All language subtitles for Clean Slate s01e07 Mess and Magic.eng

[Desiree]
Previously, on Clean Slate...

I don't know anything about you
other than the fact that

one day your daughter's going
to be president.

Go on a date with me.

- Have you ever dated a trans woman?
- Not yet.

About the whole date thing,
forget I even mentioned it.

I have got to learn to drive.

Your instructor is in the car
with you right now.

Still waiting for Louis to talk to me
and we live together.

Grindr? It'll blow my cover.

Your cover isn't as covering
as you think.

Seeing you in that hospital
where mom died...

I don't want to think about
losing you, too.

I need you, Dad.

So you and Opal are not riding with me
on the Mardi Gras float?

Can't. Got a "Mom-di-Gras."
Kids from her class and their mothers.

It's a PG version of the same debauchery.

- Sorry, Opal's got to let her hair down.
- [laughs] Oh.

Ooh. And where are you going?

Louis promised to show me
the magic of Mobile. So, back by 9:00.

Oh, please.
That's the old Mobile.

Now, we're talking 9:30.
Maybe even 9:45.

[Desiree] Who needs New York?

- Daddy.
- What-- [laughs]

I know it's been 23 years,
but I still know that look.

- Can we borrow your convertible?
- I knew it was something.

You know that's my pride and joy.
Aside from you.

- It's my backup pride and joy.
- But I passed my driving test.

Girl, this is Mardi Gras.
You got drunkards out there,

you got criminals out there,

and people who click "reply all"
for no damn reason.

Look, give them the car,

and I won't let you ride in
that Rice Krispie treat alone.

[Harry] It's a sponge.

Besides, I can add to my bead collection.

- Get them beads out of here.
- Get away!

Now, I want you to promise me,
no drinking, okay?

No drugs, no strangers,
and no eating in my car.

I can't have you leaving stains
in my seats

with your greasy fingerprints and whatnot.

[both] We promise.

And you will check in with me
every hour on the hour.

Dad, I'm not a teenager.

Need I remind you
I haven't given you the keys yet?

You left them in the ignition.

Bye. Love you, mean it!

- The magic of Mobile awaits.
- [engine starts]

[opening theme music playing]

[Desiree]
Did you bring me here to kill me?

[Louis]
Betty's is the coolest gay bar in town.

Girl, it's Mardi Gras.
Trust me.

It's gonna be [sing-songy] off the chain.

?Where everything's still the same ?

?This town has said
what it has to say ?

?Now I'm after that back highway ?

I think they left it
completely on the chain.

[Mack] Lots of potential friends here.

Oh, Opal, look. Self-service candy bar.

Looks like all you can eat all day.

Are you crazy?
Student council treasurer is here.

I need Juniper to approve funding
for the Model UN.

You can't close that kind of deal
in the middle of a sugar high!

Maybe focus less on closing deals
and more about making friends.

Be kind and polite,
and thank Lulu for hosting.

I'm not rude, but time is money
and Lulu is not on the agenda.

- Opal, you made it!
- Lulu.

- Funny running into you here.
- But it's my house.

That was the joke.

Never mind.

- Hi, Daddy.
- Hey.

- It's Mack. Right?
- That's right.

Of course it's Mack. Like the truck.

That just-- wham!

You're under the truck.
[laughs]

- It's a children's party, right?
- Oh, is it?

Hey, you want to take a break
from being fondled and come help me?

Yeah.

Whoo. They were steamrolling
towards second base.

Cheryl looked like she was
getting ready to steal third.

- Well, thanks for the rescue.
- You're welcome.

I'm Rhonda,
your host and general smart-ass.

I'm Mack and smart-asses
are my favorite of the entire ass family.

- Oh!
- Yeah.

Well, you make your ass useful.

[straining] You got it.

[parade music playing]

You can't text while driving
a giant sponge.

You could run over a whole flock
of majorettes mid-routine.

I'm trying to find Des.

She should have checked
in three times by now.

Will you leave her be?
She's a grown-ass woman.

- Whoo! This yours?
- You wish.

Hi!

Anyone here catch your eye yet?

Yes, but not in a good way.

Even if I was looking for a man
tonight, it wouldn't be in a gay bar.

[phone notification]

"Please send a picture so I know
you're not dead in a ditch somewhere.

From Harry, your father."

Please send that man
a proof-of-life photo

before he puts us
on a missing persons list.

- [camera shutter clicks]
- Done.

Sorry this place is so... rustic.

That's not rustic.
That's a health code violation.

This place, it's safe.

- Nobody knows me out here.
- Do you ever want anyone to know you?

If there's one thing I've learned
about intimacy issues--

Intimacy issues,
shmintimacy issues.

James just texted me back.

- James, that hot-as-hell doctor?
- Yes, from Grindr!

- [squeals]
- Oh! Oh...

He said he's in town
for a Fluidity Ball.

Did y'all say Fluidity Ball?
Betty's the name.

And jump-scaring people is your game.

Fluidity is the queer party of the year.

It's been sold out for weeks.
I can get you in, though.

Louis, I need this.

We're going.

- People might recognize me.
- Fluidity is a masquerade.

No one's going to lay eyes
on your gorgeous little face.

[Desiree] And James will be there.

- Fine.
- Yes! Who's driving?

You, girl, because I don't own
a motor vehicle.

Kenny, you're covering the bar.
Mama's going out.

He works here? Um...

He gonna wash his hands, right?

Who cares?
Onward to the masquerade.

?Rollin' incognito,
Rollin' incognito ?

?Queen of my castle
and I ain't ever comin' down ?

What if James is a catfish?
Or doesn't have any teeth?

He's a closed-mouth smiler, you know.

Toothless doctors are rare.

Look, once James arrives,
I'll hover till you feel good about...

- He's here and he has teeth.
- Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Help me. Hey, James.

Are your Spidey senses tingling?
[laughs]

Listen, this was
the last mask they had.

Okay. Did Aunt May give you
a curfew tonight?

Well, if she did,
I just forgot all about it.

[laughs]
Hate to interrupt whatever

Comic-Con chemistry
you two have going on here,

- but I need to see some ID.
- Oh.

?Get up on your feet
She's so probl�matique ?

- One last thing for protection.
- You mean condoms?

- It's a taser.
- Girl, what?

If it's giving psycho, stun him.

Aim for the eyes and don't stop
till there's blood on his shoes.

Now, you two lovebirds
have fun now. [laughs]

?She's so probl�matique,
I know you like it ?

Juniper!

I am so glad
our paths were able to cross.

Have you taken a look at
my Model UN proposal?

It's still under consideration.

Where are you sitting in the cafeteria
these days?

- Sort of just floating for now.
- Not anymore, you're not.

Friends of mine sit
with the student council.

- Ever play "Who's got the baby?"
- Duh. It's a Mardi Gras tradition.

Find the baby in five minutes
and you can sit at our lunch table.

You're already at our lunch table.
Try to keep up.

[scoffs]

Of course.
I was just kidding.

Who should we pick
to look for the baby?

How about Lulu?

Great choice, Juniper.
Visionary.

Thank you so much for helping me
with these gift bags.

It's overwhelming.

Hell, I'm overwhelmed
each day making Opal's lunch.

And then they don't even eat half of it.

Right! You're cutting crust,
you're washing fruit,

you're warming up the thermos.
Stuff takes time.

Oh, the worst.

The baby's gotta be in here somewhere.

Psst.

- You had the baby all along?
- Shh.

[parade music playing]

[Harry] Look where Desiree is, Ella.

Oh, this is hell on earth.

I know a hostage photo when I see one.

Hostage?
That's just a sad excuse for a bar.

Stop trippin'!

No, this is my little baby girl.
I got to protect her.

From what?

Yo. Have you been reading the news lately?

These streets are not
safe for people like Des.

Well, you know what?

I still have Louis's friend's location
from when we saw Boyz II Men,

in New Orleans.

Okay, okay.
That's where they are.

[Harry] In that shady warehouse district?

[Ella] Slow down!
I'm not dying in a Swiss cheese!

[Harry] It's a sponge!

[dance music playing]

Let me guess.

You're going for the whole
Meghan Markle thing, right?

Kind of. But thottier.

Come through
Duchess of Sus-sexy.

[all laugh]

I'm Taylor.
This ho to my left is Natasha.

And that ho over there is White Natasha.

- I'm Desiree.
- Hi!

Look at you girls
living your best authentic lives.

This is not the Mobile I remember.

[phone notifications]

Who's blowing you up?

My dad.
He won't stop checking in on me.

So annoying.

- Aw, I wish I had a dad who cares.
- Taylor, you have two dads.

- And they drove us here.
- Yeah, but we got drama.

They refused to buy me
the new AirPods Max.

That's your major drama?

Let big sis give you some advice.

When it comes to
New York City or Alabama,

you can't rely on your daddy
or your sugar daddy.

Girls like us have to focus
on the big things we want in life

and grab 'em for ourselves.

How much for that bottle?

3,500.

We'll have three shots from that
plastic bottle with the easy grip

and a Shirley Temple for me.

I told my dad I wouldn't drink.

You told your dad?
Aren't you, like, 60?

[awkwardly laughs]

Oh, 60?
[awkwardly laughing]

Screw it.

Make it a Dirty Shirley for me.

- Yes!
- [Desiree] I'll show you 60.

I don't feel too good.

Last slice. The baby must be there.

Lulu, stop.

- They're pranking you.
- What are you doing, Opal?

What I should have done
from the start.

I thought you were cool,
but you're a loser, just like Lulu.

I think I'm gonna...

[screams]
What!

Let's get you cleaned up.

Sorry I puked on your friends.

Those power-hungry bullies
are not my friends,

and I don't want them to be.

I'm sorry I was such a B-word.

It's okay.
Everyone can be a butthole sometimes.

No, I meant...

[sighs]

You know what?

I was a butthole.

Can this butthole come over
for a hang sometime?

[Desiree] Another round for Betty,
Natasha, and White Natasha!

- ?This is how we do it ?
- [screams] Yes, girl. Remember this song?

Do I? I was the inspo, baby!

?La, la, la, la, la ?

We don't listen to music
from before we were born.

I did not hear that!

- ?This is how we do it ?
- [phone notification]

[scoffs]

- Wait, who is Mack?
- Just a guy.

- What's Mack's last name?
- Do y'all bone?

If not, do you wish y'all boned?

Simmons, no, and...

Um...

Oh, that's the pause of death.

- You got it bad for that man.
- I do not.

Betty, back me up on this.

No can do.

[laughing and squealing]

This is not how we do it.

[dance music playing]

Cheers.

You gonna keep me
in suspense all night?

Shame you don't have perfect skin

and a glistening smile.

- Oh, hush.
- [laughs]

I have to admit,
I was pretty surprised

when you said you'd meet me
so last minute.

- Why?
- Seriously?

I mean, look at you.

I bet every guy in town was lining up
to take you out tonight.

Well, you're front of the line now.

Yes, I am.

[dance music continues]

Fireworks. Clich�.

But I like it.

[indistinct chatter]

I feel ridiculous.

They won't let us in
unless we're wearing a mask.

Once we get in there
and I find Desiree is alive and well,

then we can leave.
How do I look?

Like a young Idris Elba.

- Really?
- No!

You look like
a Squishmallow ate your face.

Come on.

Sold out.
No tickets, no entry.

Good sir, my daughter's been out
of my life for two decades,

and now she may be in grave danger.

This might be the chance
I'm finally her hero.

What if I told you you're looking at
Lil' Miss Black Mobile 1967, huh?

[Ella giggles]

Well, how many women
of a certain age you got in there?

Don't want me telling Nextdoor

you're running an ageist establishment,
would ya?

I'll show you my titties.

So that's how you got backstage
at Earth, Wind & Fire all those years.

Mm-hmm. And the Commodores.

And Kool & The Gang. Mmm.

Anyway, put your tongue back
in your mouth

and let's split up and find these kids.
I'm gonna go this way.

- Okay.
- Excuse me. Excuse me.

- [Taylor] Ooh, he's hot.
- [Betty] You in trouble, girl.

Why did you ignore this
hot man's call?

She obviously loves him.

I do not love him.

I am flirty and ready to get dirty.

- Oh!
- Okay.

Hey, babe. I'm here.

What were your other two wishes?

I think you're all three.

Just so you know, I'm trans.

Just so you know,

I'm Dave.

[Harry] Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Sorry, Grandpa.

Grandpa?

Did you just call me Grandpa?
Huh?

Well, maybe Grandpa needs
to teach you a little respect.

Let's do it.

?Padam, padam,
I hear it and I know ?

?Padam, padam,
I know you want to take me home ?

?Padam,
and get to know me close ?

You go, Harry!
Go, Harry!

[crowd chanting]
Go, Harry! Go, Harry! Go, Harry!

Go, Harry! Go, Harry!

?Padam, padam,
I know you want to take me home ?

?Padam,
and take off all my clothes ?

[crowd cheering]

?'Cause I can hear
your heart beating ?

?Padam, padam,
I hear it and I know ?

?Padam, padam,
I know you want to take me home ?

?Padam,
and get to know me close ?

?Padam, padam,
when your heart goes ?

[dance music continues]

Desiree is getting mouth-mauled
by some random man.

Good for her.
Let's not butt in.

- Hands off my daughter!
- Harry! Harry!

[Harry] Desiree!

Dad, seriously,
what are you doing?

Saving you from murderers
and potentially mono.

- Oh, Harry, stop!
- I like him and we are connecting.

Me and Doug,
we're making a connection.

- It's Dave.
- Shut up, Doug, Dave.

Look what we got!
We grabbed it for ourselves!

- They stole the bottle.
- You stole the bottle?

- She's with them, too.
- I don't know these bitches.

Desiree, come on!

We have a robbery in progress.

- [Harry] Desiree!
- [Ella] Come back here.

- [man] Call the police!
- [Taylor] Run, Desiree, run!

- That's your friend, isn't it?
- [screams]

[Harry] Desiree! Desiree! Desiree!

[Taylor] Hey, that was crazy!

[laughter]

[police sirens approaching]

I can't drive. I'm drunk.

Taylor can drive.
She's in AA.

- [engine starts]
- [laughter]

Hey! Wait!
I'm not in there!

But my purse is!

[dance music playing]

Louis Alexander Dunbar.

- Where'd Desiree go?
- Mom, Harry.

What the... brings you to beautiful
downtown Mobile this evening?

Desiree was in that bar
French kissing a bouncer.

Then she ran out with a gang
of cut-throat liquor thieves.

Just when the DJ was playing
the song of the night. It was just a blur!

- [Ella] Honey, we need your help.
- Okay, okay.

- Up higher.
- [grunts] I'm in.

- Okay, let's go.
- Okay.

Well, Lulu finally stopped
auditioning for The Exorcist.

I'm just glad the girls
are getting along so well.

- And Opal's made a real friend.
- Aw, so sweet.

- How about a slumber party?
- Whoa.

Easy, tiger.

It's been nice and all,
but I like to move slow.

Clever.
How about we start with you

giving me your number?

Yes, ma'am.

You look so familiar.

Seriously, girl,

how did you get your eyelashes
that long?

[horse neighs]

I swear I saw you in Central Park.

I miss my old life.

My friends, the gallery.

Even Gavin sometimes.

Do you ever miss New York?

Probably not.

[Harry] Desiree!

[Louis] Homegirl,
did you befriend a horse?

[Desiree] Daddy.

[Ella] Oh, thank God.

Oh! Oh, my goodness.
What a mess.

I've never been so happy to see you.

Giddy up, cowgirl.

Your rodeo's over.

Where's my car?

It's gone, Daddy.
It's gone!

You were right about me.
I am a mess.

It's going to be okay.
We just need to get you to bed.

How do I get in this thing?

- That's a good question.
- Over there?

- No.
- Back there.

Maybe if you just...

- Can you help her?
- My pants are too tight.

Lemon lime or fierce strawberry?

Dealer's choice, hon.
Just give me electrolytes.

Stat!

That's right.
That's right, Officer.

It was a vintage
fire-blue Barracuda. Yeah.

And it was stolen from me.

- [engine revs]
- Hold up.

I got to call you back.

Why, you no good for nothing,
carjacking fools.

Sir, it was an accident.

We saved our numbers to your contacts!

- [Natasha] Run, Natasha, run!
- [White Natasha] Wait, Natasha!

Wait, Natasha,
don't use my name!

And there better not be
no dang French fries stuck in my car.

So God help me.

Y'all slow down so I can catch ya.

So...

About that text you sent me.

What text?

[upbeat music playing]

- Would you like me to delete this?
- Yes, please. Thank you.

[Mack] Deleted.
Best Hardi Gras ever. [laughs]

[upbeat music playing]

[Desiree]
On the next Clean Slate...

You want me to break in
Watergate-style?

Last time you intervened,
you committed multiple felonies.

[teacher] Can anyone tell me what
it means to be a Christian?

[students] Me, me, me, me!

- Surprise!
- [laughs]

[Mack] I haven't done this in a while.

- I can tell.
- [laughs] Easy.

[knocking on door]

Can we talk?

[upbeat music playing]

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