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1
00:00:03,535 --> 00:00:07,005
[♪]
2
00:00:15,681 --> 00:00:18,049
♪ love and marriage ♪
3
00:00:18,050 --> 00:00:20,518
♪ love and marriage ♪
4
00:00:20,519 --> 00:00:22,320
♪ go together like ♪
5
00:00:22,321 --> 00:00:24,789
♪ a horse and carriage ♪
6
00:00:24,790 --> 00:00:28,793
♪ this I tell ya, brother ♪
7
00:00:28,794 --> 00:00:30,729
♪ you can't have one ♪
8
00:00:30,730 --> 00:00:33,632
♪ without the other ♪
9
00:00:33,633 --> 00:00:35,934
♪ love and marriage ♪
10
00:00:35,935 --> 00:00:38,536
♪ love and marriage ♪
11
00:00:38,537 --> 00:00:39,938
♪ it's an institute ♪
12
00:00:39,939 --> 00:00:42,340
♪ you can't disparage ♪
13
00:00:42,341 --> 00:00:46,111
♪ ask the local gentry ♪
14
00:00:46,112 --> 00:00:50,649
♪ and they will say
it's elementary ♪
15
00:00:50,650 --> 00:00:55,453
♪ try, try, try
to separate them ♪
16
00:00:55,454 --> 00:00:59,157
♪ it's an illusion ♪
17
00:00:59,158 --> 00:01:04,295
♪ try, try, try
and you will only come ♪
18
00:01:04,296 --> 00:01:07,732
♪ to this conclusion ♪
19
00:01:07,733 --> 00:01:09,834
♪ love and marriage ♪
20
00:01:17,509 --> 00:01:18,843
[doorbell rings]
21
00:01:20,012 --> 00:01:22,547
Oh, why doesn't
somebody move this?
22
00:01:27,019 --> 00:01:28,519
Hi!
Hi!
23
00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:30,288
Have you seen al?
24
00:01:30,289 --> 00:01:32,190
Too many times.
25
00:01:32,191 --> 00:01:34,625
I can't believe
he's not here yet.
26
00:01:34,626 --> 00:01:36,761
Oh, don't worry.
I'm sure he's okay.
27
00:01:36,762 --> 00:01:38,496
Who cares if he's okay?
28
00:01:38,497 --> 00:01:40,131
We've got 25 minutes
29
00:01:40,132 --> 00:01:42,600
To get to the closing
of johnny b. Goode's.
30
00:01:42,601 --> 00:01:44,368
They're tearing it
down tomorrow morning.
31
00:01:44,369 --> 00:01:45,937
The burger place?
32
00:01:45,938 --> 00:01:47,939
Oh, it is much more
than a burger place.
33
00:01:47,940 --> 00:01:49,440
They've got fries.
34
00:01:49,441 --> 00:01:51,943
You know,
it's really a shame
35
00:01:51,944 --> 00:01:54,946
That they would tear down
a landmark like that.
36
00:01:54,947 --> 00:01:57,949
People come from miles around
just to get a burger...
37
00:01:57,950 --> 00:02:00,451
And to look at the grease
stain on the wall
38
00:02:00,452 --> 00:02:03,221
Where al used
to rest his head.
39
00:02:03,222 --> 00:02:05,990
And to think some people
waste their time
40
00:02:05,991 --> 00:02:07,658
Going to yellowstone.
41
00:02:07,659 --> 00:02:10,661
It's really gonna be
a night to remember.
42
00:02:10,662 --> 00:02:12,663
After all the people
who have tickets get in,
43
00:02:12,664 --> 00:02:14,432
They're gonna
close all the doors.
44
00:02:14,433 --> 00:02:17,668
Then people all over town
are gonna honk their horns
45
00:02:17,669 --> 00:02:19,170
In a fond farewell.
46
00:02:19,171 --> 00:02:22,540
Sort of like al does
in a funeral procession.
47
00:02:22,541 --> 00:02:26,010
It sounds like you've got
a lot of memories there.
48
00:02:26,011 --> 00:02:27,478
More than
anywhere else.
49
00:02:27,479 --> 00:02:28,980
After all,
it's where I met
50
00:02:28,981 --> 00:02:32,483
The man I wanted to spend
the rest of my life with.
51
00:02:32,484 --> 00:02:34,853
And I met al there too.
52
00:02:36,055 --> 00:02:38,156
Where could he be?
Oh, well.
53
00:02:38,157 --> 00:02:39,557
He wouldn't miss this.
54
00:02:39,558 --> 00:02:43,161
This is one of the few places
that still lets him in.
55
00:02:43,162 --> 00:02:45,864
So I see you're all ready
for your big night.
56
00:02:45,865 --> 00:02:47,031
Well...
57
00:02:47,032 --> 00:02:48,967
It's not just
my big night.
58
00:02:48,968 --> 00:02:51,002
I hope my dinner
party goes well.
59
00:02:51,003 --> 00:02:53,104
See, if I get the
manager's position
60
00:02:53,105 --> 00:02:54,672
At kyoto national,
61
00:02:54,673 --> 00:02:57,275
Then steve is in line
for my old job at our bank.
62
00:02:57,276 --> 00:02:59,811
I was hoping they'd
give it to a woman,
63
00:02:59,812 --> 00:03:02,580
But out of respect for steve,
I'm staying neutral.
64
00:03:02,581 --> 00:03:04,415
That's nice.
65
00:03:04,416 --> 00:03:06,284
It was so
nice of you to let us
66
00:03:06,285 --> 00:03:08,519
Keep our poached salmon
in your refrigerator.
67
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:10,155
Ours was so full already.
68
00:03:10,156 --> 00:03:12,157
Al didn't touch it,
did he?
69
00:03:12,158 --> 00:03:15,193
No. He actually liked
having it around.
70
00:03:15,194 --> 00:03:17,695
He said it gave
the refrigerator
71
00:03:17,696 --> 00:03:19,798
Kind of a foody smell.
72
00:03:19,799 --> 00:03:22,901
Well, I'm off
to cement our future.
73
00:03:24,069 --> 00:03:25,103
Oh!
74
00:03:30,575 --> 00:03:32,076
Look at my dress!
75
00:03:32,077 --> 00:03:33,577
Look at my fish!
76
00:03:33,578 --> 00:03:35,079
Look at my floor!
77
00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:37,581
I've got to go home
and change.
78
00:03:37,582 --> 00:03:40,084
Keep an eye
on my fish.
79
00:03:40,085 --> 00:03:42,586
It's keeping
an eye on you.
80
00:03:42,587 --> 00:03:43,621
Oh!
81
00:03:45,257 --> 00:03:46,590
Oh, my god!
82
00:03:46,591 --> 00:03:48,559
The bankers
just pulled up.
83
00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:49,928
You sure it's not al?
84
00:03:49,929 --> 00:03:52,030
Al doesn't drive
a mercedes
85
00:03:52,031 --> 00:03:54,532
With the license
plate "yen men."
86
00:03:54,533 --> 00:03:56,968
I can't go over there
like this!
87
00:03:56,969 --> 00:03:59,503
You could wear
something of mine.
88
00:03:59,504 --> 00:04:02,073
Maybe I can go
over there like this.
89
00:04:02,074 --> 00:04:05,076
No, I can wash this out by hand
and throw it in your dryer.
90
00:04:05,077 --> 00:04:06,811
That should only take
15 minutes.
91
00:04:06,812 --> 00:04:08,112
What about your company?
92
00:04:08,113 --> 00:04:10,114
Oh, steve can stall
for that long.
93
00:04:10,115 --> 00:04:12,116
He'll just show them
our river-rafting slides.
94
00:04:12,117 --> 00:04:13,718
Got any woolite?
95
00:04:13,719 --> 00:04:18,089
Oh, yeah. I got some
as a gag gift for my birthday.
96
00:04:18,090 --> 00:04:20,191
It's upstairs
in the bathroom.
97
00:04:20,192 --> 00:04:21,425
Thanks!
98
00:04:21,426 --> 00:04:22,927
You can keep it,
99
00:04:22,928 --> 00:04:25,063
But just leave me the bow.
100
00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:29,533
Al...
101
00:04:29,534 --> 00:04:31,702
Loves...
102
00:04:31,703 --> 00:04:34,372
Peggy.
103
00:04:34,373 --> 00:04:37,909
Sorry I'm late,
but I was in such a rush,
104
00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:39,277
I sideswiped a car
105
00:04:39,278 --> 00:04:41,279
Parked out in front
of steve and marcie's house.
106
00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:43,781
Well, if they can afford
to buy a mercedes,
107
00:04:43,782 --> 00:04:46,650
They can afford
to pay for it.
108
00:04:46,651 --> 00:04:47,986
Didn't you leave a note?
109
00:04:47,987 --> 00:04:52,323
Sure I did. I said,
"next time, buy american."
110
00:04:52,324 --> 00:04:53,824
Come on, peg, hurry up.
111
00:04:53,825 --> 00:04:55,526
We gotta get
to the restaurant.
112
00:04:55,527 --> 00:04:57,762
We're in the group
that's going in first.
113
00:04:57,763 --> 00:04:59,130
Number eight.
114
00:04:59,131 --> 00:05:02,400
You're kidding. How did you
get such a low number?
115
00:05:02,401 --> 00:05:04,035
You know how bud's
always complaining
116
00:05:04,036 --> 00:05:05,770
I don't let him
stay out late enough?
117
00:05:05,771 --> 00:05:08,273
So I told him he could sleep
on the sidewalk last night
118
00:05:08,274 --> 00:05:10,674
At johnny b. Goode's,
and he got us number eight.
119
00:05:10,675 --> 00:05:12,743
Bud wasn't home
last night?
120
00:05:12,744 --> 00:05:17,548
Oh, well. At least he was
doing something worthwhile.
121
00:05:17,549 --> 00:05:20,551
Man, I'm starved.
I can't wait to sink my teeth
122
00:05:20,552 --> 00:05:22,253
Into one of those burgers
one last time,
123
00:05:22,254 --> 00:05:23,354
And those great fries.
124
00:05:23,355 --> 00:05:24,755
I still hold
the record.
125
00:05:24,756 --> 00:05:27,025
I think I can still eat
10 bags in one sitting.
126
00:05:27,026 --> 00:05:29,493
Oh, you are great, honey.
127
00:05:32,398 --> 00:05:33,898
It stinks in here.
128
00:05:33,899 --> 00:05:35,900
What's that thing?
129
00:05:35,901 --> 00:05:37,501
Oh, that's marcie's fish.
130
00:05:37,502 --> 00:05:39,137
She spilled it
on her dress.
131
00:05:39,138 --> 00:05:41,105
She's upstairs
washing it out
132
00:05:41,106 --> 00:05:43,908
Look.
I wrote you something.
133
00:05:43,909 --> 00:05:45,443
Aww...
134
00:05:45,444 --> 00:05:48,712
"al loves piggy."
135
00:05:48,713 --> 00:05:50,714
That ought to be
an e, al.
136
00:05:50,715 --> 00:05:52,016
I'll fix it.
137
00:05:52,017 --> 00:05:53,484
I think I got
the stain out.
138
00:05:55,421 --> 00:05:58,456
Oh, al, I didn't know
you were here.
139
00:05:58,457 --> 00:06:00,291
Well, there goes
my appetite...
140
00:06:01,994 --> 00:06:03,594
And my favorite towel.
141
00:06:03,595 --> 00:06:06,630
Marcie, I'll put that
in the dryer for you.
142
00:06:10,602 --> 00:06:13,271
Who's been playing
in my fish?
143
00:06:13,272 --> 00:06:15,373
Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go!
144
00:06:15,374 --> 00:06:17,708
After they get past number
eight, we can't get in!
145
00:06:17,709 --> 00:06:19,277
Oh, I'm ready, al.
146
00:06:19,278 --> 00:06:21,779
I'm sorry, marce,
but we gotta go.
147
00:06:21,780 --> 00:06:24,115
I'll be okay. Does the dryer
buzz when it's finished?
148
00:06:24,116 --> 00:06:25,483
How would I know?
149
00:06:26,818 --> 00:06:28,987
Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go!
150
00:06:28,988 --> 00:06:31,489
Okay! Okay! Okay!
151
00:06:32,791 --> 00:06:34,292
My life is over.
152
00:06:34,293 --> 00:06:35,793
That's nice, honey.
153
00:06:35,794 --> 00:06:38,796
If you're hungry, there's
sandwiches on the table
154
00:06:38,797 --> 00:06:41,332
And little fish bits
on the floor.
155
00:06:41,333 --> 00:06:43,201
Life stinks.
156
00:06:43,202 --> 00:06:45,203
Yeah, well, it doesn't
get any better.
157
00:06:45,204 --> 00:06:47,571
We'll be at
johnny b. Goode's.
158
00:06:47,572 --> 00:06:49,140
Wait a minute, al.
159
00:06:49,141 --> 00:06:52,477
We can't go
with kelly like this.
160
00:06:52,478 --> 00:06:53,544
Why not?
161
00:06:53,545 --> 00:06:55,146
Life will stink
tomorrow.
162
00:06:55,147 --> 00:06:56,947
I know mine will.
163
00:06:58,617 --> 00:07:00,018
All right.
164
00:07:00,019 --> 00:07:01,552
Kelly, this usually
takes an hour.
165
00:07:01,553 --> 00:07:03,554
I say,
"what's the matter?"
166
00:07:03,555 --> 00:07:05,990
You say, "nothing."
I say, "come on, honey,
167
00:07:05,991 --> 00:07:07,558
I know something's
wrong. What is it?"
168
00:07:07,559 --> 00:07:09,060
You say, "nothing."
169
00:07:09,061 --> 00:07:11,496
So let's cut the crap.
What's wrong?
170
00:07:11,497 --> 00:07:12,663
Nothing.
171
00:07:12,664 --> 00:07:14,832
Come on, honey,
172
00:07:14,833 --> 00:07:17,135
I know something's wrong.
What is it?
173
00:07:17,136 --> 00:07:20,071
And keep in mind I haven't
eaten anything all day.
174
00:07:20,072 --> 00:07:21,139
Okay.
175
00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:22,373
Well, judy's having a party
176
00:07:22,374 --> 00:07:23,574
For all the kids who count,
177
00:07:23,575 --> 00:07:24,742
And I wasn't invited.
178
00:07:24,743 --> 00:07:26,744
Well, honey, if they
were really friends--
179
00:07:26,745 --> 00:07:28,746
Both:
...They would have
invited you.
180
00:07:28,747 --> 00:07:29,980
Well, thanks
a lot, mom.
181
00:07:29,981 --> 00:07:32,417
So what you're trying to tell me
is I have no friends.
182
00:07:32,418 --> 00:07:35,253
That's great. Why don't
you really cheer me up
183
00:07:35,254 --> 00:07:38,256
And tell me again
how lucky I am
184
00:07:38,257 --> 00:07:39,890
To have inherited
the bundy forehead?
185
00:07:39,891 --> 00:07:41,359
I can't believe it.
186
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:42,893
I just have to face it.
187
00:07:42,894 --> 00:07:44,195
I'm not popular anymore.
188
00:07:44,196 --> 00:07:47,565
And I've got the forehead
of a dolphin.
189
00:07:47,566 --> 00:07:50,000
Hey, that's
one smart fish.
190
00:07:50,001 --> 00:07:51,235
Oh, I'm ruined!
191
00:07:53,305 --> 00:07:55,639
Well, at least we'll know
where she is tonight.
192
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:57,641
I'd better go up
and talk to her.
193
00:07:57,642 --> 00:07:59,143
Peg, we got number eight.
194
00:07:59,144 --> 00:08:01,145
We got seven minutes
to get there.
195
00:08:01,146 --> 00:08:03,147
If she starts crying,
give her some money.
196
00:08:03,148 --> 00:08:05,149
That always works
with you.
197
00:08:05,150 --> 00:08:06,817
I don't know.
198
00:08:06,818 --> 00:08:09,153
My parents never talked to me
when I had a problem,
199
00:08:09,154 --> 00:08:10,654
And I turned out fine.
200
00:08:10,655 --> 00:08:11,989
We're never gonna make it.
201
00:08:11,990 --> 00:08:13,491
I got an idea.
202
00:08:13,492 --> 00:08:15,993
Do you see a fish eye?
203
00:08:15,994 --> 00:08:18,862
No, but I see
a chicken leg.
204
00:08:23,735 --> 00:08:26,104
Hello, johnny b. Goode's?
Who's this?
205
00:08:26,105 --> 00:08:28,306
Hey, spike, it's al.
You got a minute?
206
00:08:28,307 --> 00:08:31,409
The hell with the
people magazine interview.
207
00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:32,776
You gotta do me a favor.
208
00:08:32,777 --> 00:08:34,312
You know my friend
fat charlie?
209
00:08:34,313 --> 00:08:35,813
Yeah, the fat one.
210
00:08:35,814 --> 00:08:38,816
He's got number 50,
and I got 8.
211
00:08:38,817 --> 00:08:40,818
Would you mind
if I traded with him?
212
00:08:40,819 --> 00:08:43,321
Great. Would you go out
in the parking lot and tell him?
213
00:08:43,322 --> 00:08:45,823
I'll get there
when I can, okay?
214
00:08:45,824 --> 00:08:47,325
Rock 'n' roll forever.
215
00:08:47,326 --> 00:08:49,026
Come on, peg.
216
00:08:49,027 --> 00:08:50,828
The fries aren't
getting any younger.
217
00:08:50,829 --> 00:08:52,363
Neither are you.
218
00:08:52,364 --> 00:08:54,865
Marcie, I got three questions
for you.
219
00:08:54,866 --> 00:08:57,401
What are you doing
in a towel,
220
00:08:57,402 --> 00:09:00,338
What am I supposed to do
with the takahashi brothers,
221
00:09:00,339 --> 00:09:03,207
And why didn't you tell me
you mixed our rafting slides in
222
00:09:03,208 --> 00:09:06,710
With the ones of your sister
giving birth to the twins?
223
00:09:06,711 --> 00:09:10,248
Well, number one,
I spilled.
224
00:09:10,249 --> 00:09:14,552
Number two, get out our camera
and ask them how to use it.
225
00:09:14,553 --> 00:09:16,187
And number three,
226
00:09:16,188 --> 00:09:19,290
It's for a lecture I'm giving
at our women's group,
227
00:09:19,291 --> 00:09:20,958
"childbirth
and river rafting:
228
00:09:20,959 --> 00:09:23,694
Two of nature's
bumpy rides."
229
00:09:23,695 --> 00:09:25,796
Now go home,
go upstairs,
230
00:09:25,797 --> 00:09:28,299
Get me a dress,
and hurry!
231
00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:29,467
Which dress?
232
00:09:29,468 --> 00:09:30,968
The power dress.
233
00:09:30,969 --> 00:09:32,002
Now, go!
234
00:09:34,673 --> 00:09:37,675
Peg, does the phrase,
"hurry the hell up"
235
00:09:37,676 --> 00:09:39,277
Mean anything to you?
236
00:09:39,278 --> 00:09:41,179
I've taken care
of everything.
237
00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:42,680
We are one phone call away
238
00:09:42,681 --> 00:09:45,183
From this whole thing
being settled.
239
00:09:45,184 --> 00:09:46,684
[rings]
240
00:09:46,685 --> 00:09:48,186
Hello.
241
00:09:48,187 --> 00:09:49,620
Kelly, it's for you!
242
00:09:51,089 --> 00:09:52,590
That should do it.
243
00:09:52,591 --> 00:09:54,091
Marcie,
make yourself at home.
244
00:09:54,092 --> 00:09:56,093
Watch tv if you'd like.
245
00:09:56,094 --> 00:09:58,095
Oh, and don't
pet the dog.
246
00:09:58,096 --> 00:10:00,464
He might expect it
from us.
247
00:10:02,767 --> 00:10:04,768
Come on, peg.
Hurry up.
248
00:10:04,769 --> 00:10:06,270
People magazine's
down there.
249
00:10:06,271 --> 00:10:08,772
We might get
our picture taken.
250
00:10:08,773 --> 00:10:10,140
Oh! Oh! Oh!
251
00:10:13,878 --> 00:10:14,812
Come on!
252
00:10:15,947 --> 00:10:17,281
Kelly:
Mom!
253
00:10:17,282 --> 00:10:18,716
How could you?
254
00:10:18,717 --> 00:10:21,219
You made her mother
invite me?
255
00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:24,222
It was bad enough not being
invited in the first place.
256
00:10:24,223 --> 00:10:25,723
Now I'm the crybaby
257
00:10:25,724 --> 00:10:28,726
Who had her mother call
and beg to invite the nerd.
258
00:10:28,727 --> 00:10:30,828
That's what I am now.
The nerd.
259
00:10:30,829 --> 00:10:33,731
I spent 15 years bleaching
and dying and piercing
260
00:10:33,732 --> 00:10:35,733
Just to create
this awesome image,
261
00:10:35,734 --> 00:10:38,102
And it is shot to hell
with one phone call.
262
00:10:39,904 --> 00:10:40,971
Oh, daddy!
263
00:10:44,075 --> 00:10:45,943
But I was number 50!
264
00:10:49,481 --> 00:10:50,548
Honey,
265
00:10:50,549 --> 00:10:53,284
I know how you're
feeling right now,
266
00:10:53,285 --> 00:10:56,287
But look, things aren't
as bad as they seem.
267
00:10:56,288 --> 00:10:57,788
Even nerds get married.
268
00:10:57,789 --> 00:10:59,290
Look at marcie.
269
00:10:59,291 --> 00:11:03,294
Great. That's just how
I want to spend my life.
270
00:11:03,295 --> 00:11:06,297
Sitting there
in my natural hair color,
271
00:11:06,298 --> 00:11:07,665
Fondling a dead fish.
272
00:11:10,569 --> 00:11:12,870
Let me handle this, al.
273
00:11:12,871 --> 00:11:15,906
Kelly, honey, your friends
are mad at you now,
274
00:11:15,907 --> 00:11:17,441
But you'll
be a celebrity
275
00:11:17,442 --> 00:11:19,710
When they see the picture
of daddy and me
276
00:11:19,711 --> 00:11:21,111
In people magazine.
277
00:11:21,112 --> 00:11:23,414
I'll be there with my hands
tied behind my back,
278
00:11:23,415 --> 00:11:24,848
Eating bags of fries.
279
00:11:24,849 --> 00:11:26,651
Yeah, and I'll be
leading the crowd,
280
00:11:26,652 --> 00:11:30,354
Cheering, "chug a spud!
Chug a spud! Chug a spud!"
281
00:11:30,355 --> 00:11:33,824
Oh, how proud I'll be.
282
00:11:33,825 --> 00:11:36,427
Look, you guys go
and have a good time.
283
00:11:36,428 --> 00:11:37,728
I'll be okay.
284
00:11:37,729 --> 00:11:41,064
If I'm gonna be a nerd, fine.
I can deal with it.
285
00:11:41,065 --> 00:11:44,635
In fact, I'll start
practicing right now.
286
00:11:47,506 --> 00:11:51,175
Read any good books
lately, mrs. Rhoades?
287
00:11:51,176 --> 00:11:54,077
As a matter of fact,
I have.
288
00:11:55,414 --> 00:11:57,548
It's called
the living planet.
289
00:11:57,549 --> 00:11:59,550
Would you kill me
with it, please?
290
00:12:00,952 --> 00:12:03,187
No, look,
you guys just go.
291
00:12:03,188 --> 00:12:04,689
I mean, after all,
292
00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:06,590
If I had a chance
to have fun,
293
00:12:06,591 --> 00:12:08,892
I wouldn't let one of your
problems stop me from going.
294
00:12:08,893 --> 00:12:10,795
Of course,
I'm not a parent.
295
00:12:12,798 --> 00:12:15,633
Our little kelly
is really growing up, al.
296
00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:18,703
Sit up, dear.
297
00:12:18,704 --> 00:12:21,706
That's how you get
the bundy forehead.
298
00:12:21,707 --> 00:12:24,709
Come on, peg. We're
running out of time!
299
00:12:24,710 --> 00:12:26,210
Hi, dad. Mom.
300
00:12:26,211 --> 00:12:28,713
Honey, there's dinner
on the table
301
00:12:28,714 --> 00:12:30,848
Right next to
your sister's head.
302
00:12:30,849 --> 00:12:33,150
Where'd you put my car?
What car?
303
00:12:33,151 --> 00:12:34,652
Dad, tonight's the finals
304
00:12:34,653 --> 00:12:36,487
For the run 'em
and wreck 'em rally.
305
00:12:36,488 --> 00:12:39,022
I've got post position
in an hour.
306
00:12:39,023 --> 00:12:41,826
Are there gonna be
any nerds there? I'll come.
307
00:12:41,827 --> 00:12:45,028
You weren't invited,
kel.
308
00:12:45,029 --> 00:12:47,898
Bud, are you sure
I promised you?
309
00:12:47,899 --> 00:12:49,967
Dad, you said
you'd fix it last night
310
00:12:49,968 --> 00:12:52,603
If I'd sit on the cold pavement
in front of johnny b. Goode's
311
00:12:52,604 --> 00:12:56,106
With a bunch of sad old geezers
singing beach boys songs.
312
00:12:56,107 --> 00:12:57,608
But did I promise?
313
00:13:01,112 --> 00:13:02,480
Get the car, bud.
314
00:13:04,716 --> 00:13:06,216
We're never
gonna make it.
315
00:13:06,217 --> 00:13:08,619
I probably don't have
enough time to fix the car.
316
00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:12,356
Here, peg. You go
and have a good time.
317
00:13:12,357 --> 00:13:13,724
Aw, that's sweet, al.
318
00:13:13,725 --> 00:13:15,459
But I can't go
without you.
319
00:13:15,460 --> 00:13:19,162
My memories of johnny b. Goode's
are of us being together.
320
00:13:19,163 --> 00:13:20,731
I'm glad to hear
you say that.
321
00:13:20,732 --> 00:13:22,867
Because I had no intention
of giving you this ticket.
322
00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:24,668
Hurry up, bud!
323
00:13:24,669 --> 00:13:26,270
Never wanted to get married.
I'm married.
324
00:13:26,271 --> 00:13:28,773
Never wanted to have kids.
I got two of them.
325
00:13:28,774 --> 00:13:31,108
How the hell
did this happen?
326
00:13:34,579 --> 00:13:36,146
Hello, spike? Al.
327
00:13:36,147 --> 00:13:38,148
Listen,
is no-jaw mckenzie there?
328
00:13:38,149 --> 00:13:40,651
Yeah, the one
with no jaw.
329
00:13:40,652 --> 00:13:42,152
Is she there?
330
00:13:42,153 --> 00:13:44,655
Great. Listen,
she's got number 110.
331
00:13:44,656 --> 00:13:48,592
Tell her I'll trade
my number 50 for it, okay?
332
00:13:48,593 --> 00:13:51,695
Yeah, thanks. Rock 'n' roll--
yeah, something.
333
00:13:51,696 --> 00:13:53,531
Give me the car.
334
00:13:53,532 --> 00:13:55,299
Get out of my way.
335
00:13:57,101 --> 00:14:00,103
Nice to spend these father/son
moments together, dad.
336
00:14:00,104 --> 00:14:02,773
Shut up.
I'm trying to read.
337
00:14:02,774 --> 00:14:04,775
Oh, great.
This is japanese.
338
00:14:04,776 --> 00:14:06,276
Oh, here we go.
339
00:14:06,277 --> 00:14:08,278
Uh, "achtung!Ihr hapft dikaf--"
340
00:14:08,279 --> 00:14:09,780
These
aren't instructions.
341
00:14:09,781 --> 00:14:12,483
It's the history
of world war ii.
342
00:14:13,685 --> 00:14:15,453
Oh, here it is.
343
00:14:15,454 --> 00:14:16,954
Uh, "attention.Vous avez--"
344
00:14:16,955 --> 00:14:19,824
Hell. More people
we should have killed.
345
00:14:21,125 --> 00:14:22,460
Where's american?
346
00:14:22,461 --> 00:14:23,961
Oh, here it is.
347
00:14:23,962 --> 00:14:25,463
Here it is.
348
00:14:25,464 --> 00:14:26,964
"battery check before--
349
00:14:26,965 --> 00:14:29,467
To put cable on,
be sure--"
350
00:14:29,468 --> 00:14:31,469
Will you
hurry up, al?
351
00:14:31,470 --> 00:14:34,472
Yeah, I'll quit lollygagging
here any minute.
352
00:14:34,473 --> 00:14:37,475
Bud, here. Put these
batteries in something.
353
00:14:37,476 --> 00:14:38,843
See if they work.
354
00:14:42,581 --> 00:14:45,315
Dad, can I ask you
something real quick?
355
00:14:45,316 --> 00:14:46,784
Yeah, okay. What?
356
00:14:46,785 --> 00:14:48,452
What's mrs. Rhoades
doing in our living room
357
00:14:48,453 --> 00:14:49,587
Wearing your favorite towel?
358
00:14:49,588 --> 00:14:51,489
You want to hear
a long, boring story
359
00:14:51,490 --> 00:14:52,957
About a short,
boring woman,
360
00:14:52,958 --> 00:14:55,192
Or you want
your car fixed?
361
00:14:55,193 --> 00:14:58,261
All right.
"put the red terminal
362
00:14:58,262 --> 00:15:01,532
In the...
Leconduizez."
363
00:15:01,533 --> 00:15:04,034
Oh. My friends
the french again.
364
00:15:04,035 --> 00:15:06,103
"the conductor."
365
00:15:06,104 --> 00:15:09,172
Why don't they just say,
"put the red wire in the hole"?
366
00:15:09,173 --> 00:15:12,309
Oh, here it is.
"put the red wire in the hole."
367
00:15:12,310 --> 00:15:13,677
So typical.
368
00:15:13,678 --> 00:15:16,213
Over there solving
the male child's problems
369
00:15:16,214 --> 00:15:18,215
While your daughter
takes the back seat.
370
00:15:18,216 --> 00:15:20,551
You should be
used to that, kel.
371
00:15:24,656 --> 00:15:28,659
I know there was a mix-up
in the maternity ward.
372
00:15:28,660 --> 00:15:30,661
Somewhere
in a game preserve,
373
00:15:30,662 --> 00:15:32,663
Two orangutans
are picking lice
374
00:15:32,664 --> 00:15:35,198
Off the head of my
real baby brother.
375
00:15:35,199 --> 00:15:36,634
Al, talk to kelly.
376
00:15:36,635 --> 00:15:38,502
How was
your day, honey?
377
00:15:38,503 --> 00:15:40,337
You're standing
in my light, kelly!
378
00:15:40,338 --> 00:15:41,539
Daddy...
379
00:15:41,540 --> 00:15:44,575
You wanted advice,
I gave you advice.
380
00:15:44,576 --> 00:15:47,545
You didn't want advice,
I left you alone.
381
00:15:47,546 --> 00:15:49,013
Ok. Here's my advice--
382
00:15:49,014 --> 00:15:50,748
I'm not a monkey.
383
00:15:50,749 --> 00:15:52,382
We know, son.
384
00:15:55,687 --> 00:15:57,521
Is my dress ready yet?
385
00:15:57,522 --> 00:15:58,889
For your body? No.
386
00:16:00,025 --> 00:16:02,526
I'll go check on it.
387
00:16:02,527 --> 00:16:05,529
Kelly, there were plenty
of parties I wasn't invited to
388
00:16:05,530 --> 00:16:07,031
When I was a kid.
389
00:16:07,032 --> 00:16:09,600
There's a mystery.
390
00:16:09,601 --> 00:16:12,970
Here's another-- what the
hell's holding that towel up?
391
00:16:16,875 --> 00:16:19,043
So to continue, kelly.
392
00:16:19,044 --> 00:16:20,544
I just showed up.
393
00:16:20,545 --> 00:16:23,547
I just stood there,
big smile on my face.
394
00:16:23,548 --> 00:16:25,049
I said, "I'm here"
395
00:16:25,050 --> 00:16:27,551
And went straight
for the food.
396
00:16:27,552 --> 00:16:29,853
They didn't want me,
but I had a great time.
397
00:16:29,854 --> 00:16:31,555
And if they didn't,
too bad.
398
00:16:31,556 --> 00:16:34,558
If you want
to be there, be there,
399
00:16:34,559 --> 00:16:36,560
Even if they hate you.
400
00:16:36,561 --> 00:16:39,563
You're a bundy.
Start acting like one.
401
00:16:39,564 --> 00:16:42,066
I'm going to my room.
402
00:16:42,067 --> 00:16:44,034
That's a girl,
go where you want to go.
403
00:16:44,035 --> 00:16:46,070
I'm taking the binoculars.
404
00:16:46,071 --> 00:16:48,072
If I can't be there,
at least I can see
405
00:16:48,073 --> 00:16:50,074
The lights from my room...
406
00:16:50,075 --> 00:16:53,276
If I can fit the strap
over my forehead.
407
00:16:54,746 --> 00:16:58,582
Dad, I sure hope you're better
at fixing cars than lives.
408
00:16:58,583 --> 00:16:59,950
You call these lives?
409
00:17:01,119 --> 00:17:02,586
Almost ready, marce.
410
00:17:02,587 --> 00:17:05,589
How long does it take
to dry a dress?
411
00:17:05,590 --> 00:17:07,091
In the machine's defense,
412
00:17:07,092 --> 00:17:08,592
Al fixed that too.
413
00:17:08,593 --> 00:17:10,094
I have an announcement.
414
00:17:10,095 --> 00:17:11,261
Shut up.
415
00:17:11,262 --> 00:17:13,964
Where's steve?
416
00:17:13,965 --> 00:17:15,799
How long does it take
to find a dress?
417
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,602
It's not like he's
going through his stuff.
418
00:17:18,603 --> 00:17:21,605
His stuff has to be all
folded very carefully
419
00:17:21,606 --> 00:17:23,406
And neatly put away
in his drawers, all color-coded
420
00:17:23,407 --> 00:17:26,309
Like his stupid socks.
421
00:17:26,310 --> 00:17:27,678
Does al
have a sock drawer?
422
00:17:27,679 --> 00:17:28,979
Yeah. It's
called the floor.
423
00:17:30,982 --> 00:17:33,117
Radio: Johnny b. Goode'sis sure hopping tonight.
424
00:17:33,118 --> 00:17:34,118
Batteries work, dad.
425
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:35,452
Shh!
426
00:17:35,453 --> 00:17:38,288
Yes, it's closing nightat johnny b. Goode's,
427
00:17:38,289 --> 00:17:40,624
But we're having fun,aren't we?
428
00:17:40,625 --> 00:17:42,126
Yeah!
429
00:17:42,127 --> 00:17:43,593
Now stand away from the doors.
430
00:17:43,594 --> 00:17:44,995
We're getting readyto let people in
431
00:17:44,996 --> 00:17:47,564
With numbersfrom 100 to 150.
432
00:17:47,565 --> 00:17:50,067
Aw, peg!
I traded for 110!
433
00:17:50,068 --> 00:17:51,568
What am I gonna do?
434
00:17:51,569 --> 00:17:53,570
I'll call
your friend spike.
435
00:17:53,571 --> 00:17:56,073
And I'll tell him to trade
with my friend easy edie,
436
00:17:56,074 --> 00:17:59,576
You know, the one that turned
you down in high school?
437
00:17:59,577 --> 00:18:02,345
She's got number 198.
438
00:18:02,346 --> 00:18:06,083
Okay, we're almost readyfor the fry-eating contest!
439
00:18:06,084 --> 00:18:09,586
Chug a spud! Chug a spud!Chug a spud!
440
00:18:09,587 --> 00:18:11,588
Those people
are morons, dad.
441
00:18:11,589 --> 00:18:15,092
Give me the batteries.
I'm done with the car.
442
00:18:15,093 --> 00:18:17,594
What are all those
extra parts?
443
00:18:17,595 --> 00:18:19,096
They're--
they're extra parts,
444
00:18:19,097 --> 00:18:21,565
For koreans
or something.
445
00:18:21,566 --> 00:18:23,967
Steve, where
have you been?
446
00:18:23,968 --> 00:18:25,936
I got halfway
out the back door,
447
00:18:25,937 --> 00:18:28,605
And mr. Takahashi said,
"hey, where you go?"
448
00:18:28,606 --> 00:18:30,607
So I couldn't
just leave.
449
00:18:30,608 --> 00:18:32,943
We started
talking baseball.
450
00:18:32,944 --> 00:18:34,611
Then we got into the sake.
451
00:18:34,612 --> 00:18:38,148
I wrote a haiku.
452
00:18:39,550 --> 00:18:40,617
Give me this.
453
00:18:40,618 --> 00:18:44,088
You call this
a power dress?
454
00:18:44,089 --> 00:18:46,123
I can't wear this
among bankers!
455
00:18:46,124 --> 00:18:49,026
I was in a hurry, I grabbed
the first thing I saw.
456
00:18:49,027 --> 00:18:51,095
I did that once,
that's how I got peg.
457
00:18:53,531 --> 00:18:56,366
Marcie, there's nothing
wrong with that dress.
458
00:18:56,367 --> 00:18:59,536
Okay. We got number 198.
459
00:18:59,537 --> 00:19:01,371
Ooh! Nice dress.
460
00:19:03,541 --> 00:19:04,541
Sorry.
461
00:19:04,542 --> 00:19:06,043
[dryer buzzes]
462
00:19:06,044 --> 00:19:08,545
Never mind.
My dress is dry.
463
00:19:08,546 --> 00:19:10,547
Go back
and stall them.
464
00:19:10,548 --> 00:19:12,049
Right. Uh, let's see.
465
00:19:12,050 --> 00:19:14,551
Ooh! They mentioned
their new mercedes.
466
00:19:14,552 --> 00:19:17,254
I'll have them
show it to me.
467
00:19:17,255 --> 00:19:18,922
Ok! Here it is!
468
00:19:25,563 --> 00:19:26,930
There it goes.
469
00:19:28,066 --> 00:19:30,567
I saw that.
470
00:19:30,568 --> 00:19:32,569
Okay, okay, must be something
wrong with the batteries
471
00:19:32,570 --> 00:19:33,937
In the remote control.
472
00:19:33,938 --> 00:19:36,140
Are you sure it couldn't be
one of those extra parts.
473
00:19:36,141 --> 00:19:39,076
You said that about
our real car, didn't you bud?
474
00:19:39,077 --> 00:19:40,577
And it's running fine.
475
00:19:40,578 --> 00:19:42,579
I mean, it's running good enough
that it can slam
476
00:19:42,580 --> 00:19:45,048
Into a $40,000 mercedes
and keep on going.
477
00:19:45,049 --> 00:19:48,518
Radio: Chug a spud!Chug a spud! Chug a spud!
478
00:19:48,519 --> 00:19:51,521
That's a recordso far tonight, eight bags.
479
00:19:51,522 --> 00:19:55,525
Once there was a guywho could eat 10 bags--
480
00:19:55,526 --> 00:19:57,027
Al "the pig" bundy.
481
00:19:57,028 --> 00:20:00,530
He wouldn't pay for them,but he'd eat them.
482
00:20:00,531 --> 00:20:02,833
Well, it looks likethey're going to be
483
00:20:02,834 --> 00:20:05,035
Seating the last groupin about 10 minutes.
484
00:20:05,036 --> 00:20:07,037
That meansit's last call...
485
00:20:07,038 --> 00:20:08,538
For cholesterol!
486
00:20:08,539 --> 00:20:12,042
Remember, you can stillbe a part of history.
487
00:20:12,043 --> 00:20:15,545
When we announce the doorsare closed for good,
488
00:20:15,546 --> 00:20:18,548
We want people all over chicagoto honk their horns
489
00:20:18,549 --> 00:20:21,418
To say goodbyeto johnny b. Goode's.
490
00:20:27,558 --> 00:20:30,294
I wish I were dead.
491
00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:32,162
I wish I was blind.
492
00:20:35,066 --> 00:20:38,568
I guess I can just
kiss this job goodbye.
493
00:20:38,569 --> 00:20:42,072
They're trust their bank
to some harlot.
494
00:20:42,073 --> 00:20:45,075
I might as well
put on go-go boots
495
00:20:45,076 --> 00:20:47,410
And sing
nancy sinatra songs.
496
00:20:47,411 --> 00:20:49,012
Well, I like it.
497
00:20:49,013 --> 00:20:50,513
I think you
should be proud.
498
00:20:50,514 --> 00:20:52,716
Just go on in there
and show them what you got.
499
00:20:52,717 --> 00:20:54,985
That's how peg got me.
500
00:20:54,986 --> 00:20:58,822
I'd never let any real people
see me in this.
501
00:20:58,823 --> 00:21:00,090
That's it!
502
00:21:00,091 --> 00:21:03,026
I just saw judy's trying
to steal back the boyfriend
503
00:21:03,027 --> 00:21:04,527
I stole from her.
504
00:21:04,528 --> 00:21:07,530
I'm not letting her
get away with it.
505
00:21:07,531 --> 00:21:09,032
I'm a bundy.
506
00:21:09,033 --> 00:21:11,034
I'm going right over there
and knock her teeth out.
507
00:21:11,035 --> 00:21:12,903
Nice dress,
mrs. Rhoades.
508
00:21:15,039 --> 00:21:19,042
Well, if she can do it,
I can do it.
509
00:21:19,043 --> 00:21:21,544
I'm not a bundy--
thank god--
510
00:21:21,545 --> 00:21:24,047
But I'm going home
right now
511
00:21:24,048 --> 00:21:25,415
And getting that job.
512
00:21:27,752 --> 00:21:30,921
There. I think they were
just put in wrong.
513
00:21:38,096 --> 00:21:40,063
It's working.
Get out.
514
00:21:40,064 --> 00:21:41,231
Thanks, dad.
515
00:21:41,232 --> 00:21:45,735
Peg, as much as I hate
to see you run, run.
516
00:21:45,736 --> 00:21:48,538
How much time
have we got, al?
517
00:21:51,509 --> 00:21:54,378
[horns honking]
518
00:21:59,517 --> 00:22:01,518
Well, johnny be gone.
519
00:22:01,519 --> 00:22:04,521
We just missed
the end of an era.
520
00:22:04,522 --> 00:22:05,389
Yep.
521
00:22:07,025 --> 00:22:09,526
Well, we'll start a new era.
522
00:22:09,527 --> 00:22:12,029
How? We don't
have any traditions.
523
00:22:12,030 --> 00:22:13,397
We're bundys.
524
00:22:13,398 --> 00:22:15,532
We still have one tradition.
525
00:22:15,533 --> 00:22:17,100
Remember what
we used to do
526
00:22:17,101 --> 00:22:19,937
When we came back
from johnny b. Goode's?
527
00:22:19,938 --> 00:22:21,771
In my parents'
living room?
528
00:22:21,772 --> 00:22:22,906
Yeah.
529
00:22:29,847 --> 00:22:31,614
[turns on television]
530
00:22:46,164 --> 00:22:48,798
[♪]
37648
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