Original subtitles

Here we are.

This is it.

Pippo, help Mom.

Ivan, how handsome you are!

- He's lovely. - My son's so handsome.

Long live the professor!

Let's take the picture over there.

Matteo, the godfather's got to be in the picture too.

This is nice. Do you like it here, Ivan?

Excuse me. Can you move? We're having a photo taken.

- Get into position. - Mom, come on.

Stand a little closer.

- Where's your husband? - Vito, picture time!

Stand over there.

Ivan, look at that man. Smile.

That will do. Look over here. Smile!

- Toni, give us a speech! - No, forget it.

- Toni, give us a speech! - No, forget it.

Come on. Give us a speech!

- Alright, hold the kid for me. - I'll take him.

- Go for it, professor! - I'll make a speech.

- What can I say? - Go on!

Thank you all for coming here to celebrate our family.

Especially you, Matteo, for standing in as godfather at the last minute.

Just a few words. I don't wanna bore everyone.

Today should be a carefree day,

like it is for Ivan, Daddy and Mommy will take care of everything today.

I'll make sure Ivan has everything he needs.

He'll be a happy baby.

Problems will arise sooner or later.

He'll realize that when he grows up. He'll take some slaps.

He's gotta learn about life too.

My father always said:

.."I gotta teach you and lose you".

"Tonino, I gotta teach you and lose you".

Well done!

I learned a lot of things thanks to slaps.

I can still remember them.

But I gotta say: "Thanks, Dad",

because in receiving so many, I've learned to give them too.

It's important to give them in life too.

Not necessarily to your kids,

..but to assholes who wish us evil! - Well done!

Now have fun, pig out,

wish the baby, me and the whole family well. Best wishes, Ivan!

Best wishes!

- Where's the present? - It's in the car.

I know, we should go and get it.

We'll give it to him when the others do.

What's wrong now?

Nothing, as usual.

ls everything okay?

Everything okay?

Yes, everything's fine.

- Aren't you feeling well? - I'm fine.

I thought as much. You look odd.

Your eyesight's bad.

- What? - Your eyesight's bad.

What's the problem? You don't have to pretend.

What's the problem?

Vito!

Your front entrance.

I couldn't ask you to be godfather!

- I've already told you why. - You'd promised Nicola.

- He didn't show up. So why not me? - See how you are?

Vito, what's up with you?

It would've been an insult to make you the stand-in godfather.

I promised him ten years ago he could be godfather.

My brother-in-law either is or isn't the godfather.

My brother-in-law is no stand-in godfather.

So you chose a stranger instead?

- He said you're friends. - What? I barely know him.

Let's not poison the party over this nonsense.

It's all nonsense to you!

You treat your sister, my wife as though she were a kid of 13!

- Wait! - Answer it!

Where the hell's Nicola?

- Don't offend the professor. - Professor here...

..there, up and down! - Get lost!

- Get lost! - Professor my ass!

What was that?

Who sent them, Marlon Brando?

What did they do to him?

When?

Son of a bitch!

I'll sort him out when I see him.

Where's my car?

Someone's stolen my car!

- What's up? - They stole Vito's car!

Marisa. Hello. Where are you?

Lucky you! No, at home.

Too bad you didn't come.

Don't worry about the car. It was insured.

I'll take care of things on Monday, you won't lose out.

You'll get yourself a brand new one.

Just wait a few days before reporting it.

- Why? - We need time to fix the policy.

I already reported it while you were at the party.

- What the fuck did you say? - I went to the Carabinieri.

I told you not to report it straight away!

Darn it! Anna!

There's nothing I can do about the insurance now.

The fool's reported it!

What do you have to fix? ls the car insured?

Sure, in case of accident.

- What about theft and fire? - You think this is a joke?

- That's why I told you to wait! - And insure it after it was stolen?

Why not? That's why I have an insurance agency, asshole!

Asshole.

We all know what he's like.

But show him you want to help him!

- He never listens to me. - Take him to look for his car.

Where? Please, Martina! I've got enough shit in my head today.

Don't make decisions for me without telling me!

Can't you read contracts?

Did you think 600 euros covered theft, accident and fire?

All right. I get it.

- Insane. I'll sort it out. - What?

- I'll look for my car on my own. - Go on!

Wait! You don't have a car! Can't you drive him?

Shut up! Get lost!

- He's back. - Toni, Marisa says hello.

What's Marisa got to do with this?

I forgot the car keys.

Vito, wait.

Let's have a coffee first.

- Want some? - No, thanks.

- Have a sugared almond. - No, I don't want one.

Everything okay, professor?

- Seen any action today? - What do you mean?

My brother-in-law's car was stolen this morning. A Corsa.

- Have you asked Sandokan about it? - I was about to.

- This going to the Grand Prix? - To the regional races.

- Really? - He arrived third last year.

Vito, stay in the car!

Let me hear it.

Intense. Shut it off.

- It reaches 120 k.p.h. - Really?

- Do you need gas? - Yes.

- Who's he? - My brother-in-law.

Sandokan!

I'll be right there.

We'll wait in the car.

We've gotta go to the Reef.

To the right.

Sandokan, who's Tulip?

- Don't you know him, professor? - Never filed him.

He's in charge. Turn right.

- The Reef is his place? - He's the king of the Reef.

Go to him for any problem.

King of the Reef, the restaurant?

The restaurant? Go right.

- The restaurant! - King of the Reef is a restaurant.

- What's he sayin'? - It's a neighborhood, not restaurant.

Professor, I've got us some fish!

Bye.

Professor, gimme a hand.

- What is this stuff? - Grab it.

- Where'd you get these? - Tulip sent them.

- What do I do with them? - Bake them in salt.

Put them in the car. What did Tulip say?

- What color was the car? - Metallic petroleum.

- What? - Green.

No. That one was white.

Professor, I did what I could.

Damn!

Don't worry, we've got other cards to play.

Hey! J.R.!

That so? Fancy that!

ESP.

Know anything about a Corsa?

This morning, along the sea front.

- What color was it? - Metallic...

- Green. - Green.

Yes, I'll wait. Go and check.

No, thanks.

-Get the good glasses for our guests. -There's no need.

There's a black one.

Perhaps they've revarnished it.

That's not it.

All right. Talk to you later.

Bye.

If J.R. doesn't know, I can't help you.

Forget about it, you're lucky your brother-in-law's in insurance.

What insurance?

- You only had basic coverage? - There's no theft or fire.

Just make a new policy tomorrow and it's all set.

The theft is already reported.

That's why we're looking for it.

- Are you from Bari? - Yes, but I live in...

- Poggioallegro. - Do you know Glass-Eye?

- Glass-Eye. - No, I don't.

Too bad!

Vito.

- Cilluzzo, we've gotta go. - Hold on.

- I gotta show you the contract. - What contract?

I wanted you to look at it.

Annamaria, entertain our guest.

Sit down.

- How's the sauce this year? Good? - Yes.

ls it sweet? Let me have a taste.

Good! You'll go blind like this, turn on the light.

- Want another beer? - Cilluzzo...

..what's the deal? - Do you want one or not?

- Gimme another beer. - At last!

Sit down.

What's all this about?

Because of the car?

I'm just helping my brother-in-law. I don't give a shit about the car.

It's not about the car. Alright?

It's not about the car.

And one and two and three and four, and five and six and seven and eight.

And one, and two, and three and four and five and six and seven and eight.

What do you reckon?

ls this move better?

And one and two and three and four.

- Or one, two, three and four? - The twirly one.

One, two... Okay.

- Dance with me. - I can't dance.

Annamaria, please!

It's non-stop! 375 days a year!

First the Lambada, then the Limbo. Right?

Sit down.

Please, tell me what you know.

Wasn't Nicola Bellomo supposed to be the godfather?

You heard about it too?

I found out what happened at 2 o'clock.

- Then they told me... - What?

That Marlon Brando nabbed him at home.

- What did they do to him? - Nothing. So they said.

- They used an excuse to detain him. - It's a warning to you.

- What did you and your buddy do? - Perhaps I did something wrong.

You wretch, turn that down!

Stupid!

- Where's Toni? - In there.

- Thanks anyway. - Good luck.

Forget about the car.

Take care. Thanks for everything.

- Bye. - I'm warning you, watch your back.

Don't worry, I know what to do.

- Bye, Cillo. - Bye.

Vito, I'll drop you off first, then go and look for your car.

You're dropping me off? Will you look for it on your own?

How else, in company?

- If you find it, you'll let me know? - Right.

- Aren't you going to eat? - I'll grab something somewhere.

See you later.

I'll drive you home tomorrow if I don't find anything.

Go on.

Good night. I'll go then.

Hello?

Where is my car?

Toni! Toni!

Toni! Where will I find it at this time of night?

Don't hang up. Toni!

The guy who stole my car called.

He wants 4,000 euros. He'll tell me where in an hour.

- This changes everything. - You won't make me go on my own?

Perhaps I should get changed. I won't be long.

Vito! Take the fish up with you.

- Vito. - Look!

Come in.

No, put it in the kitchen.

- The car? - Toni said I should change.

- What does that mean? - That I look like a dork.

- No, you look fine. - Anna, please!

It's not my house. What can I give you?

- What are those? - Bream. Can't you see?

Tomorrow you can bake them with salt.

- Know how long that'll take? - Now go and find me some clothes.

- Chicca... - Grab one of Toni's clean shirts.

- Toni's waiting in the car. - Alright.

Bottoms up.

- Vito. - What? - Take your cardigan, it's cold out.

They don't dismantle your car any more...

..or ship it to Albania. Now they call you and ask for a ransom...

..and it's all settled in one night.

So don't get worked up.

- We'll find the money. - Sure...

..on the ground? We can't write those people a cheque.

- Do you have cash? - Let's see what we can do first.

Maybe we can settle for 1,000. We've gotta negotiate.

Let me talk when they call back.

- Sure the guy who called was from Bari? - Yes.

- Sure it wasn't a nearby town? - No.

He was from Bari.

- Professor, where are you goin'? - Hey, Tito!

Chomp on some watermelon.

He's a friend of mine.

Eat up.

- Here. - No, thanks. - Who's this?

- My brother-in-law. - He's not from Bari?

- Yes, I am. - That accent sounds

..like you're from Georgia. Eat up.

- It's delicious! - Well?

They're eatin', cool it!

- Let's not argue. - Here, Vito.

Bye. Don't be a stranger.

- Take care. - Don't worry. Look after yourself.

Go on.

Here, clean up.

- 21, Vitino. - For Giovanni.

14, 18, 19, 26, Pinuccio. For Manuele.

- 16, 18, 24. - 23.

This ain't no market!

Are you sellin' fish?

Act like men. I don't wanna hear a pin drop.

Move away, please. I'll go and call Toni.

Mariuccio's waitin' for you.

- Dear boy. - Hi, Mariuccio.

Everything okay?

Well?

It's just some bullshit.

- They stole my brother-in-law's car this morning. - What?

He let them swipe his car. Right near here.

I thought I'd come and talk to you...

That's not your real problem.

You and I...

..have only one problem...

..Marlon Brando.

Can you open a beer, please?

Give it to our buddy. Drink up!

- What's your name? - Vito.

- You from Bari? - I was born in Bari...

..but I live in Poggioallegro. - You'll know Glass-Eye then.

- Won't you? - Not that well.

- We talk now and then. - I want to tell you something.

Since you know that rat, take him a message for me.

Tell him: "Saddam says he's still waiting for you."

And if he doesn't come here, I'll go to him.

- You'll go there if he doesn't come. - We'll see which of us is smarter.

- I'll tell him when I see him. - Good boy.

Are you with the professor?

- And Marlon Brando? - No, not with Marlon Brando.

Come over here.

Now get out of here.

Good evening.

Drink your beer.

Don't you like it or what?

ls it warm?

Cenzino!

- This beer's warm. - What do you want me to do?

- What did I tell you? - To put the beer in the fridge.

- Did you do it? - We're out of beer.

I went to Three-Wheels but he wouldn't give me any.

- What did you tell him? - That it was for Mariuccio.

He said it made no difference.

- Where's the car? And the keys? - There.

Move out of the way, fuck you!

Toni.

Poor you.

Now will you give me a crate of cold beer?

Vito, you know who you look like?

- Who? - Gianni Morandi.

- Gianni Morandi? - No one's ever told you that?

Two peas in a pod!

- But I can't sing. - Gianni Morandi's brother-in-law!

Chicca, where are you going at this time?

Nearby, to run an errand.

- What errand? - It'll only take 5 minutes.

Come with me. I want to show you something.

- And leave the kids on their own? - They're asleep.

We'll only be over there. And I have a baby monitor.

- Ann, get a move on. - Okay.

It's nice here. It feels strange to be so high up.

On a clear day, you can see Albania.

The baby! I knew it!

Do you want me to go?

Sure, you're a pal. I'll be right down.

Take your time.

- Yes. - Thanks for everything.

Know the way back?

Toni.

Hello?

It's me you gotta talk to.

Do you want the money?

Mariuccio said he'd bring it to you himself.

You don't know him? Mariuccio Testa.

Well done. Go to Marisa Bella tomorrow...

..fill up with gas and leave the car there.

Leave it where I told you.

And fill it up with gas!

Don't forget.

Here.

- Sabino, is Nicola here? - Who are you looking for? Nicola?

Go take a hike.

Idiot.

- Want some cigarettes? - Cigarettes!

Cigarettes! Up yours!

- Well? - Well what? - What happened on the phone?

Nicola, where the fuck are you?

I'll be right with you. Bye.

- Tell me what happened. - You're a pain!

Don't worry.

- Will they give it back? - Yes, in a couple of hours. - And the money?

- Leave that to me. - Will they call again?

- I dunno. - Won't you tell me anything?

We just gotta wait, that's all.

- Hey, Rockino. - Hello.

- Nicola? - He'll be back in 30 minutes.

- Got anything to eat? - At this time of night?

- Fix me something. - I've got a wedding to prepare for.

The kitchen's all yours.

Grab a knife for the parsley.

- No, that's too big. - They all are.

Grab a smaller one. And a big one for the squid.

Toni!

- Nicola! - What are you doing?

- I'm cooking. - Come in here. - You take over.

Do a good job.

They're delicious.

Look how fresh they are.

You've gotta try them.

Don't get your shirt dirty.

What a treat! Cut them into rings, put everything in.

- Then add the parsley. - Toni.

- What if they call back? - They won't.

But let me talk to them, don't mess it up.

And don't burn the garlic.

Toni, we've been friends all our lives.

I never thought I'd get in trouble because of you.

Because of me?

You've gotta give him the money, not me.

But he asked me to pay today, when I was to be your son's godfather.

- What a coincidence! - Coincidence!

I wouldn't take it so lightly.

They didn't hurt you, did they?

Did they take you to the depot?

Toni, Marlon Brando wants your hide.

He doesn't like you anymore.

I got other friends, you know that.

You mean Mariuccio Testa? Are you crazy? You went to see Mariuccio?

- Now you're screwed. - I know what I'm doin'!

Relax, I can take care of my own business.

- Are they playing in there? - Wait, where are you goin'?

Toni.

Here.

It's a present for your son.

You're a gentleman, Nicola.

Be careful.

Here we are, daydreaming...

..reality...

..that burns inside your eyes.

It's a tremor that rises.

It's like the sea, another sea...

..it's as though...

..I was to drown in you.

..it's like a shiver on my skin.

No one ever...

..no one ever...

..could ever hold you again.

I'm set.

Card.

- That's enough. - Gimme another.

- Put your money down. - I'm set.

Card.

This time...

Toni.

Toni.

Wait!

- I gotta go. - Let's call it a day.

And be thankful, if I stay I'll clear you all out.

Next time learn to play. And keep the change.

When he wins, he jets.

Don't invite him again. It's not the first time you've done this.

- ls the pasta ready? - It'll have gone cold by now.

- Want a sugared almond? - No, thanks.

They've done a good job of it!

- At least 4,000 euros of damage. - Fuck!

Maybe even more.

But never mind.

- Holy shit! - Help me clean the glass off.

Hello? Can I talk to Mariuccio?

The professor.

Mariuccio, I've thought it over carefully.

It's not that simple.

I gotta see you in person. Where? The house of lights?

I'll meet you there. Just give me time to get there.

Toni. A lemon.

Another lemon.

What did I tell you? Help me clean off the glass.

Don't just stand there like an idiot! Wake up, young man!

Don't take it out on me if you're stressed. I'm trying to help you.

You're trying to help me?

Who's been running around like crazy since this morning to help you?

They stole your car and you're making a tragedy out of it.

For a crappy car!

A crappy, crappy car!

- Get lost. And get a life. - You're acting like a saint now.

You get into deep shit and you drag me into it too.

- Get a life. - That's enough!

Like hell you'd help me if there was nothing in it for you!

Dragging me around all afternoon to Saddam, Sandokan, Cilluzzo...

..and Marlon Brando!

Who the fuck is this Marlon Brando?

ls the professor playing around with fire now?

You're crazy!

What the hell are you doing?

You've broken my nose!

Where are you going? Come here.

Clean yourself up.

- Wipe your nose. - Fuck off!

Come back!

Fuck you!

Vitino!

He's looking better already.

Everything okay, Vitino?

- Aren't you putting any ice on it? - Ice? After.

- After what? - After the emergency room visit.

You'll get less with ice. The swelling goes down with time anyway.

You're going to file an insurance claim?

Of course.

You're out of your mind!

You're out of your mind!

You smashed my face in.

We were driving along in the Saab, when someone cut us off.

I tried to swerve, but we ended up on the pavement.

You can't remember a thing because you fainted.

Then Cosimino arrived with the ambulance. We'll take care of it.

- How much will I get? - Four or five.

- How much? - Even 8, it depends on the X-ray.

Check out this bit. It's brilliant.

- Where's the car? - It's at the accident scene.

- No, mine. - You'll have to wait.

I've brought you a brace. You'll get 3,000 euros more with this.

Professor, totally sick!

Your brother-in-law's next. Just the time it takes for an X-ray.

Vitino, he and I will go and get the car.

You've gotta have an X-ray done anyway.

Don't worry, we'll only be five minutes.

If you're busy, one of my men will take your brother-in-law home.

- Bye. - I'll see you.

- Thanks. - Bye.

- ls this the way? - What?

- To your brother-in-law's? - Yes. No, wait.

- Take me somewhere else. - He said to the professor's house.

I was supposed to go there, but take me to the house of lights.

You know where it is, don't you?

Tonino.

Come here.

Do you like this picture? Nice, huh?

It's Saint Lucia.

- Do you know her? - Yes.

I'm a devotee, she's granted me so many miracles.

By the way... what have you decided?

Professor, you got a middle school diploma?

It shows you're not a street kid.

Listen.

See what I'm doin'?

- I removed this. What is it? - A light bulb.

- And what's happened? - The light's gone out.

You can't shift into reverse anymore.

You've gotta accelerate!

Otherwise the whole picture gets turned off.

ls the professor thinking now?

Always thinking, think, think...

Saddam, come over here!

- What's goin' on? - Lemme say one thing...

Piss off!

What a night it's been!

You crazy asshole!

When the adults are talking, go play with the kids or you'll get hurt.

Get out from under there, you're not fooling anyone.

- Does your nose still hurt? - No. It was nothing.

They've given you the full works, eh?

Let's stop off at my friend's house.

- Now? - Yes. It'll only take 5 minutes.

- Isn't it late? - No, she's a young chick.

Her parents are never around.

How do you want your spaghetti?

- "Al dente", with hot pepper. - Anything else?

- And some good wine! - It's not a restaurant, you know!

Well?

- What's wrong? - You know!

You know.

- I've brought you a present. - A baptism sweetbox?

Of course not.

Let me see... Nice box.

- It's lovely. How much did it cost? - A fortune.

Stop it!

- Do you work with Toni? - Yes. I have my own agency.

- In Bari? - Yes.

- How come Tony gets hurt? - Because I'm tougher than steel!

- Sure you don't want any pasta? - No, thanks.

- Does it hurt? - No.

- Mara, make him some spaghetti. - Right.

- Eat or you get eaten. - Drink or you get drunk.

Cheers!

Gianni Morandi!

Everything alright?

An "espressino"?

Two "espressino".

Toni, tell me something...

What happened tonight with that guy?

- Sugar? - No.

Let's just say...

..I was gonna change friends, then I decided to stick with the old ones.

What would it have changed if you had? Who was better?

Just forget about it.

It's too complicated.

I'll explain it to you one day.

- I'm going to the toilet. - Vitino...

Nothing.

Go on.

Well?

You gotta loosen up a bit when you drive.

Sit up straight, proud.

There! That's better.

- I'm no expert, I've had two cars. - It shows. But it's wrong.

Because if you don't try everything...

..you'll never understand what things are about.

And cars are like females.

If you want to know what a woman's like sexually...

..take her out and let her drive.

If she drives smoothly... you're in luck.

- Are you sure? - Sure as shit!

It's strange though. For example your sister Anna can't drive,

she doesn't even have a licence...

But in bed... she's Formula One!

- She likes making love. - Shift gears and go.

Concentrate on your driving. Formula One!

Vitino, head for the port.

Turn here.

Where are we going?

I want to show you something, don't worry.

Carry on.

Where are you taking me, professor?

I always end up doing what you say.

Go on!

There's my car, Toni!

Look at that.

ls that it?

It's my car!

Vitino. I'll count to three, then you turn the wheel full round.

One, two... three!

- Not even a scratch on it. - Perfect!

They've even left the baptism ribbons on it.

Well?

Don't get me dirty!

Be good.

- Bye, Toni, and thanks. - Take care.

- Go get some rest now. - You too.

Toni! Wait! If they've not taken the present, take it home to Ivan.

- No, give it to me some other time. - Come on, you'll make him happy.

Vito!

What are you doing?

Vito!