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1
00:00:11,012 --> 00:00:13,490
Who sings this?
2
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:16,994
What am I, the expert
in country music?
3
00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:18,996
Ask this guy.
4
00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,998
Why, because he has a hat
5
00:00:21,022 --> 00:00:22,499
he's going to know?
6
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,001
Ask him.
7
00:00:24,025 --> 00:00:25,002
Excuse me.
8
00:00:25,026 --> 00:00:26,003
Pardon me.
9
00:00:26,027 --> 00:00:28,505
Do you happen to
know who sings this?
10
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:29,506
Excuse me?
11
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:32,009
Do you know who's
singing this song?
12
00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:33,510
Oh, it's Garth Brooks.
13
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,512
Garth what? What?
14
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:36,513
Garth Brooks.
15
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,904
Garth Brooks.
16
00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:44,576
He doesn't know.
17
00:00:56,323 --> 00:00:58,468
♪ Tell me why ♪
18
00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:00,037
♪ I love you like I do ♪
19
00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:01,938
♪ Tell me who ♪
20
00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:04,474
♪ Can stop my heart
As much as you ♪
21
00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:07,977
♪ Let's take each other's hand ♪
22
00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:10,313
♪ As we jump into
The final frontier ♪
23
00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:12,871
♪ I'm mad about you, baby ♪♪
24
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:25,095
Should we open some champagne?
25
00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:26,096
For what?
26
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:27,097
To celebrate.
27
00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:28,265
I lost.
28
00:01:28,289 --> 00:01:31,601
I know, but we
won the door prize.
29
00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:34,438
What a splendid door prize...
A professional tea brewer.
30
00:01:34,462 --> 00:01:36,940
There's no such thing
as professional tea.
31
00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:40,009
Tea that gets
paid for being tea?
32
00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:43,080
Look at this. "Used
by real Englishmen."
33
00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:44,414
Could you tell me?
34
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,916
How do I lose
to a film like that?
35
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:48,618
The Trouble with Barnacles.
36
00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:50,287
It's all political.
37
00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:52,622
My film is about the
first Iraqi-born janitor
38
00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:55,024
to ever work in the Pentagon.
39
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:56,293
That's fascinating.
40
00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:58,628
He sweeps up after
the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
41
00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:00,063
Think about what he sees.
42
00:02:00,087 --> 00:02:02,399
All I need's one hour
to review this stuff,
43
00:02:02,423 --> 00:02:04,901
then you can
complain all you want.
44
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:06,403
All right. Fair enough.
45
00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:07,904
What a hack.
46
00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:10,840
To call that a film...
47
00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:13,042
You have to stop it,
because I have to review this.
48
00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:15,945
Want some coffee?
It'll help you stay up.
49
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,680
I don't want to stay up.
50
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:19,483
I want to review this,
listen to you complain,
51
00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:20,550
then go to bed.
52
00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:22,819
All right. I'm done complaining.
53
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:23,820
Okey-dokey.
54
00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:25,322
A film about
national security...
55
00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:26,823
They don't care about that.
56
00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:28,325
But barnacles,
that's fascinating.
57
00:02:28,349 --> 00:02:30,327
Scraping off a hull...
That's important.
58
00:02:30,351 --> 00:02:32,829
Honor that. That's
like a big deal.
59
00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:34,531
Give that guy something special.
60
00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:36,866
Hey, you want a cup of tea?
61
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:39,369
Maybe I'll use my
professional tea brewer.
62
00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:40,870
What a good idea.
63
00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:41,871
Sure.
64
00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:43,940
Okay, the Paris peace talks,
65
00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:45,275
The guy's name...
66
00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:47,110
Peace talks. Le Duc Tho.
67
00:02:47,134 --> 00:02:49,246
That's right. How do you know?
68
00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:51,748
Because our parents
used to play bridge together.
69
00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:54,239
The Buchmans and
the Duc Thos, yes.
70
00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:57,720
All right. What do we got?
71
00:02:57,744 --> 00:03:00,723
Tea, tea. We got
all sorts of tea.
72
00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:02,225
What do we got?
73
00:03:02,249 --> 00:03:05,228
Apple Apricot, Apricot Apple,
74
00:03:05,252 --> 00:03:07,063
Soothing Sunrise,
75
00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:10,900
Kiss-Today-Goodbye Mint.
76
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:12,902
Hooray for Lemons.
77
00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:16,773
Oh, here we go. Here we go.
78
00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:19,809
What, are you kidding me?
79
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:23,480
We haven't kept Milkbones
there for, like, over a year.
80
00:03:23,504 --> 00:03:27,584
You're so behind in
your food movements.
81
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,586
You know, for an animal,
82
00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:33,878
you have very little sense
of your surroundings.
83
00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:43,888
Murray?
84
00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:54,110
Want to go play?
85
00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:56,045
I will give you a snack,
86
00:03:56,069 --> 00:04:00,049
and I'll let you eat
it right off the table.
87
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,341
You're no fun.
88
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:32,349
How long are we
going to be doing this?
89
00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:33,850
Hey, are you awake?
90
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,485
Yes, yes, I'm awake.
91
00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:36,986
I can't sleep.
92
00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:39,723
Sure, you can.
I've seen you do it.
93
00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:41,725
I keep thinking about my test.
94
00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:44,026
Questions keep
popping into my head.
95
00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:46,529
Answer the questions,
and let me sleep.
96
00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:48,197
Okay, tell me a story.
97
00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:49,699
Tell you a story.
98
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,701
What, are you 6?
99
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:53,102
Please. Listening
to one of your stories
100
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:57,039
will help me sleep.
101
00:04:57,063 --> 00:05:00,042
Is that going to help me
feel good about myself?
102
00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:02,044
I mean because you soothe me.
103
00:05:02,068 --> 00:05:04,281
I see. All right. Comfortable?
104
00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:05,548
Yes.
105
00:05:05,572 --> 00:05:09,719
Okay. All right.
Once upon a time...
106
00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,388
Not that kind of story.
107
00:05:11,412 --> 00:05:12,722
What'd you just say?
108
00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:13,790
I mean a story about you.
109
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:17,727
Oh. Even better. All right.
110
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:19,729
Okay, did I ever tell you
111
00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:22,231
about the time I
was in film school?
112
00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:23,900
I had this brilliant idea
113
00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:26,403
for a documentary
about the garment district.
114
00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:28,905
A Day in the Life of a Button?
115
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:31,908
A Day in the Life of
a Button. That's right.
116
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:34,911
And everybody said,
"No, it can't be done.
117
00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:37,480
"No one cares about
a view of the world
118
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:40,049
seen through the eyes
of a small piece of plastic."
119
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:42,051
But you weren't intimidated.
120
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:43,453
You stuck to your guns.
121
00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:44,788
Who's telling the story?
122
00:05:44,812 --> 00:05:46,289
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
123
00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:47,957
So I made the film...
124
00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:49,426
Mm-hmm...
125
00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:52,161
And was nominated for
my first Silver Sprocket...
126
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,096
Which you lost...
127
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:55,998
Want to know why?
128
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:58,100
Because these people are idiots.
129
00:05:58,124 --> 00:06:00,603
They have no vision,
which is why tonight,
130
00:06:00,627 --> 00:06:03,606
they give the award to
some hack in a rented tuxedo
131
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:05,274
with his cummerbund upside down,
132
00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:07,276
the ridges going
up, catching crumbs.
133
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:10,413
It was pathetic to watch
him standing there.
134
00:06:10,437 --> 00:06:11,914
Am I boring you?
135
00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:13,450
Not enough.
136
00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:16,118
I'm going to make
you a cup of tea.
137
00:06:16,142 --> 00:06:17,787
You've made me four cups.
138
00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:21,290
But the fifth cup of
this tea really kicks in.
139
00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:23,393
This one will
knock you right out.
140
00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:26,062
It's that kind of tea.
141
00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:27,853
I wish we had a lawn.
142
00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:37,907
All right. This, my friend,
this is going to put you out.
143
00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:39,909
You'll be snoring in no time.
144
00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:41,411
This... all right.
145
00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:43,079
No. Don't use that one.
146
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,080
Why not?
147
00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:45,749
It has caffeine in it.
148
00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:48,685
It does?
149
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:51,087
Oops.
150
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:52,589
What did you say?
151
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:53,990
I said troops.
152
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:55,859
They gave it to the
troops in the war
153
00:06:55,883 --> 00:06:56,993
because... the decaf.
154
00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:59,863
They couldn't sleep
with the shelling and...
155
00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:01,330
This isn't decaf!
156
00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:02,532
You pumped me full of caffeine?
157
00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:03,867
Not on purpose. I...
158
00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:06,369
Atomic Zinger? Does
that sound calming to you?
159
00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:08,371
I didn't think it through.
160
00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:10,039
You couldn't give me something
161
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:12,375
that said "slumber" or "sleepy"
162
00:07:12,399 --> 00:07:14,277
or "She's tired.
I'll help her out"?
163
00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:16,178
Tea's tea. What's
the difference?
164
00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:19,682
This has caffeine. I'm
never going to sleep.
165
00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:22,285
Forget tea. We'll watch
the crazy guy on channel 38
166
00:07:22,309 --> 00:07:23,787
with the white beard.
167
00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:24,921
Forget it.
168
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,424
10 minutes of this
guy, you'll fall asleep.
169
00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:30,427
The more you try to
sleep, the more you can't.
170
00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:32,429
It's like the erection thing.
171
00:07:32,453 --> 00:07:35,432
Hey... I told you, that
happens to everybody.
172
00:07:35,456 --> 00:07:38,100
Yeah, and what do
you do when it happens?
173
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:40,603
You just roll over
and go to sleep.
174
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:43,105
I can't roll over
and go to sleep.
175
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:46,876
Well, roll over and
try to get an erection.
176
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:50,379
Of course, by morning I'm going
to be crashing like a meteorite.
177
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:52,048
You're not going to crash.
178
00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:54,050
My brain's going
to turn to mush.
179
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:57,053
I'll flunk and have to
learn all that stuff again.
180
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:58,521
No. I'll do everything I can
181
00:07:58,545 --> 00:08:00,289
to help you fall asleep.
182
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,792
You'll keep me
company until I fall asleep.
183
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,294
Even if I have to
stay all night up.
184
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,797
And you should because
you're the one, hello,
185
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,654
that gave me the wrong tea.
186
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,607
How long does it take
187
00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:19,642
to break in one pair of shoes?
188
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:24,180
A long time, especially
if you're sitting.
189
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:26,683
You know who moved
into our building?
190
00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:27,684
Gomez Addams.
191
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:30,753
When did we buy doilies?
192
00:08:30,777 --> 00:08:32,755
Seriously. From...
From the Addams family?
193
00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:34,757
Gomez Addams moved
into the penthouse.
194
00:08:34,781 --> 00:08:36,225
Raul Julia?
195
00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:40,363
No, the real Gomez, John Astin.
196
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:42,866
John Astin does not
live in our building.
197
00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:44,367
Why wouldn't he?
198
00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:45,902
He just doesn't.
199
00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:47,971
That's the basis
of your argument,
200
00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:50,640
"he just doesn't"?
201
00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:52,976
Why can't you give this to me?
202
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,511
It costs you nothing.
203
00:08:54,535 --> 00:08:55,712
Rrrr...
204
00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:57,179
Listen to me. I'm telling...
205
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,048
Fine. He lives in the building.
206
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:01,551
You say that, but
you don't believe it.
207
00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:02,886
What are you doing?
208
00:09:02,910 --> 00:09:04,521
Give me your feet.
209
00:09:04,545 --> 00:09:06,389
I'm going to put
you to sleep already.
210
00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:09,058
Why would I make that
up about John Astin?
211
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:11,227
I'm trying to impress you?
212
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:12,729
This isn't working.
213
00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:16,699
I could dance on a
tightrope and twirl plates.
214
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,200
What, you're carnival people?
215
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:20,703
Yes. I'm the amazing awake lady.
216
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,827
Get me... I'm up.
217
00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:44,260
You know, sweetie,
when you get a good idea,
218
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:46,896
you get a good idea.
219
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:50,166
Ooh. That was the paper.
220
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:53,169
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Finish your thought.
221
00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:57,473
I want to get the paper
before the Hamiltons steal it.
222
00:09:57,497 --> 00:09:59,876
Why do you say the
Hamiltons steal it?
223
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:02,378
Because every time
our paper isn't here,
224
00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:05,014
I see rubber bands
near the Hamiltons' door.
225
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:07,772
You have this whole other
life I know nothing about.
226
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:12,989
Let's steal the happy face
off the Hamiltons' door.
227
00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:14,657
Why would we do that?
228
00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:17,159
Because they've had
that stupid happy face
229
00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:19,161
on their door for two years.
230
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:20,496
It's a happy face.
231
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:21,998
"Have a nice day."
232
00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:23,165
I don't need the pressure.
233
00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:24,500
Know what? You've snapped.
234
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:26,970
Please. I think it
will make me drowsy.
235
00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:27,994
All right.
236
00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:33,442
Oh, God, I think they heard us.
237
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:36,901
I hope you're very
proud of yourself.
238
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:40,783
What did you do?
239
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:41,784
What?
240
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:42,785
It's locked.
241
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,286
I pushed the button.
242
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:45,688
I pushed the button. Why?
243
00:10:45,712 --> 00:10:47,289
To unlock the door.
244
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:48,958
You locked the door.
245
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,627
No, you locked the door.
246
00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:52,028
I was trying to unlock it.
247
00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:55,064
Well, you succeeded in
doing the exact opposite.
248
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:57,066
Look, I... it's not really...
249
00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:58,701
Oh, you're up.
250
00:10:58,725 --> 00:11:00,236
Look, this just
fell off your door.
251
00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:01,926
It was...
252
00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:16,853
Oh, great. Now
I'm getting tired.
253
00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:19,355
You stay up until
we get the key.
254
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,024
You're getting sleepy now
255
00:11:21,048 --> 00:11:22,859
because you know
you can't go to sleep.
256
00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:24,861
And because you locked the door.
257
00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:26,362
We had this discussion.
258
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:28,531
We decided you were wrong.
259
00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:30,033
Hey, Mr. Wicker.
260
00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:31,034
Hello, Buchmans.
261
00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:32,035
Where's Jose?
262
00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:33,202
Aspen.
263
00:11:33,226 --> 00:11:34,737
The elevator guy's in Aspen?
264
00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:37,373
For two weeks. Next month,
Eddie's going to Trenton.
265
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,542
Guess who's going
to play doorman.
266
00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:41,678
First I get elevator
duty at night,
267
00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:43,012
roof duty in the morning...
268
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:44,346
What is roof duty?
269
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:45,982
Don't ask.
270
00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:47,917
Everybody wants
something from Mr. Wicker.
271
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,919
"Do me this." "Get me that."
272
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:51,353
I'm human, too, you know.
273
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:52,789
What can I do for you?
274
00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:56,292
Uh... those slippers we
got you for Christmas,
275
00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:57,626
they working out well?
276
00:11:57,650 --> 00:11:58,627
I love them.
277
00:11:58,651 --> 00:11:59,962
We need a key.
278
00:11:59,986 --> 00:12:00,963
Locked out?
279
00:12:00,987 --> 00:12:02,965
Actually, he...
We got locked out.
280
00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:05,467
Hop on. Got a
spare in the office.
281
00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:07,970
Bet you're wondering how
we locked ourselves out.
282
00:12:07,994 --> 00:12:10,639
My guess is, one of
you pushed the button,
283
00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:13,609
and then the other
one pushed the button.
284
00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:15,867
Uh-huh. 33 years here.
285
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:20,416
You know, these manually
operated elevators,
286
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:21,751
they've always fascinated me.
287
00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:23,820
It's like a lost art.
288
00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:26,322
I asked to go
automatic years ago.
289
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:28,858
Did they listen? Of
course not. Basement.
290
00:12:28,882 --> 00:12:32,028
Watch the elevator.
I'll be back in a minute.
291
00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:34,697
I always wanted to
operate one of these things.
292
00:12:34,721 --> 00:12:36,733
Don't touch it.
293
00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:39,401
It's like a hankering.
I hanker to do it.
294
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:43,706
P.H., elevator talk
for your penthouse.
295
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:45,208
Wait for Wicker.
296
00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:48,144
Did I tell you John Astin
moved into the penthouse?
297
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:49,979
The same John Astin
298
00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:52,148
that doesn't live
in this building?
299
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:56,418
Miss Naysayer, I'm going
to prove something to you.
300
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,020
You don't have a license
301
00:12:58,044 --> 00:13:00,089
to operate one of these things.
302
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:03,092
What, am I going to
veer into the wrong lane?
303
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,128
I just want my bed.
304
00:13:05,152 --> 00:13:08,330
Okay, here we go. Penthouse.
305
00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:10,299
Hi. Floor, please?
306
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:14,503
The lobby, thank you.
307
00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:16,861
Lobby it is.
308
00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:23,312
Where's uh, Jose?
309
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:24,781
Aspen.
310
00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:27,283
Jose the elevator
man is in Aspen?
311
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:31,876
Yeah. Two weeks.
We're filling in.
312
00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:41,430
We're... we're, uh...
big fans of your work.
313
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:43,032
My work?
314
00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:45,201
Gomez Addams.
315
00:13:45,225 --> 00:13:48,137
Touche.
316
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:50,139
Tell me that's not him.
317
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,640
That's not him.
318
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:52,675
Why are you being so difficult?
319
00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:54,243
That's him.
320
00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:57,413
What are you, uh,
whispering about?
321
00:13:57,437 --> 00:14:00,983
Oh, uh, this is his first
time operating an elevator.
322
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,485
You're doing a
bang-up job, my man.
323
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:06,189
Well, you should see
me open the doors.
324
00:14:06,213 --> 00:14:07,456
We're the Buchmans. 11-D?
325
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,158
Oh, glad to meet you, Buchmans.
326
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,760
You'll have to come
up to dinner sometime.
327
00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:13,062
Do you eat goose?
328
00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:15,898
What, are you
kidding? We're fanatics.
329
00:14:15,922 --> 00:14:18,362
I'll have to alert the wife.
330
00:14:20,861 --> 00:14:21,838
What?
331
00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:26,342
Who was that, Hermione Gingold?
332
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,010
Why would the man lie?
333
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:30,012
To toy with someone like you.
334
00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:32,681
I can't believe you
can't give this to me.
335
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,683
This place gives me the creeps.
336
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,352
What are you scared of?
337
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,120
Mr. Wicker!
338
00:14:38,144 --> 00:14:39,856
Yo! Mr. Wicker!
339
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:40,890
"Yo"?
340
00:14:40,914 --> 00:14:43,059
I want to sound
bigger just in case.
341
00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:44,793
You said there's
nothing to be scared of.
342
00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:46,729
Let's get him.
343
00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:47,730
You go.
344
00:14:47,754 --> 00:14:49,065
You don't want to go?
345
00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:50,066
It's creepy.
346
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:51,234
I'll get him.
347
00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:52,735
Don't leave me here!
348
00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:56,239
You want me to go get
him and wait here with you?
349
00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:57,806
All right, let's go.
350
00:14:57,830 --> 00:14:59,808
But if we get murdered,
351
00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:02,500
you're in a lot of trouble.
352
00:15:05,671 --> 00:15:06,983
No office here.
353
00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:08,985
Who said there was an office?
354
00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:09,986
Wicker.
355
00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:11,320
Show me an office.
356
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:14,678
We must've missed it.
Let's go back to the elevator.
357
00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:17,159
"No access."
358
00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:19,661
I can't believe we
didn't wait for him.
359
00:15:19,685 --> 00:15:20,997
Didn't I say,
360
00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:23,366
"Let's just wait for
him in the elevator"?
361
00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:25,001
I can't believe you
locked the door.
362
00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:26,369
I mean, this door.
363
00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:28,337
I didn't touch this door!
364
00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:31,195
Want to know something?
I liked that barnacle movie.
365
00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:35,511
I'm sure it's the
tea talking now.
366
00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:39,181
Let's walk up to the
lobby. Eddie will let us in.
367
00:15:39,205 --> 00:15:40,582
All right.
368
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:43,085
The barnacle comment,
that was just to hurt me.
369
00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:44,420
Yes, it was.
370
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:45,444
All right.
371
00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:49,792
"No access."
372
00:15:49,816 --> 00:15:51,060
Oh, that's just perfect.
373
00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:56,966
Oh, co... Eddie! Eddie!
374
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:58,000
He's sleeping.
375
00:15:58,024 --> 00:16:00,469
The man opens
a door for a living.
376
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:02,871
How can he be tired?
377
00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:07,143
I made you a copy so
this wouldn't happen agai...
378
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:09,645
Buchmans.
379
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:11,981
Buchmans?
380
00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:16,752
This is how they
watch an elevator?
381
00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:19,755
Hey, when did Ho Chi
Minh first come to popularity?
382
00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:24,493
I believe that was right
after Moo Shu pork.
383
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:26,162
Another locked door.
384
00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:31,567
Loc Door. Didn't he
overthrow Moo Shu pork?
385
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,802
Want to pass this test or not?
386
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:37,006
I have about as much
chance of passing this test
387
00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:39,908
as you have of winning
a Silver Sprocket.
388
00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:41,510
Wow, are you punchy.
389
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:46,715
U Punchy. Didn't he
come into power in 1932?
390
00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:51,709
Buchmans? Buchmans?
391
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:55,846
No, the other Buchmans.
392
00:16:57,717 --> 00:17:00,562
Don't worry. They'll come
home sooner or later, right?
393
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:03,954
I just painted the place.
394
00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:08,804
Aah!
395
00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:10,906
Hey.
396
00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:14,832
Want to join the
10-story-high club?
397
00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:26,489
You are a huge
goofball, you are.
398
00:17:26,513 --> 00:17:27,490
Ooh, sorry.
399
00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:29,992
No, no, no! No, no, no!
400
00:17:30,016 --> 00:17:32,528
Wait! Wait!
401
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,530
We got a lot of yogurt,
402
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:37,433
we got Chinese food,
we got egg salad...
403
00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:43,194
Number two. Chinese food. Great.
404
00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:54,450
You look like the kind of guy
405
00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:57,953
who doesn't like to eat alone.
406
00:17:57,977 --> 00:18:00,689
Twisted my arm, huh?
407
00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:05,294
Look at this.
Somebody's got a lawn.
408
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:07,263
Buchmans!
409
00:18:07,287 --> 00:18:10,166
So glad you could join us!
410
00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:12,168
What... what...
What are we joining?
411
00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:14,670
We were just
sitting down to lunch.
412
00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:16,439
You guys eat lunch on the roof
413
00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:18,174
at 4:00 in the morning?
414
00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:21,410
I'd like you to meet
my wife, Waula Lea.
415
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,411
Waula Lea,
416
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:25,013
These are the Buchmans.
417
00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:26,515
Yes, we certainly are.
418
00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:27,816
Enchantee.
419
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,140
Cara mia!
420
00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:33,956
You know what you do to me
421
00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:35,260
when you speak French?
422
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:38,660
It drives me wild.
423
00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:40,896
It really does, you know.
424
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,832
Okay, it's him, it's him.
425
00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:45,434
That's all I'm saying.
426
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,002
Look at that moon.
427
00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:49,271
Can't even see the moon.
428
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,575
Precisely.
429
00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:52,841
Sit down.
430
00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:54,343
We're not really dressed...
431
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:55,844
Yeah, we're not dressed,
432
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:57,379
although... tuxedo shoes.
433
00:18:57,403 --> 00:19:00,416
Perfect. Tuxedo jackets.
434
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:03,619
What, do you... You...
you bring extra jackets?
435
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:06,788
Jackets for everyone,
I say. That's my motto.
436
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:08,124
He's got a motto.
437
00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:09,125
I see.
438
00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:11,427
I got to get me a motto.
439
00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:12,794
Sit, sit, sit, sit.
440
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:15,297
This is not a
great night for us.
441
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:16,532
I have this test...
442
00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:17,699
We were up all night...
443
00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:20,302
We were. We haven't slept.
444
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,471
Plus, I lost this award.
445
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:23,495
Fabulous!
446
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:31,835
Cara mia... the night air calls.
447
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:42,991
Do you tango, Buchmans?
448
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:48,497
Well, uh... not as
much as we'd like, no.
449
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:50,854
Well, grab her, man.
450
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:57,061
No, no, no. Don't grab me.
451
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:01,009
I don't think it's him.
452
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,144
What?
453
00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:03,845
I don't think that's John Astin.
454
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:06,182
Why are you doing this to me?
455
00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:08,684
He's acting exactly
like he did on TV.
456
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:11,187
So the real guy
wouldn't do that.
457
00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:15,023
This... this guy, he's...
Listen to me. I think...
458
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,124
Buchmans! Switch!
459
00:20:16,148 --> 00:20:17,881
Um, actually, we...
460
00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:35,077
You know, it's been
really a lovely evening,
461
00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:38,080
but we really
should say au revoir.
462
00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:40,716
You can't fool
me. That's French.
463
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,506
Ah!
464
00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:49,558
Ohhh...
465
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:52,416
You should see me eat corn.
466
00:20:58,524 --> 00:21:00,502
Okay, just settle this with me,
467
00:21:00,526 --> 00:21:02,003
because we've been discussing...
468
00:21:02,027 --> 00:21:03,939
You are him, aren't you?
469
00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:05,095
Of course I am.
470
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:10,846
No, you're not. No, you're not.
471
00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:12,336
Of course I'm not.
472
00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:14,683
Seriously.
473
00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:16,184
What do you like?
474
00:21:16,208 --> 00:21:19,054
I... I... I...
475
00:21:19,078 --> 00:21:21,056
Oh. Now, you know what?
476
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:23,191
Now I say you are.
477
00:21:23,215 --> 00:21:25,026
Then I am.
478
00:21:25,050 --> 00:21:27,062
Honey, let it go.
479
00:21:27,086 --> 00:21:28,731
All right, whatever it was,
480
00:21:28,755 --> 00:21:31,233
it was certainly
nice to meet you.
481
00:21:31,257 --> 00:21:32,735
Oh... thank you.
482
00:21:32,759 --> 00:21:34,236
Good night.
483
00:21:34,260 --> 00:21:35,671
Au revoir.
484
00:21:35,695 --> 00:21:39,375
Cara mia!
485
00:21:39,399 --> 00:21:40,709
Can you do the flips?
486
00:21:40,733 --> 00:21:42,544
Honey, let them eat.
487
00:21:42,568 --> 00:21:43,545
What's that?
488
00:21:43,569 --> 00:21:45,046
The guy on TV
489
00:21:45,070 --> 00:21:47,849
could do backflips
into the next room.
490
00:21:47,873 --> 00:21:50,207
The flips! Say no more.
491
00:22:02,522 --> 00:22:04,522
All right, it's him.
492
00:22:15,468 --> 00:22:17,946
Helloooo, Wicker!
493
00:22:17,970 --> 00:22:22,840
Good thing I got a big canopy.
494
00:22:35,655 --> 00:22:37,755
Wicker, I love living here.
33316
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