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1
00:00:01,293 --> 00:00:04,380
Field trip worksheets!
Hot off the press!
2
00:00:04,380 --> 00:00:06,215
What in the hot hell
is this?
3
00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:08,634
Today is thee day--
two E's--
4
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:10,594
that we go to
Smith Memorial Playground.
5
00:00:10,594 --> 00:00:12,012
We're not gonna be
the only school there,
6
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,848
but we did snag
the last reservations.
7
00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:16,684
And I made worksheets
so that it can be educational.
8
00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:19,937
This is gonna be,
like, the best field trip ever.
9
00:00:19,937 --> 00:00:22,565
Jacob,
nobody needs this.
10
00:00:22,565 --> 00:00:25,860
You pulled off a field trip
with no money and no help.
11
00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:27,361
Baby, relax.
12
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,280
Yeah, we're going to the park.
Kids don't wanna work.
13
00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:30,865
Mnh-mnh.
We don't wanna work.
14
00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:32,408
Ava definitely don't
wanna work.
15
00:00:32,408 --> 00:00:33,617
I never do.
16
00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:35,077
And today,
I get to not work
17
00:00:35,077 --> 00:00:37,121
while lounging
in my air chair.
18
00:00:37,121 --> 00:00:38,539
I love furniture
that rhymes.
19
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,082
Yeah, so knock it off
with the worksheets
20
00:00:40,082 --> 00:00:41,625
or you're gonna
ruin this trip.
21
00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:43,169
Ah! Morton.
22
00:00:43,169 --> 00:00:44,712
For all your flaws,
23
00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:47,506
I know you appreciate
the value of education.
24
00:00:47,506 --> 00:00:50,426
Thanks, buddy.
You're a lifesaver.
25
00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:14,366
{\an8}One for you.
26
00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:16,702
{\an8}Oh, here we go.
27
00:01:18,496 --> 00:01:19,497
{\an8}Thank you.
Mm-hmm.
28
00:01:19,497 --> 00:01:21,624
{\an8}I'll see you.
Okay.
29
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,085
{\an8}Gregory.
30
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,337
{\an8}I just witnessed
that interaction
31
00:01:26,337 --> 00:01:28,172
{\an8}between you and Janine.
32
00:01:28,172 --> 00:01:29,673
{\an8}Putting on
her coat for her
33
00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:31,425
{\an8}was practically
pornographic.
34
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:33,677
{\an8}What's going on, man?
Am I-- Did I miss something?
35
00:01:33,677 --> 00:01:35,805
{\an8}I'm gonna tell her
how I feel.
Yay!
36
00:01:35,805 --> 00:01:38,098
{\an8}When I find
the exact right time.
Boo!
37
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,934
{\an8}Look, I want it to go well
this time.
38
00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:41,435
{\an8}Wait.
Is there a chance
39
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:42,812
{\an8}you might do it
on the field trip?
40
00:01:42,812 --> 00:01:44,772
{\an8}When the time is right,
the time is right.
41
00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:46,065
{\an8}Whenever that may be.
42
00:01:46,065 --> 00:01:48,192
{\an8}Oh. On my field trip.
43
00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:50,236
{\an8}That's a little like proposing
at somebody else's wedding,
44
00:01:50,236 --> 00:01:53,364
{\an8}but, you know, lucky for you,
I'm not that kind of bride.
45
00:01:56,367 --> 00:01:58,285
{\an8}None of the kids
want to sit with me.
46
00:01:58,285 --> 00:01:59,912
{\an8}You confiscate
one water balloon
47
00:01:59,912 --> 00:02:02,122
{\an8}and you are persona non grata
around here.
48
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,375
{\an8}Uh, well, as much as
I love a bus buddy,
49
00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:06,043
{\an8}maybe there's
another open seat
50
00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:08,337
{\an8}you'd prefer
to sit in.
51
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:11,257
{\an8}What are you
talking about?
52
00:02:11,257 --> 00:02:13,175
{\an8}Let's just say
a little birdie
53
00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:14,718
named Gregory
told me that
54
00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:18,514
{\an8}he may have some very
serious feelings for you.
55
00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:25,312
{\an8}Jacob, I need you to tell me
the truth right now.
56
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,481
{\an8}Did Gregory say that,
57
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,483
or do you have a bird
named Gregory?
58
00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,485
My bird's name is Peter,
and you would know that
59
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,070
if you ever came over
to meet her.
60
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:34,363
Basically--
Janine.
61
00:02:34,363 --> 00:02:35,948
Just admit it.
62
00:02:35,948 --> 00:02:38,367
You still like him, right?
63
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,705
Maybe.
64
00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:45,249
Yes. Yes, yes,
yes, yes.
65
00:02:45,249 --> 00:02:47,334
But I already tried to tell him
at the beginning of the year.
66
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:48,919
Okay, well, you were
different people then.
67
00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,254
We all were.
68
00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:51,839
I was in a relationship
and unhappy.
69
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:53,090
And now look at me.
70
00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:55,426
I'm-- I'm single and...
71
00:02:55,426 --> 00:02:57,845
you know, I'm fine.
72
00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,847
Just...
73
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:02,808
Just go talk to him.
Trust me.
74
00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:05,644
Okay.
75
00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:11,442
Hey. Oh.
76
00:03:11,442 --> 00:03:13,110
Come here often?
77
00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:14,862
About once a year.
78
00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:16,530
Me too. Me too.
79
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:19,366
These field trips,
they usually end in disaster.
80
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:20,659
It's crazy.
81
00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:22,453
Well, maybe this year's
field trip
82
00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:24,330
can break
our unlucky streak.
83
00:03:25,331 --> 00:03:27,625
Next stop-- the park!
84
00:03:27,625 --> 00:03:28,959
Whoo!
85
00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:33,505
Nice to finally have
some peace and quiet, huh?
86
00:03:33,505 --> 00:03:36,216
In my head, things are
as loud as ever.
87
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,593
With no kids around,
88
00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:39,637
I can finally take care
of my to-do list.
89
00:03:39,637 --> 00:03:41,347
But most pressing of all?
90
00:03:41,347 --> 00:03:44,308
All these damn keys
weighing my pants down.
91
00:03:44,308 --> 00:03:47,353
I got duplicates,
triplicates, four...
92
00:03:47,353 --> 00:03:48,812
plicates.
93
00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:51,065
My belt loops are rated
50 pounds or less
94
00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:52,816
and suspenders
are for freaks.
95
00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,860
And if you think
the seesaw is cool,
96
00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:56,946
you should check out
the fun facts section of your--
97
00:03:56,946 --> 00:03:58,697
Okay, no one's listening.
98
00:04:00,658 --> 00:04:03,160
My air chair needs air,
and there's no wind.
99
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,662
Try running north
to south.
100
00:04:04,662 --> 00:04:06,997
Ms. Schemmenti!
A kid pushed me!
101
00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:08,999
Oh, no.
Are you okay, kiddo?
102
00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:10,876
Which kid?
That kid over there
103
00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:12,920
from the other school.
104
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:15,339
Oh. Oh.
105
00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:17,508
Hey. How you doing?
106
00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:20,010
So, um, I just was made
to understand
107
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,553
that there was
some sort of incident
108
00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:23,597
where your kid
pushed my kid.
109
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,599
Well, actually,
I was told that
110
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:29,353
your student
shoved my student first, so...
111
00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:31,605
Oh. Well,
that's unfortunate.
112
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:34,024
Why don't we just have
them apologize to each other?
113
00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:35,526
Okay. W-- Sure.
114
00:04:35,526 --> 00:04:38,195
I mean, I guess that's
the right thing to do,
115
00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:40,489
no matter who shoved
the other one first. Go ahead.
116
00:04:42,658 --> 00:04:44,576
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
117
00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:46,286
Huh?
Yeah.
118
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:47,746
It's gonna be a great day.
119
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,123
Yeah.
Yeah.
120
00:04:49,123 --> 00:04:50,749
Oh, yeah,
it can get like that
121
00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:52,710
between kids
on the playground sometimes.
122
00:04:52,710 --> 00:04:54,712
Especially right before
snack time.
123
00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:57,965
It's like a less violent version
of the "Squid Game."
124
00:04:57,965 --> 00:04:59,758
Gotta tell you,
I'm not loving the 'tude
125
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,677
coming off that teacher, though.
126
00:05:01,677 --> 00:05:03,012
Alex, be careful.
127
00:05:03,012 --> 00:05:04,138
Your shoes are untied!
Oh!
128
00:05:04,138 --> 00:05:05,597
And he's down.
I got Band-Aids.
129
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:06,807
Oh, no, he's back up.
130
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:07,891
It's alright.
He's running it off.
131
00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:09,476
That's good.
132
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,479
We did a pretty good job of
getting him to like school.
133
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,982
"Like" is a strong word,
but he's here.
134
00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:17,109
What kid would miss
field trip day?
135
00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:19,236
Uh, well... actually,
136
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:21,613
I hated field trips
as a kid.
137
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,907
It meant missing class.
138
00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:26,827
Oh, right.
I forgot you're a nerd.
139
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,121
You sing Randy Newman songs
to your plants,
140
00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:30,664
so who's the nerd, really?
141
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,624
You heard that?
Yeah.
142
00:05:38,422 --> 00:05:39,882
Do you mind, um,
taking a picture
143
00:05:39,882 --> 00:05:41,300
of me with my kids
in the background?
144
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:42,760
I barely have any
from the year, so...
145
00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:45,429
Right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you.
146
00:05:45,429 --> 00:05:47,097
Okay, ready?
147
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,979
Got it?
148
00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:55,773
Yeah.
Yeah?
149
00:05:55,773 --> 00:05:57,566
Thank you.
150
00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:03,489
Um...
151
00:06:03,489 --> 00:06:05,157
Hey,
are you a swinger?
152
00:06:05,157 --> 00:06:06,784
What?
153
00:06:06,784 --> 00:06:08,368
Do you want to go on
the swings?
154
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,870
Oh, yes.
Yeah.
155
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,789
I swing
on the swings.
Swings.
156
00:06:11,789 --> 00:06:13,123
Yeah.
Do you want to do them?
157
00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:14,291
The swings?
Yeah.
158
00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:16,001
Okay.
159
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:17,586
Look at 'em.
160
00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:19,546
Those Liberty kids
keep cutting our kids in line.
161
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:21,548
Oh. It's just
kids being kids.
162
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,967
See, my student Torian,
he's right up front.
163
00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,552
Nobody's cutting--
164
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:26,970
Ooh, just
wait a minute now.
Hey.
165
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,305
Hold on a second.
Okay, let's--
166
00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:29,723
let's not let this ruin
my big day.
167
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,391
Okay, but you didn't see
what happened
168
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,644
between me and one of
the Liberty teachers earlier.
169
00:06:33,644 --> 00:06:35,562
I am sensing
a pattern here.
170
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,189
Melissa.
Hmm?
171
00:06:37,189 --> 00:06:39,399
I'm going to need some muscle
and a sharp tongue.
172
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,818
Well, let's go then.
Come on.
173
00:06:40,818 --> 00:06:41,944
Hey.
174
00:06:41,944 --> 00:06:43,320
Nice to see you again.
Listen.
175
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,197
Your kids are
on strike two, okay?
176
00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:47,699
'Cause they seem to keep
cutting our kids in line.
177
00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:49,827
What?
That is so interesting
178
00:06:49,827 --> 00:06:51,745
because, see,
our kids are saying
179
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,872
that your kids are hogging
all the saddle spinners.
180
00:06:53,872 --> 00:06:56,416
So, I don't know.
Teach your kids to share.
181
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:59,253
No need to get snippy here.
182
00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:00,587
Oh, no.
183
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,172
I see where
these Liberty students
184
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:03,507
get their manners.
Mm-hmm.
185
00:07:03,507 --> 00:07:04,758
What was that?
Nothing.
186
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,051
Why don't you watch
your students?
187
00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:07,427
Why don't you, huh?
Yeah, we just,
188
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,054
you know,
want to keep things fair.
189
00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:10,097
All right?
Alright, yeah, well, you know,
190
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:11,723
life's not fair.
Right?
191
00:07:11,723 --> 00:07:13,350
You have to
teach at Abbott, so...
192
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:14,643
Excuse you?
The audacity!
193
00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:16,603
No, we get
to teach at Abbott.
194
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:19,356
Huh.
Yeah, I get to be
lactose intolerant.
195
00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:22,943
She was being rude.
I get it now.
Thank you.
196
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,737
Okay. I shouldn't punch someone
in the park, right?
No.
197
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:30,784
Liberty
everywhere you look.
198
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:31,827
Do they not understand the
meaning of the word "public"?
199
00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:33,245
I'm riled up.
200
00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:34,872
You know, I thought
if anyone was gonna ruin
201
00:07:34,872 --> 00:07:36,540
this field trip for the kids,
it was gonna be you.
202
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:38,458
Hey, Morton.
Are your students having
203
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,502
any trouble with
these Liberty kids today?
204
00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:42,129
I honestly
have no idea.
205
00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,964
I've been angrily texting
my ex-wife all morning.
206
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,883
She thinks she should
get the grill.
207
00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:47,551
What's a woman gonna
do with a grill?
208
00:07:47,551 --> 00:07:49,094
You're scum.
209
00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:51,805
Listen, these Liberty teachers
must be stopped.
210
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,348
Y'all need to let it go.
211
00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:55,142
It's not that deep.
212
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:56,476
I'm trying to listen to
an oral history
213
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,020
on the history
of oral histories,
214
00:07:58,020 --> 00:07:59,980
and I can't hear it
over all y'all pettiness.
215
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,148
Oh.
216
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:02,482
Liberty Teacher:
Little help?
217
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,735
Hey, uh, that's our ball.
Toss it back.
218
00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:05,986
Just as far
as you can.
219
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:08,488
I don't want you
to hurt yourself.
220
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:11,283
It has got to be done.
221
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:14,870
- Whoa!
- Come on.
222
00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:16,747
Seriously?
Slow down.
223
00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:19,499
You don't want
to hurt yourself.
224
00:08:20,918 --> 00:08:22,836
How have we
not talked about this?
225
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,087
We haven't?
No.
226
00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:25,505
Yeah, my favorite color
is green.
227
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:26,965
I'm a green guy.
Wow.
228
00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:28,926
Green for your
green thumb?
Mm-hmm.
229
00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:30,928
Okay. And my favorite color
is blue.
230
00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:32,721
Uh-huh.
No synthetic, though.
231
00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:34,848
Okay.
You know, blue,
like, found in nature.
232
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:37,392
Like fish or Smurfs.
233
00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:39,478
Can we get a turn?
234
00:08:39,478 --> 00:08:41,188
Yeah. Sorry.
Oh, yeah.
235
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,314
Okay.
236
00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:48,612
Will only be a while.
237
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,659
You know, if you could go
faster, that would be great.
238
00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:56,370
I'm all the way down
to no excuses.
239
00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:59,206
Oh. Ugh.
240
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,166
Bug.
241
00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:06,880
Take your time
and be safe.
242
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,924
You want to keep your momentum
going so you don't get stuck.
243
00:09:08,924 --> 00:09:10,968
You know what? A little bit
of help here, please.
Oh. Alright.
244
00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:13,011
Here you go. Okay.
245
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:14,888
Thank you.
246
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,723
Whew!
Saved my life.
247
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,725
I don't know
about that.
No, you did.
248
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,227
With my height,
that's the equivalent
249
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:22,062
of a two-story fall.
Okay.
250
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,314
I guess I did
save your life then.
Yeah.
251
00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:27,526
Pick that up from that EMT
you've been hanging out with?
252
00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:30,153
Maybe.
Is that bad?
253
00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:32,614
No. Happy you
learned something.
254
00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:37,494
It's nice to just have
a day with the kids and Gregory.
255
00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:39,579
Feels good.
256
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,498
Feels great.
257
00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:44,001
Ava doesn't like anyone
going down there.
258
00:09:44,001 --> 00:09:45,836
The basement? Why?
259
00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:47,254
I don't know.
260
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:49,006
But I see her going down
there all the time.
261
00:09:57,806 --> 00:10:01,393
Keys were bad enough,
now we've got numbers?
262
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,896
What the hell.
Let's try...
263
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:06,940
6-9-6-9.
264
00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:12,988
69% of the time
it works 69% of the time.
265
00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:17,075
Well, I'll be.
266
00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:20,787
{\an8}Robot Toilet:
Hello, Ms. Coleman.
267
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,372
It's Mr. Johnson,
but you're gonna learn that
268
00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:23,707
the hard way.
269
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,630
Okay, kiddos,
come on, let's go
270
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,215
get us our lunch
and get in the shade.
271
00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:34,926
Oh, thank goodness.
Let's get out of this sun.
272
00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:37,971
Oh!
273
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,557
We had to move
your little lunches.
274
00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:42,809
I hope it's not a problem.
275
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,895
Oh!
276
00:10:44,895 --> 00:10:47,898
That was supposed
to be our spot.
277
00:10:47,898 --> 00:10:51,068
They threw our lunches
into the sun!
278
00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:53,570
I have never known
evil like that,
279
00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:55,906
and I have been
to a Cowboys home game.
280
00:10:55,906 --> 00:10:58,450
You two!
Where have you been?
281
00:10:58,450 --> 00:10:59,993
We're at war here.
282
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,661
War?
With the park?
283
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,747
Gregory, uh, walk with me
for a moment.
284
00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:05,248
I could--
I could use some air.
285
00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:06,416
We're already outside.
286
00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:07,834
Well,
then it won't take long.
287
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:10,420
Okay, so what's this
about a war?
288
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:12,756
You're a peacetime teacher,
Gregory. This isn't for you.
289
00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:14,758
I merely wanted
you alone to ask
290
00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:16,176
how the bus chat went.
291
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,178
Was it the right time?
No, not yet.
292
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,846
We were having a really good
time by the swings,
293
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,431
but then, while I was
taking a picture of her,
294
00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:23,600
Manny sent her a text
asking her to go to dinner.
295
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,185
Oh, no.
Not the beard.
296
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,604
That's what's different.
I don't care about the text.
297
00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:31,024
If anything, it just motivates
me more to tell her how I feel.
298
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,442
My man.
299
00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:34,152
So...
300
00:11:36,113 --> 00:11:39,074
Next time we're alone,
it's happening.
301
00:11:39,074 --> 00:11:40,700
Wow.
302
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,661
It's like
a Hallmark movie.
303
00:11:42,661 --> 00:11:43,954
Janine is the city girl,
304
00:11:43,954 --> 00:11:45,330
and you're
the rough-and-tumble guy
305
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:46,456
who tends a garden,
306
00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:48,834
and I am the guy...
307
00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:50,502
watching that movie.
308
00:11:53,296 --> 00:11:56,299
You know, hot PB&J
is considered a delicacy
309
00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:57,509
in a lot of places.
310
00:11:57,509 --> 00:11:59,719
It's like a panini, basically.
311
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,055
So, we're being fancy.
312
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:04,474
Ha! Y'all did this
to y'all selves.
313
00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:06,726
Ava, you're deflating.
314
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,980
Hey, how are your warm,
toasty sandwiches?
315
00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:11,690
What'd you say
about our sandwiches?
316
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:13,942
You know what?
Why don't we just not interact
317
00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:15,777
for the rest
of the afternoon?
318
00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:18,071
We are about to take
our students to the slide.
319
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,490
So you all
have a nice day.
320
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:23,243
Actually, we're going to
the slide right now, so...
321
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,786
Say what?
Oh, my God.
322
00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:26,371
Let it go.
323
00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:28,039
This is stupid
playground beef.
324
00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:29,916
Y'all are being more childish
than the kids.
325
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:31,835
Soror!
326
00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:33,879
Crystal?
327
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,674
Crystal.
This is your school?
328
00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:39,092
This is my school.
329
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:41,303
Okay, let's fight
these bitches.
330
00:12:41,303 --> 00:12:43,221
A soror war.
331
00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:45,765
You and your teachers have been
messing with my school all day.
332
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:48,768
Before, when it had no effect
on me, I was disengaged.
333
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,270
But now that my podcast
has ended
334
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,606
and my chair is deflated,
this is personal.
335
00:12:52,606 --> 00:12:53,815
It's time to end this.
336
00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,275
And how do you suppose
we do that?
337
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:56,693
Relay race!
338
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,906
Winner takes all!
339
00:13:00,906 --> 00:13:03,700
The slide
and the pride!
340
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:06,578
Yeah!
So just those two things!
341
00:13:06,578 --> 00:13:10,040
I guess you're forgetting
I was on the track team.
342
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,292
Oh.
I know you a runner.
343
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,877
That's a Chicago term
for a ho.
344
00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:15,921
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
345
00:13:15,921 --> 00:13:17,881
Ebonics, or AAVE,
it changes from state to state.
Jacob, mnh-mnh.
346
00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:22,677
Today, these two crews--
Abbott Elementary...
347
00:13:22,677 --> 00:13:24,429
And Liberty Rings!
348
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:29,893
...will battle it out--
349
00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:32,938
will battle it out
park style.
350
00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:35,065
A relay race through
the playground.
351
00:13:35,065 --> 00:13:36,608
You all know the risks.
352
00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:38,068
It's what you
signed up for.
353
00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:42,072
And winner gets dibs
on the big wooden slide.
354
00:13:42,072 --> 00:13:44,199
Yes!
355
00:13:46,076 --> 00:13:48,078
Alright, here we go.
Here we go. Let's go.
356
00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:50,580
Why?! You don't know
how to light it!
This is kinda nice.
357
00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:52,249
Big slide
all to ourselves.
Mm.
358
00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:55,168
Our kids are so excited
about the relay race.
359
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,128
So are our adults.
360
00:13:57,128 --> 00:13:59,589
So... should we slide?
361
00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:01,341
Yeah.
362
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:02,676
Yeah, use the oven.
Whatever.
363
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,010
Thanks.
364
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,762
Have you sliden before?
365
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:07,180
Um, no.
Oh!
366
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,682
No, I don't typically.
367
00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:10,433
Clear eyes, full hearts,
368
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:12,102
elbows out, hip checks,
whatever it takes.
369
00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:13,395
Mm-hmm.
Let's be aggressive
out there.
370
00:14:13,395 --> 00:14:14,896
Wait. Where's
Janine and Gregory?
371
00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:16,314
Oh, who cares? Janine will
just slow us down.
372
00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:17,941
She's got little limbs.
373
00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:20,026
And let's be real-- Gregory's
never really been one of us.
374
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:22,654
Look.
We need everybody.
375
00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:25,198
I can't carry this team
all by myself.
376
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:27,325
Alright.
Fine. I'll go find them.
377
00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:28,868
Thank you.
378
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,496
You ready?
Born ready.
379
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:53,810
Look, Janine, um...
380
00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:55,312
I wanted to tell you...
381
00:14:55,312 --> 00:14:58,565
Now, what the hell's
going on here?
382
00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:01,276
Sorry. I had to take a call
from my ex-wife.
383
00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:02,819
I wasn't talking
to you.
384
00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:05,238
Ugh. Never date someone
you work with.
385
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,198
Wait. What'd you say?
It's a long story.
386
00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:09,075
No, please.
387
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:10,744
Some of us
need to hear it.
388
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:13,413
Well, me and my ex-wife,
we were both teachers.
389
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,081
Our classes were right next
to each other.
390
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:16,458
We eventually got there.
391
00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:18,460
Ooh.
Sounds so familiar.
392
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:19,961
Did you take it to HR?
393
00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:21,421
'Cause when I used to date
the other cashier
394
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,340
at Cold Stone Creamery,
policy stated
395
00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:25,508
if we didn't report it, they
wouldn't like it or love it.
396
00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:28,261
In fact, they gotta have it
reported to HR.
397
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,722
Or it would have been berry,
berry, berry bad.
398
00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:32,349
Well, we did.
399
00:15:32,349 --> 00:15:34,351
And they warned us,
but we ignored it.
Mm.
400
00:15:34,351 --> 00:15:36,478
And at first, everything
was wonderful, a dream.
401
00:15:36,478 --> 00:15:38,355
But then things got rocky.
402
00:15:38,355 --> 00:15:40,565
We fought, and there was
no escape from it.
403
00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:41,941
That's right.
404
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,194
Home, school,
the lunch room, recess,
405
00:15:44,194 --> 00:15:47,197
field trips, parks, slides.
406
00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:49,074
She was just there.
407
00:15:49,074 --> 00:15:50,450
Always there.
408
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,869
I eventually had to
change schools,
409
00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:55,038
take less money,
crappy studio apartment,
410
00:15:55,038 --> 00:15:56,581
forced to work
with Mr. Hill.
Oof.
411
00:15:56,581 --> 00:15:58,375
I feel that.
412
00:15:58,375 --> 00:16:01,252
And now
I have several ulcers.
413
00:16:01,252 --> 00:16:02,504
Mm-hmm.
414
00:16:02,504 --> 00:16:04,297
All because
I dated a coworker.
415
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:07,133
Mm, mm, mm.
Thank you, Mr. Morton.
416
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,719
It was illuminating
for all of us.
417
00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:12,555
Now, if you two will stop acting
like a couple of school kids,
418
00:16:12,555 --> 00:16:14,766
we gotta go win
a relay race.
419
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:27,737
Thanks.
420
00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:29,072
Yeah.
421
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:31,783
I've been thinking
so much about it going right,
422
00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:35,453
I made the mistake of
not considering it going wrong.
423
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,374
So I have to hold off.
424
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:43,586
But Jacob's right, though.
Morton sucks.
425
00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:46,256
I'm 20 pounds lighter
and finally done.
426
00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:48,675
My pants won't have to
sag anymore.
427
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,844
I couldn't find a match
for this last one.
428
00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:53,054
So it's going in the trash.
429
00:16:57,892 --> 00:17:01,229
Oops. Forgot my car keys.
430
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:11,823
Everyone know
what they're doing?
431
00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:13,616
Wait.
I want the monkey bars.
432
00:17:13,616 --> 00:17:15,910
What, you got a bet
on the other team or something?
433
00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:18,329
Janine, I really
don't think--
No, no, no, I can do it.
434
00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:19,706
She can.
435
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:21,833
Fine. Gregory, you got
the tricycle thing.
436
00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:23,710
So "tri-not" to
mess it up.
437
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,628
Okay, okay, okay.
438
00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:26,880
Let's get it!
439
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,715
Let's have a good,
clean race.
440
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:31,050
Clean? Girl, I knew you
in college.
441
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,636
On your mark... get set...
442
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:34,721
go!
443
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:40,393
Hey, wait a second!
Wait a second!
444
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,645
Ava!
445
00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:49,736
One, two...
446
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:52,238
Whooooa!
447
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,616
Okay,
go, go, go, go!
448
00:17:57,786 --> 00:17:59,621
Slap his hand, Jacob!
449
00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:01,748
Come on, Gregory,
let's go!
450
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:04,417
Go, Greg!
Go, Greg!
451
00:18:09,047 --> 00:18:10,924
That's it!
Don't fall!
452
00:18:10,924 --> 00:18:13,259
Oh, yes, Melissa!
453
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,761
Yes, beautiful!
454
00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:19,098
Go! Go! Go!
Here we go! Here we go!
455
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,350
Go, Janine!
456
00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:21,601
She good!
457
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,937
Fly, Janine, fly!
458
00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:26,022
You got it.
Yes!
459
00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:27,899
Go, Janine!
You got it!
460
00:18:27,899 --> 00:18:29,359
Go, Janine!
461
00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:31,694
Come on, Janine, come on!
Put it all into it!
462
00:18:31,694 --> 00:18:33,947
I'm not physical
in this way.
463
00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:35,907
One more, Janine!
One more!
464
00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:37,909
Okay.
465
00:18:37,909 --> 00:18:40,119
Alright, now.
466
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,455
Stop dancing, Janine!
Stop!
467
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,624
Sorry!
Thank you!
468
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:46,793
Barb!
You got this!
469
00:18:51,214 --> 00:18:52,757
Go, Barb, go!
470
00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:55,093
- Oh, no, you didn't!
- Go, Barb!
471
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,473
Satan right
behind you, girl!
472
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:05,854
Yeah!
473
00:19:09,524 --> 00:19:10,900
You're welcome, kids!
474
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:11,943
Yes.
475
00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:13,319
Kids?
476
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:15,905
Wait. Where'd all
the kids go?
477
00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:20,743
Looks like the children
can get along
478
00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:22,120
quite well without us.
479
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:23,621
Well, okay, but her kid
shoved my kid.
480
00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:25,665
No, your kid did shove
my kid.
We're done.
481
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:30,169
I guess the adults are
to blame here.
482
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,797
I'm sorry, soror.
483
00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:34,340
And I'm sorry...
484
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:36,843
that we had to
beat your ass!
485
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:39,846
Whoo!
486
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:42,348
Boom!
Ooh! Sorry.
487
00:19:48,271 --> 00:19:49,606
Took you long enough.
488
00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:51,691
Mr. Johnson,
what you doing outside?
489
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:54,193
While I was thinning out
my keys, I locked myself out.
490
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,946
No way back in, so I guess
there's no more school forever.
491
00:19:59,574 --> 00:20:02,744
If it was that easy, I'd have
locked us out years ago.
492
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:04,954
Outta my way.
I gotta pee.
493
00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:07,790
Lucky for me, I found that
brand-new bathroom to use.
494
00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:09,459
Please tell me
you didn't use it.
495
00:20:09,459 --> 00:20:12,295
Use it?
Baby, I abused it.
496
00:20:12,295 --> 00:20:14,881
No. No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no!
497
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:16,341
Jacob.
498
00:20:16,341 --> 00:20:18,051
I gotta hand it
to you, man.
499
00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:19,886
I thought this whole field trip
was gonna be terrible.
500
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:22,013
Just a bad idea
from start to finish.
501
00:20:22,013 --> 00:20:24,349
But best field trip ever?
502
00:20:24,349 --> 00:20:26,809
Best field trip ever!
503
00:20:26,809 --> 00:20:28,603
Smith Playground champions,
baby!
504
00:20:28,603 --> 00:20:30,480
That's right.
505
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,649
Look, I said you're
not getting the grill.
506
00:20:34,484 --> 00:20:36,861
Okay, um, I guess
it's time to go inside.
507
00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:40,573
Cool. I'm gonna see if Jacob
needs help with anything.
508
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,158
Okay.
509
00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:43,785
I'll see you tomorrow?
510
00:20:43,785 --> 00:20:45,745
Yeah.
511
00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:52,919
You a little sore?
512
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:54,253
Forget a Charley Horse,
513
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:57,674
I got a Charley Polo Team
in my hamstrings.
514
00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:01,219
Charley Polo Team.
515
00:21:01,219 --> 00:21:03,012
{\an8}Like Ralph Lauren.
516
00:21:05,473 --> 00:21:07,100
{\an8}Shut up, Gregory.
517
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:08,476
{\an8}I said nothing.
518
00:21:08,476 --> 00:21:10,728
{\an8}But I did tell you
all to stretch.
519
00:21:11,562 --> 00:21:13,439
{\an8}You all look ridiculous.
520
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:15,316
{\an8}Us? What about you?
521
00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:18,611
{\an8}Where does your waist end
and your neck begin?
522
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:20,947
{\an8}If that's supposed
to be a pickup line...
523
00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:22,573
{\an8}it's working.
524
00:21:24,367 --> 00:21:26,369
{\an8}Delicious.
36856
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