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1
00:00:03,170 --> 00:00:04,380
Melissa!
2
00:00:04,380 --> 00:00:06,757
Hey, um, I have to supervise
this quiz,
3
00:00:06,757 --> 00:00:08,384
but if you see
Mr. Johnson,
4
00:00:08,384 --> 00:00:10,386
can you just let him know
that I may need a spare key?
5
00:00:10,386 --> 00:00:11,804
I blanked
where I put mine.
6
00:00:11,804 --> 00:00:13,139
You better not lose
our house key.
7
00:00:13,139 --> 00:00:14,640
My cousin Billy
just got out.
8
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:17,393
But sure,
I'll tell him if I see him.
9
00:00:17,393 --> 00:00:19,228
Hey,
if you see Mr. Johnson,
10
00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:20,980
can you tell him that
Jacob may need a...
11
00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:25,359
Dia, tell Mr. Johnson
that Jacob needs to find...
12
00:00:27,403 --> 00:00:31,073
Mr. Johnson?!
13
00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:33,242
Janine!
Yeah?
14
00:00:33,242 --> 00:00:34,410
Have you seen
Mr. Johnson?
15
00:00:34,410 --> 00:00:35,536
Before, yeah.
Today, no.
16
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,329
If you do,
can you let him know
17
00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:38,789
that Jacob
desperately needs...
Make some noise!
18
00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,001
Oh, my God. That sounds
time-sensitive.
19
00:00:42,001 --> 00:00:43,335
Okay, yeah.
I'll let him know right away.
20
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:45,921
Mr. Johnson:
There you are.
21
00:00:45,921 --> 00:00:48,507
Wasn't easy, but I got you
a mariachi band for lesson time.
22
00:00:48,507 --> 00:00:50,843
What? I said I may need
a spare key.
23
00:00:50,843 --> 00:00:52,052
I blanked
where I put mine.
24
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,471
That's not
what I was told.
25
00:00:53,471 --> 00:00:55,556
Also, you need to clean
the upstairs bathroom.
26
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,850
This took a long time
to put together.
27
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,870
Oh,
they look so good.
28
00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:19,622
Come on.
29
00:01:19,622 --> 00:01:21,582
Mother's Day has become
very important to me
30
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:24,043
ever since I lost my mom
a few years ago.
31
00:01:24,043 --> 00:01:26,295
I like to do something special
every year.
32
00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:29,632
And this year, I'm in charge
of the hallway decorations,
33
00:01:29,632 --> 00:01:33,469
so the students can show
appreciation for their moms.
34
00:01:33,469 --> 00:01:35,888
{\an8}I think the moms
are gonna love these.
Mm-hmm.
35
00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:37,681
{\an8}You know, when I was a kid,
I always made sure
36
00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:40,059
{\an8}I did just enough to stay
in my mom's top five.
37
00:01:40,059 --> 00:01:43,062
{\an8}Top five?
How many siblings do you have?
38
00:01:43,062 --> 00:01:46,148
{\an8}Hey, so I got my sisters
Kristin Marie, Marie,
39
00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:47,566
{\an8}Mary Camille, Maria Christina,
40
00:01:47,566 --> 00:01:49,068
{\an8}my sister Toni,
my brother Tony,
41
00:01:49,068 --> 00:01:51,070
{\an8}John Anthony, and Seamus.
42
00:01:51,070 --> 00:01:53,030
{\an8}It's a different dad.
43
00:01:53,030 --> 00:01:55,241
{\an8}Barb, do you need me to bring
anything else to the house
44
00:01:55,241 --> 00:01:56,742
{\an8}on Sunday besides lasagna?
45
00:01:56,742 --> 00:01:59,036
{\an8}You know I handle everything
for Mother's Day.
46
00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:00,913
{\an8}And the only reason I'm letting
you bring the lasagna
47
00:02:00,913 --> 00:02:03,165
{\an8}is because Gerald
won't shut up about it.
48
00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:04,792
{\an8}If either of you
have a hankering afterward
49
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,961
{\an8}for bottomless mimosas,
I will be at Mothered Day,
50
00:02:06,961 --> 00:02:09,296
{\an8}which is a themed drag brunch
over at Rubensteins,
51
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:11,382
{\an8}celebrating
all of our mothers.
52
00:02:11,382 --> 00:02:13,050
{\an8}Oh, I wish I could, kid,
53
00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:16,428
{\an8}but I'm going to my mom's after,
and I can't show up drunk.
54
00:02:16,428 --> 00:02:18,472
{\an8}Mm.
It's a family tradition.
55
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,766
{\an8}On Mother's Day,
we get drunk as a family.
56
00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,268
{\an8}Especially Seamus.
57
00:02:22,268 --> 00:02:24,270
{\an8}So, Janine,
what about you and your sister?
58
00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:25,646
{\an8}Anything nice planned?
59
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:27,773
{\an8}Oh, no,
I'll be at drag brunch, also,
60
00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:29,942
{\an8}because my mom doesn't like
celebrating Mother's Day.
61
00:02:29,942 --> 00:02:31,986
{\an8}Says it's her least
favorite holiday.
62
00:02:31,986 --> 00:02:34,446
{\an8}And my sister's gonna
be celebrating with
her dad and stepmom.
63
00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:36,198
{\an8}Oh, you two have
different dads?
64
00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:37,867
{\an8}Of course, they do.
65
00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:39,076
{\an8}You thought with
that height difference
66
00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:40,786
{\an8}they had the same father?
67
00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:43,289
Janine's dad is probably
Kevin Hart or something.
68
00:02:43,289 --> 00:02:44,665
'Cause he short.
69
00:02:47,877 --> 00:02:52,131
So, unfun fact, I actually
don't know who my dad is.
70
00:02:52,131 --> 00:02:53,924
I used to think about it a lot
when I was younger,
71
00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:56,802
but then, you know, I guess
I just kinda stopped.
72
00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:58,637
And I know Ava was joking,
73
00:02:58,637 --> 00:03:02,808
but my mom did know
Kevin Hart in high school.
74
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:04,727
And we're both really funny.
75
00:03:04,727 --> 00:03:07,021
So... mm.
76
00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:09,356
{\an8}Hey, Ava, um, please tell me
you got a chance
77
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,816
{\an8}to go over
the field trip options.
78
00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:12,234
{\an8}If we want to get
the Natural History Museum,
79
00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:13,652
{\an8}we got to move, like,
ASAP because--
80
00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:15,654
{\an8}Oh. I forgot to tell you.
Not happening.
81
00:03:15,654 --> 00:03:17,072
We don't have money
for a field trip.
82
00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:19,074
So, what? We just cancel
the trip this year?
83
00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:20,492
I would rather die.
84
00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:22,077
My cousin Jamil
just opened a cemetery.
85
00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:24,830
This school always finds a way
to disappoint me.
86
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:26,540
Okay, that's not great.
87
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:27,708
Well, if you can
figure out a way
88
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,209
to get money
for a field trip,
89
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,462
then you won't have to
disappoint all of us.
90
00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:35,132
Barb,
you really nailed this.
91
00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:37,176
Thank you.
What?
92
00:03:37,176 --> 00:03:40,471
"Thanks, Moms"?
What is that, sarcasm?
93
00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:43,390
Find what matches.
94
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,309
That's how you know
what's gonna rhyme, okay?
95
00:03:45,309 --> 00:03:46,477
Gregory.
96
00:03:46,477 --> 00:03:47,770
Can we talk to you, please?
97
00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:49,688
Uh, yeah.
98
00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:52,441
Um, I'll be right back, y'all.
99
00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:55,903
Um, is there
something you need?
100
00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:58,530
Every other class
has made touching tributes
101
00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,366
to their mothers
for the hallway.
102
00:04:00,366 --> 00:04:02,284
And then I saw yours.
103
00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:04,536
Oh, it left much
to be desired.
104
00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:06,580
Right, well, I told my students
they could participate
105
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:07,873
if they wanted to,
and some of them did.
106
00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:09,667
Oh.
Typical guy.
107
00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:12,044
You know, my brothers phone it
in for Mother's Day, too.
108
00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:15,005
I mean, Tony's got an excuse.
He's locked up.
109
00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:17,007
For a non-violent crime.
110
00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:19,551
Don't you want all
of your students to participate?
111
00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:20,719
I mean, think about it.
112
00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:22,429
Wouldn't your mom be
disappointed
113
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,556
if you didn't do something
special for her this year?
114
00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:28,060
Mm-hmm.
Um... no.
115
00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:30,396
Um, because my mom passed away
when I was 9.
116
00:04:30,396 --> 00:04:32,147
Oh, Gregory.
117
00:04:32,147 --> 00:04:33,941
I'm-- I'm sorry.
I-I didn't--
118
00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:35,818
Why didn't you
bring this up before?
119
00:04:35,818 --> 00:04:37,569
There's not a lot
of natural segues.
120
00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:38,737
Like, "Oh,
how was your weekend?"
121
00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:39,989
"My mom died when I was 9."
122
00:04:39,989 --> 00:04:41,115
Okay, well,
maybe not that,
123
00:04:41,115 --> 00:04:42,658
but, you know,
in that area.
124
00:04:42,658 --> 00:04:45,244
And I know this holiday
must be difficult for you.
125
00:04:45,244 --> 00:04:46,537
It's really okay.
126
00:04:46,537 --> 00:04:48,163
I usually just stop by
Topgolf.
127
00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:49,748
It's Mother's Day,
so the dads are usually busy,
128
00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:51,250
so I have the whole place
to myself.
129
00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:54,503
Mr. Eddie,
Damien won't stop poking me.
130
00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:55,838
Excuse me.
131
00:04:55,838 --> 00:04:57,423
What's going on
with y'all today?
132
00:04:57,423 --> 00:04:59,508
Barbara.
Oh.
133
00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:01,010
I cannot sit around
134
00:05:01,010 --> 00:05:03,512
knowing that young man
will be sad and alone
135
00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:06,181
at Topless Golf.
Okay, I think it's Topgolf.
136
00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:09,435
Well, either way, he should join
us for family brunch on Sunday.
137
00:05:09,435 --> 00:05:11,562
That is a great idea.
Mm-hmm.
138
00:05:11,562 --> 00:05:13,814
And you know what?
Actually, so is Topless Golf.
139
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:16,567
I mean, give me a warm climate,
I'm down for 18.
140
00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:21,822
Hey, you got a sec?
141
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,449
Ava says we don't have
any money for a field trip,
142
00:05:23,449 --> 00:05:25,993
but I mean, we can't just--
we can't just give up on it.
143
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,494
How do you start
a GoFundMe?
144
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:28,954
Jacob, you don't think
height is genetic, do you?
145
00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:30,664
I mean, like,
no field trip this year?
146
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,499
That is--
That really gets my goat.
147
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:34,626
We just need, like,
a little bit of coin and--
148
00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:36,128
I mean, that'd be crazy
if my dad, like,
149
00:05:36,128 --> 00:05:38,630
sold out Madison Square Garden
for a comedy show.
150
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,549
Wait, you're
not being serious, are you?
151
00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:42,384
Ava was just being Ava.
152
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,720
Yeah, no, I know, but...
153
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:47,639
my mom actually
did know him, so...
Oh, really?
154
00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:49,600
Well, why don't you just
call her up and ask?
155
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,144
No, that's too bananas.
156
00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:53,896
Unless...
157
00:05:53,896 --> 00:05:56,231
Yeah. Yeah.
Sure. Why not?
158
00:05:56,231 --> 00:05:58,192
It is almost Mother's Day.
Okay, you do that thing.
159
00:05:58,192 --> 00:06:00,903
I'm gonna get started
on this thang.
Okay.
160
00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:08,994
Hey, girl.
I'm just at the hair salon.
161
00:06:08,994 --> 00:06:11,330
Oh, hey, Mom.
You actually picked up.
162
00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:14,500
Oh, girl, I gotta save you
as "daughter Janine."
163
00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:16,794
I thought you were
"parole officer Janine."
164
00:06:16,794 --> 00:06:18,712
I'm actually in Canada.
165
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,923
Sure.
I'll just get to the point then.
166
00:06:20,923 --> 00:06:22,966
Uh, Mom, you said
you went to high school
167
00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:25,427
with Kevin Hart, right?
Sure did.
168
00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:27,805
He was the star
of the basketball team.
169
00:06:27,805 --> 00:06:30,015
He won the dunk contest
and everything.
170
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,850
Craziest I've ever seen.
171
00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:33,811
Yeah, that is crazy.
172
00:06:33,811 --> 00:06:36,980
You two didn't, like, date,
right, or anything?
173
00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:39,108
Date?! Girl, no.
I would never.
174
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,568
But we did
though.
175
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,153
Look, I gotta go.
176
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:45,197
Somebody is trying to put
gravy on my fries.
177
00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:47,658
Now, hold up, Jack.
What is this "aboot"?
178
00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:52,496
Look at us standing
all nice and tall.
179
00:06:52,496 --> 00:06:53,789
Proud of you.
180
00:06:53,789 --> 00:06:56,250
You guys over here,
don't stress.
181
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:59,461
Life, uh, finds a way.
182
00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:01,755
Gregory, I see you
talking to your plants.
183
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,507
It's supposed
to stimulate growth.
184
00:07:03,507 --> 00:07:06,218
Well, I read that the ones
tended to the most
185
00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:07,427
grow the strongest.
186
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,096
It's a delicate balance.
187
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:12,266
Over-watering and over-pruning
can sometimes smother a plant.
188
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:14,393
Well, I'm having
a Mother's Day gathering
189
00:07:14,393 --> 00:07:16,061
at my home on Sunday,
190
00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:17,896
and I would love it
if you would join us.
191
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:19,940
Oh, it's okay.
Really. I'm good. Tha--
192
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,817
Oh, we're going to have
family and friends
193
00:07:21,817 --> 00:07:24,361
and a spread
that even you will enjoy,
194
00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,780
and I won't take no
for an answer.
195
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:29,158
Okay.
Well, I'll be there.
196
00:07:29,158 --> 00:07:30,576
Can I bring anything?
197
00:07:30,576 --> 00:07:33,412
Please don't.
198
00:07:33,412 --> 00:07:37,541
Obviously, this means a lot
to Barbara, so I'll stop by.
199
00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:39,877
Swing by. Fly by.
200
00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:41,753
The point is,
this is gonna be quick.
201
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:44,089
So, to find out if Kevin Hart
is actually my dad,
202
00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:45,716
I'm contacting him
on every platform,
203
00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:46,884
starting with Venmo.
204
00:07:46,884 --> 00:07:48,594
Love that for us.
Mm-hmm.
205
00:07:48,594 --> 00:07:49,928
And you would think
I'd be requesting money.
206
00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:52,181
But no. Actually,
I'm sending him a dollar.
207
00:07:52,181 --> 00:07:53,849
Whoa, what the "H"?
208
00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:55,726
I just got an e-mail saying
that the GoFundMe
209
00:07:55,726 --> 00:07:57,561
for the field trip
has been taken down.
210
00:07:57,561 --> 00:07:59,188
"Due to constant
fraudulent activity,
211
00:07:59,188 --> 00:08:01,732
all fundraisers related
to 'Abbott Elementary'
212
00:08:01,732 --> 00:08:02,941
have been suspended."
213
00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:04,610
Damn,
they shut it down already?
214
00:08:04,610 --> 00:08:06,069
Abott with one B,
Abbottt with three T's,
215
00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:07,613
and Addington are
burned, too.
216
00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:09,031
Burned?
Ava, what did you do?
217
00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:10,741
What didn't I do?
218
00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:12,284
You will never understand
what it takes to be a principal.
219
00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,787
You could bust out
Janine Teagues Elementary.
220
00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:17,998
No.
No, that's stupid.
221
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,791
Or is it?
I can hear you.
222
00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:21,126
But you can't stop me.
223
00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:22,544
Jacob,
why don't you just go
224
00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:23,879
to this week's
PTA meeting?
225
00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:25,172
I mean,
if they're gonna exist,
226
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:26,632
they might as well
do something.
227
00:08:26,632 --> 00:08:30,135
Oh.
228
00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:32,429
Oh, Melissa Schemmenti,
you are good.
229
00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:34,181
Yeah, what a surprise.
230
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,099
And, Janine, I don't know
how nuts you want to get here,
231
00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:38,602
but I do know a guy
who knows Kevin Hart's barber.
232
00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:39,811
I introduced him
to his wife.
233
00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:41,104
Well, now his ex-wife,
234
00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:42,773
but technically,
he still owes me.
235
00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:44,983
We get some of his hair--
run the DNA.
236
00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,568
Mr. Johnson: Barbers.
I hate 'em.
237
00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:48,487
Who do you think
did this to me?
238
00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:51,156
The worst barber of all--
time.
239
00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:53,450
Melissa,
that is demented.
240
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:55,369
I love it.
241
00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:57,246
Look, it drove my brother
Seamus crazy
242
00:08:57,246 --> 00:08:58,789
not knowing who his dad was.
243
00:08:58,789 --> 00:09:01,500
That's why he drinks.
And other reasons, too.
244
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:03,210
And I don't want that
for Janine.
245
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:08,340
Tariq, my man,
my dude, my prez.
246
00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:10,092
Hey, I was hoping
we could talk funds
247
00:09:10,092 --> 00:09:11,635
for a potential
field trip.
248
00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:13,929
Oh, what's up, Jacob?
Oh, wait. That sounds dope.
249
00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:16,014
I love going on those.
So, you can help fund it?
250
00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:17,724
Oh, no. Unh-unh.
251
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,268
Not with human money.
252
00:09:19,268 --> 00:09:22,312
We in the red, baby.
Or the black.
253
00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:24,022
Which one means
a negative cash flow?
254
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,359
Is that--
Is that sushi?
255
00:09:27,359 --> 00:09:29,945
Come on, man. Don't disrespect
Mr. Yanaga like that.
256
00:09:29,945 --> 00:09:32,322
You know damn well
this is nigiri.
257
00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,283
Don't you think you should
be prioritizing activities
258
00:09:34,283 --> 00:09:36,702
that actually benefit
the students?
259
00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:38,203
Let me break this down
for you.
260
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:39,997
We got to level up
this food,
261
00:09:39,997 --> 00:09:42,165
make the PTA a club
people actually wanna join.
262
00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:43,875
Then boom.
263
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:46,044
We're gonna hit them with them
higher mandatory donations.
264
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:48,547
By 2027, quarter four,
we'll be profitable.
265
00:09:48,547 --> 00:09:51,383
Okay, well,
I can't wait until 2027.
Quarter four.
266
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:53,885
I was hoping to get something,
like, the end of this year.
267
00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:56,930
Best I can offer is
some volunteer chaperones,
268
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,057
transportation,
and kanpachi.
269
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:03,395
Hmm.
Get you one of these.
270
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:07,691
Good, ain't it?
271
00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:10,861
Kanpai, Yanaga-san.
272
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,990
Welcome, Gregory.
273
00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:17,284
I'm so happy
you could make it.
274
00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:19,244
Niecey, come down!
275
00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:20,704
You know my husband.
276
00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:23,540
Melissa, I told you
I will handle that.
277
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:24,916
She's been like this
all day.
278
00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:26,710
Honestly, she's been like this
every holiday
279
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:28,587
since her mom passed.
I told you I got it.
280
00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:30,213
Can you take the macaroni
and cheese out the oven?
281
00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:31,757
Right. In a moment.
282
00:10:31,757 --> 00:10:35,093
Everybody, please
welcome Gregory,
283
00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:37,095
who's going to be spending
Mother's Day with us
284
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:39,514
because he had
no place else to go.
Not true.
285
00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:41,224
I did have somewhere else to go
and still do.
286
00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:43,352
He's going to be a part
of our family today
287
00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:45,187
because there was no way
that I could let
288
00:10:45,187 --> 00:10:47,314
a fellow child
of bereavement
289
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,941
spend this day alone,
isn't that right?
290
00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:52,611
Aunt Barbara,
I need help with baby Maya.
291
00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:54,988
Alright, niecey.
292
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,865
So sorry for your loss.
293
00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:58,533
It's okay.
It was over 20 years ago.
294
00:10:58,533 --> 00:10:59,701
Are your family huggers?
295
00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:00,744
No.
296
00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:02,204
Well, we are here.
297
00:11:02,204 --> 00:11:03,872
Oh, okay.
298
00:11:03,872 --> 00:11:06,291
Mm.
299
00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:07,626
Thank you.
300
00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:09,127
Th-Thanks.
301
00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:10,462
Mm-hmm.
302
00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:12,798
Oh, hey, Taylor.
303
00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:15,425
This is my ex, Gregory.
304
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:16,927
Gregory.
305
00:11:16,927 --> 00:11:18,637
Nice to meet you.
306
00:11:18,637 --> 00:11:21,264
And your grief
is Paul's grief.
307
00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:24,142
Oh, more touching.
Okay.
308
00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:25,435
Okay.
309
00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:27,270
Thank you.
310
00:11:29,231 --> 00:11:31,149
♪ Quite another mess ♪
311
00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:33,068
♪ And Mama used to say ♪
312
00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:35,320
♪ "Take your time, young man" ♪
313
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,988
♪ And Mama used to say ♪
314
00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:39,616
Hey, y'all are ruining
drag brunch for me.
I'm sorry.
315
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:41,076
It's just that any second,
I could find out
316
00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:42,285
if Kevin Hart is my dad.
317
00:11:42,285 --> 00:11:44,121
It's giving me
a heart attack.
318
00:11:44,121 --> 00:11:46,331
Pun very much intended
and pre-planned.
319
00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:47,958
My fingers are crossed, girl.
320
00:11:47,958 --> 00:11:49,960
'Cause I could finally pitch him
my idea for "Get Hard 2."
321
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,963
Pbht. Come on. You wouldn't make
a sequel to "Citizen Kane."
322
00:11:52,963 --> 00:11:55,006
Move over.
There's no seats left anywhere.
323
00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:56,508
Ava,
what are you doing here?
324
00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:58,760
My friend Lisa Condo
is the best drag queen here.
325
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,137
Hey.
Hey, girl.
326
00:12:00,137 --> 00:12:03,223
Hey. Is your house hunt
dragging you down?
327
00:12:05,517 --> 00:12:08,311
Still no luck
on the field trip, huh?
How am I gonna
328
00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:09,980
look the children in the eye
the rest of the year?
329
00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:12,190
I have failed them.
Jacob, you have no money,
330
00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:13,942
no help,
and a hard-headed principal.
331
00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:16,027
Cheer up. It's gonna get worse
before it gets worse.
332
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,822
What's wrong with you?
333
00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:21,199
She waiting to find out
if Kevin Hart is her daddy.
334
00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:23,201
Damn. My words really
have meaning, huh?
335
00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:26,204
I should be more reckless.
336
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:28,957
Barbara,
where do you keep the Clorox?
337
00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:30,208
Baby Maya got sick.
338
00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:31,793
I will get it in a second,
Alicia,
339
00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:33,920
but please take a seat.
340
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,548
Alright, everyone.
341
00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:38,717
Before we feast,
342
00:12:38,717 --> 00:12:43,013
we are going to lift up our
brother Gregory Eddie in prayer.
343
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:45,098
Mm-hmm. We'll put healing hands
on him.
344
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,392
Oh. Oh, no, no, no.
No, we don't need to do that.
345
00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:49,394
Alright, please.
346
00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:52,147
Everybody, bow your heads,
347
00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:53,857
and close your eyes.
348
00:12:57,486 --> 00:13:00,238
Father God, we are gathered
here to celebrate mothers,
349
00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:04,201
and also to empower
Gregory Eddie.
350
00:13:04,201 --> 00:13:05,785
Yes, Lord.
Mm.
351
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,954
Please, Father, watch over...
352
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,247
What was your mother's name?
353
00:13:09,247 --> 00:13:11,708
That's not necessary.
Oh, sure, it is.
354
00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:15,420
It was, um... Faith.
355
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:17,214
Here we go.
Mm. Faith.
356
00:13:17,214 --> 00:13:20,175
Faith, the substance
of things hoped for
357
00:13:20,175 --> 00:13:22,928
and the evidence
of things unseen.
358
00:13:22,928 --> 00:13:24,262
Yes, Lord.
359
00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:25,889
And just because
he cannot see Faith
360
00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:27,516
doesn't mean he doesn't have
faith that Faith is with him.
361
00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:29,059
Faith.
Ooh. Yes, Lord.
362
00:13:29,059 --> 00:13:31,186
Um... I gotta go.
363
00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:32,604
God is watching.
364
00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:34,898
Tee time.
Close your eyes.
365
00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:36,441
Father God, we are asking
366
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:41,112
that you hold him close
in your deepest bosom,
367
00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:44,157
since his mother is
not here to do it herself.
368
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,951
Yes, Lord,
hold him tight, Lord.
369
00:13:45,951 --> 00:13:47,994
Amen.
Yes, Lord. Thank you.
370
00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:49,246
There it is.
Uh-huh.
371
00:13:49,246 --> 00:13:51,373
This was great.
Fantastic.
372
00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:53,291
Thank you so much.
373
00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:55,502
Uh... excuse me.
374
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,175
Gregory.
375
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,469
Gregory,
where are you going?
376
00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:05,971
I'm sorry.
I appreciate everything.
377
00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:07,389
Your family is lovely.
378
00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:08,807
I wanted to stop by for a bit,
and I did.
379
00:14:08,807 --> 00:14:10,350
Now I have to head off
to Topgolf.
380
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:13,311
It's Mother's Day.
You need to be around community.
381
00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:15,105
No, I need to be alone,
hitting golf balls.
382
00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:17,399
Oh, that's so sad.
It's not.
383
00:14:17,399 --> 00:14:18,817
Having to talk
about my dead mother
384
00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:20,235
over and over again
is sad.
385
00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:22,404
But we're honoring her.
It's tradition.
386
00:14:22,404 --> 00:14:25,907
It's your tradition,
not mine.
387
00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:27,075
Thank you for having me.
388
00:14:37,127 --> 00:14:39,170
♪ She's a bad mama jama ♪
389
00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:41,381
Can you imagine
if Kevin Hart is my dad?
390
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,674
Oh, no.
391
00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:44,009
Are people gonna think
I got my job
392
00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:45,635
because I'm a nepo baby?
393
00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:47,512
♪ She's a bad mama jama ♪
394
00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:49,014
Oh, my God.
It's the DNA guy.
395
00:14:49,014 --> 00:14:51,016
If he is your dad, you two
should buy a trench coat,
396
00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:53,101
so you could go to
R-rated movies.
397
00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:54,436
Well, aren't you
gonna open it?
398
00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:56,021
Mm-hmm. Okay.
Open the e-mail, Janine.
399
00:14:56,021 --> 00:14:57,063
And read with some flair.
400
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,898
Okay.
401
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:02,527
"When it comes to 27-year-old
Janine Teagues, Kevin Hart...
402
00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:04,279
is not the father."
403
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:06,364
Whoo!
That's right.
404
00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:07,824
Lock up that frown, doll.
405
00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:09,200
The girls are doing kicks!
406
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:10,994
Sorry, Janine.
Sorry, girl.
407
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:13,204
I'll get us a round.
408
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,502
And watch over Barbara,
Lord.
409
00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:22,339
She lost her mother
some years ago.
410
00:15:22,339 --> 00:15:24,090
Please bring peace
to her troubled soul.
411
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,383
Mm-hmm.
Let her grieve today.
412
00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:27,719
Hallelujah, amen.
Amen.
413
00:15:27,719 --> 00:15:29,179
Now, let's dig in.
Okay.
414
00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:32,182
Oh, the pie!
Let me help, Barb.
415
00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:36,186
I got it, Melissa.
I got it.
416
00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:40,440
Oh!
417
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,817
Ooh.
I think it's overcooked.
418
00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:44,778
It's perfect, Barb.
419
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,071
Something happen
with Gregory?
420
00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:47,822
No, he just had to go.
That's all.
421
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:50,617
Mom, are you okay?
422
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:51,826
I'm okay.
423
00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:53,119
Because, you know,
today's a lot
424
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,788
for one person
to shoulder.
425
00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:56,831
And, Mom, today is
about you, too.
426
00:15:56,831 --> 00:15:59,084
If you need a moment,
just take a moment.
427
00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:01,044
Yeah.
We got this.
428
00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:05,632
Maybe you're right.
Yeah.
429
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:07,967
Baby puke will be here
when you get back.
430
00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:11,304
I'm kidding.
I'll have someone clean it up.
431
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,224
Sometimes we can put
an immense amount of pressure
432
00:16:14,224 --> 00:16:16,851
on ourselves to host
the perfect gathering,
433
00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:19,938
to feel a certain way.
434
00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:26,152
And quite frankly, sometimes
it's just overwhelming.
435
00:16:27,237 --> 00:16:29,322
You enjoying the show?
436
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:30,740
Definitely.
437
00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:34,786
Oh, I--
I only have fives left.
438
00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:41,710
Thank you.
439
00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:43,253
Well,
if you enjoyed this,
440
00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:44,629
you should come and check out
our performance
441
00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:45,922
of "A Midsummer Night's
Queen"
442
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:48,216
for our upcoming
Shakesqueer In The Park.
443
00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:49,676
Entry's always free.
444
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:52,137
♪ Keep it coming,
don't stop, mama ♪
445
00:16:52,137 --> 00:16:53,722
♪ Give it to me ♪
446
00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:57,976
Hey, you was fine
before you got
447
00:16:57,976 --> 00:16:59,686
all this nonsense
in your head, right?
448
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:02,897
Yeah, it's just it would've
been nice to finally know.
449
00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:05,942
I don't know who my dad is,
and I turned out fine.
450
00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:07,152
Literally, look at me.
451
00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:08,403
Exactly.
452
00:17:08,403 --> 00:17:10,238
Janine,
you'd rather have no dad
453
00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:11,531
than a neglectful one.
454
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:12,866
Trust me.
True.
455
00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:14,075
I mean, look at you.
456
00:17:14,075 --> 00:17:15,452
How far you've made it?
457
00:17:15,452 --> 00:17:17,162
How beautiful
your best friend is.
458
00:17:17,162 --> 00:17:20,165
Kevin Hart or any daddy
wouldn't have changed that.
459
00:17:20,165 --> 00:17:24,127
Yeah. You're still Janine,
and that's not too bad.
460
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:28,757
You know, your parents
don't define who you are.
461
00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:32,594
I'm happy,
and I stand on my own.
462
00:17:32,594 --> 00:17:36,055
I mean, I literally had to learn
how to stand on my own.
463
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,099
Houston, we have liftoff!
464
00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:39,601
We are having a field trip!
465
00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:41,519
We're going to NASA?
What? No.
466
00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:43,104
Okay,
what's the field trip?
467
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:45,356
Museums are nice, but kids
can have fun anywhere.
468
00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:46,941
They don't need
some expensive trip.
469
00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:49,360
So, I was thinking
Smith Memorial Playground.
470
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:50,945
It's free.
Yes.
471
00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:52,864
And schools take
field trips there all the time.
472
00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:55,492
Ooh, that big wooden slide.
Okay, NASA can wait.
473
00:17:55,492 --> 00:17:57,452
And Tariq said the PTA
could chaperone.
474
00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:58,536
Ha!
I have figured it out.
475
00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:00,246
Boom!
I've done it again.
476
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:02,040
Is there no mountain
too high?
477
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:04,876
Okay, the only problem is we
need to reserve it, like, now.
478
00:18:04,876 --> 00:18:06,711
Oof!
They are popular,
479
00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:09,297
and we need to make reservations
for the entire school.
480
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:11,883
What you gonna do?
481
00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:14,803
Maybe we could, like--
Ava, if you could--
482
00:18:14,803 --> 00:18:15,929
Oh, no.
483
00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:18,056
Attention, everyone!
484
00:18:21,893 --> 00:18:25,855
Queens unite!
485
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,235
Hi, everyone.
486
00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:32,737
Um, listen, we need your help
to reserve a park.
487
00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:36,866
Wait, wait!
For-- For children in need.
488
00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:38,785
Yeah. Yeah.
489
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,328
So, everyone,
get on your phones
490
00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:41,996
and start reserving
beaucoup slots
491
00:18:41,996 --> 00:18:44,249
at Smith Memorial Playground,
and forward them over.
492
00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:45,667
Yeah, you heard her!
493
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,502
If you wanna see
these hip vibrations,
494
00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:49,087
you better make them
reservations.
495
00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:51,673
We're a good team.
So, shantay, you stay.
496
00:18:51,673 --> 00:18:53,049
Okay.
And, Jacob, you come.
497
00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:55,051
You want to get off the stage?
Yeah.
498
00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:56,302
I feel like you should
probably get off the stage.
Thank you.
499
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,471
You should come on.
500
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:14,195
This isn't as sad
as I thought.
501
00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:16,698
Barbara, I'm not going
back to your house.
502
00:19:16,698 --> 00:19:18,116
I know, I know.
503
00:19:18,116 --> 00:19:19,742
I came to apologize.
504
00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:22,078
You were just trying to make
sure that I felt included.
505
00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:23,955
My mother
was the same way,
506
00:19:23,955 --> 00:19:26,457
always trying to make sure
that everyone was happy.
507
00:19:26,457 --> 00:19:28,251
She sounds
like a wonderful person.
508
00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:30,795
She was the best.
509
00:19:30,795 --> 00:19:33,256
You know, on this day, everyone
will always ask me about her,
510
00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:36,134
and they mean well,
but it's the unexpected moments
511
00:19:36,134 --> 00:19:38,344
on random days.
Yeah.
512
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:42,307
I don't need Mother's Day
to remind me to love my mom.
513
00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:45,184
I can understand that.
514
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,020
The other day,
I was in a funk.
515
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:50,940
And one of my students came up
and made a funny face at me.
516
00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:53,401
My mother used to do
the same thing,
517
00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:57,030
always reminding me
not to take life too seriously.
518
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,740
I love that.
519
00:19:59,782 --> 00:20:01,200
And now,
if you will excuse me,
520
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,829
I am going to swing
a few home runs.
521
00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:07,665
I'll leave you to it.
522
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:16,758
All I'm saying is I love
bottomless mimosas.
523
00:20:16,758 --> 00:20:18,134
Why can't I be a part
of the Brunch Squad?
524
00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:19,177
Well, it's actually
the Brunchy Bunch,
525
00:20:19,177 --> 00:20:20,219
but you know what?
526
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:21,262
Next time you're coming, okay?
527
00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:22,722
I told her to invite you.
528
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,599
Janine never ceases
to disappoint.
529
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:29,062
Who is this?
Hmm.
530
00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:31,648
Oh, my God.
Kevin Hart.
531
00:20:31,648 --> 00:20:33,274
Kevin Hart?
Oh, my God.
532
00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:35,151
You doing Cameos now?
Damn.
533
00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:36,194
The game is crazy.
534
00:20:36,194 --> 00:20:37,236
So, you're Janine Teagues?
535
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,947
Yeah. Yes.
Okay.
536
00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:41,449
Why-- Why have you been
harassing me on social media?
537
00:20:41,449 --> 00:20:45,370
Oh, um, so, I am so sorry
about that, Mr. Hart.
538
00:20:45,370 --> 00:20:49,248
Um, it's just that I thought
that maybe you were my dad.
539
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:50,875
Why would you think that?
Yeah.
540
00:20:50,875 --> 00:20:52,126
Why the hell
would you think that?
541
00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:53,795
Well, it's--
it's because, um,
542
00:20:53,795 --> 00:20:55,463
you know, my mom,
she said that you guys
543
00:20:55,463 --> 00:20:57,173
went to high school
together,
544
00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:58,925
and that you guys
intercoursed each other.
545
00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:01,552
{\an8}And, um, her name is Vanetta.
You familiar?
546
00:21:01,552 --> 00:21:03,596
{\an8}Oh [bleep] Vanetta.
Yeah.
547
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:06,557
{\an8}I promise you it wasn't me,
'cause I strap up.
548
00:21:06,557 --> 00:21:08,935
{\an8}Always have.
So, unfollow me.
Alright, will do.
549
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:10,269
{\an8}On everything.
Sorry.
550
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:11,437
{\an8}Okay.
Okay.
551
00:21:11,437 --> 00:21:13,189
{\an8}Oh [bleep] Mr. Johnson!
552
00:21:13,189 --> 00:21:15,191
Yeah.
553
00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:16,901
{\an8}Great to see you again,
my brother.
554
00:21:18,486 --> 00:21:20,655
{\an8}Yeah, Mr. Johnson also--
he works here with me.
555
00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:22,240
{\an8}I don't want to talk to you.
Oh, okay. Alright.
556
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,283
{\an8}I don't want to talk to you.
Okay. Bye.
41340
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