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MITCHELL: Like many leaders of the free world,
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I've learned that battling forces
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of evil can wreak havoc with your budget.
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Unlike countries that can float loans
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or issue bonds to cover their debts,
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I have to depend on my allowance.
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After asking my dad for one advance too many,
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he enrolled me in Eerie's
Junior Executive's Club,
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for an education in economic realities.
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So far, I've learned how to dress like a dork.
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MR. STEPFORD: Image is everything.
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Before leaving the house, the young,
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junior executive,
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carefully checks, double checks,
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his image.
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Mr. Stepford, now that we're in...
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Remember, you are all petals,
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of the future...
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flower, that is business.
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RODNEY: Yeah, right.
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Mr. Covington.
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I take it that you
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do not see yourself,
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as the flowering of the entrepreneurial,
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spirit, am I correct? No.
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I just don't think the world needs more people
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with wrinkly shiny shoes.
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Mr. Stepford...
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What are you doing here, Rodney?
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My parents...
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won't let me ride my motorbike unless I come.
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Your parents would like you
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to have some kind of a goal.
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I already have a goal in life.
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To ride your motorcycle around the world,
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not exactly a sterling ambition.
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Mr. Stepford, I have this product...
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Memo me, Mr. Hope. Memo me.
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Meeting at the Eerie junior executive's club,
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is terminated for today.
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Except for you, Mr. Covington.
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You and I are going to have a little chat.
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You and I are going to talk,
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about your bright,
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and shining, future.
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MITCHELL: I didn't know it then.
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but Rodney's immediate future wasn't as bright
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as Mr. Stepford had promised.
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MITCHELL: I do solemnly swear
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that everything I am about to tell you is true.
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A spill of weirdness from another dimension
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turned my hometown into the center of weirdness
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for the entire universe.
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Don't believe me? Just watch.
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[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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All I am saying is I think
Stepford is a real whackadoo.
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Mitchell, it's easy for a junior executive
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to get his corporate leaders
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big picture thinking messed
up with whackadoo-ness.
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Where did you get that from?
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The JE business primer.
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It was under unquestioning loyalty.
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See, that's what I mean,
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JE is all about stuff like...
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whose name goes first on the memo.
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I really admire Rodney
for standing up to him though.
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He won't have to go to anymore meetings.
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You are both missing the point, compadre.
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Success belongs to the long term player.
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Maybe that's why Mr. Stepford
is taking such a long time
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on my marketing scheme. "Marketing scheme"?
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I'm launching a whole new line of fridge magnets.
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Which unlike your ordinary fridge magnets,
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are shaped like...
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magnets.
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Got a whole box of them
down at the community hall.
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Stanley, there can't really be a lot of money...
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in magnets.
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You talking about money, Hope?
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Because it... it appears
we didn't collect any lunch money
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from you today. Ah, Newt...
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I don't have any lunch money.
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Everybody's got lunch money.
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Newt, lunch was four hours ago.
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Stanley spent his lunch money.
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He has? Yeah.
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If you want to steal a kid's lunch money,
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you have to do it when he is going to school.
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Not from it. Didn't anybody tell you that?
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That's lesson 12.
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Steal a kid's lunch money
when he is going to school.
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Not from it.
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How about taking it outside, huh, Newt?
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Your sanctioned street gang
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with the, store bully font like
you're horning it on their turf.
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Next time... catch me earlier.
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Hey, pick on somebody your own size.
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Wha! [SCREAMS]
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You're...
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You're about my size, Taylor.
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I meant by weight.
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You got a scale?
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Come on! Ee!
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You...
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could exemplify everything
that this club stands for.
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Selfless dedication.
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Punctuality.
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Neatness.
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Why, is this all that you care about?
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It's what you should be caring about.
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Well, I am not interested.
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And if I had upset you, I am sorry.
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If that upsets my parents, I am sorry.
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But I got to be me.
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Rodney.
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This conversation is not over.
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Good morning, Mom. Good morning, Dad.
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Carrie, weren't you a little
late getting in last night?
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Sorry, Tommy had car trouble.
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"Car trouble"?
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Yeah, when he dropped me off he noticed this
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hook hanging from the door handle.
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Hmm.
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Make sure he has it checked
before you go out again.
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Okay.
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MITCHELL: Good morning, everybody.
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ALL: Good morning, Mitchell.
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Isn't that the same shirt you wore yesterday?
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Still clean.
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That's not the point.
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You wear fresh clothes everyday.
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It's a sign of self esteem.
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I thought it was a sign you liked to do laundry.
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Did you get all your homework done?
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Most of it. Oh, Dad, I need
my allowance early this week.
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What have we decided about these...
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allowance advances.
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I know, but I need to buy
a Philadelphia experiment kit.
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I thought you already had one.
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Well, I did, but it disappeared.
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Are you learning anything at JE?
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Will you give me my allowance if I wear a tie?
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Well, that would be a start.
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I was hoping maybe you had a plan
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for generating some capital of your own.
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I've got these treasure maps
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that belong to a headless pirate.
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[DOORBELL RINGS] I'll get it.
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Probably Stanley. See if he wants breakfast.
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Hello, Mitchell.
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I am collecting for my charity of the day,
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Victims of Hostile Takeovers.
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Care to contribute?
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Mom, Dad, Carrie.
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This is Rodney Covington.
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He is in JE with me.
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Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Taylor.
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My, my, what a lovely home you have.
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Carrie.
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No offense to your brother,
but you have been blessed
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with the looks in the family.
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Mr. and Mrs. Taylor, I
am not sure whether Mitchell
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informed you, but the
club collects for the charity.
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We do?
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Mitchell, why don't you go change your shirt?
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You do want to be like the other kids.
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Rodney, do you manage to
do your homework every night?
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Of course, sir.
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A junior Executive always
completes the task required,
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within the time frame required.
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My sentiments exactly. Hmm.
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Now I am sure that...
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Mitchell would mind contributing his allowance.
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Rodney, is this some kind of joke?
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Being late for school, Mitchell, is no joke.
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It's like being late,
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for your own future.
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Ta-da. [THUNDER RUMBLING]
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MRS. TAYLOR: Oh, it's going to rain.
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It's been very nice to meet all of you.
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Farewell.
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Mitchell.
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He's different.
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We ran into Miss. Lovelace, the French teacher.
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He had a whole conversation with her,
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in French. Hmm.
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Maybe he is practicing for his world tour.
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Hmm.
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One day he is a classic troubled teenager,
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the next, he is explaining
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how an index pension will keep
me out of trouble in my twilight years.
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Forget your twilight years,
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you're in trouble now.
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[SNAPS FINGERS]
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Come on, Newt, this is stupid.
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Yeah? We're still gonna do it.
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Get on the scale.
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Gentlemen, gentlemen, please.
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I am sure we can reasonably arbitrate
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a win-win solution here.
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What he means... I know what he means.
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He means I am a lame brain,
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and he is a smarty pants.
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Hmm, close enough.
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[GRUNTS]
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[SCREAMS] Food fight!
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[AMUSING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]
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[BELL DINGS]
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[BELL DINGS]
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[BELL DINGS]
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This is place of business!
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[GRUNTS]
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[BELL DINGS]
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Mr. Hope.
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00:09:27,353 --> 00:09:30,223
It is time that we discussed your bright,
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and shining future.
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00:09:32,979 --> 00:09:35,014
Stanley still isn't picking up.
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Something must've gone wrong.
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00:09:36,831 --> 00:09:39,734
Maybe he decided to go
into the airmail food business.
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00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:42,083
Gotta go check it out.
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00:09:42,122 --> 00:09:44,424
Mitchell. Honest to goodness.
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00:09:44,467 --> 00:09:46,267
He'd think it was the end of the world.
223
00:09:47,012 --> 00:09:49,047
[SIGHS] Just might be.
224
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[DOORBELL RINGING]
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Hello, Mitchell.
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Mr. and Mrs. Taylor, Carrie.
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00:09:59,236 --> 00:10:01,203
I am collecting for the broker's restricted
228
00:10:01,212 --> 00:10:02,880
from insider trading.
229
00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,260
It's the junior executive's charity of the day.
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00:10:07,270 --> 00:10:12,311
MITCHELL: People describe
business in brutal terms.
231
00:10:12,331 --> 00:10:15,067
Dog eat dog, killing the competition.
232
00:10:15,078 --> 00:10:17,078
But I was sure Stanley had become the victim
233
00:10:17,086 --> 00:10:19,255
of a real life hostile takeover.
234
00:10:19,297 --> 00:10:21,900
Mr. Crawford, how much
do you know about Mr. Stepford?
235
00:10:21,942 --> 00:10:23,544
Oh, let's see...
236
00:10:23,583 --> 00:10:25,151
He runs an investment firm.
237
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:27,392
Likes to share his knowledge with the youngsters.
238
00:10:27,402 --> 00:10:29,403
Does he really know anything about business?
239
00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:32,413
Oh, many successful people
have gone through that club of his.
240
00:10:32,425 --> 00:10:34,393
There's Mayor Carver,
241
00:10:34,435 --> 00:10:35,936
former vice president,
242
00:10:35,942 --> 00:10:38,109
and that guy from Seattle with the computers.
243
00:10:38,118 --> 00:10:40,020
Well, how long has he been running JE?
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00:10:40,060 --> 00:10:41,440
Oh, since I was a kid at least.
245
00:10:41,468 --> 00:10:43,970
How can that be, he doesn't look a day over 40.
246
00:10:43,980 --> 00:10:46,347
Well, you know what they say, working with kids
247
00:10:46,357 --> 00:10:47,992
keeps you young. Hmm.
248
00:10:49,487 --> 00:10:52,473
Stanley, what's this all about?
249
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,486
Mr. Stepford says we need to collect funds,
250
00:10:54,495 --> 00:10:56,730
for those fallen in the
endless corporate struggle.
251
00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:59,240
Any of you guys want to
tell me what's with the hair?
252
00:10:59,250 --> 00:11:01,518
A junior executive should
always reflect the image
253
00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:02,763
of his Chief executive.
254
00:11:04,141 --> 00:11:05,676
And never be late for a meeting.
255
00:11:05,714 --> 00:11:06,764
Excuse us.
256
00:11:06,769 --> 00:11:08,653
Stanley.
257
00:11:08,661 --> 00:11:10,696
I thought you might need some cheering up,
258
00:11:10,705 --> 00:11:11,806
I got you a present.
259
00:11:11,843 --> 00:11:13,478
Here. [BUZZING]
260
00:11:15,226 --> 00:11:16,276
MR. STEPFORD: Boys.
261
00:11:18,810 --> 00:11:21,813
The junior executive meeting is about to begin.
262
00:11:21,857 --> 00:11:23,358
Will you be coming, Mr. Taylor?
263
00:11:24,503 --> 00:11:25,671
Ah, yeah.
264
00:11:25,708 --> 00:11:26,758
Good.
265
00:11:33,009 --> 00:11:34,210
MR. STEPFORD: Profits.
266
00:11:35,254 --> 00:11:36,755
Profits.
267
00:11:36,793 --> 00:11:38,729
And how do we create these profits?
268
00:11:38,770 --> 00:11:41,006
We create these profits...
269
00:11:41,047 --> 00:11:43,950
by bringing more people into the...
270
00:11:44,898 --> 00:11:46,400
pyramid. Any questions?
271
00:11:49,821 --> 00:11:50,871
Can I help you?
272
00:11:53,070 --> 00:11:55,305
Mr. Stepford, sir.
273
00:11:55,348 --> 00:11:56,968
Allow me to introduce my parents.
274
00:12:01,141 --> 00:12:03,721
Is there something wrong? MR.
COVINGTON: Oh, no, sir.
275
00:12:03,732 --> 00:12:04,820
Exactly the opposite.
276
00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:06,394
We just like to thank you
277
00:12:06,401 --> 00:12:08,768
for the positive influence you've had on our son.
278
00:12:08,778 --> 00:12:10,545
MR. COVINGTON: Rodney's always been...
279
00:12:10,552 --> 00:12:11,602
a difficult child.
280
00:12:11,624 --> 00:12:13,392
But lately, he's been well.
281
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,568
Perfect. We just wanted to thank the man
282
00:12:15,609 --> 00:12:17,812
who made our son what he is today.
283
00:12:17,853 --> 00:12:19,655
Well, thank you.
284
00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:21,597
Nothing gives me greater pleasure,
285
00:12:21,637 --> 00:12:23,473
than transforming our youth,
286
00:12:23,513 --> 00:12:25,081
into useful members,
287
00:12:25,121 --> 00:12:26,689
of our society. Thank you.
288
00:12:26,696 --> 00:12:32,500
MRS. COVINGTON: Come home right
after your club meeting, dear.
289
00:12:32,522 --> 00:12:34,257
I made your favorite, meat loaf.
290
00:12:34,297 --> 00:12:35,698
RODNEY: Of course, mother.
291
00:12:35,737 --> 00:12:37,297
MR. COVINGTON: See you then, son.
292
00:12:38,852 --> 00:12:39,920
Well...
293
00:12:41,029 --> 00:12:44,199
Profits are our motive.
294
00:12:45,248 --> 00:12:46,649
Our motive is profits.
295
00:12:46,689 --> 00:12:48,369
Yes, any questions, yes, Rodney?
296
00:12:49,133 --> 00:12:50,183
[BLEATS]
297
00:12:51,645 --> 00:12:52,813
All right, that's it.
298
00:12:52,851 --> 00:12:54,253
Meeting is over.
299
00:12:54,291 --> 00:12:55,893
Go on, go, scoot.
300
00:12:56,869 --> 00:12:58,271
Come on, scram.
301
00:12:58,310 --> 00:13:00,045
Meeting's over. Goodbye.
302
00:13:31,265 --> 00:13:34,234
Now there is no reason
you should be acting this way.
303
00:13:39,905 --> 00:13:41,006
Mm-hmm.
304
00:13:50,588 --> 00:13:52,457
Now, I warned you about these.
305
00:13:52,497 --> 00:13:55,400
These disrupt your magnetic flow.
306
00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:00,197
Unbutton your shirt.
307
00:14:09,142 --> 00:14:11,278
Little juice. You'll be just fine.
308
00:14:11,319 --> 00:14:12,459
[ELECTRICAL BUZZING]
309
00:14:20,529 --> 00:14:21,964
[MUFFLED SCREAMS]
310
00:14:21,970 --> 00:14:26,339
Your replacements are functioning perfectly.
311
00:14:26,356 --> 00:14:29,659
So perfectly, that tonight,
I will get rid of the originals.
312
00:14:30,744 --> 00:14:32,746
[MUFFLED SCREAMS]
313
00:15:07,349 --> 00:15:10,352
Hang in there, Stanley. You too, Rodney.
I am going for help.
314
00:15:10,396 --> 00:15:12,698
[MUFFLED SCREAMS]
315
00:15:18,534 --> 00:15:19,669
Hello, Mitchell.
316
00:15:19,707 --> 00:15:20,775
Uh, hi.
317
00:15:21,381 --> 00:15:22,649
Stanley.
318
00:15:22,688 --> 00:15:25,724
You're not supposed to
be in here after the meeting.
319
00:15:25,768 --> 00:15:28,438
Oh, well, I was just... waiting for you.
320
00:15:28,481 --> 00:15:29,983
I was gonna walk you home.
321
00:15:30,022 --> 00:15:31,323
You are going home?
322
00:15:32,367 --> 00:15:34,335
Let me carry this for you.
323
00:15:34,343 --> 00:15:35,943
Don't remember bringing that here.
324
00:15:35,950 --> 00:15:38,352
No? It's got your name on it.
325
00:15:40,437 --> 00:15:42,072
Sorry about this.
326
00:15:42,112 --> 00:15:43,514
But I need some help.
327
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:45,586
Stepford had to know enough about real Stanley
328
00:15:45,595 --> 00:15:46,829
in need to pass for Stanley,
329
00:15:46,834 --> 00:15:48,969
and I just need to find it.
330
00:15:49,011 --> 00:15:51,780
[ELECTRICAL VOICE] Oh, dizzy, dizzy.
331
00:15:51,825 --> 00:15:54,094
Gimme your answer, dude.
332
00:15:54,135 --> 00:15:56,415
[IN A DIFFERENT VOICE] Dave, I am scared, Dave.
333
00:15:56,814 --> 00:15:57,982
Hell.
334
00:15:57,987 --> 00:16:02,990
[STANLEY'S VOICE] Hello,
Mitchel, what we do today?
335
00:16:03,010 --> 00:16:04,060
Today...
336
00:16:04,082 --> 00:16:05,650
Okay, that'll have to do.
337
00:16:06,627 --> 00:16:08,007
Today... Okay, I need some help.
338
00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:09,102
Let's go.
339
00:16:09,139 --> 00:16:11,208
"Help." What friends are for.
340
00:16:11,248 --> 00:16:12,516
"Help."
341
00:16:12,555 --> 00:16:14,690
Me help Eerie. All right, come on.
342
00:16:14,731 --> 00:16:16,233
We got to get through this door.
343
00:16:16,272 --> 00:16:18,192
You are made of metal. You know what to do.
344
00:16:21,195 --> 00:16:22,296
Door locked.
345
00:16:22,334 --> 00:16:23,969
I know it's locked.
346
00:16:24,009 --> 00:16:25,929
Break it down, kick it in, do something.
347
00:16:28,999 --> 00:16:30,049
Here's a key.
348
00:16:33,118 --> 00:16:34,286
[MUFFLED SCREAMS]
349
00:16:41,707 --> 00:16:44,226
Mitchell, you're the best.
350
00:16:44,236 --> 00:16:45,671
Okay, now get us out of here.
351
00:16:46,347 --> 00:16:47,397
Come on.
352
00:16:49,227 --> 00:16:51,196
Get that thing away from me.
353
00:16:51,204 --> 00:16:52,336
You've seen it before?
354
00:16:52,341 --> 00:16:53,743
"Seen it"? Huh.
355
00:16:53,782 --> 00:16:55,384
I had to watch Stepford make it.
356
00:16:55,391 --> 00:16:57,257
He dressed me up.
357
00:16:57,265 --> 00:16:59,425
Gave me this haircut and sent that thing out
358
00:16:59,442 --> 00:17:01,962
collecting money so he
can do this to somebody else.
359
00:17:01,987 --> 00:17:03,547
Guys, get me out of these things.
360
00:17:06,039 --> 00:17:07,479
Look out, look out, look out!
361
00:17:13,139 --> 00:17:15,541
You're the one tried to sabotage Rodney.
362
00:17:15,584 --> 00:17:16,818
That's not Rodney.
363
00:17:16,857 --> 00:17:18,458
It will be soon.
364
00:17:18,498 --> 00:17:21,258
And I have a feeling that
he is going to have some company.
365
00:17:24,024 --> 00:17:25,859
Oh, don't worry.
366
00:17:25,900 --> 00:17:27,434
Your parents won't miss you.
367
00:17:28,310 --> 00:17:30,012
They'll be too thrilled,
368
00:17:30,052 --> 00:17:31,620
by their perfectly new,
369
00:17:31,660 --> 00:17:33,428
perfectly obedient,
370
00:17:33,468 --> 00:17:34,937
perfectly diligent,
371
00:17:35,444 --> 00:17:36,679
perfectly perfect,
372
00:17:36,717 --> 00:17:38,352
child.
373
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:39,492
Nobody's perfect.
374
00:17:39,530 --> 00:17:40,580
I am.
375
00:17:43,682 --> 00:17:45,184
And you will be, as well.
376
00:17:46,496 --> 00:17:47,546
No!
377
00:17:48,538 --> 00:17:50,274
[SCREAMS]
378
00:17:50,314 --> 00:17:52,416
Pick on somebody your own size!
379
00:17:52,457 --> 00:17:55,994
Yeah! "Pick on somebody your own size."
380
00:17:56,041 --> 00:17:57,108
Let him go.
381
00:17:57,581 --> 00:17:58,683
[BUZZING]
382
00:18:00,495 --> 00:18:01,596
Stanley.
383
00:18:01,634 --> 00:18:02,684
No!
384
00:18:03,308 --> 00:18:04,358
[SCREAMS]
385
00:18:09,102 --> 00:18:10,169
Stanley!
386
00:18:33,484 --> 00:18:34,534
Stanley.
387
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:41,214
STANLEY: Ooh!
388
00:18:44,501 --> 00:18:46,270
Huh, that was way cool.
389
00:18:49,056 --> 00:18:51,025
He grabbed the one he built.
390
00:18:51,066 --> 00:18:52,768
I would've told you sooner.
391
00:18:52,807 --> 00:18:54,542
It's just, he'd have known too.
392
00:18:56,357 --> 00:18:57,825
[GRUNTS]
393
00:18:57,832 --> 00:18:59,765
Do you think you could save it for later,
394
00:18:59,773 --> 00:19:01,475
and maybe work on untying me!
395
00:19:02,620 --> 00:19:03,721
[SIGHS]
396
00:19:05,901 --> 00:19:08,437
Hey, Mitchell, what are we gonna do about him?
397
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:14,119
Oh.
398
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,668
Believe me, this guy is living proof,
399
00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:31,479
or at least a good fat simile
that Eerie really is weird.
400
00:19:31,490 --> 00:19:32,989
Now people will have to believe us.
401
00:19:32,996 --> 00:19:34,765
Oh, yeah, that's if you tell them.
402
00:19:34,772 --> 00:19:37,038
What, are you kidding? Why wouldn't we tell them?
403
00:19:37,048 --> 00:19:39,083
Because then you'd have to explain where I am.
404
00:19:39,091 --> 00:19:41,026
And that might take some explaining.
405
00:19:41,067 --> 00:19:42,536
Wait, where you going?
406
00:19:44,081 --> 00:19:47,185
Boys, come on, it's my
chance to see the world here.
407
00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:49,765
I finally get what I want, my parents finally...
408
00:19:49,808 --> 00:19:51,810
get what they want...
409
00:19:51,818 --> 00:19:53,918
and if I am lucky, I'll probably get back right
410
00:19:53,927 --> 00:19:55,828
when this thing's graduated from college,
411
00:19:55,836 --> 00:19:57,156
probably top of it's class.
412
00:19:58,013 --> 00:19:59,147
If you ask me,
413
00:19:59,186 --> 00:20:00,988
I got pretty bright and shiny future.
414
00:20:01,965 --> 00:20:03,100
See you later, boys.
415
00:20:05,281 --> 00:20:06,781
STANLEY: What are we gonna do?
416
00:20:07,893 --> 00:20:09,929
We'll never get away with this.
417
00:20:09,937 --> 00:20:11,970
Doesn't look like we've got much of a choice.
418
00:20:11,979 --> 00:20:13,247
[MOTORCYCLE REVVING]
419
00:20:13,253 --> 00:20:15,320
His parents were pleased with the new version.
420
00:20:15,328 --> 00:20:17,996
MITCHELL: I sometimes wonder
if we made the right choice,
421
00:20:18,007 --> 00:20:19,208
covering for Rodney,
422
00:20:19,214 --> 00:20:20,447
but he got to live his dreams,
423
00:20:20,452 --> 00:20:22,988
instead of becoming a real junior executive,
424
00:20:22,999 --> 00:20:24,965
And doing nothing more daring than writing
425
00:20:24,973 --> 00:20:26,274
an occasional bold memo.
426
00:20:26,313 --> 00:20:28,949
Hey, I am really gonna
miss Rodney's goofing around.
427
00:20:28,992 --> 00:20:31,061
He was pretty funny.
428
00:20:31,102 --> 00:20:33,138
I've still got a couple of magnets.
429
00:20:36,896 --> 00:20:38,164
[BUZZING]
430
00:20:42,388 --> 00:20:44,957
MITCHELL: The truth is, it's real easy to fit in,
431
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,503
but life's a lot more
fun if you just be who you are.
432
00:20:51,407 --> 00:20:53,509
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
433
00:20:53,559 --> 00:20:58,109
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