All language subtitles for Boarders s02e04.eng

Oh!

Ah... Urgh!

Stop wanking!

Just because she wants to see you in
her office doesn't mean

she's going to strip you of that
badge. Yes, it does, bro.

Her taking this off me just opens
the door for her getting rid of me.

It'll work itself out.

Hi, Lord Thornfield. Mr Pennington.
Miss Cavendish-Dunn. Mr Alcott.

I'm looking forward to meeting you
at tomorrow's board event.

Best wi...

Sincerely, Jaheim Marsham.

Mm, mm, mm

Tasty, tasty, tasty

Mm, mm, mm

Tasty, tasty, ah

Mm, mm, mm

Tasty, tasty, tasty

Mm, mm, mm

You wanna face me, come get it

Nutter butter, crunchy

Sweet, sweet, sweet

Move from your brain to your feet,
feet, feet

Move from your brain
to your feet, feet, feet

Nutter butter, crunchy

Sweet, sweet, sweet

Move from your brain to your feet,
feet, feet

Move from your brain, brain, brain
to your feet.

THEY EXCLAIM

Can't lie, when I joined ALGE'bros
I thought it was going to be dry,

but it's a likkle litty, still.

ALGE'bros is so my happy place.

Leah. Hey. Hey.
Where were you for ACS?

Sorry, guys,
I was a little busy today.

Busy doing what?

Oh. Oh.
Since when?

Since I realised they existed.

Leah, you've never
talked about algebra in your life.

Really? I feel like I talk about it
a lot, sometimes.

There's nothing for me
to do in ACS anyway.

OK, well, we'll see you at lunch?

Sorry, give me one second.
Abby.

Abby. What? You can't hear me
bawling out your name?

Yes, but I thought covering my face
and breaking into a light jog

would let you know that I don't
want to be seen dead with you.

Why not? It's social suicide.

Not just for you,
but anyone seen talking to you.

So...

..goodbye.

Well, I really want to be
part of a society.

Ah! How many societies do you need?

Well, ACS don't need me no more,
and Mabel doesn't, so.

Wow. Devonye really did a number
on you.

We're not going to start with that
whole narrative.

I know girls like Devonye.

Trust me, she was the one
who stole your book.

Don't say you left it
in the rah'sclart woods.

Listen, you're talking trash
and until you come to me

with proper proof,
this conversation is done. OK.

What's that? Skeleton key.

Perks of when I was
a headmaster's daughter.

I say we go in there
and try and find it.

Abby, I love you, but seriously,
you have lost your mind.

You're scared of what you
might find.

Cos you know it will be there.

Crazy bitches always keep
mementos of bitches they felled.

You know what, I don't even know why
I'm indulging in this.

It's a no. I will be in her room
before the day is out,

whether you're with me or not.

Abby! Abiola!

Oh, my days.

KNOCKING

Come in.

You wanted to see me?

Take a seat.

Seems someone's been very
active on their computer.

I heard about your event
with the board.

I know you want to stay here
permanently.

I just thought that the attendance
of your Head Boy

and recommendation would
strengthen your bid.

That is if I am still attending it
as your Head Boy.

Hmm.

We'll be hosting the board
in the pavilion, 5pm.

This is incredibly important,
Mr Marsham.

It will determine
whether I stay or go.

And in turn, whether you stay or go.

Do not screw with me

and I'll let you keep hold of that
pin for just a little bit longer.

Yes, Mistress.

How's that MIT application going?

Don't think this summer's the best
time for me to go.

Massachusetts is
lovely in the summer.

Deadline midnight.

You'll love summer school.

Hello? Can anybody help me?

I really need a wee-wee.

Hello? Who-who-who's that?

Thanks. You need to hurry up and put
something on the wall.

Is that what it's about?

Obviously. What's taking you
so long?

I will, it's just
I haven't found any secrets yet.

It's a boarding school,
there's secrets everywhere.

Get your head out of your
comic books and look up.

Why are you helping me?

Because I, um...

I-I th... I think you're...

RATTLING

This was a warning.

If your contribution is not
there by this time tomorrow,

things will get worse.

Last time, they broke a kid's leg.

Hey.

Hey, so, birthday plans?
I need some.

I thought Rupert was taking
you to dinner.

He is. He's desperate to get me
in a room alone.

Are you in danger?

He's just too much at the moment.

I have the ick.

BOTH: Ick.

Is there anyone else?

Why would you think that?

I don't know, just asking.

You need to end it, Florence.
Like, officially.

It's not that simple.

Wow. Oh, my gosh.

Birthday present from Carol.

Oh, my God. Oh, wow.

I'm not in a couple,
I'm in a bloody throuple,

and I'm screwed if I try
and leave it.

Please can you turn a me-and-him
thing into a group thing?

I'll have a think.

I will also have a think.

Or you could put your petty
grievances aside and think together.

It is the most important
day of the year, my birthday!

What's the mandem telling me?

Abby invited me
to Florence's b-day ting.

Oh? Are you rolling?

I can't. I got work to catch up on.

You? Behind on work?

I've got this, like,
surprise practical.

How are you feeling all
guilty about Abby

and now you're extending
invites to parties? No, no, no.

Nothing to feel guilty about, mate.

Unknown T's a no.

His rider was too expensive.

Look, bruddah asked for a hot tub.

Hot tub,
six magnum bottles of Cristal.

I don't even know what that is.

I bet he'll want, er, lobsters
with his 20-strong entourage.

This shit's expensive, right?
Wait, hold on.

Are you making up his rider?

Wow, got Sherlock Holmes
here in the building.

Carol had to cut the budget
for the Spring Ball, so...

You really have no shame.

Yelena. These numbers are...

..insane.

Coming to this party or what, bruv?

No, I've got this thing with Carol.

Oh, yeah? Nice to see you getting
yourself back out there

after Beatrix.
It's with the board, you idiot.

Uh, why are you bigging up Carol?

I'm not going to big up Carol, I'm
bigging up myself.

She's coming for me.

If I get the board on the side, then
less likely to kick me out,

aren't they? Well, you can big up
the rest of us as well, then.

Could do that, you know.

When did a 'me' thing
become a 'we' thing now?

I already tried to get rid
of Carol for all of us.

Now you, you have the chance
to save us all.

You could tell the board that she's
trying to get rid of us.

I mean, I don't know.

I'd do it for you, though.

Yeah, funny you want me
to risk it all at this event

and you get to go party, so what?
What, there's a party? Yeah, yeah!

What? Yeah, yeah, I know that
I'm not invited, but I'm coming.

All right, hear what I'm saying.

There's a saying.

"Heavy is the head that
wears the crown."

Know what I'm trying to say?

OK, so I did Google it,

and apparently open auditions
for EastEnders isn't a thing,

which is so dumb, so I thought
we'd just go to the producers,

we'd go to that studio, and we'd
demand an audition for you, Femi.

I think we'll get it, we will,
I mean I have a cousin in...

Oluwafemi Adewale Temidayo
Gbolahan Adebayo!

Hi, Uncle. Time to go.
What, what, what now?

I thought you would at least let me
see the term out.

Well, you thought wrong, donkey.

Maybe we should
talk about what happened.

It was a hockey game.

It turned out how it turned out.

No love lost.

No, but Abs, it...

..shouldn't have gone down
like that.

I am sorry.

Maybe your dad will come back.

I don't think he will.

He's extended his trip.

I told him to.

He's actually really happy.

Urgh.

We could always rob
one of the Year 7s.

I mean, 50K a year to them's
like pocket money.

Rupert, hey.

We were wondering what you had
planned for Florence's birthday.

Why do you need to know?

We're her best friends, Rupert.

We know what she likes
and what she hates.

And we know what she's like
when she hates.

I'm taking her to La Maison Claire.
Again?! Again?!

Yes, she loves the food there.

I just think she wants to do
something with her friends.

You guys can just do something
with her afterwards.

OK, but don't bring her back to us
crying as we are not mopping

up her tears because you
thought 250 a head was fancy.

Oh, wait.

What's your thing, then?

Just get her ready for five o'clock,
and then leave the rest to us.

What? Your card. Jesus Christ.
We need to buy things, Rupert.

We're literally doing
this on your behalf!

I've, I've bought her something.

It's different, it's, uh,
it's not too expensive.

I, it's nice, I think...
Look, it's touching.

Can I, can I just run it
by you first?

We need your card to sort out
all of your fuck ups. Oh, my God.

We are literally snowed under as it
is. OK.

You know, there's probably enough
money on this card to pay

for both our school fees.

Wait. But will he notice that much
money gone from his account?

Joking!

Oh, my God, you would totally do it!

Hello, hello, hello.

Where you dey go?
That was the last of your things.

I'm just going to say bye
to everyone.

Kini?
Are you married to these people? Eh?

You've only known them
for five minutes, they'll survive.

Uncle, please, just...

Before I lick your shins,
you are done in this place.

Stop playing games, get in the car.

Frog. Your head shaped like a frog.

KNOCKING

Come in.

I just saw Femi leaving.

I know. Very sad.

It is. He was excelling and now he's
going home.

Unfortunately, I can't force
people to stay.

But trying to bribe people could
potentially make them leave.

I thought we'd cleared this up.

I'm not sure what you think you
heard, but I'd be very careful

about throwing accusations around
without proof.

Understood.

Was there anything else?

No.

Not for now.

IN HEAD: Get your head out of your
comic books and look up.

It's a boarding school,
there's secrets everywhere.

The party's being thrown
by the FAB girls,

so you know it's going to be
fucking messy. It always is.

Hey. Hey. I was really hoping we
could talk about how we left things

the other day... Yeah, um, maybe
later, I've got a party to get to.

I was thinking now.

See you later.

You check the drawers,
I'll check the wardrobe.

It's not there, let's go.

It'll only take twice as long
if I have to do it all by myself.

Mm, no.

Everything must be exactly
how you found it.

Abby, how many times
have you done this?

Oh, my days.

OK, so it's not here.

I'm not saying I'm wrong,
but I may have...

..jumped to conclusions.

Who do you think this is?

I don't know. Her sister?

Bro, why would you hide a picture of
you and your sister

in the back of a cupboard?

It'd make no sense.
Maybe... Maybe she hates her,

but her parents made her bring
a picture of her anyway.

Look how she's gripping on her.
That's romance.

Mm, yes. Wait...

What...? Look.

CHIMING

Bro, that's her. Bro, that...

Mm.

Hello? Why would you answer it?

I want to know who she is.
Oh, my days. OK?

Dev?

Hello? Hello.

Dev.

It's cool, it's cool, it's cool,
it's cool, it's cool, it's cool,

it's calm, it's calm. Dev, are you
there? Just... Oh, my God, go.

Go!

I can't believe you got me into this
mess, Abby. Oh, my days.

Well, at least we know
she didn't steal your book.

Yeah, but I have stolen
her fricking laptop!

Keep your voice down!

PHONE BUZZES

Oh! OK, I've got to sort out some
last-minute party stuff, but...

Abby!

Wait for the corridor to clear,

sneak back in
and put the laptop back, OK?

Here, meet me by the cars.
Mwah.

Bye.

Oh, for the love of God.

KNOCKING

Wait there!

Come in.

Ah.

It won't be the entire board,
just the important ones.

I can't wait to meet
the important ones.

Remember, you are attending for me.

Everything you say
will be for the benefit of me.

Stray from that,
there will be consequences.

Easy enough.

Gus, thank you for coming.

My pleasure.

Why are you here?

Carol asked me to come.

She told me
about you hacking her diary,

not turning up for the showcase.

What are you planning
to do in there?

Why do you always think
the worst of me?

Watch my make-up, watch my make-up!
OK, are you ready?

Yeah! I smell Claridge's!

SHE SCREAMS

Oh, bumper cars.

Yes. You girls know me so well.

Oh, babe!

Wait, this is what you used my card
for? Oh, my God, Rupert,

we will pay you back when we can!

When are you going to pay me back?

So tight right now.

Hey, fun, tacky but fun.

Bottoms up, OK.

Oh, wait. Do you think that we can
drink and drive on these?

We love fast cars!

Sure they'll be here any minute.

PHONE BUZZES

Um, do I have time to go
to the bathroom, please?

Be quick.

Thank you.

Hello.

Hey.

Yeah, I was just wanting
to call to say that

I wouldn't make it to your parents'
evening, but...

Nah, it's cool.
Mum's going to come with me.

Afterwards, I'm going to spend
a few nights at Mum's house.

Do that every week or something.

Grandma said to see how I get on.

Didn't want you finding out
from anyone else.

Do you, uh,
do you think that's a good idea?

Uh, yeah.

OK.

I just don't want you getting
attached and then she leaves again.

I'm just calling
to let you know, innit.

All right, bye.

They're here.
Make sure you stay in line.

Head Boy, good grades.
Why do you keep riding me?

Because you don't tell me
what's going on, Jaheim.

All the information
I get about you is through Carol.

Yeah, did Carol tell you that she's
been trying

to kick us out this whole time?

Hmm? Has she told you that she keeps
on riding us

since we've been here
just because we exist?

Yeah, you got us
this scholarship, thank you,

but, I mean, you ain't been here.
I have.

So, I'm going to tell
the board about Carol.

That's what this is all about.

I go in there, I schmooze some old
people, get them on side, job done.

OK, the board aren't
on your side, Jaheim.

You're not going to be turning
anyone against Carol,

so if that's your intention,
you might as well go home right now.

Yeah, well, if I don't go in there,
then I let those guys down

and I let Caleb down, even though
he doesn't need me any more.

I get that, but you're going
to feel uncomfortable as hell.

They're going to be prodding you for
your sad little stories

to make them feel good
about themselves.

It's not worth it,
and Carol will win.

Yeah, but Carol...
Leave it with me.

I'm the grown-up, you're the kid.

Go be one.

Are my strapping
young men ready to go?

Coming!

WHISPERS: God, I hate that woman.

HORNS BLARE

Taking forever.

Oya! Come on!

Going to be late.

My friend, take your long dangling
dry lips off the floor.

Do you know how many children
would die for an education

you're about to receive back home?

You are even lucky they have a
space for you to start on Monday.

Monday?! Your father said your
uniform arrived today even.

You can try it on
when we land tonight.

Aya! Come on!

Tonight? Oya, move, move, move,
move, move, move.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Are we going to the airport now?

Where did you think we was going,
eh? Eh? Disneyland?

Donkey, let him go!
Sloth, move your car!

Look at this donkey! Femi! Femi!

What are you doing?

Uncle, I'm sorry.
I can't do this right now.

I can't. Femi! You better come back
here now! I'm sorry, Uncle.

If I start running now...

My boy! Hey! Femi!

Come back here now! Femi!

You must stop this nonsense now!

When I get my hands on you I am
going to deal with you well, well.

Come here, frog.

What is this wizardry? Femi!

Femi! Femi!

Is this what they are teaching in
your school, eh?

Running around like a pig?

I don't want to go back.

Everything I know is here.

Please don't make me.

Yay God-o. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah. Uncle.

God, yeah, this boy
will kill me today.

Are you all right?

Ode ni e, do I look all right
to you?

Yeh, no, don't touch me, jare.

I'm going to call the ambulance. No,
no, no, no, no. Don't do that.

Don't do that. Just, just, just help
me up back to the car

before we miss your flight.

Oh! Uncle!
Why can't you just let me stay here?

Because you are failing!

The only reason I'm failing

is because I'm doing a subject
that my dad chose for me.

I'm not going to do any better
when I go to another country.

So, what needs to change? Because
these grades cannot continue.

Ask my dad to let me change
to a subject that I'm good at.

Like what?

Like...drama?

Jesus Christ. Jesu ba
mi s e! On the mountain...

Uncle, I am really good at drama.
You saw me.

He will say you end up being
a clown for a living,

while your friends are running
the country.

A school like mine,
it's about who you know.

The connections.

It's not only about the grades.

If I don't get good grades, I...

I don't get to stay, anyway.

So, you have to let me try.

I will talk to your father.

So, you're going to let me stay?

But you have one term
to turn this around.

Ah!

Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay, don't,
don't touch me, donkey! Help me up.

Hey. What's happening, bro?

What you doing here?
Ting done already?

Yeah. Yeah? Uh-huh.

How'd it go? Are we saved?

I didn't go.

So, not only are you not saved,
but I'm probably gone as well.

Brother, why?

I wanted to party, innit?

This guy.

In fact, I've got some business
to attend to.

Catch you later.

Happy birthday.

I thought you couldn't make it!

Yeah? Well, I changed my plans
cos I'm such a great friend.

Right!

So, where's my birthday gift?

I am the gift.

My presence is a present.

Is that Shakespeare? Yeah.

Yeah. This can be my birthday gift.

Never seen you drink.

What is it? Voddy.

Voddy for the body.

OK.

Yum!

Woo!

MUSIC: Bon Bon
by Fcukers

Where the hell is Jaheim? Oh, uh,
he said he wasn't feeling well.

Oh, bullshit!

He is trying to screw me over.

Everyone's expecting to meet him.

Making me look like a fool.

You fix this, Gus,
or I'm bringing him down with me.

Is this Jaheim having fun?

Are you surprised?

I just always thought you
were quite serious.

I thought you couldn't make it?

Well, uh, were you asking
for me or something?

No, no, I was not.

OK. Do you want a shot?

Oh, no, no, I'm OK.

Alex is getting me one.

Are you and Alex, like...?

OK, why?

Just making small talk.

All right. Sounds a lot like you
wanted to ask

if I was dating somebody, but you
would never just go right out

and ask me. No, no, no, that would
ruin the cool.

So, you think I'm cool?

Jaheim, I just never really got the
impression

that you liked me very much, so...
Really? Really. Yeah.

OK, well, I'm sorry
I didn't make you feel that way.

Cos I do. Well, did actually.

But that doesn't matter any more.

Hey, babes. You ready? Ah, yeah.

How you doing, mate? You good?

Good, you? Yeah, man. Good, good.

I'm going to go over there. Yeah.

Just going to go...

..do my thing.

Yeah, see you soon, yeah?

Yeah.

See you later. Yeah, see ya.

All right.

Yelena...

I, uh, did you, uh,

did you get a chance to look
at those numbers I sent you?

Mm-hm. For Unknown T? I did. Yeah.

Shame, right?
Breddah's going to brok the bank.

Might have to get Felix to enquire
about that skinny jean band

after all. The numbers are fine.
I'll pay from my own pocket.

Oh, really? It is double his fee.

I don't care.

To have him cancel now
is social suicide.

Right.

Nah, I completely understand.

Yes!
What are you both talking about?

Um, Spring Balls.

Mm. It's going to be epic.

Right, Toby? Right.

I actually can't wait.

It was insane last year.

Mm.

What, who performed last year,
again?

Oh, no, not cos of the act.

We all took molly,
and it became absolutely crazy.

Mm-hm. How crazy?

Oh, let me show you.

Um...

Ah, OK.

Is... This is just on your socials?

Yeah. I've never been so hungover
in my life.

This is my private account.

Mm, so hot.

Oh, that's what you wore?

Nothing on what
I'm wearing this year.

You should come round tonight,
and I'll show you.

Abby!

I think Carol needs to see this.

Toby, come on! Oh, my God,
look at this!

IN HEAD: It's a boarding school,
there's secrets everywhere.

Hey, roller-coaster that way, now!
Come now, come.

I ain't taking no... Don't make me
whack you with that cocktail.

Can I get some
attention from the birthday girl?

You never see him like this.

Why are we always
going on about Jaheim?

Well, no, I'm just happy for him.

It's just nice to see him
being so playful.

I got you something.

It's a big box for the Tiffany
earrings I asked for.

I bought the earrings as well.

This is something else.

OK.

I think you'll like it.

Is this Mummy's work?

This is me.

Do you like it? It's got all the...

You know, we went to the gig and...

It's funny, right? It's good.

The earrings are back at mine.

I've got those, this is just...

I thought you'd like this.

Cool, um,
I didn't know you kept them.

Yeah.

Bit out of character.

I was expecting a little bit more.

Thank, thank you.

Thanks. You know, just...
I was expecting a bit more.

Come on Florence, let's go.

I didn't know there was a way
to accept gifts.

Thank you.

I thought it was nice.

Oh, fuck off.

Fuck off, go and draw or something.

Boo!

Aargh! Fuck.

You OK?

Yeah.
LAUGHS WEAKLY

Oh. Just enjoying the view.

Between your legs?
Yep.

So, you've been enjoying your
birthday, then? Yeah.

It's been all right.

What, did Rupert not get you
the right pony?

No.

I wish it was that.

Well, listen,
I'm no relationship guru,

but it seems like you're
a little bit checked out.

I sort of miss the Rupert
that was a bit of a prick.

This...

..chocolate-and-picture-frame Rupert
is a bit annoying.

So, why don't you just dump him?

I'm not just dating Rupert.

I am dating the Watlington-Geese
family.

Oh, I see, I see.

One must not just dump
one's partner,

one must consult one's
whole entire family.

One's, one's, one's.

Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa. Yes.

The whole Head Girl, A-star,
hockey thing

is all towards something, Jaheim.

I've worked too hard to just
chuck it all away

because of a shitty relationship.

So, if I have to play the dutiful
girlfriend to get a glowing

reference from Carol, then so be it.
Yeah.

But, um, well,
if it makes you feel any better,

I've pretty much gone
and fucked up my whole future, so...

Is this why we're getting
the reckless Jaheim?

I wouldn't really call him that.

Maybe just, um...

..a little less overthinking Jaheim.

What about Beatrix?

That's dead.

There is no me and Beatrix
any more.

Ask her. She's with Alex.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to me.

Florence! Florence, where are you?

Shit.

Florence wait, Florence, hey.

Wait, wait, wait.

Um, thank you for the amazing party.

It's OK.

See you later.

Bye.

You forgot your... Shit.

Want to come back to mine?

I'm really tired,
but I'll see you tomorrow.

Thank you for a fab birthday.

Femi, what are you doing back here?

I'm sorry for coming to your house,
but I wanted to tell you...

Yeah, this is where you tell me,
Femi.

My uncle's going to let me stay.

Ah, that's great.

Yeah, I convinced him to let me
change my course to drama.

Uh, but can you help me with that?

You know, talk to Carol?

Yeah, of course.

Thank you.

But am I good?
Like, you're not messing with me?

You're good, Femi.

Like, this isn't some diversity
thing for you.

Because if this doesn't work,
I am done.

My family don't play games,
and I can't be embarrassing myself.

I can't just magic it
out of nothing.

It's down to you.

Do you think you can do it?

Y-yeah.

I'm sorry, I can't hear you.

Yes.

I'm so fucking proud of you!

You worked so hard.

Right, I'll see you
in class tomorrow.

See you. Go on.

Night.

Ah, that was such a fun party.

What the fuck happened to you?

Have you been here this whole time?

Why haven't you taken back
her laptop?

I was going to.

But hear me out.

You said you wanted to know who
this Megan girl is.

I know. It's her girlfriend.

How have we gone from looking for
your stolen book

to you stealing her laptop?

Are you the crazy one?

No, she still could have
stolen the book.

I'm saying that if she's lying
about having a girlfriend,

it means she could be lying
about the book.

This is evidence.

Evidence. Exactly.

She's going to know you
were in her room.

Oh, my God, don't steal
from the crime scene, Leah!

Oh, I'm sorry I don't know
the ins and outs

of breaking and entering, Abby.
I just need to tell Mabel.

Tell her what?

That you stole her
girlfriend's laptop

and went through her personal
shit like a psychopath?

Take it back. Take it back.

Don't say a word and pray to God
that no-one finds out.

Hey, Leah. Hi.

I didn't misplace it.
I left it right here.

And look, someone's been going
through my stuff.

I mean, who would steal
my laptop from me?

I'm really nice.

Yeah, like, the nicest person
I know.

You look burst.
how you feeling?

I jammed, man,
why did I drink so much?

You had fun, though. Urrgh!

Looking like you're pushing out some
demons or something, bro.

Mm, something like that.

What you doing? What's that?

A likkle love letter to Carol trying
to get your Head Boy spot back?

No, I don't care about that.

This is, um, a summer school
application for MIT in the States.

Yeah, I was pushing it back before
cos I thought I'd want to be here

for Caleb, but he don't need me any
more, so...

Yeah, this is the only thing
I wanted for myself.

That's hard, fam.

Well, I need a recommendation
from Carol.

I'm drunk and it was due at, like,
midnight, so...

Yeah, it's over.

It's calm, though.

It's not midnight in Massachusetts.

Which is why
I am delighted to write this

letter of recommendation
for our Head Boy, Jaheim Marsham.

Delighted?

Delighted sounds too frilly,
you know what I mean?

Kind of makes you sound like a...

Like a white woman,
which is what Carol is.

Just let me write the damn ting.

Come wake me out of my bed say
I can't use the word delighted.

Char. Peace.

Big O, how are you getting on?

Good. It's just, morally
I feel kind of...

Bro, this is the last of
the headed paper we've got.

So, don't fuck it up.

You lot really love me, innit?

BEEPING
Oh!

What now?

Femzino.

Still clear, oga.

Done. Lovely.

You're up. Ah!

Make sure when you send it from
Carol's account, delete that email.

Tick tock, tick tock.

Done.

I love you guys.

Oh, what did he say?
I said, I love you guys.

I can't lie, that's a Y.

Who's there? Hello?

Hello! Who's that?!

Till we have built Jerusalem

In England's green
and pleasant land.

Be seated.

I have some great news
to announce this morning.

It has been confirmed that

Master Ashford will not be
returning.

And as of yesterday,

I have been officially appointed
to lead St Gilbert's.

This morning marks my first
assembly as your headmistress

on permanent tenure.

First order of business.

My attention has recently been
brought to the debauched affairs

that took place at last
year's Spring Ball.

So...

What the fuck?

..I have decided to cancel
the event.

Such...

MURMERS OF DISAPPROVAL
Thank you.

Such behaviour is not welcome,

and definitely not encouraged
at St Gilbert's.

KNOCKING

Come in.

You let me down.

A lot of important people
were expecting you.

Gus covered for you, but I won't.

It's been an honour.

Mum, I don't want to be Head Boy.

It is a privilege.

For who? Literally everyone who
works with you is miserable.

You know, the day I was forced
to step down

was the best day of my life.

You are Head Boy, Felix,
and you will like it.

Take that look off your face,
you're not five.

PHONE BUZZES

Someone's having a good day?

Something like that.

So good to see Femi's back.

I'm glad we bumped into each other.

I think this writer-in-residence
position has run its course.

As headmistress,
I have to make difficult decisions.

I do hope you understand.

You'll have to leave sooner
rather than later.

Yeah, it'll probably be later.

By the way, I came to see you
earlier, but you weren't in.

But I was able to get
your shredder working.

Just give me a shout
if you need help with anything else.

Hey. You've been avoiding me.

I thought I'd come over and, uh,
we could talk.

Yeah, well, I kind of have to be
somewhere right now. Oh, I see.

Secret Raisinette Alliance.

Where's my sketchbook?

I came here to talk and you're
worried about a sketchbook.

I left it here this morning.

I come back and...

Do you think I took it?

Well, it's got Raisinette stuff
in it.

And I know how much you wanted
to be in the Raisinettes.

You got in, I didn't, shit happens.

Look, if you have it,
just give it back, please.

And then we can forget about it,
and we can move on.

Screw you, Omar,
and your little cult.

I'm glad that book is gone,

and I hope that whatever dirty
secrets are in there, come out.

SCREAMS

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