Original subtitles

- Hello? - Yes, hello.

I'd like to know if your rental contract includes an exclusivity clause.

- What's that? - I didn't say earlier...

as it was humiliating enough,

but I'm going to demand a refund.

And what happened?

Your Lupin...

...he two-timed me last night.

He brought along another woman?

No. He found her there.

Me with the Champ

- Where are you going? - To work.

You're not going back there.

We're broke but not humiliated.

- What's up? - This prick, Mathieu.

I'll make him eat his beret.

Who cares about him? What matters is that I've got work.

You're doing it.

- Doing what? - Escort.

You're doing it.

- What are you saying? - My God, Ludo. Look at us.

We're pitiful. Look at you,

with your disgusting dungarees.

I don't let Lucas have brand-name yoghurts.

I don't know, do something.

Go on! Be an escort. Try it.

And bring some money to pay the mortgage.

You want me to sleep with other women? Nora?

I just can't do it.

Imagine it's a role, an acting game, no feelings,

- it's just technical, it's fine. - I don't want to cheat on you.

It's not cheating if I tell you to do it.

I can approve it.

Do it for us.

It could save our marriage.

- How did it go last night, alright? - Yeah.

Do some of them not turn you on?

Sometimes, yeah.

How do you get it up?

I concentrate on something I like.

The shape of her breasts.

Her hands, often.

- Her hands? - Yes.

The smell of her skin, too.

Then I focus.

Do you have trouble?

No.

I think of someone else.

Of your ex?

Yes.

Does it help if it's someone you love?

Yes.

You could at least congratulate your mother on her award?

Twenty years of work.

- Well done, Mum. - Thank you.

Great.

Is that all you can say? Can't you talk to her and tell her?

What do you want me to say? Huh?

Getting ill from cleaning toilets for twenty years.

You want me to be happy she received a medal?

- Seriously? - You have no respect for anything!

I want some respect!

What do you want me to do with my life? Huh?

Carry bags? Be someone's lackey? You want that?

- I want you to earn a living. - I want a life!

Not a shitty life like yours.

You know what?

Start by learning respect.

I want you gone.

I'm going, anyway.

I'm going.

Mum.

I'm fucking leaving!

And don't come back!

Hey! I won't carry people's fucking luggage.

People will carry mine!

- Is he in the back room? - Yes.

Did he come often?

Yeah, your Dad always put him in there.

I'm with you guys. I'm in.

- How's that? - Call me The Bear.

Or if that's too cuddly, we could change it.

- Seriously? - Yeah.

Oh, man.

That's great!

- Does Nora know? - Yeah, don't worry. I sorted it.

- That's cool. - Yeah.

But will you be able to do it?

Seven years married.

Do you think I need some training?

- Let's go. - Whoa.

Come on, Ludo.

How's this?

What are you doing?

That really is complete shit.

- I'm the woman; you're going to pull me. - OK.

You're a sexy chick.

- I am a hot babe. - Yes.

- Seriously? - I'm so sorry.

- It's fine, no need to apologise. - OK.

- That's it. - OK, yeah.

Now you're the boss. That's it, boss.

- Feel free to hold my arse. - OK.

That's it, good. Now the back of my neck, gently.

- No, gently. I'm not a bull. - I'm sorry.

I'll show you, OK? As I'm afraid that you'll hurt me.

Hop the hand...

...you've got all the time in the world with the hand here.

You see, you can touch here.

- Are you going to snog me? - Fucking hell, no!

- I'm not going to kiss you! - You were so close man.

Get into a position like this and swing her around.

- Of course, I get it. OK. - Oh.

- Shit, was that a judo throw? - I'll help you out.

Oh my God, listen, guys.

An official announcement.

First client for The Bear.

Ludo, hey?

Don't stress, OK? This customer is perfect for you.

OK.

- What if she falls in love? - Don't get carried away.

When you make love to a woman, she gets attached.

No. I mean just, no. OK?

She's placed an order, OK? And you're just providing a service.

OK.

What if she wants to be kissed?

Then kiss her, bro.

OK fine, but do I kiss her with or without tongue?

However you like, who cares? Don't worry about it.

Yeah, but I do worry about it.

Using tongues is really intimate and what if I...

...catch an STD.

Oh.

Hey, there's a very old invention called the condom.

- Heard of condoms, Ludo? - Yes, condoms.

- Make sure you get the condom back. - Why?

Imagine she wants your kid?

Another baby, Ludo.

I can't do that. No!

Up till now I could, but now I can't.

- It won't happen like that. - Calm down.

Please sit down.

- Are you calm? - Yeah.

You're worrying because you lack self-confidence.

No, it's not a question of confidence.

It's getting the condom back. Did you hear what he said?

Alright, don't get it back. Just don't come.

No. I'm sorry!

I'm a family man. I've got a parent-teacher meeting today.

- I can't. - Stop. You can't leave.

Ludo! Hey, Ludovic!

Hey, this woman chose you from your photo. OK?

- She chose The Bear. Not us. - You're unique.

This is about more than sex.

You fit a special niche.

Men like you are all the rage nowadays. Women love a dad bods like yours.

- What's a dad bod? - I don't know.

- The body of a dad. - Well, obviously. I am a dad--

Women are reassured by a dad bod.

Some women don't really like sex bombs.

You'll make them feel good.

Mmm.

- She's right. - Yeah.

Hey?

- You're a niche. - Yeah.

- OK? - When did you last turn someone on?

Come on.

Ludo, don't forget to get into the mind of The Bear.

I sold you as wild but mysterious.

The client will be waiting at home at 6 p.m. sharp.

It's going to be fine, OK? Knock them dead.

Good evening, Madam.

Hello, The Bear.

Oh, that's so good.

That's so fucking good.

Oh, fuck yes.

You like that, yeah?

Did you find the entrance?

Yes, the door was open, so I--

Get comfortable.

Yes.

I just meant your jacket.

Yeah, just my jacket.

- What are you doing? - Oh, you've fucked my livestream.

You're putting honey on your nipples? Seriously?

Yeah, they pay good money for that.

Are you a complete idiot? That's competition for us.

It's not competition, it's advertising. Thank you.

- Oh - Wow, get you.

- Thank you. - This one's better.

And you're meeting at the town hall.

Have you done your homework? Charly, answer me.

- What? - Pimping isn't your job.

A pimp takes 80%, you know? So maybe I should up my commission.

Charly, don't let this go to your head. We're not in a film.

- We're just paying off our debts. - OK. Don't be late.

We need to talk about your client yesterday.

What are you doing?

Do you think I'm a bum?

Don't leave us again.

Don't leave.

Hello, I'm Bea. You're Victor.

- I'm not. I'm-- - You're Victor, who's in love with me.

We met in Capri this summer, but I was too busy to see you.

- OK. - You own three sports clubs,

you are an engineer, you box,

and can break someone's wrist with one hand.

- You follow me? - Fabulous.

Yes.

- We're having dinner with my boss - Yes.

- ...the sales manager. - Mmm.

- We have a big property operation. - Right.

A single woman of my age always raises eyebrows in the working world.

Which is why you're here.

You can hold my hand,

maybe kiss me on the neck, but never on the mouth.

OK.

After dinner, we'll go up to my room, but won't sleep together.

And then you'll just quietly sneak out.

If they ask you too many questions, embroider--

Don't worry, I'm an actor. I can improvise.

No. Don't improvise.

Just say as little as possible,

stand up straight, eat nicely, and you'll be fine.

Shame as I was going to eat like a pig, and then show my arse at the table.

- My sense of humour may be inappropriate. - I got it, but don't.

OK.

It's going to be fine. Really!

Wait.

Calm down.

Take it slowly.

Caress me.

You can kiss me.

- Don't you have a tongue? - Yes.

- It's there. - Ah.

- Is it me? - No.

No. You're really beautiful.

I don't know, I'm a bit tense.

Are you married?

Yes.

As you are?

Yes.

Sorry, I wanted to take it off, but...

...it's been there for years. So I couldn't.

- Is it not a happy marriage? - Yes, very happy, in fact.

So what am I doing here?

You're contributing to that happiness.

And this is beautiful.

That's a really nice cake.

Did you make it?

I bought it.

- That was delicious. - Yes.

This isn't good. Did you choose this restaurant?

Yes. I heard you really liked it.

Well, I don't think I'll have dessert,

- because that was heavy enough already. - Yes.

Ah well, then I'll ask for...

Darling, don't worry. The waiter will be back, OK?

Yes, of course.

You look good as a blonde.

Oh, well.

I prefer your hair down.

Yeah, well.

Well, I think you look wonderful, as always.

Hair up or down, you're beautiful.

You seem very sensitive to hair-related matters.

And that...

...makes me wonder.

Will you do anything about your baldness?

Hmm... sense of humour.

I know some places, too.

It might be a bit late though,

but for you, a bit of prevention could help.

So are you a hairdresser, Victor?

No, my business is sport.

Gyms, and getting into shape if you're interested.

Relaxation. I have a big project on.

- Can I tell them? - Yes.

It's a big project,

for a detox retreat near Arles, in the countryside.

Ah, and you're looking for investors, I suppose?

No, not at all,

because I sold my last business for a very good price.

A platform of digital B2B. It was a good deal.

- Oh, yeah? - Mmm.

And at this moment, I'm looking for a nice pied-à-terre.

So I was browsing your site, but nothing deluxe,

which was a shame.

No, what we do is at the very top of the market, you see.

Right, that must have been well hidden.

I'll have another look.

- I'll show you. - Mmm.

I'd like that.

- We're dry, I think? - Yes.

- Oh no, but darling. - No.

I'll see to it.

OK?

Oh, well.

It's the first-time effect. That's why.

Well, no. I've slept with plenty of women.

Even several women at a time.

But I mean it's the first time for money.

Yes, but that's no excuse.

No, I don't understand.

Maybe I wanted it too much.

I wanted you too much. I was too keen to... you know?

- You're very pretty. - No.

That's very sweet of you.

It's just because you were worried.

Afraid you'd go soft,

so you came quickly to save your honour.

- Really? - Believe me.

I'm a doctor.

And I have been around.

You're sweet.

Am I?

The envelope on the table is for you.

- I feel bad, I didn't even-- - Don't worry about it.

I'll give you a bit back.

I loved being your first time.

Don't focus on performance.

Just be yourself.

Well, hi, Titanic!

- That was really quite a performance. - Yeah.

Especially the second time.

Not so bad, huh?

Was that a joke?

Where are the cameras? I thought I was on TV.

What? I don't understand.

Listen, Titanic, the reason I chose you

was because I wanted some vigour, some force...

...some youth. Ooh, la la.

Not Speedy Gonzales.

A good performance, though--

I didn't want an espresso,

and decaffeinated, too.

I was rock solid.

You want to talk about it?

Oh, this Generation Z!

You don't know how to take the time over things.

You're always in a hurry.

You consume, yes!

But your taste is bad. You know?

Modern man wastes his time trying to save it.

Ah...

Modern... wastes his...

...hey, I like that.

I'm not your mother.

No, but if I want to progress and improve--

Well, listen kitten it's me paying! Huh? I'm not training you, too.

Want your money back?

- Oh, I think so. - Mmm.

And not only will you give it back,

but you'll pay me.

Because I'm going to teach you a thing or two.

Have a shower and come back.

You're going to get the best lesson of your life. Guaranteed!

- Thank you. - Thank you, who?

- Thank you, Madam. - Voila.

Mmm... nice arse.

These young kids...

Bullshit!

You went too far.

The thing about the hair...

...And you kissed me.

- Can I speak my mind? - No, I'm not interested.

OK, I'll tell you anyway.

Those arseholes treat you like shit and you shouldn't take it.

Yes, I know they're rude and weak.

Rude and weak? They can criticise you , but you have to keep quiet?

Good old misogyny, alive and well.

My God, I don't remember paying for a lecture.

Sadly, that is the world of work for women,

and they pay me very well.

Thank you. Very well.

So you're saying we can accept anything for money?

- You're telling me that? - Yes.

But you're a whore.

But I have limits.

And I'm in control.

Well, so am I. Don't worry.

Here, take it.

You can go. There.

Don't go out the front door; you mustn't be seen. Make sure.

Thank you. Goodbye.

Can you stay a while?

After all this time, I should have a loyalty card.

- A loyalty card? - Mmm.

More an infidelity card.

No, you fuck me. My husband makes love to me.

What's the difference?

It's not the same.

If he fucked me, you wouldn't be here.

OK.

- The next time you call me... - Mmm.

...I'll make love to you.

Do you know how to do that?

- I was a little bit tense. - No.

- No. - Yes.

She stresses me out. Anything to do with work...

- No, leave it between friends? - Yes?

You should meet my wife.

Well, I'll let you in on a secret.

I've actually decided to dump her.

I haven't told her yet, but yeah.

A little secret between the boys.

Hey.

They're good for business.

But how are they good for business? By emptying the tills?

That's good business?

I've been so patient with you, Mika,

but you're just the same as your father.

How did this happen?

Tokens?

I'll be right back.

OK?

The important thing is that you remember what the four main lexical fields...

- ...Are you listening? - Don't you want to screw?

Oh for fuck's sake. I don't believe it.

Believe what? I don't understand you.

We have no future together. We're just mates, so why don't we screw?

- Why are you pressuring me? - What pressure?

I'm not pressuring.

- But my future wife will be a virgin. - Huh?

She'll expect things. She'll have the internet.

- For watching porn, you mean? - Of course. What do you think?

All women watch porn. They know.

And all men are little babies.

You think she'd want her wedding night to be like a porn film?

- You idiot! - You're really sexy when you get angry?

You've got a vein right here that pops out.

I give up.

- Alright, princess? - Yes.

- They let you in? - I told them that I was your wife.

How did it go with your client?

Doing this is not normal.

What's normality?

It's having feelings,

falling in love.

You know?

Right, I want a drink.

- Two shots! - Two.

Mimi.

- Well, what? - I've thought about you all week.

Careful, baby; don't get too attached.

- Can I show you something? - What will it cost me?

- It's a present. - Present?

- A little present. - Oh, yeah?

But, Titanic...

No.

- Oh, come on! - No.

Just one!

Oh, what's this?

- Do you like it? - Don't stop, or I'll kill you!

Oh, Mamia!

Oh!

That's so good!

Oh, my God!

Another one! Go. Whey!

I approve.

I so approve.

Ah!

because, it's such a pain. That frigid old spinster thing.

- On the other hand, she makes us laugh. - Mmm.

She's so naive. It's not true.

The best approach is to ignore her. Drives her mad, huh?

- Hey, when we took away her bonus. - Oh, yeah.

She thought it was her fault.

That put an end to her feminism. After that, she kept her mouth shut.

But that's the good thing about feminism.

No, because they're so keen to prove that they're equal to us.

- They're ready to do anything! - Thank you!

- That's not bad. - I can assure you.

- But you have to admit that she's hot. - Oh, yes.

- And that arse... - Wait, easy, Martin!

No, he's right. She's got a great arse. I'm with her mainly for her arse.

Voila. Right you are, Sir!

Do you like that kid at the bar?

Leave it out. He's just a friend. Stop it!

It's not true!

Hey, what do you do when you really like a girl?

I don't ask for money.

No, I ask for the money.

No, but I mean it.

You just feel it.

So, like this?

What are you doing? Stop!

I'm practising.

- I'll go and talk to him. - No!

- Yes. - No!

My little sulky girl.

You still smell like a baby.

Do you know what our biggest stroke of luck was?

- No? That she didn't have that baby. - Oh, yeah.

- Yeah. - Yeah. It saved our lives.

And, if I remember correctly, you were putting a lot of pressure on her.

Wait, she's the one who wanted to work more.

She used to give us guilt trips if she left the office before 10 p.m.

Yeah, maternity leave. Do you know how much that costs?

What is management?

It's getting the best out of the best...

Bea, we were just talking about you.

I'm sorry, I didn't think it would get that bad.

You fat little piggies.

Hang on, Bea. What's going on?

What beats me...

...is who's fooled by your little game.

Certainly not your wives, who are only there for the money.

Because between the limp dick and the premature ejaculator,

they need some reason to stay, poor things.

Maybe we little women shouldn't talk at the hair salon.

Now, let's all calm down, OK?

Ah, here we go, you're going to accuse me of being hysterical, right?

Well, gentlemen...

...thank you very much for the marvellous time

I've had drinking with two misogynists,

who should be sued for harassment.

But the good news is, you'll be able to do your own mea culpa.

Mmm?

Yes, a little film, which will be very useful

on the company intranet. Mmm?

A little hello to your colleagues?

Martin.

- Shall we go? - Yes.

Ogle my arse, and I'll kill you.

Nice improvising.

- Which you don't like. - Mmm.

Mmm.

Thank you.

Hey, no ogling my arse.

I can see you.

- Nora? - Mmm?

- Nora? - Mmm?

Nora?

I'm all yours.

Tell me what you want.

Err... there?

Yes, there... here.

Right now.

Well, now... sleep?

Sleep?

- I'm exhausted. - Really?

Night, darling.

Goodnight, my love.

Hi, this is Romane. Please leave a message.

Hello. Why are you calling so late?

At last! We've been waiting so fucking long for this.

This is it! You've landed that part for the TV series! Finally!

So come to the office tomorrow and we'll talk about the contract.

Congratulations, darling! Love you!