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[THUNDER]
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>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S A
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COVER CHARGE?
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>> IT'S POLICY.
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INNKEEPER BALROD WANTS TO RAISE
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MONEY FOR A NEW SIGN.
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>> AA NEW SIGN?
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WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH THE OLD
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ONE?
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>> QUIET, STINK!
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I'LL HANDLE THIS.
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A NEW SIGN?
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WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH THE OLD
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ONE?
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>> HE SAID THEY MISSPELLED
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SOMETHING ON IT.
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>> HMM. WHAT'D THEY MISSPELL?
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>> WELL, THE NAME OF THE BAR IS
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THE DRAGON'S KNEECAP.
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>> DAMN IT!
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THIS ISN'T THE PLACE!
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[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
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YOU!
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TELL ME WHICH WAY TO THE
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SWINE'S FACE TAVERN AND BE
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QUICK, OR THE LAST THING YOU'LL
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SEE WILL BE THE POINT OF MY
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RUSTY MEAT HOOK PRESSING INTO
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YOUR RETINA.
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>> ITIT'S 3 BLOCKS DOWN ON
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THE LEFT.
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>> HANG ON.
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>> I BETTER WRITE THIS DOWN.
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[BUZZING]
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>> UH...
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[DOG WHIMPERS]
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>> HUH?
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>> GOOD EVENING.
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[MAN COUGHING]
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>> ALL RIGHT. COME ON.
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AND...SIT.
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SIT DOWN!
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STINK!
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>> YES, UMUM, SIR.
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>> I TOLD THEM TO GO THE OTHER
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WAY.
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THEY TOOK THAT WAY INSTEAD.
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>> I TOLD YOU HE WOULDN'T BE
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HERE!
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>> I BLAME THAT DOORMAN.
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>> IF I HAVE TO TELL YOU TWO
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ONE MORE TIME!
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>> WAIT.
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LISTEN.
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[URINATING]
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[TAPPING]
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>> THE GREAT CITIES HAVE RISEN
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AND FALLEN, CIVILIZATION'S GRIP
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ON MANKIND HAS GROWN WEAK AND
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ARTHRITIC, DARK FORCES SEEK TO
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RENEW FORGOTTEN COVENANTS, AND
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PRIMORDIAL BEASTS RECLAIM THE
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WILDERNESS.
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OUT OF THE FROZEN NORTH, A MAN
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EMERGES, A MAN OF A BARBARIC
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AGE, WHOSE MERCILESS SAVAGERY
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MAY BE THE ONLY KEY TO HIS
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SURVIVAL.
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THEY CALL HIM KORGOTH!
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[HEAVY METAL PLAYING]
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[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
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TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
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>> 'TIS HIM.
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>> AYE.
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>> STINK, GO AND TALK TO HIM.
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>> UH...WHAT ABOUT THE ROLL?
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>> 9?
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>> 9 IS, UM, STINK.
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>> HE ALWAYS WINS.
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>> [MUTTERING]
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[GULP]
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UH, GREETINGS, YOUR LARGENESS,
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UH, SIR.
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YOU ARE THE ONE KNOWN AS
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KORGOTH, ARE YOU NOT?
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WELL, YOU SEE, SIR.
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WE WERE SENT HERE TO TAKE YOU
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TO SEE OUR MASTER, AND, WELL,
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YOU SEE, OUR MASTER, WELL,
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SOMETIMES HE'S NOT VERY NICE,
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SO WHEN
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>> [BELCHES]
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>> HEH HEH.
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UH.
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ECHH.
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VERVERYVERY GOOD, SIR.
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LOOK, MISTER.
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YOU'RE TO COME WITH US IF YOU
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KNOW WHAT'S RIGHT FOR YOU.
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THE SILENT TREATMENT, HUH?
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WELL, WE HAVE WAYS OF DEALING
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WITH
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>> HERE'S YOUR BEER, KORGOTH.
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NO MORE FREEBIES THIS MONTH,
OK?
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>> UNH!
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>> ERR!
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>> OHH!
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>> [éLING]
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>> [SCREAMING]
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>> AAH! OHH!
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>> AAH!
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>> AAH!
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[HEAVY METAL PLAYING]
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>> UEEH!
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>> AAH!
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UNH!
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>> YOU!
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YOU WILL REGRET WHAT YOU HAVE
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DONE THIS DAY.
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I WILL MAKE YOU REGRET EVER
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BEING BORN.
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YOU'RE GOING TO WISH YOU NEVER
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LEFT YOUR MOTHER'S WOMB, WHERE
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IT WAS WARM AND SAFE AND WET.
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I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU PAIN YOU
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NEVER KNEW EXISTED.
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YOU'RE GOING TO SEE A WHOLE NEW
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SPECTRUM OF PAIN, LIKE A
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RAINBOW!
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>> YOU TELL HIM, SKROTUS.
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AAH!
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>> BUT THIS RAINBOW IS NOT JUST
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LIKE ANY OTHER RAINBOW.
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IT'S...
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AAH!
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>> AAH!
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>> AAH!
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>> AAH!
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>> AAH!
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>> AAH!
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>> AAH!
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>> AAH!
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>> AAH!
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>> AAH!
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>> AAH!
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AAH!
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>> WHAT DO YOU WANT?
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>> WE WERE SENT TO TAKE YOU TO
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SEE OUR LEADER.
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>> WHO'S THAT?
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>> II'M NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL.
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UNH!
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WAIT!
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THERE'S GOLD!
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>> AAH!
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>> HA HA HA!
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>> AAH!
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AAH!
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>> HA HA HA!
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[SLURPS]
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HEE HEE HEE!
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WHAT HAVE WE GOT HERE?
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HA HA HA!
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MM.
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MM.
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>> MASTER, WE HAVE BROUGHT YOU
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THEHUH?
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>> AAH!
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>> HA HA HA!
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HA HA HA!
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AAH!
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YOU BITCH!
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HA HA HA!
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HOW'D YOU LIKE THAT?
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OH, KORGOTH.
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YOU MADE IT.
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>> GOG-MA-GOGG, I HAD A ROTTEN
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FEELING YOU WERE BEHIND THIS.
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>> AND BY ROTTEN, I'M ASSUMING
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YOU MEAN PLEASURABLE.
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>> NICE HOVEL YOU'VE MADE FOR
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YOURSELF.
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>> WELL, AS THE BARON OF
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THIEVES, I HAVE APPEARANCES TO
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UPHOLD.
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COME HERE, YOU.
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GOOD OLD KORGOTH.
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LAST TIME I SAW YOU, YOU HAD A
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NOOSE AROUND YOUR NECK.
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>> I WAS TOLD IT WAS YOU WHO
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TIPPED OFF THE TOWN GUARD.
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>> ENOUGH REMINISCING.
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TELL ME, DO YOU KNOW OF THE
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WIZARD SPECULES?
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>> AYE.
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I DESPISE ALL WEAVERS OF THE
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BLACK ARTS.
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SPEAKING OF WHICH, COULD YOU
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PASS THE GRAVY?
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>> WELL, APART FROM BEING A
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DANGEROUS SORCERER, SPECULES IS
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AN AFICIONADO OF RARE AND
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CURIOUS TRINKETS, ENVIED AMONG
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FELLOW ENTHUSIASTS FOR
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RETAINING IN HIS COLLECTION THE
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LEGENDARY GOLDEN GOBLIN OF THE
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FOURTH AGE.
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>> HMM.
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>> NOW IT HAS COME TO MY
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ATTENTION VIA A LOCAL VILLAGE
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NEWSPAPER THAT SPECULES IS
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WELL-KNOWN FOR MAKING NIGHTLY
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APPEARANCES ATOP THE BALCONY OF
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HIS FLOATING TOWER, WHERE HE
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STANDS ARMS ERECT, GAZING INTO
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THE ETHER FOR AROUND 45 MINUTES
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OR UNTIL HIS ARMS GET TIRED,
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THEN RETURNS INTO HIS CASTLE
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ALONE WITH THE GOLDEN GOBLIN.
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INTERESTING, EH?
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>> I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WOULD BE
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THIS MUCH TALKING.
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>> ACCORDING TO A SEEING STONE
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I INSTALLED IN THE WIZARD'S
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FRONT YARD, SPECULES HAS NOT
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APPEARED ON HIS BALCONY FOR
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OVER A MONTH.
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>> MEANING?
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>> MEANING HE IS OBVIOUSLY NO
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LONGER AMONG THE LIVING.
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>> SORRY. I DON'T DO WIZARDS OR
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GOBLINS, FOR THAT MATTER.
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>> THE WIZARD IS DEAD.
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HIS TREASURE IS THERE FOR THE
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TAKING.
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LET ME REPHRASE THE QUESTION.
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IF YOU DO NOT BRING ME THE
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GOLDEN GOBLIN, I WILL NEVER
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GIVE TO YOU THE ELIXIR NEEDED
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TO DISPATCH THE DEADLY STOMACH
241
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PARASITE I SO STEALTHILY
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INSERTED INTO YOUR BELLY.
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HA HA HA!
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>> HA HA HA!
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WE GOT YOU!
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HA HAAAH!
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>> KILL ME, AND YOU WILL NEVER
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OBTAIN THE ELIXIR.
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IT'S A ONE OF A KIND, AND ONLY
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I KNOW ITS LOCATION.
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[GRUNTS]
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MAKE HASTE, KORGOTH.
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THE GOLDEN GOBLIN AWAITS, AND
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MY RENT IS NEARLY DUE.
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>> [SCREAMING]
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>> YOU MAY BRING WITH YOU 12 OF
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MY STRONGEST MEN, AS WELL AS
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ONE OR TWO OF THE WEAKER ONES
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JUST FOR FUN.
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FOLLOW SWAMP ROAD EAST TILL YOU
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REACH THE CHAFING CHASM.
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THEN SEEK THE FLOATING TOWER OF
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SPECULES.
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[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
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[NO AUDIO]
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>> UH-OH.
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>> HUH?
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[WHIMPERING]
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AAH!
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HUH?
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IT'S A GIRL CHAINED TO A TREE.
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OOH. WHAT'S YOUR SIGN, BABY?
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AAH!
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AAH!
275
00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:31,657
>> AAH!
276
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:34,527
>> HOLY...
277
00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:52,378
[GROWLING]
278
00:11:52,411 --> 00:11:59,318
>> MORE WOOD.
279
00:11:59,351 --> 00:12:00,820
[STOMACH PARASITE SCREECHES]
280
00:12:00,853 --> 00:12:01,587
>> IT WAS NICE OF YOU TO SAVE
281
00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:09,395
ME LIKE THAT.
282
00:12:09,428 --> 00:12:11,330
>> OH, SURE!
283
00:12:11,363 --> 00:12:13,099
SAVING IS MY SPECIALTY, ISN'T
284
00:12:13,132 --> 00:12:15,301
IT, BOYS?
285
00:12:15,334 --> 00:12:16,135
ISN'T IT?!
286
00:12:16,168 --> 00:12:16,969
>> YEAH.
287
00:12:17,002 --> 00:12:18,104
>> SPECIALTY.
288
00:12:18,137 --> 00:12:20,306
>> YEAH. SPECIALTY. RIGHT.
SURE.
289
00:12:20,339 --> 00:12:21,841
>> WELL, ALL RIGHT.
290
00:12:21,874 --> 00:12:24,343
HA HA HA!
291
00:12:24,376 --> 00:12:26,145
COME ON. GIVE ME SOME, KORGOTH.
292
00:12:26,178 --> 00:12:27,379
KORGOTH?
293
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:41,727
>> [GRUNTING]
294
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:44,497
[CAWING]
295
00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:46,766
>> LOOK!
296
00:12:46,799 --> 00:12:50,669
THE FLOATING TOWER.
297
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:51,871
>> WE MADE IT.
298
00:12:51,904 --> 00:12:54,140
HA HA HA!
299
00:12:54,173 --> 00:12:56,742
>> BUT HOW ARE WE GONNA GET IN?
300
00:12:56,776 --> 00:13:00,846
[CAWING]
301
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:11,624
>> THERE.
302
00:13:11,657 --> 00:13:12,792
>> YOU CLUMSY OAF.
303
00:13:12,825 --> 00:13:14,760
[ECHOING]
304
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:18,831
>> SHH.
305
00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:21,267
>> WHAT IN THE NAME OF BOLACH
306
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:22,568
ARE YOU DOING THAT FOR?
307
00:13:22,601 --> 00:13:23,469
>> SLATHER YOURSELF IN THE
308
00:13:23,502 --> 00:13:25,137
FLIERS' DUNG.
309
00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:25,871
THEY WILL TAKE YOU AS ONE OF
310
00:13:25,905 --> 00:13:27,373
THEIR OWN.
311
00:13:27,406 --> 00:13:28,874
>> NONSENSE!
312
00:13:28,908 --> 00:13:30,509
MY GRANDFATHER SMUGGLED
313
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:32,778
PARAKEETS FOR 30 YEARS.
314
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:37,183
I'LL SHOW YOU.
315
00:13:37,216 --> 00:13:39,752
HEY, YOU BIG, DUMB BIRD!
316
00:13:39,785 --> 00:13:41,420
LOOK AT ME!
317
00:13:41,453 --> 00:13:51,730
IAAH!
318
00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:56,468
[COOING]
319
00:13:56,502 --> 00:14:18,324
[SNIFFING]
320
00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:26,532
>> HYAH!
321
00:14:26,565 --> 00:14:56,228
>> STAY.
322
00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:57,029
>> LOOT WHAT YOU WILL, BUT DO
323
00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:58,764
NOT TARRY.
324
00:14:58,797 --> 00:15:00,000
EVEN IN DEATH, A WIZARD IS NOT
325
00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:26,525
TO BE TRUSTED.
326
00:15:26,558 --> 00:15:27,426
>> UNH!
327
00:15:27,459 --> 00:15:29,628
GOSHDARNED ARTHRITIS.
328
00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:32,164
WHAT'S THIS NOW?
329
00:15:32,197 --> 00:15:33,899
BILLS, BILLS.
330
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:42,775
[SNIFFING]
331
00:15:42,808 --> 00:15:44,109
MY RUG!
332
00:15:44,143 --> 00:15:45,644
>> WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?
333
00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:48,047
>> I AM THE WIZARD SPECULES,
334
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,249
KEEPER OF THE GOLDEN GOBLIN AND
335
00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:52,017
OWNER OF THE VERY CASTLE IN
336
00:15:52,051 --> 00:15:54,053
WHICH YOU STAND.
337
00:15:54,086 --> 00:15:54,753
>> BUT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE
338
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:55,854
DEAD.
339
00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:56,922
>> DEAD?!
340
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:59,391
I WAS ON MY VACATION.
341
00:15:59,425 --> 00:16:00,359
ALTHOUGH, THE WAY THE WOMEN
342
00:16:00,392 --> 00:16:01,593
LOOKED AT ME ON THAT CRUISE
343
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:02,528
SHIP, I MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN
344
00:16:02,561 --> 00:16:04,363
DEAD.
345
00:16:04,396 --> 00:16:05,230
HMM.
346
00:16:05,264 --> 00:16:10,436
OH, WELL.
347
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:12,504
ALLOW ME TO SHOW YOU THE DOOR.
348
00:16:12,538 --> 00:16:14,573
OH, AND WATCH THAT LAST STEP.
349
00:16:14,606 --> 00:16:17,576
IT'S A DOOZIE!
350
00:16:17,609 --> 00:16:18,444
>> AAH!
351
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:26,585
>> AAH!
352
00:16:26,618 --> 00:16:28,887
>> I FEEL SO FREE.
353
00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:30,456
>> HEE HEE HA HA!
354
00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:31,957
HUH?
355
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:37,162
[CLATTERING]
356
00:16:37,196 --> 00:16:38,597
AAH!
357
00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:39,398
>> THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS
358
00:16:39,431 --> 00:16:40,499
LIKE.
359
00:16:40,532 --> 00:16:41,600
>> YOU PUT THAT GOBLIN DOWN,
360
00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:43,302
BARBARIAN!
361
00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:45,871
IT HAS POWERS BEYOND OUR
362
00:16:45,904 --> 00:16:50,843
PRIMITIVE RECKONING.
363
00:16:50,876 --> 00:16:58,283
[PLAYING HERB ALPERT PASTICHE]
364
00:16:58,317 --> 00:17:02,788
BEHOLD.
365
00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:05,257
[STOMACH GROWLS]
366
00:17:05,290 --> 00:17:06,191
>> I THINK I HEAR MY MOTHER
367
00:17:06,225 --> 00:17:07,393
CALLING.
368
00:17:07,426 --> 00:17:13,098
>> HOLD IT!
369
00:17:13,132 --> 00:17:16,435
CONGRATULATIONS.
370
00:17:16,468 --> 00:17:19,571
OF ALL THE IMBECILES I HAVE
371
00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:21,273
EVER BEEN FORCED TO COME IN
372
00:17:21,306 --> 00:17:25,044
CONTACT WITH, YOU, A
373
00:17:25,077 --> 00:17:27,679
DUNG-COATED VAGABOND, HAVE
374
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:30,783
MANAGED TO AROUSE MEI MEAN,
375
00:17:30,816 --> 00:17:33,852
AROUSE MY IRE FAR MORE THAN ANY
376
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:37,356
OTHER, A SIN FOR WHICH THE ONLY
377
00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:43,562
PENANCE CAN BE A HIDEOUS DEATH
378
00:17:43,595 --> 00:17:45,564
AT THE HANDS OF SPECULES!
379
00:17:45,597 --> 00:17:47,166
HEH HEH.
380
00:17:47,199 --> 00:17:48,233
YOU'LL SEE!
381
00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:49,802
HA HA HEE HEE!
382
00:17:49,835 --> 00:17:52,204
HEE HEE HEE!
383
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:57,476
HA HA HA!
384
00:17:57,509 --> 00:17:59,745
[MUTTERING]
385
00:17:59,778 --> 00:18:01,580
I GOT YOU NOW!
386
00:18:01,613 --> 00:18:12,558
HA HA HA!
387
00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:14,026
HEE HEE.
388
00:18:14,059 --> 00:18:16,228
THERE YOU ARE, MY SWEET.
389
00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:20,999
NOW, DIE, BARBARIAN!
390
00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:24,837
[GROWLING]
391
00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:27,406
>> MOTHER OF BOLOCH!
392
00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:28,574
I'VE DATED GIRLS UGLIER THAN
393
00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:40,619
YOU FOR BREAKFAST.
394
00:18:40,652 --> 00:18:43,255
[ROARS]
395
00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:44,923
>> HA!
396
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:45,824
[GROWLING]
397
00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:49,728
EH?
398
00:18:49,761 --> 00:18:57,803
>> [GROANING]
399
00:18:57,836 --> 00:19:13,118
[SQUEALING]
400
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:17,289
>> HA HA HA!
401
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:22,094
YAAH!
402
00:19:22,127 --> 00:19:24,563
HEY!
403
00:19:24,596 --> 00:19:31,537
NOW YOU'VE DONE IT!
404
00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:43,715
COME HERE, SEXY.
405
00:19:43,749 --> 00:19:54,426
>> DELICIOUS.
406
00:19:54,459 --> 00:20:00,000
LONG-LASTING FLAVOR.
407
00:20:03,669 --> 00:20:05,370
OHH!
408
00:20:05,404 --> 00:20:09,107
>> ABCNOT MY FLAVOR.
409
00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:10,142
>> YOU SEEM TO HAVE DEFEATED
410
00:20:10,175 --> 00:20:11,977
ME, RAGAMUFFIN.
411
00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:16,048
WELL, GUESS AGAIN.
412
00:20:16,081 --> 00:20:25,791
OH, POWER!
413
00:20:25,824 --> 00:20:27,359
>> HEY, KORGOTH, HAVE YOU EVER
414
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:28,193
DONE IT IN SOMEONE ELSE'S
415
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,127
KITCHEN?
416
00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:35,734
OOPS.
417
00:20:35,767 --> 00:20:44,076
>> I'VE DONE A BAD THING.
418
00:20:44,109 --> 00:20:59,891
LET'S BE REASONABLE.
419
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:02,594
HEY, BIG BOY.
420
00:21:02,628 --> 00:21:04,129
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
421
00:21:04,162 --> 00:21:13,205
DON'T YOU WANT ME NO MORE?
422
00:21:13,238 --> 00:21:15,307
>> KORGOTH, THE WIZARD'S BACK.
423
00:21:15,340 --> 00:21:20,012
HEWHAT FLAVOR GUM IS THAT?
424
00:21:20,045 --> 00:21:23,348
>> [SNORING]
425
00:21:23,382 --> 00:21:24,249
I'LL CUT YOU.
426
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:26,218
OH, GIVE ME!
427
00:21:26,251 --> 00:21:27,519
>> THE ANTIDOTE.
428
00:21:27,552 --> 00:21:28,754
>> OF COURSE.
429
00:21:28,787 --> 00:21:29,755
YOU ALWAYS WERE GOOD AT
430
00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:37,763
REMEMBERING.
431
00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:40,032
>> HAIRY BALLS OF THE GODS!
432
00:21:40,032 --> 00:21:42,534
[SCREECHING]
433
00:21:42,567 --> 00:21:44,670
IT'S NOT DOING ANYTHING.
434
00:21:44,703 --> 00:21:45,671
>> THE ALCHEMIST MENTIONED IT
435
00:21:45,704 --> 00:21:47,139
WOULD TAKE SEVERAL SEASONS FOR
436
00:21:47,172 --> 00:21:49,408
IT TO TAKE EFFECT.
437
00:21:49,441 --> 00:21:51,143
REGARDLESS, I LOADED THE REST
438
00:21:51,176 --> 00:21:52,744
OF YOUR PRESCRIPTION ON THAT
439
00:21:52,778 --> 00:21:54,713
CART FOR YOUFREE OF CHARGE OF
440
00:21:54,746 --> 00:21:56,148
COURSE.
441
00:21:56,181 --> 00:21:57,649
WELL, I'LL BE GOING NOW.
442
00:21:57,683 --> 00:21:59,451
HA HA HA!
443
00:21:59,484 --> 00:22:02,220
>> AND SO ANOTHER ADVENTURE
444
00:22:02,254 --> 00:22:05,324
DRAWS TO A CLOSE IN THE EPIC
445
00:22:05,357 --> 00:22:19,371
SAGA OF "KORGOTH OF BARBARIA!"
446
00:22:19,404 --> 00:22:22,040
[FLIES BUZZING]
447
00:22:22,074 --> 00:22:24,042
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
448
00:22:24,076 --> 00:22:26,011
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
449
00:22:26,044 --> 00:22:27,913
[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
450
00:22:27,946 --> 00:22:29,915
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
451
00:22:29,948 --> 00:22:35,487
www.ncicap.org]
452
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:36,788
[PBBT]
26087
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