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A LIE CAN TRAVEL HALFWAY AROUND THE WORLD

WHILE THE TRUTH IS STILL
PUTTING ON ITS SHOES.

I'm sorry,
but I'm asking the same question

as Mr. Stárek here
from the Food Inspection Agency.

In what quantity does Kassandra
use palm oil in its products?

Yeah, expose the liar!

But there's no unequivocal answer to that.

Let's first ask what palm oil actually is.

Well, palm oil is palmitic and oleic acid.

Indeed, but the editor here
doesn't understand that.

Mrs. Černá still remains silent,

so I don't think
we're about to hear an answer.

Many thanks to my guests
and farewell to all the listeners.

- This 100th anniversary edition...
- Are you in there?

- Yeah, I'm here.
- What's that hissing sound?

I'm making breakfast.

- So in five minutes?
- Yeah, I'm ready.

And that's all from me,
Marta Havlíčková, today.

And now the news.

Today at noon,
polling stations opened in Kambur,

a small country in size, but one
with nuclear weapons.

And in this Middle Easter emirate
on the border with Jordan,

we have our correspondent Karel Beran.

Everyone believes that today's
elections will take place

in a peaceful atmosphere,

and that the results will represent
a way out of the current political crisis.

Because of Emir Rand VI,

who refuses to give up part of his powers,

the country still has a long way
to go to become truly democratic.

For Czech Radio, Karel Beran, Kambur.

Do you always interrupt your
speaking guests during interviews?

You had 30 minutes to express
your opinion, but that didn't happen.

And palmitic acid is in fact
hexadecanoic acid

which can be spread on a slice of bread.

- Marta, you have a meeting.
- Okay. Goodbye.

See you later.

Ahmed.

Ahmed!

Simply everywhere.

Hello, Marta.

Everything's fine,
I just wanted to hear you.

I'm feeling a little

miserable today.

Call me.

- So what have you got today?
- It's quite bad.

People are getting chain emails
saying they should avoid surgery.

- And why?
- Because a chip would be inserted

in their body.
An alleged agreement between

the Ministry of Health
and the Ministry of the Interior.

For the safety of all citizens.

If you ever get lost,
they'll easily find you.

- But that's great, isn't it?
- Perfect. My hip surgery is coming soon.

Well, maybe you should reconsider.

Sounds good.

- But I want both sides.
- What do you mean?

We have to be balanced.
We need an opposing view.

Some kind of expert
who won't dismiss the chips altogether.

An expert in what? Mental health? Surgery?

- Who the hell is it supposed be?
- Let Khaled help you.

- Did you understand?
- Yes.

- Well done.
- Did you understand?

I'll never get to the microphone.

Just grin
and bear it like all of us once did.

You'll be a great reporter one day.

- Like Mr. Golden Microphone over there?
- Don't talk about him like that, okay?

Not in front of me, anyway.
Shall we have an Arabic lesson today?

- If you wish...
- If you wish? Boss!

He speaks great Czech. If you wish...

- YOU MUST HAVE HAD A GREAT TIME.
- WHAT A COOL PARTY!

- KAREL WAS ABSENT.
- WHAT A PARTY!

- MARTA WAS WILD!
- WHEN THE CAT'S NOT HOME...

- DOES KAREL KNOW ABOUT THIS??
- KAREL IS FAR AWAY!

Okay, Mrs. Černá. Thank you. Goodbye.

- Marta, can I talk to you for a second?
- Yeah.

I'm going to get coffee. Do you want some?

Yes, I do. Thank you.

- Not me. Thank you.
- Yeah. Yeah.

I got a call
from Mrs. Černá from Kassandra.

She said you were biased.

- I wasn't biased at all.
- Well, she must have felt something.

- She kept making a fool of herself.
- Marta.

- Well, I told her that it was...
- Marta.

- Karel.
- I'll call him later, okay?

- ...part of our job.
- Hello?

Marta?

- Is that you, Marta?
- No, it's...

- Who is it?
- Marta can't talk to you right now...

Why not? Who's there? Hello, who is it?

- She's in a meeting.
- Khaled! Is that you?

Well, do you want...

Yeah. That's a good tip.

Hello!

Ahmed?

Ahmed!

STATE OF EMERGENCY

Alright.

- It's just moved!
- Nonsense, you're just seeing things.

It's been soaking in alcohol for 30 years.

We can split the fish open now,
but we have to be careful.

Teacher, why are we dissecting it
in the first place?

So that we know what's inside
and how its body works.

The cut must be fast and precise.

Sometimes even food scraps
can be found in the intestines.

I know this from crime fiction.
"Before the murder,

the victim ingested pizza!"

Alright, it's ready.
And now look inside, children.

Look at this beauty.

This afternoon in Prague is cloudy
and rainy.

And that was the news.

Czech Radio has entered
its second century of broadcasting.

We are where the action is.

And coming up now is
the "Foreign Correspondents' Window."

Yeah, after the song.

Karel Beran is now reporting live.
Karel, can you hear me?

Despite the unbearable heat,

we can see a significant number of people
heading to the polling station

in the fifth district of Kambur.

A woman wearing a burqa
has just walked past me,

proudly holding onto her ballot.

The women of Kambur
earned their right to vote

only seven years ago.
And the fact that they

can have a say about
the fate of their country,

represents the first shoots of
the nascent Arab democracy.

The shoots of democracy?
What a gardener you are!

For Czech Radio, Karel Beran, Kambur.

ARABIC FOR BEGINNERS

- Hello.
- Hi.

- Are you at work? In the radio?
- Sure. Where else would I be?

Why does the Arab answer your phone?

Oh, I was at the boss's.

- I see.
- A poor little lady complained about me.

But I have a lot of work these days.

The boss wants to please certain people,
so he'd love to keep us there non-stop.

Working hours are an alibi
for gray office rats like Brych.

- Real life is completely different.
- So what are you doing now?

I'm about to swim in the pool.

- Good for you.
- Ahmed's just cleaned it.

- It's as hot as hell today.
- It's actually raining here now.

- Yeah? And did you water the plants?
- Are you checking up on me?

- I'm not checking up on you.
- Okay.

Karel?

Hello?

Karel!

Come on in.

- Salam alaykum.
- Alaykum salam.

What a lying slut!

I have both good and bad news for you.
Which do you want?

Always the good stuff. Do you want coffee?

- Yeah, sure.
- Come on in.

I found a Professor Zuzka.
He believes in chipping people.

He says it corresponds with the
current security policy of the state.

That's good. And the bad news?

The bad news is
that he can only do it tonight.

- You're kidding me.
- But...

- So I have to go back to work today?
- I've prepared the questions for you.

I don't want any questions.
I want my Arabic lesson!

I'm looking forward to it.
How do you even say "looking forward to"?

- You've already learned that.
- I haven't. Tell me again.

- Don't let the dog bark like that!
- Don't be mad at him.

Your wife gives him biscuits
and he's used to it now.

She's such a nice lady,
that wife of yours!

It's that hairy mutt again!

No! Shut up!

A young Arab boy has been visiting
her lately, an immigrant, I think.

She's been probably feeding him, too.

- Does he visit often?
- Of course.

Karel has been there for a year
and he's still talking to them in English.

When I go there in the spring,

I want to speak Arabic to blend
in with the locals.

I'll walk into a bar and say:
"Hello, I had..."

- We don't have bars.
- What?

We don't have bars.

Alright, so I'll enter a tea room and say:

"Have you got a bottle of
red wine stashed here somewhere"?

If you want to blend in with the locals,
start by going off the booze. Completely.

I see. But if you want to
blend in with the Czechs,

you should start boozing.
Let's drink to that. Come on.

Do you know that she
was my son's schoolmate?

And look what she's achieved
compared to him.

- But he's a teacher, isn't he?
- Come on, what kind of profession is that?

- The whole family are doctors!
- Shh, not so loud!

The whole family are doctors,
but he only teaches natural sciences.

Teaching is an important profession.
Goodbye. You can go now.

- Goodbye.
- Go!

Come on. Yeah.

Go. Piss off!

Don't be so rude to him
or he'll start talking like that, too.

Come.

...and then pull it out?

Jesus, what do you actually do there?
You've really never done this before?

A lot of things are new for me here.
I'm your teacher now, for example. Apples.

Nice, but with the "ch" sound.
If you're at the market and...

- Put it between your thighs.
- Should I shake it?

- No. Don't shake it.
- Between the thighs?

But watch out, or it'll squirt.

- Bloody hell.
- Oh, dear. I'm sorry, so sorry.

- I'm gonna get a piece of rag.
- I'm really sorry.

I can't believe it.

- Are you wet?
- No, I'm fine.

- Is this from Peru?
- Don't touch it!

Karel is very protective about it.
But it is from Peru, yes.

Sorry, there's champagne on it now,
I'll wash it off and wipe the prints off.

- Hey, can I turn on the TV?
- Why?

Because there's an election in Kambur,
as you know.

And they're about to announce the results,
you see?

It looks good on TV. I should call my mom.

No, it'll take some time. Let's go.

And shut the door,
I don't want to be disturbed.

Of course she didn't water them, slut!

What a pig!

Nice fish, freshly gutted.

Get lost!

- Ouch.
- What's wrong?

The appendectomy stitches. It still hurts.

Your pedagogical dedication is
really unhealthy.

He should have stayed at home
for another week.

- So strange that his mom let him out, huh?
- Sorry, I've got this from my mother.

Forever second, just like Sparta Prague.

Leave it here, I'll eat it later.

Have you told her you're moving
in with me, as we agreed?

- We said after the concert, didn't we?
- No, we said by the time of the concert!

So have you?

- Yeah, sure.
- And what did she say?

That it's fine.

Have you heard about the chips
injected under the skin?

My mom got it in her mail.
Absolute rubbish.

Hang on.
Socially maybe, but not anatomically.

Just a tiny forearm cut would suffice.

The skin is four millimeters thick,

and a chip like that is as thin
as tinfoil.

You'll get it in there in a heartbeat.

It doesn't have to be a big cut.

Just slightly increased sedimentation.
Medically speaking, it's a triviality.

I won't tell my mom about this.

It's gonna get ugly in here today.

What is it?

Nothing, I'm all wet from the wine.

- It's still wet down here.
- So I'll take it off, okay?

Yeah, sure.

- What have you got there?
- What?

Here.

- What?
- The tattoo.

- Oh, this. Uh...
- What's that?

Lebanese poet, Khalil Gibran.
Maybe you know him.

Yeah.

The translation would be:

"Love has no other desire
but to be fulfilled."

You know?

That's beautiful. Wait, is there more?

No, I've kept my back free
for some Czech poems.

Wow, one more time.

- You have to get those "ch" sounds...
- It's really strong.

Look, I've got goosebumps.

That's beautiful. Really beautiful.

Karel!

Kája!

What a lovely declaration of love.

Your mom's gonna be surprised, Khaled.
Your country is on the brink of civil war,

but you will fall in Prague, in the rear,
where peace is protected by NATO.

Stand up and fight!
Prove to me you're a man. Come on!

It's gonna be ugly,
but it's gonna be fast.

Mr. Beran.

- What are you doing here, Karel?
- What am I doing here?!

I'm in my own flat. What's he doing here?!

Visiting. We're studying.

- Are you now? And what exactly?
- Arabic.

- Yeah? Tell me something in Arabic, then.
- Salam...

- What else? No prompting!
- I can't think of anything else now.

Sure. So you're probably not
a very good teacher, are you, Khaled?

Can you tell me who you really are?

You take off your shoes in the mosque,
but not in my own flat?

Because you're not actually visiting,
you're completely at home here.

But I don't like it.
I don't like it at all.

Okay, I'm ready.

The main avenue in Kambur
is flooded with a large number of people

coming to express their dissatisfaction.

The results are a cruel disillusionment
for many voters, and they ask:

"Was this really a fair election"?

The afternoon air is starting to thicken.
Foreign observers, including journalists,

- are getting restless...
- He's armed.

...they don't like it at all.
What happens next? It's hard to say.

The growing crowd
swirls the dust of city streets.

It's going to be a very hot night.

For Czech Radio, Karel Beran, Kambur.

We are where the action is.

People only watch the telly anyway.

Kája, please! Hey!

- Kája?
- Put the gun down!

You're gonna get locked up!

Me? Why should I get locked up?
I'm in Kambur, aren't I?

- I'll be off.
- Sit down!

Let me tell you what I shall do.

I'm gonna shoot this devil right here,

since he got much closer to you
than is the length of one camel.

And I'm gonna clean the gun
and throw it somewhere to be found later.

Because it's registered, you see?
What is it?

- May I?
- Shut up!

A date gone wrong. Well, it happens.

You invite him to wine,
he interprets it as an invitation to bed

and starts stripping right away.

But he touches you too intimately
and too soon.

You don't like it, you get defensive.
A quarrel breaks out.

You know where the gun is kept. And bang!

- What is it?
- But I don't drink alcohol. Not at all.

- You?!
- Really, he doesn't drink.

- Stop lying.
- He's not lying.

You're not a very good Muslim,
Khaled, are you?

- Stop it, Karel.
- Karel?

Karel Beran is in Kambur, Czech Radio.

- Seventeen hundred miles from here.
- Kája, you've gone crazy!

No, I was only madly in love,
little girl. With you.

All my professional life of an anonymous
star has been nothing but hard,

unappreciated toil.

The only thing that kept
me alive was having

someone I can at least talk to about it,

someone who watches my back.
But now you stabbed me from behind.

One thousand wrongs, dear little girl,

but only one of them is always
the last drop.

I'm not taking any more shit. Get ready!

- Me?
- Yes, you!

- What?
- He wants to kill you.

You, come here.

What's he saying?

The government has declared
a state of emergency.

- Wait a minute. They killed the Emir!
- What?!

- It's a revolution!
- Fuck!

- A revolution!
- What are you gonna do now?

- Go inside.
- What?

- Move it.
- Karel, stop it!

- This is a restriction on freedom!
- Karel!

This is insane. I'll call the police.

Yeah? With what?
Your phone's in the hallway.

- Karel! Stop it!
- Move aside!

You come in here to cuckold me
and you even want to call the filth on me?

And you're so fucking close to each
other again!

- Leave me alone!
- Stop it!

Karel!

Bloody hell.

Karel!

You bastard...

Get out!

Yes?

Karel? Hope you're not sleeping?
We already have it on Twitter.

- Can you send me something?
- Any idiot can write a post.

I'm visiting my sources. If you want
world-class coverage, I need some time.

- It's a bit tough out there, huh?
- You bet.

- I'll have a coffee, please.
- Not as comfy as your Vinohrady office.

There're too many guns
among people to my taste.

And two sugars. I have an idea.

And a piece of pie.
Live reports every 30 minutes.

Are you crazy? I'm the only one here.

The director's obsessed with ratings and
I have a reporter in an explosive area.

So I guess it's clear, isn't it?
We managed that in Yugoslavia, didn't we?

Yeah, but there were two of us there.
It's easy to say such a thing from Prague.

Don't let anyone leave,
we're gonna need every single hand.

I don't give a shit about recognition.

You kept
the Golden Mic award for yourself anyway.

It's true, no shit.

Your Vera once admitted
using it for tendering meat.

Okay, let's start on the hour. Bye.

This is where he was sitting,
that bastard!

He's totally screwed.

- Do you think he'd really do it?
- Kill you, you mean?

- Yeah.
- Look at this door. It was a paperweight.

It almost hit me. And just because
he found a cinema ticket in the bin.

I was there with my female colleague,
Lucie Výborná.

He's simply convinced
that what he sees is true.

He's constantly at war,
even here in Vinohrady.

So he really thinks
that you and I are lovers?

- Yeah.
- But that's absurd, isn't it?

In his eyes it's the objective truth.

Oh, what a great time to have a breakdown!
Really?!

Jesus, stop wailing,
kick the door in instead!

He understands only brute force anyway.

Come on! Go for it!

My mother and brother are out there,
you see?

There's a revolution in my country!

- Do you even get it?!
- Yes, I do.

But he's got it all figured out, you see,
that's just how he is.

He's blessed
and we're just trudging along.

- That really pisses me off, too.
- But it's actually your fault.

- Mine?
- Yeah.

- How come?
- We could have...

You invited me to your home
for a lesson with a bottle of wine!

Of course, so it's my fault.

Bloody hell, open up!

Yes, I'm ready.

- Come here!
- What is it?

Yes, I understand. After the song.

Yes, you can hear the shots.

Three bullets have just hit
the wall close by.

And another shattered a window pane.

The trucks crossing the road
are spilling over with wannabe gunmen.

The sound of loose sheet metal
on old vehicles reminds one

of dozens of bouncing lids
on boiling pots.

It sounds like an ominous message
from religious militias

to the secular regime of Emir Rand VI.

Brothers, hold on!

For Czech Radio, Karel Beran, Kambur.

Yes!

Do you actually understand
that there is a revolution there?

Cool.

Source, source, source, source
Source, source, source, source

Brava, breve, brivo
Brava, breve, brivo

You have all the trump cards of youth
And a clear pair of hands

It's all up to you now
What kind of game you choose

You must stand by your truth
You must stand by your truth...

Come on.

You must stand by your truth
You must stay...

Bravo, bravo, bravo
You have to...

- Are you alright, teacher?
- Don't be cheeky, okay?

Bravo, breve, brivo
Bravo, breve, brivo

I've got all the trumps of youth!

Aren't you supposed to be
in the auditorium already?

I don't want to do the choreography,
my stitches hurt.

- But you will sing, I hope.
- Yeah, I will. Stand up!

Good afternoon.

CHOCOLATE, MY LIFE

I really appreciate the fact
that on this momentous day

when we celebrate 160 years
since the founding of our school,

a representative of its main benefactor,
Mrs. Jana Černá,

had found some time for us
in her busy schedule.

I hope you enjoy her life story,

which we decided to call
"Chocolate, My Life."

And it should also inspire you to ask
a few questions.

- Alright.
- Please.

Hello again, I took the liberty of
bringing a few things with me.

Not to bribe you into listening to me,

but in order to show you
something we produce.

So please, help yourselves.

Questions? Yes, please.

I'm sorry, but everything that
Kassandra produces contains palm oil.

Well, I'd just like to point out

that Mrs. Černá is not here as
a representative of Kassandra,

but of its foundation,
the sponsor of our school.

It's okay,
children are naturally inquisitive.

So feel free to ask.
I'll answer all your questions.

Yes, please.

I'd like to know why her foundation
only supports our school,

because we all know
that her son studies here, too.

Well, we're here because of chocolate,
so we could ask Mrs. Černá

what brought her to sweets in general,
for example.

But you said we could ask any questions.

- Of course.
- Sure.

Yes, please.

It says here that you took over
the foundation

only after you were dismissed

from the position of Kassandra's CFO
due to repeated bossing.

Excuse me?

Are children really allowed
to use their mobiles at school?

Not during lessons, naturally,
but when there's a meeting...

- And they say that your employees...
- That you yelled at them.

Indiscriminately.

You know,
these are very complicated issues.

No, it's not that complicated.

Seven employees testified

before the internal committee established
by the supervisory body of the company.

Please.

And everyone's accounts of your behavior

towards subordinates were
found to be relevant.

You simply can't understand it all yet.

But one day you'll find out

that there's always more than one truth.

There is only one truth.

It is backed by authorized facts,
edited articles

and professional editorial staff
drawing from reputable sources.

- That's why we have public media.
- You're wrong, girl.

- End this, at once!
- Okay.

Come and see me in the office later.

I think Mrs. Černá
deserves a round of applause.

I don't get it.
We give you money, but for what?!

- To bring up arrogant children?
- You know, today's kids are a bit...

But you're a school, aren't you?
You have to keep track of things!

We've lost control of them.
You never know who's telling them what.

But you have to teach them.

So their teachers need to know
what's going on, too.

All the cars here now
seem to speak a peculiar honking tongue

communicating various facts
that we are not privy to.

We can only guess.
Nothing but victory is accepted today.

But that doesn't change the fact that

everyone's afraid of
what's coming once it gets dark.

Meanwhile, the government fleet
looks like a sleeping giant.

For Czech Radio, Karel Beran, Kambur.

Make room for him in all the news.

And from 3 p.m. onward,
he'll report life every 30 minutes.

- Yes, I can hear you.
- Karel, it was great.

Really?
Don't be silly, we're pros after all.

Once you have a story,
you just keep your eyes open.

- I need to talk to someone local.
- What, you mean an interview?

Someone from the government.

Look, I'll try,
but I can't promise anything.

Listen, Luděk, I'm sorry,
but I think you still don't get it.

There's some real shooting
going on around here!

- Karel?
- No worries, they didn't hit me this time.

Over and out.

- Karel is here!
- Mr. Beran, I can't hold on anymore.

- Do you mind?
- Don't let anyone see you.

Nobody knows me anyway.

You're gonna be in serious trouble
for this.

You can't keep me locked in here.

Take your shoes off!

Come on!

You're a Nazi!

Karel, I'm telling you again and again,
we're not having an affair.

- We were just studying.
- So why was his shirt unbuttoned?

Because he's all thumbs
and can't even open a bottle.

Don't you know them?
You live there, don't you?

Enough! Mr. Beran, I swear to you,

never in my life would I touch your wife!

- What do you mean by that?
- What do you mean by that?

I'll tell everyone what's going on
in here. That you're falsifying reality...

And what's it to you?
Let me tell you something, too.

I'm sure you know what they do
to adulterers in your country.

But I have good news for you.
It's gonna be rock-free here.

You will enjoy
the benefits of civilization.

- Can I pray?
- Karel,

- I love you, only you.
- You don't love me, you lie to me.

You would never lie to your listeners,
would you?

And you love them, too.

- Did you kiss?
- No.

- Yeah.
- Don't lie! What?

- Once.
- What once?

- We kissed once.
- There we go.

- Ouch! My leg!
- Let me tell you something.

I'm so looking forward to you getting
20 years for first-degree murder.

And when, or rather "if,"
they let you out,

you'll be a horrible, dried-up old hag
with all your teeth punched out.

What kind of kiss was that?

It was after I understood the
Arabic pluperfect tense.

I don't care about why, but where!
On the cheek, the mouth, or the back?

On the lips.

Using the tongue?

Tongues and languages are related, so yes.

You pig!

How do you say
"my sincere condolences" in Arabic?

So I can say it
to your bereaved relatives in Kambur.

Write it in Latin script for me.

I'm going to sign off.
Put your shoes on, I'll need you later.

Bastard!

I got it in the neck from the head.

He knew it was my class right away.
Kadlecová and co.

The children just expressed their opinion.
And that woman was talking nonsense.

It wasn't their opinion,
they just read it from their mobiles.

Now the school will lose money,
Kassandra won't give us a single crown.

You're so pale.

It's just those stitches.

- Mom, what are you doing here?
- I've come for the concert.

Don't mind me. I was just
looking for a painter for your room.

I chose a white coffee shade,
I'm sure you'll like it.

Hm. Okay then, come on. Take a seat.

- Good luck, children.
- Thank you.

Hold it for me, please.

Thank you, Alžbětka. Thank you.

As part of our school's celebration today,
we will now listen to Comenius,

a choir made up of teachers
and friends of the school.

Please.

You have all the trump cards of youth
And a clear pair of hands

It's all up to you now
What kind of game you choose

You must stand up by your truth

You must stand by your truth

You must stand by your truth
You must stand by your truth

You know how much it costs
You know what you want

You've dealt with compromise
And forgotten a few times

That you must stand by your truth
You must stand by your truth

You must stand by your truth
You must stand by your truth

Your son honors his father
And you instill in him

The motto you knew so well
In the days when you were young

You have all the trump cards of youth
And a clear pair of hands

It's all up to you now
What kind of game you choose

You must stand by your truth
You must stand by your truth

You must stand by your truth
You must stand by your truth

Meanwhile, the government fleet
looks like a sleeping giant.

Karel Beran, Czech Radio, Kambur.

Faking the explosion of
an ammunition depot

using a rubbish bin is absolutely
brilliant.

He's a psychopath.

- I have to phone the radio.
- You've got a phone?

What? You've got a phone?!

Why didn't you say so?

Tell them he's holding us here.
With a weapon.

- Hana.
- Tell her.

Hello. Is the boss in there?

Yes, get him, please.

- Luděk, what do you think?
- Tell them he's home.

What?

He's a star, yes, it's unbelievable.
Where did all those people come from?

We've never had as many.
I'm really proud of him, sure.

No, I only wanted to know the numbers.
It's incredible.

- Sure, I'm opening a bottle as well.
- What?

I know, I'm almost ready. What time is it?

Yeah, I'm practically on my way.

Okay, see you later.
Enjoy the rest of the evening. Bye.

- Marta, why didn't you tell him?
- They're going completely mad there.

- You've gone mad!
- They've got 150,000 followers on Twitter!

We've never had that before!

And you're going to jail
for 20 years after he kills me.

The boss was really touched, it's unreal.

Marta, give me the phone.

Calm down, okay?

- Calm down, my little Arab friend.
- Your phone!

Give me the phone! He has a gun!

He wants to kill me, you know?

You're an accomplice to a crime now.
Give it here!

Karel!

What is this!? Come here.

- Read this out into the microphone for me.
- In Czech?

In Arabic!

"An intervention
will probably be necessary.

- We request..."
- Concentrate.

"...that the international community
does not

meddle in the internal affairs..."

What? "...of our country.
We must neutralize the gangs of bandits

and religious fanatics and restore order."

- I'll never read that out!
- You will.

No, they aren't any gangs of bandits.
I support the revolution myself.

But now you'll be
the interior minister who

gives an interview to a Czech journalist.

Did you know you have 150 thousand shares?

Yes.
They've phoned me from the TV as well.

And you'll see what happens
after your teacher here speaks out.

- Darling, I have to go to the studio.
- No, you'll stay here!

Karel, don't be stupid.
The health minister's waiting for me.

If I don't go, it'll be a huge problem.
And it'd be too obvious.

- I appeal to your professional solidarity.
- You'll tell them!

Tell them what?

- That you want to kill him?
- No, that I'm in Prague.

Why would I do that?
I love those reports of yours!

- Really?
- Of course.

It's as if I was a painter wishing to chop
the Mona Lisa to bits.

It'd be against nature.

- Marta, don't leave me here with him.
- No worries, I'll come back later.

- Hang on, you really mean it?
- Of course.

Then go.

And break a leg.

- Come back, please.
- Read it out. In Arabic!

- I must rewrite it.
- Rewrite it?

You can't speak Arabic or what?

- You are a fraud, Mr. Beran.
- And you are the interior minister now.

How do you say:
"Could you tell Czech Radio

why you declared a state of emergency"?

Write it in Latin script.
And hurry, we're live in five minutes.

Legibly.

Can I at least say "opposition"
instead of "gangsters"?

You can.
I'll translate it as "gangsters" anyway.

How could you possible receive
the Golden Microphone

for objective reporting
and an ethical approach to reality?

That was for really good reports.
Because I had enough time for them.

Thirty seconds, come on.
But this'll get a huge audience.

Nuts!

Let's go!

I'm trying to catch the interior minister,

who's running away through
the rear entrance

to the Emir's palace where
an extraordinary meeting is taking place.

You can hear dozens of typewriters.
Emir's palace is truly stunning.

You can hear police whistles all around.

The minister says something like this:

"An intervention
will probably be necessary.

We request that
the international community

does not meddle
in the internal affairs of our country.

We must neutralize the gangs of bandits
and religious fanatics

and restore order."

We'll report again from
Kambur in half an hour.

- Karel Beran, Czech Radio, Kambur.
- Vile Western...

- What?
- Vile Western...

Vile Western mediocracy, Mr. Beran!
You have the devil in you.

Maybe I do a bit indeed,
but it's interesting

that the devil is chiefly in the detail.
Do you understand?

Don't answer it!

What if it's my family?

Okay.

- The Emir is alive.
- What?

It was a lie to keep us all calm.

He's fled the country.

Do they know where he's gone?

- He's at the embassy in Prague.
- No way!

Well, it sounds logical.
After all, he studied here.

Shall we have a shot?

I am a Muslim.

I do not drink.

The Children of the Revolution
want me to be

the one to rid our country
of Emir Rand VI.

We have our people at the embassy,
they'll get me to him.

I'll do it with your gun.

I'm really sorry, but you're no terrorist.

I never thought I'd say it,
but you are a journalist, after all.

So why don't I have a contract?

Because I'm an Arab? A foreigner?

I can't betray them.
I grew up with these people.

Besides,
what do you even know about our country?

For you, the Emir is an ally.

- A cheap petrol station.
- And he also has nuclear weapons.

But for us at home in Kambur,
he's a dictator.

Listen, you live here now,
so you have to follow the local rules.

What rules?

The rules of lying,
drinking and promiscuity?

I don't even understand where all
that arrogance

and feeling of superiority comes from.

Listen, Khaled.
If you get access to the Emir,

don't shoot him dead, just talk to him.

And then you'll get a contract
anywhere in the world.

You'll be even more famous than me.

Give me the gun.
Look, what's done is done.

Take the gear and reach for the stars.

Step back!

Khaled?

Are you broadcasting?

Brut! Hello.

Hi.

- Hello, Mom.
- Hi.

Klára was a bit out of sorts.
Is something up with her?

She got raked over the coals
by the director.

Why?

Basically because her students
told the truth.

That's what I keep saying,
it's dangerous to speak the truth.

Only scientists
and the radio can afford to do that.

Yeah.

Shouldn't I go to A&E with that?

Come on, to see a mediocre doctor?

You're such an expert
and you can't even bandage a wound?

Have you got a bandage? I've run out.

I'll have a look.

I've never met anyone
who could lie like you, Mr. Beran.

Thank you, Khaled.

I have to go now.

Khaled!

Mr. Beran, I wanted to ask you
if you had a piece of sterile bandage?

My boy needs his wound dressed again

and I thought that since
you're always in the midst of fighting,

you must have a first aid box.

- And where's Marta?
- Marta's on air.

Jesus! Alright, I have to go now.

- Hi! They've arrived already.
- Okay.

CZECH RADIO

- Mrs. Marta!
- Hello.

I'm delighted to see you.
A little joke for good luck.

- Ow.
- You'll manage.

Two surgeons are talking
and one says to the other:

"So there I am operating on him,
and suddenly I see that

I'm doing an autopsy!"

That's a good one.

- Today, Marta Havlíčková...
- Hello! I'm really sorry.

...invited Minister for Health
Jakub Dohnal

and Associate Professor Fryderyk Zuzka
from Gothenburg University,

author of a study on implants
in the human body,

which was published in the prestigious
American journal Nature last year.

Right.

Almost ready.

Today, we will discuss
disinformation chain e-mails

dissuading people from
scheduled operations in hospitals,

as tracking chips are allegedly
inserted in patient's bodies there.

Why do you call them
"disinformation chain emails"?

I can't think of a single reason to
doubt the veracity of this information.

What do you mean by that?

Thousands of people have a chip
in their body without being aware of it.

They're not aware of it?
And who is aware of it?

Intelligence services
in individual countries, for instance.

Minister, please.

Someone would surely have
to know something

about such an agreement between hospitals
and secret services.

You don't have to know anything,

you're only a politician elected
for a fixed period of time.

But this is
a supranational parallel system, which,

to put it bluntly, moves things forward.
And what's the trick?

That the process
isn't burdened by bureaucracy.

It's fast and flexible,
because it uses the aforementioned

unawareness of those involved.

But that would surely be illegal.

It is illegal under the law as it stands,
but that doesn't mean that it's bad.

Let's not think of it as evil -
these things are done

for the good of us all, for our safety.

So how would it actually happen?

I'll be most happy to tell you how
it happens.

A chip is inserted into the body during

a banal operation
without the knowledge of patients.

And as soon as the research is over,
patients are contacted,

the chip is removed and they receive
a very interesting sum of compensation.

So the patients don't know about
it beforehand.

If they did,
they wouldn't behave naturally.

And that would obviously distort
the whole survey.

The implant shows not only their position,

but also monitors
the patient's current condition.

It records physiological changes,

whether the subject is scared
or angry; what they are feeling.

These are truly authentic data that
are not distorted by awareness.

And as a scientist,
I can say that such data

are crucial for research and progress.

But someone would have to know about that,
especially all of us at the Ministry.

As I say,
this matter far exceeds your remit.

These chain e-mails are simply a lapse,
a stupid leak of information.

A doctor must have failed to comply with

the contractual obligation to
confidentiality

and basically impaired
our scientific quest for the truth.

But a sophisticated
parallel system like that

in a democratic country?
That's surely impossible, isn't it?

Marta,
does the name Hans Blix ring a bell?

Yes, he was the Swedish foreign minister.

For a while, yes. But he was mainly known
for working for the UN

and leading their inspections looking
for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

In his closing report he stated
that no weapons had be found,

but that did not mean
that there were not any.

As we know,
this was followed by an invasion

and a massive geopolitical crisis

the consequences of which
we're still feeling today.

But when Blix was asked, many years later,
if he had nightmares

because he was unable to avert
the invasion,

- do you know what he answered?
- No, I don't. Please tell us.

"What more could I have done"?

"How can you prove
that something doesn't exist"?

Maybe there's a mouse in this studio.
I can't see it, I can't hear it,

I have no evidence that it is here.

But does that really mean
that the mouse is not here?

And how does that relate to our issue?

On a fundamental level.

The fact that I don't have proof
of the existence of something

doesn't mean that I have proof
of its non-existence.

- Minister, do you have anything to say?
- No.

Good. So that'll be all, I suppose.

I would like to thank Minister Dohnal,
Professor Zuzka

and say goodbye to our listeners.

I'm looking forward to you again next week
in my program-me "Pros and Cons."

- So this was today's...
- You were amazing. Thank you, Minister.

- It was a pleasure.
- ...in our podcast...

What was the meaning of that?

I'm so sorry.
I don't know, people are simply mad.

I like listening to smart people.

I'm going to mark the tests.

- What was the subject matter?
- The abdomen.

Tummy.

It's a lovely part.

Marta? Come here, please.

Come here.

- Karel?
- What was that?

- You were totally unprepared.
- He was talking nonsense.

Perhaps, but it sounded like the truth.

If you want to refute nonsense,
you have to have arguments, clear facts.

Do you know the story of Hans Blix?
You don't.

- And you do?
- But I don't do interviews, do I?

He was extremely persuasive.
And do you know why?

Because he believed his own words.
And you weren't able to fight back.

Alright. But if you knew what's going on
at my home...

- Marta.
- Can I say something?

We all have families. And problems.
Let me tell you what's really crazy.

That you were an active participant in a
disinformation campaign

on behalf of Czech Radio!

- Wait. You can't be serious.
- I'm sorry.

- Luděk, come on.
- Hi.

Well, if the Czech News Agency says so,
it's probably true, isn't it?

Switch it on.

I'm trying to catch the interior minister,
who's running away

through the rear entrance to
the Emir's palace

where an extraordinary meeting
is taking place.

You can hear dozens of typewriters.
Emir's palace is truly stunning.

This is journalism. Reuters wants it, too.

And Deutsche Welle.

Luděk,
you must be able to tell that Karel...

What else is there to say? A masterpiece.

Gazeta Wyborcza.

Bloody hell.

He speaks five languages
and he can't tell a microwave from a tank.

Marta, that Karel of yours is a real hero!

Fine, so now I'll tell you a joke, okay?

Karel isn't in Kambur at all,
he's reporting live from our kitchen.

And taking the piss out of all of you.

You know what? I like you a lot,
but you're really bad at telling jokes.

Say hello to Karel and tell him we're
all keeping our fingers crossed for him.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- Hi, Klára.
- Have you told her yet?

- Of course.
- So let me speak to her.

- Who are you talking to?
- To Klára, mother.

I can't,
I'm marking the exams at the moment.

Would you believe that they
don't even know where the pancreas is?

Don't change the subject!
You know what? I'm coming.

We'll sort it once and for all.

Karel.

That went well, didn't it?

We had big plans
about journeying to the Orient together,

and you put this white rag between us.
Was it worth it?

Karel, they'll lock you up!

Leave the hair alone, I'll use it
for the fire on Savior Square.

- Did you kill him?
- No. I let him go.

But before that I shaved his head
to humiliate him.

Without his hair he looks like
an imbecile.

You really are an idiot!

- What if he goes to the police?
- To turn himself in?

He wants to kill the Emir.

- What?
- The Emir is here at the embassy.

And Khaled wants to kill him on the
orders of the Children of the Revolution.

- I don't understand. Kill him how?
- He took my gun. So we're in it together.

You're not, you're a thousand miles away,
in Kambur.

But now they'll think
it was me who gave him the gun.

Logically,
since the two of you are lovers.

- That's a well-known fact.
- How is it known?!

Look, the Emir seems to be still alive.
They're not saying anything.

Poor Khaled.

Yeah, poor fella.
I realized the same thing today as well.

We always think that they're arrogant,

strange, overconfident and
overbearing people from the Orient,

but they lead such terrible lives.

There's no comparison
with the way we live. We're so pampered.

Do you know how horrible it is there?

We've never lived through
anything like that.

And I realized that Ahmed's the same.

He's a lazy, arrogant bastard in my eyes

who doesn't want to do anything,

but today it dawned on me
how terrible his life is.

Something awful happened
to me this morning.

Some idiots shot a bird
and it fell in our swimming pool.

What?

When Ahmed took it out with his net,
I suddenly became sad.

Then I turn round and the exact same bird
is sitting on the fence close by.

Probably the female, waiting for her mate.

Well, that's really sad.

A bird flies along, doesn't know
shit about any revolution,

and then suddenly, boom!

There's a very true Arabic saying:
"Death awaits us in the midst of life."

And suddenly I felt so very sad.

- Kája.
- And I thought of you, really.

I realised that it's actually a miracle
we even met.

- You're so...
- And that we're not spending any time

together at all.

That we're both on our own.
And suddenly I was so awfully sad.

You're such a softie.

So I wanted to
phone you to make myself happy.

- And the Arab answered it.
- But usually it's me who calls you.

Well, but today it was me who did so.

Marta, I just want one thing.

Only one single thing.

- Marta...
- What?

- I have to do it. Come, sit down.
- Karel!

- Sit.
- Stop it!

Wait, I've got...

- Hang on.
- Wait, wait. Yes, here.

- Marta...
- Yes?

Tell me, Marta...

Did you sleep with that nobody?

Listen, if you swear
on your mother's health, I'll believe you.

I should swear on my mom's health when

she's going for
a thyroid operation next week?

Yeah, and quickly. Now.

Fine, Karel,
I'll tell you, even without any oath.

- Go ahead.
- Sit down.

Kája, while you were in Kambur,

all that happened in this flat

was constant shagging.

I was cuckolding you the whole time.

I'm sorry,
but there was so much fucking here.

On this couch here.
It was mind-blowing, what a dick!

Spunk everywhere.
Careful, maybe it's still damp there.

Karel, there were such huge orgies here.

And all that licking.

Blowjobs. I got my brains fucked out.

Except you were still
a famous editor, weren't you?

A world-class reporter.
But unfortunately, now you're

just a cuckold, aren't you?
Kája, it's so sad.

And do you know what I'll do now?

I'll go to your boss and tell him that
you're making fake news here in Vinohrady.

- You won't do that.
- See if I don't.

- No.
- But before I do that, I'll fuck him, too.

- No, you won't.
- I will, and give him a blow-job.

- No!
- Yes! I'm on my way.

- Please, no!
- I'm going to phone him. Oh! Oh!

No! Get away from me! You're so unclean.

- Karel, can you hear me?
- Too right I am!

Night is coming. And with it fear.

As Karel Kryl sings in his song,
this night will not be a short one,

and during it, to everyone's dismay,
people will die.

No!

Oh, God, Karel, what happened?

A house has just collapsed. Yes, a house.

It evidently could withstand

all the transporters and tanks
driving past no longer.

I think I'm slightly injured.
One of the tanks caught part of my leg.

But it'll be fine,
everything will be fine again.

Karel Beran, Czech Radio, Kambur.

- Yes.
- Karel, this is really big.

Bigger than you think.

85 percent of all people
who listen to the radio!

This is the first time since Nagano.

Kája, I'm sending you a support team,
they'll be on the first plane.

No, don't do that, that's not a good idea!

You know I'm a solitary person,
I need to work alone.

No, Luděk, don't do it, please.

- What's going on?
- They're sending me a support team.

- Here?
- Not here, there!

Where they'll only find that lazy
piece of shit Ahmed pissing into my pool!

Hurry up, then!
You have to catch the first plane.

Impossible!
They will be taking it, tomorrow morning!

- Why are you limping?
- I got run over by a tank.

Screw this. I'm dead tired.

Tramping around for days in that
horrible heat with my chronic sun eczema.

Asking questions
that I don't get answers for,

and all the listeners take away from it
is this:

"Finally! At least there's one place
where they're worse off than us here!”

- Fuck that.
- I'll make potato pancakes.

Good.

- Darling?
- Yes?

- I was joking about the orgies.
- Jesus, I know that.

I didn't consider it possible
even for even a second.

You're such a silly-billy, really.

So I won't make potato pancakes.
You must leave.

I have a plan.

Where have you been?
The boss is looking for you.

- Where is he?
- In there.

Do you understand?

Khaled,
why aren't you picking up the phone?

I've been trying to get hold of you
for two hours.

- I know where the Emir is.
- What?

- He's hiding in Prague.
- How did you find out?

I've got an interview with him.
Twenty minutes. Exclusive.

How did you...

- How the hell did you get to him?
- I know a few people.

We seem to be lucky these days.
Now you've convinced me, Khaled.

A colleague's booking your flight as
we speak.

You're off to Kambur tomorrow
to help Karel.

It's probably going to escalate there.
And I'll give you a cameraman to help.

Well...

I expect Karel will have a senior
position here in Prague later this year.

He's a great reporter, no doubt about it,

but he represents the
rather outdated radio of yesteryear.

In a volatile place like that I need
someone who's dynamic

and versed in social media.
Khaled has an interview with the Emir.

Prepare an announcement for midnight,
we'll kick off at 7:50 a.m.

- For all the stations?
- Of course, naturally.

- Okay.
- May I, Khaled?

Yes.

"Love has no other wish
but to be fulfilled." Nice.

Khalil Gibran, a great poet.
That's from "The Prophet," isn't it?

- Yes.
- I prefer "Broken Wings."

- You're reading it in the original?
- Obviously.

Mr. Brych, can I stay in Prague?

No, you can't.
The flight ticket's been bought already.

Under cover of darkness the kidnappers
forced us to get in a van.

They're taking us God only knows where.

They'll probably want ransom.

The van's making its way through
thick bushes.

I'm losing control of the situation.

But the worst thing is that

I don't know if
I'll be able to report again,

I'm losing the signal.

- I'm out of it!
- And now switch off your mobile.

And take out the SIM so
they can't locate you.

You're so... come here.

You're such a spy!

I really have no idea
what's making me help you.

Me, who specializes in disinformation!

It's obvious. You're doing it out of love.

How can you be so sure?

It's a well-known fact.
Try to prove me wrong, then.

According to the latest reports,
Karel Beran was kidnapped

in Kambur tonight, together
with several other foreign reporters.

Let's listen to his last report.

KAREL BERAN KIDNAPPED IN KAMBUR

Under cover of darkness the kidnappers
forced us to get in a van.

They're taking us God only knows where.

They'll probably want ransom.

The van's making its way through
thick bushes.

I'm losing control of the situation.

But the worst thing is that

I don't know if
I'll be able to report again,

I'm losing the signal.

The subsequent fate of Karel Beran
remains unknown.

and we have also been unable
to contact the Czech embassy.

We have asked the head of the

News department of Czech Radio,
Mr. Luděk Brych, for a statement.

Hello. Thank you.
We're shocked, uncertain and full of fear.

We've contacted the embassy
and all the crews

that were in contact with
Karel, but no-one knows anything.

Now, we can only rely

on Karel's huge life experience
and knowledge of local conditions.

We are prepared
for all possible scenarios.

We're thinking about him a lot.

Thank you. And now I welcome to the studio
editor-in-chief, media expert

and founder of the "Claptrap and
Politics" podcast, Mr. Bohumil Pečinka.

- Hello.
- Hello.

I'd like a brief comment from you, too.

What the head of the news section
has just said is highly non-standard.

The fact that someone as experienced
as Karel Beran

goes to a danger zone and gets captured

is either criminal lack of caution,

which I sort of rule out because
I know him,

or incredible naivety,

which would be quite outrageous

in the case of such
an experienced reporter.

- Alright, thank you.
- Bloody theorist!

He's never been there in his life!

He knows sod all about it!
I would never make a mistake like that!

- I know every street, every rock there.
- That's only his opinion.

Come on, opinions are like assholes.
Everybody's got one!

I know what I'll do.

- I'll go on air again.
- No, you won't!

I won't be scandalized
by an armchair theorist

who knows fuck all about it!

He's making me out
to be some sort of tourist

who gets lost two blocks from the square!

If you do that,
you'll be the biggest moron ever!

- Karel!
- Stop following me all the time.

Karel! You're alive?

Thank God.

Well, I'm not out of the woods yet,
but I've managed to run away.

You know that I know my way around here.
I know every corner here,

every rock, every street,
every water cistern.

Only an idiot like Pečinka can say
I'm taking naïve risks.

Listen, if you want me to go on air,
I can. Right now.

- I need to pee!
- Was that a female voice?

There are two of us.

There's a journalist with me,
an English woman.

She's injured.

I've been carrying her on my back
the whole time. She's wailing terribly.

What are you on about?

That ugly little thing's starting to faint
again, I'll be in touch later. Bye.

Marta! You're a genius, it'll be a hit!

- What?
- You'll be a star.

Forget it!

You've always wanted to act
in the theater.

- But not with you.
- Listen, you can use your Arabic!

You have repeatedly accused me
of adultery. I won't forget that.

Thanks to you,
this country can experience

what Woody Allen called
the "golden age of radio."

- Christ, that's so cheap.
- If you do it for me, I'll marry you.

I swear, really. Believe me!
Do it for me, it'll be fun!

Marta, I'll marry you!

- Marta, please!
- You're lying.

Listen! An exclusive interview
with Emir Rand IV coming up!

No way! Khaled's a top bloke!

- I thought you couldn't stand him.
- What are you on about?

I'm his role model.

At five minutes to the hour.

If you want to broadcast, let's do it now.

Marta!

Karel's alive.

Karel's alive. You must be kidding!

According to the latest information,
Karel Beran managed to escape his captors.

He's accompanied by a wounded woman,
an English-speaking journalist.

And now some truly breaking news!

Karel Beran's just established
a connection with our studio.

- Karel, can you hear me?
- Be quiet!

I'm very glad to be able to talk
to our audience at home.

We managed to use

a steering column failure of one
of the cars

and disappear into the darkness
in the ensuing confusion.

We are walking through
an unknown landscape.

There's a journalist with me
from an independent TV station.

She's badly injured, she scratched herself
on a poisonous giant cactus.

Her motor abilities are badly disturbed
and she's delirious.

Now we can see a caravan of
Bedouins in front of us.

The journalist is trying
to communicate with them.

In their mother tongue.

Well, that's very nice.

Love wants nothing else
but to be fulfilled.

As the famous poet says.

We're moving on, step by step.

The singing of cicadas
in the gathering darkness

mixes with the sound of bat wings.

A desert storm is coming.

Moving on is getting harder and harder.

We're doing our best to dig out the
remnants of physical strength deep within.

As you can hear yourselves,
the situation is still very dramatic.

We'll probably have to spend
the night here, but we're very thirsty.

As well as tremendously lucky,

as we suddenly find ourselves
at a water reservoir for desert animals.

You can hear the journalist
drinking wildly.

Yes, I'll have a sip, too.

Drink!

Mary is indeed a very brave girl.

Mary's just whispering in my ear

to give her the last cube
of grape sugar that I have in my pocket.

Khaled! You're a hero!

The interview with the Emir,
how wonderful!

- Karel said so too.
- I want to thank him. Where is he?

I would have killed somebody otherwise.
I'd have a life on my conscience.

Watch out, something's going on.

Apparently, a wounded soldier has just
staggered into our impromptu camp.

His phone's ringing.

That's good news.
There's a mobile signal here,

so civilization must be nearby.

The soldier says
he was wounded in a street fight.

He looks terrible.

With his haggard face
and completely burnt head.

He's shivering with cold.
We need to give him some clothes at once!

Yeah!

What is it?

That was my brother.

The Children of the Revolution
have pronounced a death sentence on me

for disobeying their order.

- They're gonna kill me.
- No worries. Hands up.

Fine. Good.

There you go. Here.

Klára, what are you doing here?
It's not Wednesday today

and it's too late for the cinema.

He's not feeling well.

I'm taking him to hospital
for wound dressing.

No, doctors can't be trusted!

- Mrs. Kárná, I am taking him there!
- No way!

- Did Vojta talk to you about the flat?
- What flat?

Where are you?

Where is it?

Is it in there? Have a look!

Bring a magnet!

- A magnet?!
- Magnet.

Find it, it's somewhere in there!

We're doing our best to ignore
the presence of desert snakes

and their symptomatic rattling.

It's as if they were "sneakily"
saying to each other:

"We have caught our prey."

Stop fighting!

Karel!

Did they kill him?!

- Put some music on.
- Oh, no!

What happened?

You killed him! Karel!

You idiot, we were engaged to be married!

- Kája!
- What happened?

- Kája!
- He took a shot at me.

I'm sorry.

Khaled!

- Khaled! Oh, my God, Khaled!
- Yes, of course.

He nearly kills me, but we're going to
pity poor little Khaled now!

Perfect shot, though.
I won't make any more calls with it.

The broadcast is over.
At least we'll have some peace and quiet.

- What about the radio?
- Turn it on, Marta.

Karel Beran, our dear colleague,
died today.

- Wait, leave it!
- This is a song in his honour...

Let's have a drink, we deserve it.
We had a rough day.

- But I still don't drink.
- A small drop won't kill you.

That's true.

Doesn't matter if it's alcohol
or the Children of the Revolution.

Let me tell you something.
Nobody can kill you now.

Even if they kill you a hundred times,
you'll be immortal forever, just like me.

Your voice will be archived
and anyone will be able to listen to it.

- I don't want to be immortal.
- But you will be, dear boy. Cheers.

Can you hear that?

What?

Come here.

Can you hear the silence?

This is a courtyard, Mr. Beran.

It hasn't been this quiet
since we played the Russians

in the Nagano final.

- Remember?
- No.

- How come you don't?
- Because it wasn't on TV in our country.

Well, it's just as quiet here today.
And do you know why?

Yeah, because it's a courtyard.
It's always quiet.

No, because a reporter has just died.

Karel Beran,

Czech Radio, Kambur.

Try it.

Jesus, it'll be that old hag
from next door again. Kick her out!

- Hide somewhere.
- Close the window!

Marta.

Marta?!

- Hello.
- Marta, what can I say?

Oh, dear...

My condolences.

It's terrible.

We don't want to disturb your grief,
but we felt obligated

to express our condolences before
the whole affair becomes

the subject of media interest.

And also this plaque.

The same one was given to the radio staff
who died in the May Uprising of 1945.

- Thank you very much.
- Karel was a great guy.

And an excellent journalist.
In fact, he proved it even today.

And this is the Golden Microphone,
a commemorative present from my wife.

- Karel deserves it.
- He surely does.

Thank you.

If you wish... do come in.

- After you.
- Come on in!

Come on in!

- Thank you.
- They're coming in!

Yay! Come on in, I'm a bundle of nerves.

Come on in.

Have a seat.

- Khaled? You beat us to it.
- He's helping me with tomorrow.

Marta, don't worry about the funeral.
We spoke to the embassy.

Once the body is found in the desert,
we'll have it transported to Prague

and the radio will cover all the costs,
that goes without saying.

- Thank you.
- We have funds for it.

- Do sit down.
- Thank you.

- Oh, Marta, you've prepared some snacks!
- Yes.

Here you go. And most importantly,

just sit down.

You too, Khaled, sit. Okay.

I'll just put the prize away.

- Sure.
- Thank you.

No, thank you.

Karel, you have to tell them everything!
Or they'll bury you!

Are you insane? Tell them that
I made a fool out of half the country?

Screw that, they'll kick you out anyway.
But at least you'll live!

I think I can hear some voices
in the other room.

It's probably the widow praying
for the deceased.

What widow? He never married her.

True, he didn't.

I didn't know she was religious.

- I can't see a single cross here.
- There's one in the bedroom.

I think.

How could you possibly respect me
after all this?

- Come on.
- Me, who survived

the occupation of Grozny,
Afghanistan, the Maidan Uprising,

kidnapping in the desert of Kambur...

- Come on, you made that one up!
- So what?

I would have behaved exactly the same way.

Let me tell you something.
You're saying I've mystified people.

But aren't there journalists among us
who are so experienced

that even if they can't see something
in person while claiming they can,

they are very close to the truth anyway?

What do you mean?
That you can freely make all that shit up

because you're so experienced?

- Exactly.
- Karel, listen to me.

You promised me something. You did!

We'd be the first couple
to get married using a death certificate!

Which is bullshit and you know it.

So now think about
what you're going to say.

- It really matters to me.
- Give it to me.

- Are you coming with me or not?
- I am, but give it to me!

No! Are you coming with me or not?

Fucking hell.

This is me.

For Czech Radio, Karel Beran, Kambur.

Aha!

- Is that your codec, Khaled?
- Well, um...

No, it's Karel's. It's broken.

I'm so sorry, Marta.

Now it belongs to all of us.

Let's create a memorial room
for Karel in place of the discarded

furniture warehouse. What do you think?

What an excellent idea!

Khaled,
I hear you still don't have a contract.

- I don't.
- We have to remedy that.

You'll fly to Kambur tomorrow to replace
Karel. That's the right thing to do.

- To be honest, I don't think so...
- Stop being so modest.

You know the language,
you have family there,

you know the local conditions.

We can't afford to have
such an explosive area uncovered.

- Marta, may I have some champagne, please?
- Yeah, of course. Hang on.

But what if Karel is still alive?

The body hasn't been found yet, has it?

Didn't you hear the shot
when he was reporting live?

Perhaps it's different for you Muslims,
but in this country, you die of it.

- So do we, in fact.
- Just imagine,

covering Kambur with a native Kamburian!

That's never been done before.
We need to drink to that.

You don't want a glass?

I don't drink.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

We're getting really worldly, aren't we?

Can I have some, too?

Cheers.

- What do you want?
- Is the young lady at home?

I need some disinfectant.

This is not a good time, I'm really sorry.
I don't think you know what happened.

- Mrs. Kárná, Karel is dead.
- And so is Vojta, probably.

I'm sorry?! What happened?

Is that your suitcase, Khaled?

- Come on.
- What happened?

What the hell are you doing?

It's got to be in there somewhere.

That professor of yours confirmed it.

He's an idiot.

Do you remember the farm trip back then?

You have all the trump cards of youth

And your hands are clean

It's all up to you now

What kind of game you choose

You must stand by your truth

You must stand by your truth

You must stand by your truth
You must stand by your truth

You have such a sweet voice.
Don't you want to join our choir?

We're full.

Mr. Beran, I beg you, come out!

Fuck off!

- I can't go to Kambur. They'll kill me!
- Get out!

That Khaled is a bit strange, isn't he?
Doesn't he look a bit nervous to you?

- I think they're having an affair.
- Oh, come on!

Come on?! He's wearing his shirt already!

Poor Karel, it's a good thing
he didn't live to see it. Khaled?

So what about you and Marta?

I saw you at the party,
you were so into each other.

Now that Karel is gone, come clean.
You are having an affair, huh?

Well, you know what?

Yes, we're having an affair.

We really are, we love each other.
And we...

We fuck each other!

All over the place.

We fuck wherever we go.

I fuck her.

And she fucks me back. All the time.

Here, on the bike,
in the radio, everywhere!

I will kill you!

- Hello, Karel!
- Hi.

- What are you doing here?
- I've come to run an errand.

- I can understand that.
- It was a lie!

What an idiot. Alright, come out.

- Jesus, someone's shooting in your flat!
- No, no.

Karel's just using a grinder
with these flappers of sorts.

Okay, and this was a rubbish bin.
You can't believe everything you hear.

- Karel!
- I'm so sorry!

- Can I see it?
- Sure, come on in.

- You made the public media lie.
- But I saved your life.

What? You shot me, you nutter!

It's hardly a mortal wound.

It's mine.

I hope you understand
that none of this actually happened.

So they're not dead?

No.

Hello. This is Marta Havlíčková,
greetings to you all.

Today, I have only one guest
in my "Pros and Cons" program-me.

The hero of the last few days,
Karel Beran,

who, during the Kambur Revolution,
found himself in life-threatening danger.

After the shooting while
he was reporting live,

both the audience and us, the radio staff,

were convinced that
this experienced journalist

became a victim of the rebels.

But luckily, after a few hours,
he got in touch again

and despite having been shot, he survived.

At his own request, Karel Beran
now returned home after several years

of reporting from abroad,
and so we can finally welcome him here.

Hello, Karel. We're glad to have you back.

Hello. Thank you. I'm all yours.

Thank you. So, Karel, where were you shot?

- Me?
- Hmm.

In the leg.
It was just a scratch, fortunately.

Happy to hear that.

And can you now honestly tell us
what really happened?

- What do you mean? Why honestly?
- If you can tell us the whole truth.

You know, after 40 years in journalism

you think that nothing
can really surprise you anymore.

One is sure
that one can handle any situation.

But if you want me
to be perfectly honest...

Well, that would be great.

What...

All the things that happened
to me but a few days ago

actually taught me that all those years
of experience simply don't suffice.

To survive, I was forced to pretend...

and lie.

And I even had to fire
several shots at a man.

- That must have been unpleasant.
- Sure.

But at that moment,

when one faces death, one also realizes

that we're all here just
for a little while.

"Death awaits us in the midst of life."
It's an Arabic saying.

So I'm going to act accordingly.

What do you mean by that?

That I'm about to finally propose to
the woman I love, for instance.

I should have done that ages ago.

And do you think she still wants you?

I don't know.

What do you think?

So tell me, what exactly happened
in the desert of Kambur?

Foreign observers agree that
with the Emir's return to his homeland

followed by the appointment of

a new government,
the revolution in Kambur is over

and that the process of democratization
has now finally begun. For Czech Radio,

Khaled Azri, Kambur.