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[♪]
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♪ love and marriage ♪
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♪ love and marriage ♪
4
00:00:20,519 --> 00:00:22,320
♪ go together like ♪
5
00:00:22,321 --> 00:00:24,789
♪ a horse and carriage ♪
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♪ this I tell ya, brother ♪
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♪ you can't have one ♪
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♪ without the other ♪
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♪ love and marriage ♪
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♪ love and marriage ♪
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♪ it's an institute ♪
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♪ you can't disparage ♪
13
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♪ ask the local gentry ♪
14
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♪ and they will say
it's elementary ♪
15
00:00:50,650 --> 00:00:55,453
♪ try, try, try
to separate them ♪
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00:00:55,454 --> 00:00:59,157
♪ it's an illusion ♪
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00:00:59,158 --> 00:01:04,295
♪ try, try, try
and you will only come ♪
18
00:01:04,296 --> 00:01:07,732
♪ to this conclusion ♪
19
00:01:07,733 --> 00:01:09,834
♪ love and marriage ♪
20
00:01:17,643 --> 00:01:20,511
Al, come on down!
It's time for work!
21
00:01:23,983 --> 00:01:25,483
Come on, honey.
22
00:01:25,484 --> 00:01:28,486
I'm making you
a nice, hot breakfast.
23
00:01:28,487 --> 00:01:31,990
Just listen
to that bacon sizzle.
24
00:01:33,993 --> 00:01:35,459
[doorbell rings]
25
00:01:35,460 --> 00:01:36,895
Keep it hot, peg.
26
00:01:36,896 --> 00:01:38,396
I'll be down
in a minute.
27
00:01:38,397 --> 00:01:40,098
Sure, I will.
28
00:01:40,099 --> 00:01:42,100
Peggy, I've got
some great news.
29
00:01:42,101 --> 00:01:44,602
Two men came
to our house--
30
00:01:44,603 --> 00:01:46,604
Al, I'm going
over to marcie's!
31
00:01:46,605 --> 00:01:47,972
They're gone now.
32
00:01:50,209 --> 00:01:51,776
Al, marcie's here.
33
00:01:51,777 --> 00:01:54,779
Nice try, peg,
but I'm still hungry.
34
00:01:54,780 --> 00:01:56,280
Where's my breakfast?
35
00:01:56,281 --> 00:01:57,882
The dog ate it.
36
00:01:57,883 --> 00:02:02,486
I see he put the pots
and pans away too.
37
00:02:02,487 --> 00:02:06,490
Al, I was just telling peggy
about this great idea.
38
00:02:06,491 --> 00:02:09,493
You know that little hole
in your driveway,
39
00:02:09,494 --> 00:02:11,495
The one all the neighborhood
children splash and play in
40
00:02:11,496 --> 00:02:13,497
After it rains?
41
00:02:13,498 --> 00:02:15,100
These guys just finished
a major repaving job
42
00:02:15,101 --> 00:02:17,001
A couple of blocks from here.
43
00:02:17,002 --> 00:02:20,504
And they offered to redo both
our driveways for only $500.
44
00:02:20,505 --> 00:02:22,073
Isn't that great?
45
00:02:22,074 --> 00:02:23,574
I don't know.
46
00:02:23,575 --> 00:02:26,577
I tried to get al to fix
the driveway a long time ago,
47
00:02:26,578 --> 00:02:28,079
But his philosophy is
48
00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:32,050
"why improve a home you're
only going to live in anyway?"
49
00:02:33,753 --> 00:02:35,754
Al, can you think
of a better way
50
00:02:35,755 --> 00:02:37,622
To raise the value
of your home
51
00:02:37,623 --> 00:02:39,224
And save a little money
in the bargain?
52
00:02:39,225 --> 00:02:41,559
Sure.
Pack your bags, hon.
53
00:02:43,295 --> 00:02:45,296
Look they said we have
to do this right away
54
00:02:45,297 --> 00:02:46,297
Or they'll be gone.
55
00:02:46,298 --> 00:02:47,999
And I think
it's a great deal.
56
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,635
Uh-huh.
What does steve think?
57
00:02:50,636 --> 00:02:53,138
Well, he's in buffalo
at a meeting
58
00:02:53,139 --> 00:02:54,973
Of tellers
against the penny.
59
00:02:54,974 --> 00:02:56,374
Steve firmly believes
that the one-cent piece
60
00:02:56,375 --> 00:02:57,541
Is a thing of the past.
61
00:02:57,542 --> 00:03:00,245
Well, I'm sure the feeling
is mutual.
62
00:03:00,246 --> 00:03:01,746
Come on, al, make a decision.
63
00:03:01,747 --> 00:03:04,715
These guys are leaving
the neighborhood.
64
00:03:04,716 --> 00:03:05,917
Of course they're leaving
the neighborhood.
65
00:03:05,918 --> 00:03:07,051
These guys are crooks.
66
00:03:07,052 --> 00:03:08,452
First you gotta believe
they just happen
67
00:03:08,453 --> 00:03:09,954
To be in the neighborhood.
68
00:03:09,955 --> 00:03:12,090
And second, we have to believe
69
00:03:12,091 --> 00:03:13,457
These two guys see marcie,
70
00:03:13,458 --> 00:03:15,393
And they're willing
to come back.
71
00:03:16,962 --> 00:03:18,997
I mean, is there
nothing so stupid
72
00:03:18,998 --> 00:03:21,166
That some woman
won't fall for it?
73
00:03:21,167 --> 00:03:23,034
I fell for you,
sweetie.
74
00:03:24,670 --> 00:03:26,171
How could you marry
75
00:03:26,172 --> 00:03:28,173
Such a chauvinistic,
sexist man?
76
00:03:28,174 --> 00:03:29,507
A dare.
77
00:03:30,876 --> 00:03:32,243
Look, I'm not sexist.
78
00:03:32,244 --> 00:03:35,246
I'm just saying women
don't know nothing.
79
00:03:35,247 --> 00:03:38,249
Asphalt and finances
are male-oriented fields.
80
00:03:38,250 --> 00:03:42,753
Since steve is as close
to a male as you have,
81
00:03:42,754 --> 00:03:44,789
He should be in
on the decision.
82
00:03:44,790 --> 00:03:47,158
I'll have you know
I have a degree in economics
83
00:03:47,159 --> 00:03:50,661
And work as a loan
officer in a bank.
84
00:03:50,662 --> 00:03:52,096
So if anything,
I am more qualified
85
00:03:52,097 --> 00:03:54,866
To make financial
decisions than you are.
86
00:03:54,867 --> 00:03:58,536
As good as you bankers
may be at saying,
87
00:03:58,537 --> 00:04:00,038
"we're sorry,
farmer brown,
88
00:04:00,039 --> 00:04:02,040
We're foreclosing.
Go sell pencils,"
89
00:04:02,041 --> 00:04:04,542
In this house,
I'm the boss,
90
00:04:04,543 --> 00:04:07,111
And I make
the financial decisions.
91
00:04:07,112 --> 00:04:10,915
And what a shrewd financial
decider he is too.
92
00:04:10,916 --> 00:04:14,085
Come on, honey.
Tell her about the time
93
00:04:14,086 --> 00:04:16,254
You shrewdly decided not
to buy into that property
94
00:04:16,255 --> 00:04:20,591
That some sucker
built the sears tower on.
95
00:04:20,592 --> 00:04:22,093
Don't forget, peg.
96
00:04:22,094 --> 00:04:24,095
The money
we saved there
97
00:04:24,096 --> 00:04:27,098
Allowed us to buy
that 2/3 acre
98
00:04:27,099 --> 00:04:28,599
On lake chicamacomico.
99
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:30,101
It may not look
like much now,
100
00:04:30,102 --> 00:04:31,302
But when they figure
out how
101
00:04:31,303 --> 00:04:34,105
To keep plants
and animals alive there,
102
00:04:34,106 --> 00:04:35,840
That's gonna be quite
a little paradise.
103
00:04:35,841 --> 00:04:39,543
I'll bet. But al, I know
a good thing when I see it too.
104
00:04:39,544 --> 00:04:41,746
And even without you,
the deal is still a good one,
105
00:04:41,747 --> 00:04:43,514
And I'm going to do it.
106
00:04:43,515 --> 00:04:46,317
Well, you are woman.
Go out and roar.
107
00:04:48,420 --> 00:04:50,021
Mmm. I'm full.
108
00:04:52,157 --> 00:04:54,525
Peg, as usual,
every day's thanksgiving.
109
00:04:56,228 --> 00:04:58,496
I'm going to work.
110
00:04:58,497 --> 00:05:00,131
Marce, I'll see you tonight.
111
00:05:00,132 --> 00:05:01,499
What for?
112
00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:02,901
Well, after these guys
rip you off,
113
00:05:02,902 --> 00:05:04,769
You'll be back
to tell me I was right.
114
00:05:04,770 --> 00:05:06,237
Because I will be.
115
00:05:06,238 --> 00:05:08,873
You're that sure of yourself?
116
00:05:08,874 --> 00:05:12,010
Marcie, I'd bet
my retirement property on it
117
00:05:12,011 --> 00:05:16,647
If the army didn't
have it padlocked.
118
00:05:16,648 --> 00:05:19,784
Peggy, I cannot for the life
of me understand
119
00:05:19,785 --> 00:05:21,219
How you live with that man.
120
00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:23,388
Well, in al's defense,
121
00:05:23,389 --> 00:05:26,958
What with overtime,
television, and the bathroom,
122
00:05:26,959 --> 00:05:29,227
I really don't
see him very much.
123
00:05:30,129 --> 00:05:32,063
See you later.
124
00:05:34,633 --> 00:05:37,368
Mom, big news down the block.
125
00:05:37,369 --> 00:05:39,670
The cops just arrested
these two guys
126
00:05:39,671 --> 00:05:41,906
Trying to pull
the old asphalt scam.
127
00:05:41,907 --> 00:05:43,107
They what?
128
00:05:43,108 --> 00:05:44,708
Yeah, you know the one where
they offer
129
00:05:44,709 --> 00:05:45,977
To redo
your driveway real cheap,
130
00:05:45,978 --> 00:05:47,979
But they just use oil,
131
00:05:47,980 --> 00:05:50,982
So when it rains,
it all washes away.
132
00:05:50,983 --> 00:05:54,986
You have to be a real feeb
to fall for that one.
133
00:06:00,292 --> 00:06:01,759
Who are you calling?
134
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:05,263
Al's mother. I told him
I'd invite her for the summer
135
00:06:05,264 --> 00:06:07,098
The next time he was right
about anything.
136
00:06:07,099 --> 00:06:09,000
Well, how do you think
he'll take it?
137
00:06:09,001 --> 00:06:10,068
Take what?
138
00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:11,869
Hello?
139
00:06:11,870 --> 00:06:14,672
My having to tell al
he was right.
140
00:06:14,673 --> 00:06:17,641
You're not seriously
going to do that are you?
141
00:06:17,642 --> 00:06:18,742
Hello?
142
00:06:18,743 --> 00:06:20,644
Well, I have to.
He's bound to find out
143
00:06:20,645 --> 00:06:22,213
If he hasn't already.
144
00:06:22,214 --> 00:06:24,248
Marcie, let me
tell you something.
145
00:06:24,249 --> 00:06:25,583
Peggy, is that you--?
146
00:06:25,584 --> 00:06:29,553
In the 16 years that
I've been married to al,
147
00:06:29,554 --> 00:06:31,555
I've learned there are certain
things never to ask for.
148
00:06:31,556 --> 00:06:34,892
Never approach him for sex
during wide world of sports.
149
00:06:34,893 --> 00:06:39,597
Oh, unless women's gymnastics
are on, then you got a shot.
150
00:06:39,598 --> 00:06:42,600
Never approach him
for sex in the morning.
151
00:06:42,601 --> 00:06:44,602
He thinks that
is just disgusting.
152
00:06:44,603 --> 00:06:47,071
And never ever
tell him he's right.
153
00:06:47,072 --> 00:06:48,206
Why?
154
00:06:48,207 --> 00:06:50,441
Because he's a man, marcie.
155
00:06:50,442 --> 00:06:51,709
And the only thing uglier
156
00:06:51,710 --> 00:06:56,280
Than a man who thinks
he's right is al.
157
00:06:56,281 --> 00:06:59,117
Believe me, I know this
from experience.
158
00:06:59,118 --> 00:07:01,519
Let me tell you a story.
159
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:02,920
A few years after
we were married
160
00:07:02,921 --> 00:07:05,623
I told al that I could
hold up a fender
161
00:07:05,624 --> 00:07:07,758
So he could fix
the flat tire.
162
00:07:07,759 --> 00:07:11,629
He said, "no, let a man do it."
I said I could.
163
00:07:11,630 --> 00:07:14,132
So to make a long
story short,
164
00:07:14,133 --> 00:07:17,135
A man had to set
his leg that night.
165
00:07:17,136 --> 00:07:20,571
But, to this day, whenever I ask
al to do something for me,
166
00:07:20,572 --> 00:07:21,772
That he doesn't want to do,
167
00:07:21,773 --> 00:07:24,075
He lifts up that leg
and says he can't
168
00:07:24,076 --> 00:07:26,077
And that it's my fault.
169
00:07:26,078 --> 00:07:29,080
The worst part
about it is, he's right.
170
00:07:29,081 --> 00:07:32,450
Marcie, don't let him
lift his leg on you.
171
00:07:40,259 --> 00:07:42,760
Al: Guess, I'll see youtonight, marce.
172
00:07:42,761 --> 00:07:43,928
Marcie:
What for?
173
00:07:43,929 --> 00:07:45,863
Al: To tell meI was right.
174
00:07:45,864 --> 00:07:47,865
Peg: You're not seriouslygoing to do that, are you?
175
00:07:47,866 --> 00:07:50,935
Al:
Tell me I was right.
176
00:07:50,936 --> 00:07:52,437
I was right.
177
00:07:52,438 --> 00:07:53,971
Steve:
Marcie, I'm back!
178
00:07:56,775 --> 00:07:58,276
Steve?
179
00:07:58,277 --> 00:08:01,779
I thought you weren't due back
till tomorrow night.
180
00:08:01,780 --> 00:08:03,147
I missed you.
181
00:08:06,285 --> 00:08:08,286
I'm sorry I didn't call.
182
00:08:08,287 --> 00:08:10,988
So you want
to fool around?
183
00:08:10,989 --> 00:08:13,458
Well, sure.
184
00:08:16,295 --> 00:08:18,662
I'm so glad to hear that.
185
00:08:25,971 --> 00:08:27,338
[doorbell rings]
186
00:08:32,244 --> 00:08:34,745
I haven't slept
in 18 hours.
187
00:08:34,746 --> 00:08:39,049
Oh, steve's
not back yet.
188
00:08:39,050 --> 00:08:41,252
You have those
empty bed blues, huh?
189
00:08:41,253 --> 00:08:44,054
Well, yes and no.
190
00:08:44,055 --> 00:08:46,657
Peggy,
do you ever dream?
191
00:08:46,658 --> 00:08:49,960
Nah. Why dream,
when I have all this?
192
00:08:53,599 --> 00:08:56,601
No, I mean do you
ever have dreams?
193
00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:59,970
Nightmares? I had
a real doozy last night.
194
00:08:59,971 --> 00:09:01,472
What about?
195
00:09:01,473 --> 00:09:02,473
Al.
196
00:09:02,474 --> 00:09:03,641
Al?
197
00:09:03,642 --> 00:09:05,176
My al?
198
00:09:05,177 --> 00:09:07,512
Yeah. See,
I was asleep--
199
00:09:07,513 --> 00:09:08,979
Did he have feet?
200
00:09:10,782 --> 00:09:11,982
Beg pardon?
201
00:09:11,983 --> 00:09:13,284
It's funny.
202
00:09:13,285 --> 00:09:16,287
In my dreams,
al never has any feet.
203
00:09:16,288 --> 00:09:19,123
Oh, well. Go on.
204
00:09:19,124 --> 00:09:21,526
In my dream,
steve came in
205
00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:26,764
And asked me if I wanted
to fool around.
206
00:09:26,765 --> 00:09:28,966
And when I said yes,
he turned and it was al.
207
00:09:28,967 --> 00:09:30,100
My al?
208
00:09:30,101 --> 00:09:32,203
Well, then what happened?
209
00:09:32,204 --> 00:09:33,371
Nothing.
210
00:09:33,372 --> 00:09:35,239
Yep, sounds like my al.
211
00:09:37,942 --> 00:09:40,211
I hope you're
not upset, peggy.
212
00:09:40,212 --> 00:09:42,713
About a dream?
Don't be silly.
213
00:09:42,714 --> 00:09:46,217
Plus, if you dreamed that
al was in your bedroom,
214
00:09:46,218 --> 00:09:48,886
I should be
apologizing to you.
215
00:09:48,887 --> 00:09:49,920
Thanks, peggy.
216
00:09:51,156 --> 00:09:53,658
Oh, but could you
do me a favor?
217
00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:56,126
Please don't
tell al about this.
218
00:09:56,127 --> 00:09:57,628
Oh, don't worry.
219
00:09:57,629 --> 00:10:00,130
But could you do
something for me?
220
00:10:00,131 --> 00:10:02,633
If you ever dream
about al again,
221
00:10:02,634 --> 00:10:05,636
Could you check and see
if he has any feet?
222
00:10:05,637 --> 00:10:07,137
That really bothers me.
223
00:10:07,138 --> 00:10:08,406
Sure thing.
224
00:10:09,841 --> 00:10:11,342
Hi, marce.
Hi, peg.
225
00:10:11,343 --> 00:10:13,578
Bye, peggy...Al.
226
00:10:17,516 --> 00:10:18,982
What's with her?
227
00:10:18,983 --> 00:10:22,152
She had a dream she slept
with you last night.
228
00:10:24,789 --> 00:10:26,156
Oh, yeah?
229
00:10:27,292 --> 00:10:28,659
She's a lucky gal.
230
00:10:34,132 --> 00:10:35,333
Steve:
Marcie, I'm home.
231
00:10:36,968 --> 00:10:38,236
Steve?
232
00:10:38,237 --> 00:10:39,403
Yeah.
233
00:10:40,639 --> 00:10:42,072
Sorry I'm late, honey.
234
00:10:42,073 --> 00:10:45,075
The pro-penny people
pelted us with nickels.
235
00:10:47,145 --> 00:10:48,613
Did I wake you?
236
00:10:48,614 --> 00:10:50,914
Steve, it is you.
237
00:10:50,915 --> 00:10:52,416
Of course it's me.
238
00:10:52,417 --> 00:10:53,751
Give me a hug.
239
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:56,820
Did you miss me?
240
00:10:56,821 --> 00:10:57,988
Mm-hmm.
241
00:10:57,989 --> 00:10:59,156
Don't worry.
242
00:10:59,157 --> 00:11:01,091
Daddy's home.
243
00:11:02,794 --> 00:11:06,029
And daddy's going
to make it all better.
244
00:11:11,336 --> 00:11:12,970
Steve:
Marcie, I'm home.
245
00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:18,809
Hon, you wouldn't believe
the traffic over o'hare tonight.
246
00:11:21,946 --> 00:11:23,381
I swear...
247
00:11:23,382 --> 00:11:27,351
Someday that's where they're
going to find amelia earhart.
248
00:11:30,289 --> 00:11:31,322
But...
249
00:11:32,457 --> 00:11:34,124
The eagle has landed.
250
00:11:37,296 --> 00:11:39,229
You want to fool around?
251
00:11:51,610 --> 00:11:53,678
Pizza's here.
252
00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:56,847
Kelly, you know that's not
the way to hold a pizza.
253
00:11:56,848 --> 00:11:59,049
Mom, have you ever tried
to carry one of these things
254
00:11:59,050 --> 00:12:01,752
Sitting on the back
of a harley going 60
255
00:12:01,753 --> 00:12:03,854
While trying to hold
onto a fat guy
256
00:12:03,855 --> 00:12:05,823
Who's wearing nothing
but chains and black leather.
257
00:12:05,824 --> 00:12:09,727
Yes, I have, and that is
not the way to do it.
258
00:12:13,365 --> 00:12:16,867
Mom, are we gonna do anything
different this summer?
259
00:12:16,868 --> 00:12:19,870
Well, daddy got seats
for the ballgames again.
260
00:12:19,871 --> 00:12:21,038
Oh, puke.
261
00:12:21,039 --> 00:12:22,740
I thought
you liked the cubs.
262
00:12:22,741 --> 00:12:24,742
I do, I just hate watching
them from the roof
263
00:12:24,743 --> 00:12:28,045
Of that apartment building
where dad always gets his seats.
264
00:12:28,046 --> 00:12:29,447
Well, honey, maybe someday
they'll forget about
265
00:12:29,448 --> 00:12:32,216
That fan interference call
266
00:12:32,217 --> 00:12:35,219
That kept the cubs
out of the world series
267
00:12:35,220 --> 00:12:37,755
And let daddy back
into the stadium.
268
00:12:37,756 --> 00:12:39,957
I hope so,
because it looks so stupid
269
00:12:39,958 --> 00:12:43,227
With just us and the polaskis
doing the wave.
270
00:12:43,228 --> 00:12:44,729
[doorbell rings]
271
00:12:52,337 --> 00:12:53,838
Marcie, you're a wreck.
272
00:12:53,839 --> 00:12:56,874
Oh, I see.
273
00:12:56,875 --> 00:12:58,376
Steve got back,
274
00:12:58,377 --> 00:13:02,380
And you two were at it
all night, huh?
275
00:13:02,381 --> 00:13:03,848
No.
276
00:13:03,849 --> 00:13:05,850
I had
that dream again...
277
00:13:05,851 --> 00:13:07,217
With al.
278
00:13:10,355 --> 00:13:12,757
See, this is the part where
you're supposed to make a joke
279
00:13:12,758 --> 00:13:14,358
About al being quick
in the sack
280
00:13:14,359 --> 00:13:15,760
So I can laugh
and see that
281
00:13:15,761 --> 00:13:17,127
You're not really mad
or anything.
282
00:13:17,128 --> 00:13:18,529
Marcie, that's two nights
in a row.
283
00:13:18,530 --> 00:13:21,699
Al hasn't been quick
in the sack with me
284
00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:24,268
For two nights
in a row in years.
285
00:13:24,269 --> 00:13:26,303
Hey, you think
I'm enjoying this?
286
00:13:26,304 --> 00:13:28,672
I was throwing up
all night.
287
00:13:28,673 --> 00:13:31,542
Well, so did I at first,
but it passes.
288
00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:38,682
Whatever happened to "it's only
a dream. Don't worry about it?"
289
00:13:38,683 --> 00:13:41,685
Peggy, can't you see what hell
my life's becoming?
290
00:13:41,686 --> 00:13:44,187
I haven't slept
in 48 hours.
291
00:13:44,188 --> 00:13:45,689
Steve's mad at me
292
00:13:45,690 --> 00:13:48,659
Because every time
he brings up sex, I get sick.
293
00:13:48,660 --> 00:13:50,628
And now you're
yelling at me.
294
00:13:50,629 --> 00:13:52,129
And why not?
295
00:13:52,130 --> 00:13:55,098
You're the one dreaming
around with my husband.
296
00:13:55,099 --> 00:13:56,934
Hey, peg.
297
00:13:56,935 --> 00:13:57,968
Ha!
298
00:14:00,138 --> 00:14:01,371
Hey, marce.
299
00:14:04,676 --> 00:14:07,244
I tell you,
what a day.
300
00:14:12,851 --> 00:14:15,853
All day long,
it's pick up the shoes.
301
00:14:15,854 --> 00:14:18,856
Put down the shoes.
Pick up the shoes.
302
00:14:18,857 --> 00:14:22,359
Tomorrow ought to be
a good day for you.
303
00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:24,361
Tomorrow
I wash the car...
304
00:14:24,362 --> 00:14:26,229
In my t-shirt.
305
00:14:27,532 --> 00:14:31,201
I can't believe
you told him.
306
00:14:31,202 --> 00:14:33,070
I can't believe
you dream about him.
307
00:14:33,071 --> 00:14:35,072
I can't believe
everybody doesn't.
308
00:14:37,709 --> 00:14:39,443
I'm mortified.
309
00:14:39,444 --> 00:14:40,811
Well, get happy.
310
00:14:47,385 --> 00:14:50,320
Well, peg, it looks
like another little filly
311
00:14:50,321 --> 00:14:52,189
In the old
bundy stable.
312
00:14:53,324 --> 00:14:55,125
Get me a beer, will ya?
313
00:14:55,126 --> 00:14:57,761
Al, what are you doing
in marcie's dream?
314
00:14:57,762 --> 00:15:00,130
Ruining her
for all other men.
315
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:04,802
You are doing something
to cause those dreams.
316
00:15:04,803 --> 00:15:07,805
Now I don't know what it is,
but I want you to cut it out.
317
00:15:07,806 --> 00:15:10,107
I'll cut it out, peg,
just tell me what to do.
318
00:15:10,108 --> 00:15:11,942
What should I do,
stop wearing t-shirts?
319
00:15:11,943 --> 00:15:15,613
Stop oozing sex
from every pore?
320
00:15:15,614 --> 00:15:18,849
That isn't sex, al.
321
00:15:18,850 --> 00:15:20,885
What should I do, peg?
322
00:15:20,886 --> 00:15:22,887
Well, you could
come upstairs
323
00:15:22,888 --> 00:15:25,890
And be my dreamlover
for a while.
324
00:15:25,891 --> 00:15:27,391
Peg, not tonight.
325
00:15:27,392 --> 00:15:29,760
This leg has
been acting up.
326
00:15:31,362 --> 00:15:34,197
Ever since that night
with the car...
327
00:15:34,198 --> 00:15:35,265
Fine, fine.
328
00:15:35,266 --> 00:15:36,700
Then let's discuss
who else's dreams
329
00:15:36,701 --> 00:15:39,703
You've been
gallivanting around in.
330
00:15:39,704 --> 00:15:42,205
Perhaps mrs. Pritchard
across the street.
331
00:15:42,206 --> 00:15:46,209
I've seen how she looks
at you over her walker.
332
00:15:46,210 --> 00:15:48,012
If you think...
333
00:15:54,485 --> 00:15:56,520
♪ if you want my body ♪
334
00:15:56,521 --> 00:15:58,488
♪ and you think I'm sexy ♪
335
00:15:58,489 --> 00:16:01,692
♪ come on, sugar
let me know ♪
336
00:16:04,495 --> 00:16:06,797
♪ if you really
need me ♪
337
00:16:06,798 --> 00:16:08,832
♪ just reach out
and touch me ♪
338
00:16:08,833 --> 00:16:11,334
Steve, please.
I'm trying to read.
339
00:16:11,335 --> 00:16:13,203
You don't have to stop.
340
00:16:13,204 --> 00:16:15,105
Just get me a hammer
and I'll just nail
341
00:16:15,106 --> 00:16:16,040
That sucker to the ceiling.
342
00:16:17,341 --> 00:16:18,341
Steve!
343
00:16:18,342 --> 00:16:19,843
I have a question.
344
00:16:19,844 --> 00:16:21,579
Do you think
it's possible
345
00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:23,847
To dream that you're
interpreting a dream
346
00:16:23,848 --> 00:16:25,549
Or must you be
awake to do this?
347
00:16:25,550 --> 00:16:27,551
And what are dreams anyway?
348
00:16:27,552 --> 00:16:30,120
Could we just be the dream
of some greater sleeping being?
349
00:16:30,121 --> 00:16:33,857
And if so, are we then
in fact real?
350
00:16:35,359 --> 00:16:37,061
I want sex, marcie.
351
00:16:40,865 --> 00:16:42,733
I think I'm
getting nauseous.
352
00:16:44,368 --> 00:16:46,203
All right. That's it.
353
00:16:46,204 --> 00:16:50,440
Look, I've asked more
than a couple of women
354
00:16:50,441 --> 00:16:52,843
To go to bed with me
in my time.
355
00:16:52,844 --> 00:16:54,244
While I admit some
of their responses
356
00:16:54,245 --> 00:16:56,213
May have been somewhat cruel,
357
00:16:56,214 --> 00:17:01,752
Not very many jumped up and
stuck their heads in the toilet.
358
00:17:01,753 --> 00:17:03,587
Now something strange
is going on here,
359
00:17:03,588 --> 00:17:05,889
And I demand
to know what it is.
360
00:17:05,890 --> 00:17:07,390
Don't toy with me, marcie.
361
00:17:07,391 --> 00:17:10,260
I'm horny,
and I've been to buffalo.
362
00:17:14,733 --> 00:17:17,400
Well...Okay,
I'll tell you,
363
00:17:17,401 --> 00:17:20,904
But you have to promise
not to get angry.
364
00:17:20,905 --> 00:17:22,405
Fine.
365
00:17:22,406 --> 00:17:24,742
Well, it's
like this...
366
00:17:26,911 --> 00:17:27,878
Steve:
Al?!
367
00:17:30,081 --> 00:17:31,682
And where are you
when I dream, huh?
368
00:17:31,683 --> 00:17:34,217
Where were you when
I dreamt I was drowning?
369
00:17:34,218 --> 00:17:35,853
How could I swim?
370
00:17:35,854 --> 00:17:38,288
You said I have no feet.
371
00:17:39,924 --> 00:17:42,793
If you loved me,
you would have paddled.
372
00:17:45,096 --> 00:17:46,596
[door slams]
373
00:17:46,597 --> 00:17:47,931
Ah.
374
00:17:47,932 --> 00:17:49,366
[knock on door]
375
00:17:49,367 --> 00:17:50,868
Who is it?
376
00:17:50,869 --> 00:17:53,904
Steven
bartholomew rhoades.
377
00:17:56,207 --> 00:17:57,274
Bartholomew?
378
00:18:00,211 --> 00:18:04,581
Al, I'm horny. What are you
going to do about it?
379
00:18:08,386 --> 00:18:09,720
Get in there.
380
00:18:09,721 --> 00:18:11,722
Don't go yelling
things like that.
381
00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:13,724
I've got kids up there
382
00:18:13,725 --> 00:18:15,059
Or out there...
383
00:18:15,060 --> 00:18:16,593
Somewhere.
I don't know.
384
00:18:17,896 --> 00:18:20,097
Did she tell you, steve?
385
00:18:20,098 --> 00:18:21,264
Yes, peggy.
386
00:18:23,902 --> 00:18:25,402
He's an animal.
387
00:18:25,403 --> 00:18:28,772
I don't know what happened,
I go out of town for one day,
388
00:18:28,773 --> 00:18:30,908
I come back,
my wife's throwing up
389
00:18:30,909 --> 00:18:33,744
And dreaming she's sleeping
with your husband.
390
00:18:33,745 --> 00:18:37,447
I guess that's why they
call it the blues.
391
00:18:37,448 --> 00:18:39,416
I'm getting
out of here.
392
00:18:39,417 --> 00:18:41,418
You two can go on
blaming me
393
00:18:41,419 --> 00:18:44,421
For the dreams
of an insane woman.
394
00:18:44,422 --> 00:18:46,256
I'm going to a hotel.
395
00:18:46,257 --> 00:18:48,258
Better make it the y.
396
00:18:48,259 --> 00:18:50,994
I don't want
any women to see me.
397
00:18:54,032 --> 00:18:56,734
Well, look who's here.
The dream weaver.
398
00:18:58,369 --> 00:19:01,371
Why can't you have
normal dreams like me?
399
00:19:01,372 --> 00:19:03,874
You know, where
you're maharajah bundy
400
00:19:03,875 --> 00:19:07,444
And women with four breasts
feed you ding dongs?
401
00:19:10,048 --> 00:19:11,749
Is steve in there?
402
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:14,551
No. There are no
other men in my dream.
403
00:19:14,552 --> 00:19:17,554
Just phil donahue, and we feed
him to the lizard people.
404
00:19:17,555 --> 00:19:20,924
No, I meant is steve
in your house?
405
00:19:20,925 --> 00:19:22,226
Oh, yeah.
406
00:19:22,227 --> 00:19:24,394
He and peg
want me dead.
407
00:19:24,395 --> 00:19:25,763
You just want me.
408
00:19:27,732 --> 00:19:29,066
Sit down, al.
409
00:19:32,103 --> 00:19:34,704
You're not going to be looking
at my butt or anything, right?
410
00:19:34,705 --> 00:19:36,907
I think
I can guarantee that.
411
00:19:36,908 --> 00:19:38,441
Sit down, al.
412
00:19:38,442 --> 00:19:39,442
All right.
413
00:19:42,914 --> 00:19:44,414
What is it?
414
00:19:44,415 --> 00:19:48,585
I know now why I was
having those dreams.
415
00:19:48,586 --> 00:19:52,022
Remember the driveway repavers
you said were gonna rip me off?
416
00:19:52,023 --> 00:19:55,025
They were, al,
but I never told you.
417
00:19:55,026 --> 00:19:58,862
And the guilt I had manifested
itself in my dreams.
418
00:19:58,863 --> 00:20:00,363
I thought that--
419
00:20:00,364 --> 00:20:01,865
That I desired you?
420
00:20:01,866 --> 00:20:02,933
No, al.
421
00:20:02,934 --> 00:20:06,003
I was being punished,
422
00:20:06,004 --> 00:20:10,373
Much as sex with you
must actually be like.
423
00:20:10,374 --> 00:20:14,211
So now, in order to rid
myself of the guilt
424
00:20:14,212 --> 00:20:16,213
And those horrible,
horrible dreams,
425
00:20:16,214 --> 00:20:19,116
I've come to say
you were right.
426
00:20:19,117 --> 00:20:20,884
You hear that, al?
427
00:20:20,885 --> 00:20:23,220
You were right,
and I was wrong.
428
00:20:23,221 --> 00:20:26,056
You're the man,
and I'm the woman.
429
00:20:26,057 --> 00:20:28,892
And in this case,
the man was right.
430
00:20:28,893 --> 00:20:31,728
The man knew better
than the woman.
431
00:20:31,729 --> 00:20:33,763
The woman should have
listened to the man.
432
00:20:33,764 --> 00:20:35,565
Satisfied, al? Is that
what you want to hear?
433
00:20:35,566 --> 00:20:37,567
Wait a second,
hold on a second.
434
00:20:37,568 --> 00:20:39,436
You didn't desire me?
435
00:20:41,405 --> 00:20:44,774
You didn't
even have feet.
436
00:20:46,744 --> 00:20:49,679
Marcie, I thought
I heard you out here.
437
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:51,014
What's going on?
438
00:20:51,015 --> 00:20:53,951
Nothing. Just purging
myself, that's all.
439
00:20:53,952 --> 00:20:56,519
Oh, honey, not again.
440
00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:57,855
Not that.
441
00:20:57,856 --> 00:20:59,522
Everything's fine now.
442
00:20:59,523 --> 00:21:01,358
Let's go home.
443
00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:03,526
You mean home as in...
444
00:21:03,527 --> 00:21:06,063
Last one up has
to read the ceiling.
445
00:21:08,366 --> 00:21:10,667
I'm going
to have sex, al.
446
00:21:16,875 --> 00:21:18,375
What's everybody
talking about?
447
00:21:18,376 --> 00:21:19,743
I got feet.
448
00:21:24,215 --> 00:21:26,549
Al, steve and I
were talking
449
00:21:26,550 --> 00:21:29,186
About you being in
marcie's dream, and...
450
00:21:29,187 --> 00:21:32,890
I was right about it
being stupid to blame me.
451
00:21:32,891 --> 00:21:36,026
You're not gonna lord this
over me, are you?
452
00:21:36,027 --> 00:21:38,161
Sure, I am, peg.
453
00:21:38,162 --> 00:21:39,997
Well, I'm going up
to bed now.
454
00:21:39,998 --> 00:21:40,931
Good.
455
00:21:44,235 --> 00:21:46,036
Why don't you come
on up and show me
456
00:21:46,037 --> 00:21:48,671
What dreams
are really made of?
457
00:21:48,672 --> 00:21:51,541
I'll be up in
a little bit, peg.
458
00:22:01,352 --> 00:22:03,620
Well, at least
it's all over.
459
00:22:06,524 --> 00:22:07,857
Peg:
Al!
460
00:22:07,858 --> 00:22:09,526
Al, you coming up?
461
00:22:09,527 --> 00:22:12,896
I said I'd be
up in a second, peg.
462
00:22:25,376 --> 00:22:28,078
I said
I'd be right up.
463
00:22:29,380 --> 00:22:31,548
Well, don't
wait too long...
464
00:22:31,549 --> 00:22:33,083
Tiger.
465
00:22:33,084 --> 00:22:36,586
Al:
Aah!
466
00:22:48,266 --> 00:22:50,900
[♪]
32684
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