All language subtitles for Corner Gas Animated S03E11 Tinsel-itis 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,752 --> 00:00:04,630 [♪♪♪] 2 00:00:04,922 --> 00:00:05,923 You're leaving early? 3 00:00:05,965 --> 00:00:07,550 I gotta finish stringing up my lights. 4 00:00:07,591 --> 00:00:09,885 This'll be my biggest Christmas display yet. 5 00:00:09,927 --> 00:00:11,178 It'll make Rockefeller Center 6 00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:13,013 look like a stack of used diapers. 7 00:00:13,055 --> 00:00:14,682 God bless us, every one. 8 00:00:14,724 --> 00:00:15,933 Wait, I thought you said 9 00:00:15,975 --> 00:00:17,476 the electricity bills killed you last year. 10 00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:18,394 They did, 11 00:00:18,436 --> 00:00:19,645 but I figured out a work-around, 12 00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:21,188 so it won't cost me anything. 13 00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:22,231 What's that you're wrapping? 14 00:00:22,273 --> 00:00:23,607 It's a gift for Lacey. 15 00:00:23,649 --> 00:00:27,069 We decided to do a co-quasi semi-business partner 16 00:00:27,111 --> 00:00:28,279 Christmas present swap. 17 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,197 Just a small thing. It's nothing special. 18 00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:31,949 Well, I'm sure she'll like it. 19 00:00:31,991 --> 00:00:32,992 As long as it's something personal. 20 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:33,826 Personal? 21 00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:34,994 Yeah. 22 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,037 Something meaningful and unique to her, 23 00:00:37,079 --> 00:00:38,414 and not just a piece of jewelry. 24 00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:40,499 You got her jewelry. 25 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:41,667 It's not jewelry. 26 00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:44,587 Is a bracelet jewelry? 27 00:00:44,628 --> 00:00:48,424 ♪ You think there's not a lot goin' on ♪ 28 00:00:48,466 --> 00:00:51,677 ♪ Look closer, baby you're so wrong ♪ 29 00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:54,638 [♪♪♪] 30 00:01:02,438 --> 00:01:03,564 How's it coming? 31 00:01:03,606 --> 00:01:06,525 Everything ready for the Christmas Eve party? 32 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:07,943 Not even close. 33 00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:08,819 Good. 34 00:01:08,861 --> 00:01:09,737 Wait, 35 00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:11,155 not close is not good. 36 00:01:11,197 --> 00:01:13,365 Better shake a leg, woman, it's tomorrow night. 37 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,493 I might call the damn thing off. 38 00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:16,368 Like hell! 39 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,913 That's how I feel-- like hell. 40 00:01:18,954 --> 00:01:21,207 My head is pounding, and I got chills. 41 00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:22,541 Well, have some tea, 42 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:23,209 or rum, 43 00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:24,877 or suck an onion. 44 00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:26,420 I look forward to this party 45 00:01:26,462 --> 00:01:27,379 every year. 46 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,715 That's because all you do is party. 47 00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:31,133 I do all the prep, 48 00:01:31,175 --> 00:01:32,384 all the running around, 49 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,678 all the cooking, and all the cleanup. 50 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,639 I'm too sick to do everything. 51 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:37,973 If you don't do your share, 52 00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:39,850 there's no party this year. 53 00:01:39,892 --> 00:01:41,143 [♪♪♪] 54 00:01:41,185 --> 00:01:42,394 Hey, Lacey, can I get a coffee? 55 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,480 Sure, just help yourself. 56 00:01:44,522 --> 00:01:46,398 I'm knitting a Christmas sweater for Brent, 57 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,609 and I'm in a bit of a panic to get it done. 58 00:01:48,651 --> 00:01:49,902 It's December 23rd. 59 00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:51,111 Doesn't give you much time. 60 00:01:51,153 --> 00:01:53,197 Yeah, that's probably what the panic is about. 61 00:01:53,239 --> 00:01:54,740 I screwed up the moose pattern 62 00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:55,616 on the front 63 00:01:55,658 --> 00:01:56,784 and had to start over. 64 00:01:56,826 --> 00:01:58,577 [static crackles on police radio] Karen? 65 00:01:58,619 --> 00:01:59,411 Davis? 66 00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:00,246 [static crackling] Karen? 67 00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:01,914 Can you-- --me? 68 00:02:01,956 --> 00:02:02,790 Can I what you? 69 00:02:02,832 --> 00:02:03,999 [static crackling] I said 70 00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:05,751 I need to talk to you about what we're-- 71 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:08,087 Jeez, this static is terrible. 72 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,589 Might be the batteries in your radio. 73 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:13,676 Or first contact with an alien civilization. 74 00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:16,720 There are billions of galaxies in the universe, 75 00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:19,265 so it makes sense there'd be another civilization out there 76 00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:21,016 wanting to make contact. 77 00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:22,810 [static crackling in time with flashes] 78 00:02:24,395 --> 00:02:27,356 Or it could be something else. 79 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:28,983 Heya. 80 00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:29,859 Nothing! 81 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,485 Okay, then. 82 00:02:31,527 --> 00:02:32,945 Listen, I was just wondering-- 83 00:02:32,987 --> 00:02:34,613 Hey, what's with the moose? 84 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:35,531 Nothing! 85 00:02:35,573 --> 00:02:36,365 Just a moose. 86 00:02:36,407 --> 00:02:38,617 Regular old Christmas moose. 87 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:39,660 Christmas moose? 88 00:02:39,702 --> 00:02:40,703 What's that? 89 00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:42,663 You never heard of the Christmas moose? 90 00:02:42,705 --> 00:02:44,456 It's a big thing back home. 91 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:45,541 Big tradition. 92 00:02:45,583 --> 00:02:47,626 The Christmas moose holiday tradition 93 00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:48,460 is a thing... 94 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:49,461 in the city. 95 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,589 And you like this moose thing, 96 00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:52,506 personally? 97 00:02:52,548 --> 00:02:53,799 Big time. 98 00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:55,843 Love the Christmas moose. 99 00:02:55,885 --> 00:02:56,927 [clears throat awkwardly] 100 00:02:56,969 --> 00:02:58,762 Hmm... 101 00:02:58,804 --> 00:02:59,597 [♪♪♪] 102 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,683 [door opens] 103 00:03:02,725 --> 00:03:03,767 Hey, Hank. 104 00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,352 You ever heard of a Christmas moose? 105 00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:06,145 No. 106 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,813 Oh, unless you mean goose. 107 00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:08,814 Do you mean goose? 108 00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:10,566 You probably mean Christmas goose. 109 00:03:10,608 --> 00:03:12,860 Right, I keep forgetting not to ask you things. 110 00:03:12,902 --> 00:03:13,861 [door opens] 111 00:03:13,903 --> 00:03:15,654 Oh, hey, Dad. We're closed. 112 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:16,864 Tough turnips. 113 00:03:16,906 --> 00:03:18,741 Your mother gave me a list of crap I gotta get 114 00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:20,159 for our Christmas Eve party. 115 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,994 I'm so sick and tired-- 116 00:03:22,036 --> 00:03:22,870 You're sick? 117 00:03:22,912 --> 00:03:23,913 What? 118 00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:24,830 You shouldn't be running around 119 00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:25,956 if you're sick. 120 00:03:25,998 --> 00:03:27,416 Want me to give you a hand? 121 00:03:27,458 --> 00:03:28,417 Y-yeah... 122 00:03:28,459 --> 00:03:29,543 [coughs] 123 00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:30,669 I'm sick as hell. 124 00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:33,172 Oh, god... got the shakes, and the sweats, 125 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,132 and the... the bends, 126 00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:36,550 but I couldn't bear 127 00:03:36,592 --> 00:03:38,385 to see Emma doing all the work. 128 00:03:38,427 --> 00:03:40,262 Aw, you're a good guy, Oscar. 129 00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:41,513 Give me the list. 130 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,390 You rest up. 131 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,935 You ever heard of Christmas moose? 132 00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:47,019 Yeah. 133 00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:48,854 You ever heard of Easter, Jughead? 134 00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,147 It's moments like this 135 00:03:50,189 --> 00:03:51,857 that make the holidays special. 136 00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:53,901 [♪♪♪] 137 00:03:53,943 --> 00:03:55,027 [hammering] 138 00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:57,237 That's good stuff, Hank. 139 00:03:57,279 --> 00:03:59,698 When you've got the wreath hung, 140 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,158 I have a couple of other things-- 141 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:02,242 [coughing pointedly] 142 00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:04,870 --that need doing. 143 00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:06,246 What's all the noise? 144 00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:07,706 Oh, sorry, Emma. 145 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,541 I don't know how to hammer quietly. 146 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:12,044 Why are you hammering at all? 147 00:04:12,086 --> 00:04:13,754 Just hanging this wreath for Oscar. 148 00:04:13,796 --> 00:04:15,714 I'm helping him with the chores you gave him, 149 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:16,715 'cause he's sick. 150 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,884 Oh, he is, is he? 151 00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:21,178 Now, hold on, before you get-- 152 00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:22,805 He caught it from me. 153 00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:25,015 I'm sick too. [coughs] 154 00:04:25,057 --> 00:04:26,392 If you're finished out here, 155 00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:28,560 come give me a hand with the dishes. 156 00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:29,645 [slams door] 157 00:04:29,687 --> 00:04:31,355 [♪♪♪] 158 00:04:31,397 --> 00:04:34,400 Hey, Phil, you ever hear of a Christmas moose? 159 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,402 Lacey says it was a tradition in her family. 160 00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:38,445 No, never heard of it, 161 00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:42,157 but every family has their own weird holiday traditions. 162 00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:44,118 In my family, we used to take stockings, 163 00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:45,536 like for feet, 164 00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:47,913 and hang them on the fireplace! 165 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,164 Hmm, that's not very-- 166 00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:51,166 Then we'd bring a tree... 167 00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:52,876 into the house! 168 00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:53,752 [laughs] 169 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:54,586 Outrageous. 170 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:55,504 Isn't it? 171 00:04:55,546 --> 00:04:57,673 I miss those traditions. 172 00:04:57,715 --> 00:04:58,924 Wait, that's it! 173 00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:00,926 Lacey is away from her family, 174 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:03,262 so she's missing all her old Christmas traditions, 175 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,888 like her moose thing or whatever. 176 00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:06,015 I'm going to find out 177 00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:07,391 what other traditions she grew up with, 178 00:05:07,433 --> 00:05:09,685 so I can give her a Christmas like she remembers. 179 00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:12,187 That's a personal, unique gift, right? 180 00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:17,192 ...and then we'd make a drink out of raw eggs! 181 00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:18,110 [laughs fondly] 182 00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:19,111 Thanks, Phil. 183 00:05:19,153 --> 00:05:20,821 You've been inadvertently helpful. 184 00:05:20,863 --> 00:05:23,115 ["Deck the Halls" playing] 185 00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:24,742 [♪♪♪] 186 00:05:28,287 --> 00:05:29,288 Bad news, Wanda. 187 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,622 Your Christmas light display 188 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:33,083 is causing interference with our radios. 189 00:05:33,125 --> 00:05:34,835 Good news, World War II is over, 190 00:05:34,877 --> 00:05:35,836 and we won. 191 00:05:35,878 --> 00:05:36,962 You can put your walkie-talkies away 192 00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:37,796 and use your phones. 193 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,131 This is serious. 194 00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:40,424 We have a job to do, 195 00:05:40,466 --> 00:05:41,800 and you can't be interfering 196 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:42,760 with our equipment. 197 00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:44,678 This is way too many lights anyway. 198 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,930 The electric bill must be huge. 199 00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:47,973 It was, 200 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,433 but I rigged up my own grid box 201 00:05:49,475 --> 00:05:50,893 that amplifies a direct current 202 00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:52,269 using semi-coil conductivity 203 00:05:52,311 --> 00:05:53,312 running parallel 204 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,397 with an aggregated magnetization panel. 205 00:05:56,774 --> 00:06:00,319 So... there's no IQ test to be a cop? 206 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,613 They just give a gun to anybody? 207 00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:03,822 Hmm. 208 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:04,865 [circuits surge] 209 00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:08,285 [static crackling on radio] 210 00:06:08,327 --> 00:06:10,412 [scoffs] Well, there's the problem. 211 00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:12,915 Hey! 212 00:06:12,956 --> 00:06:14,416 Thanks for understanding. 213 00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:17,336 Are you kidding me? 214 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:20,172 Thanks a lot, Sergeant Scrooge and Officer Grinch! 215 00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:22,132 The cops hate Christmas! 216 00:06:22,174 --> 00:06:23,258 Pass it on, everybody, 217 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,302 the cops hate Christmas! 218 00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:27,346 We don't hate Christmas. 219 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,681 We love Christmas! 220 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:30,432 Yeah! 221 00:06:30,474 --> 00:06:31,934 Probably more than you! 222 00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:33,185 [car doors slam shut] 223 00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:35,354 [quietly] Oh, you love Christmas, do ya? 224 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:38,023 Well, we'll just see how much you love it. 225 00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:40,734 Mwa-ha-ha-ha! 226 00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:47,449 [♪♪♪] 227 00:06:47,491 --> 00:06:50,035 [cell phone rings] 228 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:51,578 [groggily] Hmm? Huh? 229 00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:53,997 13 rockets are too many. 230 00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,040 What? 231 00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:56,875 Hank, is that you? 232 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,377 Oh. 233 00:06:58,418 --> 00:06:59,461 Hey... Hey, Emma. 234 00:06:59,503 --> 00:07:00,754 Yeah, you got caught up 235 00:07:00,796 --> 00:07:02,673 in the tail end of a dream there. 236 00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:05,676 A platypus was trying to sell me some rockets, 237 00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:07,970 but the floor of my castle was already melting. 238 00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:10,639 Listen, I have some last-minute things 239 00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:12,933 that you need to get done for our party tonight. 240 00:07:12,975 --> 00:07:14,059 Me? 241 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,602 But it's Christmas Eve. 242 00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:16,395 Yeah. 243 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:17,729 It's a Christmas Eve party. 244 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:20,399 But I have a bunch of my own stuff to do. 245 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,318 My lights aren't up, I still need a tree... 246 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,611 [coughing dramatically] 247 00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:26,155 Don't bother him, Emma. 248 00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:28,073 I'll do it. 249 00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:29,158 Just help me up. 250 00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:31,827 I-I fell down again from the dizziness. 251 00:07:31,869 --> 00:07:35,414 I can't lift you, Oscar, my spleen is swollen. 252 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:36,373 [coughing] 253 00:07:36,415 --> 00:07:37,583 Your spleen? 254 00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:38,500 Just push it back in. 255 00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:39,501 I'll be right over. 256 00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:43,505 What the hell? 257 00:07:43,547 --> 00:07:45,465 When did this happen? 258 00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:46,758 Early this morning! 259 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,219 I know how much you guys love Christmas. 260 00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:51,096 More than anyone, probably! 261 00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:54,433 So I figured this would be a nice holiday surprise. 262 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,143 You can't do this. 263 00:07:56,185 --> 00:07:57,769 That's what I thought, too, 264 00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,646 but it was actually super easy. 265 00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:01,648 A couple of cans of spray adhesive, 266 00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:02,983 a dozen boxes of tinsel... 267 00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:04,318 How are we supposed to-- 268 00:08:04,359 --> 00:08:05,611 You're welcome! 269 00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:08,780 Merry Christmas, Christmas lovers! 270 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:09,865 [cackles] 271 00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:12,075 -[mumbling helplessly] -How do we...? 272 00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,454 How's Brent's sweater coming? 273 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,122 I'm in the home stretch now. 274 00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:18,790 It's really starting to take shape. 275 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,959 And you're sure you got all his measurements right? 276 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,127 Measurements? 277 00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:24,588 I never even thought about measurements. 278 00:08:24,630 --> 00:08:27,007 I was just going from the standard pattern. 279 00:08:27,049 --> 00:08:29,801 Brent's body isn't what you'd call "standard." 280 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,303 Oh, no. 281 00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:32,888 How am I gonna get his measurements 282 00:08:32,930 --> 00:08:34,640 without tipping what I'm doing? 283 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,516 Merry Christmas Eve morning. 284 00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:37,476 Hi! Yeah. 285 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:38,852 I was just, um... waffles? 286 00:08:38,894 --> 00:08:39,561 Cool. 287 00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:40,771 Um, so, listen, 288 00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:42,898 I was just thinking, for no reason, 289 00:08:42,940 --> 00:08:45,108 about what other holiday traditions 290 00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:46,652 your family maybe had. 291 00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,028 Just a casual thought, 292 00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:50,155 sparked for no reason by what you said yesterday. 293 00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:52,616 Oh, and what did I say yesterday? 294 00:08:52,658 --> 00:08:54,117 About the Christmas moose. 295 00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:54,952 Oh! [laughs] 296 00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:55,953 Yes. 297 00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:56,828 The moose. 298 00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,664 The Christmas moose tradition. 299 00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,874 It was a big thing, uh... 300 00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:02,167 in the city. 301 00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:04,711 We'd see who could lure the biggest moose, um, 302 00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,505 into the downtown core, 303 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:10,092 and the largest would be crowned Christmas Moose. 304 00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,260 Wow, that... 305 00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,011 A lot could go sideways in that scenario. 306 00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,346 One year, we had a moose 307 00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:16,098 whose antlers were wider 308 00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:19,476 than you could probably stretch your arms out. 309 00:09:19,518 --> 00:09:21,144 Stretch your arms out. 310 00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:22,062 Yeah. 311 00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:23,438 Way bigger than that. 312 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,483 Well, no human could reach across a whole moose. 313 00:09:26,525 --> 00:09:27,526 How high can you reach? 314 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,194 Maybe half a moose. 315 00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:30,904 No, no, this has to do with the ceremonial-- 316 00:09:30,946 --> 00:09:33,573 you know, the changing of the lightbulbs? 317 00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:35,951 From white bulbs to red. 318 00:09:35,993 --> 00:09:36,868 Christmas red. 319 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,370 Someone would reach up and-- 320 00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:39,913 How high can you reach? 321 00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:42,749 Red lights, eh? 322 00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:45,210 Okay, the wine is mulled, 323 00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,712 the potatoes are peeled, 324 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:47,921 the stuffing is prepped. 325 00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:49,214 Anything else? 326 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:52,050 Well, if the stuffing's prepped, 327 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,385 you should probably... 328 00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:54,553 Really? 329 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,430 You want me to stuff the turkey, too? 330 00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:59,141 You don't expect us to handle raw poultry 331 00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:00,559 when we're already swarming 332 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,729 with God knows what kind of bacterial mega-virus. 333 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:05,814 Our immune systems are teetering 334 00:10:05,856 --> 00:10:09,318 on the brink of a total E. coli vortex. 335 00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:10,569 Oh no! 336 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,487 I heard about that on the Weather Channel. 337 00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:16,366 Uh, I-I guess my Christmas can wait. 338 00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:21,496 Maybe have to wait until next Christmas. 339 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,832 [♪♪♪] 340 00:10:23,874 --> 00:10:25,917 It's hard to get respect as a cop 341 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,961 when your car looks like a... 342 00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:29,796 I'm gonna say flapper dress. 343 00:10:29,838 --> 00:10:31,381 I was gonna say disco wig. 344 00:10:31,423 --> 00:10:32,591 Ooh, Donna Summer. 345 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,301 Hubba hubba. 346 00:10:34,343 --> 00:10:35,594 Maybe we should get a hair dryer, 347 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,512 melt the glue and blow off the tinsel. 348 00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:39,431 Or we could take this baby 349 00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:40,599 out on the highway, 350 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,684 and let nature do the blowing. 351 00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:44,269 Hit the siren, rookie. 352 00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:48,440 ["Good King Wenceslas" plays from siren speaker] 353 00:10:48,482 --> 00:10:50,192 [flicking switch] 354 00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:52,611 I think the siren's frozen. 355 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,363 That's a Christmas song. 356 00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:55,447 It won't stop. 357 00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:57,032 How did this happen? 358 00:10:57,074 --> 00:10:58,992 [brakes screech] 359 00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:00,660 Wanda happened. 360 00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:02,496 She's everywhere. 361 00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:03,455 She's like an elf on the shelf, 362 00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,040 only on the sidewalk, 363 00:11:05,082 --> 00:11:06,958 and smaller. 364 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,294 I see you discovered my gift. 365 00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:10,796 How do you shut it off? 366 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,130 I can't hear you! 367 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,549 I can only assume you're thanking me. 368 00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:16,051 You're welcome, 369 00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:19,596 and Joyeux Noel, Christmas lovers! 370 00:11:19,638 --> 00:11:22,641 Boy, those two sure love Christmas, huh? 371 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:25,477 [♪♪♪] 372 00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:26,812 Why the puzzled look? 373 00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:27,896 Huh? 374 00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:29,439 Oh, I'm just reviewing a list I made 375 00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:30,690 for Lacey's Christmas gift. 376 00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:34,611 Uh, not sure where you're going with this. 377 00:11:34,653 --> 00:11:35,862 Lacey grew up 378 00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:37,614 with some weird Christmas traditions. 379 00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:40,283 We had some doozies in our family, too. 380 00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:41,493 When I was a kid, 381 00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:44,204 we used to put food out for Santa. 382 00:11:44,246 --> 00:11:47,416 Now, Santa was a magical northern wizard who-- 383 00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:48,834 I know who Santa is! 384 00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:49,751 What do you people-- 385 00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:52,170 This is just a partial list. 386 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:53,505 I need more info, 387 00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,507 but how do I talk to Lacey 388 00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:56,925 about her traditions 389 00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,427 without her getting suspicious? 390 00:11:58,468 --> 00:11:59,428 [footsteps approach] 391 00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:00,720 Brent... 392 00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:01,930 I just realized 393 00:12:01,972 --> 00:12:03,640 there were some other Christmas traditions 394 00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:05,559 I forgot to tell you about. 395 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,018 Oh, that worked out really-- 396 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,437 Do you know about the chimney 397 00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:09,521 and the reindeer? 398 00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,189 Thank you, Fitzy. 399 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:12,566 You were saying? 400 00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:14,484 I forgot to mention the moose call. 401 00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:15,360 A moose calls you? 402 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:16,695 No. 403 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,364 When we tried to lure the moose into the city, 404 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,699 we'd use a moose call. 405 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,576 That makes sense, right? 406 00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:25,412 Not "sense," necessarily, but if you-- 407 00:12:25,454 --> 00:12:27,914 [bellows a moose call] 408 00:12:27,956 --> 00:12:28,623 Jeez! 409 00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:29,624 Why don't you try? 410 00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:31,543 O-Okay. 411 00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:32,961 Barroo-- 412 00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:34,087 [choking] 413 00:12:34,129 --> 00:12:36,214 You need to tighten your throat more. 414 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:37,799 Wow, you have a big neck. 415 00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:40,051 That's about three hand lengths? 416 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,386 Barroo-- 417 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:42,220 Whoa, whoa! 418 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,138 What are you...? 419 00:12:43,180 --> 00:12:44,181 I was just thinking 420 00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:46,224 that you're about the same size around 421 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,601 as, uh... 422 00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:49,227 the watermelon... 423 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:50,479 we decorate. 424 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:51,771 We wrap it in lights 425 00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:53,231 and put stickers on it, 426 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,816 and, uh, glitter? 427 00:12:54,858 --> 00:12:56,234 "Glitter melon." 428 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,110 What? 429 00:12:57,152 --> 00:12:58,111 I was just saying, 430 00:12:58,153 --> 00:13:00,405 I'm, uh, I'm gonna go close up early. 431 00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:01,573 I have to get ready 432 00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:03,033 for Mom and Dad's Christmas Eve party, 433 00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:04,826 and I have a lot to do before then. 434 00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:05,744 [chuckling] Yes. 435 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,746 I also have a lot... 436 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:11,958 of cafe-related things to do as well, mm-hmm. 437 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,629 Maybe we can call a truce. 438 00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,756 We have no leverage to negotiate. 439 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:20,425 What does Wanda want? 440 00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:21,468 All she wants 441 00:13:21,510 --> 00:13:22,511 is to turn on her light display 442 00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:23,887 without going broke. 443 00:13:23,929 --> 00:13:26,681 We just give back her power-saving gizmo. 444 00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,266 Then she'll leave us alone. 445 00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:30,727 Because she'll have her lights back on. 446 00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:32,854 Wanda, we brought back your-- 447 00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:34,105 What the hell? 448 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,607 ["Deck the Halls" playing] 449 00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:38,026 Her lights are already back on. 450 00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:39,402 Now what? 451 00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:40,820 Now we're Scrooged. 452 00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:47,953 [♪♪♪] 453 00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:49,913 She turned her lights back on. 454 00:13:49,955 --> 00:13:52,666 Do you know what this means? 455 00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:55,001 Yes, but... I want you to say it. 456 00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:57,629 We've lost our leverage with Wanda. 457 00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:58,713 Right. 458 00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:00,131 Wait, why is that power cord 459 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,133 running away from her house? 460 00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:09,808 You mess with our walkie talkies, 461 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,893 you festively sabotage our car, 462 00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:14,354 and now you steal power from the town. 463 00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:16,147 I got desperate, okay? 464 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,900 I mean, what's Christmas without twinkly lights? 465 00:14:18,942 --> 00:14:20,652 I'm sorry about the tinsel, 466 00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:21,820 and the caroling siren, 467 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,154 and the nog bombs. 468 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:23,822 I just wanted-- 469 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,699 Wait, nog bombs? 470 00:14:25,740 --> 00:14:26,741 They didn't go off? 471 00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:27,951 [timer beeping] 472 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,579 Huh, my watch must be fast. 473 00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,539 Congratulations, Wanda. 474 00:14:32,581 --> 00:14:33,623 You're getting yourself 475 00:14:33,665 --> 00:14:36,918 a big fat Christmas ticket. 476 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,337 Well, nice work, Sergeant Krampus 477 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:40,630 and Officer... 478 00:14:40,672 --> 00:14:43,675 Old Man Potter from "It's a Wonderful Life"... 479 00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:45,051 if he was a cop! 480 00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:47,220 I'm taking all my lights down! 481 00:14:47,262 --> 00:14:48,763 You happy now? 482 00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:52,225 ["Good King Wenceslas" playing tinnily from siren speaker] 483 00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:55,312 [squeaking] 484 00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:59,774 [engine starts, car drives away] 485 00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:01,276 What are you grinning at? 486 00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:05,030 Everything's almost ready, 487 00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:06,865 but I feel like I'm forgetting something. 488 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:10,702 Just come and have a rum and eggnog, huh? 489 00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,537 We'll sit by the tree, and... 490 00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,372 Holy Hanukkah! 491 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:15,832 We don't have a tree! 492 00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:17,500 So long, Nick. 493 00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:20,003 Maybe next year. 494 00:15:21,546 --> 00:15:22,756 Leaky Santa? 495 00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:24,507 I got a patch kit in the glove box. 496 00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:25,759 He's not leaking. 497 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,303 He's been decommissioned by fascists. 498 00:15:28,345 --> 00:15:29,596 Now Christmas sucks. 499 00:15:29,638 --> 00:15:31,014 Christmas doesn't suck. 500 00:15:31,056 --> 00:15:33,642 Sure, it can be tough sometimes. 501 00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:35,018 Take Oscar and Emma. 502 00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:37,145 I had to do all their prep work for their party, 503 00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:38,730 and they're too sick to do it. 504 00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:39,981 Anyway, I better get going. 505 00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:41,232 I barely have time 506 00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:42,984 to get my own tree and decorations up. 507 00:15:43,026 --> 00:15:44,361 [cell phone rings] 508 00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:45,236 [groans] 509 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:45,987 Hank talkin'. 510 00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,572 Hank, is that you? 511 00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:49,074 I'm so weak. 512 00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,784 Oscar? What's wrong? 513 00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:51,743 It's Emma. 514 00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:53,078 [coughs dramatically] 515 00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:56,539 In her fevered state, she forgot to get a tree. 516 00:15:56,581 --> 00:15:58,124 Sure, blame me. 517 00:15:58,166 --> 00:15:59,000 What? 518 00:15:59,042 --> 00:16:01,961 I said, I blame me, 519 00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:03,546 and my fever. 520 00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:04,881 [coughs dramatically] 521 00:16:04,923 --> 00:16:08,426 So I guess we'll just do without one this year. 522 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:09,636 Wait! 523 00:16:09,678 --> 00:16:11,763 I happen to have a tree with me right now. 524 00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:13,598 I'll be right over. 525 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,475 You're giving them your tree? 526 00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:17,060 What about your Christmas? 527 00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:20,105 Ah, the holidays are more than trees and lights. 528 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,107 They're about helping people. 529 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,775 You're a better person than I am. 530 00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:24,943 If that was me, 531 00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,152 I'd tell 'em to cram a candy cane 532 00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:27,487 and kiss my chocolate orange. 533 00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:28,780 That's the spirit. 534 00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:30,240 Merry Christmas, Wanda. 535 00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:32,951 What a sap. 536 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,620 A sweet, stupid sap. 537 00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:37,789 [♪♪♪] 538 00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,040 Well, I appreciate 539 00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:40,959 being invited over for a drink 540 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,502 before your parents' party, 541 00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:44,796 but why do I have to keep my eyes closed? 542 00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:45,839 You'll see. 543 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:48,633 Just come in a little further... 544 00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,468 and open! 545 00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:51,845 [yelps in fright] 546 00:16:51,886 --> 00:16:53,722 [blows vuvuzela horn] 547 00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:54,806 [yelps again] 548 00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:57,058 Sorry, I can't do a proper moose call, 549 00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:58,810 so I had to improvise. 550 00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:00,979 Wh-what is all of this? 551 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,480 This is your present! 552 00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,733 I tricked you into answering questions 553 00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:06,109 about your holiday traditions, 554 00:17:06,151 --> 00:17:07,652 and then cleverly wove them 555 00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:09,988 into this personalized gift, 556 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,281 and also the Christmas watermelon. 557 00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:13,283 Won didn't have any melons, 558 00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:14,784 so I spray-painted a pumpkin. 559 00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:16,035 I see. Um-- 560 00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:17,162 But the hat rack lamp 561 00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:19,289 is authentic antlers and bones. 562 00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:21,833 Gus hit a moose on the highway last night. 563 00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:23,668 It's a Christmas miracle! 564 00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:26,004 [laughing] 565 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,005 What's so funny? 566 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,173 First of all, 567 00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:30,633 I cunningly made up these traditions 568 00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:31,676 to measure you 569 00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:34,220 so I could make you this gift. 570 00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:35,722 The only Christmas moose 571 00:17:35,764 --> 00:17:37,515 is the one on this sweater, 572 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:38,725 which I knitted for ya, 573 00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:39,768 all by myself. 574 00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:42,020 Wait a minute, you lied to me, 575 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,855 while I was just fibbing to you? 576 00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,190 Oh, shut up and try it on. 577 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,692 Oh... 578 00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,569 Are you sure you measured me, 579 00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:50,862 and not someone else? 580 00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,030 Like, from a circus? 581 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,282 All right, it needs a few adjustments, 582 00:17:54,324 --> 00:17:56,242 and the moose kinda got away from me. 583 00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:57,786 It sort of looks like a moose. 584 00:17:57,827 --> 00:17:59,412 Moose-slash-Satan. 585 00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:01,247 It-it's probably just the red lights. 586 00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:02,624 Yeah, well, the red lights 587 00:18:02,665 --> 00:18:05,460 aren't doing your lamp rack any favours either. 588 00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:06,669 You're right. 589 00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:08,004 Ah, I'm sorry. 590 00:18:08,046 --> 00:18:09,339 I just really wanted 591 00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:11,299 to give you something personal this year. 592 00:18:11,341 --> 00:18:12,258 Aw... 593 00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:15,011 I wanted to do that for you, too. 594 00:18:15,053 --> 00:18:17,305 Well, look, we both tried, 595 00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:19,140 and we both fell a bit short, 596 00:18:19,182 --> 00:18:21,434 so we're good, right? 597 00:18:21,476 --> 00:18:22,227 Agreed. 598 00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:23,311 Now, how about a drink? 599 00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:25,438 I made a batch of pumpkin-spiced rum. 600 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:26,940 Oh, yeah, well, 601 00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,441 you know, I think I'm just gonna have wine. 602 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:31,319 Wanda? 603 00:18:31,361 --> 00:18:32,654 What are you doing at my place? 604 00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:34,614 I came over here to do this. 605 00:18:34,656 --> 00:18:35,573 Brace yourself. 606 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:36,616 [rag squeaks] 607 00:18:36,658 --> 00:18:37,867 Ugh. 608 00:18:37,909 --> 00:18:40,078 This car's gonna smell like rotten nog forever. 609 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,663 Not on my watch. 610 00:18:41,704 --> 00:18:42,664 Behold... 611 00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:44,874 the festive freshener. 612 00:18:44,916 --> 00:18:47,085 Merry Christmas, partner. 613 00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,045 Merry Christmas. 614 00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:51,422 Wow, that's really getting bright. 615 00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:54,092 No, that's coming from outside. 616 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,635 Oh, no. 617 00:18:55,677 --> 00:18:57,136 Probably aliens. 618 00:18:57,178 --> 00:18:59,430 [Christmas carols playing] 619 00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:00,139 [Hank] Whoa! 620 00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:01,599 You did this? 621 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:02,600 For me? 622 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:03,518 Remember how I told you 623 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,603 you're a better person than I am? 624 00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:06,646 Guess you're not. 625 00:19:06,688 --> 00:19:08,022 Suck it, Yarbo! 626 00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:09,274 [chuckles] 627 00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:10,608 And Merry Christmas. 628 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:11,776 This is amazing! 629 00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:13,027 Surfing Santa, 630 00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:14,362 and a Christmas flamingo, 631 00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:16,781 and a disco ball, and... 632 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,616 Uh, I'm not sure what that is. 633 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:19,450 It's a tangle. 634 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,536 I didn't have a lot of time. 635 00:19:21,578 --> 00:19:23,037 Nice lights, Hank. 636 00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:24,080 I bet they're enjoying this 637 00:19:24,122 --> 00:19:25,707 on the International Space Station. 638 00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:27,208 Oh, it's so pretty. 639 00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:28,543 What's that bundle of lights? 640 00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:30,044 It's a Christmas tumbleweed, okay? 641 00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:31,421 A what? 642 00:19:31,462 --> 00:19:33,298 You've never heard of the Christmas tumbleweed? 643 00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:34,841 It's a country thing. 644 00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:36,134 ["Good King Wenceslas" police siren approaching] 645 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,803 Cheese it! The cops. You never saw me. 646 00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:40,346 [cell phone rings] 647 00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:41,806 Feliz Navidad, Dad. 648 00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,725 Fleece yourself, jackass! 649 00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:45,101 Where the hell are you? 650 00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:46,311 And where's everyone else? 651 00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:47,645 The party's ready to go. 652 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:48,730 It is? 653 00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:50,565 Hank told Wanda you guys were sick, 654 00:19:50,607 --> 00:19:51,983 so Wanda arranged 655 00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:53,359 to have the party at Hank's place. 656 00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:55,361 But we have everything ready here! 657 00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:57,405 This is the best party of the year. 658 00:19:57,447 --> 00:19:59,157 [sarcastically] Oh, thanks a lot, Hank! 659 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,158 [innocently] You're welcome. 660 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,492 Rest up and get well soon. 661 00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:02,827 [Oscar]: But we-- [beeping off phone] 662 00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,038 Warms your heart, doesn't it? 663 00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:06,497 [♪♪♪] 664 00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:11,669 [murmur of conversations] 665 00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,379 [doorbell rings] 666 00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:17,175 Merry Christmas! 667 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:20,178 Turns out we're feeling better. 668 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,472 Must've been one of those 12-hour bugs. 669 00:20:22,513 --> 00:20:24,349 Anyway, we brought some food. 670 00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:25,391 Oh, that's great. 671 00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:27,310 You can set it up in the kitchen. 672 00:20:27,352 --> 00:20:28,519 We have to set it up? 673 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,563 You said you were feeling better, right? 674 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:32,815 Uh, what's this? 675 00:20:32,857 --> 00:20:33,858 I feel bad 676 00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:35,568 for the nightmare moose rack gift, 677 00:20:35,610 --> 00:20:36,402 so I figured 678 00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:37,362 I'd give you the present 679 00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,614 I originally planned on giving you. 680 00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:41,449 [gasps] 681 00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:42,700 [groans] 682 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:43,868 You're angry. 683 00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:44,953 I get it. 684 00:20:44,994 --> 00:20:46,871 Jewelry is such an impersonal gift. 685 00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:48,164 [sighs] I love it! 686 00:20:48,206 --> 00:20:49,540 Aw, you big dumb jerk. 687 00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,626 You're welcome, and I'm sorry? 688 00:20:51,668 --> 00:20:52,752 What's happening? 689 00:20:52,794 --> 00:20:55,713 Okay, when we both exchanged crappy gifts, 690 00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:56,798 we were even. 691 00:20:56,839 --> 00:20:58,883 Then you go and give me something great? 692 00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:00,134 Thanks a lot, Brent. 693 00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:02,011 Merry stinkin' Christmas. 694 00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:04,639 I don't know why 695 00:21:04,681 --> 00:21:06,057 you just didn't give her the bracelet 696 00:21:06,099 --> 00:21:07,350 in the first place. 697 00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:09,102 Why don't you stop talking until the New Year? 698 00:21:09,143 --> 00:21:11,562 [♪♪♪] 699 00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:15,233 ♪ I don't know ♪ 700 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:16,818 ♪ The same things you don't know ♪ 701 00:21:16,859 --> 00:21:20,321 [xylophone accompanies with "Jingle Bells"] 702 00:21:20,363 --> 00:21:22,824 ♪ I don't know ♪ 703 00:21:22,865 --> 00:21:25,660 ♪ I just... don't know ♪ 704 00:21:28,204 --> 00:21:30,289 ♪ Ooh... ♪ 705 00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:31,916 ♪ Have a holiday moose ♪ 706 00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:34,002 ♪ Fa-la-la-la... ♪ 707 00:21:34,043 --> 00:21:35,461 ♪ Some glitter pumpkin juice ♪ 708 00:21:35,503 --> 00:21:37,922 ♪ Fa-la-la-la... ♪ 709 00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:39,757 ♪ We love all of youse ♪ 710 00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:42,301 ♪ This I know ♪♪ 46168

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.