Original subtitles

MITCHELL: I do solemnly swear

that everything that I am about to tell you is true.

A spill of weirdness from another dimension

turned my hometown into the center of weirdness

for the entire universe.

Don't believe me? Just watch.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[DEVICE BEEPING] MITCHELL: Okay, I'll admit it.

Every now and then even a weird hunter

needs to spend a bit of quality time with his folks.

Lately it seemed like they were always too busy.

But today was my day.

They both said it, and a promise is a promise.

EDWARD: Mitchell, breakfast is on. Time's a-wasting, Son.

MITCHELL: Of course, in Eerie, promises have as much chance

of jumping the tracks as anything else.

Morning.

Morning!

Morning. Morning.

It's Saturday. All day.

We didn't forget about this afternoon, did we?

Of course not. [CHUCKLES]

I have to get my work finished here

and I'll have the whole afternoon off.

Then it's down to Slater Memorial Park

for a little of that old Edward Taylor pitching magic.

Dad, you're no Penn and Teller.

Well, I've been busy. A little out of practice.

Don't worry. I didn't forget our date either.

Two o'clock we meet to debug your Teenage Cannibal Mutants game.

I've set aside three full hours...

And I even wrote some undocumented cheat codes.

Oh, and just so you don't feel like I'm ignoring you,

I've saved one full hour for insults.

Shall we say indignities at 6:00?

MITCHELL: I thought all that stopping to smell the roses stuff

was just made up by some kind of nature lover.

At that point how was I supposed to know the truth?

How was I supposed to know that worrying about wasting time

might lead to the end of the world as we know it.

[CLOCK TICKING] [SIGHS] Ah, yes!

[CHUCKLES]

Mr. Fugit...

I think it's time we opened for business.

MITCHELL: My friend Stanley and me have a Saturday morning ritual.

We start our day down at the World O'Stuff

to pick up the latest issue of Captain Decay comics.

Some people don't see the attraction

in a superhero whose only power is the ability to make himself rot.

For Stanley and me however,

the Cap' is Eerie's version of fine literature.

So...

Another foray into the action- packed world of Captain Decay, eh?

[CHUCKLES] Ruler of Rot!

Prince of Putrescence!

Deacon of Decomposition.

You know about Captain Decay?

Know about him? [SCOFFS] Oh!

I was a fan boy before he was a little grease spot.

How come you gave up?

Time.

Haven't had time to read a comic in years.

Ah! And that, my friend, is why I am here.

[CHUCKLES] Armen Tempest.

Pleased to make your acquaintance.

My associate, the brilliant Dennis Fugit.

[BUBBLING]

Charmed.

Eh... What is that?

I thought you'd never ask.

That my friend, is the Cafe Zappe.

The fruit of ten years of Mr. Fugit's hard work.

Ten long years.

A java squirting beauty

that will revolutionize your business.

It's a coffee maker.

"A coffee maker," he says!

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

"A coffee maker"!

Uh, yes. But...

Not just any old coffee maker, sir, no.

You see, time was when you guzzled back a cup of Joe,

the only options you had were cream and sugar.

But today, everyone is looking for a latte this, latte that.

Cappuccinos.

Turkish, Irish Spanish coffees.

Robust, Roman, Rio...

I mean, it makes your head spin. [LAUGHS]

The only problem is...

Who's got the time to make all these fancy schmancy drinks?

Not me. Of course not you.

No! Ready.

Behold! 127 different varieties

at just the push of a button.

The finest beans from the highest mountains

to deep in the jungle.

Deep in the jungle.

No fuss, no muss.

And most importantly, no waste of time.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Go ahead, try it.

All right. [CLEARS THROAT]

Totally automatic.

Ooh!

Hey you, have a cup of coffee.

On the house. Oh.

Thanks.

Ah! Maybe I'll have...

Viennese Dark Royal With A Twist.

[GRUNTS]

[SPEAKS QUICKLY] Sorry, I got to go. I'm late for work.

Wow! That's some device you got there, Tempest.

Yes, indeed.

That guy was just hanging around, wasting my time and then...

Poof! Gone.

Come to think of it, there's a lot of people

coming here and just hanging around.

You know, doing that thing where they look at stuff

and then take up my time at the cash register.

You mean shopping? Yeah.

Tempest, you have yourself a deal. All right, sir.

MITCHELL: Nobody ever accused Mr. Crawford of being a business genius,

or any kind of genius for that matter.

But I had the feeling that Tempest was interested in something more than coffee.

How could we know he was also looking to serve up a double dose of Cafe Weird,

Eerie style.

MRS. TAYLOR: Mitchell, we're home.

[BIRDS TWITTERING]

[CLOCK TICKING]

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Uh... Hi!

Hi, honey. Hi, Mitchell.

Hi.

Mom, Dad? Are you okay?

Sure. Just kind of busy, I guess.

We went down to World O'Stuff

and checked out Mr. Crawford's new coffee machine.

Makes hot chocolate, too. Push the button and whoosh, down it comes

so fast I found time to have two more cups.

So, Dad, you ready to go throw the old ball around?

Oh, I'm sorry, Son. I just got so much work to do.

What happened to all the time you put aside?

Don't know what happened to it.

Mom, you still up for Cannibal Mutants?

Sorry, hon. Just don't have the time.

Work, work, work. But you promised!

I'm sure I'd be able to, but I just don't know where the time went.

I'll make it up to you, honey. I'm sure we'll have a little time later.

I suppose you're too busy as well.

Let me put it this way.

I've already turned down three dates today.

This is not a good sign. Come on, insult me.

Do your worst. I dare you.

Okay. You're a...

Sorry. Time's up. Gotta get back to work.

MITCHELL: At that moment, somebody more paranoid

might have thought that their parents didn't want to spend time with them.

Me? To tell you the truth, I was getting pretty paranoid.

Things called for a high level conference with me, Stanley,

and a couple of black cows down at the World O'Stuff.

[CLOCK TICKING]

[CLAMORING]

A room full of rat racers.

The room is so fast I'm seeing double.

Mr. Crawford?

[ALL SPEAKING VERY FAST]

Now, now's the time. It's too late. Gotta go.

Excuse me, please. I'm in a hurry.

Ah! Young Mitchell Taylor. [CHUCKLES]

So, what do you think of the tan?

I think I'm moving towards the mocha range.

Since when do you suntan? Well, that's the deal.

Tempest guaranteed me lots of time, you know,

for all the different kinds of activities I want to do.

Like, oh, painting, jigsaw puzzles, stamp collecting.

I may even try my hand at fly fishing.

Ten o'clock, two o'clock. Ten o'clock.

Doesn't it worry you that everyone who drinks coffee from that coffee machine

seems to be moving somewhere near the speed of light?

Huh. Now that you mention it, no.

This is the most peace and quiet I've had in ages.

Now if you'll kindly step out of the light, gentlemen.

I have some rays to catch.

MITCHELL: The Cafe Zappe was supposed to save people time.

But as far as I could see, nobody who used it had any time left at all.

The whole world was moving at a skate velocity

and Stanley and me were just trying to stay out of the way.

[BOTH PANTING]

I thought we'd never make it.

The way Mrs. Enroy was coming at us with that shopping cart,

I thought we were goners.

What I wanna know is how does a dumb coffee machine

speed up the whole entire town?

Hello there, friends.

How many times have you said to yourself,

"Gee, I wish I could take a vacation,

but where am I gonna find those two extra weeks?" [LAUGHS]

Well, that's why so many happy customers

come to Chronos Limited.

[CHUCKLES]

Whether you're looking for a month, a week, a weekend,

or just a few hours,

get yourself down to our showroom

and treat yourself to that time.

You'll thank me, believe me. [LAUGHS]

And if you act quickly,

we'll not only throw in an extra hour of daylight savings,

but also to win a free five minute coffee break.

STANLEY: Coffee guy.

How come he's got all this time to sell and nobody has any?

MRS. TAYLOR: Mitchell, Stanley. Dinner.

Maybe we'll think better on a full stomach. Mm.

MITCHELL: My parents had been back to Crawford's store for more coffee.

They were now firmly positioned

in the ranks of the fourth dimensionally challenged.

Not hungry, boys?

Well, who's up for dessert?

Sorry, guys. No time for doddling.

Oh, I'm already behind my work.

I'm just gonna get myself a coffee and get down to it.

Let's stop for a coffee and save ourselves more time.

You know what will save more time? Take our work there.

Mom, Dad, you have to stop drinking that coffee.

You don't know what Tempest is doing to you.

Love to stay and listen. But we don't have the time.

Catch you later. Bye, honey.

MITCHELL: Things were becoming blindingly clear.

If I was ever going to spend quality time with my family again,

me and Stanley would have to deal with whatever was going down at the World O'Stuff.

And the worst part? We were running out of time.

MITCHELL: Imagine if you will,

a world where your essay was due the moment it was assigned.

Excuse me!

Imagine a world where everyone was late

even before they thought about going somewhere.

Imagine a world where no one had even one free second.

Imagine the World O'Stuff.

Look at them fly.

Old man Rankin's gonna be doing some pretty big business

after this down at the show store.

No one's gonna have time to do any business

unless we can figure out what Tempest is up to.

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

Mitch!

Look at that.

Let me check. I'll call you back.

I think it's about 35,000, buddy.

STANLEY: You see? Yep.

He's out of time.

[TEMPEST SCATTING]

MITCHELL: Our only hope at finding out what Tempest was up to

lay in following him back to his base of operations.

It was a dangerous operation.

But Stanley and me,

our middle names are "danger".

The game's a foot, Dr. Stanley.

Here we are, buddy.

Tempest Central.

What's in that thing anyway?

You know what I think?

I think the reason nobody has any free time

is because Tempest is stealing it

and then selling it back to people.

We gotta get in there and get everyone's time back.

I don't think they're gonna just welcome us in with open arms.

Not unless we have something they need.

Mitchell, we don't have any time for games.

No, but we have to make them think we do.

Ah! A wise purchase, madam.

Now that time is money well spent.

[KISSES] Enjoy.

[SIGHS] [CHUCKLES]

TEMPEST: Well, well, well, well, well, well, well.

Hello there, boys.

[LAUGHS] How can I help you?

Well, that depends on what you're selling.

Time, boys. [CHUCKLES] Time!

You know, boys, I could set you up with enough time

to take a whole day off

just to fool around. [CHUCKLES]

And not miss a thing at school.

I expect that wouldn't do much.

We don't go to school.

You don't go to school?

What do you do, then?

Not much of anything, I guess.

Oh.

Yep. No school, no jobs.

I guess you could say we're just killing time.

"Killing time"?

You have a lot of time to kill?

Heck yes!

We got nothing but time.

Ah!

Yep. I think we got all the time in the world.

[PHONE RINGING] Really?

Excuse me.

Chronos. Yes, madam. Yes.

Oh, absolutely.

Uh... Hold on for a second.

Sounds like a really big order. We'll have to take it in the back.

Uh, boys, you're gonna have to excuse us for a few minutes.

In the meantime, why don't you make yourselves at home?

[CHUCKLES]

[BUBBLING]

This machine here makes a great cup of hot chocolate.

Why don't you help yourselves to some?

As much as you want.

It's on the house.

[CHUCKLES]

Let's go.

$10 an hour?

Lady, are you out if your mind?

No, no, no, no, no, no!

My time is valuable!

Look, sister, if you're not gonna make a serious offer,

I won't even give you the time of day!

That's better. Now you're talking.

Yes. [LAUGHS]

Yes.

Yes.

At the end of the week, we'll have robbed this town blind.

[BOTH SNICKERING]

[STEAM HISSING]

I'm glad we're seeing eye to eye.

Two days. Yes.

And when would you like delivery of those two days?

Two days in two days?

Two days in two days.

Holy apparatus!

What are we supposed to do now?

MITCHELL: We gotta figure out how to throw this thing in reverse.

Well, it can't be much harder than Cannibal Mutants.

Okay.

Would you like those days gift wrapped, madam,

or would you like to spend them yourself?

I'm not trying to be nosy, madam.

However you spend your time is entirely your affair. [CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

I wonder what that one does.

Well, there's only one way to find out.

[ALARM BLARING]

Huh?

I'll call you right back.

[ALARM CONTINUES]

How do you shut it off?

I think I got it.

[CLICK] [ALARM SHUTS OFF]

You've got it, all right!

Stay away from that machine, boys!

It could turn into a time bomb!

You can't just steal people's time.

Who are you kidding? Yes, I can.

I mean, people take time all the time.

They steal it, they waste it.

Why, they even kill it. You said so yourself.

Time is of the essence here.

Now look, everybody says time is money.

What they forget is the other part of the equation.

If you have the money, you can buy the time.

Time to do whatever you want.

Now, please get away from that lever!

Anyway, it was free time.

All those people would have just wasted it. Yes.

Yeah, but you told them that you were saving time.

Well, yes. But I didn't say for whom.

Maybe someone forgot to read the fine print on the bottom of the cups.

[LAUGHS]

Now get away from that lever! Stay right there, Stanley.

These guys are just in it for the money.

[GASPS] We are not!

I provide a service!

Now look, when the government gives a criminal ten years,

where do you think they get that time from, boys?

You think it grows on trees?

No! I sell it to them!

Before they came to us, rush hour was only 45 minutes!

Yeah, but if they knew what you did, they wouldn't buy time from you at all.

Wrong-a-mando, short stuff.

Because what we're all about is quality.

Anybody can show you a bad time.

But us, we'll sell you a good time!

In fact, we'll guarantee you the time of your life.

And then what happens to my family and all the other people

when you've taken all their time?

Well, I think that's kind of obvious.

Poof! They'll meet their maker.

Just like the guy at World O' Stuff.

Smart boy.

You'll never get away with this.

Oh, really?

And who are you going to tell?

And what makes you think they have the time to listen?

He's got a point.

Time's up! Get them!

Now, Stanley!

TEMPEST: Get them!

Oh, no!

We're taking too much time!

MITCHELL: With Tempest and Fugit stuck in over time,

out next job was to get those stolen hours back to their rightful owners,

but fast.

[RUSHED CLAMOR]

You better hurry, Mitchell.

Right. Just need to...

This in here. A couple of more adjustments

and we should be able to reverse it and get everyone's time back.

You know, it's funny.

I had all that free time and I didn't really enjoy myself at all.

Retail just isn't the same without the customers to deal with.

Who knew.

Any-who. I'll be happy to get rid of this thing.

That does it.

Let her rip, Stanley.

[CHATTER PETERS DOWN TO NORMAL PACE]

Excuse me. Can I pay for this, please?

Oh! Music to my ears.

We did it, Mitch.

We saved Eerie from going poof.

And we did it just in time.

MITCHELL: As for my family...

Well, they got all their time back.

Maybe I should get to work.

Oh. I've got lots of time.

Maybe I'll take a nap.

MITCHELL: Truth be told, I think they got a bit extra, too.

Mitch. How about you and me head out to the park and toss around that baseball, huh?

I'll just get my glove.

MITCHELL: How about that? I'm not complaining.

You might ask me what I learned from dealing with Mr. Tempest.

I guess just stuff I should have already known.

That there are always people ready to take up your time if you let them.

In a lot of places, that can be a real inconvenience.

In Eerie, it can be fatal.

Could you spare a minute, ladies?

Mm-mm. No.

Excuse me. Could you spare a minute?

[CHUCKLES]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0