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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,500 --> 00:00:05,019 Terrible Tudors Gorgeous Georgians 2 00:00:05,020 --> 00:00:06,419 Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians 3 00:00:06,420 --> 00:00:09,019 Woeful wars, ferocious fights Dingy castles, daring knights 4 00:00:09,020 --> 00:00:11,739 Horrors that defy description Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians 5 00:00:11,740 --> 00:00:14,459 Vicious vikings, cruel crimes Punishments from ancient times 6 00:00:14,460 --> 00:00:15,899 Romans rotten, rank and ruthless 7 00:00:15,900 --> 00:00:17,539 Cavemen savage, fierce and toothless 8 00:00:17,540 --> 00:00:19,979 Groovy Greeks, brainy sages Mean and measly Middle Ages 9 00:00:19,980 --> 00:00:22,179 Gory stories, we do that 10 00:00:22,180 --> 00:00:24,939 And your host, a talking rat 11 00:00:24,940 --> 00:00:28,859 The past is no longer a mystery Welcome to... 12 00:00:28,860 --> 00:00:33,420 Horrible Histories. # 13 00:00:38,660 --> 00:00:41,219 If you were very rich in Tudor times 14 00:00:41,220 --> 00:00:44,700 then your diet tended to be, well, very rich. 15 00:00:46,060 --> 00:00:48,739 Would you like a body like this? 16 00:00:48,740 --> 00:00:51,859 I'll bet you would! Well, now you can 17 00:00:51,860 --> 00:00:54,699 thanks to the Henry VIII Tudor Diet Plan - out now! 18 00:00:54,700 --> 00:00:57,299 Just seven hours dedicated feasting a day 19 00:00:57,300 --> 00:00:59,859 and you too could have a body to die for. 20 00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:02,419 5,000 calories a day, every day 21 00:01:02,420 --> 00:01:04,579 and 13 courses at every meal. 22 00:01:04,580 --> 00:01:08,939 With the Henry VIII Tudor Diet Plan, you get all of your five a day. 23 00:01:08,940 --> 00:01:11,579 That's five massive portions of meat! 24 00:01:11,580 --> 00:01:14,419 Ho-ho-ho! Of course, it's also important 25 00:01:14,420 --> 00:01:16,579 to consume the right amount of vegetables. 26 00:01:16,580 --> 00:01:17,819 That's none at all. 27 00:01:17,820 --> 00:01:22,459 Rarr! Rah! Vegetables are for peasants! 28 00:01:21,500 --> 00:01:27,139 Sometimes I get so hungry, I eat the plate. Mm! 29 00:01:27,140 --> 00:01:31,420 Obviously, it's not a real plate. This one's made of pure sugar. Mm! 30 00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,459 Water's important too. 31 00:01:34,460 --> 00:01:37,099 It's important that you avoid it like the plague. 32 00:01:37,100 --> 00:01:41,619 It's filthy! Seriously, Tudor water is filthy. Bleargh! 33 00:01:41,620 --> 00:01:46,019 And finally, it's vitally important you don't take any exercise at all. 34 00:01:46,020 --> 00:01:48,659 With all the rich food, you'll find it very difficult 35 00:01:48,660 --> 00:01:51,419 to move around. Just sit on your throne and take it easy. 36 00:01:51,420 --> 00:01:52,459 PARP! 37 00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:56,019 The Henry VIII Tudor Diet Plan, for weight watchers everywhere. 38 00:01:56,020 --> 00:01:58,260 Just watch your weight go up and up! 39 00:02:02,060 --> 00:02:06,219 Posh Tudors believed uncooked vegetables were indigestible 40 00:02:06,220 --> 00:02:08,979 and carried disease. Huh, as if! 41 00:02:08,980 --> 00:02:11,179 Me, I always eat my greens. 42 00:02:11,180 --> 00:02:15,339 Well, green slugs and caterpillars anyway. They're yummy. Ha-ha! 43 00:02:15,340 --> 00:02:18,859 Henry's dreadful diet meant he got massively overweight 44 00:02:18,860 --> 00:02:21,579 and he suffered from gout and diabetes 45 00:02:21,580 --> 00:02:24,540 and you really didn't want to get sick in the Tudor era. 46 00:02:26,540 --> 00:02:28,259 Don't worry. Help's on its way. 47 00:02:28,260 --> 00:02:30,339 - BELL RINGING - I think that's probably them now. 48 00:02:30,340 --> 00:02:32,739 Make way! Make way! 49 00:02:32,740 --> 00:02:35,499 - Historical paramedics. - Look, Jeff, a lady. - I concur. 50 00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:37,459 - I'll take her pulse. - No, she might need it. 51 00:02:37,460 --> 00:02:39,299 BOTH: Ha-ha-ha! 52 00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:41,579 - I'm sorry, are you qualified? - Even better. 53 00:02:41,580 --> 00:02:44,459 - We're Tudors. What seems to be the problem? - I don't know. 54 00:02:44,460 --> 00:02:46,739 She didn't feel well in the supermarket. 55 00:02:46,740 --> 00:02:49,259 - Then she fainted. - Sounds like she's suffering from... 56 00:02:49,260 --> 00:02:51,059 - Sickness! - I concur. 57 00:02:51,060 --> 00:02:53,259 We must act fast. You, sir! 58 00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:57,099 - Are you a villain, a scoundrel, a rapscallion? - What? 59 00:02:57,100 --> 00:03:01,379 We urgently need a criminal. This woman's life may depend upon it. 60 00:03:01,380 --> 00:03:04,019 - Well, I stole a packet of biscuits once. - Ooh! 61 00:03:04,020 --> 00:03:05,979 Can we cut off your head, dry your skull 62 00:03:05,980 --> 00:03:07,699 and feed its powdered scrapings 63 00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:09,419 to this lady? 64 00:03:09,420 --> 00:03:12,179 Blast! He ran away before we could get an answer! 65 00:03:12,180 --> 00:03:14,339 We've no time to lose, shall we use spiders? 66 00:03:14,340 --> 00:03:16,139 - Yes! - Do you have any butter? 67 00:03:16,140 --> 00:03:19,339 Er, I have this low-fat cholesterol busting olive oil spread? 68 00:03:19,340 --> 00:03:21,299 Don't know what that means, but it'll do. 69 00:03:21,300 --> 00:03:23,419 We cover the live spiders in butter, 70 00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:25,979 feed them to the patient and - bang! - sickness gone 71 00:03:25,980 --> 00:03:28,139 - Oh, Jeff. - What? 72 00:03:28,140 --> 00:03:31,379 - I forgot to feed the spiders. - Are you insane in ye brain? 73 00:03:31,380 --> 00:03:34,939 We can't feed her dead, buttered spiders. That's just crazy. 74 00:03:34,940 --> 00:03:36,739 - I'm so sorry. - What else do you have? 75 00:03:36,740 --> 00:03:39,619 - I have this human bone. - Excellent. Bone marrow and sweat, 76 00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:41,499 - a sure tonic for sickness. - Madam, 77 00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:44,059 may I rub this bone on your armpit? Oh, she's gone. 78 00:03:44,060 --> 00:03:47,379 Honestly, it's like these people don't want her to get better! 79 00:03:47,380 --> 00:03:49,019 There's only one thing for it. 80 00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:51,299 BOTH: Fustigation! 81 00:03:51,300 --> 00:03:52,819 What's fustigation? 82 00:03:52,820 --> 00:03:55,499 A very technical procedure. You'll want to stand back. 83 00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:58,539 We literally beat the sickness out of her. 84 00:03:58,540 --> 00:03:59,819 That's ridiculous, 85 00:03:59,820 --> 00:04:01,859 - you can't do that! - Wait, wait, wait! 86 00:04:01,860 --> 00:04:04,539 - I hear wheezing. - Yes, she's got asthma. 87 00:04:04,540 --> 00:04:08,019 - Do you have a frog in your throat! - No. - Then why ever not, madam? 88 00:04:08,020 --> 00:04:11,459 - Nigel, put a frog in this lady's throat! - What do you mean, a frog? 89 00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:13,299 A dead frog in the windpipe 90 00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:15,819 - is the best cure for asthma. - Stop being so stupid! 91 00:04:15,820 --> 00:04:19,619 This is all she needs. Here you are. 92 00:04:19,620 --> 00:04:21,899 'Tis witchcraft! 93 00:04:21,900 --> 00:04:24,459 - Back away, witch! - Back away from the witch. 94 00:04:24,460 --> 00:04:28,179 - I'll take the spread. - Use not your black magic on me, witch. 95 00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:30,700 - Now run away! - Run away! - Run away! 96 00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:37,459 Oh, no. Jane, bring the sponges. 97 00:04:37,460 --> 00:04:40,980 Looks like they've tried the buttered spiders again. 98 00:04:49,444 --> 00:04:52,283 Hello, and welcome to Horrible Points of View. 99 00:04:52,284 --> 00:04:54,883 We've a bit of a backlog here at the BBC 100 00:04:54,884 --> 00:04:58,483 and we've just got round to the correspondence from the Celtic era. 101 00:05:09,180 --> 00:05:12,339 Actually, there are hardly any letters in the bag, 102 00:05:12,340 --> 00:05:15,259 because in Celtic times, most people didn't write. 103 00:05:15,260 --> 00:05:17,939 Stories were handed down by word of mouth, 104 00:05:17,940 --> 00:05:21,259 usually in the form of poetry, 105 00:05:21,260 --> 00:05:22,859 but we do have a couple here 106 00:05:22,860 --> 00:05:26,540 from viewers who went along to see one Celtic poet perform. 107 00:05:34,740 --> 00:05:39,259 A three hour poem?! Still, I suppose it's better than some of the acts 108 00:05:39,260 --> 00:05:40,899 on Britain's Got Talent! 109 00:05:40,900 --> 00:05:43,139 HE SNIGGERS 110 00:05:43,140 --> 00:05:44,860 Other viewers wanted to know... 111 00:05:47,500 --> 00:05:50,939 Well, who better to ask than the man himself. 112 00:05:50,940 --> 00:05:53,419 To learn all my poems took twelve years or more. 113 00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:55,459 My teacher would make me lie on the floor 114 00:05:55,460 --> 00:05:58,339 with a stone on my belly, A weird old sensation 115 00:05:58,340 --> 00:06:00,819 and a bag on my head to aid concentration. 116 00:06:00,820 --> 00:06:03,659 So why spend so long being treated like trash? 117 00:06:03,660 --> 00:06:05,939 Cos a qualified poet earns loads of cash. 118 00:06:05,940 --> 00:06:06,979 APPLAUSE 119 00:06:06,980 --> 00:06:10,259 Thank you, thank you. I'm here all week, half price on Thursdays. 120 00:06:10,260 --> 00:06:12,659 Imagine having to make everything rhyme? 121 00:06:12,660 --> 00:06:15,419 I'd do it myself, but I haven't the time. 122 00:06:20,700 --> 00:06:25,139 Celtic poets really did take 12 years to learn all their poems. 123 00:06:25,140 --> 00:06:27,299 Imagine their school timetable. 124 00:06:27,300 --> 00:06:32,419 Poetry, poetry, followed by double poetry, triple poetry and poetry. 125 00:06:32,420 --> 00:06:35,179 The poets were the rock stars of their day 126 00:06:35,180 --> 00:06:38,059 and they were well looked after wherever they went. 127 00:06:38,060 --> 00:06:40,899 Shame the Celts weren't as nice to their animals. 128 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:43,739 I don't care if it does make a woolly jumper, 129 00:06:43,740 --> 00:06:46,619 you shouldn't be conducting the kind of genetic research 130 00:06:46,620 --> 00:06:48,980 that leads to crossing a sheep with a kangaroo. 131 00:06:48,981 --> 00:06:53,059 - Hello. Can I have a horse, please? A fast one. - For racing? 132 00:06:53,060 --> 00:06:54,979 No, for eating. I'm an ancient Celt 133 00:06:54,980 --> 00:06:58,179 and we believe that by eating a fast horse, it makes us faster runners. 134 00:06:58,180 --> 00:07:01,339 Look, I'm sorry. This is a pet shop, not a butcher's. 135 00:07:01,340 --> 00:07:03,859 We sell smallish animals for the family. 136 00:07:03,860 --> 00:07:05,659 Can I have a dog, please? 137 00:07:05,660 --> 00:07:08,059 There you go! Certainly! What kind you after? 138 00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:10,899 Ooh, Labradoodles are very popular at the moment. 139 00:07:10,900 --> 00:07:13,779 Very affectionate, great for people with allergies. 140 00:07:13,780 --> 00:07:17,499 - No, I'm after one that can tell me the future. - You want a talking dog? 141 00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:20,019 No! Dogs don't talk, love. No, no, no. 142 00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:23,899 But if you kill them and eat their flesh, they will talk to you in a vision. 143 00:07:23,900 --> 00:07:26,139 Yeah, go on, out you go! Go on! Walkies! 144 00:07:26,140 --> 00:07:30,059 If I promise not to hurt it, can I have a dog, please? 145 00:07:30,060 --> 00:07:32,419 - Do you promise? - Yeah. 146 00:07:32,420 --> 00:07:35,019 I cross my heart and hope to die in battle 147 00:07:35,020 --> 00:07:37,419 and then be reborn and then die again in battle. 148 00:07:37,420 --> 00:07:40,859 Eurgh! And then be reborn and die again in battle. 149 00:07:40,860 --> 00:07:43,779 You shouldn't be in charge of scissors, let alone pets! 150 00:07:43,780 --> 00:07:45,020 Can I have a dog, please? 151 00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:47,819 What kind are you after? 152 00:07:47,820 --> 00:07:51,139 One with a massive tongue so it'll lick this. Ah! 153 00:07:51,140 --> 00:07:53,859 - Argh! - Yeah, well, Celts believe it'll heal the wound. 154 00:07:53,860 --> 00:07:56,379 Er, well, we're all out of dogs. Sorry. Goodbye. 155 00:07:56,380 --> 00:07:58,259 Can I have a cat, please? 156 00:07:58,260 --> 00:07:59,859 I'm not going to sell you any pet 157 00:07:59,860 --> 00:08:02,619 that you're going to eat, kill, tell the future with, 158 00:08:02,620 --> 00:08:04,659 - or get to lick your wounds. - No, I won't! 159 00:08:04,660 --> 00:08:05,939 We think cats are lucky. 160 00:08:05,940 --> 00:08:08,859 If I sell you a cat, will you clear off and never come back? 161 00:08:08,860 --> 00:08:10,939 Yeah. As long as it's a quiet one. 162 00:08:10,940 --> 00:08:13,859 I'm going to take it home and brick it up in the house walls. 163 00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:15,659 What? 164 00:08:15,660 --> 00:08:17,419 Oh, come on! You know the saying. 165 00:08:17,420 --> 00:08:20,260 Lucky cat in the walls. Lucky home. 166 00:08:32,900 --> 00:08:35,219 Hello and welcome to The News At When. 167 00:08:35,220 --> 00:08:39,259 When? The 1400s, when the kings of England ended up fighting 168 00:08:39,260 --> 00:08:41,619 a gruesome war with their own relatives 169 00:08:41,620 --> 00:08:42,979 for the right to the crown. 170 00:08:42,980 --> 00:08:47,219 Here with more details is Bob Hale with the War of the Roses report. 171 00:08:47,220 --> 00:08:51,419 Thank you, Sam. The year is 1453 and that right there is Henry VI, 172 00:08:51,420 --> 00:08:54,819 though he could be Henry The Sick because, mentally, he's rather ill. 173 00:08:54,820 --> 00:08:57,259 So unwell that he can't run the country any more. 174 00:08:57,260 --> 00:08:59,459 So his cousin, Richard Sillyname, turns up 175 00:08:59,460 --> 00:09:02,659 and says he'll be Lord Protector, meaning he'll run the country 176 00:09:02,660 --> 00:09:05,739 while the King is ill. What a lovely chap! Or is he? 177 00:09:05,740 --> 00:09:08,779 50 years ago, Richard's great-great-grandpa, Richard II, 178 00:09:08,780 --> 00:09:12,259 was kicked off the throne by Henry's great-great-grandpa, Henry IV. 179 00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:15,059 So these two sides of the family aren't exactly best buds, 180 00:09:15,060 --> 00:09:17,979 so the second Henry is better, he takes back his crown 181 00:09:17,980 --> 00:09:20,899 and, fearing cousin Dicky might still be bearing a grudge, 182 00:09:20,900 --> 00:09:24,059 has him kicked out of court. Boom! Good shot. What does Dicky do? 183 00:09:24,060 --> 00:09:26,739 Well, since Henry is from the House of Lancaster, 184 00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:28,139 whose symbol is a red rose, 185 00:09:28,140 --> 00:09:30,539 and since cousin Dicky is from the House of York, 186 00:09:30,540 --> 00:09:33,419 whose symbol is a white rose, and since this report is on 187 00:09:33,420 --> 00:09:36,059 the War of the Roses, you can see where this is going. 188 00:09:36,060 --> 00:09:37,099 Yep, it's war! 189 00:09:37,100 --> 00:09:39,499 Dicky's men, the Yorkies, win the first battle 190 00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:42,419 where Henry's Lancastrian Army run away. So fast, in fact, 191 00:09:42,420 --> 00:09:44,699 they leave poor Henry sitting alone in a tent 192 00:09:44,700 --> 00:09:48,179 having once again fallen ill. Again, Dicky becomes Lord Protector, 193 00:09:48,180 --> 00:09:51,459 and again Henry gets better, and again, Dicky is kicked out of court. 194 00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:52,939 Boom! Good shot. 195 00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:55,379 Luckily, the Archbishop of Canterbury steps in 196 00:09:55,380 --> 00:09:57,739 and sorts everything out by inventing Love Day 197 00:09:57,740 --> 00:10:00,419 where Yorkies and Lancastrians walk the High Street 198 00:10:00,420 --> 00:10:02,299 holding hands. I'm not making that up. 199 00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:04,819 So it's all peace and love and harmony and kissing, 200 00:10:04,820 --> 00:10:07,819 although probably not the last one, and that is the end of that. 201 00:10:07,820 --> 00:10:11,699 Or so we thought! 1459 and Dicky tries again but fails. 202 00:10:11,700 --> 00:10:14,219 Yes, it's the Yorkies' turn to run away this time, 203 00:10:14,220 --> 00:10:17,739 but not that far away, because the next year they try again. 204 00:10:17,740 --> 00:10:20,659 The Battle of Northampton this time, where the Yorkies win 205 00:10:20,660 --> 00:10:23,659 and the Lancastrians run away, leaving Henry behind, again 206 00:10:23,660 --> 00:10:25,779 and he's found alone in his tent, again. 207 00:10:25,780 --> 00:10:27,659 And guess what? He's ill again. 208 00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:31,259 So once again, Dicky becomes Lord Protector, meaning final victory 209 00:10:31,260 --> 00:10:36,139 goes to the Yorkies and that really, really, really is the end of that! 210 00:10:36,140 --> 00:10:37,179 Or so we thought! 211 00:10:37,180 --> 00:10:39,499 Henry might be ill, but his wife refuses to give up. 212 00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:41,779 So she nips up to Scotland and borrows an army 213 00:10:41,780 --> 00:10:44,259 and, what do you know, restarts the whole war. 214 00:10:44,260 --> 00:10:46,659 She socks it to the Yorkies at the Battle of Wakefield, 215 00:10:46,660 --> 00:10:48,859 which has this effect on old Dicky Boy. 216 00:10:48,860 --> 00:10:51,059 He fainted! No, not really! He's only dead. 217 00:10:51,060 --> 00:10:53,659 Killed in battle, leaving his son Eddy to pick up 218 00:10:53,660 --> 00:10:56,499 where Daddy left off, getting beaten by Mrs Henry. 219 00:10:56,500 --> 00:10:59,499 But Eddy's in luck. The people are suspicious of Mrs Henry's 220 00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:02,499 Scottish army and decide they'd rather have Eddy in charge. 221 00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:05,259 He's crowned, Yorkies win, Lancastrians lose 222 00:11:05,260 --> 00:11:08,339 and that's the end. Really, honestly this time. I promise. 223 00:11:08,340 --> 00:11:09,659 Or so we thought! 224 00:11:09,660 --> 00:11:11,979 Time for the biggest battle of the entire war, 225 00:11:11,980 --> 00:11:15,059 It's bigger than that. Bigger. Yep, that's about right. 226 00:11:15,060 --> 00:11:18,739 80,000 soldiers, 20,000 killed. It's a massive, horrible bloodbath 227 00:11:18,740 --> 00:11:20,619 that sees final victory go to... 228 00:11:20,620 --> 00:11:21,699 the Yorkies, yes! 229 00:11:21,700 --> 00:11:24,259 Mr and Mrs Henry run away, Eddy has his coronation, 230 00:11:24,260 --> 00:11:27,139 becoming King Edward IV, the country is filled with peace 231 00:11:27,140 --> 00:11:30,259 and rainbows and prancing lambs and pretty coloured flags. 232 00:11:30,260 --> 00:11:32,739 But not for long! Eddy falls out with his chief advisor, 233 00:11:32,740 --> 00:11:34,779 the Earl of Warwick, which is a bad move. 234 00:11:34,780 --> 00:11:37,939 Warwick is known as the Kingmaker and he promptly makes a king. 235 00:11:37,940 --> 00:11:41,299 He brings back - yep, you've guessed it - Henry VI. Remember him? 236 00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:45,339 Well, you can forget him, because in 1471 Warwick is killed in battle, 237 00:11:45,340 --> 00:11:48,739 Henry is executed, and Edward can take back the crown for the Yorkies 238 00:11:48,740 --> 00:11:51,259 and rule the country very nicely for years and years 239 00:11:51,260 --> 00:11:53,339 and that's the end of the War of the Roses. 240 00:11:53,340 --> 00:11:56,259 Honestly this time, properly and forever, I swear. 241 00:11:56,260 --> 00:11:59,779 Unless you count where Eddy dies, his brother Richard III takes over, 242 00:11:59,780 --> 00:12:01,539 THEN loses the crown to Henry Tudor. 243 00:12:01,540 --> 00:12:04,459 But that's unimportant. Who's ever heard of the Tudors? 244 00:12:04,460 --> 00:12:06,699 AUDIENCE: Everybody's heard of the Tudors! 245 00:12:06,700 --> 00:12:09,459 All right, I know everyone has, it was only a joke! 246 00:12:09,460 --> 00:12:12,100 Honestly, what is it with you people?! 247 00:12:13,260 --> 00:12:17,059 Richard III was a mean old murderous monster. 248 00:12:17,060 --> 00:12:18,180 or was he? 249 00:12:21,260 --> 00:12:27,019 I was sure that you'd love me to that hope I did cling 250 00:12:27,020 --> 00:12:33,779 Cos I'm Richard III and everybody loves a king 251 00:12:33,780 --> 00:12:37,179 Thought I did a good job Why do you disagree 252 00:12:37,180 --> 00:12:40,579 There's a lot of people spreading nasty rumours 'bout me 253 00:12:40,580 --> 00:12:43,659 Every word is a lie so I'm singing this song 254 00:12:43,660 --> 00:12:47,379 Cos the history books have been telling it wrong 255 00:12:47,380 --> 00:12:50,379 Never had a limp Walked my full height 256 00:12:50,380 --> 00:12:53,299 Never had a hump and my arm was all right 257 00:12:53,300 --> 00:12:56,539 Never took the crown with illegal power 258 00:12:56,540 --> 00:12:59,899 Never killed my nephews the princes in the tower 259 00:12:59,900 --> 00:13:06,019 Tudor propaganda, it's all absurd 260 00:13:06,020 --> 00:13:11,060 Time to tell the truth about King Richard III 261 00:13:12,980 --> 00:13:18,819 My brother Edward died His kids too young to rule 262 00:13:18,820 --> 00:13:24,539 So I took the throne Why not? I'm nobody's fool 263 00:13:24,540 --> 00:13:28,659 Thomas More wrote a history said I murdered Edward's boys 264 00:13:28,660 --> 00:13:31,819 Shakespeare said their death was an evil ploy 265 00:13:31,820 --> 00:13:35,219 But I say those two are historical vandals 266 00:13:35,220 --> 00:13:37,699 They've ruined my image I mean, what a scandal! 267 00:13:37,700 --> 00:13:41,699 Never bumped off those harmless young heirs 268 00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:44,499 Never buried them under the Tower of London stairs 269 00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:48,179 Never poisoned my wife Bumped off her daddy 270 00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:51,059 This is me, Sweet Richard Do I look like a baddie? 271 00:13:51,060 --> 00:13:57,499 Never was two-faced Sure you'll agree 272 00:13:57,500 --> 00:14:02,620 I was misunderstood King Richard three 273 00:14:04,220 --> 00:14:07,219 Can you imagine it? I'm the last Plantagenet 274 00:14:07,220 --> 00:14:10,419 Beaten by Henry in the Wars of the Roses 275 00:14:10,420 --> 00:14:13,459 The Tudor dynasty didn't care that much for me 276 00:14:13,460 --> 00:14:17,699 Now I'm painted as a baddie That's why one supposes 277 00:14:17,700 --> 00:14:20,179 Never forget when you hear of my crimes 278 00:14:20,180 --> 00:14:23,059 Never drowned my brother in a massive vat of wine 279 00:14:23,060 --> 00:14:26,259 Never said "A horse! My kingdom for a horse!" 280 00:14:26,260 --> 00:14:29,459 Who made that up? Why, William Shakespeare, of course 281 00:14:29,460 --> 00:14:34,300 Now my tale is told you won't hear a bad word 282 00:14:36,180 --> 00:14:40,739 About a special ruler King Richard III. # 283 00:14:40,740 --> 00:14:42,219 I'm a nice guy. 284 00:14:42,220 --> 00:14:44,259 BUZZING 285 00:14:44,260 --> 00:14:46,259 Oh, there's a wasp, there's a wasp! 286 00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:49,379 There's a wasp, a wasp! Ah, there's a wasp. Ah, there's a wasp! 287 00:14:49,380 --> 00:14:52,539 Yes, people think Richard III was a monster 288 00:14:52,540 --> 00:14:54,899 because of how he was portrayed by Shakespeare 289 00:14:54,900 --> 00:14:56,939 in the play, Richard III. 290 00:14:56,940 --> 00:14:59,659 But Shakespeare was out to please Queen Elizabeth I, 291 00:14:59,660 --> 00:15:04,059 and by making Richard III a monster, he showed that her grandfather, 292 00:15:04,060 --> 00:15:06,779 Henry Tudor, was right to take the throne. 293 00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:09,899 So Richard probably wasn't really all that bad. 294 00:15:09,900 --> 00:15:15,259 Woo-hoo, I suddenly came across all brainy. Do you know what? 295 00:15:15,260 --> 00:15:18,060 I feel quite faint. 296 00:15:22,940 --> 00:15:27,139 In ancient Mexico, us Aztecs ate all sorts of unusual stuff 297 00:15:27,140 --> 00:15:31,259 like monkeys, frogs and lizards. But at a certain time of the year, 298 00:15:31,260 --> 00:15:33,420 our diet wasn't nearly as interesting. 299 00:15:34,580 --> 00:15:36,739 Previously on Aztec Come Dine With Me, 300 00:15:36,740 --> 00:15:39,619 Memexi served up a meal of maize and beans. 301 00:15:39,620 --> 00:15:41,739 Ooh! Thank you. 302 00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:43,619 Come here, maize and beans! 303 00:15:43,620 --> 00:15:45,939 Chantico prepared a dish of maize and beans. 304 00:15:45,940 --> 00:15:49,699 So, it's maize and beans. Can I get you one of these? 305 00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:51,699 - Oh, yes. - Everyone for beans? 306 00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:52,899 Oh, yes, please. 307 00:15:52,900 --> 00:15:55,259 And Tenook cooked maize and beans 308 00:15:55,260 --> 00:15:56,619 with a side order of beans. 309 00:15:56,620 --> 00:15:57,859 Quelle surprise! 310 00:15:57,860 --> 00:15:59,379 LAUGHTER 311 00:15:59,380 --> 00:16:00,419 Yes it's, er... 312 00:16:00,420 --> 00:16:02,420 BREAKS WIND 313 00:16:03,660 --> 00:16:07,019 It's the final dinner party. Can't wait to find out 314 00:16:07,020 --> 00:16:09,939 what Atzi's going to be cooking for her guests tonight. 315 00:16:09,940 --> 00:16:13,259 I've decided to cook maize and beans. 316 00:16:13,260 --> 00:16:14,659 Oh! 317 00:16:14,660 --> 00:16:17,059 Cos I don't have any choice. 318 00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:22,259 In the Aztec calendar, it's the days of eating maize and beans 319 00:16:22,260 --> 00:16:24,819 when we just eat maize and beans. 320 00:16:24,820 --> 00:16:26,099 PARP! 321 00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:27,299 For 19 days. 322 00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:30,139 It's to celebrate the end of the dry season. 323 00:16:30,140 --> 00:16:32,819 Yes, and the beginning of the windy one! 324 00:16:32,820 --> 00:16:36,739 It's hot and sticky in the kitchen and Atzi hasn't started cooking. 325 00:16:36,740 --> 00:16:39,819 Now the guests are arriving. That's no good. 326 00:16:39,820 --> 00:16:42,379 - Can I take your blanket? - Yeah. 327 00:16:42,380 --> 00:16:45,899 - You look fabulous. Really nice. - Oh, so do you. You look fantastic! 328 00:16:45,900 --> 00:16:49,219 Now, I'm just in the kitchen. So just help yourselves to cactus wine. 329 00:16:49,220 --> 00:16:51,299 Thank you. Oh, right! 330 00:16:51,300 --> 00:16:54,139 Cactus wine!? I hope they've taken the spikes out! 331 00:16:54,140 --> 00:16:57,819 Meanwhile, back in the kitchen, Atzi prepares the sacred maize 332 00:16:57,820 --> 00:17:01,659 in the traditional Aztec manner, by blowing on it. 333 00:17:01,660 --> 00:17:02,699 PRRRT! 334 00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:04,539 Well, that's one way of doing it. 335 00:17:04,540 --> 00:17:05,979 Oh, no! 336 00:17:05,980 --> 00:17:08,939 Please tell me you're not using that maize on the floor! 337 00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:14,459 Maize is sacred to us Aztecs, so not a single grain must be wasted. 338 00:17:14,460 --> 00:17:16,500 PARP! 339 00:17:19,060 --> 00:17:21,819 It is me or is it a bit draughty in here? 340 00:17:21,820 --> 00:17:22,859 It's you! 341 00:17:22,860 --> 00:17:26,259 It's time for dinner and before the main course of maize and beans, 342 00:17:26,260 --> 00:17:29,699 Atzi has prepared a surprise starter. 343 00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:32,139 It's maize and beans! 344 00:17:32,140 --> 00:17:33,899 - Ooh! - Love it. 345 00:17:33,900 --> 00:17:36,659 - That is my favourite. - Mine too. 346 00:17:36,660 --> 00:17:40,739 Several plates of maize and beans later, it's time for Atzi 347 00:17:40,740 --> 00:17:44,499 to entertain her guests by playing a tune on her Aztec pipes. 348 00:17:44,500 --> 00:17:45,899 PANPIPES 349 00:17:45,900 --> 00:17:48,299 While the other guests give a blast on THEIR Aztec pipes. 350 00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:49,339 PARP! 351 00:17:49,340 --> 00:17:50,379 PRRT! 352 00:17:50,380 --> 00:17:52,259 Go on, fella! 353 00:17:52,260 --> 00:17:55,379 Time for the all-important scores. 354 00:17:55,380 --> 00:17:58,859 A three from Memexi. 355 00:17:58,860 --> 00:18:02,259 Seven from Chantico. 356 00:18:02,260 --> 00:18:04,259 And a big fat one from Tenook. 357 00:18:04,260 --> 00:18:05,659 PARP! 358 00:18:05,660 --> 00:18:07,499 Who gives Atzi ten out of ten. 359 00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:10,619 Which means that Atzi is the winner of this week's cash prize, 360 00:18:10,620 --> 00:18:12,459 1,000 beans. 361 00:18:12,460 --> 00:18:14,259 1,000 beans? 362 00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:20,459 Relax, they're cocoa beans for making chocolate. It's Aztec money. 363 00:18:20,460 --> 00:18:22,259 Aah! 364 00:18:22,260 --> 00:18:23,299 Yeah! 365 00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:24,979 PRRT! 366 00:18:24,980 --> 00:18:26,899 Yeah, when I said relax... 367 00:18:26,900 --> 00:18:29,339 Next week on Aztec Come Dine With Me, 368 00:18:29,340 --> 00:18:33,580 it's the days of swallowing water snakes and frogs. Can't wait. 369 00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:48,939 The answer is... 370 00:18:48,940 --> 00:18:52,739 B. The Aztecs held ceremonies where they stretched children's necks 371 00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:54,420 to make them taller. 372 00:19:03,980 --> 00:19:06,580 Grr, get back here! Come on! 373 00:19:09,260 --> 00:19:10,980 Grr! 374 00:19:13,020 --> 00:19:15,499 Grr! 375 00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:17,139 What are you doing, man? 376 00:19:17,140 --> 00:19:21,459 The woods are teeming with wildlife. You won't catch anything standing there. 377 00:19:21,460 --> 00:19:24,099 Come on, let's get hunting. Woo! Rarr! 378 00:19:24,100 --> 00:19:26,579 No thanks. I'm not a hunter. 379 00:19:26,580 --> 00:19:29,819 Whoa! Back up, give a brother room. What do you mean, not a hunter? 380 00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:31,579 We're Stone Age. It's what we do. 381 00:19:31,580 --> 00:19:33,939 We chase after wild animals, day in, day out 382 00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:36,579 until they get exhausted and we skewer 'em! 383 00:19:36,580 --> 00:19:39,499 Well, I'm not a hunter. I'm a farmer. 384 00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:43,139 - A fah-ma? - Yes, a farmer, I farm stuff. 385 00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:47,419 Basically, I got fed up of chasing animals about the countryside, 386 00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:49,419 never staying in the same place twice, 387 00:19:49,420 --> 00:19:51,179 so I set myself up a home here. 388 00:19:51,180 --> 00:19:52,499 A hoom? 389 00:19:52,500 --> 00:19:54,459 Yeah, a home. This could take a while. 390 00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:55,979 Yes, I live here. 391 00:19:55,980 --> 00:19:58,499 I have plenty of livestock in my paddock 392 00:19:58,500 --> 00:20:01,819 and whenever I need meat I just go over and kill it. 393 00:20:01,820 --> 00:20:04,659 What, you don't have to chase after it? 394 00:20:04,660 --> 00:20:06,419 - No. It's tied up. - That's cool! 395 00:20:06,420 --> 00:20:10,219 I quite like the sound of being a fah-ma with a hoom. 396 00:20:10,220 --> 00:20:12,499 And I plant and grow all my own vegetables. 397 00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:13,899 Vegballs. 398 00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:16,179 - Vegetables. - Ve-ge-tibbles. 399 00:20:16,180 --> 00:20:20,420 Like cabbage and spinach and onions and carrots and garlic. Try this. 400 00:20:24,811 --> 00:20:26,899 No, I don't like it. 401 00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:28,700 Here, wash it down with this. 402 00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:31,700 It's milk from the animals. 403 00:20:33,180 --> 00:20:34,859 It is a little hard to swallow. 404 00:20:34,860 --> 00:20:38,419 I think I'll stick to being a hunter, thanks. 405 00:20:38,420 --> 00:20:41,260 OK then. More for me! 406 00:20:45,060 --> 00:20:47,379 Yeah, keep it down now, keep it down. 407 00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:51,859 Ha-ha! When Stone Age men first started drinking animal milk, 408 00:20:51,860 --> 00:20:54,619 their bodies hadn't learnt how to digest it properly 409 00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:57,299 so they would have been sick a lot. 410 00:20:57,300 --> 00:21:01,139 Anyone fancy a nice bowl of puke-o-pops? Ha-ha-ha! 411 00:21:01,140 --> 00:21:06,259 Yes, it was a key moment in the evolution of Stone Age man 412 00:21:06,260 --> 00:21:10,179 as, believe it or not, was the invention of string. 413 00:21:10,180 --> 00:21:14,220 Hi, I'm a shouty man and I'm here to tell you about... 414 00:21:15,860 --> 00:21:18,339 It's the exciting, technological breakthrough 415 00:21:18,340 --> 00:21:20,419 set to revolutionise the Stone Age. 416 00:21:20,420 --> 00:21:22,299 Are you tired of hunting with rocks? 417 00:21:22,300 --> 00:21:23,739 Yeah! 418 00:21:23,740 --> 00:21:26,539 - Oh! - Then simply use new multi-purpose string 419 00:21:26,540 --> 00:21:29,299 to tie a sharp flint to a long stick and - bingo! - 420 00:21:29,300 --> 00:21:30,860 you've got yourself a spear. 421 00:21:32,180 --> 00:21:34,779 - It should be the pointy end first. - Arr! 422 00:21:34,780 --> 00:21:39,659 You can also use new multi-purpose string to make this bow and arrow. 423 00:21:39,660 --> 00:21:41,859 You're supposed to fire the pointy end! 424 00:21:41,860 --> 00:21:43,779 - Sorry, mate. - And that's not all. 425 00:21:43,780 --> 00:21:46,059 New multi-purpose string can also be used 426 00:21:46,060 --> 00:21:47,859 to make this tasteful shell necklace. 427 00:21:47,860 --> 00:21:51,019 Wurrgh! Necklace nice. 428 00:21:51,020 --> 00:21:54,539 Ho-ho! Flowers nice. 429 00:21:54,540 --> 00:21:58,579 - Flowers not for you. Flowers to make string. - That's right. 430 00:21:58,580 --> 00:22:02,019 New multi-purpose string is made from the flowering plant, flax, 431 00:22:02,020 --> 00:22:03,979 so it's 100% organic. 432 00:22:03,980 --> 00:22:06,379 Here's the not-so-sciencey bit! 433 00:22:06,380 --> 00:22:09,179 Flax is a tough plant, full of strong, woody fibres. 434 00:22:09,180 --> 00:22:12,259 Simply extract these fibres from the stem of the plant 435 00:22:12,260 --> 00:22:15,699 and twist them with other fibres for added stringy strength. 436 00:22:15,700 --> 00:22:19,419 Honey, I'm home! Me bring meat. 437 00:22:19,420 --> 00:22:23,219 Why not use new multi-purpose string to make yourself a string bag? 438 00:22:23,220 --> 00:22:25,779 It's up to a bit percent better at carrying stuff 439 00:22:25,780 --> 00:22:27,739 than using your bare hands. 440 00:22:27,740 --> 00:22:30,899 Honey, I'm home! Me bring more meat! 441 00:22:30,900 --> 00:22:34,219 Warning, do not use string bag to carry berries. 442 00:22:34,220 --> 00:22:35,859 What else string do? 443 00:22:35,860 --> 00:22:37,419 How long is a piece of string? 444 00:22:37,420 --> 00:22:41,819 Easy. One, 20, 32... 445 00:22:41,820 --> 00:22:45,739 New multi-purpose string. Available from all leading fields. 446 00:22:45,740 --> 00:22:50,740 29, 30... Ooh! No, it is difficult, actually. 447 00:22:55,340 --> 00:23:00,019 We Georgians all loved our great naval Commander, Lord Nelson. 448 00:23:00,020 --> 00:23:02,259 The Battle of Trafalgar was his finest hour 449 00:23:02,260 --> 00:23:05,339 but also, sadly, his last. 450 00:23:05,340 --> 00:23:08,219 Quick as you can, Dr Beatty. It's Lord Nelson, 451 00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:10,299 he's been shot. I think he may be dying. 452 00:23:10,300 --> 00:23:13,579 Ah, Dr Beatty. Sorry to have to drag you down here. 453 00:23:13,580 --> 00:23:16,979 Hardy's a bit of a fusspot. I trust you are well? 454 00:23:16,980 --> 00:23:20,539 Never better, but I'm sure it's your health we should worry about. 455 00:23:20,540 --> 00:23:22,059 EXPLOSION 456 00:23:22,060 --> 00:23:24,219 Ah, stuff and nonsense, Dr Beatty! 457 00:23:24,220 --> 00:23:27,739 Just a trifling fatal injury from a French sniper rifle. 458 00:23:27,740 --> 00:23:31,379 Heaven knows how the blighter managed to pick me out on the crowded deck. 459 00:23:31,380 --> 00:23:34,499 Well, with all due respect, you do stand out a little bit. 460 00:23:34,500 --> 00:23:37,379 You may as well have, "Shoot Me" written on your forehead. 461 00:23:37,380 --> 00:23:40,499 Bullet ripped through my shoulder, passed through my chest 462 00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:42,379 and lodged somewhere in my spine. 463 00:23:42,380 --> 00:23:44,619 You ask me, it's a darn inconvenience! 464 00:23:44,620 --> 00:23:45,659 EXPLOSION 465 00:23:45,660 --> 00:23:48,019 Doctor, is there anything you can do for him? 466 00:23:48,020 --> 00:23:49,379 I'm just a ship surgeon, 467 00:23:49,380 --> 00:23:53,059 bit out of my depth with internal bleeding and spinal injuries. 468 00:23:53,060 --> 00:23:55,499 Hacking off damaged limbs is more my forte. 469 00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:56,539 CHEERING 470 00:23:56,540 --> 00:23:59,019 Another French ship has surrendered, sir. 471 00:23:59,020 --> 00:24:03,379 You're about to win Trafalgar. The greatest sea battle of all time. 472 00:24:03,380 --> 00:24:05,419 Just as well, Hardy. 473 00:24:05,420 --> 00:24:08,779 I'd look pretty stupid after naming MY flagship The Victory, what? 474 00:24:08,780 --> 00:24:09,979 LAUGHTER 475 00:24:09,980 --> 00:24:11,619 Ah, good. Yes! 476 00:24:11,620 --> 00:24:13,779 - Oh, God. - Admiral, we're losing him. 477 00:24:13,780 --> 00:24:15,620 Kiss me, Hardy. 478 00:24:17,020 --> 00:24:19,939 Sorry, did he just say, "Kiss me, Hardy?" 479 00:24:19,940 --> 00:24:23,539 - It sounded more like "Kismet." - Sorry, what's Kismet." 480 00:24:23,540 --> 00:24:26,459 Well, I think it means fate or destiny or something. 481 00:24:26,460 --> 00:24:31,739 Oh, right. I might kiss him anyway, just in case that's what he wanted. 482 00:24:31,740 --> 00:24:34,179 Really? Well, no, no, no. 483 00:24:34,180 --> 00:24:38,139 If he was saying that this was his destiny and you do kiss him, 484 00:24:38,140 --> 00:24:40,059 then forever more, people will think 485 00:24:40,060 --> 00:24:42,699 Britain's greatest ever naval hero, on his deathbed, 486 00:24:42,700 --> 00:24:46,539 - asked his right-hand man for a bit of snog when he didn't. - OK. 487 00:24:46,540 --> 00:24:50,259 Well, um, how about I split the difference and give him a hug? 488 00:24:50,260 --> 00:24:53,580 Yeah, give him a hug. Everyone loves a hug. 489 00:24:56,611 --> 00:24:58,699 Finished? 490 00:24:58,700 --> 00:25:00,939 Not yet. 491 00:25:00,940 --> 00:25:03,219 Yep, we're good. 492 00:25:03,220 --> 00:25:07,539 Hardy did actually kiss Nelson, twice on the cheek. 493 00:25:07,540 --> 00:25:10,299 The Battle of Trafalgar was a famous British victory 494 00:25:10,300 --> 00:25:13,259 but, on receiving news of Nelson's death, King George III 495 00:25:13,260 --> 00:25:18,979 is believed to have said, "We have lost more than we have gained." 496 00:25:18,980 --> 00:25:20,659 That is such a sad death. 497 00:25:20,660 --> 00:25:23,259 I thought this was supposed to be a funny show? 498 00:25:23,260 --> 00:25:24,539 What's that? 499 00:25:24,540 --> 00:25:27,820 We've got a stupid one up next? Oh, goody! 500 00:25:29,980 --> 00:25:32,339 Stupid deaths, stupid deaths 501 00:25:32,340 --> 00:25:34,499 They're funny cos they're true 502 00:25:34,500 --> 00:25:37,219 Whoo! Stupid deaths, Stupid deaths 503 00:25:37,220 --> 00:25:40,339 Hope next time it's not you. Hee-hee! 504 00:25:40,340 --> 00:25:43,619 Well, yes, I do use conditioner. Is it that obvious? 505 00:25:43,620 --> 00:25:45,099 What do you use? 506 00:25:45,100 --> 00:25:47,939 Oh, look lively, we've got company. And you are? 507 00:25:47,940 --> 00:25:50,299 Maria, Countess of Coventry. 508 00:25:50,300 --> 00:25:52,579 All right then, Grandma. Tell us your story. 509 00:25:52,580 --> 00:25:54,699 Grandma?! I'm only 27! 510 00:25:54,700 --> 00:25:59,339 Only 27?! What happened to you? An explosion in a white paint shop? 511 00:25:59,340 --> 00:26:02,819 No. Actually, I used to be something of a society beauty, 512 00:26:02,820 --> 00:26:04,579 but I was prone to the odd spot. 513 00:26:04,580 --> 00:26:06,899 - Oh, yes. - So I covered them up with ceruse, 514 00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:09,379 a Georgian make-up, and that worked a treat. 515 00:26:09,380 --> 00:26:11,899 But I got more blemishes, so I applied more make-up. 516 00:26:11,900 --> 00:26:13,939 Well, you would. Wouldn't you? 517 00:26:13,940 --> 00:26:15,979 Turns out it contains white lead. 518 00:26:15,980 --> 00:26:17,739 Oh, that can't be good for you. 519 00:26:17,740 --> 00:26:20,539 No, it's poisonous and it causes blemishes on the skin. 520 00:26:20,540 --> 00:26:24,099 Which you needed to cover up with more white lead make-up? 521 00:26:24,100 --> 00:26:25,139 Exactly. 522 00:26:25,140 --> 00:26:28,099 More blemishes, more make- up, more blemishes, more make-up, 523 00:26:28,100 --> 00:26:31,019 - more blemishes, more make-up. - Uh-huh, yes? 524 00:26:31,020 --> 00:26:32,859 Until I died of lead poisoning. 525 00:26:32,860 --> 00:26:35,699 You did? Aha-ha-ha-ha! 526 00:26:35,700 --> 00:26:37,179 HE LAUGHS 527 00:26:37,180 --> 00:26:39,659 You're as thick as your make-up! 528 00:26:39,660 --> 00:26:43,739 Ooh! If looks could kill! And they did - you! 529 00:26:43,740 --> 00:26:46,139 HE LAUGHS 530 00:26:46,140 --> 00:26:49,019 You're through to the afterlife, Maria, you numpty! 531 00:26:49,020 --> 00:26:52,179 Off you go. Honestly, oh! 532 00:26:52,180 --> 00:26:54,619 Is this a wig or... Hm. Next! 533 00:26:54,620 --> 00:26:55,659 Name. 534 00:26:55,660 --> 00:26:56,819 Kitty Fisher. 535 00:26:56,820 --> 00:27:00,939 Hm, now don't tell me. Let me guess. 536 00:27:00,940 --> 00:27:03,259 Stupid deaths, stupid deaths 537 00:27:03,260 --> 00:27:06,580 Hope next time it's not yo-o-ou. # 538 00:27:09,940 --> 00:27:14,699 And so dies Lord Nelson, Britain's greatest naval leader. 539 00:27:14,700 --> 00:27:18,139 Hero of the Battle of the Nile, the Battle of Copenhagen 540 00:27:18,140 --> 00:27:22,140 and now the Battle of Trafalgar. The People's Admiral. 541 00:27:25,340 --> 00:27:28,539 His body should be carried back home in honour, so that the men 542 00:27:28,540 --> 00:27:30,979 and women of Britain can pay their respects. 543 00:27:30,980 --> 00:27:34,099 What did you do with the body, by the way? 544 00:27:34,100 --> 00:27:36,259 Oh, we wanted to make sure it was preserved, 545 00:27:36,260 --> 00:27:38,120 so we popped it in the barrel of brandy. 546 00:27:43,140 --> 00:27:44,499 Good stuff. 547 00:27:44,500 --> 00:27:45,819 Tall tales, atrocious acts 548 00:27:45,820 --> 00:27:47,939 We gave you all the fearsome facts... # 549 00:27:47,940 --> 00:27:50,659 Psst! Can you keep a secret? No, me neither. 550 00:27:50,660 --> 00:27:52,779 I've found great games in the Time Sewers. 551 00:27:52,780 --> 00:27:55,539 Want to come and play? Then just go to the CBBC website 552 00:27:55,540 --> 00:27:58,260 and click on Horrible Histories. See you there! 553 00:27:59,700 --> 00:28:02,740 Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd 554 00:28:02,790 --> 00:28:07,340 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 45381

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