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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,212 --> 00:00:05,464 [announcers chattering on TV] 2 00:00:10,636 --> 00:00:11,470 [cheering on TV] 3 00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:12,804 - There we go. - [exclaims] 4 00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:15,724 - That's what I'm talking about. - Finally. Geez. [sighs] 5 00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:18,060 - What's with you? - Hmm? 6 00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:21,146 We're trying to enjoy the game and he wants to spoil the vibe 7 00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:22,689 and talk about real stuff. 8 00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:24,483 [sighs] 9 00:00:24,483 --> 00:00:27,069 Eventually you're gonna have to talk to your dad about how he let you down. 10 00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:28,403 Come on, man. 11 00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:29,863 I told you he sucks. 12 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,698 - It's not gonna happen. - Okay. 13 00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:34,034 It will... [sighs] ...when you're ready. 14 00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:38,872 Until then, I've decided that we're both gonna be available to you from now on. 15 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:40,999 But I would not call Paul after 8:00 p.m., 16 00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:44,378 because last time he answered the phone from his bathtub with Julie. 17 00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:45,838 How big is your tub? 18 00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:47,756 Not that big. 19 00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:49,258 Ooh. My man. 20 00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:50,384 [Sean, Jimmy laugh] 21 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:53,929 But as far as your treatment is concerned, I'm still in charge. 22 00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:58,016 Think of me as... as, uh... as Santa, and Jimmy as-- 23 00:00:58,016 --> 00:01:02,312 Do not make me an elf, Paul. I'm s-so much bigger than you. 24 00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:03,772 You can be a reindeer. 25 00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:05,274 Not the fancy one with the red nose, 26 00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:08,193 b-but one of the randos in the back, like Fluffer. 27 00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:10,112 Fluffer's not a reindeer, Paul. 28 00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:12,406 Fluffer and reindeer are such different jobs. 29 00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:15,409 So, how am I supposed to deal with working with my dad every day 30 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,827 until I figure this shit out? 31 00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:18,662 Just love him. 32 00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:20,831 Goodwill is everything. 33 00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:23,417 If you meet him with that when you're ready to talk, 34 00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:26,211 it'll come from a great place. 35 00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:29,673 Oh. Game's back. 36 00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:32,301 Unless Jimmy wants me to talk about my dad now. 37 00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:33,886 I'm guessing he wasn't much of a hugger. 38 00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:35,262 No, he wasn't. 39 00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:36,972 You two ever kiss on the lips? 40 00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:39,558 All the time. 41 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,227 - [grunts, laughs] - [laughs] 42 00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,856 Oh, my God. [groans] 43 00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:46,899 - Hey. - [patient 1] Hi. 44 00:01:46,899 --> 00:01:49,902 Sorry I'm late. I was with my mom. She was in an accident but she's okay. 45 00:01:49,902 --> 00:01:52,279 She drove into a tow truck. Actually, onto a tow truck. 46 00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:53,197 The good news is, 47 00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:55,741 the tow truck driver was able to take the car straight to the shop. 48 00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:56,867 Whew. 49 00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:59,286 All right. [stammers, sighs] 50 00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:00,662 - So, um-- - [clears throat] 51 00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:01,914 Do you know what's crazy? 52 00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:04,208 Now, my sister wants me to convince our blind-as-hell mom 53 00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:05,334 to get her eyes fixed. 54 00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:08,878 And it's like, dude, why is it always on me? 55 00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:12,132 I taught our mom how to use a smartphone. I got her into physical therapy. 56 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,884 I got her out of Herbalife which was actually-- 57 00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:18,305 I'm so sorry to interrupt, but has our time started? 58 00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:22,184 We got into a huge fight last night and I just kinda wanna get into it. 59 00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:24,436 My bad. This is your time. 60 00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:26,855 Hit me. Okay, what was the fight about? 61 00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:31,568 Well... [sighs] ...I always have gum when he wants it but... 62 00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:33,111 [sighs] 63 00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:35,572 ...he never has gum when I want it. 64 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:40,327 I don't like things in my pockets and, um... 65 00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:42,913 - [sighs] - [clicks tongue] Never mind. 66 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,208 What, do you guys feel like shit now because your stuff is so trite? 67 00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:48,043 - Yeah, a little bit. - Yeah. 68 00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:51,296 Don't. You're paying me. So let's do this. 69 00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:53,841 - Come on, guys. Shake it off. - [Mark sighs] 70 00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:56,051 Mark, why don't you like stuff in your pockets? 71 00:02:56,051 --> 00:02:57,261 [sighs] 72 00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,054 I am not her purse! 73 00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:02,808 My cell phone, my gum, my Invisalign case. That is not that many things. 74 00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:06,728 I'm sorry. Then we also have the sunglasses, the protein bars 75 00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:07,896 and the chargers. 76 00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,147 Are you kidding me? 77 00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:12,401 Are you fucking kidding me? 78 00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:15,195 - Hey. - I think the watercooler's broken. 79 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,281 Yeah? What do you think is wrong with it? 80 00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:19,408 Oh, the compressor must've slipped and blocked the filter hinge. 81 00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:22,369 - How the fuck would I know? - [sighs] If you're having a crap day, 82 00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:24,580 we're drinking at Liz's later, if you wanna join us. 83 00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:26,039 Don't give me hopeful eyebrows. 84 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,749 I can't control them. They're dreamers. 85 00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:31,128 Jimmy, please. I keep trying to find nice ways to tell you that I need space. 86 00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:33,088 The ball is in my court. 87 00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:34,923 You are ball-less. 88 00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:37,759 Well, that's not entirely true. They're sort of what got us here. 89 00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:38,719 [groans] 90 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,012 [sighs] 91 00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:42,264 - I just miss you. - Well, suck it. 92 00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:47,186 Cowboy boots on a baby? 93 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,646 Is she already a stripper? 94 00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:53,609 I'd know that judgmental tone anywhere. 95 00:03:53,609 --> 00:03:55,986 Mac? Oh, my God. Hi. 96 00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:57,571 Come here. Hey, there. 97 00:03:57,571 --> 00:04:01,366 [grunts] Ah, wow. You haven't aged a day. 98 00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:02,451 That's a good start. 99 00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:05,078 And so skinny, you seem like you might be sick. 100 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,622 Oh, my God. Thank you so much. 101 00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:09,124 So, what's it been? Twenty-five years? 102 00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:11,043 Tell me everything. What have you been up to? 103 00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:13,629 Um, so many cool things. 104 00:04:13,629 --> 00:04:15,297 Uh, having kids. 105 00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:17,341 Rocks. 106 00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:19,593 Are you still taking pictures? You were always so good at it. 107 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:22,221 Yeah, I've actually been doing, um, wildlife photography. 108 00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:24,806 - It's not a big deal. It's, you know-- - Hello. 109 00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:28,310 [sighs] How did us getting wine and snacks together 110 00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:31,104 turn into you handing me a list and me finding everything and paying for it? 111 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,397 Because that's how I shop. 112 00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:33,982 Then don't get mad at me if I got the wrong cheese. 113 00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:36,568 - Did you get the wrong cheese? Ah. - I got the wrong cheese. 114 00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:39,613 - Hey. I'm Jimmy. I'm Liz's errand boy. - Hey, I'm Mac. 115 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,532 - Short for Macaulay? - No. 116 00:04:41,532 --> 00:04:42,783 Oh, bummer. 117 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,618 Uh, how do you two know each other? 118 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,328 - Old friends. - Sex. 119 00:04:46,328 --> 00:04:47,746 Two of my favorite things. 120 00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:51,625 Um, well, it was great to see you. 121 00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,043 You too, Lizzie. 122 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:54,962 Hmm. 123 00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:58,924 Don't say it. Don't say it. 124 00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:03,720 - Lizzie. - [laughs] 125 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:06,515 - [laughing] I told you not to say it. - [laughs] 126 00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:10,394 I'm not being weird. I promise nothing is wrong. 127 00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:12,396 Are you sure? 'Cause you can tell me anything. 128 00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:15,357 The only thing I can't handle is a liar, 'cause I don't do secrets. 129 00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:16,650 I'm in my honesty era. 130 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:20,696 Hey. [stammers] Uh... [scoffs] ...Summer, is that my shirt? 131 00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:22,447 I found it in a basket. 132 00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:25,742 I got glitter on it. My B, pimp. I'll go change. 133 00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:28,412 - Thanks, Summer. [sighs] - No problem. 134 00:05:28,412 --> 00:05:31,123 - Oh, my God. You hate her. - I don't hate her. 135 00:05:31,123 --> 00:05:34,126 I just hate everything she says and does. [chuckles] 136 00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:35,586 I love this for you. 137 00:05:35,586 --> 00:05:37,337 I wish Gaby was here, 138 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,465 but thanks to Jimmy's sad and selfish penis, 139 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,301 she's once again not coming. 140 00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:44,303 My penis is neither of those things. 141 00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:46,889 It's optimistic and it always puts others first. 142 00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:48,473 So, your penis is like Elmo? 143 00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:50,726 Same color. Much deeper voice though. 144 00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,353 - Tickle me. Tickle me. - [Brian] Ooh. [chuckles] 145 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,396 Stop. No, stop. Stop that. 146 00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:56,648 - My dick sounds like André the Giant. - [Brian, Derek laugh] 147 00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,942 [imitates André the Giant] Hello, lady. Anybody want a penis? 148 00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:02,154 Uh, would anyone like some wrong cheese? 149 00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:04,364 I'll take some, Lizzie. 150 00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:06,783 We ran into this guy who calls her Lizzie. 151 00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:07,701 [gasps] 152 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:11,747 Oh, you, uh... you ran into Mac? 153 00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,082 Were you gonna tell me? 154 00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:16,210 It was nothing. 155 00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:18,337 What? I... I don't know what's going on here. 156 00:06:18,337 --> 00:06:21,840 - I didn't think anything bothered Derek. - No, I'm not jealous. 157 00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,801 I mean, I don't care about any of the people she slept with before me. 158 00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:27,971 Not her college boyfriend, not Lenny Kravitz... 159 00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:29,306 Whoa. Really? 160 00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:30,724 Well, I mean, I thought he was Lenny Kravitz 161 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:33,393 and he didn't correct me for quite some time. 162 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:37,814 There's... [sighs] ...something about this Mac guy that just gets under my skin. 163 00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:39,107 Here we go. 164 00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:42,152 If she asked him to run away with her, he wouldn't think twice. 165 00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:44,446 Gone. Poof. Puff of smoke. 166 00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:48,408 - And it's so disrespectful, right? - Yeah. 167 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,493 Right. 168 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,037 - Dude. - I'm sorry. 169 00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:54,331 I'm-I'm really... Seriously, I'm sorry. 170 00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,376 - Hey, Dad. - Oh, good. You found your wallet. 171 00:06:57,376 --> 00:07:01,213 Yeah. Unfortunately, it still does not have a credit card inside of it. 172 00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:03,340 Can I borrow some money for some school stuff? 173 00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:04,341 What kinda school stuff? 174 00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:05,425 A smash burger. 175 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,344 - That sounds about right. - Yeah. 176 00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:08,595 - Hey. - Hi. 177 00:07:09,555 --> 00:07:11,390 I'm sorry. I had to. 178 00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:13,559 - You had to... - You slut! 179 00:07:13,559 --> 00:07:15,352 - [Brian] Whoa! - [shrieks, grunts] 180 00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:16,311 - How could you? - [Jimmy] Shit! 181 00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:18,313 - [Alice, Summer screaming, grunting] - Hey, easy! 182 00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:19,439 - Ow! My boob! - [screaming] 183 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,775 - Hey, Summer. Use your words. - [screams] 184 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,611 You said he looked like one of the little statue boys who pee in fountains 185 00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:26,154 and you fucked him anyway. 186 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,575 [Connor] Summer, hold up. 187 00:07:29,575 --> 00:07:30,701 [Summer] Do not follow me! 188 00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,620 - [Jimmy] You okay? - Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. 189 00:07:34,830 --> 00:07:35,831 [sighs] 190 00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,333 [exhales deeply] 191 00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:40,335 Well, sad for Connor. 192 00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,213 Happy for me. 193 00:07:43,881 --> 00:07:47,342 ["Frightening Fishes" by Benjamin Gibbard playing] 194 00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:20,626 {\an8}Hey. How's the boob? 195 00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:21,752 {\an8}It hurts. 196 00:08:21,752 --> 00:08:22,669 {\an8}[Jimmy sighs] 197 00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,922 {\an8}- This is why I never fuck with redheads. - [sighs] 198 00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:26,924 {\an8}My hands are covered in glitter. 199 00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:30,177 {\an8}- [sighs] I deserved that. - [sighs] 200 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,554 {\an8}I'm really such a piece of shit. 201 00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:34,139 {\an8}Hey. Don't go there. 202 00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:37,558 {\an8}[breathes deeply] I wanna start this conversation... [clears throat] 203 00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:39,977 {\an8}...by letting you know that I am a sex-positive dad. 204 00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:41,605 {\an8}Gross. No, we're not doing that. 205 00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:42,856 {\an8}Thank God. [sighs] 206 00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:45,192 {\an8}What do you think's going on? 207 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,903 {\an8}I mean, you never really seemed that interested in Connor. 208 00:08:48,946 --> 00:08:50,781 {\an8}I don't wanna talk about it. 209 00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:52,157 {\an8}Okay. 210 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:57,287 {\an8}I did kinda feel like we were starting to get to the point 211 00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:58,872 {\an8}where we could share anything. 212 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:02,125 {\an8}Do you really believe that or are you just trying to guilt me right now? 213 00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:03,460 {\an8}Can it be both? 214 00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:06,463 {\an8}[sighs] 215 00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:10,092 {\an8}This is the part I normally storm away but I'm in pain. 216 00:09:10,092 --> 00:09:11,468 {\an8}Do you want me to do it for you? 217 00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:14,096 {\an8}- Sure. - [imitates Alice] God, Dad. 218 00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:18,016 {\an8}[scoffs] 219 00:09:20,102 --> 00:09:21,854 {\an8}And you know, I would come home more 220 00:09:21,854 --> 00:09:24,022 {\an8}if my sister wasn't always up my ass all the time. 221 00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:26,817 {\an8}You know, former addicts are always just so judgy. It's like, shit. 222 00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:31,822 {\an8}So, you grew up taking care of an addict and then you married one. 223 00:09:32,531 --> 00:09:34,199 {\an8}[chuckles] Interesting. 224 00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:36,660 {\an8}Cool observation, Paul. Definitely never thought of that. 225 00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:38,328 {\an8}Look, I get the family shit. 226 00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:40,789 {\an8}My daughter comes to town to give a speech 227 00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:45,502 {\an8}and now she, my cardboard son-in-law and my ex-wife are in my home. 228 00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:48,797 {\an8}I assume they plan on murdering me with small talk. 229 00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:52,009 {\an8}What's your ex-wife like? Is she a hot piece of ass like Julie? 230 00:09:52,009 --> 00:09:53,719 Nobody's as hot as Julie. 231 00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:56,597 That's the correct answer, and I will report that back to my queen. 232 00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:59,433 - My man! [laughs] She's so hot. - [laughs] 233 00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:02,019 Um, listen, I know you said you needed some space. 234 00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:03,270 - I don't mean to cross-- - [Paul] Oh. Uh, 235 00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,731 could you just stop talking for just a second? 236 00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:07,608 - Why? - So I can leave. 237 00:10:08,192 --> 00:10:10,694 I am so bored with this shit. 238 00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:12,613 - Okay. - Everyone is. 239 00:10:14,156 --> 00:10:16,992 Who's everyone, Paul? It's just three of us who work here. 240 00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:20,162 Gaby, look, I need some help with Alice. 241 00:10:20,162 --> 00:10:22,289 Mm-hmm. I heard about that tit punch. 242 00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:25,042 That's crazy Connor has two hot girls fighting over him. 243 00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:27,711 That poor little cherub has no idea he peaked at 19. 244 00:10:27,711 --> 00:10:29,171 [chuckles] 245 00:10:29,171 --> 00:10:31,673 I just wish I knew why Alice did it, you know? But she won't talk to me. 246 00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:32,966 Tell me you didn't guilt her. 247 00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,510 I don't guilt children. 248 00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:36,678 I guilted her so bad. 249 00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:38,180 Why do you always have to make shit about you? 250 00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:39,890 You wanna be friends again? 251 00:10:39,890 --> 00:10:42,267 Real friends tell each other hard truths, so here you go. 252 00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:46,605 All Alice needs is to feel loved, and maybe take her out and cheer her up 253 00:10:46,605 --> 00:10:48,398 so she doesn't feel like the whole world is ending. 254 00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:50,484 You don't need to know why she bonked her best friend's boyfriend. 255 00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:51,443 She knows why she did it. 256 00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:53,820 Besides, nobody's hiring you to teach a master class 257 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,739 on how to choose an appropriate fuck buddy. 258 00:10:57,366 --> 00:11:00,452 I know you're just being mean but that would be a super popular class. 259 00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:04,498 ["Kevin's Car" playing] 260 00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:05,916 You didn't have to drive me. 261 00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:07,417 Are you kidding? I wanted to. 262 00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:10,295 That's what you decided to wear on your first day of school? 263 00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:12,965 You look like a police sketch. [chuckles] 264 00:11:12,965 --> 00:11:15,050 I'm sure Summer already told everybody about what I did, 265 00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:17,219 so it's time to go be the school slut. 266 00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,012 You know what? 267 00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:20,931 Put your... Put your seat belt back on. 268 00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:22,391 What? Why? 269 00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:25,269 [music continues] 270 00:11:25,269 --> 00:11:26,186 Okay. 271 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,230 - [Jimmy] Whoo! - [school bell rings] 272 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,487 [Alice] A tattoo? Really? 273 00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:37,948 You're turning 18 in a few weeks. 274 00:11:37,948 --> 00:11:39,867 I figure you're gonna get one whether I say yes or not. 275 00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:41,118 Definitely. 276 00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:44,454 Though, I was gonna get it somewhere you'd never see. 277 00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:47,791 For all I know, you did that already. 278 00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:48,876 [laughs] 279 00:11:50,169 --> 00:11:51,628 You laughed way too hard at that. 280 00:11:52,254 --> 00:11:53,255 [guests chattering] 281 00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:55,591 Here you go, grumpy. Eat something. 282 00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,594 [Paul's ex-wife] Well, you must be a saint. 283 00:11:58,594 --> 00:12:02,306 The only thing I can think of worse than being in a relationship with Paul 284 00:12:02,306 --> 00:12:04,558 is being in a relationship with an old Paul. 285 00:12:04,558 --> 00:12:06,852 [chuckles] Luckily, he's afraid of me. 286 00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:08,478 Congrats. 287 00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:11,023 There he is. 288 00:12:11,023 --> 00:12:12,482 [Paul's ex-wife laughs] 289 00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:14,401 - [grunts] - [doorbell rings] 290 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:17,154 How cool is it that Susie and Julie are hitting it off? 291 00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:18,405 So cool, Dave. 292 00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:21,825 Hope they talk about how I fuck. 293 00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:26,955 - Right. Uh, well... So, how are-- - Get me a glass of red wine, will you? 294 00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:29,291 Yep. Coming up. 295 00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:31,001 [Julie] I'm lucky for every hour I get past sunset. 296 00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:32,586 Here's Kevin. 297 00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:33,837 Why does he call you Kevin? 298 00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:37,132 He's trying to keep me grounded, but it's not working. 299 00:12:37,132 --> 00:12:39,801 - Hello, beautiful Julie. - Brian. [chuckles] 300 00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:42,846 And you must be beautiful Susan. Charmed, I'm sure. 301 00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:45,182 - I like him. - Yeah, he's very sparkly. 302 00:12:45,182 --> 00:12:47,851 Sorry that I'm late. I was meeting someone. 303 00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:50,562 Oh, and I got your all-caps email. 304 00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:54,024 The answer is no, you can't sue your neighbor for hosting a drum circle. 305 00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:55,901 It's weekly, Kevin. 306 00:12:55,901 --> 00:12:59,905 All right, everyone. Grab your cocktails. We're playing running charades. 307 00:12:59,905 --> 00:13:01,406 - Dad, your favorite. - [sighs] 308 00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:04,117 - What's running charades? - How the fuck would I know? 309 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:06,745 Oh, listen. Before you play, I made the revisions to the family trust. 310 00:13:06,745 --> 00:13:10,249 - I just need Susan to sign this. - Susan. 311 00:13:10,249 --> 00:13:14,169 We probably should've done this back when Mason was born, 312 00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:18,257 but Paul was busy hiding from me for 20 years. 313 00:13:18,257 --> 00:13:21,134 - [laughs] You're fun. - Thank you. 314 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,262 - She's fun. - So fun. 315 00:13:23,262 --> 00:13:24,555 Yeah. [chuckles] Hey, Dave. 316 00:13:24,555 --> 00:13:26,181 So, what I was trying to tell you earlier-- 317 00:13:26,181 --> 00:13:27,516 - No. - Nope. 318 00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:30,060 You gotta get me outta here. 319 00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:32,354 No, no, no. Do not involve me in this. 320 00:13:32,354 --> 00:13:33,438 I won't. 321 00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:38,443 Uh, everyone, I'm sorry. I gotta go to Kevin's office and sign this thing. 322 00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:41,113 There's some problem. He'll explain why. 323 00:13:41,113 --> 00:13:43,323 [stammering] I need Paul to sign this 324 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,491 - in front of a notary... - Oh, man. 325 00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,493 ...and the only guy I know can't walk, so we gotta go to him. 326 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,078 It's a tragic story really. 327 00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:49,454 Jesus Christ. 328 00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:56,170 - [phone buzzes] - Oh. 329 00:13:58,213 --> 00:13:59,673 - Hi. - Is that Mac? 330 00:14:00,174 --> 00:14:01,383 Tell him I said hi. 331 00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:02,509 And Mac's a stupid name. 332 00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:03,844 [sighs] 333 00:14:04,428 --> 00:14:05,679 How you doing? 334 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:06,930 It's a total shit show here. 335 00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:08,182 Derek's torturing me 336 00:14:08,182 --> 00:14:10,601 and Connor's gone back into full whiny bitch mode. 337 00:14:10,601 --> 00:14:12,728 - Mom? - Yes, sweetheart? 338 00:14:12,728 --> 00:14:14,104 Can I watch TV in your room? 339 00:14:14,104 --> 00:14:16,899 Of course. I love you so much. 340 00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:19,776 Oh, my God. What a puss. How are you? 341 00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:22,529 Prepping for the worst, but you know, we got this. 342 00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,281 We are strong, Black women. 343 00:14:24,281 --> 00:14:27,117 Okay. I'ma let you get away with that just this once. [grunts] 344 00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:28,327 - Copy that. - Bye. 345 00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:33,207 Oh, you think 'cause you got that big-ass water bottle 346 00:14:33,207 --> 00:14:35,042 that you better than everybody? 347 00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:36,835 Mind your own damn business, Mr. Bailey. 348 00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:37,961 Shit. 349 00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:39,338 You waiting on an invite 350 00:14:39,338 --> 00:14:41,507 or did you just forget this is your house since you never visit? 351 00:14:41,507 --> 00:14:43,300 Dragging me from the front porch, huh? 352 00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:45,802 Oh, she porch-drag everybody. 353 00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:48,180 - Shut the fuck up, Mr. Bailey. - Yeah, be quiet, Mr. Bailey. 354 00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:49,348 - Damn. - Damn. 355 00:14:49,348 --> 00:14:51,266 [Gaby] Looking like a Splash Mountain operator. 356 00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:52,434 [needle buzzing] 357 00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:54,311 Dad, are you not gonna look? 358 00:14:54,311 --> 00:14:56,647 No. But it sounds and smells amazing. 359 00:14:57,189 --> 00:14:58,148 Done. 360 00:14:58,148 --> 00:15:01,360 - What's "TL" stand for? - It's my mom's initials. 361 00:15:02,528 --> 00:15:04,196 Hey, what was the deal with Mom's tattoos? 362 00:15:04,196 --> 00:15:07,699 Was there any special meaning behind the skeleton on the skateboard? 363 00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:09,326 There was, as a matter of fact. 364 00:15:09,326 --> 00:15:13,330 It meant that she was very drunk that night, so... [chuckles] 365 00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:15,749 You want some ink? Give you a buy one, get one. 366 00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:18,377 I don't think I'm really interested in a discount tattoo. 367 00:15:18,377 --> 00:15:22,047 Dad, it would mean a lot to me if we both had Mom's initials tattooed. 368 00:15:22,047 --> 00:15:23,549 Are you guilting me now? 369 00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:24,967 Please? 370 00:15:25,843 --> 00:15:27,427 [sighs] Fuck. 371 00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:33,141 So, what was that back at your place? 372 00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:36,144 - No, thank you. - Oh, come on. You can talk to me. 373 00:15:36,687 --> 00:15:37,855 We're in the cone of silence. 374 00:15:39,648 --> 00:15:41,817 Did you ever cheat on one of your romantic partners? 375 00:15:41,817 --> 00:15:44,611 Not sure how much you know about the gay community in California 376 00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,822 but we're very big on monogamy. 377 00:15:46,822 --> 00:15:48,115 Oh. 378 00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:50,242 Well, in the '60s it was the opposite. 379 00:15:50,242 --> 00:15:51,451 How about that? 380 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,704 For the record, I've never cheated on Charlie. 381 00:15:53,704 --> 00:15:57,124 Susan and I got married so fucking young. 382 00:15:57,124 --> 00:16:01,170 And just when Meg came along, my career took off. 383 00:16:01,712 --> 00:16:05,757 Books, speaking tours, the whole deal. 384 00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:08,468 We grew apart. [sighs] 385 00:16:09,303 --> 00:16:10,804 So you were a cliché. 386 00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:14,641 I'm not interested in your participation in my story. 387 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:15,976 Yeah, right. 388 00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:19,062 We had a big fight. Didn't speak for days. 389 00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:24,902 And then one morning, she calls my hotel room and says she's sorry 390 00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:30,657 but what she doesn't know is that there's another woman in my bed. 391 00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:32,534 Gasp. 392 00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:34,286 [chuckles] Sorry. 393 00:16:34,286 --> 00:16:38,874 I admitted it and she took Meg away so fast. 394 00:16:38,874 --> 00:16:40,042 [chuckles] 395 00:16:41,752 --> 00:16:44,338 I was so full of shame that I didn't really fight back. 396 00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:47,925 I have no idea why she wants to reconnect now. 397 00:16:47,925 --> 00:16:49,551 Why don't you just ask her? 398 00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:53,096 Because if it's got anything to do with the past, I'm not interested. 399 00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:54,556 So you're scared? 400 00:16:54,556 --> 00:16:57,017 I'm not scared. [breathes deeply] 401 00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:58,560 I'm apprehensive. [sighs] 402 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,021 A solid synonym for scared. 403 00:17:01,605 --> 00:17:04,691 [breathes deeply] 404 00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:06,652 I love pain. 405 00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:09,154 Okay. 406 00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:13,075 Drive me home now, Kevin. 407 00:17:14,159 --> 00:17:16,244 [Jimmy screaming] 408 00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:20,040 Dad. Dad. 409 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:21,124 Dad. 410 00:17:21,625 --> 00:17:23,252 [grunts] Is that one needle? 411 00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:26,046 That's one needle? That's one needle? Is that one needle? 412 00:17:26,547 --> 00:17:29,675 Answer me! Is that one needle? I just wanna know how many needles it is. 413 00:17:29,675 --> 00:17:30,592 [laughs] 414 00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:33,053 [sighs] Her eyes have gotten so bad. 415 00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:34,888 - She needs the cataract surgery. - [sighs] 416 00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:36,765 I'm afraid she gon' hurt herself. 417 00:17:37,266 --> 00:17:38,725 And she always got a tit out. 418 00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:40,769 I mean, Mom's tits have always been out. She's proud of 'em. 419 00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:43,188 And you know she's stubborn. She might not even listen to me. 420 00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:44,565 Oh, please. 421 00:17:44,565 --> 00:17:47,276 She's gonna be all, "Gaby, my baby angel. 422 00:17:47,276 --> 00:17:50,904 Are you tired? Why don't you lay your head on my loose titty?" 423 00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,322 - Okay. - [Gaby's mom] Oh! 424 00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:55,534 - There's my baby angel. - Mama. 425 00:17:55,534 --> 00:17:58,912 - Oh, Mama. - Oh. It's so good to see you. 426 00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:02,541 [chuckles, gasps] Ooh, you hair looks amazing. 427 00:18:02,541 --> 00:18:04,918 See, I told you her eyes aren't working. 428 00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:06,253 Oh, my God, be quiet. 429 00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:07,212 [stammers] 430 00:18:07,212 --> 00:18:10,591 It's a 15-minute in-office procedure. What are you so afraid of? 431 00:18:10,591 --> 00:18:12,593 I know they cut open your eyeball. 432 00:18:12,593 --> 00:18:14,052 How else they gon' get in there? 433 00:18:14,052 --> 00:18:15,387 I don't want 'em in there. 434 00:18:15,387 --> 00:18:16,388 Then you can't drive no more-- 435 00:18:16,388 --> 00:18:18,098 - Okay. - Who are you talking... [stammers] 436 00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:19,433 - Wait, wait. Mom. - You a danger to the road. 437 00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:20,350 What? 438 00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:24,229 Mom, can you please get the surgery? For me? 439 00:18:25,898 --> 00:18:27,274 All right, fine. For you. 440 00:18:28,025 --> 00:18:31,653 But I don't want no eye patch though. I ain't no damn pirate. 441 00:18:32,738 --> 00:18:34,531 [clicks tongue] Okay, now you say "Thank you," 442 00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:35,699 and then I will say "You're welcome." 443 00:18:35,699 --> 00:18:36,950 Fuck you, Gaby. 444 00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,745 You are welcome. 445 00:18:44,625 --> 00:18:46,835 - The shelter isn't using my dog pics. - [sighs] 446 00:18:46,835 --> 00:18:50,130 They say it's easier to just take them on their phones and post them. 447 00:18:50,631 --> 00:18:51,924 Do you believe this shit? 448 00:18:53,008 --> 00:18:54,051 Okay. 449 00:18:54,051 --> 00:18:56,762 I know you love giving me the silent treatment, 450 00:18:56,762 --> 00:19:01,308 but remember if it goes longer than two days I start to like it. 451 00:19:02,559 --> 00:19:04,186 [grunts] I'll talk to you this weekend. 452 00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:06,188 Goddamn, I just talked. 453 00:19:08,065 --> 00:19:09,066 [Liz] Hey, Connor. 454 00:19:09,066 --> 00:19:10,859 I was thinking, with Summer, 455 00:19:10,859 --> 00:19:13,570 why don't you just be grateful for the amazing 456 00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:16,156 and emotional nine days you had together? 457 00:19:16,156 --> 00:19:18,408 - Ten. - Even more meaningful. 458 00:19:19,451 --> 00:19:22,829 But you've got to go back to college in a positive headspace. 459 00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,665 I mean, the semester starts soon, yeah? 460 00:19:25,457 --> 00:19:26,959 Classes started last week. 461 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:30,170 [stammers] I was having such a good time with Summer 462 00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:32,464 and now I feel like I have to stay so that I can fix this. 463 00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:33,757 Please don't be mad. 464 00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:36,176 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 465 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:38,011 [clicks tongue] I feel like you're mad. 466 00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:39,263 I'm not mad. 467 00:19:39,805 --> 00:19:41,056 Um, I just need some air though. 468 00:19:44,476 --> 00:19:45,936 [Jimmy hums] 469 00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:49,898 - Hey, Liz. - Oh, my God, he's everywhere. 470 00:19:49,898 --> 00:19:52,651 Check this out. I got matching tattoos with Alice. 471 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:54,820 That's Tia's initials. 472 00:19:54,820 --> 00:19:57,406 At first, I thought it might be tricky, you know, when I start dating again, 473 00:19:57,406 --> 00:19:59,366 to have another woman's initials on my arm, 474 00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:02,619 but then I realized it's a pretty cool way to tell someone my wife's dead. 475 00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:04,162 Not now, Jimmy. [sighs] 476 00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:05,080 Everything okay? 477 00:20:05,998 --> 00:20:07,374 Earth to Lizzie. 478 00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,376 Lizzie, you okay? Lizzie. 479 00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:11,545 You can't help yourself, can you? 480 00:20:11,545 --> 00:20:14,923 Fine. Do you know where Alice got the idea for a tiny tattoo? 481 00:20:14,923 --> 00:20:18,260 From me. From my tiny tattoos. 482 00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:21,972 We came up with it back when I was raising her for you. 483 00:20:22,681 --> 00:20:24,808 Oh, and do you know what I just found out? 484 00:20:24,808 --> 00:20:27,603 Connor's school just started, but he's not there, 485 00:20:27,603 --> 00:20:31,815 because he's in my kitchen crying because your daughter slept with him 486 00:20:31,815 --> 00:20:33,984 and fucking exploded his life. 487 00:20:33,984 --> 00:20:36,195 - Oh, boy. - [imitates Jimmy] Oh, boy. Oh, boy. 488 00:20:36,195 --> 00:20:38,197 - I don't sound like that. - That's exactly how you sound. 489 00:20:38,197 --> 00:20:39,865 Listen, Connor is the one who cheated. 490 00:20:39,865 --> 00:20:45,370 Do you really think there's a world where Connor gets to choose who he fucks? 491 00:20:45,954 --> 00:20:48,665 - No. - I feel like I'm losing it, Jimmy. 492 00:20:48,665 --> 00:20:52,753 And every time I feel that way, I can trace it back to one person. 493 00:20:52,753 --> 00:20:54,213 Yeah. You. 494 00:20:54,213 --> 00:20:57,633 And many, many thanks for bringing Sean into my life 495 00:20:57,633 --> 00:21:01,553 so I could start a business and... Oh, find my purpose. 496 00:21:01,553 --> 00:21:02,638 "Find your purpose, Liz." 497 00:21:02,638 --> 00:21:07,059 Now, it's turned into a giant shit pie that I have to eat. 498 00:21:07,059 --> 00:21:10,729 - It's not my fault that you went-- - I am not done yet. 499 00:21:10,729 --> 00:21:14,691 You totally fucked up our friend group with your needy penis. 500 00:21:14,691 --> 00:21:19,488 Maybe it's not sad or selfish, but it's so needy. 501 00:21:19,488 --> 00:21:20,781 - It's okay. - And then, 502 00:21:20,781 --> 00:21:23,242 you mess with Pam's construction crew. 503 00:21:23,242 --> 00:21:25,661 Now they're throwing bottles into our yards. 504 00:21:25,661 --> 00:21:29,998 And normally, Derek would help me through my meltdown, 505 00:21:29,998 --> 00:21:33,418 but thanks to you, he's not speaking to me, 506 00:21:33,418 --> 00:21:36,630 and for some reason, I don't like it this time. 507 00:21:36,630 --> 00:21:39,633 I apologized for that and you forgave me. 508 00:21:39,633 --> 00:21:42,177 You're unforgiven. You are fucking unforgiven. 509 00:21:42,177 --> 00:21:45,055 And you're the original unforgiver. 510 00:21:45,055 --> 00:21:47,850 But you don't care. You don't do anything about it. 511 00:21:47,850 --> 00:21:49,393 Like with Gaby. 512 00:21:49,393 --> 00:21:51,019 I finally had a cool friend. 513 00:21:51,019 --> 00:21:54,314 I even bragged to all the people I hate about her, 514 00:21:54,815 --> 00:21:56,984 but because she doesn't come around here anymore, 515 00:21:56,984 --> 00:21:58,777 they don't believe she's real. 516 00:21:58,777 --> 00:22:01,405 And yes, I might've said she was 7' tall. 517 00:22:01,405 --> 00:22:03,782 But you drove her away and you've done nothing about it. 518 00:22:03,782 --> 00:22:05,909 You're just sitting around 519 00:22:05,909 --> 00:22:08,203 waiting for someone to gallop in on their white horse 520 00:22:08,203 --> 00:22:10,706 and fix everything for you because that's what you fucking do. 521 00:22:10,706 --> 00:22:11,623 Right? Isn't it? 522 00:22:11,623 --> 00:22:13,166 Fuck you, Jimmy. 523 00:22:13,750 --> 00:22:15,919 - [door opens, closes] - This was a fun day. 524 00:22:18,088 --> 00:22:21,258 If you go the adoption route, I have a few questions. 525 00:22:21,258 --> 00:22:24,136 And remember, there are no wrong answers. 526 00:22:24,136 --> 00:22:26,680 Okay, first up, any racial preferences? 527 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,390 What's Pedro Pascal? 528 00:22:28,390 --> 00:22:30,392 Uh, maybe there are some wrong answers. 529 00:22:30,392 --> 00:22:32,311 [chuckles] Okay, next question. 530 00:22:32,311 --> 00:22:35,856 Would you be willing to consider a child with a medical condition 531 00:22:35,856 --> 00:22:37,733 who may require extra care? 532 00:22:37,733 --> 00:22:39,526 Of course. 533 00:22:39,526 --> 00:22:40,736 [mouthing word] No. 534 00:22:40,736 --> 00:22:42,362 [stammers] I can see you. 535 00:22:42,362 --> 00:22:46,116 You can just say no. Lots of bad people say no. 536 00:22:46,116 --> 00:22:48,744 I have a question. [breathes deeply] 537 00:22:48,744 --> 00:22:51,496 - What if this baby doesn't take to me? - Oh. 538 00:22:51,997 --> 00:22:52,915 Can we send it back? 539 00:22:52,915 --> 00:22:57,878 Well, there are no returns, uh, but there is a 30-day exchange policy. 540 00:22:57,878 --> 00:23:00,756 - Really? - No. It's a baby. [chuckles] 541 00:23:00,756 --> 00:23:02,633 Is this how it's going to be? 542 00:23:02,633 --> 00:23:04,801 - You'll get used to it. - [both chuckle] 543 00:23:04,801 --> 00:23:07,679 I don't think I will. [chuckles] 544 00:23:07,679 --> 00:23:09,348 - [chuckling] - [sighs] 545 00:23:09,348 --> 00:23:13,560 So, let me see. You embarrassed yourself by being yourself? 546 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:15,187 How is that my fault? 547 00:23:15,187 --> 00:23:16,605 Because, thanks to you, 548 00:23:16,605 --> 00:23:19,233 I'm freaking out that I'm gonna end up with an estranged daughter 549 00:23:19,233 --> 00:23:21,068 and an ex who won't speak to me. 550 00:23:22,069 --> 00:23:23,320 Just talk to your ex. 551 00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:25,364 You don't even know why she's here. 552 00:23:25,364 --> 00:23:28,033 Maybe she found a painting worth a billion dollars and you get half. 553 00:23:28,033 --> 00:23:29,535 It could be fun news. 554 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:31,828 - [scoffs] - [Susan laughs] 555 00:23:31,828 --> 00:23:33,914 - [Dave chattering] - [Susan laughs] 556 00:23:33,914 --> 00:23:35,040 Susan. 557 00:23:36,625 --> 00:23:38,043 [whispering] Why are you here? 558 00:23:38,043 --> 00:23:41,547 I had a friend who recently got diagnosed with Parkinson's. 559 00:23:41,547 --> 00:23:43,006 She died a few months later. 560 00:23:43,006 --> 00:23:46,426 And I felt like you and I should talk again before you die. 561 00:23:52,140 --> 00:23:53,141 You were right. 562 00:23:54,309 --> 00:23:55,602 Fun news. 563 00:23:55,602 --> 00:23:57,521 I like it. Why don't you brainstorm on it 564 00:23:57,521 --> 00:24:01,233 and then we will actually get more into that next week. 565 00:24:01,233 --> 00:24:02,985 Sounds good. Thanks, Professor Evans. 566 00:24:02,985 --> 00:24:04,528 All right. Bye. Bye. 567 00:24:05,571 --> 00:24:07,197 Professor Evans? 568 00:24:07,197 --> 00:24:11,535 Okay. Well, can you please go pick up Mom from her surgery on Monday? 569 00:24:11,535 --> 00:24:13,412 - Mmm. Mmm. - I'd super appreciate it. Thank you. 570 00:24:13,412 --> 00:24:16,331 No, I can't, actually, because I have clients all day 571 00:24:16,331 --> 00:24:17,708 and then I have class... 572 00:24:17,708 --> 00:24:19,418 Why? What are you doing? 573 00:24:19,418 --> 00:24:20,961 Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not allowed to have a life? 574 00:24:20,961 --> 00:24:22,796 Come on. This is why you live here. 575 00:24:22,796 --> 00:24:26,884 No, I live here to wait on Mom and drive her back and forth to dialysis. 576 00:24:26,884 --> 00:24:28,927 You know what it's like to take care of somebody 24-7? 577 00:24:28,927 --> 00:24:31,305 I do actually, because growing up I did it. 578 00:24:31,305 --> 00:24:32,472 We all did. 579 00:24:32,472 --> 00:24:34,600 Do you know how many sacrifices I had to make for you? 580 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,727 Do you know how many school dances I missed out on, 581 00:24:36,727 --> 00:24:38,979 because we were getting you in and out of rehab? 582 00:24:38,979 --> 00:24:40,522 I could've ground on so many dudes. 583 00:24:40,522 --> 00:24:42,399 - You did fine. - Whatever. 584 00:24:42,399 --> 00:24:45,527 Spare me the pity party, all right. It's your turn to come through. 585 00:24:45,527 --> 00:24:47,571 I know I spent the past couple years taking care of Mom 586 00:24:47,571 --> 00:24:48,739 because that's my penance. 587 00:24:48,739 --> 00:24:50,574 I put everyone through hell. 588 00:24:50,574 --> 00:24:53,952 I just didn't think I'd have to spend the rest of my life paying for it 589 00:24:53,952 --> 00:24:57,080 while you get to go out there and just live yours. 590 00:24:59,750 --> 00:25:02,920 Nothing else to say? I thought people paid you to talk. 591 00:25:05,923 --> 00:25:07,424 Actually they pay me to listen. 592 00:25:10,886 --> 00:25:15,724 I have been avoiding you because I'm a coward. 593 00:25:15,724 --> 00:25:17,643 Not how I would've phrased it. 594 00:25:17,643 --> 00:25:18,977 What would you say? 595 00:25:18,977 --> 00:25:20,479 Little baby chicken bitch. 596 00:25:21,980 --> 00:25:23,190 It's better. 597 00:25:24,191 --> 00:25:27,778 To be honest with you, I thought you were coming out here to make me feel guilty. 598 00:25:28,654 --> 00:25:30,781 But if I practice what I preach, 599 00:25:31,949 --> 00:25:34,910 I really should have met you with more goodwill. 600 00:25:35,953 --> 00:25:37,496 {\an8}Great call on these pliers, Dad. 601 00:25:37,496 --> 00:25:39,373 {\an8}Ah, yeah. Perfect for deveining shrimp. 602 00:25:39,373 --> 00:25:43,001 Yeah. And there's no one I'd rather devein shrimp with than you. 603 00:25:43,502 --> 00:25:46,004 [chuckling] Okay. 604 00:25:47,714 --> 00:25:49,925 Look, I want to, uh, talk to you about something. 605 00:25:51,051 --> 00:25:52,427 I followed you home the other night. 606 00:25:53,178 --> 00:25:56,139 - I saw you live with your therapist. - Yeah. 607 00:25:56,139 --> 00:26:00,143 What's really going on? I'm not mad, I just want it to make sense. 608 00:26:00,936 --> 00:26:01,937 [sighs] 609 00:26:01,937 --> 00:26:04,690 I want us to be able to be around each other 610 00:26:04,690 --> 00:26:05,858 while we still can. 611 00:26:06,483 --> 00:26:08,735 Remember Meg's boring school plays? 612 00:26:08,735 --> 00:26:12,364 We used to pass around that flask and play pick-and-sip. 613 00:26:12,364 --> 00:26:15,701 Every time a kid picked his nose, we'd take a drink. 614 00:26:16,577 --> 00:26:18,829 Nasty little fuckers got us hammered. 615 00:26:20,664 --> 00:26:24,168 How did we get here? Why can't we be around each other at all? 616 00:26:25,043 --> 00:26:26,420 Because I cheated. 617 00:26:28,380 --> 00:26:29,965 And I fucked it all up. 618 00:26:30,883 --> 00:26:36,138 I couldn't forgive myself, so how could you forgive me? 619 00:26:36,138 --> 00:26:38,473 Paul, you're forgiven. 620 00:26:39,933 --> 00:26:42,352 Jesus, I forgave you a long time ago. 621 00:26:42,352 --> 00:26:43,812 You could've told me. 622 00:26:43,812 --> 00:26:46,273 - Where would be the fun in that? - [chuckles] 623 00:26:46,982 --> 00:26:50,277 Yeah, you were an asshole, but I resented your success. 624 00:26:51,195 --> 00:26:52,821 And I know I made things harder for you. 625 00:26:53,447 --> 00:26:54,573 [door opens] 626 00:26:55,282 --> 00:26:56,366 Everyone okay out here? 627 00:26:56,366 --> 00:26:57,534 We're all good. 628 00:26:57,534 --> 00:26:58,702 Talking. 629 00:26:59,536 --> 00:27:00,579 This is good. 630 00:27:02,372 --> 00:27:05,459 Still, no matter what we did to each other, 631 00:27:06,084 --> 00:27:07,419 we made Meg. 632 00:27:07,419 --> 00:27:09,338 And she's perfect. 633 00:27:10,214 --> 00:27:11,298 Yeah, she is. 634 00:27:11,298 --> 00:27:14,218 And now Mason. Can you believe how lucky we are? 635 00:27:16,261 --> 00:27:17,804 What about Dave? 636 00:27:21,892 --> 00:27:23,393 I didn't mention him, did I? 637 00:27:23,393 --> 00:27:27,189 Susan, thank you for this. 638 00:27:28,315 --> 00:27:29,316 And them. 639 00:27:30,025 --> 00:27:34,446 When you're connected by so much family and love, 640 00:27:34,446 --> 00:27:36,823 {\an8}forgiveness is the easy part. 641 00:27:36,823 --> 00:27:40,953 So, I asked for your help and maybe I didn't do it right but... 642 00:27:41,662 --> 00:27:46,041 I guess it felt like you let me down and I didn't know how to tell you. 643 00:27:46,041 --> 00:27:47,543 Maybe I didn't wanna tell you. 644 00:27:50,003 --> 00:27:51,964 [exhales deeply] 645 00:27:53,507 --> 00:27:54,716 I knew this shit would happen. 646 00:27:55,509 --> 00:27:57,135 Fucking therapists. 647 00:27:57,886 --> 00:27:59,930 Always telling you to blame the parents. 648 00:27:59,930 --> 00:28:01,348 Nobody told me to blame you. 649 00:28:01,348 --> 00:28:02,808 Now, what was the worst thing I did? 650 00:28:02,808 --> 00:28:05,310 Was it the 23 years of loving you no matter what? 651 00:28:05,310 --> 00:28:08,856 Was it draining my savings to hang with you in this fucking truck 652 00:28:09,690 --> 00:28:11,650 even though I have a full-time job? 653 00:28:11,650 --> 00:28:13,652 Tell me what I did to let you down. 654 00:28:14,528 --> 00:28:15,362 Tell me. 655 00:28:16,446 --> 00:28:17,322 Exactly. 656 00:28:17,322 --> 00:28:19,950 Save the bullshit for someone else. 657 00:28:21,827 --> 00:28:24,454 [breathing deeply] 658 00:28:33,046 --> 00:28:34,423 Jimmy, what the hell are you doing here? 659 00:28:35,716 --> 00:28:37,551 Just so you know my intentions are pure. 660 00:28:38,844 --> 00:28:39,887 What the fuck, dude? 661 00:28:40,888 --> 00:28:44,099 Shit! That is a mistake. I thought I was wearing black underwear. 662 00:28:44,099 --> 00:28:47,102 Look, I'm here because I feel like you might need some support. 663 00:28:47,811 --> 00:28:50,480 And for whatever reason, your mom and your sister seem to really like me. 664 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:52,482 That's 'cause I used to tell them you were fucking awesome. 665 00:28:53,525 --> 00:28:55,903 I'm not doing a very good job at giving you your space. 666 00:28:55,903 --> 00:28:58,614 [sighs] And I will be better about that. 667 00:29:00,032 --> 00:29:03,744 If now's not a good time, I totally get it and I'll split. 668 00:29:03,744 --> 00:29:06,622 ["Bittersweet" playing] 669 00:29:10,042 --> 00:29:11,043 [sighs] 670 00:29:13,378 --> 00:29:14,546 You coming inside or what? 671 00:29:17,799 --> 00:29:19,551 And then Courtney has the nerve to call me out 672 00:29:19,551 --> 00:29:21,303 like I'm holding her hostage or some shit. 673 00:29:21,303 --> 00:29:22,513 Can you believe that? 674 00:29:22,513 --> 00:29:24,139 [breathes shakily, chuckles] 675 00:29:26,225 --> 00:29:27,184 What's happening? 676 00:29:27,184 --> 00:29:29,811 I drove over here to be supportive of you, 677 00:29:30,521 --> 00:29:33,899 but then you also said that friends tell each other hard truths. 678 00:29:33,899 --> 00:29:35,651 This is awful. Can I take a quick shower? 679 00:29:35,651 --> 00:29:36,693 No. Spit it out. 680 00:29:36,693 --> 00:29:38,820 - Your sister's right, Gaby. - Oh, my God. Fuck off. 681 00:29:38,820 --> 00:29:41,240 Come on, she is. She's right. You know it. 682 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:43,742 [sighs] Goddamn it. 683 00:29:45,619 --> 00:29:47,579 - Sorry. - [sighs, groans] 684 00:29:48,288 --> 00:29:49,790 Do you want me to split now? 685 00:29:49,790 --> 00:29:50,958 Nice try. 686 00:29:50,958 --> 00:29:53,168 Dinner's gonna suck balls, so you're staying. 687 00:29:53,168 --> 00:29:55,462 - Do they know we slept together? - No. 688 00:29:56,630 --> 00:29:57,798 Then I got my icebreaker. 689 00:29:57,798 --> 00:29:58,882 [chuckles] 690 00:29:58,882 --> 00:29:59,967 You're stupid. 691 00:30:01,468 --> 00:30:03,303 [sighs] 692 00:30:03,303 --> 00:30:04,429 [knocks on door] 693 00:30:06,557 --> 00:30:07,891 - Hey. - Hey. 694 00:30:07,891 --> 00:30:10,978 I DoorDashed you tacos, but they brought me the wrong order, 695 00:30:10,978 --> 00:30:17,818 so here is CVS-brand Robitussin and those acne nose pore strips. 696 00:30:18,443 --> 00:30:20,404 Actually sounds like a fun night. 697 00:30:20,404 --> 00:30:21,655 [music continues] 698 00:30:22,698 --> 00:30:24,533 I'm really sorry for messing everything up. 699 00:30:24,533 --> 00:30:27,619 You hurt Connor, and I love him more than anyone in the world. 700 00:30:28,579 --> 00:30:30,998 But I love you second best. 701 00:30:30,998 --> 00:30:32,291 You have two other sons. 702 00:30:32,291 --> 00:30:33,500 I said what I said. 703 00:30:34,459 --> 00:30:36,378 You and me, we're gonna be good, right? 704 00:30:37,254 --> 00:30:39,631 You've got a rock. I just need a little time. 705 00:30:39,631 --> 00:30:40,716 Okay. 706 00:30:43,218 --> 00:30:45,220 - Was that enough time? - Almost. 707 00:30:46,221 --> 00:30:49,683 As you can see, we can improve photovoltaic absorption 708 00:30:49,683 --> 00:30:55,022 with semi-conductor materials, fine-tuned for specific spectral ranges. 709 00:30:55,564 --> 00:31:01,153 I should mention these... [continues indistinctly] 710 00:31:23,467 --> 00:31:25,093 - Come on. - Yeah, child. 711 00:31:25,093 --> 00:31:26,178 I put a little sugar in it too. 712 00:31:26,178 --> 00:31:28,138 - The sure is Gouda. - Get your elbow off the table, baby. 713 00:31:28,138 --> 00:31:30,224 - Yeah. Get your elbow-- - Oh, Lord have mercy-- 714 00:31:30,224 --> 00:31:32,601 They picked up the trash cans this morning. 715 00:31:32,601 --> 00:31:34,561 Why are your garbage cans still on the street? 716 00:31:34,561 --> 00:31:36,605 - [groans] - Why the hell are you in our lawn? 717 00:31:36,605 --> 00:31:38,023 We're not doing this with you, Mr. Bailey. 718 00:31:38,023 --> 00:31:39,274 You're a garbage can. 719 00:31:39,274 --> 00:31:40,901 Yeah. Screw you, Mr. Bailey. 720 00:31:40,901 --> 00:31:41,985 - [gasps] - You don't do that. 721 00:31:41,985 --> 00:31:43,070 You show that man some respect. 722 00:31:43,070 --> 00:31:44,988 He's a veteran. Apologize to him. 723 00:31:44,988 --> 00:31:46,073 Yes, ma'am. 724 00:31:46,073 --> 00:31:49,201 [clears throat] I'm sorry, sir. 725 00:31:49,743 --> 00:31:51,495 [clears throat] Thank you for your service. 726 00:31:51,495 --> 00:31:52,704 There. Good. 727 00:31:54,206 --> 00:31:56,625 Now, get on out of here. Crazy person. 728 00:31:56,625 --> 00:31:58,418 [chuckles] 729 00:32:02,798 --> 00:32:05,342 [construction crew chattering, laughing] 730 00:32:09,346 --> 00:32:11,348 [engine starts] 731 00:32:17,062 --> 00:32:19,565 - That motherfucker. Yeah. Yeah. - [laughing] 732 00:32:21,275 --> 00:32:22,442 What the fuck? 733 00:32:22,442 --> 00:32:23,944 You forgot that. 734 00:32:24,862 --> 00:32:27,406 Don't take another step unless you wanna get your ass beat. 735 00:32:31,535 --> 00:32:33,620 [chuckles] Big mistake. 736 00:32:40,460 --> 00:32:43,338 - You really want this? Come get it. - [crew member 2] Okay. Here he comes. 737 00:32:43,338 --> 00:32:46,592 - [scuffling] - [grunting] 56975

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