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1
00:00:03,770 --> 00:00:05,700
Hey, babe.
How's Boca Raton?
2
00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:08,140
Old.
And I'm sorry I'm not there,
3
00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:09,510
but I could not turn this down.
4
00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:11,270
This is my first event
with the AARP,
5
00:00:11,370 --> 00:00:12,880
and they're, like, the gateway
6
00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:14,840
to the entire
retirement community.
7
00:00:14,980 --> 00:00:17,850
And those people spend their
money like there is no tomorrow.
8
00:00:17,950 --> 00:00:19,720
Because there isn't.
Oh!
9
00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:21,980
Guess what? I booked Charo.
10
00:00:22,090 --> 00:00:23,750
What?!
She's still alive?
11
00:00:23,850 --> 00:00:25,620
Yeah, she's just hanging out
in the lobby
12
00:00:25,620 --> 00:00:28,060
with her maracas saying
"Cuchi Cuchi!"
13
00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:31,030
So I said, "If you can
say that at the ballroom,
14
00:00:31,130 --> 00:00:32,590
"I will give you $500
15
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,500
and an all-you-can-eat
food voucher."
16
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,170
Yay! Yay, yay,
yay, yay, yay, yay!
17
00:00:37,300 --> 00:00:39,540
Hey.
18
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,340
Hey, hey,
is that your husband?
19
00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:42,570
It is my husband.
20
00:00:42,670 --> 00:00:44,610
Ooh, such a hot tamale.
Cuchi! Cuchi!
21
00:00:44,710 --> 00:00:47,580
Cuchi!
22
00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:50,750
Well, things are going
pretty well over here.
23
00:00:50,850 --> 00:00:53,820
As you can see, I've got
most of the decorations set up
24
00:00:53,820 --> 00:00:55,720
- for the slumber party.
- Wow!
25
00:00:55,850 --> 00:00:58,350
They look great for you.
26
00:00:58,450 --> 00:00:59,690
Did you invite your dad?
27
00:00:59,790 --> 00:01:01,720
Ooh, I did better
than invite him.
28
00:01:01,860 --> 00:01:03,360
I didn't invite him.
29
00:01:03,460 --> 00:01:05,890
Junior.
It's Grandparent's Day.
30
00:01:06,030 --> 00:01:07,360
He has to be there.
31
00:01:07,460 --> 00:01:09,670
My dad's gonna be there,
your mom's gonna be there,
32
00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:11,600
and the kids are
making them surprises.
33
00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:12,700
I know.
34
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,340
But you know my dad.
If I invite him,
35
00:01:14,340 --> 00:01:16,810
he's gonna say...
"Mm. No."
36
00:01:18,940 --> 00:01:21,410
So I've been inception-ing him.
37
00:01:21,510 --> 00:01:22,750
Trying to get him pregnant?
38
00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:24,810
Yes. Pregnant with my ideas.
39
00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:27,220
You see, I've been inserting
subliminal key phrases
40
00:01:27,350 --> 00:01:30,050
that would prompt him to want
to go to the sleepover.
41
00:01:30,150 --> 00:01:32,590
Words like "slumber"
and "party."
42
00:01:32,690 --> 00:01:34,560
Did you also whisper
"Junior has a dumb idea"--
43
00:01:34,690 --> 00:01:35,990
put the banner higher--
44
00:01:35,990 --> 00:01:37,490
because you know he hates
this kind of stuff.
45
00:01:37,590 --> 00:01:39,230
No. Relax, babe. I have a plan.
46
00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:42,400
By the way, do you like
the banner higher like this?
47
00:01:42,500 --> 00:01:43,900
I think it should
be higher, right?
48
00:01:44,030 --> 00:01:44,870
Yeah.
49
00:01:44,970 --> 00:01:46,240
It's a great idea--
50
00:01:46,370 --> 00:01:48,200
I might have
to stay another day--
51
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:49,770
I miss you.
52
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:52,580
I wish you were here, but I know
you have to stay another day.
53
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:53,940
Yeah.
54
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:56,780
I wish-- disown your mother--
I was there, too.
55
00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:58,180
You know, I was thinking
about disowning my m--
56
00:01:58,280 --> 00:01:59,580
Wait, what'd you say?
57
00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:02,450
Hmm? Oh, nothing.
I just-- I said I love you.
58
00:02:02,550 --> 00:02:04,420
Okay. I love you, too. Well...
59
00:02:04,550 --> 00:02:08,020
I'm gonna go over there
right now and give this invite
60
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:10,430
to Ivy in front of my
father.
61
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:13,260
He's gonna be so jealous
and curious.
62
00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:14,930
- Sounds mature.
- Cuchi, cuchi!
63
00:02:15,030 --> 00:02:16,400
Oh, uh, speaking of mature...
Yeah!
64
00:02:16,500 --> 00:02:18,230
...Charo's getting restless.
I got to go.
65
00:02:18,330 --> 00:02:19,470
I'll call you later.
66
00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:21,770
Okay. I love you, baby--
get taller-- Bye.
67
00:02:21,870 --> 00:02:23,710
Bye! Wait, what?
68
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,510
♪ Poppa's ♪
69
00:02:25,610 --> 00:02:27,480
♪ House ♪
70
00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:28,810
♪ Yeah. ♪
71
00:02:28,910 --> 00:02:31,780
You know, right now,
my life is designed to only do
72
00:02:31,910 --> 00:02:33,480
things that make me happy.
73
00:02:33,580 --> 00:02:35,850
And I'm sure
you're gonna elaborate.
Yeah.
74
00:02:35,950 --> 00:02:37,390
I-I have a system.
75
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,960
I wake up at 4:00 a.m.
Have a little bit of coffee.
76
00:02:40,090 --> 00:02:43,430
I watch some sports.
Coffee moves the crowd.
77
00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:45,690
Take the Browns to the playoffs.
78
00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:48,530
Then I have a sardine McMuffin.
79
00:02:48,630 --> 00:02:49,800
Little more coffee.
80
00:02:49,900 --> 00:02:52,030
Take the Browns
to the Superbowl.
81
00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:54,170
Then I need a nap.
82
00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:56,070
After the nap,
we do the podcast.
83
00:02:56,070 --> 00:02:58,840
I take another nap,
then I have some dinner,
84
00:02:58,940 --> 00:03:01,010
and by then, it's time for bed.
85
00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:02,380
What are you, a bear?
86
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:04,110
That is not sleep,
87
00:03:04,210 --> 00:03:05,510
that's hibernation.
88
00:03:07,850 --> 00:03:10,450
Well, my whole adult life
has been
89
00:03:10,550 --> 00:03:12,590
being on someone
else's schedule.
90
00:03:12,590 --> 00:03:14,490
You know how many naps
did I miss
91
00:03:14,620 --> 00:03:18,760
going to recitals and
my ex-wife's family reunions?
92
00:03:18,860 --> 00:03:20,230
I hated everybody there.
93
00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:23,170
Especially Lafonzo.
Who's Lafonzo?
94
00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:24,370
Exactly.
95
00:03:24,500 --> 00:03:27,670
He's some distant
relative of my ex-wife,
96
00:03:27,770 --> 00:03:29,810
who would show up uninvited
97
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:32,040
and then tell
the worst stories ever.
98
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:33,540
He'd say stuff like...
99
00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:35,910
"Uh,
to make a long story short,"
100
00:03:36,010 --> 00:03:38,010
and then he'd make
the story longer.
101
00:03:38,110 --> 00:03:40,220
Poppa, you just
don't like people.
102
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:42,180
No, I love
the concept of people.
103
00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:44,650
But then there's Lafonzo.
104
00:03:44,750 --> 00:03:47,290
And I just don't want to be
bothered with anybody.
105
00:03:47,290 --> 00:03:49,220
Hey, Dad, uh, door's locked
for some reason.
106
00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:50,830
Yeah, you're the reason.
107
00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:52,790
Come on, Pop, I want
to ask you a question.
108
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,230
Be still.
109
00:03:54,330 --> 00:03:56,430
He's attracted to movement.
110
00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:00,070
Damn it. Where'd they go?
111
00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:21,690
That was easy.
112
00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:29,570
He's coming.
113
00:04:29,700 --> 00:04:31,770
I sense he's already here.
114
00:04:46,580 --> 00:04:48,950
- How did you get in here?
- It's a secret--
115
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:50,090
come to my slumber party.
116
00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:51,290
By the way, uh,
117
00:04:51,420 --> 00:04:52,890
you need a new window
and a new drainpipe.
118
00:04:52,890 --> 00:04:54,820
What do you want, D. rex?
119
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,390
Uh, I just came here
to deliver this invitation
120
00:04:57,490 --> 00:04:59,760
to a very special event
that's happening
121
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:03,930
tonight to, oh, Dr. Ivy Reed.
122
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:06,600
You want to give it to her?
No.
123
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:08,540
She's right over there.
Oh. Oh, okay.
124
00:05:08,540 --> 00:05:11,310
Thought you'd be
more curious about it.
Mm-mm.
125
00:05:12,540 --> 00:05:13,780
Well...
126
00:05:13,910 --> 00:05:16,910
Dr. Ivy Reed, we can't wait
to see you there.
127
00:05:17,010 --> 00:05:20,120
There'll be lots of fun,
lots of surprises.
128
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:23,190
You know, we got,
uh, story time...
129
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,150
...charades,
130
00:05:25,250 --> 00:05:26,460
karaoke...
131
00:05:26,590 --> 00:05:28,460
He's looking, he's looking.
132
00:05:29,220 --> 00:05:31,960
And a really super cool
surprise at the end.
133
00:05:32,060 --> 00:05:33,460
But I'm not gonna
tell you what it is.
134
00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:35,160
And you can't tell
anybody because
135
00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:36,500
not everybody's invited,
136
00:05:36,630 --> 00:05:38,130
if you catch my drift.
137
00:05:38,230 --> 00:05:39,970
Oh, well, okay.
138
00:05:40,070 --> 00:05:41,140
Thank you.
Mm-hmm.
139
00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:43,240
Look at that smile.
You're so excited.
140
00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,310
You're so...
141
00:05:45,410 --> 00:05:47,580
It's gonna be fun, yeah,
it's gonna be a lot of fun.
142
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,850
Well...
143
00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:51,580
...gonna go finish setting
up my crazy fun day.
144
00:05:51,580 --> 00:05:55,350
You better not ask me what
it is, 'cause I ain't telling.
145
00:05:57,020 --> 00:05:58,890
Not one peep.
146
00:05:58,990 --> 00:06:01,120
Zip.
147
00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:03,490
Zip. I'm sorry, what?
What did you say?
148
00:06:04,260 --> 00:06:05,790
I'm sorry, you-you,
you want to know what it was?
149
00:06:05,890 --> 00:06:07,160
No.
No?
150
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:08,360
Oh, I thought
I heard you say som--
Mm.
151
00:06:08,460 --> 00:06:09,470
You didn't say anything?
152
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:10,730
Mm-mm.
153
00:06:10,830 --> 00:06:12,130
All right. Well, uh,
154
00:06:12,130 --> 00:06:15,900
I'll just, uh, see you tonight.
155
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,510
Boop!
156
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:19,640
Yes!
157
00:06:19,740 --> 00:06:20,840
Where are you going?
158
00:06:20,940 --> 00:06:22,680
Oh, to my house.
159
00:06:34,020 --> 00:06:35,190
Wow, wow, wow.
160
00:06:35,290 --> 00:06:36,430
This is something.
161
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:37,960
You're gonna want
to know about this.
162
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:39,230
Nope.
163
00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:40,760
I'll give you a hint.
164
00:06:40,860 --> 00:06:42,800
No, please.
165
00:06:42,900 --> 00:06:44,600
It concerns you.
166
00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:47,140
Still no.
167
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,470
Okay, you're acting weird.
168
00:06:48,470 --> 00:06:49,740
What is going on?
169
00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:52,070
Well, Junior is having
a slumber party,
170
00:06:52,210 --> 00:06:54,040
and he's not inviting me
171
00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:55,640
so I'll ask if I can come.
172
00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:57,180
Well, you can definitely come
because it says inside
173
00:06:57,280 --> 00:06:59,780
we're gonna cel--
I don't want to go.
174
00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:02,790
He's inceptioning me.
175
00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:04,090
He's trying to get you pregnant?
176
00:07:04,220 --> 00:07:05,420
Yes.
177
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:07,990
With his stupid ideas
about his slumber party.
178
00:07:08,090 --> 00:07:09,990
Okay. You're
being ridiculous.
179
00:07:09,990 --> 00:07:11,590
And you're reading into this.
180
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:14,730
Am I?
181
00:07:14,830 --> 00:07:17,530
Okay, Poppa, you know you want
to go to the party.
182
00:07:17,630 --> 00:07:21,570
I do not want to go to the party
because he didn't invite me.
183
00:07:21,700 --> 00:07:24,670
And besides, slumber parties
ain't nothing but a racket.
184
00:07:24,770 --> 00:07:26,440
Oh!
185
00:07:26,540 --> 00:07:29,140
Hold up. Let me take
a crack at this.
186
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,350
Mm. You stay up late
187
00:07:31,350 --> 00:07:34,120
because you're sleeping
on the floor
188
00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:36,380
but your actual bed's
upstairs, meh,
189
00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:38,820
and your pillows, they smell
like people's breath
190
00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:40,120
and kids' feet,
191
00:07:40,220 --> 00:07:42,990
meh, and you wake
up in a bad mood,
192
00:07:43,090 --> 00:07:45,160
as per usual. Meh.
193
00:07:47,430 --> 00:07:49,300
All that, but funnier.
194
00:07:52,700 --> 00:07:53,970
♪ Yeah, yeah. ♪
195
00:07:54,070 --> 00:07:55,370
So, how's it going?
196
00:07:55,470 --> 00:07:56,840
It's going great.
197
00:07:56,940 --> 00:07:59,940
I gave Ivy the invitation
right in front of him, dude.
198
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:02,440
You should've saw his face,
199
00:08:02,580 --> 00:08:04,280
he was salivating over it.
200
00:08:04,380 --> 00:08:06,750
I put
a pillow in his fridge.
201
00:08:06,850 --> 00:08:09,020
It was so cold, I bet.
202
00:08:09,950 --> 00:08:11,490
He's hooked. He's coming.
203
00:08:11,590 --> 00:08:14,660
Well, I'm glad you're
having fun, baby. Bye.
204
00:08:14,790 --> 00:08:16,220
Bye!
205
00:08:16,220 --> 00:08:18,390
Mr. Lafonzo,
206
00:08:18,490 --> 00:08:22,670
may I ask, how exactly
are we related?
207
00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:25,470
Well, to make
a long story short...
208
00:08:26,330 --> 00:08:28,100
...I'm your
grandmother's cousin's
209
00:08:28,100 --> 00:08:32,240
brother's uncle's nephew
210
00:08:32,340 --> 00:08:33,840
once removed.
211
00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:37,680
All right, everybody. Let's play
our first game, all right?
212
00:08:37,780 --> 00:08:40,720
It's my dad's favorite.
It's called Impression Sessions.
213
00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:41,920
Ooh, I'll go first.
214
00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:44,050
See if you can guess
who this is.
215
00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:48,520
I work at a foam roller company.
216
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:50,390
I-I don't know. You?
217
00:08:50,490 --> 00:08:52,290
Wrong.
218
00:08:52,390 --> 00:08:53,960
I own a foam roller company.
219
00:08:54,060 --> 00:08:57,330
No, I was doing you.
This is fun, right?
220
00:08:57,430 --> 00:08:58,770
But why do you have a hat on?
221
00:08:58,770 --> 00:09:00,200
To throw you off the scent.
222
00:09:00,300 --> 00:09:02,370
Oh, I got a story about that.
223
00:09:03,540 --> 00:09:05,610
The year was 1974.
224
00:09:05,610 --> 00:09:08,810
Elizabeth Taylor was
on husband number five...
225
00:09:09,710 --> 00:09:11,550
Uh, Lafonzo, why don't you
run down to the store
226
00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:12,820
and get us a bag of ice?
227
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,150
Oh, speaking of ice--
228
00:09:14,150 --> 00:09:15,380
Go!
229
00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:17,990
All right, I'll go get the ice.
230
00:09:18,090 --> 00:09:19,890
Be back in a flash.
231
00:09:24,860 --> 00:09:26,700
Their little plan is backfiring.
232
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,100
They were trying
to make me jealous,
233
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:29,560
and then they got...
234
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:31,430
Lafonzoed.
235
00:09:31,530 --> 00:09:32,700
You are terrible.
236
00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,070
So, what?
You're just gonna stand there
237
00:09:34,170 --> 00:09:35,970
and watch them have fun?
Yes!
238
00:09:36,070 --> 00:09:37,440
That's my fun.
239
00:09:38,210 --> 00:09:39,980
Poppa, you need to stop
with this stupid game
240
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,010
and just go over there.
I'm not playing the game.
241
00:09:42,110 --> 00:09:43,380
He's playing the game.
242
00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:45,150
He gave you an invite, not me.
243
00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:48,820
So until I get a formal
invitation, I'm not going.
244
00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:50,690
Well, I am.
245
00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:53,820
'Cause it sounds like
they're having a good time.
246
00:09:53,820 --> 00:09:56,890
And I hope that you will
put on your big boy pants
247
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:59,260
and come join us.
248
00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:01,500
We'll see how you feel
after you get...
249
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:03,100
Lafonzoed.
250
00:10:03,230 --> 00:10:05,600
He can't be that bad.
251
00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:07,000
So they told me to go get ice
252
00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:09,440
and I tried,
but I couldn't find my keys.
253
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:13,080
So I put on my
"looking for my keys" glasses.
254
00:10:13,210 --> 00:10:16,180
And guess what?
"Plot twist," I found them.
255
00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:18,480
They was in...
Okay, Lafonzo!
256
00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:20,680
Thank you!
257
00:10:20,780 --> 00:10:22,420
The ice, please.
258
00:10:22,550 --> 00:10:24,990
Okay. Be back in a flash.
259
00:10:25,090 --> 00:10:26,320
Okay. No.
We're gonna do this door.
260
00:10:26,420 --> 00:10:27,960
This door.
That door's too far, okay?
261
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:33,100
Junior, what's Poppa doing?
262
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,760
Oh.
263
00:10:38,670 --> 00:10:40,840
He's taking the bait
and running with it.
264
00:10:41,970 --> 00:10:43,200
Okay.
265
00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:45,440
It's time to crank up
the jealousy meter.
266
00:10:45,570 --> 00:10:48,610
Maya? You're activated.
267
00:10:48,710 --> 00:10:50,510
I sure am.
268
00:10:52,950 --> 00:10:55,280
Who am I?
269
00:10:55,380 --> 00:10:57,750
Mm. Where are my sardines?
270
00:10:57,850 --> 00:10:58,920
Mm.
271
00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:00,490
I need a nap.
272
00:11:00,620 --> 00:11:01,660
Mm.
273
00:11:01,790 --> 00:11:03,660
No, you can't get any ice cream
274
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:05,160
'cause I'm diabetic.
275
00:11:05,260 --> 00:11:07,400
That's my dad.
276
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,970
He has diabetes.
277
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:12,030
That's a good Poppa.
278
00:11:13,670 --> 00:11:16,040
They think I've taken
the bait.
279
00:11:16,140 --> 00:11:17,740
They're playing
the jealousy game,
280
00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:20,410
but what they don't know
is I invented the jealousy game.
281
00:11:20,510 --> 00:11:22,140
Ain't that right, Pop...
Popcorn?
282
00:11:31,590 --> 00:11:32,960
Traitor.
283
00:11:34,090 --> 00:11:36,420
You dirty little dog.
284
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,430
So, here's the plan.
Jealousy didn't work,
285
00:11:43,530 --> 00:11:45,430
so now we need a negotiator.
286
00:11:49,940 --> 00:11:50,970
Well,
287
00:11:51,070 --> 00:11:52,570
I don't mean
to sound arrogant, but...
288
00:11:52,710 --> 00:11:53,880
You always do, but go on.
289
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:57,010
...I am the world's
best negotiator, okay?
290
00:11:57,110 --> 00:11:58,510
If I get in the door,
291
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:00,120
I've won.
292
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:04,690
Hey.
Hey, Oompa-Loompa.
293
00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:06,650
They let you out
of the chocolate factory?
294
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:09,260
Well, at least I can eat
chocolate without losing a foot.
295
00:12:11,190 --> 00:12:12,290
"Good one, JJ."
296
00:12:12,390 --> 00:12:13,960
That was a good one.
Why, thank you.
297
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:15,600
Why are you here?
Oh, just to make a
peace offering, man.
298
00:12:15,700 --> 00:12:19,100
I-I brought a bottle
of my finest
299
00:12:19,230 --> 00:12:20,940
single malt
scotch. Now...
Mm.
300
00:12:21,070 --> 00:12:22,770
...why don't you just, uh,
let me inside,
301
00:12:22,870 --> 00:12:25,610
and, uh, we'll talk about this
like a couple of men?
302
00:12:25,740 --> 00:12:30,110
Well, the problem is, there's
only one man here and that's me.
303
00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:33,620
Is that Limburger
cheese I smell?
304
00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:34,920
Mm, yes, it is.
How did you know
305
00:12:35,020 --> 00:12:36,420
I had a weakness for it?
306
00:12:36,420 --> 00:12:38,150
Because you always smell
like the cheese
307
00:12:38,290 --> 00:12:40,320
on the baby's neck.
308
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:44,160
This one is an '88.
309
00:12:44,290 --> 00:12:46,130
An '88, you say?
Yeah.
310
00:12:46,230 --> 00:12:48,160
I-Is that how cheese works?
Yeah.
311
00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:49,560
It's like your scotch.
312
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,670
The older it is,
the better it tastes.
313
00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:54,900
Well, it smells like a locker
room after a kung fu class,
314
00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:56,140
so it must be good.
315
00:12:56,270 --> 00:12:57,440
Yeah.
316
00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,570
Hey, would you like some?
317
00:12:59,670 --> 00:13:02,640
Does a baby want a bottle?
318
00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,750
Ooh! Hey!
319
00:13:05,850 --> 00:13:07,920
Man. You missed.
320
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:09,520
Sorry.
321
00:13:09,620 --> 00:13:11,020
My God!
322
00:13:11,150 --> 00:13:12,990
That cheese is delicious.
323
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:17,260
I tell you what,
I'll trade you my cheese...
324
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,330
Uh-huh?
...for your scotch.
325
00:13:19,430 --> 00:13:21,930
Done and done.
Okay. On the three.
326
00:13:22,030 --> 00:13:24,300
One, two, three.
327
00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:26,600
Ah.
328
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:27,840
Sucker.
329
00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:29,540
Yep.
330
00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:35,040
Ha, ha!
331
00:13:36,680 --> 00:13:38,680
What is that god-awful stench?
332
00:13:38,810 --> 00:13:41,420
That's the smell of victory.
333
00:13:42,380 --> 00:13:44,050
I won the negotiation.
334
00:13:44,850 --> 00:13:46,620
Then where is Poppa?
335
00:13:46,620 --> 00:13:48,120
Who cares?
336
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:49,520
Smell this cheese.
337
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,660
Ooh...
No!
Stop wafting it!
338
00:13:51,660 --> 00:13:53,560
I-It's an '88.
339
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,400
It smells like death.
340
00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:57,330
That's how you know it's good.
341
00:13:57,330 --> 00:13:59,940
You were supposed
to bring my dad over here.
342
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,470
Oh. Damn it. Oh, y-you're right.
343
00:14:02,470 --> 00:14:05,710
In my delirium,
I completely forgot.
344
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,480
Well, that didn't work.
345
00:14:08,580 --> 00:14:10,840
Now it's time
to bring out the big guns.
346
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,150
We need a dragon.
347
00:14:12,250 --> 00:14:14,480
I have arrived.
348
00:14:14,580 --> 00:14:16,020
Dracarys.
349
00:14:16,020 --> 00:14:17,150
Ah!
350
00:14:22,220 --> 00:14:23,630
Hello, my has-been.
351
00:14:24,830 --> 00:14:26,060
Look, why
352
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:27,830
are you here?
I came over here
353
00:14:27,930 --> 00:14:30,500
to demand that you come
to Junior's slumber party.
354
00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:31,570
Mm, no.
355
00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:34,370
You know, we are all
so tired of you
356
00:14:34,470 --> 00:14:38,570
saying "Mm, no" again
and again and again.
357
00:14:39,310 --> 00:14:41,910
I don't always say no to Junior.
Oh.
358
00:14:42,010 --> 00:14:43,010
What about the time
that he asked you
359
00:14:43,010 --> 00:14:44,350
to come to his baseball games?
360
00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:46,680
Well, he sucked at baseball.
361
00:14:46,780 --> 00:14:49,380
Had he been Aaron Judge,
I'd have been at every game.
362
00:14:49,380 --> 00:14:52,120
Okay, what about his
kindergarten graduation?
363
00:14:52,220 --> 00:14:55,060
He sucked at kindergarten, too.
364
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:58,430
He still thinks L-M-N-O-P
is one letter.
365
00:14:58,530 --> 00:15:02,260
You never came
to any of his school plays.
366
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,600
Because he sucked.
367
00:15:04,700 --> 00:15:06,500
They used to cast him
as the wind.
368
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:09,370
Yes, in Gone with the Wind.
369
00:15:09,470 --> 00:15:11,540
It was the lead.
370
00:15:11,540 --> 00:15:13,340
Frankly, Catherine,
371
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:15,380
I don't give a damn.
372
00:15:16,580 --> 00:15:19,280
And why don't you be
Gone with the Wind?
373
00:15:19,380 --> 00:15:21,620
You know, why don't
you just blow on over
374
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:23,450
to Junior's with me?
375
00:15:23,550 --> 00:15:26,790
I will say it again
376
00:15:26,890 --> 00:15:29,820
so that you will understand.
Mm-hmm.
377
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:32,490
If he asks me to go,
378
00:15:32,590 --> 00:15:34,130
I will consider it.
379
00:15:34,230 --> 00:15:35,960
Has anyone ever told you
that you're a low-down,
380
00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:38,070
rotten, dirty snake
in the grass?
381
00:15:38,070 --> 00:15:40,930
Yes, you, in divorce court.
382
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,700
Mm, goodbye, Catherine.
383
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:47,310
Well, he slayed our dragon.
384
00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:49,510
Boy, you better pick me up.
385
00:15:51,510 --> 00:15:53,380
Didn't want it to
have to come to this,
386
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:54,850
but he's left me no choice.
387
00:15:54,980 --> 00:15:56,520
Maya, Trey?
388
00:15:57,620 --> 00:15:59,050
You're our last and best hope.
389
00:15:59,150 --> 00:16:00,320
We got this, Dad.
390
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,990
We'll bend him to our will.
391
00:16:05,730 --> 00:16:07,430
Hmm.
392
00:16:07,530 --> 00:16:10,870
We surrender!
393
00:16:12,270 --> 00:16:13,540
Traitors!
394
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,400
Y'all are traitors!
395
00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:20,210
To the gallows.
396
00:16:21,310 --> 00:16:24,580
Junior, how long
is this gonna go on?
397
00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:26,680
Okay? One of you has to be
the bigger person.
398
00:16:26,780 --> 00:16:28,050
Why don't you be him?
399
00:16:28,150 --> 00:16:31,020
I don't want to be
the bigger person.
400
00:16:32,150 --> 00:16:34,390
Fine. I'll go invite him.
401
00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:36,560
But I already know
what he's gonna say.
402
00:16:37,390 --> 00:16:38,760
Yes.
403
00:16:40,230 --> 00:16:41,260
"Yes"?
404
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:42,860
After all the drama,
405
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,200
after the cheese
and the stealing my kids
406
00:16:45,300 --> 00:16:46,830
and the slaying my dragon?
407
00:16:46,830 --> 00:16:48,970
After all that,
you just say yes?
408
00:16:49,070 --> 00:16:50,610
Yes.
No.
409
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,010
You can't say yes,
410
00:16:52,010 --> 00:16:53,740
because then that makes me
look crazy.
411
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,180
Yes.
Stop saying that!
412
00:16:56,180 --> 00:16:57,510
Why?
413
00:16:57,610 --> 00:16:59,210
E-S.
414
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:02,220
Damn it, Dad, come on.
415
00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:03,420
Look,
416
00:17:03,550 --> 00:17:05,550
I told you,
if you just invited me,
417
00:17:05,690 --> 00:17:08,260
I would consider it
and give you my answer,
418
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,860
and my answer is--
don't be mad-- yes.
419
00:17:10,860 --> 00:17:13,260
I-I just don't want
to be mad anymore.
420
00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:14,660
Here's your pajamas.
421
00:17:14,660 --> 00:17:16,060
Thank you.
422
00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:23,040
All right, let's go.
423
00:17:23,140 --> 00:17:24,540
Glad you finally bent the knee.
424
00:17:24,540 --> 00:17:26,570
Bent the...
Come on, man.
425
00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:28,280
You couldn't just take the win?
You had to rub it in?
426
00:17:28,410 --> 00:17:30,410
Rubbing it in
is the fun part for me.
427
00:17:30,510 --> 00:17:32,180
Well, not for me it isn't.
Look,
428
00:17:32,180 --> 00:17:33,550
I'm excited to go.
429
00:17:33,550 --> 00:17:35,080
I didn't want you to think
that your, uh,
430
00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:37,420
inception plan
was ever gonna work.
431
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:39,620
Damn it, Dad,
what is wrong with you?
432
00:17:39,750 --> 00:17:41,160
Why are you like this?
433
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:45,060
Look, when I was a kid,
434
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:47,190
I spent years in and
out of the hospital
435
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,960
getting my clubfoot corrected.
436
00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:51,370
And when they were done,
437
00:17:51,470 --> 00:17:53,870
they gave me this
big-ass shoe to wear.
438
00:17:53,970 --> 00:17:55,300
And I didn't like
being around other kids
439
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:57,470
because they would laugh at me.
440
00:17:57,570 --> 00:18:00,210
So I learned to be by myself,
441
00:18:00,210 --> 00:18:01,980
to entertain myself
442
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:03,210
and be my own
best friend.
443
00:18:03,310 --> 00:18:04,780
So when you
didn't invite me,
444
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:06,980
it kind of brought up some
of those painful memories.
445
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:08,820
Oh, Dad, that was never
my intention.
446
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:10,190
I...
447
00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:12,390
I was just sure
you were gonna say no
448
00:18:12,390 --> 00:18:15,290
'cause you always do, and
I didn't want to get rejected.
449
00:18:16,290 --> 00:18:19,490
I guess you get
your fear of rejection from me.
450
00:18:20,730 --> 00:18:22,660
That and your little ankles.
451
00:18:23,730 --> 00:18:24,900
Ready to go have some fun?
452
00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:26,170
Mm, no.
453
00:18:27,300 --> 00:18:29,500
But I will. Come on.
454
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,770
So, the year was
455
00:18:32,770 --> 00:18:36,280
1989, and I was three months
pregnant with Junior.
456
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:39,850
Hey, man, she just drones on
and on and on and on
457
00:18:39,950 --> 00:18:41,950
and on and on, doesn't she?
458
00:18:42,050 --> 00:18:43,990
Right?
She's such a...
459
00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:46,190
That's my mother.
460
00:18:47,620 --> 00:18:48,760
Hey, Pop.
461
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:50,660
Admit it. You're
having a good time.
462
00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:52,490
It's fun.
463
00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:56,430
But I'm glad it's a slumber
party because I'm tired.
464
00:18:56,430 --> 00:18:59,770
What is it, like,
10:00 or something like that?
465
00:18:59,770 --> 00:19:01,200
It's 5:30.
466
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:06,010
And we have a little
surprise for you.
467
00:19:06,110 --> 00:19:07,640
For me?
Yeah, go sit. Have a sit.
468
00:19:07,740 --> 00:19:10,350
Have a sit, yeah.
Have a sit.
469
00:19:11,180 --> 00:19:12,510
Okay.
470
00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:15,050
All right, now close your eyes
and hold out your hands.
471
00:19:16,220 --> 00:19:17,150
Now open them.
472
00:19:17,250 --> 00:19:18,350
Poppa,
473
00:19:18,450 --> 00:19:20,190
on Grandparent's Day...
Wow.
474
00:19:20,290 --> 00:19:21,960
...we present you
with this crown.
475
00:19:22,060 --> 00:19:24,090
You're the grandest parent
476
00:19:24,190 --> 00:19:25,690
of all.
477
00:19:25,830 --> 00:19:27,860
I'm sitting right here.
478
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,560
Yours is coming.
479
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:32,830
Is why you guys wanted me
to come to this?
480
00:19:32,830 --> 00:19:35,070
Yes!
481
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:36,900
Well, somebody
should've said something.
482
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,040
- Oh, my goodness.
- You got to be kidding me.
483
00:19:39,140 --> 00:19:40,540
We've been trying...
Okay, okay,
484
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:42,340
my turn, my t-- excuse me, now.
485
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:46,110
All right, all right,
ready for my crown.
486
00:19:46,210 --> 00:19:48,150
Crown me.
487
00:19:48,250 --> 00:19:49,350
Speaking of crowns...
488
00:19:49,450 --> 00:19:50,720
What?
489
00:19:50,820 --> 00:19:52,650
Uh...
That reminds me of a time
I was in Africa.
490
00:19:52,750 --> 00:19:56,860
Hey. Hey, y'all!
It was the Mozambique-Botswana
basketball...
491
00:19:59,190 --> 00:20:01,760
♪ We are family ♪
492
00:20:02,830 --> 00:20:06,330
♪ I got all my sisters with me ♪
493
00:20:07,370 --> 00:20:09,940
♪ We are family ♪
494
00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:14,110
♪ Get up, everybody, and sing ♪
495
00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:18,450
♪ We are family
♪ Everything, you
and the things you do ♪
496
00:20:18,580 --> 00:20:21,820
♪ Hey, hey
♪ I got all my sisters with me ♪
497
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:23,720
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
498
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,390
♪ We are family... ♪
499
00:20:30,590 --> 00:20:32,560
Marker.
Hold up, let me take
a crack at this.
500
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:34,500
Mm. You stay up late
501
00:20:34,630 --> 00:20:36,060
because your actual bed--
502
00:20:36,060 --> 00:20:37,670
"You're sleeping on the floor."
503
00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:40,230
Hold up, let me take
a crack at this.
504
00:20:40,230 --> 00:20:43,170
Mm. You try to...
505
00:20:43,270 --> 00:20:44,940
Sorry.
506
00:20:46,310 --> 00:20:48,680
So what I'm hearing you say is
507
00:20:48,810 --> 00:20:51,010
it's time for plan B.
508
00:20:54,180 --> 00:20:56,020
Not that kind.
509
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:07,600
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
510
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:11,330
and TOYOTA.
511
00:21:11,430 --> 00:21:15,870
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
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