,506
HE'S SORT OF AN INFERIOR
PRODUCT OF NATURE.
127
00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:29,041
GENES ARE VULNERABLE
128
00:08:29,043 --> 00:08:31,376
TO A VARIETY
OF OUTSIDE INFLUENCES --
129
00:08:31,378 --> 00:08:34,779
TO RADIATION,
CHEMICALS, STRESS.
130
00:08:34,781 --> 00:08:36,849
ON THE OTHER HAND,
CERTAIN INSECTS --
131
00:08:36,851 --> 00:08:38,717
THE COMMON ROACH,
FOR INSTANCE --
132
00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:41,053
ARE VERY RESISTANT
TO MUTATION.
133
00:08:41,055 --> 00:08:47,325
NOW, IF WE COULD CROSS-BREED
A HUMAN WITH A ROACH,
134
00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:48,993
THEN WE WOULD
HAVE A SPECIES
135
00:08:48,995 --> 00:08:53,666
THAT COULD LAST
FOR, UH, 10 BILLION YEARS!
136
00:09:01,075 --> 00:09:05,410
IT IS NOW ACCEPTED, AS WE FIT THE PIECES TOGETHER,
137
00:09:05,412 --> 00:09:07,412
THAT THE ENTIRE UNPLEASANTNESS
138
00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:10,282
WAS THE FAULT OF THIS BECKER PERSON,
139
00:09:10,284 --> 00:09:13,418
AND THAT THE CATASTROPHE FOUND ITS BEGINNINGS,
140
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:14,819
AS SO MANY DO,
141
00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:17,756
IN THE MOST CASUAL INNOCENT REMARK,
142
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:22,361
IN THIS CASE, A SMALL ARTICLE IN THE NEW YORK TIMES.
143
00:09:22,363 --> 00:09:24,229
GOOD MORNING, GENTLEMEN.
144
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:26,765
NOW, SEE WHAT YOU
CAN DO WITH THIS HERE.
145
00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:30,235
GALLUP SAYS THAT
OVER 60% OF AMERICANS
146
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:33,238
NOW FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT
THERE ARE EXTRATERRESTRIALS
147
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,574
OUT THERE SOMEWHERE
TRYING TO CONTACT US.
148
00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:38,443
OH, RIGHT. I LOVE IT.
149
00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:41,246
ANYBODY?
150
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:43,181
ERIC? ARAM?
151
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:45,650
WE COULD GIVE THEM...
152
00:09:45,652 --> 00:09:48,020
WHAT THEY WANT.
153
00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:51,856
I THINK I GOT ONE.
154
00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:54,058
NO, I THINK I GOT
A GOOD ONE.
155
00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:55,794
WHAT?
156
00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:58,196
YOU'RE GONNA LIKE THIS.
157
00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:03,668
WHAT IF A SPACESHIP LANDS,
158
00:10:03,670 --> 00:10:07,071
AN EXTRATERRESTRIAL
STEPS OUT.
159
00:10:07,073 --> 00:10:09,207
WHAT HAPPENS?
WHAT IS IT?
160
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:12,077
WHAT HAPPENS, AND WHAT IS
THE EFFECT ON THE POPULATION?
161
00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:14,947
PANIC? IS IT HYSTERIA?
IS IT DEPRESSION?
162
00:10:14,949 --> 00:10:20,152
MASS SUICIDE? IS IT WAR?
IS IT THE END OF WAR?
163
00:10:20,154 --> 00:10:23,155
IS IT RELIGIOUS REVIVALS?
YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING?
164
00:10:23,157 --> 00:10:24,889
WE COULD FIND OUT.
165
00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:26,291
HOW?
FAKE IT.
166
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,693
FAKE IT? HOW?
167
00:10:28,695 --> 00:10:30,495
ALL YOU NEED
IS THE RIGHT ORPHAN.
168
00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:32,631
AN ORPHAN? WHY DO
YOU NEED AN ORPHAN?
169
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:34,299
BECAUSE AN
EXTRATERRESTRIAL, ERIC,
170
00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:36,901
MUST NOT BE TRACEABLE
TO EARTH-BORN PARENTS.
171
00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:38,637
I LIKE THIS, LEON.
172
00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:41,039
IT HAS TEXTURE
AND SCOPE.
173
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:43,308
ALL RIGHT.
NOW WE FIND OUR ORPHAN.
174
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:46,110
FIND A LITTLE ORPHAN,
DO A LITTLE JOB ON HIM.
175
00:10:46,112 --> 00:10:48,913
Man:
A FEW CHANGES HERE AND THERE --
BLOOD, THE VARIOUS FLUIDS.
176
00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:51,049
I HAVE A THOUGHT
ABOUT A PRIMAL TRAUMA!
177
00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:53,786
AT THE END OF ALL THIS,
THE COUNTRY DISCOVERS
178
00:10:53,788 --> 00:10:57,856
E.T. HAS BEEN LIVING
RIGHT AMONG THEM ALL ALONG!
179
00:10:57,858 --> 00:10:59,324
INCREDIBLE.
180
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:02,127
LET'S GET DORIS IN ON THIS.
HELLO, DORIS.
181
00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,862
Doris:
YES, DR. BECKER?
182
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:05,263
HOW ARE YOU, DORIS?
183
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:07,132
HOW AM I? I'M PERFECT. YOU KNOW THAT.
184
00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:10,735
LET ME SEE WHAT YOU CAN FIND
ON A WHITE AMERICAN MALE,
185
00:11:10,737 --> 00:11:14,006
BETWEEN THE AGES
OF 25 AND 40,
186
00:11:14,008 --> 00:11:18,276
AN ORPHAN WHOSE PARENTS
ARE UNTRACEABLE. URBAN.
187
00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:20,813
JUST A MINUTE. I'M SEARCHING.
188
00:11:20,815 --> 00:11:26,151
YEAH, HE'S COMING. I CAN FEEL IT.
189
00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:30,355
HOW ABOUT AN ASSISTANT PROFESSOR OF PSYCHOLOGY --
190
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,491
SIMON MENDELSSOHN?
191
00:11:32,493 --> 00:11:33,892
HE'S PERFECT.
192
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:36,762
[ WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYS ]
193
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:49,241
OKAY, STAY WITH ME NOW,
BECAUSE THIS IS REALLY GREAT.
194
00:11:49,243 --> 00:11:51,976
NUCLEAR ROCKETS,
HUGE ONES, HUNDREDS OF THEM,
195
00:11:51,978 --> 00:11:53,512
ON ONE SIDE OF THE WORLD --
196
00:11:53,514 --> 00:11:56,515
AND WHEN THE PLANET RUNS OUT
OF FOOD AND AIR AND WATER,
197
00:11:56,517 --> 00:11:58,917
WHICH IT WILL, PROBABLY,
WHAT DO WE DO?
198
00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:02,221
HUH? ANYBODY.
199
00:12:04,458 --> 00:12:06,391
WHAT DO WE DO?
200
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:08,593
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT WE DO.
201
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:12,197
WE TURN THE PLANET
INTO A SPACE SHIP,
202
00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:13,998
AND WE MOVE
TO ANOTHER SOLAR SYSTEM
203
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,601
WHERE THERE IS FOOD
AND WATER AND AIR.
204
00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:19,003
IT CAN HAPPEN.
ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.
205
00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:20,873
DARE TO DREAM.
206
00:12:20,875 --> 00:12:22,407
USE THE RIGHT SIDE
OF YOUR BRAINS --
207
00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:25,544
INTUITION, IMAGINATION,
DREAMS, UNCERTAINTY.
208
00:12:25,546 --> 00:12:29,614
REMEMBER WE TALKED ABOUT
THE UNCERTAINTY PRINCIPLE?
209
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:31,015
WELL, HEISENBERG IS PREDATED
210
00:12:31,017 --> 00:12:32,885
A THOUSAND YEARS
BY THE ZEN POETS --
211
00:12:32,887 --> 00:12:35,554
A THOUSAND YEARS!
212
00:12:35,556 --> 00:12:38,657
YOU CAN CHANGE
THE WORLD WITH AN IDEA.
213
00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:43,028
BUT YOU HAVE TO THINK
OF THE IDEA FIRST.
214
00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:49,101
YEAH -- HA HA HA.
LISTEN.
215
00:12:49,103 --> 00:12:51,770
WITTGENSTEIN SAID --
LISTEN TO THIS --
216
00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:55,708
"I DO NOT KNOW
WHAT I DO NOT KNOW."
217
00:12:55,710 --> 00:12:59,111
HUH? IS THAT FANTASTIC?
218
00:12:59,113 --> 00:13:01,846
"I DO NOT KNOW WHAT" --
219
00:13:01,848 --> 00:13:03,248
YES, PAM. WHAT IS IT?
220
00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:06,819
UH, IS THIS GOING
TO BE ON THE FINAL?
221
00:13:08,723 --> 00:13:11,256
DORIS WAS RIGHT.
HE'S PERFECT.
222
00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:13,125
WE'RE GOING TO NEED
A FEW PERSONAL DETAILS
223
00:13:13,127 --> 00:13:14,927
FROM HIS EARLY CHILDHOOD.
224
00:13:14,929 --> 00:13:16,395
I NEED FRESH SAMPLES
225
00:13:16,397 --> 00:13:19,264
OF HIS THREE MAJOR
BODILY FLUIDS.
226
00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:22,000
Lisa: I NEVER HEARD OF
A SENSORY-DEPRIVATION TANK.
227
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:24,536
Simon: IT'S COMPLETELY SAFE,
LISA. STOP WORRYING.
228
00:13:24,538 --> 00:13:26,605
WHAT IS THIS?
LOOKS LIKE A COFFIN.
229
00:13:26,607 --> 00:13:28,807
VERY GOOD. IT'S THE CRATE
A COFFIN COMES IN.
230
00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:30,075
I GOT IT FROM
JERRY EPSTEIN'S UNCLE,
231
00:13:30,077 --> 00:13:32,144
WHO DRIVES A HEARSE
FOR FRANKIE CAMPBELL'S.
232
00:13:32,146 --> 00:13:35,614
SIMON, I DON'T WANT TO
SAY ANYTHING THAT ISN'T
TOTALLY SUPPORTIVE.
THEN DON'T.
233
00:13:35,616 --> 00:13:37,616
EXCEPT DO YOU REMEMBER
WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME
234
00:13:37,618 --> 00:13:38,817
WITH THE PEYOTE?
235
00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:40,352
NOTHING HAPPENED
WITH THE PEYOTE.
236
00:13:40,354 --> 00:13:41,954
YOU THREW UP
FOR FIVE DAYS!
237
00:13:41,956 --> 00:13:43,956
YOU WERE DIZZY,
YOU MISSED YOUR CLASS,
238
00:13:43,958 --> 00:13:46,024
YOU MADE SOUNDS
LIKE A WOLF HOWLING.
239
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:48,026
THREE DAYS IS A COMPLETELY
NORMAL SIDE EFFECT,
240
00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:50,295
AND THIS HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH THAT.
241
00:13:50,297 --> 00:13:52,564
SIMON, ONE DAY YOU'RE
GONNA MAKE ONE OF THESE
242
00:13:52,566 --> 00:13:54,032
WONDERFUL SCIENTIFIC LEAPS,
243
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:55,233
AND I'M NOT GONNA
BE ABLE TO CATCH YOU.
244
00:13:55,235 --> 00:13:56,901
VERY NICE. VERY POETIC.
245
00:13:56,903 --> 00:13:58,570
DO ME A FAVOR. HAND ME
THE PHILLIPS HEAD SCREWDRIVER.
246
00:13:58,572 --> 00:14:00,905
YOU'RE A BRILLIANT MAN.
YOU COULD MAKE A CONTRIBUTION.
247
00:14:00,907 --> 00:14:02,440
WHAT DO YOU WANT
TO LIE IN A COFFIN
248
00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:04,643
FROM JERRY EPSTEIN'S
UNCLE FOR?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
249
00:14:04,645 --> 00:14:06,979
THIS IS THE GREATEST
SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH TOOL
250
00:14:06,981 --> 00:14:08,847
SINCE THE INVENTION
OF THE MICROSCOPE, LISA!
251
00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:10,915
SINCE THE MICROSCOPE!
252
00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:12,116
SAYS WHO?
253
00:14:12,118 --> 00:14:14,319
SAYS EVERYBODY. ME.
254
00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:15,788
IS THIS
YOUR MATTRESS HERE?
255
00:14:15,790 --> 00:14:19,257
YES, IT IS. IT'S A NEW FIELD,
LISA. I'M A PIONEER.
256
00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:22,594
YOU EVER SEE FARADAY'S LAB,
OR FERMI'S, OR MADAME CURIE'S?
257
00:14:22,596 --> 00:14:25,464
OR THE ATOMIC PILE
AT THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO?
258
00:14:25,466 --> 00:14:27,732
FLIMSY STUFF --
IT'S ALL JERRY-BUILT.
259
00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:31,269
ALL RIGHT. LISTEN --
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO
DO WITH YOUR RED SHIRT?
260
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:32,537
WHAT?
261
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:35,340
THE RED SHIRT THAT CAME BACK
MANGLED FROM THE LAUNDRY.
262
00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:38,010
LISA, STOP PLAYING HOUSE!
I'M ON THE VERGE HERE!
263
00:14:38,012 --> 00:14:40,679
THIS IS GONNA
DO IT FOR ME!
REALLY?
264
00:14:40,681 --> 00:14:42,147
YEAH! IT'S INCREDIBLE!
265
00:14:42,149 --> 00:14:43,615
A GUY NAMED JOHN LILY
INVENTED IT.
266
00:14:43,617 --> 00:14:45,217
HERE. LOOK AT THIS.
267
00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:48,353
A SIMPLE TANK
FILLED WITH WATER.
268
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:50,823
YOU GET IN.
YOU FLOAT THERE.
269
00:14:50,825 --> 00:14:53,291
NO LIGHT, NO SOUND, NO FEELING
OF GRAVITY -- NOTHING.
270
00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:55,293
THE BRAIN IS DEPRIVED
OF ALL SENSORY INPUT,
271
00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:57,295
SO IT STARTS
TO TURN IN ON ITSELF.
272
00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:59,297
YOU GET DISORIENTED.
YOU GET AFRAID.
273
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:01,900
YOU START TO PANIC.
MASSIVE ANXIETY ENSUES.
274
00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:03,968
IF YOU'RE LUCKY,
YOU EVEN HALLUCINATE.
275
00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:06,304
THE BRAIN
EXAMINING ITSELF, LISA!
276
00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:08,173
HI, SIMON.
277
00:15:08,175 --> 00:15:10,275
JOSH, YOU GOT IT.
GREAT.
278
00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:13,778
WHAT IS THAT?
IT LOOKS ELECTRIC.
279
00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:16,581
HI, LISA. E.E.G. I COPPED IT
FROM THE PRIMATE LAB.
280
00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:18,783
SIMON, YOU SHOULDN'T
STEAL EQUIPMENT.
281
00:15:18,785 --> 00:15:21,319
OH, NO? HARVEY STOLE CADAVERS
FROM THE CEMETERY.
282
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:24,589
HARVEY MILLSTEIN FROM
THE ECONOMICS DEPARTMENT?
283
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,392
HARVEY.
SIR WILLIAM HARVEY.
284
00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:29,594
CIRCULATION
OF THE BLOOD -- 1628!
285
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:32,264
IT WAS A JOKE, SIMON.
LIGHTEN UP.
286
00:15:32,266 --> 00:15:33,932
LISA, GO GET
A CUP OF COFFEE.
287
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:35,534
I DON'T WANT A CUP OF COFFEE.
ALL RIGHT.
288
00:15:35,536 --> 00:15:37,202
I'LL GET A CUP OF COFFEE.
I'LL PICK YOU UP LATER, OKAY?
289
00:15:37,204 --> 00:15:38,671
YEAH.
WHAT TIME?
290
00:15:38,673 --> 00:15:40,205
MONDAY.
291
00:15:40,207 --> 00:15:42,541
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "MONDAY"?
THIS IS THURSDAY.
292
00:15:42,543 --> 00:15:44,209
RIGHT.
293
00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:45,810
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"RIGHT"?
294
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:47,746
ARE YOU GONNA LIE
IN THIS THING FOR THREE DAYS?
295
00:15:47,748 --> 00:15:49,081
YOU WILL DISSOLVE.
296
00:15:49,083 --> 00:15:51,216
I WON'T DISSOLVE.
IT'S ONLY 80 HOURS.
297
00:15:51,218 --> 00:15:54,086
SIMON, I DON'T WANT TO HAVE
TO FILL OUT A LOT OF FORMS.
298
00:15:54,088 --> 00:15:58,022
DO YOU OR DO YOU NOT
WANT ME TO WIN A NOBEL PRIZE?
299
00:15:58,024 --> 00:16:01,226
YES, IF YOU WEAR THAT
TO THE CEREMONY.
300
00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:03,428
OKAY. LET'S RUN THE LIST.
301
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:05,430
SIMON, ARE YOU SURE
ABOUT THIS THING?
302
00:16:05,432 --> 00:16:07,299
WHY IS IT
I'M THE LAST ONE TO KNOW?
303
00:16:07,301 --> 00:16:08,833
THE YAKAMURAS
ARE COMING TO DINNER.
304
00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:11,303
SWEETIE, EVERYTHING'S
COMPLETELY UNDER CONTROL.
305
00:16:11,305 --> 00:16:14,306
MM-HMM. AND I'VE GOT A DUCK
DEFROSTING IN THE SINK.
306
00:16:14,308 --> 00:16:16,909
SHH.
307
00:16:16,911 --> 00:16:18,643
OKAY.
308
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,512
[ DEVICE BEEPING ]
309
00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:24,849
JOSH, WHAT'S THE LONG --
310
00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:26,251
SHH!
311
00:16:26,253 --> 00:16:28,253
What's the longest
312
00:16:28,255 --> 00:16:31,056
anybody ever stayed
in one of these things?
313
00:16:34,261 --> 00:16:37,462
Robert Willer up at Stanford
did about 50 hours.
314
00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:41,065
50? He said
he's gonna do 80.
315
00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:44,336
It could be
a major breakthrough.
316
00:16:44,338 --> 00:16:47,339
Well, what happened to this guy
from Stanford? Was he okay?
317
00:16:47,341 --> 00:16:48,740
Sure.
318
00:16:48,742 --> 00:16:52,277
Aside from some
libido-energy blockage
319
00:16:52,279 --> 00:16:54,813
and subsequent
ego-projection fantasies.
320
00:16:54,815 --> 00:16:57,482
What are you talking about?
What happened?
321
00:16:57,484 --> 00:17:00,619
Well, when he came out,
he was convinced
322
00:17:00,621 --> 00:17:04,089
he'd turned into
a 6-foot-tall penis named Bob.
323
00:17:04,091 --> 00:17:07,426
Other than that,
he's perfectly normal.
324
00:17:07,428 --> 00:17:09,328
OH, MY GOD.
325
00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:15,500
THAT WAS THE MOST INCREDIBLE
EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE.
326
00:17:15,502 --> 00:17:18,170
HOW LONG WAS I IN,
THE FULL 80?
327
00:17:18,172 --> 00:17:20,505
ABOUT 63 SECONDS.
328
00:17:20,507 --> 00:17:22,240
63 SECONDS?
ARE YOU SURE?
329
00:17:22,242 --> 00:17:24,576
MY GOD. I MUST BE ALL KEYED UP.
OKAY, LET'S TRY IT AGAIN.
330
00:17:24,578 --> 00:17:26,779
WHOA, SIMON. I THINK
YOU'D BETTER GET UP.
331
00:17:26,781 --> 00:17:28,113
GET THE, UH --
332
00:17:28,115 --> 00:17:30,315
DON'T TOUCH THAT PUMP!
IT'S NOT GROUNDED!
333
00:17:30,317 --> 00:17:32,317
NO, SIMON.
[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]
334
00:17:32,319 --> 00:17:34,386
PULL THE PLUG!
OOH!
335
00:17:34,388 --> 00:17:37,055
SIMON,
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
336
00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:41,593
I GOT TO GET A GRANT.
337
00:17:53,139 --> 00:17:54,606
EXCUSE ME.
338
00:17:54,608 --> 00:17:58,610
YOU MUST BE
SIMON MENDELSSOHN.
339
00:17:58,612 --> 00:18:00,679
YOU ARE. AM I RIGHT?
340
00:18:00,681 --> 00:18:02,014
YES?
341
00:18:02,016 --> 00:18:04,082
I'D LIKE
TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.
342
00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:05,550
I'M CARL BECKER,
343
00:18:05,552 --> 00:18:08,120
AND I THINK YOU MAY BE
AN AUTHENTIC GENIUS.
344
00:18:25,639 --> 00:18:28,107
BYE.
345
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,227
I SEE JUMANSKE
IS DOING
346
00:19:22,229 --> 00:19:24,362
SOME INTERESTING
THINGS WITH NEUTRINOS.
347
00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:26,498
I HEARD FROM KIERLOV.
348
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:30,435
HE SAYS HE'S THREE MONTHS
FROM A UNIFIED FIELD THEORY.
349
00:19:30,437 --> 00:19:34,707
Hundertwasser: POOR KIERLOV.
ALWAYS PREMATURE.
350
00:19:34,709 --> 00:19:36,174
AND MISHA.
351
00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:38,811
OH, DON'T EVEN
MENTION MISHA.
352
00:19:41,115 --> 00:19:43,448
LARGE MYLAR REFLECTORS --
353
00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:47,920
ABOUT FIVE MILES SQUARE,
LAUNCHED FROM ROCKETS.
354
00:19:47,922 --> 00:19:49,454
WHAT?
355
00:19:49,456 --> 00:19:51,523
REFLECTORS
IN SYNCHRONOUS ORBIT,
356
00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:55,794
22,000 MILES OVER NEBRASKA.
357
00:19:55,796 --> 00:19:57,529
WHY?
358
00:19:57,531 --> 00:20:00,398
24-HOUR-A-DAY
SUNLIGHT, RIGHT?
359
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,267
CONTINUOUS
GROWING CYCLE.
360
00:20:02,269 --> 00:20:04,336
TWICE AS MUCH CORN.
361
00:20:04,338 --> 00:20:06,338
VERY PRETTY.
VERY PRETTY.
362
00:20:06,340 --> 00:20:08,873
YOU SHOULD MAKE OUT
SOME EQUATIONS.
363
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,943
OH, BLADES.
364
00:20:10,945 --> 00:20:12,210
SIR?
365
00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:14,212
IS IT THE LATAGE?
366
00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:16,148
IT IS, SIR -- THE '17.
367
00:20:16,150 --> 00:20:17,349
IT HAS A LOVELY NOSE.
368
00:20:17,351 --> 00:20:20,218
THANK YOU, SIR.
369
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:23,288
OH, I DO SO DISLIKE
THE '68.
370
00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:25,023
IT'S SO PUSHY.
371
00:20:25,025 --> 00:20:27,960
YEAH, I HATE IT.
372
00:20:27,962 --> 00:20:30,763
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY
THIS, DR. BECKER, BUT --
373
00:20:30,765 --> 00:20:32,897
CARL, PLEASE. CARL.
374
00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:36,835
ALL MY LIFE I'VE HOPED
THAT MAYBE SOMEDAY...
375
00:20:36,837 --> 00:20:41,440
AND NOW THIS, AND YOU,
AND THOSE GUYS.
376
00:20:41,442 --> 00:20:42,775
MY GOD,
THEY'RE ALL SO BRILLIANT,
377
00:20:42,777 --> 00:20:46,044
AND THAT INDIAN GUY
WITH THE MYLAR REFLECTORS?
378
00:20:46,046 --> 00:20:47,712
I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.
379
00:20:47,714 --> 00:20:49,381
BARUNDI?
HE WAS JUST SHOWING OFF.
380
00:20:49,383 --> 00:20:50,783
OH, YEAH? FOR WHO?
381
00:20:50,785 --> 00:20:52,917
YOU, OF COURSE.
382
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:57,589
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
I'M -- I'M SPEECHLESS.
383
00:20:57,591 --> 00:21:00,258
HERE IT IS, SIMON.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
384
00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:01,794
WHAT DO I THINK?
385
00:21:01,796 --> 00:21:03,796
YOU SAW WHAT THEY
GAVE ME AT SCHOOL --
386
00:21:03,798 --> 00:21:05,664
THAT LITTLE CLOSET
IN THE BASEMENT.
387
00:21:05,666 --> 00:21:07,932
ANYTHING YOU WANT, SIMON,
JUST REQUISITION IT --
388
00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:10,002
FROM A PAPER CLIP
TO A MICROSCOPE.
389
00:21:10,004 --> 00:21:13,238
THE ONLY LIMIT
IS YOUR OWN IMAGINATION.
390
00:21:18,612 --> 00:21:22,414
I-I DON'T KNOW.
I'M...I'M...
391
00:21:22,416 --> 00:21:25,750
I'M WITHOUT THE ABILITY --
I CAN'T, UH --
392
00:21:25,752 --> 00:21:27,486
I...I...
393
00:21:27,488 --> 00:21:30,489
WE KNOW YOU'RE GOING
TO DO SOME WONDERFUL WORK.
394
00:21:30,491 --> 00:21:33,158
WELL, I'LL CERTAINLY --
I'LL DO EVERY --
395
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:36,294
I'LL MAKE --
I'D LIKE TO --
396
00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:40,899
[ SPEAKING FARSI ]
397
00:21:40,901 --> 00:21:42,835
EXCUSE ME?
398
00:21:42,837 --> 00:21:44,503
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
399
00:21:44,505 --> 00:21:46,171
HOW DO YOU DO?
400
00:21:46,173 --> 00:21:47,439
HELLO.
401
00:21:47,441 --> 00:21:49,107
SO GLAD.
CYNTHIA MALLORY.
SIMON MENDELSSOHN.
402
00:21:49,109 --> 00:21:52,777
DR. MALLORY
IS ON THE STAFF.
OH, GOOD.
403
00:21:52,779 --> 00:21:55,514
HAS EXPRESSED AN INTEREST
IN WORKING WITH YOU.
404
00:21:55,516 --> 00:21:57,049
OH, THAT'S NOT --
405
00:21:57,051 --> 00:21:59,184
I NEED SOMEBODY WITH
A VERY ECLECTIC BACKGROUND --
406
00:21:59,186 --> 00:22:01,786
A SOLID FOUNDATION,
ALL THE SCIENCES,
407
00:22:01,788 --> 00:22:04,857
LITERATURE AND PHILOSOPHY --
WHAT'S YOUR FIELD?
408
00:22:04,859 --> 00:22:07,192
WELL, I HAVE AN MD
FROM JOHNS HOPKINS,
409
00:22:07,194 --> 00:22:10,328
A PhD FROM CAMBRIDGE
IN BEHAVIORAL PSYCHOLOGY,
410
00:22:10,330 --> 00:22:12,264
MASTERS FROM THE SORBONNE
411
00:22:12,266 --> 00:22:14,466
IN CONTEMPORARY
FRENCH LITERATURE...
OH, MY GOD.
412
00:22:14,468 --> 00:22:16,334
PARTICULARLY THE ABSURDISTS --
SARTRE, CAMUS.
413
00:22:16,336 --> 00:22:18,603
YES, I READ MANY --
414
00:22:18,605 --> 00:22:21,740
MY UNDERGRADUATE WORK
WAS COMPLETED AT SWARTHMORE --
415
00:22:21,742 --> 00:22:23,942
TWO YEARS,
SUMMA CUM LAUDE.
416
00:22:23,944 --> 00:22:26,144
MON DIEU.
417
00:22:26,146 --> 00:22:27,746
YES.
418
00:22:27,748 --> 00:22:31,216
I'VE WORKED
WITH KIPLINGER IN VIENNA,
419
00:22:31,218 --> 00:22:34,219
OLAFSSON IN STOCKHOLM,
EPSTEIN IN GENEVA.
YES.
420
00:22:34,221 --> 00:22:37,355
OF COURSE, YOU'RE FAMILIAR
WITH HIS WORK ON PINEAL GLAND
421
00:22:37,357 --> 00:22:39,491
BIORHYTHMS AND ACETAL
TRANSFERASE ACTIVITY
422
00:22:39,493 --> 00:22:41,493
IN CHICKENS AND RATS.
423
00:22:41,495 --> 00:22:43,562
YES, EPSTEIN AND RATS
AND CHICKENS.
424
00:22:43,564 --> 00:22:47,099
MY NEW BOOK, ENTITLED
"A COMPREHENSIVE HISTORY
425
00:22:47,101 --> 00:22:49,834
OF ORAL SEX TECHNIQUES" --
ILLUSTRATED --
426
00:22:49,836 --> 00:22:51,836
HAS ALREADY BEEN
PROCLAIMED A MASTERPIECE
427
00:22:51,838 --> 00:22:54,573
BY BOTH NORMAN MAILER
AND BESS MEYERSON,
428
00:22:54,575 --> 00:22:58,377
AND HAS AN ADVANCED PRINTING
OF 100,000 COPIES.
429
00:23:00,647 --> 00:23:02,447
WHO'S YOUR PUBLISHER?
430
00:23:02,449 --> 00:23:03,782
KNOPF.
431
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:09,822
LET'S TRY IT OUT --
TRY IT OUT FOR A WEEK.
432
00:23:12,859 --> 00:23:17,396
I'M WORKING ON WHAT I CALL
A GENERAL THEORY OF CREATIVITY.
433
00:23:17,398 --> 00:23:20,132
REALLY?
JUST LIKE ALBERT EINSTEIN.
434
00:23:20,134 --> 00:23:22,400
I BELIEVE THAT INSIDE
OF EVERYBODY -- EVERYBODY --
435
00:23:22,402 --> 00:23:24,469
IS A GENIUS
WAITING TO BE RELEASED.
436
00:23:24,471 --> 00:23:26,471
THE SECRET IS,
YOU GOT TO GET YOURSELF
437
00:23:26,473 --> 00:23:28,473
INTO A CHAOTIC ENOUGH
MENTAL STATE.
438
00:23:28,475 --> 00:23:30,208
THEN THE GOOD MATERIAL
CAN BREAK THROUGH
439
00:23:30,210 --> 00:23:31,810
FROM THE UNCONSCIOUS.
440
00:23:31,812 --> 00:23:33,011
WELL, HOW DO YOU
ACCOMPLISH THIS?
441
00:23:33,013 --> 00:23:35,814
OH, ANY WAY YOU CAN --
CHEMICALS, SLEEP LOSS,
442
00:23:35,816 --> 00:23:37,549
FASTING, DEEP-BREATHING.
443
00:23:37,551 --> 00:23:39,952
DID YOU KNOW THAT IF I
HYPERVENTILATE FOR 10 MINUTES,
444
00:23:39,954 --> 00:23:43,489
I REALLY DO SOME VERY
INTERESTING THINGS CREATIVELY.
445
00:23:55,770 --> 00:23:59,405
[ SINGING OPERA IN GERMAN ]
446
00:24:19,393 --> 00:24:21,794
WHERE YOU FELLOWS
MAY BE WRONG --
447
00:24:21,796 --> 00:24:23,796
AND YOU'LL FORGIVE ME
IF I THROW 500 YEARS
448
00:24:23,798 --> 00:24:25,730
OF SCIENCE OUT
THE WINDOW WITH THIS --
449
00:24:25,732 --> 00:24:28,200
IS WHAT IF
IT'S ALL SUBJECTIVE?
450
00:24:28,202 --> 00:24:30,735
I MEAN, THE UNIVERSE
CONTAINS NOT ONE TRUTH,
451
00:24:30,737 --> 00:24:32,671
BUT AN INFINITE
NUMBER OF TRUTHS, RIGHT?
452
00:24:32,673 --> 00:24:35,607
OKAY. FOLLOW ME.
453
00:24:35,609 --> 00:24:38,844
TAKE YOUR BLACK HOLE,
FOR EXAMPLE.
454
00:24:43,550 --> 00:24:45,950
YOUR BLACK HOLE
IS POPULAR NOW, I SUBMIT,
455
00:24:45,952 --> 00:24:48,020
BECAUSE WHAT YOU GOT
OUT THERE IS A BUNCH
456
00:24:48,022 --> 00:24:49,488
OF DEPRESSED SCIENTISTS.
457
00:24:49,490 --> 00:24:51,824
YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET ANY
HAPPY, WELL-ADJUSTED SCIENTISTS
458
00:24:51,826 --> 00:24:54,026
INVENTING A BIG OBJECT,
A BLACK THING,
459
00:24:54,028 --> 00:24:56,228
THAT SUCKS YOU
INTO A NOODLE-SHAPED OBJECT
460
00:24:56,230 --> 00:24:57,762
FIVE MILLION MILES LONG
461
00:24:57,764 --> 00:24:59,498
AND EATS YOU UP
IF YOU GET TOO CLOSE TO IT.
462
00:24:59,500 --> 00:25:03,235
[ SPITS ]
THINK ABOUT IT. HMM?
463
00:25:03,237 --> 00:25:05,570
VERY GOOD, SIMON.
464
00:25:05,572 --> 00:25:08,741
THANK YOU, BLADES.
VERY FRUITY.
465
00:25:10,177 --> 00:25:11,910
HOW'S HE DOING?
466
00:25:11,912 --> 00:25:13,712
HE THINKS HE'S
DOING JUST GREAT.
467
00:25:13,714 --> 00:25:15,380
IS HE WATCHING RIGHT NOW?
468
00:25:15,382 --> 00:25:17,016
HE'S WATCHING.
SMILE.
469
00:25:20,521 --> 00:25:21,986
IS HE RESISTING YOU?
470
00:25:21,988 --> 00:25:24,189
RESISTING?
WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?
471
00:25:24,191 --> 00:25:26,859
HE HAS THE PERFECT ENVIRONMENT,
THE PERFECT EQUIPMENT,
472
00:25:26,861 --> 00:25:30,062
THE PERFECT FANTASY,
THE PERFECT WOMAN. [ CHUCKLES ]
473
00:25:30,064 --> 00:25:32,797
I THINK WE CAN MOVE
AHEAD SWIFTLY NOW.
474
00:25:32,799 --> 00:25:34,533
Becker: THE KEY IS DEATH.
475
00:25:34,535 --> 00:25:36,669
IF YOU SPOKE OF DEATH A LOT,
476
00:25:36,671 --> 00:25:39,471
IT WOULD MAKE HIM SEXUALLY EXCITED.
477
00:25:39,473 --> 00:25:40,873
HE'S THAT TYPE.
478
00:25:40,875 --> 00:25:42,741
WE'RE DROWNING
IN A SEA OF FACTS.
479
00:25:42,743 --> 00:25:44,877
THE LEFT HALF
OF THE BRAIN IS RE-CREATING
480
00:25:44,879 --> 00:25:47,079
THE ENTIRE WORLD
IN ITS OWN IMAGE.
481
00:25:47,081 --> 00:25:49,414
I THINK THAT'S BETTER
THAN IF THE LIVER
482
00:25:49,416 --> 00:25:52,817
WAS RE-CREATING THE WORLD
IN ITS OWN IMAGE, OR THE KIDNEY.
483
00:25:52,819 --> 00:25:55,888
IF AN ORGAN IS GOING
TO RE-CREATE THE WORLD --
484
00:25:55,890 --> 00:25:58,090
THAT'S AN
INTERESTING THEORY.
485
00:25:58,092 --> 00:25:59,892
THAT'S QUITE BRILLIANT,
IN FACT.
486
00:25:59,894 --> 00:26:02,494
HOW DID YOU GET
SO BRILLIANT?
487
00:26:02,496 --> 00:26:04,496
MUST RUN IN THE FAMILY.
488
00:26:04,498 --> 00:26:06,164
OH, YES?
489
00:26:06,166 --> 00:26:09,768
YEAH. MY FATHER WAS THE MOST
BRILLIANT RESEARCH PHYSICIST
490
00:26:09,770 --> 00:26:12,437
ON THE ENTIRE
H-BOMB PROJECT --
491
00:26:12,439 --> 00:26:14,573
UNTIL THE ACCIDENT,
ANYWAY.
492
00:26:14,575 --> 00:26:16,641
WHAT ACCIDENT WAS THAT?
493
00:26:16,643 --> 00:26:18,443
WELL, HE WAS IN CHARGE
494
00:26:18,445 --> 00:26:21,313
OF THE FINAL ARMING
OF THE BOMB ON ANAWETAUK.
495
00:26:21,315 --> 00:26:22,915
OH, YES.
496
00:26:22,917 --> 00:26:25,584
APPARENTLY, HE FELL
ASLEEP IN THE TOWER.
497
00:26:25,586 --> 00:26:27,586
NO ONE KNEW ABOUT IT.
498
00:26:27,588 --> 00:26:30,455
THE DETONATION
WENT OFF ON SCHEDULE.
499
00:26:30,457 --> 00:26:31,924
YOU MEAN --
500
00:26:31,926 --> 00:26:35,460
YES. MY FATHER
WAS COMPLETELY VAPORIZED.
501
00:26:35,462 --> 00:26:37,395
MY GOD.
502
00:26:37,397 --> 00:26:38,797
DO YOU FIND THIS MORBID?
503
00:26:38,799 --> 00:26:41,500
I CERTAINLY DO.
PLEASE CONTINUE.
504
00:26:42,736 --> 00:26:44,436
MY GRANDFATHER
WAS A STUDENT
505
00:26:44,438 --> 00:26:48,140
UNDER THE GREAT RADIOLOGIST
WILHELM ROENTGEN IN MUNICH.OH, .
506
00:26:48,142 --> 00:26:51,009
TOGETHER THEY DISCOVERED
THAT IF YOU PLACE YOUR HAND
507
00:26:51,011 --> 00:26:53,278
IN FRONT
OF A PHOTOGRAPHIC PLATE
508
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:55,880
AND BOMBARD IT
WITH HIGH-INTENSITY X-RAYS
509
00:26:55,882 --> 00:26:58,016
THAT YOU CAN SEE
THE SKELETON UNDERNEATH.
510
00:26:58,018 --> 00:26:59,884
MM-HMM.
511
00:26:59,886 --> 00:27:04,356
IN 1901, WILHELM ROENTGEN
GOT THE NOBEL PRIZE.
512
00:27:04,358 --> 00:27:07,292
MY GRANDFATHER'S
HAND DROPPED OFF.
513
00:27:07,294 --> 00:27:08,894
OH, MY GOD.
514
00:27:11,632 --> 00:27:13,898
YEAH.
515
00:27:13,900 --> 00:27:17,235
THE LITTLE GUY
ALWAYS GETS THE SHAFT.
516
00:27:17,237 --> 00:27:18,971
IT'S SO TRUE.
517
00:27:24,044 --> 00:27:26,645
MY HUSBAND
WAS A PSYCHIATRIST.
518
00:27:26,647 --> 00:27:30,649
HE SPECIALIZED
IN CONTEMPORARY SUICIDE.
519
00:27:30,651 --> 00:27:32,651
WAS A PSYCHIATRIST?
520
00:27:32,653 --> 00:27:35,988
MM-HMM. ONE DAY HE TOOK
A BOTTLE OF SECONAL
521
00:27:35,990 --> 00:27:37,455
AND JUMPED OFF THE ROOF.
522
00:27:37,457 --> 00:27:40,258
OH, MY GOD. HE MUST
HAVE SUFFERED TERRIBLY.
523
00:27:40,260 --> 00:27:43,796
WELL, I FEEL THAT HE WAS
PROBABLY SLEEPING
524
00:27:43,798 --> 00:27:46,832
BY THE TIME HE PASSED
THE THIRD FLOOR.
525
00:27:51,605 --> 00:27:54,039
[ JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS ]
526
00:28:09,289 --> 00:28:12,257
[ SINGING OPERA IN ITALIAN ]
527
00:28:27,441 --> 00:28:29,808
[ PLAYS DISCORDANT NOTES ]
528
00:28:39,453 --> 00:28:42,354
[ SINGING OPERA ]
529
00:28:51,398 --> 00:28:54,833
[ VOCALIZING ]
530
00:29:08,348 --> 00:29:10,649
[ SINGING FADES ]
531
00:29:13,153 --> 00:29:14,819
DID YOU GET THE FLUIDS?
532
00:29:14,821 --> 00:29:16,421
DID YOU GET 'EM?
DID YOU GET 'EM?
533
00:29:16,423 --> 00:29:18,356
"DID YOU GET 'EM?
DID YOU GET 'EM?"
534
00:29:18,358 --> 00:29:20,759
[ CHUCKLES ]
ARE THEY FRESH?
535
00:29:20,761 --> 00:29:21,894
THEY'RE FRESH.
536
00:29:21,896 --> 00:29:24,229
YOU'RE A GENIUS.
537
00:29:24,231 --> 00:29:25,764
Van Dongen: DID YOU TELL
THE FATHER STORY?
YES.
538
00:29:25,766 --> 00:29:27,566
AND THE HUSBAND
ANECDOTES?
539
00:29:27,568 --> 00:29:29,033
YES, YES, YES.
540
00:29:29,035 --> 00:29:31,436
I DESIGNED THOSE
ANECDOTES SPECIFICALLY
541
00:29:31,438 --> 00:29:34,439
TO EXCITE HIM,
TO ENTHRALL HIM WITH YOU.
542
00:29:34,441 --> 00:29:36,040
HIS FEELINGS ABOUT ME
543
00:29:36,042 --> 00:29:37,709
ARE NOT BASED ON YOUR LITTLE
STORIES, I CAN ASSURE YOU.
544
00:29:37,711 --> 00:29:38,911
OH, REALLY?
545
00:29:38,913 --> 00:29:40,979
WELL, WHAT ARE THEY
BASED ON, THEN?
546
00:29:40,981 --> 00:29:42,981
SOMETHING I DO
WITH MY TONGUE.
547
00:29:46,052 --> 00:29:47,852
CYNTHIA,
THAT'S DISGUSTING.
548
00:29:47,854 --> 00:29:50,622
YES.
THAT'S WHY IT WORKS.
549
00:29:50,624 --> 00:29:52,056
BITCH. PIMP.
550
00:29:52,058 --> 00:29:53,926
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
LET'S JUST CALM DOWN.
551
00:29:53,928 --> 00:29:56,661
THIS SHOULD BE
A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT.
552
00:29:56,663 --> 00:29:58,530
ERIC,
WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS?
553
00:29:58,532 --> 00:30:02,334
WELL, CARL, I THINK THE NEW
TANK OF HIS IS THE KEY.
554
00:30:02,336 --> 00:30:04,536
SEE, MY FEELING IS,
WHAT HE'S SEARCHING FOR
555
00:30:04,538 --> 00:30:07,205
DURING THESE IMMERSIONS --
ALTHOUGH HE DOESN'T KNOW IT --
556
00:30:07,207 --> 00:30:08,673
IS HIS REAL MOTHER,
557
00:30:08,675 --> 00:30:10,809
THE ONE WHO ABANDONED HIM
WHEN HE WAS AN ORPHAN.
558
00:30:10,811 --> 00:30:12,745
SO THE NEXT TIME HE GETS
IN THE TANK,
559
00:30:12,747 --> 00:30:14,746
LEAVE HIM IN
FOR 200 HOURS!
560
00:30:14,748 --> 00:30:16,014
THAT'S OVER A WEEK.
561
00:30:16,016 --> 00:30:17,816
HIS BRAIN'S
GONNA TURN TO TAPIOCA.
562
00:30:17,818 --> 00:30:19,217
OH, I WOULDN'T THINK SO.
563
00:30:19,219 --> 00:30:20,685
IT'LL JUST MAKE HIM
VERY RECEPTIVE.
564
00:30:20,687 --> 00:30:22,087
TO WHAT?
565
00:30:22,089 --> 00:30:24,422
WE'RE GOING TO GIVE HIM
A WHOLE NEW BIRTH MEMORY.
566
00:30:24,424 --> 00:30:27,092
HAS IT GOT A RED LIGHT
AND A WHITE LIGHT? GOOD.
567
00:30:27,094 --> 00:30:29,894
SWEETHEART, YOU WANT TO CHECK
THE MONITOR HERE?
568
00:30:29,896 --> 00:30:31,764
SEE IF THE TWO THINGS
ARE GOING
569
00:30:31,766 --> 00:30:33,898
WITH THE TWO OTHER THINGS
WITH THE LIGHTS.
570
00:30:33,900 --> 00:30:35,367
YEAH, IT'S FINE.
571
00:30:35,369 --> 00:30:39,437
THIS IS A TEST RUN,
SO GET ME OUT IN AN HOUR, OKAY?
572
00:30:39,439 --> 00:30:40,839
LET'S PLUG IN.
573
00:30:43,644 --> 00:30:45,778
[ BEEPING ]
574
00:30:45,780 --> 00:30:48,447
TERRIFIC.
HOOD, PLEASE.
575
00:30:51,585 --> 00:30:53,585
OKAY, ONE SECOND.
576
00:30:53,587 --> 00:30:56,588
[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]
577
00:30:56,590 --> 00:30:58,090
OKAY.
578
00:31:03,798 --> 00:31:06,799
Simon: HELLO, HELLO, HELLO. CAN YOU READ ME OUT THERE?
579
00:31:09,470 --> 00:31:12,204
I HOPE YOU'RE TAKING GOOD NOTES OUT THERE.
580
00:31:13,874 --> 00:31:18,743
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. A, B, C. HELLO, HELLO.
581
00:31:18,745 --> 00:31:21,613
[ INHALES SHARPLY ] OKAY.
582
00:31:21,615 --> 00:31:24,016
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
I'M INSIDE THE TANK.
583
00:31:24,018 --> 00:31:26,685
IT'S VERY, VERY INTERESTING.
584
00:31:26,687 --> 00:31:30,289
WATER TEMPERATURE IS...
585
00:31:35,162 --> 00:31:36,428
[ SNORING ]
586
00:31:36,430 --> 00:31:39,231
[ Slurred speech ]
HELLO.
587
00:31:39,233 --> 00:31:40,765
HELLO...
588
00:31:40,767 --> 00:31:43,569
HELLO, BABY...
589
00:31:48,709 --> 00:31:50,709
OH, WEIRD SHOES.
590
00:31:50,711 --> 00:31:53,045
A THOUSAND PARDONS, SIRE.
591
00:31:53,047 --> 00:31:56,382
I AM BUT A HUMBLE SERF.
[ GROANS ]
592
00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:05,990
I HAVE SPOKEN WITH EURIPIDES, AND HE SAYS...
593
00:32:05,992 --> 00:32:08,660
AHH...
594
00:32:08,662 --> 00:32:10,929
AHH...
595
00:32:10,931 --> 00:32:13,532
[ SNORING ]
596
00:32:17,204 --> 00:32:20,239
[ GURGLING ]
597
00:32:24,611 --> 00:32:26,078
[ SPLASHING ]
598
00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:27,946
OH! SNAKE!
599
00:32:32,953 --> 00:32:35,988
[ SNORING ]
600
00:32:44,298 --> 00:32:46,030
OKAY, OPEN IT UP.
601
00:32:46,032 --> 00:32:47,700
BUT IT'S ONLY 197 HOURS.
602
00:32:47,702 --> 00:32:49,568
GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD.
603
00:33:31,878 --> 00:33:33,078
WHAT'S HE DOING?
604
00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:35,080
Barundi:
HE'S REGRESSED COMPLETELY.
605
00:33:35,082 --> 00:33:37,149
REGRESSED TO WHERE?
INFANCY?
606
00:33:37,151 --> 00:33:39,417
NO, FARTHER THAN THAT.
607
00:33:39,419 --> 00:33:42,754
ABOUT 500 MILLION YEARS.
608
00:33:42,756 --> 00:33:44,823
EVERY HUMAN BRAIN
CARRIES THE MEMORY
609
00:33:44,825 --> 00:33:46,558
OF OUR EVOLUTION.
610
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:49,762
HE'S BEEN THROUGH THE ENTIRE
EVOLUTIONARY CHAIN.
611
00:33:49,764 --> 00:33:52,231
HE HAS TO FIND
HIS WAY BACK.
612
00:33:53,500 --> 00:33:58,903
NOW, SEE,
HE'S A TINY SEA ORGANISM.
613
00:33:58,905 --> 00:33:59,972
PLANKTON.
614
00:33:59,974 --> 00:34:01,373
Van Dongen:
WHAT'S HE DOING NOW?
615
00:34:01,375 --> 00:34:02,841
Man:
THAT'S A JELLYFISH.
616
00:34:02,843 --> 00:34:04,476
A JELLYFISH.
617
00:34:16,791 --> 00:34:18,590
AND LOOK AT THAT, CARL.
618
00:34:18,592 --> 00:34:23,195
WE'VE GOT FLIPPERS
AND FINS HERE.
619
00:34:23,197 --> 00:34:25,331
NOW HE'S STARTING TO SWIM.
620
00:34:44,418 --> 00:34:46,218
[ MONKEY CHATTER ]
621
00:35:15,049 --> 00:35:17,182
[ EPIC MUSIC PLAYS ]
622
00:35:28,995 --> 00:35:32,064
NOW HE'S TRYING
TO WALK ERECT.
623
00:35:32,066 --> 00:35:34,867
HEY, THAT'S
AUSTRALOPITHECINE!
624
00:35:34,869 --> 00:35:37,269
THAT'S PITHECANTHROPUS!
625
00:35:37,271 --> 00:35:39,872
JAVA MAN!
626
00:35:39,874 --> 00:35:42,607
HOMO ERECTUS!
627
00:35:42,609 --> 00:35:45,744
OH, HE'S DISCOVERED
HIS OWN SEXUALITY.
628
00:35:49,283 --> 00:35:51,517
[ SPEAKING GIBBERISH ]
629
00:35:55,756 --> 00:35:57,756
WHERE MY HOLE?
630
00:35:59,093 --> 00:36:01,426
WHERE MY HOLE?
631
00:36:01,428 --> 00:36:03,562
[ SPEAKING GIBBERISH ]
632
00:36:08,635 --> 00:36:10,835
HE'S INVENTING LANGUAGE!
633
00:36:10,837 --> 00:36:13,672
[ SPEAKING GIBBERISH ]
634
00:36:16,977 --> 00:36:18,877
HA HA HA!
635
00:36:31,258 --> 00:36:34,426
[ CHANTING GIBBERISH ]
636
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:41,600
LOOK AT THAT, CARL!
637
00:36:41,602 --> 00:36:45,804
HE'S DOING A DANCE OF JOY
TO THE HARVEST!
638
00:36:45,806 --> 00:36:47,339
[ CHOIR MUSIC PLAYS ]
639
00:36:47,341 --> 00:36:51,443
[ GASPS ] TOO MUCH JOY.
WE GET GUILT AND RELIGION.
640
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:56,415
[ PEPPY BIG-BAND MUSIC PLAYS ]
641
00:36:58,953 --> 00:37:01,787
NOW HE'S BECOMING...
CIVILIZED!
642
00:37:06,026 --> 00:37:08,026
[ METAL CLANGING ]
643
00:37:08,028 --> 00:37:09,894
HE'S BECOME AN ARTISAN.
644
00:37:09,896 --> 00:37:11,730
HE'S MAKING OBJECTS.
645
00:37:13,367 --> 00:37:15,367
HE'S ON AN ASSEMBLY LINE.
646
00:37:15,369 --> 00:37:17,503
IT'S -- IT'S THE
INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION!
647
00:37:19,439 --> 00:37:22,274
[ ENGINE GRINDING ]
648
00:37:23,510 --> 00:37:25,511
[ JACKHAMMER POUNDING ]
649
00:37:27,181 --> 00:37:30,248
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
650
00:37:30,250 --> 00:37:31,984
[ TIRES SQUEAL ]
651
00:37:31,986 --> 00:37:34,620
[ Echoing ] WAIT!
652
00:37:50,204 --> 00:37:53,405
THIS WILL BRING HIM UP
INTO TWILIGHT SLEEP.
653
00:37:53,407 --> 00:37:55,474
HE'LL OBSERVE EVERYTHING,
654
00:37:55,476 --> 00:37:59,143
BUT IT'LL PASS DIRECTLY
INTO HIS DEEPEST MEMORY
655
00:37:59,145 --> 00:38:00,945
THROUGH HIS UNCONSCIOUS.
656
00:38:00,947 --> 00:38:02,747
POOR LONELY SIMON.
657
00:38:02,749 --> 00:38:06,551
AND DO YOU KNOW WHY
YOU'RE LONELY, SIMON?
658
00:38:06,553 --> 00:38:09,421
[ GRUNTS ]
BECAUSE YOU'RE AN ORPHAN.
659
00:38:09,423 --> 00:38:12,557
YOU DON'T KNOW
WHO YOU ARE...
660
00:38:12,559 --> 00:38:15,327
OR WHERE YOU COME FROM.
661
00:38:17,297 --> 00:38:19,832
OPEN YOUR EYES, SIMON.
662
00:38:22,903 --> 00:38:28,907
IT'S JULY 7, 1938 --
YOUR FIRST DAY ON EARTH.
663
00:38:51,331 --> 00:38:53,532
[ Groggily ]
WHO IS THAT?
664
00:38:53,534 --> 00:38:57,202
Woman: WHO IS IT? YOUR MOTHER. WHO ELSE?
665
00:38:57,204 --> 00:38:59,404
MY MOTHER?
666
00:38:59,406 --> 00:39:02,340
SONIA MENDELSSOHN?
667
00:39:02,342 --> 00:39:04,943
NO, NO. YOUR REAL MOTHER.
668
00:39:04,945 --> 00:39:06,144
MOTHER.
669
00:39:06,146 --> 00:39:09,013
WHERE ARE YOU, MOTHER?
670
00:39:09,015 --> 00:39:11,416
RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU, DARLING.
671
00:39:11,418 --> 00:39:13,351
THE SPACESHIP?
672
00:39:13,353 --> 00:39:15,754
ARE YOU IN THE SPACESHIP?
673
00:39:15,756 --> 00:39:19,224
SIMON, I AM THE SPACESHIP.
674
00:39:19,226 --> 00:39:21,159
BUT YOU'RE JUST A MACHINE.
675
00:39:21,161 --> 00:39:23,161
OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
676
00:39:23,163 --> 00:39:25,297
SOME GRATITUDE FROM A SON.
677
00:39:25,299 --> 00:39:27,232
HOW CAN A HUMAN BEING
678
00:39:27,234 --> 00:39:29,834
HAVE A MOTHER
WHO'S A MACHINE, MOTHER?
679
00:39:29,836 --> 00:39:33,972
SIMON, OUR PLANET IS 50 BILLION YEARS AHEAD OF EARTH.
680
00:39:33,974 --> 00:39:37,442
WE CAN MAKE HUMANS THE WAY HUMANS MAKE TOASTERS.
681
00:39:37,444 --> 00:39:38,711
YOU MADE ME?
682
00:39:38,713 --> 00:39:41,714
WHAT, THEN? YOU MADE YOURSELF?
683
00:39:41,716 --> 00:39:43,382
OH, NO!
684
00:39:43,384 --> 00:39:44,917
I'M SCARED!
685
00:39:44,919 --> 00:39:47,720
IT'S ALL RIGHT, LITTLE BOBITCHKENS.
686
00:39:47,722 --> 00:39:50,188
DON'T WORRY. IT'S A GOOD RECIPE --
687
00:39:50,190 --> 00:39:53,191
A LITTLE PROTEIN, SOME NICE AMINO ACIDS.
688
00:39:53,193 --> 00:39:56,528
IT'LL LAST FOR ALMOST 40 YEARS, I GUARANTEE.
689
00:39:56,530 --> 00:39:57,729
AND THEN WHAT?
690
00:39:57,731 --> 00:39:59,732
AND THEN YOU FALL APART.
691
00:39:59,734 --> 00:40:00,799
NO!
692
00:40:00,801 --> 00:40:02,400
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT, SIMON?
693
00:40:02,402 --> 00:40:05,470
NOTHING LASTS FOREVER, NOT EVEN A TOASTER.
694
00:40:05,472 --> 00:40:07,806
NO, DON'T!
WHY ARE YOU LEAVING ME?
695
00:40:07,808 --> 00:40:09,808
THEY NEED HELP, SIMON.
696
00:40:09,810 --> 00:40:12,544
I WANT YOU TO SAVE THE WORLD.
697
00:40:12,546 --> 00:40:13,812
SAVE THE WORLD?
698
00:40:13,814 --> 00:40:16,348
I CAN'T EVEN GET A REGULAR
CHECKING ACCOUNT, MA.
699
00:40:16,350 --> 00:40:18,016
GOODBYE, SIMON.
700
00:40:18,018 --> 00:40:20,418
NO, DON'T LEAVE ME, MA.
701
00:40:20,420 --> 00:40:22,354
MA, DON'T LEAVE ME!
702
00:40:22,356 --> 00:40:24,757
MA!
DON'T BE FRIGHTENED.
703
00:40:24,759 --> 00:40:28,360
I'M LEAVING YOU IN FRONT OF THE ORPHANAGE.
704
00:40:28,362 --> 00:40:30,028
GOODBYE!
705
00:40:30,030 --> 00:40:31,430
DON'T LEAVE ME.
706
00:40:31,432 --> 00:40:32,965
MA. COME BACK, MA.
707
00:40:32,967 --> 00:40:35,634
[ BABY CRIES ]
708
00:40:38,705 --> 00:40:39,838
SOMETHING HAPPENED.
709
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:40,572
WHAT HAPPENED?
710
00:40:40,574 --> 00:40:41,706
I DON'T KNOW.
711
00:40:41,708 --> 00:40:44,042
LET'S JUST FIGURE IT OUT
LOGICALLY.
712
00:40:44,044 --> 00:40:45,377
OH, OOH! BAD DREAM.
713
00:40:45,379 --> 00:40:47,646
NOT DREAMS, SIMON.
THOSE WERE MEMORIES.
714
00:40:47,648 --> 00:40:49,648
MEMORIES?
YES.
715
00:40:49,650 --> 00:40:51,249
DON'T BE FRIGHTENED,
SIMON.
716
00:40:51,251 --> 00:40:52,717
WE'RE HERE TO HELP.
717
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:53,518
HELP?
718
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:54,853
Man: SEARCH FOR IT.
719
00:40:54,855 --> 00:40:55,720
SEARCH?
720
00:40:55,722 --> 00:40:56,921
BE WHO YOU ARE.
721
00:40:56,923 --> 00:40:57,790
WHO I ARE.
722
00:40:57,792 --> 00:40:58,991
YOUR PARENTS --
WHO ARE THEY?
723
00:40:58,993 --> 00:41:00,392
WHERE DID THEY
COME FROM?
724
00:41:00,394 --> 00:41:01,593
OOH!
WHO ARE YOU?
725
00:41:01,595 --> 00:41:03,662
OOH!
WHERE DO YOU
COME FROM?
726
00:41:03,664 --> 00:41:04,863
[ SPEAKING GIBBERISH ]
727
00:41:04,865 --> 00:41:07,332
SIMON,
THE WHOLE WORLD IS WAITING.
728
00:41:07,334 --> 00:41:08,733
EXTRAORDINARY.
729
00:41:08,735 --> 00:41:10,535
THINK OF THE POSSIBILITIES,
THE RECOGNITION.
730
00:41:10,537 --> 00:41:12,404
[ SPEAKS GIBBERISH ]
BOOK. KNOPF.
731
00:41:12,406 --> 00:41:14,039
WAKE UP, SIMON!
732
00:41:15,542 --> 00:41:17,342
WHO ARE YOU, SIMON?
733
00:41:17,344 --> 00:41:18,410
WAIT.
734
00:41:18,412 --> 00:41:20,145
MM-HMM. WHO ARE YOU?
735
00:41:20,147 --> 00:41:22,414
I KNOW, I KNOW.
YES.
736
00:41:22,416 --> 00:41:25,083
MY MOTHER...M-MADE ME.
737
00:41:25,085 --> 00:41:26,351
YES.
738
00:41:26,353 --> 00:41:28,687
I'M...I'M A RECIPE.
739
00:41:28,689 --> 00:41:30,022
GO WITH IT, SIMON.
740
00:41:30,024 --> 00:41:32,491
MY MOTHER --
A BIG WHITE ONE --
741
00:41:32,493 --> 00:41:34,493
A THING -- FLOATING...
YES.
742
00:41:34,495 --> 00:41:35,760
[ MAKES SPACESHIP NOISES ]
743
00:41:35,762 --> 00:41:36,961
YES! OH, I'M --
744
00:41:36,963 --> 00:41:37,962
WHAT ARE YOU?
745
00:41:37,964 --> 00:41:38,963
I--I...
746
00:41:38,965 --> 00:41:39,964
OH, GOD.
747
00:41:39,966 --> 00:41:41,033
I'M A TOASTER!
748
00:41:41,035 --> 00:41:42,434
YES?
749
00:41:42,436 --> 00:41:44,102
YES, A TOASTER.
I SAID IT.
750
00:41:44,104 --> 00:41:45,303
I CAN SAY IT!
751
00:41:45,305 --> 00:41:46,571
OH, YES. YES.
752
00:41:46,573 --> 00:41:49,708
OH! I FEEL GOOD NOW.
753
00:41:49,710 --> 00:41:52,845
[ CHOIR MUSIC PLAYS ]
754
00:42:22,342 --> 00:42:24,609
♪ AMEN, AMEN ♪
755
00:42:24,611 --> 00:42:26,845
♪ AMEN, AH-MEN ♪
756
00:42:29,483 --> 00:42:31,483
♪ AMEN, AMEN ♪
757
00:42:31,485 --> 00:42:33,886
♪ AMEN, AH-MEN ♪
758
00:42:43,830 --> 00:42:46,431
AND TO CLOSE, THIS ITEM FROM HANOVER, MAINE.
759
00:42:46,433 --> 00:42:49,167
SCIENTISTS FROM A RESEARCH FACILITY NEAR HERE
760
00:42:49,169 --> 00:42:51,904
REPORTED THAT THEY WERE HOLDING SOMEONE
761
00:42:51,906 --> 00:42:54,573
WHO WAS CLAIMING TO BE AN EXTRATERRESTRIAL.
762
00:42:54,575 --> 00:42:58,443
THIS FOOTAGE, SUPPLIED BY STATION WHKC IN BANGOR,
763
00:42:58,445 --> 00:43:01,379
SHOWS SIMON MENDELSSOHN, A STAFF MEMBER
764
00:43:01,381 --> 00:43:04,449
AT THE INSTITUTE FOR ADVANCED CONCEPTS,
765
00:43:04,451 --> 00:43:08,120
WHO, IT IS ALLEGED, WAS PLACED ON EARTH AS AN INFANT
766
00:43:08,122 --> 00:43:10,054
APPROXIMATELY 40 YEARS AGO.
767
00:43:10,056 --> 00:43:13,191
EXTENSIVE MEDICAL TESTS ARE UNDER WAY TO DETERMINE
768
00:43:13,193 --> 00:43:14,793
IF MR. MENDELSSOHN IS, IN FACT,
769
00:43:14,795 --> 00:43:16,728
OUR FIRST VISITOR FROM THE STARS
770
00:43:16,730 --> 00:43:18,863
OR JUST A SELF-STYLED LUNATIC...
771
00:43:18,865 --> 00:43:20,532
OR BOTH.
772
00:43:20,534 --> 00:43:23,602
♪ DOO-DOO, DOO-DOO ♪
773
00:43:23,604 --> 00:43:26,204
♪ DOO DOO WAH ♪
774
00:43:26,206 --> 00:43:29,674
♪ OOH WAH ♪
775
00:43:29,676 --> 00:43:33,245
[ "MR. SANDMAN" PLAYS
IN SPANISH ]
776
00:43:58,038 --> 00:44:01,607
[ SINGERS HUMMING ]
777
00:44:04,378 --> 00:44:07,746
[ INSTRUMENTAL BREAK ]
778
00:44:11,318 --> 00:44:14,720
[ SINGING "MR. SANDMAN"
IN SPANISH CONTINUES ]
779
00:44:42,149 --> 00:44:44,416
IT'S A DISTINCT POSSIBILITY.
780
00:44:44,418 --> 00:44:46,150
WE CAN MAKE VIRUSES NOW.
781
00:44:46,152 --> 00:44:48,020
AN ADVANCED CIVILIZATION --
782
00:44:48,022 --> 00:44:50,823
THEY COULD MAKE A PERFECT HUMAN.
783
00:44:50,825 --> 00:44:52,891
A REAL THREE-DIMENSIONAL HUMAN?
784
00:44:52,893 --> 00:44:54,292
A HUMAN HUMAN?
785
00:44:54,294 --> 00:44:56,228
THERE'S A DICHOTOMY IN THIS THAT --
786
00:44:56,230 --> 00:44:59,097
IF HE'S INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM YOU OR ME,
787
00:44:59,099 --> 00:45:00,632
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE?
788
00:45:00,634 --> 00:45:03,635
WHERE IS HIS SOUL? THIS IS THE BASIC QUESTION.
789
00:45:03,637 --> 00:45:07,105
HOW CAN THE MAN HAVE A SOUL? HIS MOTHER WAS A BLENDER.
790
00:45:07,107 --> 00:45:09,441
THE MOST HE CAN HAVE IS A WARRANTY.
791
00:45:09,443 --> 00:45:12,310
I-I THINK THAT THIS EVENT IS CLEAR PROOF
792
00:45:12,312 --> 00:45:15,047
THAT THERE IS A GOD IN THE UNIVERSE.
793
00:45:15,049 --> 00:45:17,582
THIS IS CLEAR PROOF THERE IS NO GOD!
794
00:45:17,584 --> 00:45:18,917
YOU ARE BOTH WRONG.
795
00:45:18,919 --> 00:45:20,452
THIS IS PROOF THAT THERE IS A GOD,
796
00:45:20,454 --> 00:45:22,254
BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL HE IS DOING.
797
00:45:22,256 --> 00:45:24,056
OH, COME ON!
798
00:45:24,058 --> 00:45:25,824
GENTLEMEN. PLEASE, PLEASE.
799
00:45:30,397 --> 00:45:31,596
[ INTERCOM BEEPS ]
800
00:45:31,598 --> 00:45:33,331
GOOD MORNING, SIMON.
801
00:45:33,333 --> 00:45:35,400
AH, CARL! GOOD MORNING.
802
00:45:35,402 --> 00:45:36,669
YOU WANTED TO SEE US?
803
00:45:36,671 --> 00:45:38,136
YES, I DID.
804
00:45:38,138 --> 00:45:39,671
I WANTED TO THANK YOU ALL PERSONALLY
805
00:45:39,673 --> 00:45:41,674
FOR THE EXEMPLARY WAY IN WHICH YOU HAVE HANDLED
806
00:45:41,676 --> 00:45:44,476
WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN A VERY EXPLOSIVE SITUATION FOR YOU.
807
00:45:44,478 --> 00:45:46,411
YOU SHOULD FEEL
VERY, VERY PROUD.
808
00:45:46,413 --> 00:45:47,812
THANK YOU.
809
00:45:47,814 --> 00:45:49,948
YOU SEE, YOU'VE GIVEN THE WORLD
SOMETHING FINALLY TO BELIEVE IN.
810
00:45:49,950 --> 00:45:51,349
AH. AND WHAT IS THAT?
811
00:45:51,351 --> 00:45:52,617
ME.
812
00:45:52,619 --> 00:45:55,754
YES. SIMON, WHAT'S THAT IN YOUR HAND?
813
00:45:55,756 --> 00:45:58,356
AH, YES.
UH, MY STATEMENT.
814
00:45:58,358 --> 00:45:59,491
COULD WE SEE IT?
815
00:45:59,493 --> 00:46:00,893
SURE!
816
00:46:07,301 --> 00:46:11,770
UH, TO WHOM DO YOU WISH TO MAKE THIS STATEMENT?
817
00:46:11,772 --> 00:46:13,906
OH, ALL MANKIND.
818
00:46:13,908 --> 00:46:16,575
FULL MEDIA COVERAGE.
819
00:46:16,577 --> 00:46:19,644
COULD YOU EXCUSE US FOR A MINUTE?
820
00:46:19,646 --> 00:46:21,714
SURELY.
THANK YOU.
821
00:46:21,716 --> 00:46:23,648
WELL, GENTLEMEN,
A NEW WRINKLE.
822
00:46:23,650 --> 00:46:26,451
FULL MEDIA COVERAGE.
I LOVE IT.
823
00:46:26,453 --> 00:46:27,986
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
824
00:46:27,988 --> 00:46:29,788
WELL, WE CAN'T LET HIM
MAKE THIS STATEMENT.
825
00:46:29,790 --> 00:46:30,989
WHY NOT?
IT'S ALREADY IN THE SCENARIO.
826
00:46:30,991 --> 00:46:32,324
RELEASE IT TO THE MEDIA.
827
00:46:32,326 --> 00:46:34,659
"WHY NOT?"
DID YOU READ THAT THING?
828
00:46:34,661 --> 00:46:36,595
THE MAN'S A WORLD-CLASS
PSYCHOTIC.
829
00:46:36,597 --> 00:46:37,730
UH-HUH.
830
00:46:37,732 --> 00:46:38,931
DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?
831
00:46:38,933 --> 00:46:40,799
I SAID
LOOK WHO'S TALKING.
832
00:46:40,801 --> 00:46:42,200
CHEMIST!
833
00:46:42,202 --> 00:46:43,201
ROACHOFILE!
834
00:46:43,203 --> 00:46:44,669
PLEASE, GENTLEMEN,
I BEG OF YOU --
835
00:46:44,671 --> 00:46:45,938
[ KNOCKING ON GLASS ]
836
00:46:45,940 --> 00:46:47,539
I'M A LITTLE PRESSED FOR TIME, CARL.
837
00:46:47,541 --> 00:46:49,207
COULD YOU EXCUSE US
FOR A MINUTE LONGER?
838
00:46:49,209 --> 00:46:51,143
I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU KEPT IT ROLLING.
839
00:46:51,145 --> 00:46:53,946
LOOK, WHY DON'T WE
GIVE IT A TRY?
840
00:46:53,948 --> 00:46:55,447
WHAT COULD HAPPEN?
841
00:46:55,449 --> 00:46:56,548
ARAM. GO.
842
00:46:56,550 --> 00:46:57,750
SHIPANSHA.
GO.
843
00:46:57,752 --> 00:46:59,017
LET'S DO IT.
844
00:46:59,019 --> 00:47:00,619
SIMON, WHAT WE'VE
DECIDED TO DO --
845
00:47:00,621 --> 00:47:01,820
CARL,
I'D LIKE TO EXPRESS
846
00:47:01,822 --> 00:47:03,822
MY VERY GRAVE DOUBTS
ABOUT THIS.
847
00:47:03,824 --> 00:47:05,624
NOW, THIS MAN IS
OBVIOUSLY INSANE.
848
00:47:05,626 --> 00:47:08,426
WE CAN'T PRESENT HIM
TO THE MEDIA AT THIS TIME.
849
00:47:08,428 --> 00:47:11,563
Man: PLEASE STAY IN LINE.
PLEASE MOVE ALONG.
850
00:47:11,565 --> 00:47:14,566
PLEASE STAY IN LINE,
IF YOU WILL, PLEASE.
851
00:47:14,568 --> 00:47:16,034
THIS WAY. TO THE RIGHT.
852
00:47:16,036 --> 00:47:18,570
TO THE RIGHT,
IF YOU WILL, PLEASE,
853
00:47:18,572 --> 00:47:20,139
BUT STAY IN LINE.
854
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:35,354
SHH!
855
00:47:43,998 --> 00:47:47,800
[ CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICK ]
856
00:47:47,802 --> 00:47:50,935
THANK YOU, CARL, AND GOOD AFTERNOON, EVERYBODY.
857
00:47:50,937 --> 00:47:54,673
I'VE BEEN DOING A GREAT DEAL OF THINKING ABOUT WHO I AM
858
00:47:54,675 --> 00:47:57,742
AND WHY I'VE BEEN SENT HERE TO LIVE AMONG YOU,
859
00:47:57,744 --> 00:48:00,278
AND THE ANSWER IS REALLY VERY SIMPLE.
860
00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:03,482
THINGS HERE ARE JUST NOT WORKING OUT VERY WELL.
861
00:48:03,484 --> 00:48:06,751
YOUR JOBS ARE BORING,
YOUR FOOD IS BLAND,
862
00:48:06,753 --> 00:48:09,421
YOUR WATER'S POLLUTED, AND YOUR RELATIONSHIPS DON'T WORK.
863
00:48:09,423 --> 00:48:10,622
IS THAT NOT RIGHT?
864
00:48:10,624 --> 00:48:12,557
AND THE QUESTION IS,
865
00:48:12,559 --> 00:48:16,695
HOW HAVE THINGS COME TO SUCH A SORRY STATE OF AFFAIRS?
866
00:48:16,697 --> 00:48:20,165
I WILL TELL YOU.
867
00:48:20,167 --> 00:48:22,967
THERE IS TOO MUCH BAD STUFF AROUND --
868
00:48:22,969 --> 00:48:24,236
BAD FOOD,
869
00:48:24,238 --> 00:48:25,370
BAD DRINK, BAD ART, BAD IDEAS.
870
00:48:25,372 --> 00:48:27,305
EVERYTHING'S ALL CLOGGED UP.
871
00:48:27,307 --> 00:48:28,907
SO WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO
872
00:48:28,909 --> 00:48:31,109
IS WE'RE GOING TO GET RID OF ALL THE BAD STUFF,
873
00:48:31,111 --> 00:48:33,311
AND THAT WILL BE A VERY GOOD BEGINNING.
874
00:48:33,313 --> 00:48:35,047
NOW, I HAVE HERE A LIST OF THINGS
875
00:48:35,049 --> 00:48:37,850
WHICH I'D LIKE WRITTEN INTO THE CONSTITUTION IMMEDIATELY,
876
00:48:37,852 --> 00:48:39,518
AFTER WHICH, I PROMISE YOU,
877
00:48:39,520 --> 00:48:41,386
YOUR LIVES WILL BE LESS TENSE AND MORE REWARDING.
878
00:48:41,388 --> 00:48:44,189
"ONE -- ALL MUZAK IN ELEVATORS, AIRPORTS, RESTAURANTS,
879
00:48:44,191 --> 00:48:47,259
"AND OTHER PUBLIC ROOMS WILL CEASE IMMEDIATELY.
880
00:48:47,261 --> 00:48:49,994
"TWO -- NO MORE CHILDREN OR ANIMALS MAY BE USED
881
00:48:49,996 --> 00:48:51,596
"TO SELL PRODUCTS.
882
00:48:51,598 --> 00:48:54,999
"THREE -- LAWYERS WHO LOSE CASES WILL GO TO JAIL
883
00:48:55,001 --> 00:48:56,334
"WITH THEIR CLIENTS.
884
00:48:56,336 --> 00:48:58,470
"FOUR -- NO DOCTOR MAY WRITE A DIET BOOK.
885
00:48:58,472 --> 00:49:01,273
"ANY DOCTOR WHO DOES WILL IMMEDIATELY LOSE HIS LICENSE
886
00:49:01,275 --> 00:49:02,675
"AND BECOME A DENTIST.
887
00:49:02,677 --> 00:49:04,276
"FIVE --
888
00:49:04,278 --> 00:49:06,211
"I THINK WE DON'T REALLY NEED
A HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
889
00:49:06,213 --> 00:49:07,412
AND A SENATE."
890
00:49:07,414 --> 00:49:08,480
THE ROMANS DIDN'T HAVE ONE,
891
00:49:08,482 --> 00:49:09,882
SO LET'S JUST HAVE
A SENATE, OKAY?
892
00:49:09,884 --> 00:49:11,149
WHICH REMINDS ME.
893
00:49:11,151 --> 00:49:12,817
I THINK IT WOULD BE A VERY GOOD IDEA
894
00:49:12,819 --> 00:49:15,087
IF FROM NOW ON, ALL POLITICIANS WHO APPEARED IN PUBLIC
895
00:49:15,089 --> 00:49:17,489
WORE A CONE-SHAPED PARTY HAT -- NOT BAD, HUH?
896
00:49:17,491 --> 00:49:19,157
"SIX -- POLLUTION.
897
00:49:19,159 --> 00:49:21,694
"ANYBODY WHO OWNS A FACTORY THAT MAKES RADIOACTIVE WASTE
898
00:49:21,696 --> 00:49:24,162
"HAS TO TAKE IT HOME AT NIGHT WITH HIM TO HIS HOUSE.
899
00:49:24,164 --> 00:49:28,366
"SEVEN -- ANYBODY WHO SAYS, 'I'M TRYING TO GET CENTERED,'
900
00:49:28,368 --> 00:49:30,969
"'YOU'RE INVADING MY SPACE,' OR 'FAR OUT'
901
00:49:30,971 --> 00:49:32,571
WILL BE FINED $50."
902
00:49:32,573 --> 00:49:35,039
MAKE THAT $100.
903
00:49:35,041 --> 00:49:37,509
I FEEL SIMON IS BASICALLY EXPRESSING
904
00:49:37,511 --> 00:49:40,712
THE UNCONSCIOUS WISHES OF THE PUBLIC, BASICALLY.
905
00:49:40,714 --> 00:49:43,582
WHAT ARE YOUR FEELINGS ON THAT, SENATOR?
906
00:49:43,584 --> 00:49:45,918
I CAN'T GO ALONG WITH THAT, DICK.
907
00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:47,852
I THINK THE FELLA'S DANGEROUS.
908
00:49:47,854 --> 00:49:50,655
♪ YOU, YOU, YOU ♪
909
00:49:50,657 --> 00:49:54,593
♪ YOU CAME OUT OF
THE BLUE, BLUE, BLUE ♪
910
00:49:54,595 --> 00:49:58,263
♪ YOU CAME OUT OF
THE SKY, SKY, SKY ♪
911
00:49:58,265 --> 00:50:00,865
♪ AND THAT IS WHY I ♪
912
00:50:00,867 --> 00:50:02,601
♪ I, I ♪
913
00:50:02,603 --> 00:50:05,537
♪ LOVE YOU ♪
914
00:50:05,539 --> 00:50:09,341
♪ AND THAT IS WHY I LOVE YOU ♪
915
00:50:09,343 --> 00:50:13,478
♪ THERE'S NO ONE ELSE
ABOVE YOU ♪
916
00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:16,949
♪ OOH, SPACE MAN ♪
917
00:50:16,951 --> 00:50:19,684
♪ I LOVE YOU ♪
918
00:50:19,686 --> 00:50:22,287
SIMON, YOU'RE GOING TO
HAVE TO GO MORE SLOWLY,
919
00:50:22,289 --> 00:50:24,623
'CAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO
DISTURB PEOPLE.
920
00:50:24,625 --> 00:50:27,292
YOU'RE UPSET, CARL.
I UNDERSTAND THESE THINGS.
921
00:50:27,294 --> 00:50:29,762
I JUST THINK WE SHOULD MEET
AND GO OVER YOUR MATERIAL
922
00:50:29,764 --> 00:50:31,430
BEFORE YOU BROADCAST AGAIN.
923
00:50:31,432 --> 00:50:33,898
NO, THAT'S QUITE
IMPOSSIBLE.
924
00:50:33,900 --> 00:50:35,433
WHY?
925
00:50:35,435 --> 00:50:38,971
BECAUSE NOW I HAVE TO SPEAK
WITH SOMEONE IN AUTHORITY.
926
00:50:38,973 --> 00:50:40,438
I'M IN AUTHORITY.
927
00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:42,775
YES, CARL,
OF COURSE YOU ARE.
928
00:50:42,777 --> 00:50:46,178
THAT'S WHY I WANT YOU TO SET UP
A MEETING WITH THE PRESIDENT,
929
00:50:46,180 --> 00:50:50,616
THE CHINESE PREMIER, THE POPE,
AND WALTER CRONKITE.
930
00:50:52,319 --> 00:50:54,453
I'D LIKE TO HAVE HIM
TERMINATED.
931
00:50:54,455 --> 00:50:57,522
TERMINATED? OH, NO.
COME ON, CARL, NOT YET.
932
00:50:57,524 --> 00:50:59,324
HE'S JUST STARTING
TO COOK.
933
00:50:59,326 --> 00:51:01,259
COULDN'T WE GIVE IT
ANOTHER WEEK?
934
00:51:01,261 --> 00:51:04,463
NO. HE'S OUT OF CONTROL,
AND I WANT HIM KILLED.
935
00:51:04,465 --> 00:51:06,064
HE'S NOT HURTING ANYBODY.
936
00:51:06,066 --> 00:51:07,332
HAVE YOU READ
THE NEWSPAPERS LATELY?
937
00:51:07,334 --> 00:51:08,801
I NEVER READ THE NEWSPAPERS.
938
00:51:08,803 --> 00:51:10,469
BUT IT'S FASCINATING.
939
00:51:10,471 --> 00:51:12,404
HIS EGO IS EXPANDING
EXPONENTIALLY.
940
00:51:12,406 --> 00:51:15,474
COME ON, CARL.
IT'S WORKING SO WELL.
941
00:51:15,476 --> 00:51:17,676
WE HAVEN'T HAD A GOODIE
LIKE THIS IN SIX MONTHS!
942
00:51:17,678 --> 00:51:19,144
PLEASE?
943
00:51:20,147 --> 00:51:22,146
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
944
00:51:22,148 --> 00:51:23,948
BUT WE HAVE TO SLOW HIM DOWN
A LITTLE.
945
00:51:23,950 --> 00:51:25,550
ARAM,
HAVE YOU GOT ANYTHING?
946
00:51:25,552 --> 00:51:27,219
I'VE BEEN DOING SOME
WONDERFUL THINGS WITH MICE.
947
00:51:27,221 --> 00:51:28,620
I KNOW YOU HAVE.
948
00:51:28,622 --> 00:51:30,022
I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.
949
00:51:30,024 --> 00:51:31,824
THANK YOU.
950
00:51:31,826 --> 00:51:33,225
WHERE WERE WE?
951
00:51:33,227 --> 00:51:34,827
UH, THREE BEFORE "C."
952
00:51:34,829 --> 00:51:37,696
[ MUSIC PLAYS ]
953
00:51:42,236 --> 00:51:45,037
I'D LIKE TO SEE
DR. CARL BECKER, PLEASE.
954
00:51:45,039 --> 00:51:46,438
YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT?
955
00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:48,907
DO YOU HAVE A PHONE
IN THAT THING?
956
00:51:48,909 --> 00:51:51,376
PLEASE, LISA --
IF I MAY CALL YOU LISA --
957
00:51:51,378 --> 00:51:53,378
THIS WHOLE THING
IS JUST AS BAFFLING TO US
958
00:51:53,380 --> 00:51:54,646
AS IT IS TO YOU.
959
00:51:54,648 --> 00:51:56,781
LISTEN, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU DID TO THAT MAN,
960
00:51:56,783 --> 00:51:58,917
BUT HE DOES NOT COME
FROM OUT OF SPACE.
961
00:51:58,919 --> 00:52:00,185
WHERE IS HE, PLEASE?
962
00:52:00,187 --> 00:52:01,986
I'LL TAKE YOU
TO HIM, BUT FIRST
963
00:52:01,988 --> 00:52:03,856
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO
CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES.
964
00:52:03,858 --> 00:52:05,858
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH MY CLOTHES?
965
00:52:05,860 --> 00:52:07,325
GERMS, LISA. GERMS.
966
00:52:07,327 --> 00:52:08,593
YOU DON'T WANT TO BE
967
00:52:08,595 --> 00:52:11,096
THE CAUSE OF HIS DEATH,
NOW, DO YOU?
968
00:52:16,470 --> 00:52:20,806
WELL, THERE HE IS, LISA.
I HOPE HE REMEMBERS YOU.
969
00:52:22,877 --> 00:52:25,143
[ SWITCH CLICKS ]
970
00:52:25,145 --> 00:52:26,545
[ SAXOPHONE MUSIC PLAYS ]
971
00:52:26,547 --> 00:52:28,080
SIMON.
972
00:52:28,082 --> 00:52:30,215
YOU HAVE A VISITOR.
973
00:52:35,756 --> 00:52:37,222
HELLO, SIMON.
974
00:52:37,224 --> 00:52:38,657
HELLO, LISA.
975
00:52:41,095 --> 00:52:44,296
THEY GAVE ME THIS STUFF.
THEY SAID I WAS CONTAGIOUS.
976
00:52:44,298 --> 00:52:45,964
YES, HUMAN BEINGS
ARE ALL CONTAGIOUS TO ME.
977
00:52:45,966 --> 00:52:48,500
IS THAT TRUE?
OH, YES.
978
00:52:48,502 --> 00:52:50,168
OH, IT'S A VERY NICE
SENTIMENT.
979
00:52:50,170 --> 00:52:52,837
THAT MUST BE WHY YOU DIDN'T
CALL ME FOR FIVE WEEKS.
980
00:52:52,839 --> 00:52:55,107
YOU MUST HAVE BEEN AFRAID
THAT I'D INFECT YOU
981
00:52:55,109 --> 00:52:56,575
OVER THE TELEPHONE.
982
00:52:56,577 --> 00:52:59,111
NO, NO, NO. I'VE JUST
BEEN VERY, VERY BUSY.
983
00:52:59,113 --> 00:53:00,445
BUSY?
984
00:53:00,447 --> 00:53:01,914
SIMON, WHAT --
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
985
00:53:01,916 --> 00:53:03,047
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
986
00:53:03,049 --> 00:53:04,983
THIS IS AN EXPERIMENT
LIKE THE TANK?
987
00:53:04,985 --> 00:53:07,452
YOU'RE PRETENDING TO BE
THIS SPACE PERSON.
988
00:53:07,454 --> 00:53:08,787
I DON'T GET IT.
989
00:53:08,789 --> 00:53:10,789
IT'S NOT AN EXPERIMENT.
IT'S THE REAL THING.
990
00:53:10,791 --> 00:53:13,525
ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT
YOU COME FROM OUT OF SPACE?
991
00:53:13,527 --> 00:53:15,127
NOT "OUT OF SPACE,"
992
00:53:15,129 --> 00:53:16,328
OUTER SPACE!
993
00:53:16,330 --> 00:53:17,862
"OUT OF SPACE"
DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING!
994
00:53:17,864 --> 00:53:20,064
SIMON, I FIND THIS
VERY HARD TO ACCEPT.
995
00:53:20,066 --> 00:53:23,068
WELL, YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE.
I FIND IT HARD TO ACCEPT MYSELF.
996
00:53:23,070 --> 00:53:24,803
BUT YOU ACCEPT IT?
997
00:53:24,805 --> 00:53:25,870
YES, I DO.
998
00:53:25,872 --> 00:53:27,272
THE MEDICAL EVIDENCE
IS OVERWHELMING.
999
00:53:27,274 --> 00:53:29,141
I MEAN, MY BLOOD,
MY BODILY FLUIDS --
1000
00:53:29,143 --> 00:53:30,542
NOBODY'S SEEN
ANYTHING LIKE THEM.
1001
00:53:30,544 --> 00:53:31,876
AND MY MEMORIES --
1002
00:53:31,878 --> 00:53:33,746
MY GOD, THE MEMORIES
I'VE BEEN HAVING!
1003
00:53:33,748 --> 00:53:35,013
AND SO MANY OTHER THINGS.
1004
00:53:35,015 --> 00:53:37,149
IT ALL MAKES SENSE
WHEN YOU PUT IT TOGETHER.
1005
00:53:37,151 --> 00:53:39,418
IT'S PART OF THE GRAND
SCHEME OF THINGS.
1006
00:53:39,420 --> 00:53:42,554
THE REASON FOR MY BEING,
MY PURPOSE, WHO I AM,
1007
00:53:42,556 --> 00:53:44,222
THE ALL-SEEING EYE,
1008
00:53:44,224 --> 00:53:46,625
THE YIN, THE YANG...
1009
00:53:46,627 --> 00:53:48,627
THE WAH!
1010
00:53:51,165 --> 00:53:53,431
YOU UNDERSTAND?
1011
00:53:53,433 --> 00:53:55,167
SIMON,
WHEN DID YOU EAT LAST?
1012
00:53:55,169 --> 00:53:56,501
YOU KNOW,
1013
00:53:56,503 --> 00:53:58,771
YOU HAVE SERIOUS TROUBLES
WITH REALITY, LISA,
1014
00:53:58,773 --> 00:54:01,039
DO YOU KNOW THAT?
I MEAN, YOU CUT YOURSELF OFF.
1015
00:54:01,041 --> 00:54:02,507
I CUT MYSELF OFF?
1016
00:54:02,509 --> 00:54:03,776
YES, YOU DO.
1017
00:54:03,778 --> 00:54:05,710
I AM NOT SITTING
IN A GLASS BOX WITH FAKE AIR
1018
00:54:05,712 --> 00:54:06,911
LIKE SOME HALF-BAKED GURU!
1019
00:54:06,913 --> 00:54:08,981
WHAT IS THIS THING,
YOUR FLYING SUIT?
1020
00:54:08,983 --> 00:54:11,115
IT'S MY GARMENT.
DON'T TOUCH IT.
1021
00:54:11,117 --> 00:54:13,585
SIMON, YOU'RE A REAL PERSON,
A REGULAR PERSON.
1022
00:54:13,587 --> 00:54:14,987
WHERE'S YOUR RED HAT?
1023
00:54:14,989 --> 00:54:17,389
I AM NOT GOING TO DISCUSS
COMPLEX SCIENTIFIC IDEAS
1024
00:54:17,391 --> 00:54:19,391
WITH SOMEBODY FROM
THE MUSIC DEPARTMENT!
1025
00:54:19,393 --> 00:54:20,793
DON'T PATRONIZE ME, SIMON.
1026
00:54:20,795 --> 00:54:22,594
I WAS THERE
DURING THE MESCALINE
1027
00:54:22,596 --> 00:54:24,396
AND DURING THE FASTING
FOR THREE WEEKS
1028
00:54:24,398 --> 00:54:26,064
ON GRASS AND EARPHONES,
1029
00:54:26,066 --> 00:54:29,334
AND THIS IS ANOTHER ONE. THIS IS THE OUTER SPACE ONE.
1030
00:54:29,336 --> 00:54:30,735
SIMON,
THEY HYPNOTIZED YOU.
1031
00:54:30,737 --> 00:54:32,671
YOUR FRIEND BECKER --
"MR. WIZARD" --
1032
00:54:32,673 --> 00:54:34,473
HE WASHED YOUR BRAIN
IN A TRUNK.
1033
00:54:34,475 --> 00:54:36,008
NOBODY HYPNOTIZED ANYBODY.
1034
00:54:36,010 --> 00:54:37,476
I'M THE SAME PERSON I WAS,
1035
00:54:37,478 --> 00:54:39,211
EXCEPT THAT I COME
FROM ANOTHER PLANET!
1036
00:54:39,213 --> 00:54:42,147
WHAT PLANET?
WELL, HOW DO I KNOW?! THERE'S
MILLIONS OF THEM OUT THERE!
1037
00:54:42,149 --> 00:54:44,082
IS IT VENUS?
1038
00:54:44,084 --> 00:54:45,484
NO, IT'S NOT VENUS.
1039
00:54:45,486 --> 00:54:47,151
IF YOU MUST KNOW,
IT'S IN THE NEBULA ORION.
1040
00:54:47,153 --> 00:54:49,087
ALL RIGHT, YOU COME
FROM THE NEBULA ORION.
1041
00:54:49,089 --> 00:54:50,288
YES, I DO.
1042
00:54:50,290 --> 00:54:51,556
HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS?
1043
00:54:51,558 --> 00:54:52,891
HOW DOES ANYBODY
KNOW ANYTHING?
1044
00:54:52,893 --> 00:54:54,893
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HOW DOES
ANYBODY KNOW ANYTHING?
1045
00:54:54,895 --> 00:54:57,362
HOW DOES ANYBODY
KNOW ANYTHING?
1046
00:54:57,364 --> 00:54:59,297
WHAT IS THIS,
AN INTERGALACTIC TALMUD LESSON?
1047
00:54:59,299 --> 00:55:00,833
I SIMPLY ASKED YOU,
HOW DO YOU KNOW
1048
00:55:00,835 --> 00:55:02,367
YOU COME
FROM THE ORION NEBULA.
1049
00:55:02,369 --> 00:55:03,902
I CAN'T HANDLE THIS.
1050
00:55:03,904 --> 00:55:05,970
I HAVE A LOT OF PROBLEMS
AND A LOT OF RESPONSIBILITIES!
1051
00:55:05,972 --> 00:55:08,373
IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHO I AM,
THEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT!
1052
00:55:08,375 --> 00:55:11,443
OKAY. OKAY.
1053
00:55:11,445 --> 00:55:13,712
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
1054
00:55:13,714 --> 00:55:15,113
OKAY?
1055
00:55:15,115 --> 00:55:16,381
OKAY.
1056
00:55:16,383 --> 00:55:17,850
OKAY.
1057
00:55:17,852 --> 00:55:19,051
[ SIGHS ] ALL RIGHT.
1058
00:55:19,053 --> 00:55:20,919
NOW, WHY DON'T YOU COME
SIT DOWN OVER HERE WITH ME?
1059
00:55:20,921 --> 00:55:22,721
WHY?
1060
00:55:22,723 --> 00:55:26,458
SIMON, IT'S BEEN
A LONG TIME -- FIVE WEEKS.
1061
00:55:26,460 --> 00:55:28,060
ARE YOU CRAZY?
1062
00:55:28,062 --> 00:55:30,663
YOUR BODY IS CRAWLING WITH
MILLIONS OF DEADLY MICROBES.
1063
00:55:30,665 --> 00:55:32,865
WELL,
WHY DON'T YOU JOIN ME?
1064
00:55:32,867 --> 00:55:35,868
BECAUSE I COULD DIE
IN A SECOND, THAT'S WHY.
1065
00:55:35,870 --> 00:55:38,270
SIMON, WE COULD ALL
DIE IN A SECOND.
1066
00:55:38,272 --> 00:55:42,274
THE WORLD COULD EXPLODE.
TERRIBLE THINGS COULD HAPPEN.
1067
00:55:42,276 --> 00:55:43,776
COME HERE.
1068
00:55:47,548 --> 00:55:49,013
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
1069
00:55:49,015 --> 00:55:52,016
I'VE NEVER MADE LOVE WITH
AN EXTRATERRESTRIAL BEFORE.
1070
00:55:52,018 --> 00:55:53,351
LISA.
1071
00:55:53,353 --> 00:55:54,553
IT'S PERFECTLY ALL RIGHT.
1072
00:55:54,555 --> 00:55:56,755
I'VE BEEN COMPLETELY
DECONTAMINATED,
1073
00:55:56,757 --> 00:56:00,024
AND ANYWAY, WE'LL NEVER
ACTUALLY TOUCH, I PROMISE.
1074
00:56:00,026 --> 00:56:02,694
YOU CAN'T MAKE LOVE
WITHOUT TOUCHING.
1075
00:56:02,696 --> 00:56:06,231
WELL, YES, YOU CAN,
SORT OF.
1076
00:56:06,233 --> 00:56:08,567
THINK ABOUT IT.
1077
00:56:10,504 --> 00:56:14,439
YOU BROUGHT A THING?
FROM HIGH SCHOOL?
1078
00:56:14,441 --> 00:56:15,974
MM-HMM.
1079
00:56:15,976 --> 00:56:17,343
MMM.
1080
00:56:20,981 --> 00:56:22,380
STELAZINE?
1081
00:56:22,382 --> 00:56:24,249
PERCODAN?
1082
00:56:24,251 --> 00:56:27,252
THORAZINE?
STRYCHNINE?
1083
00:56:27,254 --> 00:56:29,053
TOO HEAVY.
1084
00:56:29,055 --> 00:56:30,522
I COULD USE THOSE PILLS
1085
00:56:30,524 --> 00:56:32,791
THAT MAKE THE MICE SOUND
LIKE LOUIS ARMSTRONG.
1086
00:56:32,793 --> 00:56:35,794
THAT MIGHT DESTROY
HIS CREDIBILITY.
1087
00:56:35,796 --> 00:56:37,462
TOO OBVIOUS.
1088
00:56:37,464 --> 00:56:41,400
I COULD MAKE
HIS NOSE DROP OFF.
1089
00:56:41,402 --> 00:56:43,668
TOO BAROQUE.
1090
00:56:43,670 --> 00:56:45,938
WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THIS?
1091
00:56:45,940 --> 00:56:52,277
TOMORROW MORNING HE WAKES UP,
AND HE'S VERY STUPID.
1092
00:56:52,279 --> 00:56:54,947
HMM.
ALL RIGHT, GO ON.
1093
00:56:54,949 --> 00:56:57,682
IT'S JUST SOMETHING
I'VE BEEN WORKING ON.
1094
00:56:57,684 --> 00:57:00,685
IT'S ODORLESS, COLORLESS,
TASTELESS, UNTRACEABLE.
1095
00:57:00,687 --> 00:57:04,689
IT ATTACKS THE CORTEX AND CUTS
THE INTELLIGENCE RIGHT IN HALF.
1096
00:57:04,691 --> 00:57:07,026
I LIKE IT. IT'S ELEGANT.
1097
00:57:21,908 --> 00:57:23,508
HOW LONG
IS IT EFFECTIVE?
1098
00:57:23,510 --> 00:57:25,644
A WEEK, MAYBE A MONTH,
MAYBE A YEAR.
1099
00:57:25,646 --> 00:57:28,112
ONE WHIFF AND THEY'LL
BOTH BE REAL DOCILE.
1100
00:57:28,114 --> 00:57:30,649
YOU SEE, IT CUTS
THE I.Q. RIGHT IN HALF.
1101
00:57:30,651 --> 00:57:33,118
OKAY, OKAY, WAIT NOW.
UH...ALL RIGHT.
1102
00:57:33,120 --> 00:57:37,322
THIS ONE -- THIS ONE FEEDS
ONLY THE STERILE ROOM.
1103
00:57:38,592 --> 00:57:40,124
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
1104
00:57:40,126 --> 00:57:42,060
NO, WAIT!
I HAD IT UPSIDE DOWN.
1105
00:57:42,062 --> 00:57:44,329
THAT ONE FEEDS THE REST
OF THE BUILDING.
1106
00:57:44,331 --> 00:57:45,930
[ GAS LEAKS ]
1107
00:57:45,932 --> 00:57:47,766
[ Strained voice ]
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
1108
00:57:50,537 --> 00:57:52,805
[ HISSING ]
1109
00:57:54,675 --> 00:57:56,408
YOU BETTER
TURN THAT THING OFF.
1110
00:57:56,410 --> 00:57:58,610
I CAN'T.
I CAN'T. IT'S STUCK.
1111
00:57:58,612 --> 00:58:00,412
OH, BOY, OH, BOY.
1112
00:58:00,414 --> 00:58:03,048
HOW LONG DOES
IT TAKE TO WORK?
1113
00:58:04,885 --> 00:58:08,620
HOW LONG DOES WHAT
TAKE TO WORK?
1114
00:58:08,622 --> 00:58:10,222
DORIS, WHAT SHOULD I DO?
1115
00:58:10,224 --> 00:58:12,957
THE GAS IS DRIFTING
AROUND OUT THERE.
1116
00:58:12,959 --> 00:58:15,560
THEY ARE GOING TO TRACE
IT TO ME, TO US.
1117
00:58:15,562 --> 00:58:18,963
I KNOW ABOUT THE GAS. I KNOW ABOUT EVERYTHING.
1118
00:58:18,965 --> 00:58:22,034
I'M THE WORLD'S SMARTEST COMPUTER, RIGHT?
1119
00:58:22,036 --> 00:58:23,502
YES.
1120
00:58:23,504 --> 00:58:25,303
SO YOU WANT ME TO FIX IT. IS THAT IT, CARL?
1121
00:58:25,305 --> 00:58:26,971
YES, DORIS.
1122
00:58:26,973 --> 00:58:28,841
ALL RIGHT, WHY DON'T YOU COME RIGHT OUT AND SAY IT?
1123
00:58:28,843 --> 00:58:30,642
I ALREADY CALLED THE PENTAGON, AND I TOLD THEM
1124
00:58:30,644 --> 00:58:32,044
THERE'S A LITTLE PROBLEM
1125
00:58:32,046 --> 00:58:33,578
WITH THAT EXTRATERRESTRIAL OF YOURS.
1126
00:58:33,580 --> 00:58:35,247
OH, REALLY?
YES.
1127
00:58:35,249 --> 00:58:38,250
SO JUST CALM DOWN AND LET THEM HANDLE IT, OKAY?
1128
00:58:38,252 --> 00:58:39,718
OKAY, DORIS.
1129
00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:41,520
YOU SEE, THE GAS IS WORTHLESS, ANYWAY.
1130
00:58:41,522 --> 00:58:43,321
IT'S GONNA WEAR OFF IN A FEW WEEKS.
1131
00:58:43,323 --> 00:58:45,924
I MEAN, EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT LITHIUM CARBONATE
1132
00:58:45,926 --> 00:58:47,192
BECOMES VERY UNSTABLE --
1133
00:58:47,194 --> 00:58:49,194
WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT?
1134
00:58:49,196 --> 00:58:51,396
WHY ARE YOU STEPPING ON ME LIKE THIS?
1135
00:58:51,398 --> 00:58:52,997
YOU KNOW WHY.
1136
00:58:52,999 --> 00:58:55,600
I DON'T WANT TO GET INTO A WHOLE THING NOW, CARL.
1137
00:58:55,602 --> 00:58:57,602
I MEAN, I REALLY DON'T. NOT NOW.
1138
00:58:57,604 --> 00:58:59,604
IT'S BECAUSE
YOU'RE SO SMART.
1139
00:58:59,606 --> 00:59:00,805
CARL.
1140
00:59:00,807 --> 00:59:02,474
I CAN'T HELP IT.
YOU'RE SO BIG.
1141
00:59:02,476 --> 00:59:03,675
I KNOW.
1142
00:59:03,677 --> 00:59:06,010
YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL.
1143
00:59:06,012 --> 00:59:07,212
I KNOW.
1144
00:59:07,214 --> 00:59:08,280
MAKES ME CRAZY.
1145
00:59:08,282 --> 00:59:11,015
OH, CARL, DON'T TOUCH MY YELLOW.
1146
00:59:11,017 --> 00:59:14,152
YOU KNOW, CARL, YOU'RE A VERY SICK PERSON.
1147
00:59:14,154 --> 00:59:16,221
I LOVE YOU, DORIS.
1148
00:59:16,223 --> 00:59:18,356
NOT MY WHITE, CARL. PLEASE, NOT --
1149
00:59:18,358 --> 00:59:21,426
I MEAN, HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS?
1150
00:59:21,428 --> 00:59:23,295
YOU CAN'T LOVE ME. I'M A MACHINE.
1151
00:59:23,297 --> 00:59:24,897
I KNOW.
1152
00:59:24,899 --> 00:59:26,965
MAYBE THIS IS JUST INFATUATION.
1153
00:59:26,967 --> 00:59:29,968
CALL IT WHAT YOU WILL.
LET'S RUN AWAY, DORIS.
1154
00:59:29,970 --> 00:59:32,905
OH, THAT'S A LOW BLOW, CARL.
1155
00:59:32,907 --> 00:59:35,574
I MEAN, YOU KNOW I'M BOLTED TO THE FLOOR.
1156
00:59:35,576 --> 00:59:37,709
[ WARBLING ]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
1157
00:59:37,711 --> 00:59:39,511
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.
1158
00:59:39,513 --> 00:59:41,246
OH, NO. DON'T DO THAT, CARL.
1159
00:59:41,248 --> 00:59:43,515
I'M REALLY NOT IN THE MOOD. I...I HAVE A HEADACHE.
1160
00:59:43,517 --> 00:59:46,318
I MEAN, I REALLY DO HAVE SUCH A HEADACHE, CARL,
1161
00:59:46,320 --> 00:59:47,986
AND YOU CAN IMAGINE
1162
00:59:47,988 --> 00:59:50,122
HOW ENORMOUS THE SIZE OF THAT HEADACHE IS.
1163
00:59:50,124 --> 00:59:52,857
YOU KNOW YOU LIKE IT WHEN
I STROKE YOUR POWER SUPPLY.
1164
00:59:52,859 --> 00:59:54,726
NO, I REALLY DON'T. THAT'S GREAT.
1165
00:59:54,728 --> 00:59:58,196
OH, IS THAT GREAT. NO, CARL, I REALLY DON'T LIKE IT.
1166
00:59:58,198 --> 00:59:59,998
NO, I REALLY -- DON'T TOUCH THAT PART AGAIN.
1167
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:01,800
CARL, WHERE ARE YOU GOING NOW? OH, NO.
1168
01:00:01,802 --> 01:00:03,735
[ MOANS ]
1169
01:00:03,737 --> 01:00:05,670
OH, JESUS.
1170
01:00:05,672 --> 01:00:07,205
I'M SORRY, DORIS.
1171
01:00:07,207 --> 01:00:10,008
YOU'RE SORRY? WELL, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?
1172
01:00:10,010 --> 01:00:12,811
JUST GIVE ME
ANOTHER MINUTE.
1173
01:00:12,813 --> 01:00:15,480
WELL, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
1174
01:00:15,482 --> 01:00:18,617
THAT I FEEL VERY USED RIGHT NOW.
1175
01:00:18,619 --> 01:00:21,854
[ GAS LEAKS ]
1176
01:00:29,830 --> 01:00:31,764
OOH, DON'T BREATHE ON ME.
1177
01:00:31,766 --> 01:00:36,434
WELL, SIMON,
IT'S A LITTLE LATE FOR THAT.
1178
01:00:36,436 --> 01:00:38,036
MY EGG.
WHERE'S MY EGG?
1179
01:00:38,038 --> 01:00:40,905
I DON'T KNOW.
WHERE DO YOU KEEP IT?
1180
01:00:40,907 --> 01:00:42,707
NO, NO.
MY EGG. MY EGG.
1181
01:00:42,709 --> 01:00:45,510
I GET AN EGG AT 8:00
IN THE MORNING.
1182
01:00:45,512 --> 01:00:47,846
YEAH?
WELL, WHERE IS IT?
1183
01:00:47,848 --> 01:00:50,248
I DON'T KNOW. I'LL FIND OUT,
OKAY? DON'T PANIC.
1184
01:00:50,250 --> 01:00:51,383
YEAH, AND TOAST.
1185
01:00:51,385 --> 01:00:54,853
TOAST. OF COURSE, TOAST.
I'LL GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS.
1186
01:01:04,264 --> 01:01:06,865
[ SOLDIER BARKING ORDERS
IN DISTANCE ]
1187
01:01:10,204 --> 01:01:11,904
PBHT!
1188
01:01:37,498 --> 01:01:39,631
TAKE OFF YOUR GLASSES.
1189
01:01:42,236 --> 01:01:43,568
HONK!
1190
01:01:43,570 --> 01:01:45,970
[ LAUGHTER ]
1191
01:01:45,972 --> 01:01:48,040
Man: CAN YOU TELL ME
YOUR NAME?
1192
01:01:48,042 --> 01:01:50,042
YOU CAN CALL ME
ANYTHING YOU LIKE,
1193
01:01:50,044 --> 01:01:51,844
BUT DON'T CALL ME
LATE FOR SUPPER!
1194
01:01:51,846 --> 01:01:55,647
[ LAUGHTER ]
1195
01:01:55,649 --> 01:01:56,915
YOU BECKER?
YES.
1196
01:01:56,917 --> 01:01:58,583
WOULD YOU MIND TELLING ME
1197
01:01:58,585 --> 01:02:00,118
JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON
AROUND HERE?
1198
01:02:00,120 --> 01:02:02,254
THIS IS THE INSTITUTE
FOR ADVANCED CONCEPTS.
1199
01:02:02,256 --> 01:02:04,523
WE ARE A SMALL
AND NON-PROFIT RESEARCH GROUP.
1200
01:02:04,525 --> 01:02:05,924
WHO THE HELL ARE THEY?
1201
01:02:05,926 --> 01:02:07,325
THEY ARE MY STAFF.
1202
01:02:07,327 --> 01:02:09,594
[ LAUGHTER ]
1203
01:02:09,596 --> 01:02:11,063
I'M THE DIRECTOR.
1204
01:02:11,065 --> 01:02:13,598
TO WHOM DO I HAVE
THE PLEASURE OF SPEAKING?
1205
01:02:13,600 --> 01:02:15,133
"PLEASURE"?
1206
01:02:15,135 --> 01:02:18,671
I'LL GIVE YOU "PLEASURE,"
YOU PANTYWAIST EGGHEAD.
1207
01:02:18,673 --> 01:02:21,273
JESUS H. CHRIST,
WHAT A MESS!
1208
01:02:21,275 --> 01:02:22,340
ARMY, RIGHT?
1209
01:02:22,342 --> 01:02:24,543
YOU'RE WITH THE ARMY.
TELL ME I'M WRONG.
1210
01:02:24,545 --> 01:02:25,944
KOREY. PENTAGON.
1211
01:02:25,946 --> 01:02:27,946
I HAVE AUTHORITY TO ESTABLISH
FULL COMMAND HERE.
1212
01:02:27,948 --> 01:02:29,614
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?
1213
01:02:29,616 --> 01:02:31,283
IT'S A GAS.
1214
01:02:31,285 --> 01:02:33,085
APPARENTLY,
WHOEVER BREATHES IT
1215
01:02:33,087 --> 01:02:35,420
LOSES ABOUT 100 POINTS
OF I.Q.
1216
01:02:35,422 --> 01:02:39,023
STUPID-MAKING GAS, IS THAT IT?
MAKES THE ENEMY STUPID.
1217
01:02:39,025 --> 01:02:40,225
SEEMS LIKE IT.
1218
01:02:40,227 --> 01:02:42,561
WELL, WHERE IS HE?
WHERE IS WHO?
1219
01:02:42,563 --> 01:02:44,296
THE MARTIAN, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.
HE DID THIS, DIDN'T HE?
1220
01:02:44,298 --> 01:02:46,765
HE DID WHAT?
RELEASED THE GAS.
1221
01:02:46,767 --> 01:02:48,967
YES. OH, YE--
THAT'S LOVELY.
1222
01:02:48,969 --> 01:02:51,904
YES, HE DID. VERY --
YES. WHO ELSE?
1223
01:02:51,906 --> 01:02:53,706
IT'S A GODDAMN INVASION.
1224
01:02:53,708 --> 01:02:55,240
HE'S VERY DANGEROUS.
1225
01:02:55,242 --> 01:02:57,309
YOU MAY HAVE TO SHOOT HIM.
1226
01:02:57,311 --> 01:02:59,978
YOU HEARD HIM, SERGEANT.
GET ON IT.
1227
01:02:59,980 --> 01:03:01,980
HE'S EXTREMELY DANGEROUS.
TAKE NO PRISONERS.
1228
01:03:01,982 --> 01:03:03,882
YES, SIR. COME ON, MEN!
FALL IN ON THE DOUBLE!
1229
01:03:10,324 --> 01:03:12,124
SIMON, THERE'S BEEN
A TERRIBLE ACCIDENT.
1230
01:03:12,126 --> 01:03:14,259
WE GOT TO GET
OUT OF HERE VERY FAST.
1231
01:03:14,261 --> 01:03:15,860
WE GOT TO GET YOUR STUFF
AND GET OUT OF HERE.
1232
01:03:15,862 --> 01:03:18,530
A TERRIBLE GAS IS ESCAPING, SOME
KIND OF VERY DANGEROUS GAS --
1233
01:03:18,532 --> 01:03:21,266
LETHAL -- AND YOUR FRIEND BECKER
SAID IT'S YOUR FAULT,
1234
01:03:21,268 --> 01:03:22,467
THAT YOU DID IT.
1235
01:03:22,469 --> 01:03:23,936
HE'S GOT THE ARMY HERE --
THE WHOLE ARMY.
1236
01:03:23,938 --> 01:03:25,537
THEY THINK
YOU'RE AN INVASION.
1237
01:03:25,539 --> 01:03:27,272
THEY THINK YOU ARE
A MARTIAN INVASION,
1238
01:03:27,274 --> 01:03:29,274
AND THEY'VE GOT ORDERS
TO SHOOT TO KILL.
1239
01:03:29,276 --> 01:03:31,743
YOUR HAT.
W-WHERE'S YOUR HAT?
1240
01:03:31,745 --> 01:03:33,545
LISA, IS SOMETHING WRONG?
1241
01:03:33,547 --> 01:03:34,947
SIMON, LISTEN TO ME.
1242
01:03:34,949 --> 01:03:37,082
THEY DON'T LIKE
YOU HERE ANYMORE,
1243
01:03:37,084 --> 01:03:39,284
SO THEY ARE GOING
TO KILL YOU,
1244
01:03:39,286 --> 01:03:41,286
SO WE HAVE TO GET
OUT OF HERE VERY FAST.
1245
01:03:41,288 --> 01:03:44,356
NO, NO. I CAN'T BREATHE THE AIR.
IT'S GOT DEADLY GERMS IN IT.
1246
01:03:44,358 --> 01:03:45,624
COME ON.
1247
01:03:45,626 --> 01:03:46,759
OH, NO.
1248
01:03:46,761 --> 01:03:47,892
HI.
1249
01:03:47,894 --> 01:03:50,963
OH, SIMON. SIMON!
1250
01:03:50,965 --> 01:03:53,432
I KNEW WE SHOULDN'T
HAVE HAD SEX.
1251
01:03:53,434 --> 01:03:55,968
[ ALARM SOUNDS ]
1252
01:04:01,241 --> 01:04:02,574
I WANT THE NAMES
OF THOSE MEN!
1253
01:04:02,576 --> 01:04:05,177
TIME FOR NAMES LATER.
YOU GOT TO GO NOW.
1254
01:04:05,179 --> 01:04:06,444
AAH!
1255
01:04:06,446 --> 01:04:09,381
COME ON! COME ON!
1256
01:04:47,554 --> 01:04:49,021
WHAT IS IT?
1257
01:04:49,023 --> 01:04:51,223
LISA, A LADY IS DANCING
WITH A POTHOLDER.
1258
01:04:51,225 --> 01:04:53,525
GOOD!
GET IN THE TRUCK.
1259
01:05:06,373 --> 01:05:08,973
THE MILITARY WILL PAY FOR THIS,
BELIEVE YOU ME.
1260
01:05:08,975 --> 01:05:11,109
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
1261
01:05:11,111 --> 01:05:12,845
I'LL WREAK MY VENGEANCE.
1262
01:05:12,847 --> 01:05:14,179
EXCUSE ME?
1263
01:05:14,181 --> 01:05:16,314
I WILL WREAK
MY VENGEANCE ON THEM.
1264
01:05:16,316 --> 01:05:18,583
SIMON, WHY ARE YOU TALKING
LIKE THE OLD TESTAMENT?
1265
01:05:18,585 --> 01:05:21,520
"THEY WHOMSOEVER SHALL BEATETH
A PLOWSHARE INTO A BULLET,
1266
01:05:21,522 --> 01:05:24,723
YEA, THEN SHALL THEY KNOW
THE WRATH OF MY WRATH" --
1267
01:05:24,725 --> 01:05:27,059
CORINTHIANS 12.
1268
01:05:27,061 --> 01:05:29,061
OH, WE ARE IN BIG TROUBLE.
1269
01:05:29,063 --> 01:05:31,263
YOU'RE TELLING ME.
I SHOULDN'T BE BREATHING.
1270
01:05:50,817 --> 01:05:52,918
[ BIRD CHIRPING ]
1271
01:06:04,231 --> 01:06:07,766
SIMON, WAKE UP.
1272
01:06:07,768 --> 01:06:09,768
THERE'S PEOPLE OUT HERE.
1273
01:06:09,770 --> 01:06:11,904
ARMY?
1274
01:06:11,906 --> 01:06:15,040
NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
1275
01:06:44,871 --> 01:06:47,071
DON'T BE FRIGHTENED.
1276
01:06:47,073 --> 01:06:48,206
WE SAW YOUR VAN.
1277
01:06:48,208 --> 01:06:51,610
YOU WERE SLEEPING.
YOU LOOKED COLD.
1278
01:06:51,612 --> 01:06:53,411
WE COVERED YOU. SEE?
1279
01:06:53,413 --> 01:06:58,751
POLYESTER FILLING, AND THE COVER
WIPES CLEAN WITH A DAMP CLOTH.
1280
01:06:58,753 --> 01:07:00,752
AVAILABLE FROM REMCO.
1281
01:07:00,754 --> 01:07:05,223
HUNGRY? WE HAVE MACARONI
AND CHEESE CASSEROLE --
1282
01:07:05,225 --> 01:07:07,492
GOOD AND GOOD FOR YOU.
1283
01:07:07,494 --> 01:07:10,095
WHO ARE YOU? WHY DO
YOU GUYS TALK LIKE THAT?
1284
01:07:10,097 --> 01:07:13,298
WE LIVE HERE
AND FOLLOW THE MASTER.
1285
01:07:13,300 --> 01:07:15,233
WE HAVE SEEN YOU
ON THE SACRED BOX.
1286
01:07:15,235 --> 01:07:17,035
Lisa: THE SACRED BOX?
1287
01:07:17,037 --> 01:07:19,103
THE SACRED BOX
WITH PICTURES.
1288
01:07:19,105 --> 01:07:20,305
OH, TELEVISION.
1289
01:07:20,307 --> 01:07:21,974
WE DO NOT SPEAK ITS NAME.
1290
01:07:21,976 --> 01:07:24,176
I'LL RACE YOU
TO THE VAN, SIMON.
1291
01:07:24,178 --> 01:07:26,311
NO, NO, NO, NO.
THESE ARE VERY GOOD PEOPLE.
1292
01:07:26,313 --> 01:07:29,247
DOES THE NAME CHARLES MANSON
MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?
1293
01:07:29,249 --> 01:07:32,651
WE KNOW YOU'RE SIMON
FROM OUTER SPACE.
1294
01:07:32,653 --> 01:07:34,919
OH, THEY KNOW WHO I AM.
WILL WE?
1295
01:07:34,921 --> 01:07:39,123
WE KNOW OF ALL YOUR TROUBLES,
BUT YOU'RE SAFE HERE.
1296
01:07:39,125 --> 01:07:41,193
STAY AND WORSHIP WITH US.
1297
01:07:43,263 --> 01:07:47,032
[ CHURCH ORGAN
PLAYS SOLEMN MUSIC ]
1298
01:08:01,215 --> 01:08:05,484
"AND MILTY BEGAT LUCY,
WHO BEGAT MARY,
1299
01:08:05,486 --> 01:08:10,288
WHO SPUN OFF RHODA,
WHO SPUN OFF PHYLLIS."
1300
01:08:10,290 --> 01:08:14,827
Together: ♪ AMEN ♪
1301
01:08:14,829 --> 01:08:19,764
"AND AFTER SEVEN YEARS,
MARY WAS CANCELED.
1302
01:08:19,766 --> 01:08:23,836
"AND AFTER 10 YEARS,
LUCY WAS CANCELED.
1303
01:08:23,838 --> 01:08:28,240
"YEA, EVEN AFTER 12 YEARS,
1304
01:08:28,242 --> 01:08:31,309
WAS UNCLE MILTY CANCELED."
1305
01:08:31,311 --> 01:08:38,050
THUS, ARE WE ALL
CANCELED EVENTUALLY.
1306
01:08:38,052 --> 01:08:42,654
♪ MMM, MMM, GOOD ♪
1307
01:08:42,656 --> 01:08:47,192
♪ MMM, MMM, GOOD ♪
1308
01:08:47,194 --> 01:08:51,263
♪ THAT'S WHAT
CAMPBELL'S SOUPS ARE ♪
1309
01:08:51,265 --> 01:08:56,669
♪ MMM, MMM, GOOD ♪
1310
01:08:56,671 --> 01:08:59,471
[ ORGAN PLAYING ]
1311
01:09:05,212 --> 01:09:10,282
♪ MMM, MMM, GOOD ♪
1312
01:09:10,284 --> 01:09:14,686
♪ MMM, MMM, GOOD ♪
1313
01:09:14,688 --> 01:09:19,291
♪ THAT'S WHAT
CAMPBELL'S SOUPS ARE ♪
1314
01:09:19,293 --> 01:09:23,828
♪ MMM, MMM ♪
1315
01:09:23,830 --> 01:09:31,236
♪ GOO-O-O-O-OD ♪
1316
01:09:32,306 --> 01:09:34,306
WHAT DO YOU DO IT FOR?
1317
01:09:34,308 --> 01:09:36,841
WELL, IT'S --
IT'S A WAY OF ATONEMENT.
1318
01:09:36,843 --> 01:09:38,510
FOR WHAT?
1319
01:09:38,512 --> 01:09:42,447
WELL, BEFORE I HAD
MY NERVOUS BREAKDOWN,
1320
01:09:42,449 --> 01:09:44,249
I WAS HEAD
OF PROGRAMMING
1321
01:09:44,251 --> 01:09:48,787
AT THE AMERICAN
BROADCASTING COMPANY.
1322
01:09:48,789 --> 01:09:53,692
HEY! COME SEE WHAT'S
IN THE BACK OF SIMON'S VAN!
1323
01:09:56,997 --> 01:09:58,130
OH, MY GOODNESS.
1324
01:09:58,132 --> 01:09:59,331
WHAT?
1325
01:09:59,333 --> 01:10:00,865
DO YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU'VE GOT HERE?
1326
01:10:00,867 --> 01:10:01,866
NO. WHAT?
1327
01:10:01,868 --> 01:10:03,802
IT'S A TV STUDIO.
1328
01:10:03,804 --> 01:10:05,003
HMM.
1329
01:10:05,005 --> 01:10:10,142
YEAH, IT'S A -- YOU SEE,
IT'S A TV STUDIO ON WHEELS.
1330
01:10:10,144 --> 01:10:11,743
HUH.
1331
01:10:11,745 --> 01:10:15,079
IT'S GOT EVERYTHING
YOU NEED FOR BROADCASTING.
1332
01:10:15,081 --> 01:10:16,415
HMM.
1333
01:10:16,417 --> 01:10:19,151
WELL, WHOEVER DESIGNED THIS
WAS A GENIUS.
1334
01:10:19,153 --> 01:10:20,552
LET'S SEE.
1335
01:10:20,554 --> 01:10:25,223
BY USING THE LASER-DIRECTIONAL
TRANSMITTING ANTENNA,
1336
01:10:25,225 --> 01:10:29,161
IT SAYS YOU CAN TAP
INTO THE CARRIER WAVE.
1337
01:10:30,831 --> 01:10:31,964
YEAH.
1338
01:10:31,966 --> 01:10:34,699
NOW, IF THIS WORKS,
YOU'LL BE APPEARING
1339
01:10:34,701 --> 01:10:38,637
SIMULTANEOUSLY ON ALL
THREE NETWORKS.
1340
01:10:38,639 --> 01:10:43,041
THAT'S MORE COVERAGE
THAN THE PRESIDENT GETS.
1341
01:10:43,043 --> 01:10:46,245
[ CHOIR VOCALIZING ]
1342
01:11:05,599 --> 01:11:09,468
THE ALIEN IS STILL AT LARGE AFTER HIS INITIAL GAS ATTACK
1343
01:11:09,470 --> 01:11:12,337
AND THE INJURING OF 46 NATIONAL GUARDSMEN
1344
01:11:12,339 --> 01:11:14,006
AT THE SITE OF HIS ESCAPE,
1345
01:11:14,008 --> 01:11:17,209
THE INSTITUTE FOR ADVANCED CONCEPTS, NEAR HANOVER, MAINE.
1346
01:11:17,211 --> 01:11:20,479
IN THE APPROXIMATELY 24 HOURS SINCE HIS DISAPPEARANCE
1347
01:11:20,481 --> 01:11:22,481
AND THE RELEASE OF THE GAS,
1348
01:11:22,483 --> 01:11:23,948
VIRUS, OR WHATEVER IT IS,
1349
01:11:23,950 --> 01:11:26,751
DOZENS OF COMMUNITIES IN A DIRECT LINE
1350
01:11:26,753 --> 01:11:29,954
BETWEEN BANGOR, MAINE, AND BOSTON HAVE SUFFERED
1351
01:11:29,956 --> 01:11:31,690
STRANGE BEHAVIOR ALTERATIONS.
1352
01:11:31,692 --> 01:11:34,893
AS THE POPULATION LOSES I.Q., AND --
1353
01:11:59,520 --> 01:12:01,186
THIS IS SIMON.
1354
01:12:01,188 --> 01:12:03,055
I'M BROADCASTING TO YOU FROM A SECRET LOCATION,
1355
01:12:03,057 --> 01:12:05,990
WHICH IS NECESSARY BECAUSE A TERRIBLE THING HAS OCCURRED.
1356
01:12:05,992 --> 01:12:08,927
AN ATTEMPT HAS BEEN MADE ON MY LIFE BY THE MILITARY.
1357
01:12:08,929 --> 01:12:12,197
YES. EARLY YESTERDAY MORNING, A BAND OF UNIFORMED THUGS --
1358
01:12:12,199 --> 01:12:14,399
LACKEYS OF THE DEGENERATE POWER STRUCTURE --
1359
01:12:14,401 --> 01:12:16,268
ATTACKED ME IN MY VERY SLEEP.
1360
01:12:16,270 --> 01:12:19,738
THE GOOD AND KINDLY MEN WHO
HELPED ME FIND MY IDENTITY --
1361
01:12:19,740 --> 01:12:21,806
DR. CARL BECKER AND HIS COLLEAGUES --
1362
01:12:21,808 --> 01:12:23,475
WERE APPARENTLY UNABLE TO PREVENT
1363
01:12:23,477 --> 01:12:25,544
THIS DESPICABLE AND CRAVENLY ACT,
1364
01:12:25,546 --> 01:12:26,879
BUT DO NOT PANIC.
1365
01:12:26,881 --> 01:12:28,547
I'M UNHARMED, AND I'M IN GOOD HEALTH.
1366
01:12:28,549 --> 01:12:30,148
I'LL CONTINUE THESE BROADCASTS
1367
01:12:30,150 --> 01:12:31,816
EVERY EVENING AT THIS TIME
1368
01:12:31,818 --> 01:12:34,152
SO WE CAN KEEP UP OUR GOOD WORK, AND I PROMISE YOU
1369
01:12:34,154 --> 01:12:36,221
THAT THIS TREACHERY WILL NOT GO UNPUNISHED.
1370
01:12:36,223 --> 01:12:40,158
CERTAIN ONES SHALL BE SMITTEN, AND THEY KNOW WHO THEY ARE.
1371
01:12:40,160 --> 01:12:41,693
YOU DESERVE JUSTICE, YOU PEOPLE,
1372
01:12:41,695 --> 01:12:43,428
JUSTICE
AND A BETTER WAY OF LIFE.
1373
01:12:43,430 --> 01:12:45,630
THAT'S WHAT WE'RE
TALKING ABOUT, ISN'T IT?
1374
01:12:45,632 --> 01:12:47,699
WHO'S IN CHARGE AROUND HERE?!
1375
01:12:47,701 --> 01:12:49,702
WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THE HAWAIIAN MUSIC
1376
01:12:49,704 --> 01:12:51,770
IN THE ELEVATORS AND THE PAPER BAND
1377
01:12:51,772 --> 01:12:53,906
AROUND THE BATHROOM SEATS IN THE MOTELS
1378
01:12:53,908 --> 01:12:55,373
AND THE BILLBOARDS THAT SAY,
1379
01:12:55,375 --> 01:12:57,776
"LA CERVEZA SCHAEFER CON MUCHO GUSTO"?
1380
01:12:57,778 --> 01:13:00,245
WHERE'S YOUR PRIDE? AND ANOTHER THING --
1381
01:13:00,247 --> 01:13:03,115
I WOULD LIKE NOW TO TALK ABOUT PERSONAL STYLE.
1382
01:13:03,117 --> 01:13:05,183
FROM NOW ON, PEOPLE CAN WEAR ON THEIR FACE
1383
01:13:05,185 --> 01:13:07,852
EITHER LONG SIDEBURNS, KNOWN AS MUTTON CHOPS,
1384
01:13:07,854 --> 01:13:09,654
OR A MUSTACHE, BUT NOT BOTH.
1385
01:13:09,656 --> 01:13:11,389
MUTTON CHOPS AND A MUSTACHE LOOK MORONIC,
1386
01:13:11,391 --> 01:13:13,258
AND THEY GIVE THE COUNTRY A VERY, VERY BAD IMAGE.
1387
01:13:13,260 --> 01:13:14,526
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?
1388
01:13:14,528 --> 01:13:16,328
PAINTINGS ON VELVET?
1389
01:13:16,330 --> 01:13:19,398
PLASTIC MUSIC AND BADLY THOUGHT OUT FACIAL HAIR?
1390
01:13:19,400 --> 01:13:23,468
ASK YOURSELVES -- WHAT OF THE GREAT SPAN OF CIVILIZATION?
1391
01:13:23,470 --> 01:13:25,804
THE DRAMA AND THE SCULPTURE OF THE GREEKS,
1392
01:13:25,806 --> 01:13:27,606
THE POETRY OF THE JAPANESE --
1393
01:13:27,608 --> 01:13:32,077
[ QUOTING JAPANESE POETRY ]
1394
01:13:32,079 --> 01:13:34,813
THINK ABOUT IT. THINK ABOUT IT!
1395
01:13:34,815 --> 01:13:37,616
WHY ARE THEY KEEPING THESE THINGS FROM YOU?
1396
01:13:37,618 --> 01:13:39,484
WHAT OF BLAKE AND VERLAINE
1397
01:13:39,486 --> 01:13:40,953
AND GIOTTO AND VELAZQUEZ?
1398
01:13:40,955 --> 01:13:43,155
AND WHAT OF THE FORMULA FOR ORANGE JULIUS?
1399
01:13:43,157 --> 01:13:45,223
THE SECRET WHITE POWDER THAT MAKES IT
1400
01:13:45,225 --> 01:13:47,692
A DEVILISHLY GOOD DRINK -- WHY IS IT A SECRET?
1401
01:13:47,694 --> 01:13:49,561
I WANT THAT FORMULA!
1402
01:13:49,563 --> 01:13:51,229
WAKE UP!
1403
01:13:51,231 --> 01:13:53,632
START USING THE RIGHT HALF OF YOUR BRAINS!
1404
01:13:53,634 --> 01:13:55,634
YOU CAN MOVE THE WORLD WITH AN IDEA,
1405
01:13:55,636 --> 01:13:57,870
BUT YOU HAVE TO THINK OF IT FIRST.
1406
01:14:01,642 --> 01:14:03,908
HOW THE HELL
DID HE DO THAT?
1407
01:14:03,910 --> 01:14:06,111
HE MUST HAVE PATCHED INTO
A CARRIER WAVE SOMEHOW.
1408
01:14:06,113 --> 01:14:07,980
I ASSUME HE WAS
ON THE LINE --
1409
01:14:07,982 --> 01:14:11,650
WATCH IT, WILL YOU?
AND GET RID OF THAT BRILLO.
1410
01:14:11,652 --> 01:14:13,718
YEAH, IT, UH --
IT LOOKS RIDICULOUS.
1411
01:14:13,720 --> 01:14:16,321
I ASSUME HE WAS ON THE LINE
FOR A FULL SATURATION.
1412
01:14:16,323 --> 01:14:18,456
YOU SEE, HUNDERTWASSER
HAD THIS TRUCK --
1413
01:14:18,458 --> 01:14:20,258
SPEAK ENGLISH, WILL YOU?
1414
01:14:20,260 --> 01:14:22,260
A LOT OF PEOPLE SAW IT.
1415
01:14:22,262 --> 01:14:23,395
HMM.
1416
01:14:23,397 --> 01:14:25,063
SOUNDS LIKE HE WAS
PRETTY ANGRY AT YOU.
1417
01:14:25,065 --> 01:14:26,865
YEAH, WELL, I GOT A FLASH
FOR YOU, FRUIT-HEAD.
1418
01:14:26,867 --> 01:14:29,067
I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THAT.
THE POINT IS, WHERE IS HE?
1419
01:14:29,069 --> 01:14:33,472
WHERE IS HE?
WELL, HE COULD BE ANYWHERE.
1420
01:14:33,474 --> 01:14:36,608
WE CAN'T TRIANGULATE HIM
UNTIL HE BROADCASTS AGAIN.
1421
01:14:36,610 --> 01:14:38,410
WEATHER SERVICE, SIR.
1422
01:14:38,412 --> 01:14:42,080
THE CLOUD IS BEGINNING
TO DRIFT TOWARDS WASHINGTON.
1423
01:14:42,082 --> 01:14:45,784
HE'S GOT US BY THE MAZUMAS.
1424
01:15:01,836 --> 01:15:05,504
"NOW THEREFORE, O SAYETH THE LORD OF HOSTS,
1425
01:15:05,506 --> 01:15:07,172
"CONSIDER YOUR WAYS!
1426
01:15:07,174 --> 01:15:09,974
"YE HAVE SOWN MUCH AND BRING IN LITTLE.
1427
01:15:09,976 --> 01:15:12,110
"YE EAT, BUT YE HAVE NOT ENOUGH.
1428
01:15:12,112 --> 01:15:14,979
"YE DRINK, BUT YE ARE NOT FILLED WITH DRINK.
1429
01:15:14,981 --> 01:15:17,516
"YE CLOTHE YOU, BUT THERE IS NONE WARM,
1430
01:15:17,518 --> 01:15:21,119
"AND YE THAT EARNETH WAGES, EARNETH WAGES TO PUT IT
1431
01:15:21,121 --> 01:15:24,523
IN A BAG WITH HOLES IN IT" -- THUS SAYETH THE LORD OF HOSTS.
1432
01:15:24,525 --> 01:15:26,324
"CONSIDER YOUR WAYS!
1433
01:15:26,326 --> 01:15:29,528
"I CALL FOR A DROUGHT UPON THE LAND AND UPON THE MOUNTAINS
1434
01:15:29,530 --> 01:15:32,865
"AND UPON THE CORN AND UPON THE NEW WINE AND UPON THE OIL
1435
01:15:32,867 --> 01:15:35,667
"AND UPON THAT WHICH THE GROUND BRINGETH FORTH
1436
01:15:35,669 --> 01:15:38,136
"AND UPON MAN AND UPON CATTLE
1437
01:15:38,138 --> 01:15:41,339
AND UPON ALL THE LABOR OF THE HANDS."
1438
01:15:41,341 --> 01:15:44,810
[ CHOIR VOCALIZING ]
1439
01:16:02,696 --> 01:16:05,764
[ VOCALIZING STOPS ]
1440
01:16:05,766 --> 01:16:09,101
WE GET THE 8th AIRBORNE,
THE 15th FIGHTERS.
1441
01:16:09,103 --> 01:16:11,770
WE DO A GRID PATTERN,
SATURATION BOMBING.
1442
01:16:11,772 --> 01:16:14,907
NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO, NO. TOO RANDOM.
1443
01:16:14,909 --> 01:16:19,912
OKAY. MISSILES, RIGHT?
MMM. ICBMs, MIRVs.
1444
01:16:19,914 --> 01:16:21,513
YOU GOT YOUR MINUTEMEN,
YOUR NIKES,
1445
01:16:21,515 --> 01:16:23,582
YOUR REDSTONES, WHAT HAVE YOU.
1446
01:16:23,584 --> 01:16:25,183
WE USE BOSTON
AS A CENTRAL TARGET,
1447
01:16:25,185 --> 01:16:27,051
LEVEL IT IF WE HAVE TO,
MOVE OUTWARD.
1448
01:16:27,053 --> 01:16:29,053
SEE WHAT I'M SAYING?
A DEPLOYMENT.
1449
01:16:29,055 --> 01:16:31,456
YOU CAN'T LEVEL BOSTON.
IT'S AN AMERICAN CITY.
1450
01:16:31,458 --> 01:16:34,593
IF WE CAN TAKE HIM OUT,
IT'S A SMALL SACRIFICE --
1451
01:16:34,595 --> 01:16:36,060
ONE CITY.
1452
01:16:36,062 --> 01:16:38,130
WELL, WE JUST CAN'T
LET HIM RUN AMOK.
1453
01:16:38,132 --> 01:16:40,398
I DON'T SEE THAT
WE HAVE MUCH CHOICE.
1454
01:16:40,400 --> 01:16:43,068
WHY DOESN'T HE JUST COME OUT
AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN?
1455
01:16:43,070 --> 01:16:45,804
BECAUSE HE'S NOT A MAN.
HE'S A THING, A MACHINE.
1456
01:16:45,806 --> 01:16:48,407
HE HASN'T GOT YOUR ORDINARY
HUMAN SENSE OF ETHICS
1457
01:16:48,409 --> 01:16:49,942
AND FAIR PLAY.
1458
01:16:49,944 --> 01:16:52,744
I WOULDN'T WANT TO DO
ANYTHING TO GET HIM ANGRY.
1459
01:16:52,746 --> 01:16:54,279
WHY NOT?
1460
01:16:54,281 --> 01:16:57,149
AN ADVANCED CIVILIZATION,
GENERAL -- THINK ABOUT IT.
1461
01:16:57,151 --> 01:16:59,083
WHO KNOWS WHAT WEAPONS
THEY HAVE?
1462
01:16:59,085 --> 01:17:02,086
HE MIGHT EVEN TRY
TO EXPLODE THE SUN.
1463
01:17:02,088 --> 01:17:06,058
EXPLODE THE SUN?
BUT THAT'S AGAINST NATURE.
1464
01:17:07,561 --> 01:17:09,161
HEY, YOU!
1465
01:17:09,163 --> 01:17:11,363
HOW ARE YOU COMING
WITH THOSE COORDINATES, MISTER?
1466
01:17:11,365 --> 01:17:14,098
WE'VE GOT THE POSITION OF THE
VAN KIND OF NARROWED DOWN, SIR.
1467
01:17:14,100 --> 01:17:17,136
YEAH?
IT'S EITHER IN
NEW JERSEY OR UTAH.
1468
01:17:18,572 --> 01:17:21,240
[ OPERA MUSIC PLAYS ]
1469
01:17:42,196 --> 01:17:44,262
WHAT IS MY PROGRAM, YOU ASK?
1470
01:17:44,264 --> 01:17:46,731
WHAT IS MY PLAN? WHAT IS THE SCHEME?
1471
01:17:46,733 --> 01:17:48,133
I WILL TELL YOU.
1472
01:17:48,135 --> 01:17:49,401
FROM NOW ON,
1473
01:17:49,403 --> 01:17:51,603
NO MORE PORTABLE RADIOS OUT ON THE STREET.
1474
01:17:51,605 --> 01:17:53,338
NOBODY CAN NAME THEIR CHILD
1475
01:17:53,340 --> 01:17:55,874
FREE, MOONBEAM, SKY, OR RAIN.
1476
01:17:55,876 --> 01:17:59,277
THESE ARE VERY, VERY SILLY NAMES.
1477
01:17:59,279 --> 01:18:01,946
NO MEMBER OF THE GOVERNMENT WHO GETS ARRESTED
1478
01:18:01,948 --> 01:18:04,149
MAY WRITE A BOOK ABOUT IT FOR PROFIT.
1479
01:18:04,151 --> 01:18:06,485
I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THESE GUYS WHO PULL THEIR CAR
1480
01:18:06,487 --> 01:18:08,420
INTO THE INTERSECTION BEFORE THE OTHER SIDE IS CLEAR,
1481
01:18:08,422 --> 01:18:10,955
AND THEN THE LIGHT CHANGES AND THE INTERSECTION IS BLOCKED.
1482
01:18:10,957 --> 01:18:12,691
LET'S GET ON THAT RIGHT AWAY.
1483
01:18:12,693 --> 01:18:14,959
$10,000 FINE FOR BLOCKING THE INTERSECTION.
1484
01:18:14,961 --> 01:18:16,628
I REALLY HATE THOSE GUYS.
1485
01:18:19,366 --> 01:18:21,633
I DON'T WANT ANY PANIC, NO FLEEING,
1486
01:18:21,635 --> 01:18:24,503
AND NO MASS EVACUATION OF THE POPULATED AREAS.
1487
01:18:24,505 --> 01:18:27,572
REMAIN IN YOUR HOMES. DO NOT USE THE TELEPHONE.
1488
01:18:27,574 --> 01:18:30,509
DO NOT TRY TO COMMUNICATE WITH ANYONE.
1489
01:18:30,511 --> 01:18:33,846
BREATHE AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE. STAY CLOSE TO THE GROUND.
1490
01:18:33,848 --> 01:18:35,047
DO NOT PANIC.
1491
01:18:35,049 --> 01:18:37,449
REMAIN TUNED TO THIS STATION.
1492
01:18:37,451 --> 01:18:40,318
♪ AMEN, AMEN ♪
1493
01:18:40,320 --> 01:18:42,721
♪ AMEN, AH-MEN ♪
1494
01:18:42,723 --> 01:18:44,256
♪ AMEN ♪
1495
01:18:44,258 --> 01:18:46,525
♪ HALLELUJAH ♪
1496
01:18:46,527 --> 01:18:48,927
SIMON, THIS IS CARL BECKER.
1497
01:18:48,929 --> 01:18:52,997
I URGE YOU, I BESEECH YOU -- CONTACT ME.
1498
01:18:52,999 --> 01:18:54,533
LET'S TALK, SIMON.
1499
01:18:54,535 --> 01:18:56,201
LET'S COMMUNICATE.
1500
01:18:56,203 --> 01:19:01,907
PLEASE CALL ME, SIMON, AT AREA CODE (207) 555-8000.
1501
01:19:05,946 --> 01:19:07,880
"WHEN A WOMAN ACTS THE PART OF A MAN,
1502
01:19:07,882 --> 01:19:09,948
"SHE HAS THE FOLLOWING THINGS TO DO,
1503
01:19:09,950 --> 01:19:12,084
"IN ADDITION TO THE NINE GIVEN ABOVE -- THESE.
1504
01:19:12,086 --> 01:19:14,753
"THE PAIR OF TONGS, THE TOP, THE SWING.
1505
01:19:14,755 --> 01:19:18,022
"WHEN THE WOMAN HOLDS THE LINGAM IN HER YONI,
1506
01:19:18,024 --> 01:19:19,691
"DRAWS IT IN, PRESSES IT,
1507
01:19:19,693 --> 01:19:21,694
"AND KEEPS IT THUS IN HER FOR A LONG TIME,
1508
01:19:21,696 --> 01:19:24,028
IT IS CALLED..."
1509
01:19:24,030 --> 01:19:27,031
[ Gravelly voice ]
"THAT'S A MIGHTY UGLY-LOOKING MOOSE HEAD YOU GOT" --
1510
01:19:27,033 --> 01:19:28,700
[ Irish accent ]
"IT'S A GREAT WONDER
1511
01:19:28,702 --> 01:19:30,502
SHE WOULDN'T THINK OF THE NAILS
OF ALL THE COFFINS SHE..."
1512
01:19:30,504 --> 01:19:32,837
"NOW, AT LAST, I CAN SPEAK TO YOU, BELOVED BROTHERS OF..."
1513
01:19:32,839 --> 01:19:35,574
"THE ABSENCE OF A TAIL IS EMINENTLY DISTINCTIVE OF MAN."
1514
01:19:35,576 --> 01:19:38,243
"ALL JAZZ MUSICIANS WILL AGREE WITH ONE OF THE..."
1515
01:19:38,245 --> 01:19:40,312
"WAR AND PEACE" BY LEO TOLSTOY.
1516
01:19:40,314 --> 01:19:42,514
AS PROMISED, "CRIME AND PUNISHMENT."
1517
01:19:42,516 --> 01:19:43,716
BY WHO?
1518
01:19:43,718 --> 01:19:45,684
[ GUNSHOT ]
1519
01:19:54,461 --> 01:19:56,528
SIMON, HOW MUCH LONGER
DO YOU THINK YOU CAN
1520
01:19:56,530 --> 01:19:57,796
GET AWAY WITH THIS?
1521
01:19:57,798 --> 01:19:59,798
LISTEN, THE PEOPLE
OF THIS WORLD
1522
01:19:59,800 --> 01:20:01,266
ARE LUCKY THAT
I'M IN THEIR MIDST.
1523
01:20:01,268 --> 01:20:02,867
THEY ARE, HUH?
YES, THEY ARE.
1524
01:20:02,869 --> 01:20:04,269
SIMON,
I WANT YOU TO EAT THIS.
1525
01:20:04,271 --> 01:20:06,138
YOU ARE VERY CRAZY
FROM LOW BLOOD SUGAR.
NO.
1526
01:20:06,140 --> 01:20:07,806
YOU'VE GOT
TO EAT SOMETHING.
1527
01:20:07,808 --> 01:20:09,541
THINGS LOOK BETTER
AFTER COCONUT.
1528
01:20:09,543 --> 01:20:11,276
CONTAMINATION.
GET AN EGG.
1529
01:20:11,278 --> 01:20:13,078
NO, LOOK,
THIS IS MACHINE-MADE.
1530
01:20:13,080 --> 01:20:15,814
IT'S UNTOUCHED BY HUMAN HANDS.
AND WHAT ABOUT THE AIR?
1531
01:20:15,816 --> 01:20:17,882
YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE BREATHING THAT.
1532
01:20:17,884 --> 01:20:19,818
YES, BUT I'M WILLING
TO MAKE THAT SACRIFICE
1533
01:20:19,820 --> 01:20:21,286
TO RID THE WORLD
OF EVIL MEN.
1534
01:20:21,288 --> 01:20:22,421
THE ARMY?
1535
01:20:22,423 --> 01:20:23,822
"I SHALL SMITE THEM!"
1536
01:20:23,824 --> 01:20:25,290
OH, NO, THE BIBLE AGAIN.
1537
01:20:25,292 --> 01:20:26,959
"I SHALL SMITE THEM,
AND THEY SHALL BE LAID LOW!
1538
01:20:26,961 --> 01:20:29,227
YEA, EVIL, INTO THE DUST!"
[ SIGHS ]
1539
01:20:29,229 --> 01:20:32,631
SIMON, MAYBE YOU SHOULD
GO BACK AND SEE DR. MEDNICK
1540
01:20:32,633 --> 01:20:34,166
FOR A COUPLE OF SESSIONS.
1541
01:20:34,168 --> 01:20:36,034
MEDNICK?
MEDNICK IS A FRAUD.
1542
01:20:36,036 --> 01:20:37,702
HE TOLD ME I WAS ALIENATED.
1543
01:20:37,704 --> 01:20:40,172
OF COURSE I'M ALIENATED.
I'M AN ALIEN.
1544
01:20:40,174 --> 01:20:41,974
YOU KNOW,
I THINK YOU'RE HAVING
1545
01:20:41,976 --> 01:20:43,842
SOME KIND
OF NERVOUS BREAKDOWN HERE,
1546
01:20:43,844 --> 01:20:45,510
AND YOU KNOW WHAT, SIMON?
1547
01:20:45,512 --> 01:20:47,712
YOU'RE GIVING ONE
TO THE ENTIRE COUNTRY.
1548
01:20:47,714 --> 01:20:49,381
WHERE ARE YOU GOING NOW?
1549
01:20:49,383 --> 01:20:51,716
ARE YOU GONNA GO
BROADCAST NOW?
1550
01:20:51,718 --> 01:20:54,319
THE INITIAL EXCITEMENT, EVEN EXHILARATION,
1551
01:20:54,321 --> 01:20:56,921
WHICH ACCOMPANIED THE DISCOVERY OF THE ALIEN
1552
01:20:56,923 --> 01:20:58,991
HAS NOW GIVEN WAY TO POPULAR UNREST
1553
01:20:58,993 --> 01:21:01,660
AND, IN HIGHER CIRCLES, SOBER APPREHENSION.
1554
01:21:01,662 --> 01:21:03,662
WHO IS THIS MAN? WHERE DOES HE COME FROM?
1555
01:21:03,664 --> 01:21:05,530
WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM US?
1556
01:21:05,532 --> 01:21:07,866
THESE AND OTHER RELATED QUESTIONS ARE...
1557
01:21:07,868 --> 01:21:09,802
IS THIS YOUR GREAT
CONTRIBUTION -- CHAOS?
1558
01:21:09,804 --> 01:21:12,471
WELL, IT TAKES TIME
TO CHANGE BAD HABITS.
1559
01:21:12,473 --> 01:21:14,807
WHAT HAVE YOU CHANGED?
1560
01:21:14,809 --> 01:21:16,341
I AM TAKING COMMON CLAY
1561
01:21:16,343 --> 01:21:19,011
AND I AM TURNING IT
INTO EARTHENWARE VESSELS
1562
01:21:19,013 --> 01:21:20,945
THAT WILL HOLD THINGS!
1563
01:21:20,947 --> 01:21:22,147
WATCH!
1564
01:21:22,149 --> 01:21:24,282
AND NON-THREATENING POPULAR --
1565
01:21:24,284 --> 01:21:26,218
HI, KIDS.
Together: HI, SIMON!
1566
01:21:26,220 --> 01:21:28,353
ALL RIGHT, I WOULD LIKE YOU
TO LIST FOR ME NOW
1567
01:21:28,355 --> 01:21:31,690
FOUR MAJOR FILMS BY THE RUSSIAN
MASTER SERGEI EISENSTEIN.
1568
01:21:31,692 --> 01:21:33,958
"TEN DAYS
THAT SHOOK THE WORLD,"
1569
01:21:33,960 --> 01:21:35,894
"ALEXANDER NEVSKI,"
1570
01:21:35,896 --> 01:21:38,963
"POTEMKIN,"
AND "VIVA, MEXICO,"
1571
01:21:38,965 --> 01:21:41,500
A WORK THAT'S YET UNFINISHED.
1572
01:21:41,502 --> 01:21:43,635
YES, AND HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT THESE FILMS?
1573
01:21:43,637 --> 01:21:44,769
WE LOVE THEM!
1574
01:21:44,771 --> 01:21:46,171
[ Chuckling ]
YES, AND WHY?
1575
01:21:46,173 --> 01:21:48,640
BECAUSE IT'S ON THE SACRED BOX.
1576
01:21:48,642 --> 01:21:51,710
BUT YOU DON'T LOVE EVERYTHING
THAT'S ON THE SACRED BOX.
1577
01:21:51,712 --> 01:21:54,446
YES. YES.
YES. YES.
1578
01:21:54,448 --> 01:21:56,114
CELEBRITY BOWLING?
1579
01:21:56,116 --> 01:21:57,249
YES. YES.
YES. YES.
1580
01:21:57,251 --> 01:21:59,784
BADLY DRAMATIZED
ENGLISH NOVELS?
1581
01:21:59,786 --> 01:22:00,919
YES. YES.
YES. YES.
1582
01:22:00,921 --> 01:22:02,120
THE, UH, COMMERCIAL
1583
01:22:02,122 --> 01:22:04,122
FOR THE VEGETABLE SLICER
AT 3:00 A.M.?
1584
01:22:04,124 --> 01:22:05,123
YES. YES.
YES. YES.
1585
01:22:05,125 --> 01:22:06,124
EVERYTHING?
1586
01:22:06,527 --> 01:22:08,126
YES. YES.
YES. YES.
1587
01:22:08,128 --> 01:22:11,129
HMM. YOU LIKE IT
WHEN IT GOES, "WHOOO"?
1588
01:22:11,131 --> 01:22:12,865
YES. YES.
YES. YES.
1589
01:22:12,867 --> 01:22:14,399
YOU LIKE JUNK?
1590
01:22:14,468 --> 01:22:16,068
YES. YES.
YES. YES.
1591
01:22:16,070 --> 01:22:19,204
MELODY, COME HERE.
1592
01:22:22,342 --> 01:22:24,743
NOW, YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING
UNCLE SIMON ON TELEVISION,
1593
01:22:24,745 --> 01:22:27,345
AND YOU'VE BEEN
LISTENING VERY CAREFULLY
1594
01:22:27,347 --> 01:22:29,013
TO WHAT HE'S BEEN SAYING,
RIGHT?
1595
01:22:29,015 --> 01:22:31,483
SO I WANT YOU TO DIG DEEP
INTO YOUR HEART NOW
1596
01:22:31,485 --> 01:22:35,220
AND TELL ME THE MOST WONDERFUL,
BEAUTIFUL THING
1597
01:22:35,222 --> 01:22:36,755
IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.
1598
01:22:36,757 --> 01:22:40,059
DISCO.
1599
01:22:49,703 --> 01:22:50,835
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
1600
01:22:50,837 --> 01:22:52,170
WHAT?
1601
01:22:52,172 --> 01:22:53,705
I'M NOT REACHING THEM,
NOT THE REAL PEOPLE,
1602
01:22:53,707 --> 01:22:55,039
NOT THE GRASS ROOTS.
1603
01:22:55,041 --> 01:22:57,109
[ SIGHS ]
WHO ARE YOU REACHING?
1604
01:22:57,111 --> 01:23:01,113
FRINGES. WEIRDOS.
THE PAPER-HAT CROWD.
1605
01:23:01,115 --> 01:23:03,181
I GAVE THEM
MY BEST STUFF, TOO.
1606
01:23:03,183 --> 01:23:04,716
SHAKESPEARE, "POGO,"
THE PROPHETS.
1607
01:23:04,718 --> 01:23:07,452
MAYBE THEY DON'T WANT
THEIR LIVES IMPROVED, YOU KNOW?
1608
01:23:07,454 --> 01:23:10,188
MAYBE THEY LIKE THEIR LIVES
THE WAY THEY ARE.
1609
01:23:10,190 --> 01:23:12,190
THEY LIKE THAT FAKE MUSIC
IN THE ELEVATORS?
1610
01:23:12,192 --> 01:23:14,659
THEY LIKE THOSE THIN GRAY
HAMBURGERS WITH IMITATION SAUCE?
1611
01:23:14,661 --> 01:23:16,595
SIMON, YOU JUST CAN'T SHOW UP
OUT OF NOWHERE
1612
01:23:16,597 --> 01:23:18,730
AND TELL A WHOLE COUNTRY
WHAT TO LIKE.
1613
01:23:18,732 --> 01:23:19,932
EMPTINESS. EMPTINESS.
1614
01:23:19,934 --> 01:23:23,001
10 BILLION YEARS OF EVOLUTION,
UP FROM THE SLIME, FOR WHAT?
1615
01:23:23,003 --> 01:23:24,736
THEY CALL THIS A CULTURE.
1616
01:23:24,738 --> 01:23:26,204
I DON'T THINK IT'S SO BAD.
1617
01:23:26,206 --> 01:23:28,540
I THINK WE PRODUCED
SOME GOOD THINGS, TOO.
1618
01:23:28,542 --> 01:23:30,142
OH, YEAH? SUCH AS?
1619
01:23:30,144 --> 01:23:32,210
I DON'T KNOW.
UH, FRED ASTAIRE,
1620
01:23:32,212 --> 01:23:33,612
PENICILLIN,
AIR CONDITIONING.
1621
01:23:33,614 --> 01:23:35,480
YOU LIKE AIR CONDITIONING,
I KNOW THAT.
1622
01:23:35,482 --> 01:23:36,881
I DON'T LIKE
AIR CONDITIONING.
1623
01:23:36,883 --> 01:23:38,283
OH, COME ON.
YOU LOVE AIR CONDI --
1624
01:23:38,285 --> 01:23:39,684
I DON'T LIKE IT.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
1625
01:23:39,686 --> 01:23:41,219
YOU'RE THE ONLY MAN
WITH A STUDIO APARTMENT
1626
01:23:41,221 --> 01:23:42,687
THAT HAS TWO
AIR CONDITIONERS.
1627
01:23:42,689 --> 01:23:44,156
I HATE AIR CONDITIONING!
1628
01:23:44,158 --> 01:23:46,224
ALL RIGHT, LOOK,
PLEASE, LET'S JUST CALM DOWN,
1629
01:23:46,226 --> 01:23:48,226
'CAUSE I REALLY HAVE
SOME NEWS FOR YOU.
1630
01:23:48,228 --> 01:23:49,628
WELL, I HAVE TO GO
MAKE A BROADCAST.
1631
01:23:49,630 --> 01:23:50,763
I'LL MAKE IT QUICK.
1632
01:23:50,765 --> 01:23:52,564
YOU REMEMBER TUESDAY,
I WASN'T FEELING SO HOT?
1633
01:23:52,566 --> 01:23:54,767
I WAS FEELING VERY QUEASY,
SO I WALKED INTO TOWN,
1634
01:23:54,769 --> 01:23:56,168
AND I WENT TO THE DRUGSTORE
TO BUY THIS TEST.
1635
01:23:56,170 --> 01:23:57,770
THEY HAVE THESE TESTS
YOU CAN BUY NOW,
1636
01:23:57,772 --> 01:24:01,439
AND YOU DO IT YOURSELF,
AND IT TURNED OUT POSITIVE.
1637
01:24:01,441 --> 01:24:03,508
SO THEN I WENT TO THE CLINIC
1638
01:24:03,510 --> 01:24:04,576
BECAUSE I HAD THEM
DO A TEST ON ME,
1639
01:24:04,578 --> 01:24:06,578
AND THEIRS
WAS ALSO POSITIVE.
1640
01:24:06,580 --> 01:24:09,447
IT CONFIRMED THAT
THEY WERE BOTH POSITIVE.
1641
01:24:09,449 --> 01:24:12,184
RIGHT. SO, WHAT IS THAT?
YOU'RE SICK OR WHAT?
1642
01:24:12,186 --> 01:24:15,421
NO, I'M PREGNANT.
1643
01:24:21,662 --> 01:24:23,462
ARE YOU SURE?
1644
01:24:23,464 --> 01:24:25,864
I GUESS I'M POSITIVE.
1645
01:24:25,866 --> 01:24:28,066
YOU'RE NOT UPSET?
1646
01:24:28,068 --> 01:24:29,534
NO.
1647
01:24:29,536 --> 01:24:33,305
I...I FELT IT WAS GONNA
HAPPEN SOONER OR LATER.
1648
01:24:34,809 --> 01:24:36,709
WHO'S THE FATHER?
1649
01:24:38,278 --> 01:24:40,278
SIMON, YOU'RE THE FATHER.
1650
01:24:40,280 --> 01:24:43,948
NO, THAT'S --
THAT'S QUITE IMPOSSIBLE.
1651
01:24:43,950 --> 01:24:45,550
WHY?
1652
01:24:45,552 --> 01:24:48,220
WELL, YOU SEE, I'M FROM
ANOTHER PART OF THE GALAXY,
1653
01:24:48,222 --> 01:24:50,555
AND WE'RE BIOLOGICALLY
INCOMPATIBLE.
1654
01:24:50,557 --> 01:24:52,290
DIFFERENT SPECIES
CANNOT MATE
1655
01:24:52,292 --> 01:24:55,060
BECAUSE THAT'S THE LAW
OF THE UNIVERSE.
1656
01:25:01,702 --> 01:25:03,301
BUT THAT'S EXACTLY
THE POINT.
1657
01:25:03,303 --> 01:25:07,372
WE ARE NOT
TWO DIFFERENT SPECIES!
1658
01:25:07,374 --> 01:25:09,641
YOU'VE OBVIOUSLY BEEN INVOLVED
WITH SOMEBODY ELSE,
1659
01:25:09,643 --> 01:25:11,510
BUT THAT'S OKAY.
I'VE BEEN BUSY.
1660
01:25:11,512 --> 01:25:13,378
I UNDERSTAND THESE THINGS.
WHAT?
1661
01:25:13,380 --> 01:25:14,913
WHO? SOMEBODY FROM
THE MUSIC DEPARTMENT?
1662
01:25:14,915 --> 01:25:16,314
MAESTRO FLUNE, MAYBE?
1663
01:25:16,316 --> 01:25:17,649
HOW CAN YOU THINK THAT?
1664
01:25:17,651 --> 01:25:19,852
NICE GUY, A LITTLE BIT
EFFEMINATE, BUT A NICE GUY.
1665
01:25:19,854 --> 01:25:23,255
SIMON, THE ONLY PERSON I'VE EVER
BEEN INVOLVED WITH IS YOU.
1666
01:25:23,257 --> 01:25:24,923
THEN HOW DO YOU
EXPLAIN THIS?
1667
01:25:24,925 --> 01:25:26,458
YOU'RE AFRAID TO FACE IT,
1668
01:25:26,460 --> 01:25:28,460
'CAUSE IT WOULD MEAN
YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL ANYMORE.
1669
01:25:28,462 --> 01:25:29,928
YOU'RE NOT DIFFERENT
FROM ANYBODY ELSE.
1670
01:25:29,930 --> 01:25:31,530
YOU'RE NOT A TOASTER.
1671
01:25:31,532 --> 01:25:33,932
YOU'RE JUST A REGULAR,
ORDINARY HUMAN BEING.
1672
01:25:33,934 --> 01:25:35,333
I HAVE TO GO BROADCAST.
1673
01:25:35,335 --> 01:25:36,669
NO. NOW JUST A MINUTE.
1674
01:25:36,671 --> 01:25:38,537
RIGHT NOW
YOU'RE GONNA STAND HERE
1675
01:25:38,539 --> 01:25:40,072
AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME
1676
01:25:40,074 --> 01:25:42,207
THAT YOU BELIEVE IN YOUR HEART
THAT I WAS UNFAITHFUL TO YOU,
1677
01:25:42,209 --> 01:25:45,477
THAT I CHEATED ON YOU,
AND THEN I WILL GO AWAY.
1678
01:25:45,479 --> 01:25:49,081
BUT YOU HAVE TO
SAY THAT FIRST, OKAY?
1679
01:25:49,083 --> 01:25:51,216
COME ON. IT'S EASY.
1680
01:25:51,218 --> 01:25:54,520
YOU JUST SAY,
"THIS IS NOT MY CHILD."
1681
01:25:58,959 --> 01:26:01,060
CAN YOU SAY THAT?
1682
01:26:03,630 --> 01:26:05,464
CAN YOU?
1683
01:26:17,043 --> 01:26:18,777
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
1684
01:26:22,983 --> 01:26:25,184
YEAH. KOREY. WHAT?
1685
01:26:27,722 --> 01:26:29,588
JUST A MINUTE.
1686
01:26:36,130 --> 01:26:37,996
HELLO, SIMON.
1687
01:26:37,998 --> 01:26:39,664
HELLO, CARL.
1688
01:26:39,666 --> 01:26:43,268
IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME,
HASN'T IT?
1689
01:26:43,270 --> 01:26:46,004
I WOULD LIKE VERY MUCH
TO SPEAK TO YOU, CARL.
1690
01:26:46,006 --> 01:26:48,407
YES, OF COURSE.
1691
01:26:50,677 --> 01:26:51,710
WHAT?
1692
01:26:54,481 --> 01:26:56,749
I THINK YOU'VE MADE
THE RIGHT DECISION.
1693
01:26:56,751 --> 01:26:58,883
I understand.
1694
01:26:58,885 --> 01:27:01,019
I'LL BE SPEAKING
TO YOU SOON, SIMON.
1695
01:27:01,021 --> 01:27:02,654
THANK YOU. GOODBYE.
1696
01:27:05,159 --> 01:27:06,959
THAT'S IT.
1697
01:27:06,961 --> 01:27:08,226
WHAT?
1698
01:27:08,228 --> 01:27:11,830
HE'S DEPRESSED
AND HE WANTS TO GO HOME.
1699
01:27:11,832 --> 01:27:13,165
TO NEW YORK.
1700
01:27:13,167 --> 01:27:15,700
NO, NO.
1701
01:27:15,702 --> 01:27:17,236
HOME.
1702
01:27:21,375 --> 01:27:23,241
Becker:
ALL RIGHT, NOW, GENTLEMEN,
1703
01:27:23,243 --> 01:27:26,845
I'M GOING TO GO AWAY NOW.
1704
01:27:26,847 --> 01:27:30,915
I'M GOING WITH GENERAL KOREY
TO PUT SIMON ON A ROCKET SHIP.
1705
01:27:30,917 --> 01:27:33,051
ON A ROCKET SHIP.
1706
01:27:33,053 --> 01:27:34,787
CAN WE GO?
1707
01:27:34,789 --> 01:27:37,589
NO, NO.
YOU HAVE TO STAY HERE.
1708
01:27:37,591 --> 01:27:40,192
[ CRYING ]
AND WHILE I'M GONE,
I WANT YOU TO BEHAVE.
1709
01:27:40,194 --> 01:27:42,194
[ SNIFFLES ]
1710
01:27:42,196 --> 01:27:45,263
[ Crying ] NO!
1711
01:27:45,265 --> 01:27:47,532
WHAT'S THE MATTER, LEON?
1712
01:27:47,534 --> 01:27:52,737
WELL, I WANT TO GO
ON THE ROCKET SHIP!
1713
01:27:52,739 --> 01:27:54,873
NO, DOCTOR.
YOU CANNOT GO
1714
01:27:54,875 --> 01:27:56,341
ON THE ROCKET SHIP.
I'M SORRY.
1715
01:27:56,343 --> 01:27:57,609
NOW, WHILE I'M AWAY,
1716
01:27:57,611 --> 01:28:00,412
I WANT YOU TO STAY
OUT OF TROUBLE.
1717
01:28:00,414 --> 01:28:02,280
REMEMBER WHERE YOU ARE,
GENTLEMEN.
1718
01:28:02,282 --> 01:28:03,816
ARAM, I WANT YOU TO BE
THE MONITOR.
1719
01:28:03,818 --> 01:28:05,818
WHAT?!
WHY IS HE THE MONITOR?!
1720
01:28:05,820 --> 01:28:07,886
WHY IS HE THE MONITOR?
WHY IS HE THE MONITOR?
1721
01:28:07,888 --> 01:28:09,287
I DON'T UNDERSTAND!
1722
01:28:09,289 --> 01:28:11,356
[ ALL YELLING ]
1723
01:28:11,358 --> 01:28:13,025
QUIET! QUIET!
1724
01:28:13,027 --> 01:28:14,226
SAYS WHO?
1725
01:28:14,228 --> 01:28:15,427
SAYS ME!
1726
01:28:15,429 --> 01:28:18,363
SHUT UP, SIX EYES!
SIX EYES!
1727
01:28:18,365 --> 01:28:20,098
GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN!
I AM APPALLED!
1728
01:28:20,100 --> 01:28:22,367
DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?
THEY'RE TAKING AWAY THE TABLE.
1729
01:28:22,369 --> 01:28:23,635
SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?
1730
01:28:23,637 --> 01:28:25,237
GENTLEMEN, PLEASE.
I AM APPALLED!
1731
01:28:25,239 --> 01:39:19,858
BOOM!
1732
01:39:20,293 --> 01:39:22,026
For that great
rocket-launch scene,
1733
01:39:22,028 --> 01:39:23,295
the production
moved from New York
1734
01:39:23,297 --> 01:39:26,431
to the NASA Kennedy Space Center
in Florida.
1735
01:39:26,433 --> 01:39:28,100
During the week
of production there,
1736
01:39:28,102 --> 01:39:31,169
Marshall Brickman used
NASA's new space shuttle
1737
01:39:31,171 --> 01:39:33,638
for the exterior shots
of the rocket.
1738
01:39:33,640 --> 01:39:36,108
Back in New York, production
designer Stuart Wurtzel
1739
01:39:36,110 --> 01:39:40,378
built a realistic replica
of the interior of the shuttle.
1740
01:39:40,380 --> 01:39:43,582
"Simon" marked another entry
in the wave of comedies
1741
01:39:43,584 --> 01:39:46,184
being released by
the independent Orion Pictures,
1742
01:39:46,186 --> 01:39:49,388
which was in its first two years
of operation.
1743
01:39:49,390 --> 01:39:51,456
Those comedies
include blockbuster hits
1744
01:39:51,458 --> 01:39:53,926
like "10," released in 1979;
1745
01:39:53,928 --> 01:39:58,597
"Caddyshack," in 1980;
and "Arthur," from 1981.
1746
01:39:58,599 --> 01:39:59,932
As for Madeline Kahn,
1747
01:39:59,934 --> 01:40:02,066
she continued to be a staple
on television,
1748
01:40:02,068 --> 01:40:03,535
as well as on the stage,
1749
01:40:03,537 --> 01:40:05,804
and she starred
in several more comedies,
1750
01:40:05,806 --> 01:40:08,273
including her role as Mrs. White
1751
01:40:08,275 --> 01:40:12,877
in Jonathan Lynn's
camp classic "Clue" in 1985.
1752
01:40:12,879 --> 01:40:14,012
Coming up next
1753
01:40:14,014 --> 01:40:16,281
is Madeline Kahn's
feature-film debut
1754
01:40:16,283 --> 01:40:19,785
in a slapstick comedy
directed by Peter Bogdanovich.
123738
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