Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:15,798 --> 00:00:16,581
Freeze!
2
00:00:18,061 --> 00:00:19,236
I mean, stay.
3
00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:21,543
Boy, that GPS tracking tag
we put his collar
4
00:00:21,586 --> 00:00:22,544
really works.
5
00:00:22,587 --> 00:00:24,850
That's a good boy.
6
00:00:24,894 --> 00:00:26,069
Thanks.
7
00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:27,810
I was talking
to the dog.
8
00:00:27,853 --> 00:00:29,551
Come on, Hunter.
Let's get you home.
9
00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:30,856
Wanna go for a ride, buddy?
10
00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:32,162
Sure. Where are we going?
11
00:00:32,206 --> 00:00:33,990
Nope, still the dog.
12
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:37,646
♪ You think there's
not a lot goin' on ♪
13
00:00:37,689 --> 00:00:40,736
♪ Look closer, baby
you're so wrong ♪
14
00:00:53,444 --> 00:00:55,359
So scaring the kitty
with vegetables
15
00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:56,926
is your idea
of a good time?
16
00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:58,623
Why is the cat
afraid of a cucumber?
17
00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:00,582
Kale is far more
terrifying.
18
00:01:00,625 --> 00:01:02,018
Where do you find
this stuff, Mom?
19
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,324
Mew Tube.
20
00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:06,109
The only place to find
all the cute cat videos.
21
00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:08,372
Yeah, 'cause cat videos
are a real rarity
22
00:01:08,416 --> 00:01:09,460
on the Internet.
23
00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:11,158
It's just harmless
good fun.
24
00:01:11,201 --> 00:01:13,421
If you want good fun,
it needs to be harmful.
25
00:01:13,464 --> 00:01:14,813
The funniest videos online
26
00:01:14,857 --> 00:01:16,728
are dudes getting
sacked in the 'nads.
27
00:01:16,772 --> 00:01:18,121
Timeless classic.
28
00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:19,079
There's
an entire website
29
00:01:19,122 --> 00:01:20,167
dedicated to it
30
00:01:20,210 --> 00:01:21,690
called "Hard
in the Nards."
31
00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:24,301
Mom, maybe don't Google
"Hard" or "Nards."
32
00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:25,998
People getting hurt
isn't funny.
33
00:01:26,042 --> 00:01:27,522
It's just plain stupid.
34
00:01:27,565 --> 00:01:29,089
Well, stupid's
where it's at online.
35
00:01:29,132 --> 00:01:30,220
Here, let me
show you one
36
00:01:30,264 --> 00:01:31,830
that's the best
of both worlds.
37
00:01:31,874 --> 00:01:32,744
It's a video of a cat
38
00:01:32,788 --> 00:01:33,963
clamped onto
a guy's crotch.
39
00:01:35,747 --> 00:01:36,574
Uh-oh.
40
00:01:39,925 --> 00:01:41,492
Aah! Where did you all--
41
00:01:41,536 --> 00:01:42,493
This is an outrage!
42
00:01:42,537 --> 00:01:43,799
I'm in a Facebook
flame war.
43
00:01:43,842 --> 00:01:45,583
Interrupting
my sexy chats!
44
00:01:45,627 --> 00:01:47,063
Whoa, whoa.
45
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:49,457
Can someone rational
please explain what's going on?
46
00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,154
I don't know
where you think you--
47
00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:52,503
I said "someone rational."
48
00:01:54,244 --> 00:01:55,202
You'll have to do.
49
00:01:55,245 --> 00:01:56,551
This massive,
50
00:01:56,594 --> 00:01:58,205
but not out-of-character,
overreaction
51
00:01:58,248 --> 00:01:59,989
is because
the WiFi is down.
52
00:02:00,032 --> 00:02:01,251
You need to reboot
your router.
53
00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:02,383
Ah.
54
00:02:02,426 --> 00:02:04,298
Okay, that sounds
reasonable.
55
00:02:04,341 --> 00:02:06,082
WiFi should be
back up in a jiffy.
56
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:06,952
Aah!
57
00:02:06,996 --> 00:02:08,476
My god.
58
00:02:08,519 --> 00:02:10,826
What else happens in this town
when my back is turned?
59
00:02:10,869 --> 00:02:11,783
Don't ask questions
60
00:02:11,827 --> 00:02:13,437
you don't want the answers to.
61
00:02:13,481 --> 00:02:16,571
Why is everyone so upset
about my WiFi being down?
62
00:02:16,614 --> 00:02:18,007
They didn't even
stick around to use it.
63
00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:19,487
Oh, uh, we don't
have to be here
64
00:02:19,530 --> 00:02:20,792
to use your WiFi.
65
00:02:20,836 --> 00:02:21,967
You don't?
66
00:02:22,011 --> 00:02:22,881
Where does it reach?
67
00:02:22,925 --> 00:02:25,971
Main Street, bar,
my bathroom.
68
00:02:26,015 --> 00:02:27,973
Kinda weak in my basement.
69
00:02:28,017 --> 00:02:30,019
My WiFi can't travel
that far.
70
00:02:30,062 --> 00:02:31,325
No, no.
71
00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:32,804
That's why we installed
the signal booster.
72
00:02:32,848 --> 00:02:34,197
The what?
73
00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:36,895
You mean I'm paying
for the entire town's WiFi?
74
00:02:36,939 --> 00:02:38,810
We paid for
the signal booster!
75
00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:40,682
And everyone
knows about this?
76
00:02:40,725 --> 00:02:42,510
Everyone but you,
apparently.
77
00:02:42,553 --> 00:02:44,033
We thought you were
okay with this.
78
00:02:44,076 --> 00:02:44,947
Yeah.
79
00:02:44,990 --> 00:02:46,035
Why are you shocked
80
00:02:46,078 --> 00:02:47,776
that people are using
your open WiFi?
81
00:02:47,819 --> 00:02:48,864
Brace yourself:
82
00:02:48,907 --> 00:02:50,518
they use your ketchup
and napkins too.
83
00:02:50,561 --> 00:02:52,476
Yeah, when they're here.
84
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:55,218
These are free things
for paying customers.
85
00:02:55,262 --> 00:02:56,698
We are customers.
86
00:02:56,741 --> 00:02:58,961
Just sometimes,
we're customers at home.
87
00:02:59,004 --> 00:03:01,485
Yeah, we're not all
married to our careers.
88
00:03:03,748 --> 00:03:06,621
If I turn around again,
will you all disappear?
89
00:03:09,711 --> 00:03:12,931
I promise this
won't happen again.
90
00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:15,369
You're right.
91
00:03:15,412 --> 00:03:17,806
That GPS tag made it
a real time-saver.
92
00:03:17,849 --> 00:03:19,111
Just think,
93
00:03:19,155 --> 00:03:20,939
if we tagged
everyone in town,
94
00:03:20,983 --> 00:03:23,159
we'd always know
where everyone was.
95
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,987
That would make
our job way easier.
96
00:03:25,030 --> 00:03:26,858
Except that would be
a highly illegal
97
00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:28,947
and massive
invasion of privacy.
98
00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:30,384
Oh. Right,
99
00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:31,646
but consider this:
100
00:03:31,689 --> 00:03:32,864
I assumed
you'd be on board,
101
00:03:32,908 --> 00:03:34,997
and I've done it
already.
102
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,347
Ah! Aah! Oh! Aah!
103
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,222
It's not even
a cute cat.
104
00:03:42,265 --> 00:03:43,658
Or a cute crotch,
105
00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:45,312
but look at how many
views it's gotten.
106
00:03:45,355 --> 00:03:47,270
I just don't see
what the point is.
107
00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:48,315
The point is,
108
00:03:48,358 --> 00:03:49,751
sometimes you can make
a lot of money
109
00:03:49,794 --> 00:03:51,709
and get famous from
a single dumb video.
110
00:03:51,753 --> 00:03:52,841
You can?
111
00:03:52,884 --> 00:03:54,146
Ready to go?
112
00:03:54,190 --> 00:03:56,758
Let's get our stupid on.
113
00:03:56,801 --> 00:03:58,238
Hmm....
114
00:03:59,978 --> 00:04:01,110
Time to make
a wish.
115
00:04:08,683 --> 00:04:09,597
Hmm...
116
00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:14,950
Watching you
with technology
117
00:04:14,993 --> 00:04:16,299
is more entertaining
118
00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:18,083
than these videos
I'm enjoying...
119
00:04:18,127 --> 00:04:19,128
for free...
120
00:04:19,171 --> 00:04:20,738
on your open WiFi.
121
00:04:20,782 --> 00:04:22,697
Enjoy it while you can,
122
00:04:22,740 --> 00:04:25,395
'cause I'm putting
a password on this thing.
123
00:04:25,439 --> 00:04:26,701
As soon as I find its keyboard.
124
00:04:26,744 --> 00:04:28,006
Great,
125
00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:29,530
looks like I'll just have
enough time to watch
126
00:04:29,573 --> 00:04:31,314
the entire
Lord of the Rings trilogy.
127
00:04:32,794 --> 00:04:34,926
The director's cut.
128
00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:36,232
How on earth
129
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,452
did you manage to tag
so many people?
130
00:04:38,495 --> 00:04:40,410
I gave them
friendship bracelets.
131
00:04:40,454 --> 00:04:43,152
The GPS tags are in the charm.
132
00:04:43,195 --> 00:04:44,327
If they're
friendship bracelets,
133
00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:45,894
why didn't you give me one?
134
00:04:45,937 --> 00:04:47,199
You're a work friend.
135
00:04:47,243 --> 00:04:48,766
Don't make this weird.
136
00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:51,203
You can't track people
without them knowing.
137
00:04:51,247 --> 00:04:54,555
This is really,
really, really illegal.
138
00:04:54,598 --> 00:04:57,906
If it helps the police,
how illegal can it be?
139
00:04:57,949 --> 00:05:00,169
I said three "reallies."
140
00:05:00,212 --> 00:05:01,301
When we're in the car,
141
00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:03,259
we have the right
to surveil people.
142
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,347
What's the difference
143
00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:06,218
doing it from
the comfort of our desks
144
00:05:06,262 --> 00:05:08,830
using technology in way
that it wasn't intended?
145
00:05:08,873 --> 00:05:09,700
Because it's--
146
00:05:09,744 --> 00:05:10,788
Hang on.
147
00:05:10,832 --> 00:05:12,355
That's Rheena,
Michelle, and Mavis.
148
00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:13,356
At Rheena's.
149
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,402
What are they up to?
150
00:05:15,445 --> 00:05:16,925
Maybe they're
a girl gang.
151
00:05:16,968 --> 00:05:18,535
That's everyone
from book club.
152
00:05:18,579 --> 00:05:20,450
They said it was
cancelled this week.
153
00:05:20,494 --> 00:05:22,800
Probably discussing
"Let's Get Together
154
00:05:22,844 --> 00:05:24,367
and Back-Stab Our Friend."
155
00:05:24,411 --> 00:05:25,325
Yech,
156
00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:26,630
that's a terrible
title.
157
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,504
Just think,
158
00:05:30,547 --> 00:05:32,941
we could become huge
Internet celebrities.
159
00:05:32,984 --> 00:05:35,160
I could be bigger than
that epic mealtime guy!
160
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,860
I'm comin' after
your viewers, Harley!
161
00:05:39,643 --> 00:05:41,253
Who the hell is Hank Yarbo,
162
00:05:41,297 --> 00:05:43,343
and how is he stealing
all my viewers?
163
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,606
Whoa...
164
00:05:45,649 --> 00:05:47,956
He took that puck in the nuts
like a champ.
165
00:05:47,999 --> 00:05:50,393
I'm inspired.
166
00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:51,481
Hey, guys!
167
00:05:51,525 --> 00:05:53,265
We're making a giant burrito.
168
00:05:53,309 --> 00:05:55,964
It'll be a hockey bag
full of pucks and nuts,
169
00:05:56,007 --> 00:05:57,574
covered in gravy.
170
00:05:57,618 --> 00:06:01,361
I'm calling it... the Yarbo.
171
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:04,320
Hey!
172
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,234
I was still musing!
173
00:06:05,277 --> 00:06:06,366
It's my turn.
174
00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:07,541
I'm going to be bigger
175
00:06:07,584 --> 00:06:09,630
than vlogging sensation
Casey Neistat.
176
00:06:11,762 --> 00:06:13,460
Ah, I can't concentrate,
I'm too excited.
177
00:06:13,503 --> 00:06:14,504
Okay, let's do this.
178
00:06:14,548 --> 00:06:15,723
Spread your legs,
179
00:06:15,766 --> 00:06:16,811
and pretend I'm not aiming
for your crotch.
180
00:06:16,854 --> 00:06:18,508
Hang on.
181
00:06:18,552 --> 00:06:20,510
Why are we wingin' the puck
at my junk?
182
00:06:20,554 --> 00:06:23,252
How am I going to
wing a puck at my own junk?
183
00:06:23,295 --> 00:06:25,428
Yeah, I guess
you got a point.
184
00:06:25,472 --> 00:06:27,430
It's just physics, buddy.
185
00:06:30,085 --> 00:06:33,436
Does anyone in here know
how to put a stupid password
186
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:34,872
into a stupid router?
187
00:06:36,308 --> 00:06:38,441
With no strings
attached?
188
00:06:38,485 --> 00:06:39,877
And that would
benefit us how?
189
00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:41,401
Fine.
190
00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:43,185
What are your strings?
191
00:06:43,228 --> 00:06:45,230
One string,
very reasonable.
192
00:06:47,972 --> 00:06:50,366
Hey!
The WiFi is locked.
193
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:51,323
Is it?
194
00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:52,368
Huh.
195
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:53,413
I'm online.
196
00:06:53,456 --> 00:06:55,763
Oh, that's right.
197
00:06:55,806 --> 00:06:58,026
I'm the only one
who has the password.
198
00:06:58,069 --> 00:07:03,074
I and I alone have access
to the World Wide Web.
199
00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:08,558
I have it too.
200
00:07:08,602 --> 00:07:09,907
Well, of course you--
201
00:07:09,951 --> 00:07:12,040
Geez, I was having
a friggin' moment over here.
202
00:07:14,651 --> 00:07:16,044
Unbelievable.
203
00:07:16,087 --> 00:07:17,785
Michelle said she was
going to the city
204
00:07:17,828 --> 00:07:18,873
to buy a romper,
205
00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:21,397
but according to this,
she stayed home.
206
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:24,705
Huh, probably just sewed
a shirt to her shorts.
207
00:07:24,748 --> 00:07:25,836
Here you go, guys.
208
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:26,968
Hey!
209
00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:28,491
Are you on my WiFi?
210
00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:30,014
How did you crack
the password?
211
00:07:30,058 --> 00:07:31,973
Ease up on the paranoia
there, Mr. Robot.
212
00:07:32,016 --> 00:07:33,409
We don't need WiFi.
213
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,803
This tracking system
works on GPS.
214
00:07:35,846 --> 00:07:36,717
What are you
tracking?
215
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:37,544
People.
216
00:07:37,587 --> 00:07:38,545
Davis!
217
00:07:38,588 --> 00:07:40,068
Whoops!
Don't tell anyone.
218
00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:41,286
Legal reasons.
219
00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:43,332
Wait, are you
tracking me?
220
00:07:43,375 --> 00:07:46,248
No, I wouldn't
do that to a friend.
221
00:07:46,291 --> 00:07:49,164
Here, have
a friendship bracelet.
222
00:07:49,207 --> 00:07:51,471
Aww, that's sweet.
223
00:07:51,514 --> 00:07:52,515
Hey, since
we're friends,
224
00:07:52,559 --> 00:07:53,734
what's the WiFi
password?
225
00:07:53,777 --> 00:07:54,778
Nice try.
226
00:07:56,345 --> 00:07:59,130
"N-I-C-E-- Hmm...
227
00:08:00,044 --> 00:08:01,002
That's odd.
228
00:08:01,045 --> 00:08:02,133
According to Zeke's tracker,
229
00:08:02,177 --> 00:08:04,266
he's been in that dumpster
for hours.
230
00:08:04,309 --> 00:08:05,528
Hmm. He's usually
only in there
231
00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:06,964
20 minutes, tops.
232
00:08:07,008 --> 00:08:08,705
You better
investigate that.
233
00:08:08,749 --> 00:08:09,880
I'll stay here
234
00:08:09,924 --> 00:08:12,143
and keep track of
Michelle's web of lies.
235
00:08:12,187 --> 00:08:13,014
I'm on it.
236
00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:13,841
And let Lacey know
237
00:08:13,884 --> 00:08:15,799
her password doesn't work.
238
00:08:17,409 --> 00:08:19,194
Hey, Lacey,
239
00:08:19,237 --> 00:08:20,804
I'm putting together
a film crew
240
00:08:20,848 --> 00:08:22,806
to shoot a viral
video of Oscar.
241
00:08:22,850 --> 00:08:24,939
Do you know anyone
with a movie camera,
242
00:08:24,982 --> 00:08:26,244
and some lights?
243
00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:27,681
Probably going to need
one of those best boys
244
00:08:27,724 --> 00:08:29,204
I keep hearing about.
245
00:08:29,247 --> 00:08:30,684
Oh, sure, I can
get you all that.
246
00:08:30,727 --> 00:08:31,641
Plus a crane jib,
247
00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:33,077
and James Cameron
to direct.
248
00:08:33,121 --> 00:08:34,992
No, no,
I'll be directing.
249
00:08:35,036 --> 00:08:36,428
You don't need all that.
250
00:08:36,472 --> 00:08:37,995
You can just shoot a video
with your phone.
251
00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:39,083
I can?
252
00:08:39,127 --> 00:08:41,521
Movie camera andegg timer?
253
00:08:41,564 --> 00:08:43,218
This is one hell of a rig.
254
00:08:44,219 --> 00:08:46,482
Your fluffy cousin
tried to kill me!
255
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:47,831
This is payback!
256
00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:49,877
H'yah! Tell your friends!
257
00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:51,835
Oscar, can you come here?
258
00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:57,798
The old "step-on-a-rake,
smack-in-the-puss" routine.
259
00:08:57,841 --> 00:08:58,668
Come on, stupid.
260
00:08:58,712 --> 00:08:59,669
Find your mark.
261
00:09:01,192 --> 00:09:02,106
Oh.
262
00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:03,847
Well, this could
hurt someone.
263
00:09:03,891 --> 00:09:05,109
Dammit.
264
00:09:05,153 --> 00:09:06,633
You left the rake on the--
265
00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:07,764
Whoa!
266
00:09:07,808 --> 00:09:08,678
Dammit!
267
00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:11,551
Dammit!
268
00:09:18,296 --> 00:09:19,384
Huh? Oh--
Oh!
269
00:09:19,428 --> 00:09:20,821
Hmm...
270
00:09:20,864 --> 00:09:21,909
Something's off.
271
00:09:21,952 --> 00:09:22,779
Are you wearing a cup?
272
00:09:22,823 --> 00:09:23,693
No.
273
00:09:24,651 --> 00:09:25,477
Who's there?
274
00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:26,827
Okay, I'm wearing a cup.
275
00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:27,958
I might have kids
someday.
276
00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:29,743
I don't want them
coming out dented.
277
00:09:29,786 --> 00:09:31,048
You want
to go viral or not?
278
00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:36,924
Okay, let me explain
the concept of a nut shot.
279
00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:38,142
I provide the shot,
280
00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:39,883
and you provide the rest.
281
00:09:39,927 --> 00:09:41,058
Wouldn't a shot to the noggin
282
00:09:41,102 --> 00:09:42,494
be just as entertaining?
283
00:09:42,538 --> 00:09:43,365
Ah!
284
00:09:43,408 --> 00:09:44,627
Nope.
285
00:09:46,368 --> 00:09:47,630
Oh man!
286
00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:49,763
I can't believe how long
that cat stays clamped
287
00:09:49,806 --> 00:09:51,416
on this guy's crotch.
288
00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:53,331
Hang in there, kitty!
289
00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:54,463
You got WiFi?
290
00:09:54,506 --> 00:09:56,160
Wanna set up
a hotspot for me?
291
00:09:56,204 --> 00:09:58,119
Not as much as I wanna
tell you to get stuffed.
292
00:09:58,162 --> 00:09:59,947
The information highway's
a lot faster
293
00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:01,122
without
all you Winnebagos
294
00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:01,992
clogging it up.
295
00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:02,863
Beat it.
296
00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:06,388
Ah, should have gotten her
to pay for those chips.
297
00:10:06,431 --> 00:10:07,215
Ah, well.
298
00:10:07,258 --> 00:10:08,520
Whoa-ho!
299
00:10:08,564 --> 00:10:10,871
That cat's still
latched on there.
300
00:10:10,914 --> 00:10:12,350
Whew! How much longer
does this--
301
00:10:12,394 --> 00:10:13,700
Eight more minutes?
302
00:10:14,657 --> 00:10:15,876
Anything
to eat today?
303
00:10:15,919 --> 00:10:17,660
What's the point
of going out for lunch
304
00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:20,228
if you can't post pictures
of your food online?
305
00:10:20,271 --> 00:10:22,404
You could talk
to your wife.
306
00:10:22,447 --> 00:10:24,188
We have been
talking.
307
00:10:24,232 --> 00:10:25,973
About how there's
no free WiFi.
308
00:10:26,016 --> 00:10:29,019
Hmm, well, maybe if you both
ordered burgers and fries,
309
00:10:29,063 --> 00:10:30,238
and dessert,
310
00:10:30,281 --> 00:10:32,414
and tipped 20%,
311
00:10:32,457 --> 00:10:34,590
I could do a little
something for you.
312
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,548
Intriguing.
313
00:10:36,592 --> 00:10:38,115
Could you also
give me the password?
314
00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:39,769
That's what I meant.
315
00:10:39,813 --> 00:10:40,727
What did you think
316
00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:41,728
the "little
something" was?
317
00:10:41,771 --> 00:10:42,772
Yeah, Won.
318
00:10:42,816 --> 00:10:44,034
What did you think?
319
00:10:45,166 --> 00:10:47,690
Don't share this
with anyone,
320
00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:49,953
or I'll have to
change the password.
321
00:10:49,997 --> 00:10:52,173
Like you know how
to change the password.
322
00:10:52,216 --> 00:10:54,088
Okay, we promise.
323
00:10:54,131 --> 00:10:55,002
Hmm.
324
00:10:57,613 --> 00:11:00,268
Turns out Zeke's
not dead in a dumpster,
325
00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:01,617
but my heart is.
326
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,314
You should
notify his next of kin.
327
00:11:03,358 --> 00:11:04,533
I said he's not--
328
00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:06,143
Are you listening to me?
329
00:11:06,187 --> 00:11:09,016
Zeke threw my friendship
bracelet in the garbage.
330
00:11:09,059 --> 00:11:10,495
Maybe he's not into jewelry
331
00:11:10,539 --> 00:11:12,541
that looks like it was made
by a seven-year old girl.
332
00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:14,804
I don't know about
this tracking thing.
333
00:11:14,848 --> 00:11:15,936
Are you kidding me?
334
00:11:15,979 --> 00:11:18,678
You're a genius
for coming up with this.
335
00:11:18,721 --> 00:11:19,548
See?
336
00:11:19,591 --> 00:11:20,723
Looks great on me.
337
00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:22,377
Brings out the colour
of my wrist.
338
00:11:22,420 --> 00:11:23,465
I don't know.
339
00:11:23,508 --> 00:11:24,814
It doesn't feel like
it's paying off.
340
00:11:26,207 --> 00:11:27,164
Uh-oh.
341
00:11:27,208 --> 00:11:29,079
Rheena's about
to park illegally.
342
00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:30,080
You could
write the ticket
343
00:11:30,124 --> 00:11:31,691
on the way
to give it to her.
344
00:11:31,734 --> 00:11:34,606
That would give me time
to make a new bracelet for Zeke,
345
00:11:34,650 --> 00:11:37,087
with more masculine colours.
346
00:11:37,827 --> 00:11:39,350
Go get 'em, tiger!
347
00:11:42,484 --> 00:11:44,051
That's it.
348
00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:45,748
Say good night, Gilligan.
349
00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:47,054
This'll be gold.
350
00:11:48,577 --> 00:11:49,709
Oh, whoa--
351
00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:51,711
There we go.
352
00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:54,409
Seriously?
353
00:11:54,452 --> 00:11:56,628
When has any human ever
gotten in a hammock without--
354
00:11:58,021 --> 00:11:59,196
Grr...
355
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,242
Ow!
356
00:12:04,288 --> 00:12:06,160
Psst!
Here's the password.
357
00:12:06,203 --> 00:12:08,466
No sharesies.
358
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,689
Ugh, dammit, woman!
359
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:17,171
Why bring me lemonade
if I can't reach it?
360
00:12:17,214 --> 00:12:20,261
Wait until he finds out
it's not lemonade.
361
00:12:20,304 --> 00:12:22,176
Stalking anyone
in particular, Mom?
362
00:12:22,219 --> 00:12:23,960
You scared
the bejesus out of me.
363
00:12:24,004 --> 00:12:25,614
Quit being so sneaky.
364
00:12:25,657 --> 00:12:27,355
Says the woman
crouched in a shrub.
365
00:12:29,836 --> 00:12:31,794
Do you know how long
I've been in here
366
00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:33,143
trying to get
a video of Oscar
367
00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:34,797
falling out of
that hammock?
368
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:36,451
Oh, sorry
I interrupted.
369
00:12:36,494 --> 00:12:39,410
That would have
been... hilarious.
370
00:12:41,021 --> 00:12:42,326
Mom's got a ringer.
371
00:12:42,370 --> 00:12:43,327
Dad.
372
00:12:43,371 --> 00:12:44,241
It's only a matter of time
373
00:12:44,285 --> 00:12:45,895
before she gets
a video of him
374
00:12:45,939 --> 00:12:47,679
doing something stupid.
375
00:12:47,723 --> 00:12:49,681
If her video goes viral
before ours,
376
00:12:49,725 --> 00:12:51,553
I'll never hear
the end of it.
377
00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:53,990
We've got
to ratchet this up.
378
00:12:54,034 --> 00:12:55,862
Did you run
all the way here?
379
00:12:55,905 --> 00:12:57,907
No, I drove,
380
00:12:57,951 --> 00:12:59,517
but you've got
a long driveway.
381
00:12:59,561 --> 00:13:00,388
Whew.
382
00:13:03,130 --> 00:13:05,436
I see you leaving
that bakery, Michelle.
383
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:06,829
Gluten-free, my ass.
384
00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:11,138
Well, that was
a waste of time.
385
00:13:11,181 --> 00:13:12,400
Didn't you
give Rheena a ticket?
386
00:13:12,443 --> 00:13:13,314
I tried,
387
00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:14,750
but she hadn't parked yet,
388
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,317
and said I couldn't
give her a ticket
389
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,145
for thinking about
doing a crime.
390
00:13:18,188 --> 00:13:19,537
Then we spent half an hour
391
00:13:19,581 --> 00:13:22,192
arguing the plausibility
of Minority Report.
392
00:13:22,236 --> 00:13:23,759
It didn't save me any time,
393
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,761
and Rheena's extra mad at me.
394
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,676
This GPS thing sucks.
395
00:13:27,719 --> 00:13:28,808
I'm shutting it down.
396
00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:29,983
No!
397
00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:32,159
I finally know
what everyone is up to.
398
00:13:32,202 --> 00:13:33,725
Not everyone,
399
00:13:33,769 --> 00:13:35,771
because not everyone
in town has a bracelet.
400
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:36,728
What?
401
00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:37,642
Who doesn't have
a bracelet,
402
00:13:37,686 --> 00:13:38,687
and what
are they doing?
403
00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:40,123
You need to buy
more tracking tags.
404
00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:41,037
Forget it.
405
00:13:41,081 --> 00:13:42,952
The power's gone
to your head.
406
00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:44,388
Also, it's
too much work.
407
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,217
Oh, you're right.
408
00:13:47,261 --> 00:13:49,263
Ugh, can't believe how
sucked into this technology
409
00:13:49,306 --> 00:13:50,220
I got.
410
00:13:50,264 --> 00:13:51,874
Give me the car keys.
411
00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:52,875
Why?
412
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:54,224
I need to get away
from the screen.
413
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:55,138
Clear my head,
414
00:13:55,182 --> 00:13:56,444
maybe take a nap.
415
00:13:59,055 --> 00:14:00,361
What the--
416
00:14:00,404 --> 00:14:02,537
What's with
the endless buffering?
417
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:04,278
Are you online?
418
00:14:04,321 --> 00:14:05,757
How'd you get
the password?
419
00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:07,542
What are you, CSIS?
420
00:14:07,585 --> 00:14:09,065
What's CSIS?
421
00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:11,720
That's just what someone
in CSIS would say.
422
00:14:11,763 --> 00:14:12,547
All you
have to do
423
00:14:12,590 --> 00:14:13,678
is order
a lot of food,
424
00:14:13,722 --> 00:14:15,289
and Lacey will
give you the password.
425
00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:16,899
But don't
tell anyone.
426
00:14:16,943 --> 00:14:18,466
Tell no one.
427
00:14:18,509 --> 00:14:19,728
What's a gal gotta do
428
00:14:19,771 --> 00:14:21,991
to monopolize
the Internet around here?
429
00:14:22,035 --> 00:14:24,167
Merge with Time Warner?
430
00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:30,913
Huh? Hunter?
431
00:14:30,957 --> 00:14:33,568
I am not chasing
that dog again.
432
00:14:34,656 --> 00:14:36,310
Don't...
433
00:14:36,353 --> 00:14:37,528
Don't you...
434
00:14:37,572 --> 00:14:38,921
Don't even...
435
00:14:40,575 --> 00:14:42,664
Oh, great.
436
00:14:42,707 --> 00:14:44,057
Now I have to
give Helen a ticket
437
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:46,537
for not picking up after
her stupid dog.
438
00:14:46,581 --> 00:14:48,409
This program's killing me.
439
00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:51,151
Why is Zeke the highway?
440
00:14:51,194 --> 00:14:52,456
Wait.
441
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:55,111
Karen has Zeke's bracelet.
442
00:14:55,155 --> 00:14:57,897
Where is she going?
443
00:14:59,202 --> 00:15:02,727
So... Frodo is about
to throw the ring
444
00:15:02,771 --> 00:15:04,294
into the river of fire,
445
00:15:04,338 --> 00:15:06,340
when he changes his mind
and keeps it,
446
00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:09,734
and that sense of betrayal
Samwise felt
447
00:15:09,778 --> 00:15:12,781
is not unlike what's burning
in my chest right now!
448
00:15:12,824 --> 00:15:15,088
Aw, are you talking
about the Godfather?
449
00:15:15,131 --> 00:15:16,872
No, that's Fredo!
450
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,830
But there's also betrayal
in the Godfather,
451
00:15:18,874 --> 00:15:20,180
so let's go with that.
452
00:15:20,223 --> 00:15:21,181
Bottom line,
453
00:15:21,224 --> 00:15:22,922
you gave up
the password.
454
00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:23,923
You Fredoed me.
455
00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:25,576
Aw, I'm sorry.
456
00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:27,622
It only seemed fair
to make people order food
457
00:15:27,665 --> 00:15:30,407
since I'm the only one
paying for WiFi.
458
00:15:30,451 --> 00:15:32,453
Well, I'm going to change
the password,
459
00:15:32,496 --> 00:15:34,542
and I'm not telling
anyone what it is,
460
00:15:34,585 --> 00:15:36,718
including you, Frodo.
461
00:15:36,761 --> 00:15:38,111
Uh, Fredo.
462
00:15:38,154 --> 00:15:39,286
Where did we leave off
with this?
463
00:15:39,329 --> 00:15:41,157
You can't just shut me
out of my own WiFi.
464
00:15:42,071 --> 00:15:43,594
Oops, just did,
465
00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:45,770
and you're never going
to guess the password.
466
00:15:45,814 --> 00:15:48,338
Is it
"Lacey betrayed me?"
467
00:15:48,382 --> 00:15:49,731
Not anymore.
468
00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:55,693
So, you want me to jump off
the ladder onto a ball,
469
00:15:55,737 --> 00:15:57,260
bounce onto the skateboard,
470
00:15:57,304 --> 00:15:58,914
roll through a hoop of fire,
471
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,569
and smash crotch-first
into a teeter-totter?
472
00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:03,571
Yeah, but make it look natural.
473
00:16:03,614 --> 00:16:05,834
I don't think hula hoops
burst into flames naturally.
474
00:16:05,877 --> 00:16:07,096
You're overthinking.
475
00:16:07,140 --> 00:16:08,532
You're too aware of what's...
476
00:16:08,576 --> 00:16:10,970
Hold on, that's the problem.
477
00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:12,362
It's also the solution.
478
00:16:18,151 --> 00:16:19,195
Hey, Dad!
479
00:16:19,239 --> 00:16:20,327
What?
480
00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:21,850
How's it going
with that prank video
481
00:16:21,893 --> 00:16:23,721
Mom's shooting of you that
you're now totally aware of?
482
00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,245
You son of a bitch.
483
00:16:25,288 --> 00:16:27,987
Hey, don't talk about
my mom like that.
484
00:16:32,295 --> 00:16:34,036
You're trying to
make me look stupid?
485
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,690
You always
look stupid.
486
00:16:35,733 --> 00:16:37,561
I just want to share
you with the world.
487
00:16:37,605 --> 00:16:38,606
How many views
488
00:16:38,649 --> 00:16:40,260
does an old man yelling
usually get?
489
00:16:40,303 --> 00:16:42,131
Depends if that
hand-in-the-water trick works,
490
00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:43,002
and he wets himself.
491
00:16:43,045 --> 00:16:44,873
Who wet himself?
492
00:16:44,916 --> 00:16:47,049
And why am I
getting a manicure?
493
00:16:47,093 --> 00:16:49,008
We had an agreement.
494
00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:50,574
We order
too much food,
495
00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:52,446
and you give us
free WiFi.
496
00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:54,796
Well, you had free WiFi,
497
00:16:54,839 --> 00:16:56,537
and you got a delicious meal,
498
00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:58,452
so everyone should be happy!
499
00:16:58,495 --> 00:16:59,496
We're not.
500
00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:01,150
You owe us WiFi.
501
00:17:01,194 --> 00:17:02,717
Lacey stole
our WiFi!
502
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,327
-Give us our WiFi back.
-Yeah!
503
00:17:04,371 --> 00:17:06,460
You've been stealing
my Internet for years.
504
00:17:06,503 --> 00:17:09,028
This is all because of
that stupid signal booster.
505
00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:10,638
I should go smash it.
506
00:17:10,681 --> 00:17:11,639
Yeah,
507
00:17:11,682 --> 00:17:13,554
but you don't know
where it is.
508
00:17:19,168 --> 00:17:20,430
Oh, don't I?
509
00:17:20,474 --> 00:17:21,779
I'm going there right now
510
00:17:21,823 --> 00:17:24,391
to smash it into
a million pieces.
511
00:17:24,434 --> 00:17:25,870
If you want to stop me,
512
00:17:25,914 --> 00:17:28,569
you're going to have
to get there first.
513
00:17:29,918 --> 00:17:31,224
She's bluffing.
514
00:17:31,267 --> 00:17:32,529
Or is she?
515
00:17:32,573 --> 00:17:34,531
Are you calling my bluff
on the bluffing?
516
00:17:35,445 --> 00:17:36,707
Film all you want.
517
00:17:36,751 --> 00:17:39,623
I'm not gonna be the star
of your dumb thing.
518
00:17:39,667 --> 00:17:41,147
The competition is out.
519
00:17:41,190 --> 00:17:43,279
Hank, go run 'nad-first
into that tree!
520
00:17:43,323 --> 00:17:44,933
What? We talked
about this.
521
00:17:44,976 --> 00:17:46,282
I'm too aware.
522
00:17:46,326 --> 00:17:47,588
Then close your eyes
and run into the tree.
523
00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:49,111
Forget it!
I'm out too.
524
00:17:52,288 --> 00:17:53,637
So...
525
00:17:53,681 --> 00:17:55,291
You went and bought
more tags
526
00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:57,511
to track the rest
of the town, huh?
527
00:17:57,554 --> 00:17:59,165
What? No!
528
00:17:59,208 --> 00:18:00,383
Aw, man!
529
00:18:00,427 --> 00:18:03,212
Have you been tracking me
this entire time?
530
00:18:03,256 --> 00:18:05,171
That is not a friendly way
531
00:18:05,214 --> 00:18:07,129
to dispose of
a friendship bracelet.
532
00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:08,391
Did you see
everywhere I went?
533
00:18:08,435 --> 00:18:09,914
If you're asking
534
00:18:09,958 --> 00:18:12,134
if I know that you went
to a laser hair removal place,
535
00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:13,135
then no.
536
00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:14,571
Okay, wow.
537
00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:16,747
This really is
an invasion of privacy.
538
00:18:16,791 --> 00:18:18,445
Experiment over.
539
00:18:18,488 --> 00:18:21,056
Oh, thank god.
540
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,231
Friends again?
541
00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:23,319
Work friends.
542
00:18:23,363 --> 00:18:24,364
Good enough.
543
00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:27,236
Then, as your friend,
I have to say,
544
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:28,585
laser hair removal?
545
00:18:28,629 --> 00:18:29,586
Why?
546
00:18:29,630 --> 00:18:31,719
You can barely see
your mustache.
547
00:18:31,762 --> 00:18:33,329
This is the longest
you've gone
548
00:18:33,373 --> 00:18:35,288
without being
an idiot, Oscar.
549
00:18:35,331 --> 00:18:36,463
Knock it off!
550
00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:37,594
Come on, Hank.
551
00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:39,466
Just follow your natural
doofus instinct.
552
00:18:39,509 --> 00:18:41,076
I don't have
to take this.
553
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,383
The verbal abuse,
the physical abuse.
554
00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:44,862
If you want to
film something,
555
00:18:44,906 --> 00:18:46,603
film me walking away.
556
00:18:47,256 --> 00:18:48,127
Whoa!
557
00:18:50,216 --> 00:18:51,521
Aah! Cucumber!
558
00:18:51,565 --> 00:18:52,957
Aah!
559
00:18:53,001 --> 00:18:54,437
Kale!
560
00:18:54,481 --> 00:18:55,482
Did you get it?
561
00:18:55,525 --> 00:18:56,439
I got it!
Did you get it?
562
00:18:56,483 --> 00:18:57,397
I did!
563
00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:58,528
We both got it!
564
00:18:58,572 --> 00:18:59,790
The production
value on this
565
00:18:59,834 --> 00:19:01,836
will get us to the top
of "Hard in the Nards."
566
00:19:01,879 --> 00:19:03,316
Again, I can't
stress enough.
567
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:04,708
Do not Google
any of that.
568
00:19:06,101 --> 00:19:08,321
I need to see
that tracking thingie.
569
00:19:08,364 --> 00:19:10,149
Oh, we're not
doing that anymore.
570
00:19:10,192 --> 00:19:12,542
I need to know where
everyone in town is going.
571
00:19:12,586 --> 00:19:15,241
Trust me,
you don't want to know.
572
00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:16,633
Show me!
573
00:19:16,677 --> 00:19:18,026
Jeez, okay.
574
00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:21,334
Explain
how this works.
575
00:19:21,377 --> 00:19:23,423
This is you
at the police station.
576
00:19:23,466 --> 00:19:26,382
The other blue dots are
whoever's wearing a tag.
577
00:19:26,426 --> 00:19:28,471
Looks like a mob of them
are coming down Main Street.
578
00:19:30,473 --> 00:19:32,083
They're coming towards
the police station.
579
00:19:33,259 --> 00:19:34,564
But...
580
00:19:34,608 --> 00:19:37,567
they're supposed to go
towards the booster.
581
00:19:37,611 --> 00:19:39,003
Unless...
582
00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:40,657
Eight metres.
583
00:19:40,701 --> 00:19:42,790
Six metres.
584
00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:44,400
Two metres!
585
00:19:44,444 --> 00:19:45,662
That can't be.
586
00:19:45,706 --> 00:19:47,098
That's inside
the room.
587
00:19:47,142 --> 00:19:48,796
It's reading
right, man!
588
00:19:51,494 --> 00:19:53,104
They're on the roof.
589
00:19:53,148 --> 00:19:54,932
Wait, where'd Lacey go?
590
00:19:54,976 --> 00:19:55,846
Ha ha!
591
00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:57,065
Suckers!
592
00:19:57,108 --> 00:19:58,980
I knew you'd want
to protect the booster.
593
00:19:59,023 --> 00:20:01,243
The tracking devices
Karen and Davis put on you
594
00:20:01,287 --> 00:20:03,027
led me right to it.
595
00:20:03,071 --> 00:20:04,681
Tracking devices?
596
00:20:04,725 --> 00:20:06,292
We're being
monitored?
597
00:20:07,031 --> 00:20:08,163
Uh...
598
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,643
don't you have
a booster box to protect?
599
00:20:09,686 --> 00:20:11,601
Too late! Ha ha!
600
00:20:14,474 --> 00:20:15,518
There.
601
00:20:15,562 --> 00:20:16,911
WiFi problem solved.
602
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,436
Oh, is it?
603
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:24,266
I'm still the only one
with the password.
604
00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:27,138
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
605
00:20:27,182 --> 00:20:29,880
And I'm the only one
with a cleaver.
606
00:20:29,924 --> 00:20:30,620
We should talk.
607
00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:36,496
How's our video doing?
608
00:20:36,539 --> 00:20:37,801
We rich and famous yet?
609
00:20:37,845 --> 00:20:38,715
Far from it.
610
00:20:38,759 --> 00:20:39,499
Check the comments.
611
00:20:40,369 --> 00:20:41,718
"Two-camera shoot."
612
00:20:41,762 --> 00:20:42,719
"This is fake."
613
00:20:42,763 --> 00:20:44,591
"Totally staged."
614
00:20:44,634 --> 00:20:46,157
How dumb
are these people
615
00:20:46,201 --> 00:20:48,072
that they can't enjoy
real stupid?
616
00:20:48,116 --> 00:20:49,422
Oh, don't lose faith
617
00:20:49,465 --> 00:20:50,771
in the stupidity
of the Internet.
618
00:20:52,207 --> 00:20:53,252
There's half a million hits
619
00:20:53,295 --> 00:20:54,992
on "Hottie Meat Cleaver Mama
620
00:20:55,036 --> 00:20:56,516
Loses It
On Police Station Roof."
621
00:20:57,430 --> 00:20:58,344
Will you stop
622
00:20:58,387 --> 00:20:59,693
showing that
to people?
623
00:20:59,736 --> 00:21:01,216
Hey, they called you
"Hottie."
624
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:09,833
♪ I don't know
625
00:21:09,877 --> 00:21:12,488
♪ The same things
you don't know ♪
626
00:21:15,970 --> 00:21:17,928
♪ I don't know
627
00:21:17,972 --> 00:21:21,192
♪ I just... don't know
628
00:21:23,020 --> 00:21:25,414
♪ Ooh
629
00:21:25,458 --> 00:21:26,850
♪ It's a great big place
630
00:21:26,894 --> 00:21:29,070
♪ Ooh
631
00:21:29,113 --> 00:21:30,550
♪ Full of nothin' but space
632
00:21:30,593 --> 00:21:32,595
♪ Ooh
633
00:21:32,639 --> 00:21:34,597
♪ And it's my happy place
634
00:21:34,641 --> 00:21:37,121
♪ I don't know
41528
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