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00:00:02,602 --> 00:00:05,811
[FILM PROJECTOR WHIRRING]
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00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:22,762
[PHONOGRAPHIC RECORD CRACKLING]
3
00:00:22,789 --> 00:00:24,860
Take Me Out
to the Ball Game,
4
00:00:24,891 --> 00:00:27,303
sung by Edward Meeker,
Edison Records.
5
00:00:27,327 --> 00:00:34,040
♪♪
6
00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:37,276
♪ Katie Casey
was baseball mad ♪
7
00:00:37,303 --> 00:00:40,341
♪ Had the fever and had it bad ♪
8
00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:42,717
♪ Just to root
for the home town crew ♪
9
00:00:42,742 --> 00:00:46,315
♪ Ev'ry sou, Katie blew ♪
10
00:00:46,346 --> 00:00:49,384
♪ On a Saturday her young beau ♪
11
00:00:49,416 --> 00:00:52,488
♪ Called to see
if she'd like to go ♪
12
00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:55,557
♪ To see a show,
but Miss Kate said "No" ♪
13
00:00:55,588 --> 00:00:58,660
♪ "I'll tell you
what you can do" ♪
14
00:00:58,691 --> 00:01:01,865
♪ Take me out to the ball game ♪
15
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:04,876
♪ Take me outwith the crowd ♪
16
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:07,777
♪ Buy me some peanuts
and Cracker Jack ♪
17
00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:10,372
♪ I don't care
if I never get back ♪
18
00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:13,316
♪ Let me root, root, root
for the home team ♪
19
00:01:13,339 --> 00:01:16,445
♪ If they don't win
it's a shame ♪
20
00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:19,514
♪ For it's one, two,
three strikes you're out ♪
21
00:01:19,546 --> 00:01:22,789
♪ At the old ball game ♪
22
00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:29,495
♪♪
23
00:01:29,522 --> 00:01:32,833
♪ Katie Casey
saw all the games ♪
24
00:01:32,859 --> 00:01:35,897
♪ Knew the players
by their first names ♪
25
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:39,604
♪ Told the umpire he was wrong
all along ♪
26
00:01:39,632 --> 00:01:41,976
♪ Good and strong ♪
27
00:01:42,001 --> 00:01:44,982
♪ When the score
was just 2 to 2 ♪
28
00:01:45,004 --> 00:01:47,985
♪ Katie Casey knew what to do ♪
29
00:01:48,007 --> 00:01:50,851
♪ Just to cheer up
the boys she knew ♪
30
00:01:50,877 --> 00:01:54,256
♪ She made the gang
sing this song ♪
31
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:57,454
♪ Take me out to the ball game ♪
32
00:01:57,484 --> 00:02:00,465
♪ Take me outwith the crowd ♪
33
00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:03,366
♪ Buy me some peanuts
and Cracker Jack ♪
34
00:02:03,389 --> 00:02:05,960
♪ I don't care
if I never get back ♪
35
00:02:05,992 --> 00:02:08,905
♪ Let me root, root, root
for the home team ♪
36
00:02:08,928 --> 00:02:12,034
♪ If they don't win
it's a shame ♪
37
00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:15,103
♪ For it's one, two,
three strikes you're out ♪
38
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:18,241
♪ At the old ball game ♪
39
00:02:18,271 --> 00:02:24,244
♪♪
40
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,155
- I know I've been out of town.
41
00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:32,527
I've missed a lot
of games, but...
42
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:36,000
How's it going?
You enjoying baseball?
43
00:02:36,022 --> 00:02:37,626
- Not really.
44
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:39,068
- What do you mean,
"not really"?
45
00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:40,537
- I'm just not good at it.
46
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,631
- Not good at it?
Yeah, I think you're good.
47
00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:46,974
- No. Out of every person
on my team, I'm the worst.
48
00:02:48,067 --> 00:02:49,045
- Really?
49
00:02:49,068 --> 00:02:50,046
- Yes.
50
00:02:50,069 --> 00:02:51,047
- I'm surprised.
51
00:02:51,070 --> 00:02:53,573
You must have a really good team
then if you're the worst.
52
00:02:54,574 --> 00:02:55,882
Let me tell you something.
53
00:02:56,976 --> 00:03:00,480
You gotta do a lot of bad,
bad shows...
54
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:02,857
before you become
a great comedian.
55
00:03:02,882 --> 00:03:04,452
Do you know how many
shows I did
56
00:03:04,484 --> 00:03:06,225
that I stunk up the place?
57
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:07,998
- How many?
58
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,091
- I bet you a million.
59
00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:12,865
I bet you a million.
Literally, a million.
60
00:03:12,892 --> 00:03:15,839
So, I think the more
you play baseball,
61
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,569
the better you're gonna be.
62
00:03:17,597 --> 00:03:19,577
- Yeah.
- Just like me with comedy.
63
00:03:19,599 --> 00:03:21,442
And who's funnier than your dad?
Anybody?
64
00:03:21,467 --> 00:03:23,310
- No.
- Nobody!
65
00:03:23,336 --> 00:03:24,576
Right?
- Right.
66
00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:26,277
- Am I the funniest guy
you know?
67
00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:27,284
- Yup.
Funniest guy...
68
00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:29,514
- Well, you're my favorite
baseball player.
69
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:30,987
So there you go.
70
00:03:31,010 --> 00:03:31,988
- [LAUGHS] Thanks, Dad.
71
00:03:32,011 --> 00:03:34,582
- All right, go run ahead.
I'll meet you up there.
72
00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:36,787
Wait, wait, wait...
73
00:03:36,816 --> 00:03:38,261
Your bat.
All right?
74
00:03:38,284 --> 00:03:39,592
- All right.
75
00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:45,136
[BOUNCY, JAZZY ORGAN MUSIC]
76
00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:47,661
♪♪
77
00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:49,196
- Max Morris?
78
00:03:50,663 --> 00:03:51,835
Oh, my God.
79
00:03:51,864 --> 00:03:53,275
My girlfriend is gonna faint
80
00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:54,642
when she hears
I'm talking to you.
81
00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:55,873
Wait, let me just
get her on the phone.
82
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,040
One second, one second.
No, no, no.
83
00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,208
- I gotta get to my son's...
84
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,376
- Let me just get her
on the phone-Hi.
85
00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:00,577
- Hi. All right...
- Okay. No, no, no, no.
86
00:04:00,607 --> 00:04:02,382
Guess-guess who's
standing in front of me?
87
00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:03,580
Yes.
88
00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:06,648
The-your most favorite
comedian in the entire world.
89
00:04:06,679 --> 00:04:08,249
Okay?
90
00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:09,385
No.
91
00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:12,018
No...
92
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,827
Yes!
Max Morris!
93
00:04:14,854 --> 00:04:16,333
And he wants to
talk to you.
94
00:04:16,356 --> 00:04:18,063
No, he's-he's begging me.
He wants to talk to you.
95
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,399
Wait. Hold on one sec.
Here, here.
96
00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:20,403
Would you just say
"hello," please?
97
00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:21,734
- No, no, no. Seriously.
98
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,741
My kid's playing in the game.
I gotta get going.
99
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:25,037
- Please, it would mean
so much to her.
100
00:04:25,064 --> 00:04:26,975
- No, I'm sorry.
But have a nice day.
101
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,343
Really. Sorry.
102
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:33,208
- Did you hear that bastard?
103
00:04:34,407 --> 00:04:37,115
- Let's hear some chatter
out there! Phht!
104
00:04:37,143 --> 00:04:39,521
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
105
00:04:39,545 --> 00:04:41,183
- Learn to slide!
106
00:04:41,214 --> 00:04:42,921
- Let's go!
Move it!
107
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,690
- Slide! Slide! Slide!
108
00:04:46,419 --> 00:04:47,591
- Good job!
109
00:04:50,723 --> 00:04:51,633
Come on!
110
00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:53,535
- Foul ball.
111
00:04:53,559 --> 00:04:54,537
- I got it!
112
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:56,540
Mine! Mine!
113
00:04:56,562 --> 00:04:58,064
Mine!
114
00:04:58,097 --> 00:05:00,099
Mine! I see it!
115
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,737
Whoo!
116
00:05:01,768 --> 00:05:03,645
Got it!
117
00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:04,978
- Do you know where
my camera went?
118
00:05:05,004 --> 00:05:07,780
- Good morning, Cub fans!
119
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,946
As Mr. Cub, Ernie Banks,
would always say,
120
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,250
"It's a great day for two."
121
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,219
Um, couple of things...
122
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:18,729
So please indulge me.
123
00:05:18,751 --> 00:05:22,130
I have collated
a nutrition binder.
124
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:24,294
I've taken some pictures
of the homemade snacks
125
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,826
that I usually make.
126
00:05:25,858 --> 00:05:26,836
Um...
127
00:05:26,859 --> 00:05:28,998
And put together,
just some ideas,
128
00:05:29,028 --> 00:05:30,530
for you all to follow.
129
00:05:30,563 --> 00:05:32,702
Could you just pass that
around for me?
130
00:05:32,732 --> 00:05:34,040
- Would you take a look
at this...
131
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:35,045
- Mm-hmm.
132
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:36,046
- Might have a good thing
in our favor.
133
00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:37,639
- Um, also...
134
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:38,671
Snack table.
135
00:05:39,439 --> 00:05:43,910
We need 100%
parent participation.
136
00:05:43,943 --> 00:05:46,890
I need you guys...
to participate.
137
00:05:46,913 --> 00:05:48,119
Max, Ava?
138
00:05:48,147 --> 00:05:50,149
- Ava is not here.
It's just me.
139
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,491
- All right, Max.
140
00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:54,361
I've noticed that you have
not participated yet.
141
00:05:54,387 --> 00:05:56,993
- Oh, Ava usually takes care
of stuff like that.
142
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,833
- Because little Jackie comes up
to the table constantly.
143
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:02,362
I love him,
and I love sharing, but...
144
00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:03,965
- Okay.
- It's not free.
145
00:06:03,996 --> 00:06:05,600
- All right,
Vicky Sue Fitzjiminy.
146
00:06:05,631 --> 00:06:06,837
I'll be paying ya soon.
147
00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:08,140
- Rosie.
148
00:06:08,167 --> 00:06:10,204
- Right.
Right. Rosie.
149
00:06:10,236 --> 00:06:12,113
- Marty?
Marty?
150
00:06:12,138 --> 00:06:14,914
- Um, during this window
of time,
151
00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:18,650
I'm, uh, legally not allowed
to donate anything financially,
152
00:06:18,678 --> 00:06:21,181
because of my, uh,
business advisor.
153
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:24,423
But feel free to use
my name, uh, as a donor.
154
00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:27,056
And you can put me down
for, say, $100,
155
00:06:27,086 --> 00:06:28,565
with a little star next to it.
156
00:06:28,588 --> 00:06:29,931
Call me an "angel"
or something-
157
00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:31,958
you know, um,
at the top of the list.
158
00:06:31,991 --> 00:06:33,163
And I'm good with that.
159
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,471
- [SIGHS]
160
00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:42,446
Uh, I don't think
he wants to play.
161
00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:44,470
I really don't think
he wants to play.
162
00:06:44,504 --> 00:06:45,744
I'm telling ya.
163
00:06:45,772 --> 00:06:47,012
- He wants to play.
164
00:06:48,307 --> 00:06:49,547
He just doesn't
want to suck.
165
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:51,282
That's the problem.
He sucks.
166
00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:55,220
- He does suck.
167
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,455
Gosh, he sucks...
168
00:06:57,483 --> 00:06:59,121
so bad.
169
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:01,655
- It's okay.
You weren't that good.
170
00:07:01,687 --> 00:07:03,166
- I wasn't that good.
171
00:07:03,189 --> 00:07:04,862
- And it all worked out.
172
00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:07,235
- I think back that I was
better than I was.
173
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,103
- [CHUCKLES]
174
00:07:09,128 --> 00:07:10,106
Yeah...
175
00:07:10,129 --> 00:07:12,075
- I guess that's a normal thing
to think that.
176
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:13,975
- Yeah, but you weren't
that good.
177
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,604
You were
a pretty good fielder.
178
00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:21,112
[CLICKS TONGUE]
That's okay.
179
00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:23,051
You know what?
Don't worry about it.
180
00:07:23,075 --> 00:07:24,554
Just go hang outwith him.
181
00:07:24,577 --> 00:07:25,783
That's really what kids want.
182
00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:27,257
They want to feel close
to their dad.
183
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,260
Just, you know,
184
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,920
play catch,
185
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:33,396
go do something else.
186
00:07:33,419 --> 00:07:34,830
Just hang outwith him.
187
00:07:34,854 --> 00:07:36,265
- Just hang out.
I can play catch.
188
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,700
I can do a million
other things.
189
00:07:37,723 --> 00:07:38,997
- A million things.
- It doesn't matter.
190
00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:40,095
- Yeah.
- Just hang outwith him.
191
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:42,367
He loves me. I love him.
That's all.
192
00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:44,841
I just don't want to be one
of those dads that, you know,
193
00:07:44,864 --> 00:07:48,402
forces their kids to play stuff
and, you know...
194
00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:50,576
Let him do whatever
he wants.
195
00:07:55,608 --> 00:07:57,178
It's tough being a dad.
196
00:07:58,511 --> 00:07:59,819
- Yeah.
197
00:08:04,450 --> 00:08:06,259
- I want to applaud you
for your-
198
00:08:06,285 --> 00:08:08,265
your campaign,
your fundraising effort.
199
00:08:08,287 --> 00:08:09,288
Bravo.
200
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:10,130
If it wasn't for people
like you,
201
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,829
we'd have no money at all,
and this-
202
00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:13,303
this great league
couldn't continue.
203
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,396
Thanks.
204
00:08:15,895 --> 00:08:17,135
- Coach Ambrose?
205
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:18,972
- Um, I don't have my wallet
on me.
206
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:21,239
But I would love to talk
about that nutrition guide
207
00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:22,473
with you
after the game maybe.
208
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:23,776
- Do you work out adults?
209
00:08:23,803 --> 00:08:25,180
'Cause I'd like to get a card
if you have one.
210
00:08:25,204 --> 00:08:26,182
- Oh yeah, we'll talk.
211
00:08:26,205 --> 00:08:27,183
- Okay.
- We'll talk after.
212
00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:28,651
- Um...Angela.
- Hi.
213
00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:31,245
- Could you tell
our great commissioner
214
00:08:31,277 --> 00:08:34,724
of this wonderful league
that he came up with
215
00:08:34,747 --> 00:08:38,092
the rules of
100% parent participation.
216
00:08:38,117 --> 00:08:41,564
And I look, shockingly,
he has not participated.
217
00:08:41,587 --> 00:08:43,498
- You know, he didn't give me
a budget for that.
218
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,764
I'm-I'm just the kid's
nanny, but...
219
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,237
Sorry.
220
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:48,603
- Okay, uh,
221
00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:50,699
Our most progressive couple-
222
00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:51,868
Caitlin, Sophie.
223
00:08:51,898 --> 00:08:54,378
Manuel's mama and...
224
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,378
mommy.
225
00:08:55,401 --> 00:08:57,210
- His name is Manny.
- It's Manny.
226
00:08:57,236 --> 00:08:58,214
- Manny, yes.
227
00:08:58,237 --> 00:08:59,910
I was wondering if he has
228
00:08:59,939 --> 00:09:02,579
any specific nutritional
guidelines?
229
00:09:02,608 --> 00:09:05,487
We could have some rice,
some beans, some chips
230
00:09:05,511 --> 00:09:07,286
over at the snack bar,
if need be.
231
00:09:07,313 --> 00:09:09,759
- Well, considering
when we adopted him,
232
00:09:09,782 --> 00:09:13,025
he was eating dirt
off the floor of a hut,
233
00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:15,828
I think he's-he's, uh,
he's doing just fine.
234
00:09:15,855 --> 00:09:18,301
And, uh, just a suggestion
for you.
235
00:09:18,324 --> 00:09:22,773
If you spent less time
taking pictures of food
236
00:09:22,795 --> 00:09:24,399
and putting them
into binders,
237
00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:26,706
and more time
doing useful things,
238
00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:28,712
like perhaps you could talk
to the city
239
00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,736
about having less
handicap spaces...
240
00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:32,010
- Mmm.
- For parking.
241
00:09:32,038 --> 00:09:35,781
So that real normal people
could park in the parking lot.
242
00:09:35,808 --> 00:09:38,049
- I...I second
the lady's motion there
243
00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:39,522
about the handicapped
parking spots.
244
00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:42,219
They should either eliminate
the ones that aren't being used
245
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:44,558
or put on some kind of drive
to get more handicapped people
246
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,461
to come out
to the ball games.
247
00:09:46,485 --> 00:09:47,691
That could be a lot of fun.
248
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:49,495
We could get them
out on the field with games
249
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:51,433
and just kind of stir up
the enthusiasm.
250
00:09:52,458 --> 00:09:53,698
- I think we're good.
251
00:09:56,228 --> 00:09:57,206
- All right.
252
00:09:57,229 --> 00:09:58,833
- You are bat shit crazy.
253
00:09:58,864 --> 00:09:59,842
- You know,
you're a big man...
254
00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:01,276
- Hello, ladies. How are ya?
- Hello.
255
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:02,745
- Hey.
- Marty, whaddaya say?
256
00:10:02,768 --> 00:10:04,509
- Hey, hey, hey
- Max!
257
00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:05,709
Max, how are ya?
258
00:10:05,738 --> 00:10:07,684
- Hiya, Harold.
How you doing pal?
259
00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:09,380
- I'm well, thank you.
How are ya?
260
00:10:09,408 --> 00:10:11,319
- I'm-I'm good.
Good, good to see ya.
261
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:12,322
- World of comedy good?
262
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:13,483
- World of comedy's great.
263
00:10:13,512 --> 00:10:15,753
- Are you still doing
that bit about, uh-
264
00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:17,089
with the chicken,
265
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:19,562
and the broiled
and the baked chicken?
266
00:10:19,585 --> 00:10:20,563
Is that you?
267
00:10:20,586 --> 00:10:21,587
- No.
268
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:22,599
- That's not you?
269
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:23,896
- No, no.
But thank you.
270
00:10:23,923 --> 00:10:25,231
- [STAMMERING]
- I love comedy.
271
00:10:25,257 --> 00:10:26,827
- I happen to love comedy.
I love watching you.
272
00:10:26,859 --> 00:10:28,202
- Yeah.
Oh, hi, honey.
273
00:10:28,227 --> 00:10:29,865
- Hi!
- How are ya, Ava?
274
00:10:29,895 --> 00:10:31,431
- Hi, I'm good.
- Nice to see ya.
275
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,944
- [STAMMERING] Would you
just mind to let Ava sit here?
276
00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:35,172
- I'm sorry.
Come on, please.
277
00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:36,202
- Oh, thanks.
278
00:10:37,770 --> 00:10:38,840
Oh, hey.
- Um--
279
00:10:38,871 --> 00:10:40,441
- Sorry I didn't bring you
a water.
280
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:41,508
- Hey Harold?
- I'm fine.
281
00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:43,178
You know what,
I need to talk to Ava
282
00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:45,018
just for a minute or two.
283
00:10:45,044 --> 00:10:47,684
I'll-I'll, uh...
- Okay.
284
00:10:47,713 --> 00:10:49,818
- I'll-I'll-but I'll come sit
down with you in a little while,
285
00:10:49,849 --> 00:10:50,827
later in the game.
286
00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:52,090
- Doesn't mat...
- It does matter!
287
00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:53,256
- Enjoy, enjoy.
It's nothing. It's nothing.
288
00:10:53,285 --> 00:10:55,265
It's good.
We'll talk comedy later.
289
00:10:55,287 --> 00:10:57,392
- Oh, jeez.
He means well.
290
00:10:57,423 --> 00:10:58,697
- I know.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
291
00:10:58,724 --> 00:11:01,261
- Ah, pitcher,
I know where your family lives!
292
00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:03,330
Stop brushing my boy back!
293
00:11:03,362 --> 00:11:05,308
And how about some more balls?
294
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,605
- Time!
295
00:11:06,632 --> 00:11:07,770
That's a warning.
296
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,780
- Warning? I'm a grown-up.
I'm not in school.
297
00:11:09,802 --> 00:11:12,043
I don't care, ass-dick.
298
00:11:12,071 --> 00:11:13,049
- You're gone!
299
00:11:13,072 --> 00:11:15,177
- I'm gone!
Hey, everyone, I'm gone!
300
00:11:15,207 --> 00:11:16,811
- Come on, man! Come on!
301
00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:18,549
- Barnaby,
daddy will be in the car!
302
00:11:18,577 --> 00:11:19,885
- What are you doing
to me right now?
303
00:11:19,912 --> 00:11:21,357
- What am I doing?
It's his fault!
304
00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:22,358
- You're killing me right now!
Hey!
305
00:11:22,381 --> 00:11:23,359
- Whoa, whoa.
- That's your dad?
306
00:11:23,382 --> 00:11:24,360
- That's your dad right there?
307
00:11:24,383 --> 00:11:25,418
- Lets not make this
any messier than it already is.
308
00:11:25,451 --> 00:11:26,429
- Who are you?
309
00:11:26,452 --> 00:11:27,658
- Your dad's a jerk!
Your dad's a jerk!
310
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:28,961
- I'm nobody you need
to mess with right now.
311
00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:29,966
- Your dad's not a jerk.
312
00:11:29,989 --> 00:11:31,332
- I'm nobody you need to mess
with right now, okay?
313
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:33,496
- Your dad is a jerk.
- Do you even have a kid here?
314
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,504
- Your dad's not a jerk.
Back to the dugout.
315
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,370
- Hey, touch me,
I sue you, okay?
316
00:11:36,395 --> 00:11:37,999
Hey, let's not make this
messy in front of the kids.
317
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:39,407
- Who is this guy?
- Okay, let's go.
318
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:40,843
- Who are you?
Go away!
319
00:11:40,866 --> 00:11:42,903
- That's my son!
- Let's go, let's go.
320
00:11:42,935 --> 00:11:44,915
- I'll be in the car, Barnaby!
321
00:11:44,937 --> 00:11:46,917
Don't touch me!
Don't touch me!
322
00:11:46,939 --> 00:11:48,509
- Back to the dugout.
323
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:49,781
- [SIGHS]
- I won't.
324
00:11:49,809 --> 00:11:51,379
- Bye-bye.
- Don't touch me.
325
00:11:51,410 --> 00:11:52,582
You're outta here.
326
00:11:52,611 --> 00:11:54,887
- Whoa. Why would
someone behave that way?
327
00:11:54,914 --> 00:11:57,258
[STAMMERING]
This is an adult. An adult.
328
00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:58,660
- So sad.
- Seriously.
329
00:11:58,684 --> 00:12:00,686
- Sad.
- It's sad. It is sad.
330
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,826
And it's confusing.
What is his private life like?
331
00:12:03,856 --> 00:12:05,233
What are their
private lives like
332
00:12:05,257 --> 00:12:06,827
that make them
act like this?
333
00:12:06,859 --> 00:12:08,600
What are they missing
in their lives
334
00:12:08,627 --> 00:12:10,504
that make them act
like idiots?
335
00:12:10,529 --> 00:12:11,974
Unbelievable.
336
00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:13,977
- Seriously unbelievable.
337
00:12:13,999 --> 00:12:15,979
In front of the kids.
338
00:12:16,001 --> 00:12:17,844
[PEOPLE WHISPERING]
339
00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:19,349
- All right,
let's hear some chatter!
340
00:12:19,371 --> 00:12:20,679
Come on!
341
00:12:20,706 --> 00:12:22,879
- Let's get it up!
- Let's get it up!
342
00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:24,512
- Don't say, "Let's get it up."
343
00:12:24,543 --> 00:12:26,489
- Let's get it up.
344
00:12:26,512 --> 00:12:29,516
[INDISTINCT CHATTER AND CLAPPING]
345
00:12:36,155 --> 00:12:38,157
- They're-they're a bit touchy.
They're kind of nuts.
346
00:12:38,190 --> 00:12:39,692
- Wow, they're crazy.
347
00:12:39,725 --> 00:12:42,399
I mean, everything offends them.
So...everything!
348
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:44,567
I mean, what is wrong
with these people?
349
00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:50,544
- What is wrong
with these people?
350
00:12:50,569 --> 00:12:53,675
[YELLING] What is wrong
with these people?
351
00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:55,185
These people, right there!
352
00:12:55,207 --> 00:12:56,208
Take this.
353
00:12:56,942 --> 00:12:57,920
Take this.
354
00:12:57,943 --> 00:12:59,081
- Where are you going?
- I'll be right back.
355
00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:01,216
I gotta go talk to a man
about a horse.
356
00:13:01,247 --> 00:13:02,988
I'll be back.
- Are we waiting for you?
357
00:13:03,015 --> 00:13:04,016
- Wait for me!
358
00:13:06,919 --> 00:13:07,897
Commissioner Gordon.
359
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:09,331
- Whoa! Max.
360
00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:11,392
No talking to the commissioner
before scores are official.
361
00:13:11,423 --> 00:13:13,562
Okay, I'm gonna need you
to step over here.
362
00:13:13,592 --> 00:13:14,866
Right there.
363
00:13:14,894 --> 00:13:15,895
- All right.
364
00:13:20,766 --> 00:13:22,302
You don't have to keep
your eye on me.
365
00:13:22,334 --> 00:13:23,540
I'm not going to...
366
00:13:24,436 --> 00:13:25,574
- I know, I don't.
367
00:13:25,604 --> 00:13:27,277
- Forest, you can trust me.
- I trust you.
368
00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:29,650
- You can go to the other side
and I'll wait here.
369
00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:32,850
- It's okay, Max.
370
00:13:32,878 --> 00:13:35,449
- [LAUGHING]
Forest, I'm telling you...
371
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:37,620
- Okay.
You can keep telling me.
372
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,425
- All right.
- I don't work for you.
373
00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:43,499
- Is that a quadruple rainbow?
[CHUCKLES]
374
00:13:43,522 --> 00:13:45,160
A quadruple rainbow?
375
00:13:45,191 --> 00:13:46,932
I've never seen one of those!
376
00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:49,098
What would cause
a quadruple?
377
00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:52,371
The way-
wait, that's impossible!
378
00:13:52,398 --> 00:13:53,775
Pots of gold?
379
00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:58,045
Really, pots of gold?
380
00:13:58,070 --> 00:13:59,743
Pots of gold.
381
00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:00,750
- You're a comedian.
382
00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:02,684
- I am a comedian.
383
00:14:02,708 --> 00:14:04,619
- Really?
- Yeah.
384
00:14:04,643 --> 00:14:06,452
- So you're not
that popular then.
385
00:14:06,478 --> 00:14:07,513
- I'm popular.
386
00:14:07,546 --> 00:14:08,524
- I'm really into comedians,
387
00:14:08,547 --> 00:14:09,992
and I think I would know
if you were a comedian
388
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:10,993
if you were a popular one.
389
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:12,620
- No, I'm a popular comedian.
390
00:14:12,651 --> 00:14:14,688
- Not in the top 100.
391
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,563
- Tell you what,
not only am I in the top 100,
392
00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:18,330
I'm probably top 20.
393
00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:19,335
- Top 20?
394
00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:20,962
- Top 20.
395
00:14:20,993 --> 00:14:22,495
Yeah.
- Okay.
396
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:23,506
- All right.
397
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,440
- How many Twitter followers
do you have?
398
00:14:25,464 --> 00:14:26,442
- About 100,000.
399
00:14:26,465 --> 00:14:28,172
- No, that's not top 20.
400
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,178
- Score's official.
401
00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:30,646
- Score's official!
402
00:14:30,669 --> 00:14:31,647
Score's official.
403
00:14:31,670 --> 00:14:32,648
- Thank you, Forrest.
404
00:14:32,671 --> 00:14:34,116
- Thank you.
405
00:14:34,139 --> 00:14:35,140
- Max.
406
00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:37,549
- Hello, Commissioner Gordon.
407
00:14:37,576 --> 00:14:38,987
- You can call me Steve.
408
00:14:39,011 --> 00:14:40,820
- I would never think
of calling you Steve,
409
00:14:40,846 --> 00:14:43,326
Commissioner...Gordon.
410
00:14:43,349 --> 00:14:44,987
Commissioner Gordon...
411
00:14:45,017 --> 00:14:46,223
- [LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY]
412
00:14:46,252 --> 00:14:47,890
- If you see the Riddler
413
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,491
or the Catwoman,
414
00:14:50,522 --> 00:14:52,934
you and Chief O'Hara should...
415
00:14:52,958 --> 00:14:55,438
- It's really funny, actually.
416
00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:56,565
- [MUMBLING] I don't know...
417
00:14:56,595 --> 00:14:58,040
- It's just something
I love doing.
418
00:14:58,063 --> 00:15:02,375
Anyhow, I've decided that
my next movie-hopefully-
419
00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:03,880
there's a lot of steps
involved in this.
420
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,405
I'm gonna be doing
some research.
421
00:15:05,437 --> 00:15:08,384
And the research I'm doing is,
I'm gonna be talking to
422
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:12,082
parents and coaches,
and, uh,
423
00:15:12,111 --> 00:15:14,819
everybody involved
with my kid's baseball team.
424
00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:17,350
- Like a documentary
on the-the, uh,
425
00:15:17,383 --> 00:15:20,887
the benefits of SFV-LA baseball
for-for young children and-
426
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:21,898
- No.
427
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:22,899
- Documentaries
are big right now.
428
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:25,129
- No, it's-it's a comedy.
429
00:15:25,157 --> 00:15:26,659
- A comedy.
- If I make-
430
00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:28,672
- Like a "how to" video
for parents
431
00:15:28,694 --> 00:15:31,868
if they want to get their kids
into SFV-LA baseball?
432
00:15:31,897 --> 00:15:34,844
And the benefits of learning how
to be a team member
433
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:38,007
and the fundamentals of-
of building blocks for, uh,
434
00:15:38,037 --> 00:15:41,712
becoming a responsible citizen
and a good adult.
435
00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:44,277
- Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
436
00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:45,789
- Yeah, that would be good.
437
00:15:45,811 --> 00:15:47,791
- You know...
438
00:15:47,813 --> 00:15:49,793
a little change
of the subject here.
439
00:15:49,815 --> 00:15:52,625
Your nanny is just
so ridiculously beautiful.
440
00:15:52,651 --> 00:15:54,688
I don't even know how you-wow!
441
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:58,725
- Well, Angela's the charge
of my-my son, Bennett.
442
00:15:58,757 --> 00:16:00,361
There's nothing sexual
about her.
443
00:16:00,392 --> 00:16:03,430
- Oh, there's something
very sexual about her.
444
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:04,463
Yeah...
445
00:16:05,497 --> 00:16:07,204
Sorry I brought that up.
Okay.
446
00:16:07,232 --> 00:16:08,734
All right,
see you guys later.
447
00:16:08,767 --> 00:16:10,405
- Okay, just stay off
the field, though, please-
448
00:16:10,436 --> 00:16:12,177
- I'm not going back on,
I know 'cause you water it-
449
00:16:12,204 --> 00:16:14,275
- We water it,
and then we do the chalk.
450
00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:16,843
- Stay off the diamond, Max.
- I'm not going on the diamond.
451
00:16:18,210 --> 00:16:20,156
- I don't think
that's such a great idea.
452
00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:23,922
- It'll be fun to spend time
with the crazy parents.
453
00:16:23,949 --> 00:16:25,485
- I don't know about that, Dad.
454
00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:27,929
- I-that's exactly
what I was just gonna say.
455
00:16:27,953 --> 00:16:31,799
I-listen, I would not opt to be
with these people
456
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,701
on purpose, you know.
457
00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:36,832
- Well, you know, it's part-
it's the hard part of my job.
458
00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:38,034
It's the research.
459
00:16:38,063 --> 00:16:41,533
It's the down-and-dirtiness
of comedy,
460
00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:44,047
is figuring out
what you're gonna write about.
461
00:16:44,069 --> 00:16:46,606
- Sometimes grown-ups
get really weird.
462
00:16:46,638 --> 00:16:49,380
- Grownups always get weird.
Always.
463
00:16:49,408 --> 00:16:51,649
Not sometimes.
They're just weird.
464
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:54,385
Just think, "People are weird."
They're weird.
465
00:16:54,413 --> 00:16:57,053
What if I told you
another little secret?
466
00:16:57,082 --> 00:16:58,618
She's a bit weird.
467
00:16:58,650 --> 00:17:00,129
I'm a bit weird!
468
00:17:00,152 --> 00:17:02,223
You got weird parents.
You're not weird yet.
469
00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:03,733
You're too young
to be weird.
470
00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:06,100
- I don't want you to think
that all grown-ups are insane.
471
00:17:06,125 --> 00:17:09,197
- Well, actually,
they are all insane.
472
00:17:09,228 --> 00:17:10,468
- Except for us.
473
00:17:10,496 --> 00:17:12,498
- Don't trust anybody
over the age of-of...
474
00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:13,509
- 22.
475
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:14,510
- No, actually, 10.
476
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:15,534
- Yes.
- 10.
477
00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:17,774
Don't trust a 13-year-old.
They're too worldly.
478
00:17:17,803 --> 00:17:19,783
- 'Cause they all have
their own phones and...
479
00:17:19,805 --> 00:17:20,783
- They do now.
480
00:17:20,806 --> 00:17:21,784
- That's when it all
breaks loose.
481
00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:22,785
- By the way, we're not
doing that with him.
482
00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:23,912
- No, we're not doing that
with you.
483
00:17:23,942 --> 00:17:24,920
You know that, right?
484
00:17:24,943 --> 00:17:27,287
- Yeah, you have friends now
who have phones, don't you?
485
00:17:27,312 --> 00:17:28,290
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I know.
486
00:17:28,313 --> 00:17:29,690
That's a bunch of crap.
It's not gonna happen.
487
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:31,991
- Max, I'm not sure about
spending more time
488
00:17:32,017 --> 00:17:34,122
than is necessary
with that crowd.
489
00:17:34,153 --> 00:17:36,429
- You know, I don't have to
spend that much time with them.
490
00:17:36,455 --> 00:17:38,059
Just a few hours.
491
00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:40,764
What?
492
00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:42,837
- Nightmare.
493
00:17:48,434 --> 00:17:49,412
- I'd be happy to help.
494
00:17:49,435 --> 00:17:51,381
I have a lot of ideas
for movies.
495
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,883
- Okay, it's not-
I just want to talk and get to-
496
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:54,884
I want to get to know
the parents-
497
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:55,942
- Here's my thing.
Here's my thing.
498
00:17:55,974 --> 00:17:56,975
- Yeah?
499
00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:59,819
- As long as it's educational
and instructive for the kids.
500
00:17:59,845 --> 00:18:01,415
- And the kids learn-
'cause kids are sponges.
501
00:18:01,447 --> 00:18:02,687
We were just talking
about that.
502
00:18:02,714 --> 00:18:04,489
How much like sponges they are.
They absorb everything.
503
00:18:04,516 --> 00:18:07,588
- And I will help write it,
act it, shoot it,
504
00:18:07,619 --> 00:18:08,597
whatever you want.
505
00:18:08,620 --> 00:18:09,963
I don't know how to do
any of that stuff...
506
00:18:09,988 --> 00:18:10,966
- They just keep absorbing.
507
00:18:10,989 --> 00:18:12,696
- But I'll tell you what,
I work at a copy shop,
508
00:18:12,724 --> 00:18:14,533
in case you didn't know,
and I think you did.
509
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:15,538
- Uh-huh.
510
00:18:15,561 --> 00:18:17,666
- And we can make copies
of the script there.
511
00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:19,437
And then you can hand them out
next week,
512
00:18:19,465 --> 00:18:20,842
and we'll learn our lines
and do it.
513
00:18:20,866 --> 00:18:21,936
- What's the title?
514
00:18:21,967 --> 00:18:23,446
- What's the script?
515
00:18:23,469 --> 00:18:25,210
- Well, no, no,
I don't know yet.
516
00:18:25,237 --> 00:18:26,238
- Is it from a book?
517
00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:29,252
- No, it's gonna be
from the research that I do
518
00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:30,617
when I spend time with...
519
00:18:30,642 --> 00:18:31,882
- What's the rating?
520
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:36,517
- Oh, dear God.
Oh, that's wrong.
521
00:18:36,548 --> 00:18:38,050
- What's up, guys?
- What's up, man?
522
00:18:38,083 --> 00:18:39,221
- I'm doing good.
What y'all talking about?
523
00:18:39,251 --> 00:18:41,231
- He wants to, uh,
do some research...
524
00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:42,231
- Research on us.
525
00:18:42,254 --> 00:18:44,860
- On my method of
coaching.
526
00:18:44,890 --> 00:18:46,267
He's watching-
he's paid attention.
527
00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:47,702
I think
he sees what I'm doing...
528
00:18:47,726 --> 00:18:48,704
- It's a great idea.
529
00:18:48,727 --> 00:18:49,705
All right, guys,
talk to you later.
530
00:18:49,728 --> 00:18:51,002
- Right on, man.
531
00:18:51,029 --> 00:18:54,010
- Why is it whenever
he works with Ricky,
532
00:18:54,032 --> 00:18:55,170
he's gotta take off
his shirt?
533
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:57,339
- He's hot.
- He's hot?
534
00:18:57,369 --> 00:18:58,712
- The man gets hot,
he wants to take his shirt off.
535
00:18:58,737 --> 00:19:00,239
- Did you ever hear
of shirts and skins?
536
00:19:00,272 --> 00:19:02,809
- Yeah, I've heard of shirts
and skins, playing football.
537
00:19:02,841 --> 00:19:03,945
- He does it in life.
538
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:04,954
- That's what it is.
539
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,513
Those who can do skins
do skins.
540
00:19:06,545 --> 00:19:07,523
Those who can't do skins...
541
00:19:07,546 --> 00:19:08,786
- What side are you on?
- They don't do skins.
542
00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:10,725
- I'm clearly
on the shirts side.
543
00:19:10,749 --> 00:19:11,727
- See?
544
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:12,990
- Except when I shower.
545
00:19:13,018 --> 00:19:15,123
- Work on the slide!
- Keep movin'.
546
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,361
- Because Jimbo says so,
that's why!
547
00:19:17,389 --> 00:19:18,663
Don't answer me back!
548
00:19:18,690 --> 00:19:20,260
- Run through the base!
549
00:19:20,292 --> 00:19:22,203
- Through the bases!
550
00:19:22,227 --> 00:19:24,605
- All right,
so what I'm gonna be doing
551
00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:26,041
is that I got the blessing from-
552
00:19:26,064 --> 00:19:27,407
- [SPITS] Like that?
553
00:19:27,432 --> 00:19:29,639
- I got the blessing
from Commissioner Gordon.
554
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:32,615
It's research
for a comedy movie
555
00:19:32,638 --> 00:19:34,743
that I might or might not
even write.
556
00:19:34,773 --> 00:19:36,775
So it might not
even happen.
557
00:19:36,808 --> 00:19:38,685
I'm just sort of getting
to know everybody
558
00:19:38,710 --> 00:19:40,087
and seeing if there's
a movie there
559
00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:41,887
about the parents
and the coaches and such.
560
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:44,656
- So you show up, do research,
interview everybody,
561
00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:46,094
for something
that might not happen?
562
00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:48,394
- Yes, that's the first thing
you nailed exactly.
563
00:19:48,420 --> 00:19:49,398
- Waste of time to me.
564
00:19:49,421 --> 00:19:51,628
- If we don't win
the championship,
565
00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:53,261
I'm gonna pull the plug,
so...
566
00:19:53,292 --> 00:19:54,270
- I'm not shooting a movie!
567
00:19:54,293 --> 00:19:56,273
- It's gotta end
with us winning...
568
00:19:56,295 --> 00:19:58,241
- Right.
- Or I'm not, uh-
569
00:19:58,263 --> 00:19:59,241
- A waste of time.
570
00:19:59,264 --> 00:20:01,175
- Approve-I'm not gonna
sign off on it.
571
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,180
- Either of you want to be
interviewed?
572
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,772
- I do!
- You do?
573
00:20:04,803 --> 00:20:06,783
I'm doing you first.
- I'd like to be interviewed.
574
00:20:06,805 --> 00:20:08,216
You're number one.
575
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:10,117
Number one on my interview list.
576
00:20:10,142 --> 00:20:11,348
First.
577
00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:13,117
All right,
see you guys later.
578
00:20:16,415 --> 00:20:18,361
Hey, could I have
everybody's attention,
579
00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:19,555
just for one second?
580
00:20:19,585 --> 00:20:20,962
It's not a big deal.
581
00:20:20,986 --> 00:20:23,967
Um, as some of you--
582
00:20:23,989 --> 00:20:25,263
Hey!
583
00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:27,327
Some of you know, uh...
584
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,464
lam a comedian.
585
00:20:29,494 --> 00:20:32,407
And I have decided
that there might be
586
00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:36,504
some material here
ripe for a comedy.
587
00:20:36,535 --> 00:20:38,947
I'm going to-it's-
there's a lot of steps to it,
588
00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:40,348
but I'm gonna do some research,
589
00:20:40,372 --> 00:20:43,376
spend some time with you,
590
00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:45,217
and get to know you
a little bit
591
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:48,225
for possibly
my next movie project.
592
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,591
- Excuse me, Orson Welles?
593
00:20:50,616 --> 00:20:54,428
I have to go on record in front
of all the other parents
594
00:20:54,453 --> 00:20:56,763
as saying I refuse
to take part in this.
595
00:20:58,056 --> 00:20:59,034
- That's okay.
596
00:20:59,057 --> 00:21:00,058
- Good.
597
00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:03,872
- I'm not saying I don't
want to do it, I'm just-
598
00:21:03,895 --> 00:21:06,569
I just want to be clear
because this hap--
599
00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:07,804
I fell for this one ti-
600
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:09,813
This isn't one of those,
you get in a room,
601
00:21:09,835 --> 00:21:12,076
"You're so pretty, you're so
pretty, take your top off,
602
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:13,947
I'm gonna film you"
kind of things, is it?
603
00:21:15,907 --> 00:21:18,217
- That is so far
from my intentions.
604
00:21:18,243 --> 00:21:19,551
- Okay, no, I'm just asking.
605
00:21:19,578 --> 00:21:21,182
- What are some of the questions
you'll be asking us?
606
00:21:21,213 --> 00:21:22,487
You talking to me?
- I don't know.
607
00:21:22,514 --> 00:21:23,857
You talking about me?
- I'm talking to you.
608
00:21:23,882 --> 00:21:25,623
About your job,
about your life...
609
00:21:25,651 --> 00:21:29,827
- Why would that possibly,
possibly be of interest?
610
00:21:29,855 --> 00:21:32,062
- Well, we'll see after I talk-
611
00:21:32,090 --> 00:21:34,696
when I'm all done,
it could not be interesting.
612
00:21:34,726 --> 00:21:37,366
There's a great chance of it
not being interesting at all,
613
00:21:37,396 --> 00:21:38,773
and I won't make a movie.
614
00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:41,209
- Well, I'm very excited.
I'd like to go first.
615
00:21:41,233 --> 00:21:42,473
- Unfortunately,
616
00:21:42,501 --> 00:21:44,742
I have offered that up
to Coach Jimbo.
617
00:21:44,770 --> 00:21:46,215
- Why?
618
00:21:46,238 --> 00:21:47,615
- Because he's first.
I talked to him first.
619
00:21:47,639 --> 00:21:49,949
- But I'm asking-
I'm the first to ask.
620
00:21:49,975 --> 00:21:51,716
- I believe I asked-
- I'll have undue pressure.
621
00:21:51,743 --> 00:21:53,017
I don't know-l don't know
what I'm gonna be talking-
622
00:21:53,045 --> 00:21:54,023
- Pressure from what?
623
00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:55,024
- Because you're gonna be
interviewing.
624
00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:56,025
There'll be a camera
in my face.
625
00:21:56,048 --> 00:21:57,118
- I'm not filming you.
626
00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:59,356
I am just hanging outwith you.
There's no pressure.
627
00:21:59,384 --> 00:22:01,796
- Max, can I recommend
an actress to play me?
628
00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:03,731
Halle Berry.
629
00:22:03,755 --> 00:22:05,325
- Halle Berry.
630
00:22:05,357 --> 00:22:07,530
And for Manny,
I don't care who-who-
631
00:22:07,559 --> 00:22:11,166
just as long as it's not
one of the-the fuckin' Will-
632
00:22:11,196 --> 00:22:13,107
one of Will Smith's kids.
- All right.
633
00:22:13,131 --> 00:22:14,269
- Are we invited
to the premiere?
634
00:22:14,299 --> 00:22:15,437
- This is very exciting.
635
00:22:15,467 --> 00:22:16,445
- Yeah, all right.
636
00:22:16,468 --> 00:22:19,540
I'm, uh-I'm just--
637
00:22:19,571 --> 00:22:22,142
Just watch them practice.
I'm good. That's all I need.
638
00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:24,085
- Work on the slide, baby!
Slide!
639
00:22:24,109 --> 00:22:25,645
- Thank you, Coach Ted.
- What are you gonna talk about?
640
00:22:25,677 --> 00:22:26,655
- Thank you, everybody.
641
00:22:26,678 --> 00:22:29,659
- Uh, I guess whatever
he asks me.
642
00:22:29,681 --> 00:22:30,819
- Get it up!
643
00:22:30,849 --> 00:22:32,522
- You didn't talk to anyone?
644
00:22:32,551 --> 00:22:34,121
- I have not talked to anyone.
645
00:22:34,152 --> 00:22:35,790
I am talking to you first.
646
00:22:35,821 --> 00:22:37,994
No one has been talked to.
647
00:22:38,023 --> 00:22:39,434
You are number one.
648
00:22:42,194 --> 00:22:44,003
- [EXHALES LOUDLY] Well...
649
00:22:44,029 --> 00:22:45,474
This is it.
650
00:22:45,497 --> 00:22:46,999
All About Printing.
651
00:22:48,467 --> 00:22:51,641
The owners had a real foresight,
you know,
652
00:22:51,670 --> 00:22:53,672
because they didn't
want to limit it.
653
00:22:53,705 --> 00:22:54,911
All About Printing.
654
00:22:54,940 --> 00:22:57,216
So it can be printing, copies.
655
00:22:57,242 --> 00:22:58,312
- Anything that's
about printing.
656
00:22:58,343 --> 00:22:59,321
- Anything!
657
00:22:59,344 --> 00:23:02,188
It's about-or even marginally
associated with printing...
658
00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:03,716
- Yeah.
- We can do.
659
00:23:03,749 --> 00:23:06,093
- Mm-hmm.
- Or we can potentially do.
660
00:23:06,118 --> 00:23:08,325
We don't have-
we don't necessarily do it now.
661
00:23:08,353 --> 00:23:09,331
- Mm-hmm.
662
00:23:09,354 --> 00:23:10,492
- But it's, uh, the hub.
663
00:23:10,522 --> 00:23:14,129
And this right here
is my command center.
664
00:23:14,159 --> 00:23:16,230
And this is where
I operate everything.
665
00:23:16,261 --> 00:23:17,239
- Mm-hmm.
666
00:23:17,262 --> 00:23:19,572
- In this whole-
everybody can hear me, see?
667
00:23:19,598 --> 00:23:21,202
It's not so big
that they can't hear me.
668
00:23:21,233 --> 00:23:22,211
- Mm-hmm.
669
00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:24,339
- So I can just shout from here
and everybody hears me.
670
00:23:24,369 --> 00:23:25,347
[BELL CHIMES]
671
00:23:25,370 --> 00:23:27,646
Everyone can hear that bell.
No, no. No, no.
672
00:23:27,672 --> 00:23:29,515
- Oh.
- I'm standing here.
673
00:23:29,541 --> 00:23:32,249
If you see the bell go off-
or hear the bell go off-
674
00:23:32,277 --> 00:23:33,950
and I'm standing here,
you don't need to come up.
675
00:23:33,979 --> 00:23:35,151
I'll handle the customer.
676
00:23:35,180 --> 00:23:36,659
- Oh, when my uncle hired me,
he told me-
677
00:23:36,681 --> 00:23:39,025
- Katie, put it away.
[LAUGHS]
678
00:23:39,050 --> 00:23:40,552
And I'll tell you what.
679
00:23:40,585 --> 00:23:42,826
The reason
that I coach the kids
680
00:23:42,854 --> 00:23:45,357
is because I'm in charge here,
okay?
681
00:23:45,390 --> 00:23:46,368
- Mm-hmm.
682
00:23:46,391 --> 00:23:47,631
- All About Printing.
683
00:23:47,659 --> 00:23:48,637
- Mm-hmm.
684
00:23:48,660 --> 00:23:52,107
- And, it's...a...madhouse.
685
00:23:52,130 --> 00:23:54,474
It is a madhouse.
- Mm-hmm.
686
00:23:54,499 --> 00:23:56,979
- You know,
and baseball is pastoral.
687
00:23:57,002 --> 00:23:59,073
And it's quiet, and it's calm,
you know?
688
00:23:59,104 --> 00:24:01,380
And the kids are out there
and they're dropping the ball,
689
00:24:01,406 --> 00:24:03,044
and they're not hitting it
and uh...
690
00:24:03,074 --> 00:24:04,678
- So it's not really
about the kids.
691
00:24:04,709 --> 00:24:06,586
It's more about you
and getting your release.
692
00:24:06,611 --> 00:24:08,249
- Yeah, it's about getting the-
it's about release.
693
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,588
And it all comes from here.
694
00:24:09,614 --> 00:24:12,925
All comes from working here
and the customers that come in-
695
00:24:12,951 --> 00:24:14,225
and do you know something here?
696
00:24:14,252 --> 00:24:16,289
Do you know the insurance bill
on this place?
697
00:24:16,321 --> 00:24:17,800
Let me tell you something, pal.
698
00:24:17,823 --> 00:24:19,734
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay?
699
00:24:19,758 --> 00:24:22,238
That machine right there...
700
00:24:22,260 --> 00:24:24,467
is German precision.
701
00:24:24,496 --> 00:24:25,474
And it can print about-
702
00:24:25,497 --> 00:24:27,135
Hey, hey hey!
You can't come back here!
703
00:24:27,165 --> 00:24:28,906
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry to yell.
704
00:24:28,934 --> 00:24:30,470
Stay behind that line,
would ya?
705
00:24:30,502 --> 00:24:32,277
- W-w-what, what line?
- Imaginary line right here.
706
00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:33,282
From that counter
to that counter.
707
00:24:33,305 --> 00:24:35,148
- Across, all right.
- Stay behind it.
708
00:24:35,173 --> 00:24:36,151
- I'm right-I'm good.
709
00:24:36,174 --> 00:24:37,448
- Insurance.
- Mm-hmm.
710
00:24:37,476 --> 00:24:38,454
- Safety.
- Mm-hmm.
711
00:24:38,477 --> 00:24:41,321
- So I love get-hitting
the field after a week of this,
712
00:24:41,346 --> 00:24:44,884
you know, because the runaround
at this place and the pressure.
713
00:24:44,916 --> 00:24:48,159
The pres-listen to the traffic
out there.
714
00:24:48,186 --> 00:24:49,859
You can hear every car
and bus.
715
00:24:49,888 --> 00:24:51,299
Hello, sir!
- Hi.
716
00:24:51,323 --> 00:24:52,301
[RINGS BELL TWICE]
717
00:24:52,324 --> 00:24:54,304
- You don't have to do that
'cause I already did it.
718
00:24:54,326 --> 00:24:56,169
Stay back in the back!
719
00:24:56,194 --> 00:24:57,366
- Picking up my package.
720
00:24:57,395 --> 00:24:58,533
- Okay, what's your name, sir?
721
00:24:58,563 --> 00:24:59,633
- Sepplente.
722
00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:01,644
- We usually put the-
the orders.
723
00:25:01,666 --> 00:25:04,704
Oh, that's-
Is that it? Is that you?
724
00:25:04,736 --> 00:25:05,874
- Ah...no.
725
00:25:05,904 --> 00:25:07,349
- That's not him.
Take this back.
726
00:25:07,372 --> 00:25:09,352
Did you call earlier?
- Yes, I did.
727
00:25:09,374 --> 00:25:11,012
- Uh-huh.
Who did you speak to?
728
00:25:11,042 --> 00:25:12,487
- Jimbo.
729
00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:13,615
- Well, that's me!
730
00:25:13,645 --> 00:25:14,783
[BOTH LAUGH]
731
00:25:14,813 --> 00:25:16,087
Good to meet ya.
- Hey.
732
00:25:16,114 --> 00:25:17,855
- And I spoke to you?
- Yes.
733
00:25:17,883 --> 00:25:19,260
- Hey!
734
00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:22,655
- Great.
- Right there!
735
00:25:22,687 --> 00:25:24,428
- Mm-hmm.
- I even signed it.
736
00:25:24,456 --> 00:25:27,130
Oh, there's no coupon
allowed with this, sorry.
737
00:25:27,158 --> 00:25:28,228
- I don't have one
to give you.
738
00:25:28,260 --> 00:25:29,898
- Because you ordered that
two weeks ago...
739
00:25:29,928 --> 00:25:30,906
- All right, thanks.
740
00:25:30,929 --> 00:25:33,034
- And the coupon
starts today,
741
00:25:33,064 --> 00:25:34,475
but you can't use it
till tomorrow.
742
00:25:34,499 --> 00:25:35,477
- Oh.
743
00:25:35,500 --> 00:25:37,537
- Come in tomorrow and get
the same job for half price.
744
00:25:37,569 --> 00:25:38,547
- All right, thank you.
745
00:25:38,570 --> 00:25:39,640
- Thank you!
746
00:25:39,671 --> 00:25:41,673
[CHIME DINGS]
747
00:25:44,776 --> 00:25:47,689
Beef goulash.
It's my lunch.
748
00:25:47,712 --> 00:25:49,248
I'm gonna have it
as soon as you're-
749
00:25:49,281 --> 00:25:50,487
as soon as you're done.
750
00:25:50,515 --> 00:25:51,823
I'm pretty hungry right now.
751
00:25:51,850 --> 00:25:53,124
- Well, don't let me keep you.
752
00:25:53,151 --> 00:25:54,824
- Well, it's okay.
It's just sitting here.
753
00:25:54,853 --> 00:25:57,561
I don't leave it in back
because, uh,
754
00:25:57,589 --> 00:25:59,591
some of my food
has gone missing.
755
00:25:59,624 --> 00:26:01,763
A couple of cans of this,
756
00:26:01,793 --> 00:26:03,739
I've found open
and half gone.
757
00:26:03,762 --> 00:26:06,003
And I'm not blaming you, Katie,
and I'm not blaming Rick.
758
00:26:06,031 --> 00:26:07,339
I'm not saying they did it.
759
00:26:07,365 --> 00:26:09,038
That back door
doesn't lock, so-
760
00:26:09,734 --> 00:26:11,372
- Well, why don't you fix it?
761
00:26:11,403 --> 00:26:13,883
- [CLICKS TONGUE AND EXHALES]
762
00:26:13,905 --> 00:26:15,578
Seriously, you want to go there?
763
00:26:15,607 --> 00:26:18,213
- I'm just asking you
why you don't fix it.
764
00:26:18,243 --> 00:26:19,847
- There's a woman involved.
765
00:26:19,878 --> 00:26:21,824
First of all.
You want to hear it now?
766
00:26:21,846 --> 00:26:23,189
- Yeah,
that doesn't change things.
767
00:26:23,214 --> 00:26:25,490
I still want to hear it.
- You want to-
768
00:26:25,517 --> 00:26:28,361
My brother Andy is a locksmith
across the street.
769
00:26:28,386 --> 00:26:31,526
Nothing peeves him off
more than knowing
770
00:26:31,556 --> 00:26:33,536
that that back door
doesn't lock
771
00:26:33,558 --> 00:26:35,595
and I ain't letting him fix it.
772
00:26:35,627 --> 00:26:37,834
And I'm not letting anyone else
fix it either.
773
00:26:37,862 --> 00:26:39,102
You want to know why?
774
00:26:39,130 --> 00:26:40,268
In high school-
775
00:26:40,298 --> 00:26:42,107
Andy's three years younger
than me-
776
00:26:42,133 --> 00:26:45,012
I had a crush on a girl, okay?
777
00:26:45,036 --> 00:26:46,413
I'm not gonna say her name,
778
00:26:46,438 --> 00:26:48,611
but I circled her picture
in the yearbook every year,
779
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:50,142
and he knows it.
780
00:26:50,175 --> 00:26:52,485
He went away to the Navy
after high school.
781
00:26:52,510 --> 00:26:55,582
He was gone for two years,
and I took this girl out
782
00:26:55,614 --> 00:26:57,389
on three dates.
783
00:26:57,415 --> 00:27:00,555
And then he comes back
and within two months,
784
00:27:00,585 --> 00:27:02,189
they're getting married!
785
00:27:02,220 --> 00:27:05,167
And I gotta do
the invitations!
786
00:27:05,190 --> 00:27:06,999
And I give him a discount.
787
00:27:07,025 --> 00:27:08,402
[LAUGHS]
788
00:27:08,426 --> 00:27:11,407
I'm sitting back here
printing up invitations
789
00:27:11,429 --> 00:27:14,069
with her name on it
and his name!
790
00:27:14,099 --> 00:27:16,101
And a carnation!
791
00:27:18,136 --> 00:27:21,606
That's a flower I don't care
to look at or smell
792
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:23,244
ever again!
793
00:27:23,274 --> 00:27:25,652
So when that door broke,
when the lock broke,
794
00:27:25,677 --> 00:27:28,487
he came over,
"I'll fix that for ya."
795
00:27:28,513 --> 00:27:29,924
"No thanks, Andy."
796
00:27:29,948 --> 00:27:31,859
[SMACKS LIPS]
797
00:27:31,883 --> 00:27:33,692
"What? I'll fix it.
It'll take two-"
798
00:27:33,718 --> 00:27:35,322
"No thanks, Andy."
799
00:27:35,353 --> 00:27:36,832
It burns him.
800
00:27:36,855 --> 00:27:39,802
It burns in his heart...
801
00:27:41,259 --> 00:27:44,638
to know that I'm not
calling on him
802
00:27:44,663 --> 00:27:46,074
to fix that door.
803
00:27:47,298 --> 00:27:49,073
And I don't let anyone else
fix it too.
804
00:27:49,100 --> 00:27:50,670
I just leave it broken.
805
00:27:54,506 --> 00:27:56,816
- All right, I think I got
everything I need.
806
00:27:56,841 --> 00:27:59,822
[CHEERFUL JAZZY MUSIC]
807
00:27:59,844 --> 00:28:04,418
♪♪
808
00:28:04,449 --> 00:28:05,826
- Keep it moving!
809
00:28:05,850 --> 00:28:08,797
- Uh, Coach Ted,
just a moment.
810
00:28:08,820 --> 00:28:11,198
How come there's
so many practices lately?
811
00:28:11,222 --> 00:28:15,034
- This isn't about practice.
It's about bowels.
812
00:28:15,060 --> 00:28:17,006
You understand?
Bowels!
813
00:28:17,028 --> 00:28:18,598
- Bowels?
- Bowels and bladders.
814
00:28:18,630 --> 00:28:20,337
- W-What, what do you mean,
"bowels and bladders"?
815
00:28:20,365 --> 00:28:21,343
- That's what it's about.
816
00:28:21,366 --> 00:28:24,279
See, kids have a certain, uh,
chemistry in their bodies
817
00:28:24,302 --> 00:28:26,646
that allows them to hold
and build up toxins
818
00:28:26,671 --> 00:28:27,706
in their bodies.
819
00:28:27,739 --> 00:28:29,184
All I'm doing right now
is working the toxins
820
00:28:29,207 --> 00:28:30,242
off their body right now.
821
00:28:30,275 --> 00:28:31,447
- I'll take your word for it,
822
00:28:31,476 --> 00:28:33,820
but we need more one-on-one
instruction.
823
00:28:33,845 --> 00:28:36,655
- So you know more than me?
Ho-ho!
824
00:28:36,681 --> 00:28:38,319
You know more about baseball
825
00:28:38,349 --> 00:28:39,851
than I know about baseball,
huh?
826
00:28:39,884 --> 00:28:41,363
You don't want none of me,
all right?
827
00:28:41,386 --> 00:28:42,364
I gotta go.
828
00:28:42,387 --> 00:28:43,695
- You know, I-I...
- Work it, kids!
829
00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:44,700
- Well, there he goes.
830
00:28:44,723 --> 00:28:45,701
I don't know,
is he a good coach?
831
00:28:45,724 --> 00:28:47,101
Or was he being sarcastic
with me?
832
00:28:47,125 --> 00:28:48,103
I couldn't underst...
833
00:28:48,126 --> 00:28:49,332
- I think he's a sincere man.
834
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,397
I just think
that he's a little bit off.
835
00:28:51,429 --> 00:28:53,431
- Yeah.
So it's not me?
836
00:28:53,465 --> 00:28:55,376
- No, it's-it's not you at all.
837
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:57,402
- I wish he'd spend
more time here.
838
00:28:57,435 --> 00:28:59,142
I mean, he's got the kids here
and us here.
839
00:28:59,170 --> 00:29:01,582
- Yeah, yeah.
840
00:29:01,606 --> 00:29:02,607
Yeah.
841
00:29:03,908 --> 00:29:05,080
[WHISPERING]
Jeez.
842
00:29:05,110 --> 00:29:06,088
- What?
843
00:29:06,111 --> 00:29:09,058
- She's just a big bowl
of "Dear God."
844
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:10,354
Wow!
845
00:29:10,381 --> 00:29:12,019
- That's the commissioner's
nanny, huh?
846
00:29:12,050 --> 00:29:13,961
- Yup. Angela.
- You're obsessed, aren't you?
847
00:29:13,985 --> 00:29:15,191
- I wouldn't say
the word "obsessed."
848
00:29:15,220 --> 00:29:16,494
I'm not going home
and thinking,
849
00:29:16,521 --> 00:29:18,159
but I gotta tell ya,
when I'm here...
850
00:29:18,189 --> 00:29:19,566
- Uh-huh.
- I'm thinking.
851
00:29:19,591 --> 00:29:21,400
- Yeah.
- When she's in front of me.
852
00:29:21,426 --> 00:29:23,030
- You know what would
maybe be a good idea?
853
00:29:23,061 --> 00:29:25,564
Why don't we ask Angela
to get some of her friends out?
854
00:29:25,597 --> 00:29:28,578
Tell them we're gonna have
a little charity softball game.
855
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:29,578
- Mm-hmm.
856
00:29:29,601 --> 00:29:31,012
- Them against us
or against the kids.
857
00:29:31,035 --> 00:29:32,013
- Mm-hmm.
858
00:29:32,036 --> 00:29:34,346
- And tell them it's a charity
for the-for the kids
859
00:29:34,372 --> 00:29:36,079
or the veterans
or something.
860
00:29:36,107 --> 00:29:37,518
- [LAUGHING]
For the veterans?
861
00:29:37,542 --> 00:29:38,816
- Yeah, and tell them
it's a romp.
862
00:29:38,843 --> 00:29:39,821
They love that.
863
00:29:39,844 --> 00:29:42,017
But anyway, if they think
it's for the kids-
864
00:29:42,046 --> 00:29:43,184
- Look at her. Look at her.
Look at her.
865
00:29:43,214 --> 00:29:45,091
- Yeah, that's a nice-looking
young lady.
866
00:29:45,116 --> 00:29:47,722
But you gotta focus
on the baseball field.
867
00:29:47,752 --> 00:29:49,231
- Yeah, I-I'm supposed to.
868
00:29:49,254 --> 00:29:50,232
- Yeah.
869
00:29:50,255 --> 00:29:51,529
- Yeah, well...
870
00:29:51,556 --> 00:29:54,435
- But I like the idea of
a little-a little charity game.
871
00:29:54,459 --> 00:29:56,496
Think about it.
A charity romp.
872
00:29:56,528 --> 00:29:58,201
And balloons.
873
00:29:58,229 --> 00:30:00,573
And just a big sign
that says, "Thanks."
874
00:30:01,699 --> 00:30:03,201
So, you know,
they think they're-
875
00:30:03,234 --> 00:30:04,975
- You know what I'm gonna do?
Right now?
876
00:30:05,003 --> 00:30:06,448
I'm gonna go down
and talk to her.
877
00:30:06,471 --> 00:30:07,711
- Okay.
878
00:30:07,739 --> 00:30:09,275
Tell 'em it's for
an outreach program.
879
00:30:09,307 --> 00:30:10,752
- No, I'm not, I'm not...
[LAUGHING]
880
00:30:10,775 --> 00:30:11,981
I'm not setting up your thing.
881
00:30:12,010 --> 00:30:13,990
- I don't even know
what an outreach program is,
882
00:30:14,012 --> 00:30:15,184
but they'll-they'll love it.
883
00:30:15,213 --> 00:30:16,624
People love to-
They'll do anything.
884
00:30:16,648 --> 00:30:17,820
- No, I'm not setting up
the softball thing.
885
00:30:17,849 --> 00:30:19,123
I'm just gonna go down
and talk to her.
886
00:30:19,150 --> 00:30:20,128
I've-I've talked to her...
887
00:30:20,151 --> 00:30:21,129
- What are you gonna
talk to her about?
888
00:30:21,152 --> 00:30:22,460
- I've said hello to her
and we've talked very little,
889
00:30:22,487 --> 00:30:23,693
but I just want to just
get to know her a little better.
890
00:30:23,721 --> 00:30:24,859
- All right, good.
- Okay?
891
00:30:24,889 --> 00:30:26,562
- Hi, Angela.
- Hi.
892
00:30:29,060 --> 00:30:30,664
- Ah, what a beautiful day.
893
00:30:30,695 --> 00:30:32,072
- It's nice.
894
00:30:33,264 --> 00:30:36,404
- Practice is almost over.
It's all good.
895
00:30:36,434 --> 00:30:38,038
You like coming
to practice?
896
00:30:38,069 --> 00:30:39,343
- I do.
897
00:30:39,370 --> 00:30:40,348
- So do I.
898
00:30:40,371 --> 00:30:41,509
- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
899
00:30:41,539 --> 00:30:43,519
Yeah, I do.
900
00:30:43,541 --> 00:30:45,680
I do, I do, I do.
901
00:30:45,710 --> 00:30:48,953
Love coming to practice.
902
00:30:48,980 --> 00:30:50,357
- Hey.
- Hey!
903
00:30:50,381 --> 00:30:51,359
- Hi, Angela.
- Hi.
904
00:30:51,382 --> 00:30:52,360
- How are you?
- Good.
905
00:30:52,383 --> 00:30:53,361
- Come on, let's go.
906
00:30:53,384 --> 00:30:54,362
- Okay.
- All right.
907
00:30:54,385 --> 00:30:55,489
All right, so nice
talking to you.
908
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:56,624
- You too.
909
00:31:00,825 --> 00:31:02,327
- Oh, look.
910
00:31:04,429 --> 00:31:05,635
- Yeah?
911
00:31:05,663 --> 00:31:06,641
- Jack, hold up.
912
00:31:06,664 --> 00:31:07,768
- Come take a ride.
913
00:31:07,799 --> 00:31:08,777
- What?
914
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:10,211
- Take a ride
in my brand-new Camry.
915
00:31:10,235 --> 00:31:11,475
Is this a beaut?
916
00:31:11,502 --> 00:31:13,914
I just got it.
Let's do the interview now.
917
00:31:13,938 --> 00:31:15,417
- I don't know.
- Oh, come on!
918
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:18,421
It's a hybrid! I just got it.
I just picked it up!
919
00:31:18,443 --> 00:31:20,616
We'll ride around,
we'll glide around.
920
00:31:20,645 --> 00:31:21,919
I'm all pumped up on coffee.
921
00:31:21,946 --> 00:31:24,722
In the showroom, I had two cups.
It was free. Come on.
922
00:31:24,749 --> 00:31:25,955
Is it all right?
923
00:31:25,984 --> 00:31:27,429
- Oh!
Whatever you want.
924
00:31:28,286 --> 00:31:30,527
- All right,
I'll meet you at home.
925
00:31:30,555 --> 00:31:32,728
I'm gonna go ride
in a brand-new Camry.
926
00:31:32,757 --> 00:31:34,566
- I am gonna clip a coupon
and order something.
927
00:31:34,592 --> 00:31:35,570
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
928
00:31:35,593 --> 00:31:36,765
- Okay, sounds good.
- I'll see you later.
929
00:31:36,794 --> 00:31:37,772
- Bye!
- Hey, you guys...
930
00:31:37,795 --> 00:31:38,773
- Hold on.
- Bye, Dad!
931
00:31:38,796 --> 00:31:40,002
- What do you feel like?
- Bye!
932
00:31:40,031 --> 00:31:41,009
- Hello.
933
00:31:41,032 --> 00:31:42,136
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
934
00:31:42,166 --> 00:31:44,476
Hello?
Hold on, hold on.
935
00:31:44,502 --> 00:31:45,845
Hello!
936
00:31:45,870 --> 00:31:47,406
You know
how Bluetooth works?
937
00:31:47,438 --> 00:31:48,644
- In my car.
938
00:31:48,673 --> 00:31:50,380
- Rosie's calling.
I don't know how to answer it.
939
00:31:50,408 --> 00:31:52,979
I'm pushing every button
and-Oh, God, all right.
940
00:31:53,011 --> 00:31:54,115
Let's go.
941
00:31:54,145 --> 00:31:56,182
We'll just drop by the house
for just a second.
942
00:31:56,214 --> 00:31:57,192
How 'bout that?
943
00:31:57,215 --> 00:31:58,990
- Sure, we'll drop by.
This is a beautiful car.
944
00:31:59,017 --> 00:32:00,690
- Okay, go ahead, ask.
What do you want to know?
945
00:32:00,718 --> 00:32:02,720
Listen to how quiet.
946
00:32:09,861 --> 00:32:11,135
Listen to that.
947
00:32:11,162 --> 00:32:12,140
- What?
948
00:32:12,163 --> 00:32:14,143
- This car running
949
00:32:14,165 --> 00:32:17,146
makes less noise than most cars
when they're turned off.
950
00:32:17,168 --> 00:32:18,476
It's a gorgeous car.
951
00:32:18,503 --> 00:32:20,210
And listen, listen, listen.
You can't hear anything.
952
00:32:20,238 --> 00:32:22,377
Listen.
Barely hear the door slam.
953
00:32:22,407 --> 00:32:24,717
It's like a powder puff.
954
00:32:24,742 --> 00:32:26,449
- It's not-l can hear it slam.
955
00:32:26,477 --> 00:32:27,922
It's not loud,
but I can hear it.
956
00:32:27,946 --> 00:32:30,654
- When I was a kid,
I wanted a '67 Mustang-
957
00:32:30,682 --> 00:32:32,320
I got mine.
958
00:32:32,350 --> 00:32:33,988
Here, come on in.
- All right.
959
00:32:34,953 --> 00:32:36,591
- Honey?
960
00:32:36,621 --> 00:32:38,464
Rosie?
961
00:32:38,489 --> 00:32:39,559
Come in.
Come in, please.
962
00:32:39,590 --> 00:32:40,568
Let's see...
963
00:32:40,591 --> 00:32:42,901
Rosie?
Oh, she's not here.
964
00:32:42,927 --> 00:32:44,338
Well, this is where
it all happens.
965
00:32:44,362 --> 00:32:46,069
This is where
the magic happens.
966
00:32:46,097 --> 00:32:47,542
Every week,
967
00:32:47,565 --> 00:32:50,375
we order pizzas
from around the world.
968
00:32:51,669 --> 00:32:54,115
- What are pizzas
from around the world?
969
00:32:54,138 --> 00:32:55,139
- I-you know, most people
970
00:32:55,173 --> 00:32:56,811
have their favorite pizzeria,
you know.
971
00:32:56,841 --> 00:32:57,842
- Yeah.
972
00:32:57,875 --> 00:32:59,786
- We order pizza from,
literally, I'm telling you,
973
00:32:59,811 --> 00:33:02,314
20, 30 miles away.
You just get a flavor from...
974
00:33:02,347 --> 00:33:03,451
[STAMMERING]
975
00:33:03,481 --> 00:33:05,392
There's one way out call-
Hinojosa's,
976
00:33:05,416 --> 00:33:06,622
and it's delicious.
977
00:33:06,651 --> 00:33:07,925
It's a wonderful thing to have.
978
00:33:07,952 --> 00:33:08,953
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
979
00:33:15,893 --> 00:33:19,636
- Memories, memories,
memories.
980
00:33:29,507 --> 00:33:31,509
- Pictures.
Very nice.
981
00:33:33,077 --> 00:33:35,079
- This is one
I'm most proud of.
982
00:33:37,115 --> 00:33:39,652
We were in Mesa, Arizona.
983
00:33:39,684 --> 00:33:40,822
You ever been to Mesa?
984
00:33:40,852 --> 00:33:41,830
- No.
985
00:33:41,853 --> 00:33:43,696
- It's hot.
986
00:33:43,721 --> 00:33:45,723
I mean, it was burning.
987
00:33:45,757 --> 00:33:47,327
You know, the type
of burning, you know,
988
00:33:47,358 --> 00:33:49,269
you could be in sandals,
you could be in sneakers.
989
00:33:49,293 --> 00:33:51,466
It doesn't matter-you still
feel it beneath your feet.
990
00:33:51,496 --> 00:33:54,306
We rented the sombreros
and the ponchos, even had guns.
991
00:33:54,332 --> 00:33:56,175
He's got a gun.
You can't see my gun.
992
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:58,077
Look at the tenacity
on that kid's face.
993
00:33:58,102 --> 00:33:59,080
- Mm-hmm.
994
00:33:59,103 --> 00:34:00,446
- And the women were scared.
I'll give you that.
995
00:34:00,471 --> 00:34:02,280
We were scared.
996
00:34:02,306 --> 00:34:05,048
But damn it, we weren't
gonna let anything cross us.
997
00:34:05,076 --> 00:34:08,523
- But you took that at, like,
a photo place, right?
998
00:34:08,546 --> 00:34:09,889
- No, no, no.
Not a-
999
00:34:09,914 --> 00:34:12,622
It's one of those expansive
places, you know?
1000
00:34:12,650 --> 00:34:15,392
I mean, way out, is-is-are
the souvenirs and everything.
1001
00:34:15,420 --> 00:34:16,398
But you're sort of...
1002
00:34:16,421 --> 00:34:17,764
- A kiosk of some sort?
1003
00:34:19,690 --> 00:34:20,668
- Wasn't a kiosk.
1004
00:34:20,691 --> 00:34:21,897
- Mm-hmm.
1005
00:34:21,926 --> 00:34:24,566
- It was-you've got
a photographer out there
1006
00:34:24,595 --> 00:34:27,439
and you-you-you go out-
and you go out.
1007
00:34:27,465 --> 00:34:29,308
It was the West!
We were in Mesa!
1008
00:34:29,333 --> 00:34:30,311
- Mm-hmm.
1009
00:34:30,334 --> 00:34:32,041
- It was in-no!
1010
00:34:33,938 --> 00:34:35,645
No.
1011
00:34:35,673 --> 00:34:37,812
It was anything but a kiosk.
1012
00:34:39,811 --> 00:34:42,087
[LIGHT KNOCKING ON DOOR]
1013
00:34:42,113 --> 00:34:43,592
Tony?
1014
00:34:43,614 --> 00:34:45,753
[DOOR OPENING]
1015
00:34:53,291 --> 00:34:54,361
- [WHISPERING] S.O.F.
1016
00:34:56,594 --> 00:34:58,471
- Yeah.
1017
00:34:58,496 --> 00:34:59,474
That's great.
1018
00:34:59,497 --> 00:35:00,908
- What's S.O.F.?
1019
00:35:00,932 --> 00:35:02,206
- [WHISPERING]
Soldier of Fortune.
1020
00:35:02,233 --> 00:35:04,372
- Soldier of Fortune.
Why you guys whispering?
1021
00:35:04,402 --> 00:35:05,881
- [WHISPERING]
I can't let Rosie know
1022
00:35:05,903 --> 00:35:07,905
that I'm getting
Soldier of Fortune.
1023
00:35:07,939 --> 00:35:09,577
If she knows that I have
Soldier of Fortune,
1024
00:35:09,607 --> 00:35:10,677
she'll kill me.
1025
00:35:10,708 --> 00:35:12,483
- [WHISPERING] Kill him.
1026
00:35:12,510 --> 00:35:13,614
- Okay.
- Yeah.
1027
00:35:13,644 --> 00:35:15,089
That's great.
1028
00:35:15,113 --> 00:35:16,751
I can't believe-
Have you been to the range?
1029
00:35:16,781 --> 00:35:18,351
- [WHISPERING]
Every night.
1030
00:35:18,382 --> 00:35:20,328
- [WHISPERING] Yeah.
That's cool.
1031
00:35:20,351 --> 00:35:21,887
All right, I gotta hide this.
1032
00:35:21,919 --> 00:35:23,364
Okay, thanks, buddy.
1033
00:35:26,958 --> 00:35:28,699
- [EXHALES]
1034
00:35:28,726 --> 00:35:29,898
- [WHISPERING] How you doing?
1035
00:35:29,927 --> 00:35:30,905
- [WHISPERING]
Good, how you doing?
1036
00:35:30,928 --> 00:35:33,340
- Good. I'm Max.
- Hi, Max.
1037
00:35:33,364 --> 00:35:35,435
I'm Tony.
- Hey, Tony.
1038
00:35:38,136 --> 00:35:39,638
[SIGHS]
1039
00:35:46,811 --> 00:35:48,984
Is it hot out there?
1040
00:35:49,013 --> 00:35:50,424
- It's great today.
1041
00:35:50,448 --> 00:35:51,620
- Yeah, I was just out there.
1042
00:35:51,649 --> 00:35:53,424
I don't know why I even
asked you if it was hot,
1043
00:35:53,451 --> 00:35:54,429
because I was just
out there.
1044
00:35:54,452 --> 00:35:57,023
- It's great.
- Yeah.
1045
00:35:57,054 --> 00:35:58,192
- It's okay.
1046
00:35:58,222 --> 00:35:59,200
- We're just whispering.
1047
00:35:59,223 --> 00:36:00,201
- Why?
1048
00:36:00,224 --> 00:36:01,794
- Well, it's just all part
of the S.O.F. thing.
1049
00:36:01,826 --> 00:36:03,601
I don't want to give it up
and ruin it for you.
1050
00:36:03,628 --> 00:36:04,834
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
1051
00:36:04,862 --> 00:36:06,068
- Dude.
1052
00:36:08,599 --> 00:36:10,237
- Take care, Tony.
1053
00:36:10,268 --> 00:36:11,679
- Nice to meet you, Max.
1054
00:36:11,702 --> 00:36:12,874
- Pleasure.
1055
00:36:14,138 --> 00:36:15,139
- Honey?
1056
00:36:17,208 --> 00:36:18,744
I don't see her.
1057
00:36:19,443 --> 00:36:20,421
This is the bedroom.
1058
00:36:20,444 --> 00:36:23,015
We started doing,
like, Pennsylvania art.
1059
00:36:23,047 --> 00:36:25,391
Pennsylvania Dutch
type of art, uh-
1060
00:36:25,416 --> 00:36:28,329
I like to call it
"American Primitive."
1061
00:36:28,352 --> 00:36:29,729
It's a lot of wood.
1062
00:36:29,754 --> 00:36:31,700
It's a lot more wood
than I wanted.
1063
00:36:31,722 --> 00:36:33,326
This, believe it or not,
1064
00:36:33,357 --> 00:36:37,032
is where everything
I have is kept.
1065
00:36:37,061 --> 00:36:38,870
I got shirts.
I got my pants.
1066
00:36:38,896 --> 00:36:39,897
I got my ties.
1067
00:36:39,931 --> 00:36:42,605
But this-this-
this dresser-
1068
00:36:42,633 --> 00:36:44,078
To you, it's a little dresser.
1069
00:36:44,101 --> 00:36:47,241
To me, it's-
it's my gargantuan world.
1070
00:36:47,271 --> 00:36:49,581
This is-this is my
existence right here.
1071
00:36:49,607 --> 00:36:51,587
No, it's my dream to someday
1072
00:36:51,609 --> 00:36:53,714
maybe have an armoire
like right here.
1073
00:36:53,744 --> 00:36:55,724
- Harold, you don't need
an armoire.
1074
00:36:55,746 --> 00:36:58,226
- I don't need an armoire?
Forget it, forget it!
1075
00:36:58,249 --> 00:36:59,353
- Hartman called.
1076
00:36:59,383 --> 00:37:01,488
He said it's a "no can do"
on the Camry.
1077
00:37:01,519 --> 00:37:03,328
- Oh, no.
Oh, I'm sorry.
1078
00:37:03,354 --> 00:37:05,061
And I already-l drove it
out of the lot already.
1079
00:37:05,089 --> 00:37:06,090
I'm so sorry!
1080
00:37:06,123 --> 00:37:07,830
[STAMMERING]
I jumped way too quick.
1081
00:37:07,858 --> 00:37:09,599
I-'cause I already drove
it off the lot.
1082
00:37:09,627 --> 00:37:10,697
I'm sorry.
1083
00:37:10,728 --> 00:37:11,604
- That is you.
1084
00:37:11,629 --> 00:37:13,734
- I'm sorry, I always leap
before I crawl, and I'm sorry.
1085
00:37:13,764 --> 00:37:16,267
And I should have called him.
I should have asked you.
1086
00:37:16,300 --> 00:37:18,473
And, and I knew it.
I'm-l was wrong.
1087
00:37:18,502 --> 00:37:20,482
- How's little Jackie?
- Oh, he's great.
1088
00:37:20,504 --> 00:37:21,642
- Aww.
- Thank you for asking.
1089
00:37:21,672 --> 00:37:22,650
He's a great boy.
1090
00:37:22,673 --> 00:37:25,085
- Yeah.
He loves nature, doesn't he?
1091
00:37:26,911 --> 00:37:29,357
- I suppose, as much as
any kid loves nature.
1092
00:37:32,049 --> 00:37:33,790
So...
I'm gonna get going.
1093
00:37:33,818 --> 00:37:35,161
Can you give me a ride home?
- Yeah.
1094
00:37:35,186 --> 00:37:37,097
- Oh, the flatbed's
gonna be here any second
1095
00:37:37,121 --> 00:37:38,099
to load the Camry.
1096
00:37:38,122 --> 00:37:39,601
- Already?
1097
00:37:39,624 --> 00:37:40,830
No, I'm sorry.
1098
00:37:40,858 --> 00:37:43,668
- Yeah, can you use Rosie's car
and take me home?
1099
00:37:43,694 --> 00:37:45,173
- That's a no-go.
1100
00:37:47,798 --> 00:37:48,936
- No.
1101
00:37:48,966 --> 00:37:52,140
- How about you, Rosie?
Can you give me a ride home?
1102
00:37:52,169 --> 00:37:53,978
- Max...
No can do.
1103
00:38:00,011 --> 00:38:01,615
- I can call you a cab.
1104
00:38:03,247 --> 00:38:05,056
- [SIGHS]
1105
00:38:10,321 --> 00:38:13,063
Shouldn't you guys, uh,
be practicing baseball?
1106
00:38:13,090 --> 00:38:14,899
- No, we like soccer.
1107
00:38:14,925 --> 00:38:15,995
- All right.
1108
00:38:16,027 --> 00:38:17,005
I gotta tell ya...
1109
00:38:17,028 --> 00:38:19,099
- [LAUGHING] What?
What's with the cab?
1110
00:38:19,130 --> 00:38:21,440
- Uh...
1111
00:38:21,465 --> 00:38:22,466
[SIGHS]
1112
00:38:22,500 --> 00:38:25,310
They wouldn't
give me a ride home.
1113
00:38:25,336 --> 00:38:29,216
My imagination couldn't come up
with the stuff that I'm seeing,
1114
00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:30,218
this behavior.
1115
00:38:30,241 --> 00:38:31,447
You know, when I wondered,
1116
00:38:31,475 --> 00:38:33,182
"What is
their personal life like?"
1117
00:38:33,210 --> 00:38:34,484
I had no idea.
- Yeah, no-
1118
00:38:34,512 --> 00:38:35,820
- And I've got more people
to go.
1119
00:38:35,846 --> 00:38:37,723
I don't know what I'm thinking.
1120
00:38:37,748 --> 00:38:38,954
[SIGHS]
1121
00:38:38,983 --> 00:38:41,020
- Come on!
- Oh.
1122
00:38:41,052 --> 00:38:42,030
- Damn it!
1123
00:38:42,053 --> 00:38:43,623
Follow through, Jackie!
- Good job, Jack!
1124
00:38:43,654 --> 00:38:44,962
Sweet stuff.
1125
00:38:44,989 --> 00:38:46,161
- How's he doing?
1126
00:38:47,358 --> 00:38:48,063
[METAL BAT HITTING BALL]
1127
00:38:48,092 --> 00:38:49,036
- Oh!
There you go.
1128
00:38:49,060 --> 00:38:51,006
- Relax, relax.
Faster!
1129
00:38:51,028 --> 00:38:52,507
All right, get out.
Out.
1130
00:38:52,530 --> 00:38:53,975
Come on out.
You're done.
1131
00:38:53,998 --> 00:38:57,536
- Jack, Jack-
That was great, man.
1132
00:38:57,568 --> 00:38:58,672
- It's not a science.
1133
00:38:58,703 --> 00:39:01,183
- Hey! Got a sec?
Excuse me.
1134
00:39:01,205 --> 00:39:02,707
Who told you that?
1135
00:39:02,740 --> 00:39:04,447
- A friend.
- It is a science.
1136
00:39:04,475 --> 00:39:06,477
That kid lied to you,
all right?
1137
00:39:06,510 --> 00:39:08,251
What do you think
these numbers are?
1138
00:39:08,279 --> 00:39:10,122
Now, listen,
next time you go up,
1139
00:39:10,147 --> 00:39:12,286
I want you to glue that bat
to your shoulder.
1140
00:39:12,316 --> 00:39:14,091
I don't want you swinging.
1141
00:39:14,118 --> 00:39:16,120
That's how you get a walk.
[CHUCKLES]
1142
00:39:16,153 --> 00:39:18,394
Okay?
You know what else?
1143
00:39:20,124 --> 00:39:21,535
Try to get hit.
Okay?
1144
00:39:21,559 --> 00:39:22,560
It doesn't hurt that much.
1145
00:39:22,593 --> 00:39:24,129
Have you ever
got a shot at the doctor's?
1146
00:39:24,161 --> 00:39:25,299
- Yeah.
- It hurts like that.
1147
00:39:25,329 --> 00:39:27,605
Takes a second, goes away,
and then you get on base.
1148
00:39:27,631 --> 00:39:29,542
Good!
Manny!
1149
00:39:29,567 --> 00:39:31,205
- Do we play games
with our shoes untied?
1150
00:39:31,235 --> 00:39:32,213
- No.
1151
00:39:32,236 --> 00:39:33,214
- Do we play games
with our shirt untucked?
1152
00:39:33,237 --> 00:39:34,215
- No.
1153
00:39:34,238 --> 00:39:35,444
- Do we play games
with our belt undone?
1154
00:39:35,473 --> 00:39:36,451
- No.
1155
00:39:36,474 --> 00:39:38,147
- No, we don't.
We don't live in a barn, Manny.
1156
00:39:38,175 --> 00:39:39,984
We're going to tuck in
our shirt because...
1157
00:39:40,010 --> 00:39:42,581
we're not animals, right?
1158
00:39:42,613 --> 00:39:44,024
What does Mommy
always tell you?
1159
00:39:44,048 --> 00:39:45,026
- "Go big or go home."
1160
00:39:45,049 --> 00:39:46,926
- No.
"Don't fuck up," okay?
1161
00:39:46,951 --> 00:39:48,521
And you know what?
I want you to have fun.
1162
00:39:48,552 --> 00:39:50,031
That's most important,
okay?
1163
00:39:50,054 --> 00:39:52,000
And keep your elbows up.
Got it?
1164
00:39:52,022 --> 00:39:53,000
- What's going on?
- Hey!
1165
00:39:53,023 --> 00:39:54,001
- Go have fun, killer.
Elbows up!
1166
00:39:54,024 --> 00:39:55,002
- I'm excited about
coming over.
1167
00:39:55,025 --> 00:39:56,527
- Oh...
[LAUGHS]
1168
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:57,538
- You good with that still?
1169
00:39:57,561 --> 00:39:59,234
- Oh, I'm really good with it.
You're gonna enjoy it.
1170
00:39:59,263 --> 00:40:01,174
- Okay, cool.
- Bring all your tools.
1171
00:40:01,198 --> 00:40:02,905
- Bring all my tools?
- Yeah, bring your tools.
1172
00:40:02,933 --> 00:40:04,310
Bring all the stuff you need.
1173
00:40:04,335 --> 00:40:05,405
- For what?
1174
00:40:05,436 --> 00:40:06,881
- For whatever happens!
1175
00:40:06,904 --> 00:40:07,882
- I'm just gonna talk to you.
1176
00:40:07,905 --> 00:40:09,407
- Just bring a bunch of stuff.
1177
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:11,181
- When you say "a bunch of
stuff," it's just so random.
1178
00:40:11,208 --> 00:40:12,551
- It's random,
but just bring anything.
1179
00:40:12,576 --> 00:40:14,385
- Hey coach!
- [LAUGHS]
1180
00:40:14,412 --> 00:40:15,652
- Hey!
- Have a good game.
1181
00:40:15,679 --> 00:40:17,681
- Motivated.
Motivation!
1182
00:40:17,715 --> 00:40:19,353
- That's what it's about.
- That's right.
1183
00:40:19,383 --> 00:40:20,521
Bring whatever
you wanna bring.
1184
00:40:20,551 --> 00:40:21,359
- Okay.
1185
00:40:21,385 --> 00:40:23,023
- Uh, no snacks.
- No.
1186
00:40:23,053 --> 00:40:24,031
- Just stuff.
- Okay.
1187
00:40:24,054 --> 00:40:25,294
- All right? I'll see you
later on, all right?
1188
00:40:25,322 --> 00:40:27,324
- Have a good game, Coach.
- You damn right!
1189
00:40:27,358 --> 00:40:30,737
- Way to go, Stevie!
Throwing smoke!
1190
00:40:30,761 --> 00:40:32,798
Throwing smoke!
1191
00:40:32,830 --> 00:40:35,242
Good arm!
Good...arm!
1192
00:40:38,102 --> 00:40:40,946
[GASPS]
Max, Hi.
1193
00:40:40,971 --> 00:40:42,780
Um...
1194
00:40:42,807 --> 00:40:44,582
- I hate to be nitpicky.
- Mm-hmm.
1195
00:40:44,608 --> 00:40:47,487
- Um, Just wondering when you're
gonna have that money ready?
1196
00:40:47,511 --> 00:40:51,584
We are just keeping a running
tab for you and little Jackie!
1197
00:40:51,615 --> 00:40:52,593
- Mm-hmm.
1198
00:40:52,616 --> 00:40:54,994
- Uh, little Jackie took one
of my healthy muffins...
1199
00:40:55,019 --> 00:40:55,997
- He had one of
the healthy muffins?
1200
00:40:56,020 --> 00:40:56,998
- I was so proud of him!
- Yes!
1201
00:40:57,021 --> 00:40:58,796
- Oh, okay.
- They give you a lot of energy.
1202
00:40:58,823 --> 00:41:00,803
- But I will-
when I have some-
1203
00:41:00,825 --> 00:41:02,168
I don't have
any extra cash today.
1204
00:41:02,193 --> 00:41:03,171
- Okay.
- So I will...
1205
00:41:03,194 --> 00:41:04,537
- Because they go
towards the team
1206
00:41:04,562 --> 00:41:06,064
and towards
the coach's gifts.
1207
00:41:06,096 --> 00:41:07,404
- I know-for everything.
- Okay.
1208
00:41:07,431 --> 00:41:09,069
- By the way,
I think everyone should pay.
1209
00:41:09,099 --> 00:41:10,077
I'm with you.
- Oh, yeah.
1210
00:41:10,100 --> 00:41:11,078
- So I'm not against it.
- A few bucks?
1211
00:41:11,101 --> 00:41:12,341
- But I will-
More than a few bucks.
1212
00:41:12,369 --> 00:41:13,871
I'm gonna throw in a big 20.
- Okay, okay.
1213
00:41:13,904 --> 00:41:14,882
- Okay.
- All right.
1214
00:41:14,905 --> 00:41:16,714
- All right.
Okay.
1215
00:41:18,742 --> 00:41:20,744
[WHOOSHING SOUND, BAT HITTING BALL]
1216
00:41:24,548 --> 00:41:27,654
When I played
and you were coaching...
1217
00:41:27,685 --> 00:41:28,720
- Mm-hmm?
1218
00:41:28,752 --> 00:41:31,198
- What were the parents like?
Were they like these idiots?
1219
00:41:31,222 --> 00:41:33,099
- I don't know.
I didn't know most of 'em.
1220
00:41:33,123 --> 00:41:34,796
- You didn't know 'em?
1221
00:41:34,825 --> 00:41:36,998
- No.
How would I get to know 'em?
1222
00:41:37,027 --> 00:41:39,564
They drop off their kids.
They-they leave.
1223
00:41:39,597 --> 00:41:41,804
- They didn't even hang out?
1224
00:41:41,832 --> 00:41:43,470
- No.
Why would they hang out?
1225
00:41:43,501 --> 00:41:46,812
Parents got things to do.
That's-
1226
00:41:46,837 --> 00:41:48,976
What's wrong with you people?
1227
00:41:49,006 --> 00:41:51,043
That's what's wrong
with you people.
1228
00:41:51,075 --> 00:41:52,782
You're so involved.
1229
00:41:53,878 --> 00:41:54,856
You know?
1230
00:41:54,879 --> 00:41:56,881
Playing catch
with your kids is good.
1231
00:41:56,914 --> 00:41:59,793
Showing up and saying,
"Hey, nice job!"
1232
00:41:59,817 --> 00:42:02,024
Or, you know, whatever.
That's good.
1233
00:42:02,052 --> 00:42:04,032
But all this involvement.
1234
00:42:04,054 --> 00:42:06,864
We just did
whatever Coach says.
1235
00:42:06,891 --> 00:42:08,700
You don't remember
the stuff your coach did?
1236
00:42:08,726 --> 00:42:10,069
And I was, like, "whatever."
- Okay.
1237
00:42:10,094 --> 00:42:11,630
- "It's the coach.
Whatever Coach says."
1238
00:42:11,662 --> 00:42:13,869
- What if the coach tells
your kid to keep his bat
1239
00:42:13,898 --> 00:42:15,741
on the shoulder
every time he goes up to bat?
1240
00:42:15,766 --> 00:42:16,938
- That's what
the coach said?
1241
00:42:16,967 --> 00:42:18,105
- That's what the coach said!
1242
00:42:18,135 --> 00:42:20,547
See, that's my point.
We're in agreement.
1243
00:42:20,571 --> 00:42:21,982
- Yeah, yeah.
- We think alike.
1244
00:42:22,006 --> 00:42:23,246
I think just like you.
1245
00:42:24,241 --> 00:42:26,812
Do you know how often I,
like, do something and I go,
1246
00:42:26,844 --> 00:42:28,414
"That's what Dad
would've done"?
1247
00:42:28,445 --> 00:42:29,549
Do you know how many times
I do that?
1248
00:42:29,580 --> 00:42:31,082
All the time.
- Oh.
1249
00:42:31,115 --> 00:42:32,458
- I learned a lot from you.
1250
00:42:32,483 --> 00:42:34,895
- Well, you're welcome.
1251
00:42:34,919 --> 00:42:37,024
- Well, thank you.
Thank you big time.
1252
00:42:37,054 --> 00:42:38,397
Big time.
1253
00:42:41,592 --> 00:42:42,570
- I just don't buy it.
I'm sorry.
1254
00:42:42,593 --> 00:42:43,594
I should have explained.
1255
00:42:44,962 --> 00:42:46,339
- Now let me ask you guys
a question.
1256
00:42:46,363 --> 00:42:48,240
And I want you
to take this serious.
1257
00:42:48,265 --> 00:42:49,938
Really consider it.
1258
00:42:49,967 --> 00:42:51,708
How much for you
to go on the field
1259
00:42:51,735 --> 00:42:54,545
and run in a circle around
the whole field during the game?
1260
00:42:55,906 --> 00:42:57,442
- During the game
while people are watching?
1261
00:42:57,474 --> 00:42:58,748
- People are watching, yep.
1262
00:43:00,010 --> 00:43:03,287
- Why would you do that?
You'd be-you'd be a jackass.
1263
00:43:03,314 --> 00:43:05,191
- Well, that's what I'm saying-
how much money to be a jackass?
1264
00:43:05,215 --> 00:43:06,888
- Oh!
1265
00:43:06,917 --> 00:43:08,453
2,500 bucks.
1266
00:43:08,485 --> 00:43:09,862
- 2,500 bucks.
1267
00:43:09,887 --> 00:43:11,423
That makes it just tempting.
1268
00:43:11,455 --> 00:43:12,991
- Let's not get
Uncle Sam involved.
1269
00:43:13,023 --> 00:43:14,001
- Yeah.
- All right.
1270
00:43:14,024 --> 00:43:16,163
- 2,500 cash up front.
- Pure cash, my friend.
1271
00:43:16,193 --> 00:43:17,171
- You'd do it for $2,500?
1272
00:43:17,194 --> 00:43:18,571
- Yeah, how much
would you do it for?
1273
00:43:18,596 --> 00:43:19,631
- I wouldn't do it.
- What?
1274
00:43:19,663 --> 00:43:20,767
- Stop it.
- I wouldn't do it.
1275
00:43:20,798 --> 00:43:22,573
- $250,000.
1276
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:23,943
- Give me another number.
- What?
1277
00:43:23,968 --> 00:43:25,675
- A million dollars.
- Nope.
1278
00:43:25,703 --> 00:43:27,944
- $2 million.
- Nope.
1279
00:43:27,972 --> 00:43:28,950
- $5 million.
1280
00:43:28,973 --> 00:43:30,611
- It's not what I'm made of.
1281
00:43:30,641 --> 00:43:32,951
- I'm just thinking sometimes,
if we were to play
1282
00:43:32,977 --> 00:43:35,583
in one of these games,
how we would dominate.
1283
00:43:35,613 --> 00:43:37,684
- Who, you and me?
- Oh, man, yeah.
1284
00:43:37,715 --> 00:43:38,921
- With the kids this age?
1285
00:43:38,949 --> 00:43:41,589
- It must be like
how McGwire felt playing,
1286
00:43:41,619 --> 00:43:43,428
standing up there.
1287
00:43:43,454 --> 00:43:45,456
[SMATTERED APPLAUSE AND INDISTINCT CHATTER]
1288
00:43:49,293 --> 00:43:51,773
- This is Hans.
This is Max.
1289
00:43:51,795 --> 00:43:52,899
- Hi, Hans!
1290
00:43:52,930 --> 00:43:54,307
- [AUSTRIAN ACCENT]
Nice meeting you.
1291
00:43:54,331 --> 00:43:55,742
- You're the first Hans
I've ever met.
1292
00:43:55,766 --> 00:43:56,972
- Really?
Want some?
1293
00:43:57,001 --> 00:43:58,275
- Oh, I'll have a couple,
thank you.
1294
00:43:58,302 --> 00:43:59,474
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
1295
00:43:59,503 --> 00:44:01,540
- We used to be roommates
together in Paris
1296
00:44:01,572 --> 00:44:03,017
when we went to
culinary school.
1297
00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:04,212
- Oh, how about that?
- A great time, wasn't it?
1298
00:44:04,241 --> 00:44:06,118
- Yeah, that was fun.
We had a really good time.
1299
00:44:06,143 --> 00:44:07,850
- Oh, cool!
- I've got to go-
1300
00:44:07,878 --> 00:44:08,856
- You and Hans.
1301
00:44:08,879 --> 00:44:10,222
- Yeah, I-
I'm gonna be right back.
1302
00:44:10,247 --> 00:44:12,227
I gotta go to the loo.
Will you-
1303
00:44:12,249 --> 00:44:14,058
- Sure. Are you okay?
- Yeah, yeah, I'm fine!
1304
00:44:14,084 --> 00:44:16,121
I'll be back in a second.
Just hold my spot, yeah?
1305
00:44:16,153 --> 00:44:19,066
- For sure.
- She's going to the loo.
1306
00:44:19,089 --> 00:44:22,161
Which is normal to you.
To me, it's, uh-
1307
00:44:22,192 --> 00:44:24,172
it's usually the bathroom
or the restroom.
1308
00:44:24,194 --> 00:44:25,172
- Yeah.
1309
00:44:25,195 --> 00:44:26,606
- So how long you
been here for?
1310
00:44:26,630 --> 00:44:27,973
- Just arrived.
A couple days.
1311
00:44:27,998 --> 00:44:29,443
- And your first time
in America?
1312
00:44:29,466 --> 00:44:30,672
- First time America.
1313
00:44:30,701 --> 00:44:33,272
- Wow! Wow, wow.
You enjoying it?
1314
00:44:33,303 --> 00:44:35,078
- I love it. I just don't get
this sport here.
1315
00:44:35,105 --> 00:44:36,083
It looks fun and-
1316
00:44:36,106 --> 00:44:37,517
- It's very confusing-baseball-
1317
00:44:37,541 --> 00:44:39,145
for someone from-
where are you from?
1318
00:44:39,176 --> 00:44:40,519
- I'm Austrian.
- Austria.
1319
00:44:40,544 --> 00:44:42,615
Hans from Austria would not
understand this right away.
1320
00:44:42,646 --> 00:44:43,750
- I'm more soccer
and skiing, you know?
1321
00:44:43,781 --> 00:44:45,226
- Soccer's more simple
to understand.
1322
00:44:45,249 --> 00:44:47,092
You kick it, you stop it,
you kick in a goal.
1323
00:44:47,117 --> 00:44:48,255
- Yeah, you count the goal.
It's easy.
1324
00:44:48,285 --> 00:44:49,263
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1325
00:44:49,286 --> 00:44:51,027
- But here-what is this guy,
for example, doing there?
1326
00:44:51,055 --> 00:44:52,796
He's just standing around,
waiting for what?
1327
00:44:52,823 --> 00:44:54,598
- The ball to be hit to him,
maybe?
1328
00:44:54,625 --> 00:44:56,298
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1329
00:44:56,326 --> 00:44:59,466
So you've never-you've never
even seen a baseball game?
1330
00:44:59,496 --> 00:45:00,702
- First time.
1331
00:45:00,731 --> 00:45:02,267
- Wow.
- Yeah.
1332
00:45:02,299 --> 00:45:03,505
- Wow, wow, wow.
1333
00:45:05,335 --> 00:45:07,042
- Hey! Hey!
1334
00:45:07,071 --> 00:45:08,049
- [LAUGHING]
1335
00:45:08,072 --> 00:45:09,050
- Stranger on the field!
1336
00:45:09,073 --> 00:45:10,051
- [LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY]
1337
00:45:10,074 --> 00:45:13,078
- Stranger on the field!
Hey!
1338
00:45:13,110 --> 00:45:14,418
- How you doing?
1339
00:45:14,445 --> 00:45:15,947
- Get him off!
1340
00:45:15,979 --> 00:45:17,014
- Who are you?
1341
00:45:17,047 --> 00:45:18,549
- I'm Hans.
Who are you?
1342
00:45:18,582 --> 00:45:19,526
- I'm Jack.
1343
00:45:19,550 --> 00:45:21,359
- Nice to meet you, Jack.
1344
00:45:21,385 --> 00:45:22,523
- Max, who is that?
1345
00:45:22,553 --> 00:45:23,554
- I don't know!
1346
00:45:23,587 --> 00:45:24,827
- Get outta there!
1347
00:45:24,855 --> 00:45:25,833
- Part of the game, Coach?
1348
00:45:25,856 --> 00:45:26,994
- No, it's not a part
of the game!
1349
00:45:27,024 --> 00:45:28,002
- It's gonna be
an automatic out.
1350
00:45:28,025 --> 00:45:29,003
- What's happening?
Where's Hans?
1351
00:45:29,026 --> 00:45:30,471
- Um...
- Bring it in!
1352
00:45:30,494 --> 00:45:31,837
- Right there.
- Off the diamond, now!
1353
00:45:31,862 --> 00:45:33,341
- What's he doing out there?
- Hi, I'm Hans.
1354
00:45:33,363 --> 00:45:35,001
- That's it, let's go!
- Nice meeting you.
1355
00:45:35,032 --> 00:45:36,807
- That's illegal, dude.
What you're doing is...
1356
00:45:36,834 --> 00:45:37,938
- Great, man.
1357
00:45:38,902 --> 00:45:40,142
- Ooh, yeah!
1358
00:45:41,438 --> 00:45:42,940
See that?
1359
00:45:42,973 --> 00:45:44,953
That's what happens
around here!
1360
00:45:44,975 --> 00:45:46,977
[MILD APPLAUSE AND INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
1361
00:45:52,049 --> 00:45:54,586
- What are ya-
What are you writing?
1362
00:45:54,618 --> 00:45:55,756
- What I'm writing in here,
1363
00:45:55,786 --> 00:45:58,562
you could not comprehend
in your brain of brains.
1364
00:45:58,589 --> 00:46:00,262
If I let you read this,
1365
00:46:00,290 --> 00:46:01,894
you would throw it down
on the ground
1366
00:46:01,925 --> 00:46:03,268
and run
to a mental institution
1367
00:46:03,293 --> 00:46:05,239
and check yourself in
and request...
1368
00:46:05,262 --> 00:46:06,240
[BAT HITTING BALL]
1369
00:46:06,263 --> 00:46:08,072
A straightjacket.
1370
00:46:08,098 --> 00:46:09,702
- You're very intense.
1371
00:46:09,733 --> 00:46:11,076
- Throw it home!
1372
00:46:11,101 --> 00:46:12,944
Throw it home!
1373
00:46:12,970 --> 00:46:15,974
Steven, I swear to God,
get up right now!
1374
00:46:16,006 --> 00:46:19,010
Steven! Get up!
Throw it home!
1375
00:46:19,042 --> 00:46:20,316
- You know that's her son,
right?
1376
00:46:20,344 --> 00:46:21,322
- Go! Go! Go!
1377
00:46:21,345 --> 00:46:22,323
- Yeah, I know it's her son,
1378
00:46:22,346 --> 00:46:23,916
and he should throw
the fucking ball.
1379
00:46:23,947 --> 00:46:26,257
For a little kid,
he's a huge pussy.
1380
00:46:27,151 --> 00:46:29,757
- Suck it up!
Suck it up!
1381
00:46:31,688 --> 00:46:34,601
- Suck it up.
1382
00:46:34,625 --> 00:46:36,434
- The compound, baby!
Right?
1383
00:46:36,460 --> 00:46:37,438
- This is your compound?
1384
00:46:37,461 --> 00:46:38,439
- The compound.
1385
00:46:38,462 --> 00:46:40,032
Gotta use the bathroom?
Use it now.
1386
00:46:40,063 --> 00:46:41,337
The port-a-potty's
over there.
1387
00:46:41,365 --> 00:46:42,469
- Port-a-potty?
1388
00:46:42,499 --> 00:46:44,570
- By putting a port-a-potty
on my property,
1389
00:46:44,601 --> 00:46:45,807
people can't use my bathroom.
1390
00:46:45,836 --> 00:46:46,814
There's one thing
I don't like:
1391
00:46:46,837 --> 00:46:48,282
it's people sitting their ass
on my toilet.
1392
00:46:48,305 --> 00:46:50,285
Shangri-la, you know?
1393
00:46:50,307 --> 00:46:51,877
Pool over there.
1394
00:46:51,909 --> 00:46:53,684
I sleep over there.
Ladies?
1395
00:46:53,710 --> 00:46:55,314
My buddy Max, right here.
1396
00:46:55,345 --> 00:46:56,688
- Hi, Max Morris.
- Hi, Max.
1397
00:46:56,713 --> 00:46:57,987
- How are ya?
- Jackie.
1398
00:46:58,015 --> 00:46:59,722
- How are you, Jackie?
- "The Chocolatier."
1399
00:46:59,750 --> 00:47:01,252
- Hi.
- Nice to meet you.
1400
00:47:01,285 --> 00:47:02,628
- I call her "Tipsy Jessica."
1401
00:47:02,653 --> 00:47:05,156
- Tipsy Jessica?
- Be careful. [LAUGHS]
1402
00:47:05,189 --> 00:47:07,396
- Um--
Jackie the Chocolatier?
1403
00:47:07,424 --> 00:47:08,402
- Yes, indeed.
- Yes.
1404
00:47:08,425 --> 00:47:10,598
- A real chocolatier?
- A real chocolatier.
1405
00:47:10,627 --> 00:47:12,937
- You should do my podcast.
1406
00:47:12,963 --> 00:47:14,670
- What's your podcast?
1407
00:47:14,698 --> 00:47:16,974
- It's like sex...
1408
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:19,913
and science,
like, together.
1409
00:47:19,937 --> 00:47:22,884
And we need to have
volunteers come,
1410
00:47:22,906 --> 00:47:26,012
and they have to, like,
take off their clothes,
1411
00:47:26,043 --> 00:47:28,717
but then, like,
we do a radio show,
1412
00:47:28,745 --> 00:47:31,749
but like, people don't know
that our clothes are off,
1413
00:47:31,782 --> 00:47:35,423
and so then,
it's like a party.
1414
00:47:36,820 --> 00:47:39,232
But, like, you know,
we don't like, fuck.
1415
00:47:39,256 --> 00:47:40,792
Unless you want to.
1416
00:47:40,824 --> 00:47:43,304
That's, like, totally up to you.
- No, I'm good, I'm good.
1417
00:47:44,695 --> 00:47:46,174
Okay.
- Yeah.
1418
00:47:46,196 --> 00:47:47,231
- So nice to meet you.
1419
00:47:47,264 --> 00:47:49,073
- Podcast, you can do
what you want to do.
1420
00:47:49,099 --> 00:47:50,407
So I got burgers
and, you know, I carry-
1421
00:47:50,434 --> 00:47:52,414
I carry the burgers,
the hot dogs.
1422
00:47:52,436 --> 00:47:54,609
- You ca...You say it like
it's a-like it's a restaurant-
1423
00:47:54,638 --> 00:47:56,174
you "carry the burgers."
1424
00:47:56,206 --> 00:47:57,685
Do you charge people
for the burgers?
1425
00:47:57,708 --> 00:47:58,686
- Of course I do.
1426
00:47:58,709 --> 00:47:59,687
- What are you doing?
1427
00:47:59,710 --> 00:48:00,780
What kind of place do you have
that you charge people?
1428
00:48:00,811 --> 00:48:01,755
- This is a compound.
1429
00:48:01,778 --> 00:48:02,848
When you're dealing
with a compound,
1430
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:04,018
these kind of things happen.
1431
00:48:04,047 --> 00:48:05,822
This is my buddy over here,
Freddy.
1432
00:48:07,117 --> 00:48:08,460
- Yeah, playa.
My dude, son.
1433
00:48:08,485 --> 00:48:10,362
- You good, baby?
1434
00:48:10,387 --> 00:48:11,365
Ahh!
1435
00:48:11,388 --> 00:48:12,833
- What's up?
Who's this?
1436
00:48:12,856 --> 00:48:13,834
- This is Max right here.
1437
00:48:13,857 --> 00:48:14,835
- Hey.
Max Morris.
1438
00:48:14,858 --> 00:48:15,836
- We don't don't this.
We do this.
1439
00:48:15,859 --> 00:48:17,236
- Okay.
- [LAUGHING]
1440
00:48:17,261 --> 00:48:19,002
- Good to meet you, Max.
- Good to meet you too.
1441
00:48:19,029 --> 00:48:20,201
- All right.
1442
00:48:20,230 --> 00:48:22,767
Hey, so he's sitting here
keepin' the pool clean.
1443
00:48:22,799 --> 00:48:24,403
The pool gets dirty.
- Uh-huh.
1444
00:48:24,434 --> 00:48:25,538
- A lot of people come
through here.
1445
00:48:25,569 --> 00:48:27,071
They eat hamburgers.
They eat hot dogs.
1446
00:48:27,104 --> 00:48:28,674
You know, they just dive
into the water
1447
00:48:28,705 --> 00:48:30,013
without washing their ass.
1448
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:32,179
Always take a shower.
1449
00:48:32,209 --> 00:48:33,586
- All right.
So...
1450
00:48:33,610 --> 00:48:35,317
- What's up, man?
- Here we go! Here we go!
1451
00:48:35,345 --> 00:48:37,325
- Whoo!
- Big Time Sarah!
1452
00:48:37,347 --> 00:48:38,655
- That's right.
- [LAUGHING]
1453
00:48:38,682 --> 00:48:40,059
- I brought the white bread.
1454
00:48:40,083 --> 00:48:42,063
- Autobiography time.
- Oh, yeah. Oh, goody.
1455
00:48:42,085 --> 00:48:43,063
- That's what we're here for.
1456
00:48:43,086 --> 00:48:44,064
- 'Cause I got lots
to tell y'all...
1457
00:48:44,087 --> 00:48:45,532
- Good times are cool, but let's
get down to some business.
1458
00:48:45,555 --> 00:48:46,533
- You don't even know.
1459
00:48:46,556 --> 00:48:48,092
- What is this?
- Autobiography.
1460
00:48:48,125 --> 00:48:50,230
We're all writing
our autobiography.
1461
00:48:50,260 --> 00:48:51,432
- You're all writing
your autobiography?
1462
00:48:51,461 --> 00:48:52,906
That's why you're meeting up?
- We all have one.
1463
00:48:52,930 --> 00:48:54,967
- "Like me" on Facebook.
- She has one.
1464
00:48:54,998 --> 00:48:56,739
I have one.
- Jackie!
1465
00:48:56,767 --> 00:48:58,007
- Jessica has one.
1466
00:48:58,035 --> 00:48:59,639
- All right.
- Jackie has one.
1467
00:48:59,670 --> 00:49:01,172
Big Time Sarah has one.
- So you meet over here and-
1468
00:49:01,204 --> 00:49:03,650
I'll just watch. Thank you.
- It's all good, come on.
1469
00:49:03,674 --> 00:49:06,678
- I just kind of want to
end my book with
1470
00:49:06,710 --> 00:49:08,314
"Ambitions in chocolate."
1471
00:49:08,345 --> 00:49:11,121
Or "Finding the chocolate
lining in things."
1472
00:49:11,148 --> 00:49:12,320
- That's what you
should call it.
1473
00:49:12,349 --> 00:49:13,623
- That's a good title.
That's a very good title.
1474
00:49:13,650 --> 00:49:17,223
- Yeah, especially since it has
to do with all that chocolate.
1475
00:49:17,254 --> 00:49:20,861
- If you had to put your hand
on your throat to regurgitate,
1476
00:49:20,891 --> 00:49:22,666
would you be afraid to eat
your own damn hand?
1477
00:49:22,693 --> 00:49:24,468
That's what I want to know.
1478
00:49:24,494 --> 00:49:27,100
- Well, no, I'm not afraid
to eat my hand.
1479
00:49:27,130 --> 00:49:29,440
I've had many hands
shoved down my throat,
1480
00:49:29,466 --> 00:49:30,911
as you-as you all know.
1481
00:49:30,934 --> 00:49:32,777
You know that.
Everybody knows that.
1482
00:49:32,803 --> 00:49:34,714
- You hold a child, right?
1483
00:49:34,738 --> 00:49:36,547
You hold him, you know?
1484
00:49:36,573 --> 00:49:38,519
I never got that.
I never got that!
1485
00:49:38,542 --> 00:49:40,613
- Aww...
- I never got held.
1486
00:49:40,644 --> 00:49:43,557
- I'm a foster mom.
- You're a foster mom?
1487
00:49:43,580 --> 00:49:45,992
Yeah, you want to be held.
1488
00:49:46,016 --> 00:49:47,654
My things is this:
1489
00:49:47,684 --> 00:49:50,665
I got involved
with coaching,
1490
00:49:50,687 --> 00:49:53,429
kids, baseball,
1491
00:49:53,457 --> 00:49:56,597
'cause I was a terrible
baseball player myself.
1492
00:49:56,626 --> 00:49:58,333
The game tee ball?
Remember tee ball?
1493
00:49:58,362 --> 00:49:59,568
You put the ball
on a little tee.
1494
00:49:59,596 --> 00:50:01,007
- Oh, yeah.
- And you hit the ball.
1495
00:50:01,031 --> 00:50:02,772
- I struck out
playing tee ball.
1496
00:50:02,799 --> 00:50:04,904
And I never lived it down.
1497
00:50:04,935 --> 00:50:06,915
I mean, that right there
1498
00:50:06,937 --> 00:50:11,408
really motivated me
to teach kids how to hit.
1499
00:50:12,242 --> 00:50:13,220
[STAMMERING AND VOICE CRACKING]
1500
00:50:13,243 --> 00:50:15,223
I apply hitting
to everything.
1501
00:50:15,245 --> 00:50:16,918
- Now you're hitting everything!
- I'm hitting every damn thing.
1502
00:50:16,947 --> 00:50:18,790
- I'll be damned.
- I'm hitting ass!
1503
00:50:18,815 --> 00:50:21,762
Hitting pools, hitting trailers,
hitting t-shirts,
1504
00:50:21,785 --> 00:50:24,698
hitting the kitchen outside,
hitting the gym set.
1505
00:50:24,721 --> 00:50:26,064
- Last week you hit my car.
1506
00:50:26,089 --> 00:50:27,693
- All I do is hit now!
I'm a hit-
1507
00:50:27,724 --> 00:50:28,794
I hit-and-run last week.
1508
00:50:28,825 --> 00:50:30,566
- Hit-and-run.
But you hitting!
1509
00:50:30,594 --> 00:50:32,733
- All I do is hit,
hit, hit, hit.
1510
00:50:32,763 --> 00:50:34,265
That's what I want kids
to do.
1511
00:50:34,297 --> 00:50:37,244
I want kids to get hits.
Thus...
1512
00:50:37,267 --> 00:50:39,247
- That's right.
- Baseball.
1513
00:50:39,269 --> 00:50:40,475
Freddy.
1514
00:50:40,504 --> 00:50:43,781
- I was just thinking about
and writing about, like,
1515
00:50:43,807 --> 00:50:47,482
the first fight
that I almost won.
1516
00:50:47,511 --> 00:50:50,458
He gave me a good shot
in the stomach,
1517
00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:52,221
which kind of, like,
stopped the whole fight.
1518
00:50:52,249 --> 00:50:54,195
- So did you put that
in your book?
1519
00:50:54,217 --> 00:50:55,195
- Yeah, it's in there.
1520
00:50:55,218 --> 00:50:56,196
- You gonna put that
in your book?
1521
00:50:56,219 --> 00:50:57,425
- I mean, it happened.
- That's depressing.
1522
00:50:57,454 --> 00:50:58,592
- I been there.
I been there.
1523
00:50:58,622 --> 00:51:00,033
I been there.
I been there, Freddy.
1524
00:51:00,057 --> 00:51:03,266
I had a fight with a guy when
I was a kid, and we both lost.
1525
00:51:03,994 --> 00:51:04,972
- That's crazy.
- That can happen.
1526
00:51:04,995 --> 00:51:06,201
- How can you both-lost?
1527
00:51:06,229 --> 00:51:07,207
- We both lost.
It was-
1528
00:51:07,230 --> 00:51:08,971
It was the most horrible fight
you ever seen in your life.
1529
00:51:08,999 --> 00:51:10,774
- Was it like Rocky, where you
both, like, lay on the canvas?
1530
00:51:10,801 --> 00:51:11,939
- No, it was just
a terrible fight.
1531
00:51:11,968 --> 00:51:12,946
It was just a terrible fight.
1532
00:51:12,969 --> 00:51:14,812
There was no winner,
and we both lost.
1533
00:51:14,838 --> 00:51:16,818
It was the worst fight
I've ever had in my life.
1534
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:19,446
- That's a shame.
- It was-we both lost.
1535
00:51:19,476 --> 00:51:21,285
[DOG BARKING FAINTLY]
1536
00:51:21,311 --> 00:51:22,289
Jessica?
1537
00:51:22,312 --> 00:51:24,314
Uh, you know, you don't have
anything written down.
1538
00:51:24,347 --> 00:51:26,122
I mean, I know we offered
to help out-
1539
00:51:26,149 --> 00:51:28,356
- I got it all up here.
1540
00:51:28,385 --> 00:51:30,160
- Oh!
- She's smart.
1541
00:51:30,187 --> 00:51:32,599
- She's fucking brilliant.
- She is smart.
1542
00:51:32,622 --> 00:51:34,363
- She's very smart.
- I wish I could retain, like-
1543
00:51:34,391 --> 00:51:35,369
- He's gonna-he's gonna
help me write it.
1544
00:51:35,392 --> 00:51:37,372
- Yeah, I was gonna-
She was gonna come over tonight
1545
00:51:37,394 --> 00:51:38,964
and then we just gonna
just chill.
1546
00:51:38,995 --> 00:51:41,032
- Practice your penmanship.
- Yeah, pretty much.
1547
00:51:41,064 --> 00:51:42,509
- Okay.
- Okay.
1548
00:51:42,532 --> 00:51:43,510
- I got it.
- What?
1549
00:51:43,533 --> 00:51:45,444
- I get it. You get it?
- I think I do.
1550
00:51:45,469 --> 00:51:47,210
- Got it!
- I mean, she's gonna get it.
1551
00:51:47,237 --> 00:51:49,012
I mean-
- I know she's gonna get it.
1552
00:51:49,039 --> 00:51:50,484
- How much do you get
for a book deal?
1553
00:51:50,507 --> 00:51:51,645
That's what I need
to know, 'cause...
1554
00:51:51,675 --> 00:51:54,485
[HICCUPS]
my book's about my brand.
1555
00:51:54,511 --> 00:51:57,390
And like getting-
how to get a brand.
1556
00:51:57,414 --> 00:51:59,121
- All right, you like that?
- Yeah, I like that.
1557
00:51:59,149 --> 00:52:01,129
- I'm gonna go swimming.
1558
00:52:05,856 --> 00:52:08,803
[UPBEAT JAZZY MUSIC]
1559
00:52:08,825 --> 00:52:11,465
♪♪
1560
00:52:11,495 --> 00:52:13,475
[KNOCKING GENTLY]
1561
00:52:13,497 --> 00:52:21,507
♪♪
1562
00:52:23,507 --> 00:52:26,113
- Can I get you a glass of wine
or something?
1563
00:52:26,143 --> 00:52:28,145
- No, I'm fine.
- Okay.
1564
00:52:28,178 --> 00:52:30,158
Oh, can you just
do me a favor
1565
00:52:30,180 --> 00:52:32,490
and stay behind-
right there?
1566
00:52:32,516 --> 00:52:34,496
You could lean, do whatever,
I just-
1567
00:52:34,518 --> 00:52:36,862
this is, you know,
kind of the cooking space,
1568
00:52:36,887 --> 00:52:40,061
and it needs to be sanitary
and all that stuff, so...
1569
00:52:40,090 --> 00:52:41,569
- Okay, sure.
- I don't know-
1570
00:52:41,591 --> 00:52:42,695
- Sure.
Right here is good?
1571
00:52:42,726 --> 00:52:44,467
- Yeah, perfect!
- All right.
1572
00:52:44,494 --> 00:52:47,168
- Can I get you anything?
Noth-hey!
1573
00:52:47,197 --> 00:52:49,177
Keep those sneakers
away from my kitchen.
1574
00:52:49,199 --> 00:52:50,177
- Uh-huh.
1575
00:52:50,200 --> 00:52:51,577
- Mmm.
All right.
1576
00:52:51,601 --> 00:52:54,343
- So your place
has a lesbiany vibe to it.
1577
00:52:55,172 --> 00:52:56,150
It really does.
1578
00:52:56,173 --> 00:52:58,551
I feel like
I'm in a lesbian home.
1579
00:52:58,575 --> 00:52:59,553
There's lesbiany
and not lesbiany...
1580
00:52:59,576 --> 00:53:01,214
- Excuse me, what do you mean?
What should-
1581
00:53:01,244 --> 00:53:03,019
- [STAMMERING]
Is the house lesbiany?
1582
00:53:03,046 --> 00:53:05,959
- What should a "house lesbiany"
be, in your opinion?
1583
00:53:05,982 --> 00:53:08,656
- I don't know, I've never
been in a lesbian house.
1584
00:53:08,685 --> 00:53:11,666
- Actually, to be honest,
it is quite lesbionic.
1585
00:53:11,688 --> 00:53:12,666
It's very lesbian.
1586
00:53:12,689 --> 00:53:13,667
- Lesbionic?
1587
00:53:13,690 --> 00:53:15,670
- Well-
- Is that a real word?
1588
00:53:15,692 --> 00:53:17,831
- I don't think le-I think
it's as real as "lesbiany,"
1589
00:53:17,861 --> 00:53:21,434
but it's-it's very-
Oh, baby! Hi, sweetheart!
1590
00:53:21,464 --> 00:53:22,636
- Hi.
- How ya doing?
1591
00:53:22,666 --> 00:53:23,644
- Did you have fun?
- Yeah.
1592
00:53:23,667 --> 00:53:25,237
- I'm good.
- Did you wash your hands?
1593
00:53:25,268 --> 00:53:26,246
- No!
- I'm good, thank you.
1594
00:53:26,269 --> 00:53:27,907
- Will you go wash your hands...
- Go do your homework!
1595
00:53:27,938 --> 00:53:29,417
- And we're gonna eat
in like an hour.
1596
00:53:29,439 --> 00:53:31,680
- Permission to enter
my own fucking kitchen?
1597
00:53:31,708 --> 00:53:33,745
- Yes, but can you take off
your shoes, babe?
1598
00:53:33,777 --> 00:53:34,755
- No, I'm not taking off my-
- Babe-
1599
00:53:34,778 --> 00:53:36,485
- We have guests!
I'm not taking off my shoes.
1600
00:53:36,513 --> 00:53:38,493
- I know but-don't touch!
Have you washed your hands?
1601
00:53:38,515 --> 00:53:41,155
- What are you making?
It stinks in here.
1602
00:53:41,184 --> 00:53:42,686
- Babe, I'm making a quiche.
- Ugh.
1603
00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:44,062
- A fantastic quiche.
- Who is gonna-who is gonna-
1604
00:53:44,087 --> 00:53:45,395
you're gonna make
a huge quiche for who?
1605
00:53:45,422 --> 00:53:46,400
- Manny's gonna eat it,
and you're gonna eat it,
1606
00:53:46,423 --> 00:53:47,401
and I'm gonna eat it.
1607
00:53:47,424 --> 00:53:48,402
- No, Manny's not
eating quiche.
1608
00:53:48,425 --> 00:53:49,597
- Sweetheart, seriously?
- No, Manny needs red meat.
1609
00:53:49,626 --> 00:53:50,604
He has a game coming up.
1610
00:53:50,627 --> 00:53:51,605
Why are you feeding
my son quiche?
1611
00:53:51,628 --> 00:53:52,971
- What's wrong with quiche?
- Don't feed my son quiche.
1612
00:53:52,996 --> 00:53:54,202
- Can you believe I have
to deal with this shit?
1613
00:53:54,231 --> 00:53:56,734
- She's trying to turn him gay.
I believe it.
1614
00:53:56,766 --> 00:53:57,870
You know, this is her dream.
1615
00:53:57,901 --> 00:53:58,879
Don't tell me
this isn't your dream.
1616
00:53:58,902 --> 00:54:00,381
- That's charming.
- This is her dream.
1617
00:54:00,403 --> 00:54:01,381
- Super charming.
1618
00:54:01,404 --> 00:54:03,042
- I croak because
I'm a super athlete,
1619
00:54:03,073 --> 00:54:04,848
and we always die young,
'cause even though we-
1620
00:54:04,874 --> 00:54:07,218
you know, we work our bodies-
I'm like a horse.
1621
00:54:07,244 --> 00:54:08,655
I die young...
- Thoroughbred.
1622
00:54:08,678 --> 00:54:09,656
- She moves to New York City,
1623
00:54:09,679 --> 00:54:10,657
which she never stops
talking about,
1624
00:54:10,680 --> 00:54:13,183
in a little apartment
with her gay son...
1625
00:54:13,216 --> 00:54:14,627
- He's not gay.
- And his lover.
1626
00:54:14,651 --> 00:54:16,324
- Manny is so not gay.
- She's trying to make him gay.
1627
00:54:16,353 --> 00:54:18,856
And his lover,
because here's her theory:
1628
00:54:18,888 --> 00:54:20,526
Gay men take care
of their moms.
1629
00:54:20,557 --> 00:54:21,535
- Well, they do.
1630
00:54:21,558 --> 00:54:22,969
That's not a theory.
That's a fact, my friend.
1631
00:54:22,993 --> 00:54:24,495
- He'll make her up,
put a wig on her, slap some-
1632
00:54:24,527 --> 00:54:26,131
take her to the Met ball.
1633
00:54:26,162 --> 00:54:27,402
That's what she thinks!
1634
00:54:27,430 --> 00:54:28,408
- I have one question.
1635
00:54:28,431 --> 00:54:30,934
It's very specific 'cause it's
just occurring to me.
1636
00:54:30,967 --> 00:54:33,413
Why is it that lesbians,
1637
00:54:33,436 --> 00:54:36,383
who clearly like women,
1638
00:54:36,406 --> 00:54:37,851
they seem to-
1639
00:54:37,874 --> 00:54:41,583
One of them tends to be more
masculine than the other one,
1640
00:54:41,611 --> 00:54:44,717
and it seems to be that
they're almost mimicking
1641
00:54:44,748 --> 00:54:47,592
heterosexual couples
in a way?
1642
00:54:47,617 --> 00:54:52,498
- Who do you think that is
in this couple?
1643
00:54:52,522 --> 00:54:54,331
- You know what's interesting?
1644
00:54:55,859 --> 00:54:58,669
You're like the exception
to the rule.
1645
00:54:58,695 --> 00:55:00,697
- Hmm.
- You guys are.
1646
00:55:04,534 --> 00:55:07,515
[BOUNCY JAZZ MUSIC]
1647
00:55:07,537 --> 00:55:15,547
♪♪
1648
00:55:23,920 --> 00:55:26,764
- It's a long fly ball
going back towards the wall!
1649
00:55:26,790 --> 00:55:28,599
He's going back!
He's going back!
1650
00:55:28,625 --> 00:55:30,229
And he snags it!
- [LAUGHS]
1651
00:55:30,260 --> 00:55:32,763
- Just in front of the wall.
I do that every time.
1652
00:55:32,796 --> 00:55:34,639
That's a-here, take one.
1653
00:55:34,664 --> 00:55:35,836
A double off the wall,
in your case.
1654
00:55:35,865 --> 00:55:37,208
- That looks really
comfortable.
1655
00:55:37,233 --> 00:55:40,840
- It isn't really, but it's
worth the joke every time.
1656
00:55:40,870 --> 00:55:42,679
- Oh, my God.
- So...
1657
00:55:42,706 --> 00:55:45,550
- This is a great place to hang
out and watch the ball game.
1658
00:55:45,575 --> 00:55:47,213
- Uh-huh.
1659
00:55:47,243 --> 00:55:49,189
Yeah, I love baseball.
I love watching it.
1660
00:55:49,212 --> 00:55:50,190
I played it.
1661
00:55:50,213 --> 00:55:52,386
I had dreams of, uh-
of being good.
1662
00:55:52,415 --> 00:55:57,125
I played, I got an offer
of a scholarship to Ball State,
1663
00:55:57,153 --> 00:55:58,257
but I didn't want to go...
- Really?
1664
00:55:58,288 --> 00:55:59,266
- 'Cause of the name,
you know,
1665
00:55:59,289 --> 00:56:01,064
I thought it would be
a lot of jokes.
1666
00:56:01,091 --> 00:56:03,901
- You turned down a scholarship
based on the school's name?
1667
00:56:03,927 --> 00:56:05,634
- I was cocky, you know?
I thought-
1668
00:56:05,662 --> 00:56:07,437
And then I wanted
to go down to Stetson.
1669
00:56:07,464 --> 00:56:08,499
Did you ever hear of that?
That's down in Florida.
1670
00:56:08,531 --> 00:56:09,509
- Yeah, Stetson, Florida,
1671
00:56:09,532 --> 00:56:11,068
near Orlando,
if I'm not mistaken.
1672
00:56:11,101 --> 00:56:12,671
- Yeah, it is on
the east coast.
1673
00:56:12,702 --> 00:56:15,706
But someone said, "Oh, you're
gonna go into the hat business?"
1674
00:56:15,739 --> 00:56:17,946
So, it's, uh-it's gonna be
a good season.
1675
00:56:17,974 --> 00:56:20,079
Your kid is a pretty
crackerjack ball player.
1676
00:56:20,110 --> 00:56:22,215
- You think so?
I don't think so.
1677
00:56:22,245 --> 00:56:23,553
- No?
Well, I don't know.
1678
00:56:23,580 --> 00:56:25,355
- Your son's the one
who's good.
1679
00:56:25,382 --> 00:56:27,521
- Well, we're looking ahead.
We're looking to college.
1680
00:56:27,550 --> 00:56:30,429
I want him to get a, uh-
I'm hoping for a scholarship.
1681
00:56:30,453 --> 00:56:34,401
Uh, I'm hoping for pro ball.
Making the big show.
1682
00:56:34,424 --> 00:56:35,402
That's what
I'm concentrating on.
1683
00:56:35,425 --> 00:56:36,597
- Can you tell?
He's only ten.
1684
00:56:36,626 --> 00:56:38,264
- Yeah, I just have a feeling.
1685
00:56:38,294 --> 00:56:40,570
He's not there yet but, um,
1686
00:56:40,597 --> 00:56:42,304
I'm gonna keep pounding
and keep after him
1687
00:56:42,332 --> 00:56:44,278
and make sure
he wants to do it.
1688
00:56:44,300 --> 00:56:45,904
You know,
sometimes he's not sure,
1689
00:56:45,935 --> 00:56:47,915
and I have to tell him
that he wants to do it.
1690
00:56:47,937 --> 00:56:50,440
I take him out to the ball game,
and he loves it.
1691
00:56:50,473 --> 00:56:52,646
Sometimes kids
don't know what they want.
1692
00:56:52,675 --> 00:56:53,653
- Yeah.
1693
00:56:53,676 --> 00:56:56,714
- Um, I've actually pitched
to Rick.
1694
00:56:56,746 --> 00:56:57,918
And what you've got to do
1695
00:56:57,947 --> 00:57:00,018
is hit him a couple times
with the ball.
1696
00:57:00,049 --> 00:57:01,460
Then they're not
afraid of it anymore.
1697
00:57:01,484 --> 00:57:02,462
- You hit him?
1698
00:57:02,485 --> 00:57:03,463
What, you pitch the ball
and hit him?
1699
00:57:03,486 --> 00:57:04,897
- Just pitch at him.
Watch out!
1700
00:57:04,921 --> 00:57:06,457
Don't tell him I said that.
1701
00:57:07,891 --> 00:57:09,461
- Can you imagine me
telling your son
1702
00:57:09,492 --> 00:57:11,768
that you throw at him
on purpose?
1703
00:57:11,795 --> 00:57:13,433
- And the trouble is,
he's still afraid-
1704
00:57:13,463 --> 00:57:15,340
That made him more afraid,
and I said, "Look"-
1705
00:57:15,365 --> 00:57:16,708
- It would make me
more afraid too.
1706
00:57:16,733 --> 00:57:18,303
That's the craziest logic
I've ever heard.
1707
00:57:18,334 --> 00:57:20,940
- Yeah, but now he knows
what it feels like to be-
1708
00:57:20,970 --> 00:57:21,948
- But, I mean, he's ten.
1709
00:57:21,971 --> 00:57:23,746
Shouldn't it just be
for fun now, or-
1710
00:57:23,773 --> 00:57:24,717
Why does it have to be
so serious?
1711
00:57:24,741 --> 00:57:26,618
- Yeah, it could be
for fun now.
1712
00:57:26,643 --> 00:57:28,122
You know, you gotta
think of the future.
1713
00:57:28,144 --> 00:57:31,091
If you let kids
just have fun,
1714
00:57:31,114 --> 00:57:33,390
they wouldn't do anything.
1715
00:57:33,416 --> 00:57:36,260
Oh, crap.
Why do we bet on horses?
1716
00:57:36,286 --> 00:57:37,526
- I don't get on horses.
1717
00:57:37,554 --> 00:57:40,535
- [SIGHS] Well, it can be fun
if you ever win.
1718
00:57:40,557 --> 00:57:42,901
But you don't know what the hell
is going through their mind.
1719
00:57:42,926 --> 00:57:45,532
Well, that's it.
Thanks so much for stopping by.
1720
00:57:45,562 --> 00:57:47,473
Good luck
with your project.
1721
00:57:47,497 --> 00:57:49,499
- Aren't we gonna go
look in the house?
1722
00:57:50,667 --> 00:57:54,410
- Uh, you can't get in
the house now, um...
1723
00:57:54,437 --> 00:57:57,543
- I can't get in-
You live out here?
1724
00:57:57,574 --> 00:57:59,554
- Yeah, yeah, temporarily.
1725
00:57:59,576 --> 00:58:03,023
I'm, uh-
this is where I crash, uh-
1726
00:58:03,046 --> 00:58:05,219
- Right now-
- Where does Ricky live?
1727
00:58:05,248 --> 00:58:07,421
- He's with wife number two.
1728
00:58:07,450 --> 00:58:08,428
- Mm-hmm.
1729
00:58:08,451 --> 00:58:10,954
- Andrea's number...
1730
00:58:10,987 --> 00:58:12,967
I'm joking,
she's just number four.
1731
00:58:12,989 --> 00:58:14,662
But she's the one-
1732
00:58:14,691 --> 00:58:16,602
I think we're gonna
get back together.
1733
00:58:16,626 --> 00:58:18,628
But I want to give her
some time.
1734
00:58:18,661 --> 00:58:19,639
- Mm-hmm.
1735
00:58:19,662 --> 00:58:22,006
- And right now,
I don't want any part of that.
1736
00:58:25,335 --> 00:58:26,814
- Very nice house.
1737
00:58:26,836 --> 00:58:28,144
- Thank you.
1738
00:58:28,171 --> 00:58:29,809
- You know,
can I just say something?
1739
00:58:29,839 --> 00:58:30,943
- Sure.
1740
00:58:30,974 --> 00:58:32,954
Just a-I just want to say...
- Mm-hmm.
1741
00:58:32,976 --> 00:58:36,355
- It is so nice of Marty
1742
00:58:36,379 --> 00:58:38,916
to let you have
this beautiful house
1743
00:58:38,948 --> 00:58:40,450
while he sits out there.
1744
00:58:40,483 --> 00:58:42,463
And I'm not saying
that you should feel guilty
1745
00:58:42,485 --> 00:58:43,463
or invite him in.
1746
00:58:43,486 --> 00:58:44,464
You're divorced.
1747
00:58:44,487 --> 00:58:45,795
I-you've-
however you've done it,
1748
00:58:45,822 --> 00:58:47,358
you've earned this place,
what have you, but-
1749
00:58:47,390 --> 00:58:49,063
- What are you
talking about?
1750
00:58:49,092 --> 00:58:51,572
I'm paying this house,
not him.
1751
00:58:51,594 --> 00:58:53,574
I'm letting him stay.
1752
00:58:53,596 --> 00:58:54,574
- You're letting him stay?
1753
00:58:54,597 --> 00:58:55,575
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
1754
00:58:55,598 --> 00:58:56,906
- Yeah-oh, wait.
I've gotta take this call.
1755
00:58:56,933 --> 00:58:58,935
- Hold on a sec, please.
- Okay.
1756
00:59:05,575 --> 00:59:06,553
[SIGHS]
1757
00:59:06,576 --> 00:59:07,953
[PHONE CONTINUES TO RING]
1758
00:59:19,756 --> 00:59:22,362
- Hey!
Um, today's not a good day.
1759
00:59:22,392 --> 00:59:23,530
- Oh, it's not?
All right.
1760
00:59:23,560 --> 00:59:25,870
Well, I appreciate
your time anyhow.
1761
00:59:25,895 --> 00:59:27,067
Thank you.
- You're welcome.
1762
00:59:27,096 --> 00:59:28,074
- Thank you very much.
1763
00:59:28,097 --> 00:59:29,508
I didn't mean
to bother you or anything.
1764
00:59:29,532 --> 00:59:30,738
- It's all right.
1765
00:59:31,634 --> 00:59:34,638
- So it's really important
to ice the shoulder
1766
00:59:34,671 --> 00:59:36,548
that you don't use as much?
1767
00:59:36,573 --> 00:59:37,551
- Oh, yeah.
1768
00:59:37,574 --> 00:59:39,611
Yeah, that's just as tired
as the throwing arm.
1769
00:59:39,642 --> 00:59:42,054
- Huh, all right.
You eat a lot of fruit?
1770
00:59:42,078 --> 00:59:44,058
- Oh, yeah, I love fruit.
In the morning, though.
1771
00:59:44,080 --> 00:59:46,219
- A lot of vegetables?
- Love veggies.
1772
00:59:46,249 --> 00:59:48,889
- Work out a lot?
- Every day.
1773
00:59:48,918 --> 00:59:51,228
- Yeah, I don't know
how you live like that.
1774
00:59:51,254 --> 00:59:52,358
- It's not for everybody.
1775
00:59:52,388 --> 00:59:54,231
- Yeah.
1776
00:59:54,257 --> 00:59:55,531
- Get it in!
Get it in!
1777
00:59:55,558 --> 00:59:57,265
- Come bring it over here!
1778
00:59:57,293 --> 00:59:58,431
- Coach Jimbo's got
something to say!
1779
00:59:58,461 --> 00:59:59,439
- Parents too!
1780
00:59:59,462 --> 01:00:00,532
- You going over to
the meeting?
1781
01:00:00,563 --> 01:00:01,541
- Yeah, we'll be there
in a minute.
1782
01:00:01,564 --> 01:00:02,565
- All right.
1783
01:00:03,566 --> 01:00:04,840
- Line 'em up!
1784
01:00:04,867 --> 01:00:07,313
- Line 'em up.
- Parents too, please!
1785
01:00:07,337 --> 01:00:09,146
- Parents, you understand?
Team parents.
1786
01:00:09,172 --> 01:00:11,049
Line up, parents!
1787
01:00:11,074 --> 01:00:13,384
Make a circle.
1788
01:00:13,409 --> 01:00:16,447
- I can't express to you
how important this Friday is.
1789
01:00:16,479 --> 01:00:17,549
- But he will!
1790
01:00:17,580 --> 01:00:21,084
- If we win Friday,
we get in the playoffs!
1791
01:00:21,117 --> 01:00:22,095
- Playoff time!
1792
01:00:22,118 --> 01:00:23,995
- If we don't win, we're out!
1793
01:00:24,020 --> 01:00:25,158
- We out!
1794
01:00:25,188 --> 01:00:27,099
- If we lose.
- If we lose.
1795
01:00:27,123 --> 01:00:28,625
- We're gonna win!
- But we gonna win.
1796
01:00:28,658 --> 01:00:29,762
- Here's what we're gonna do!
1797
01:00:29,792 --> 01:00:32,136
We don't have the field
before the game!
1798
01:00:32,161 --> 01:00:34,004
That means you gotta
practice at home!
1799
01:00:34,030 --> 01:00:35,475
That means, parents...
1800
01:00:35,498 --> 01:00:36,476
[SNAPS FINGERS]
1801
01:00:36,499 --> 01:00:38,376
Down to the batting cages!
1802
01:00:38,401 --> 01:00:40,745
And bring the kids
with you!
1803
01:00:40,770 --> 01:00:42,681
Three things:
1804
01:00:42,705 --> 01:00:45,049
No skateboarding.
1805
01:00:45,074 --> 01:00:46,712
No scootering.
- Please!
1806
01:00:46,743 --> 01:00:47,721
- No swimming.
1807
01:00:47,744 --> 01:00:49,985
But most importantly...
1808
01:00:50,013 --> 01:00:51,253
[WHISPERS]
No swimming.
1809
01:00:51,280 --> 01:00:53,726
- No baths!
- No swimming!
1810
01:00:53,750 --> 01:00:55,491
- Do not get in the water!
1811
01:00:55,518 --> 01:00:58,795
- Okay, I don't need
any injuries!
1812
01:00:58,821 --> 01:01:01,233
You can take a bath.
They can take a bath.
1813
01:01:01,257 --> 01:01:02,964
- Okay.
- But I'd prefer a shower.
1814
01:01:02,992 --> 01:01:04,835
- Don't submerge your body
underwater!
1815
01:01:04,861 --> 01:01:06,431
- That's right.
You can shower!
1816
01:01:06,462 --> 01:01:08,066
All right, you got
your marching orders!
1817
01:01:08,097 --> 01:01:09,542
Let's go!
Go Cubs!
1818
01:01:09,565 --> 01:01:11,670
- Go get 'em!
1819
01:01:11,701 --> 01:01:14,682
- Ah, I think I got through
to them.
1820
01:01:14,704 --> 01:01:15,682
Not sure.
1821
01:01:15,705 --> 01:01:16,683
- Hope so.
1822
01:01:16,706 --> 01:01:18,014
- They were listening.
Some of them weren't listening.
1823
01:01:18,041 --> 01:01:20,043
I'm gonna call,
follow up with an email...
1824
01:01:23,212 --> 01:01:25,715
- Hezekiah,
you have my word,
1825
01:01:25,748 --> 01:01:27,557
this is the last time
I'm gonna ask you.
1826
01:01:27,583 --> 01:01:30,359
But it would just mean
so much to me
1827
01:01:30,386 --> 01:01:31,956
if I could just spend
a minute with you.
1828
01:01:31,988 --> 01:01:34,298
Here, now-
just like, let's just talk.
1829
01:01:34,323 --> 01:01:35,768
Just for a minute.
1830
01:01:35,792 --> 01:01:37,794
- I couldn't even if
I wanted to.
1831
01:01:37,827 --> 01:01:40,137
I'm already talking to
somebody about a movie.
1832
01:01:40,163 --> 01:01:42,200
- You're talking to somebody
about a movie-who?
1833
01:01:42,231 --> 01:01:44,643
- Don't worry about it.
Somebody. People.
1834
01:01:44,667 --> 01:01:46,010
- Somebody on the team?
1835
01:01:46,035 --> 01:01:47,912
- I can't tell you that.
1836
01:01:47,937 --> 01:01:49,712
I can tell you
that Barnaby and I
1837
01:01:49,739 --> 01:01:51,741
are gonna be living
the high life.
1838
01:01:54,544 --> 01:01:56,182
- Okay.
1839
01:01:56,212 --> 01:01:58,385
- That's right.
Walk away.
1840
01:02:00,983 --> 01:02:02,519
- Baby, you're not breathing.
1841
01:02:02,552 --> 01:02:04,463
Ah! That's my-
that's a breathe. You see?
1842
01:02:04,487 --> 01:02:06,091
- Of course he's breathing.
He has to breathe.
1843
01:02:06,122 --> 01:02:07,897
What do you know
about baseball anyhow,
1844
01:02:07,924 --> 01:02:08,902
that you're telling him this?
1845
01:02:08,925 --> 01:02:09,903
- I know what I'm doing!
1846
01:02:09,926 --> 01:02:12,099
Jack, that's it, because
you're breathing, honey!
1847
01:02:12,128 --> 01:02:13,801
- Well, let me tell you this.
Hezekiah?
1848
01:02:13,830 --> 01:02:16,276
- Yeah.
- He's planning on a movie.
1849
01:02:16,299 --> 01:02:17,903
He's planning on making
a movie, come on!
1850
01:02:17,934 --> 01:02:20,881
- Oh, please, come on.
That's not important, Max.
1851
01:02:20,903 --> 01:02:23,281
It's just not.
This is what's important.
1852
01:02:23,306 --> 01:02:24,444
- All right, Jack.
1853
01:02:24,474 --> 01:02:27,011
What do you say after we're
done here, we go swimming?
1854
01:02:27,043 --> 01:02:28,351
- I'd love to go swimming!
1855
01:02:28,377 --> 01:02:29,720
- He'd love to go swimming!
1856
01:02:29,746 --> 01:02:31,419
- No swimming!
- Yes.
1857
01:02:31,447 --> 01:02:33,449
- No swimming, no swimming!
- Yes.
1858
01:02:40,223 --> 01:02:41,395
You go.
Your turn.
1859
01:02:41,424 --> 01:02:43,665
- Okay, okay.
1860
01:02:43,693 --> 01:02:45,639
- What?
- Enough. Good.
1861
01:02:45,661 --> 01:02:46,833
That's enough swimming.
Good.
1862
01:02:46,863 --> 01:02:49,366
- It's enough swimming?
We've hardly been in here.
1863
01:02:49,398 --> 01:02:51,378
- That's it!
- That's crazy.
1864
01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:53,505
- It's not crazy.
It's the coach's orders.
1865
01:02:53,536 --> 01:02:54,571
Everybody out of the pool!
1866
01:02:54,604 --> 01:02:57,949
- Can't you see that the coach's
orders make no sense whatsoever?
1867
01:02:57,974 --> 01:02:59,885
- I actually do not see that,
to tell you the truth.
1868
01:02:59,909 --> 01:03:01,388
I think they make
a lot of sense.
1869
01:03:01,410 --> 01:03:03,117
- What could possibly
happen to him?
1870
01:03:03,146 --> 01:03:04,682
- I'm just-
I'm supporting the coach.
1871
01:03:04,714 --> 01:03:05,692
What's wrong
with supporting the coach?
1872
01:03:05,715 --> 01:03:07,490
- Let me tell you something
about supporting the coach:
1873
01:03:07,517 --> 01:03:10,498
I just had a little talk
with Jack, okay?
1874
01:03:10,520 --> 01:03:12,022
And we have decided-
1875
01:03:12,054 --> 01:03:13,897
You're in agreement
with me, correct?
1876
01:03:13,923 --> 01:03:16,961
He is no longer going to keep
the baton his shoulder.
1877
01:03:16,993 --> 01:03:18,904
When he sees a pitch
he wants to hit,
1878
01:03:18,928 --> 01:03:20,305
he's going to swing away.
1879
01:03:20,329 --> 01:03:22,070
Is that correct sir?
- Yep.
1880
01:03:22,098 --> 01:03:24,408
- That is correct.
Did I force you to say that?
1881
01:03:24,433 --> 01:03:25,411
- No.
1882
01:03:25,434 --> 01:03:26,845
- Did I intimidate you
in anyway?
1883
01:03:26,869 --> 01:03:27,847
- No.
1884
01:03:27,870 --> 01:03:30,350
- Okay, your honor, I, uh-
- Max.
1885
01:03:30,373 --> 01:03:31,511
- I rest my case.
1886
01:03:31,541 --> 01:03:33,851
- You're teaching him
to go up against authority.
1887
01:03:33,876 --> 01:03:35,287
- You know what?
You're right.
1888
01:03:35,311 --> 01:03:36,915
I apologize.
1889
01:03:36,946 --> 01:03:40,985
Jack, you do not automatically
go up against authority.
1890
01:03:41,017 --> 01:03:42,462
But I'll tell you
something, man-
1891
01:03:42,485 --> 01:03:43,486
big lesson-
1892
01:03:43,519 --> 01:03:44,725
you're a little young
to bring it up,
1893
01:03:44,754 --> 01:03:45,892
but I'm gonna tell you
right now:
1894
01:03:45,922 --> 01:03:48,493
Question authority.
Question it constantly.
1895
01:03:48,524 --> 01:03:50,197
Question, question,
question.
1896
01:03:50,226 --> 01:03:51,933
I'll tell you something else:
1897
01:03:51,961 --> 01:03:56,432
He's more concerned with what
snacks they serve after a game.
1898
01:03:56,465 --> 01:03:57,967
That's right.
1899
01:03:58,000 --> 01:03:59,980
So let's say
you have a choice.
1900
01:04:00,002 --> 01:04:04,178
You can have cupcakes
for a snack after the game.
1901
01:04:04,207 --> 01:04:07,416
But if you do that,
your team loses 9-6,
1902
01:04:07,443 --> 01:04:09,548
or you guys win 9-6,
1903
01:04:09,579 --> 01:04:11,991
and you get celery.
1904
01:04:12,014 --> 01:04:13,687
Which would you choose?
1905
01:04:13,716 --> 01:04:15,787
- Lose and get a cupcake.
1906
01:04:15,818 --> 01:04:17,525
- Lose and get a cupcake!
1907
01:04:17,553 --> 01:04:18,531
- These are great
life lessons.
1908
01:04:18,554 --> 01:04:19,624
- I say that's the attitude
of a winner!
1909
01:04:19,655 --> 01:04:22,693
- Yeah, no, these are
just the greatest life lessons
1910
01:04:22,725 --> 01:04:23,703
you are teaching our son.
1911
01:04:23,726 --> 01:04:24,704
- And you know what?
1912
01:04:24,727 --> 01:04:26,570
I don't even want to do
this movie anymore.
1913
01:04:26,596 --> 01:04:27,870
No more research.
- Good!
1914
01:04:27,897 --> 01:04:30,537
- I just want to go
watch my son
1915
01:04:30,566 --> 01:04:32,512
have fun playing baseball.
1916
01:04:32,535 --> 01:04:34,344
- I want to watch our son too,
1917
01:04:34,370 --> 01:04:36,077
have fun, winning at baseball.
1918
01:04:36,105 --> 01:04:38,585
- I think it's actually rude
of us and wrong
1919
01:04:38,608 --> 01:04:40,212
to even watch him play.
1920
01:04:40,243 --> 01:04:42,348
I think the one thing kids
don't need to play baseball
1921
01:04:42,378 --> 01:04:43,584
is parents.
1922
01:04:43,613 --> 01:04:46,093
For parents-
one game a season.
1923
01:04:46,115 --> 01:04:47,753
They can call it
"Parents Game."
1924
01:04:47,783 --> 01:04:50,127
And the kids will know that
that game sucks.
1925
01:04:50,152 --> 01:04:52,132
And what are you gonna do
when parents can come?
1926
01:04:52,154 --> 01:04:55,158
- Jack,
your coach is your leader.
1927
01:04:55,191 --> 01:04:56,693
You have to respect
what he says.
1928
01:04:56,726 --> 01:04:57,704
- All right.
1929
01:04:57,727 --> 01:04:59,536
- If he tells you to keep
the baton your shoulder,
1930
01:04:59,562 --> 01:05:00,540
he knows how to win.
1931
01:05:00,563 --> 01:05:02,565
The coach knows
how to win, Jack.
1932
01:05:04,700 --> 01:05:06,646
- Oh, my God.
- Bring it in! Bring it in!
1933
01:05:06,669 --> 01:05:08,148
- Oh, my God.
- Everybody bring it in!
1934
01:05:08,170 --> 01:05:10,741
- What the hell's going on?
- Bring it!
1935
01:05:10,773 --> 01:05:12,013
- Gather round!
Gather round!
1936
01:05:12,041 --> 01:05:13,111
- Gather round!
1937
01:05:13,142 --> 01:05:14,120
- The coach is rolling in.
1938
01:05:14,143 --> 01:05:15,121
Are you all right?
1939
01:05:15,144 --> 01:05:17,124
- Not all right.
1940
01:05:17,146 --> 01:05:18,682
Uh, parents, take a knee.
1941
01:05:18,714 --> 01:05:20,523
Take a knee.
Parents, take a knee.
1942
01:05:20,549 --> 01:05:21,527
- Take a knee,
take a knee.
1943
01:05:21,550 --> 01:05:23,587
- If you don't mind,
I'm not gonna take a knee,
1944
01:05:23,619 --> 01:05:25,599
because I'll get pebbles
in there and it hurts.
1945
01:05:25,621 --> 01:05:27,100
I'll do it on the grass.
Not here, please.
1946
01:05:27,123 --> 01:05:28,966
- Okay, okay.
So listen.
1947
01:05:28,991 --> 01:05:30,595
We've got a challenge,
all right?
1948
01:05:30,626 --> 01:05:32,071
It's called a challenge.
1949
01:05:32,094 --> 01:05:35,769
I know that I told you
a few days ago, no swimming!
1950
01:05:35,798 --> 01:05:37,709
- He said no swimming
at all!
1951
01:05:37,733 --> 01:05:40,612
- Well, the other night,
I thought I'd take a quick dip.
1952
01:05:40,636 --> 01:05:42,980
- He dipped!
- No! No! No!
1953
01:05:43,005 --> 01:05:44,382
No swimming!
No swimming!
1954
01:05:44,407 --> 01:05:46,318
- I'm not proud of it.
- Ah!
1955
01:05:46,342 --> 01:05:47,514
- Coach is human.
1956
01:05:47,543 --> 01:05:49,079
That's what they learn today.
1957
01:05:49,111 --> 01:05:51,682
They find out I'm human.
I'm not a God.
1958
01:05:51,714 --> 01:05:53,352
I'm not perfect
like they thought.
1959
01:05:53,382 --> 01:05:55,225
- You know what I have to say?
Poof! Poof!
1960
01:05:55,251 --> 01:05:56,252
The game goes poof.
1961
01:05:56,285 --> 01:05:58,265
- Hey!
Coach's lesson.
1962
01:05:58,287 --> 01:05:59,823
- This is not
a coach's lesson.
1963
01:05:59,855 --> 01:06:01,391
- I hope it was worth it, Coach,
1964
01:06:01,424 --> 01:06:03,802
because this is
the most important day
1965
01:06:03,826 --> 01:06:05,772
of these kids' lives.
1966
01:06:05,795 --> 01:06:07,502
- It's a very important day
for all of us, Coach!
1967
01:06:07,530 --> 01:06:08,838
- And what are we gonna do
now, huh?
1968
01:06:08,864 --> 01:06:09,842
- Our kids don't win
this game today...
1969
01:06:09,865 --> 01:06:10,843
- Turn me around.
1970
01:06:10,866 --> 01:06:11,844
- They don't win the game
next week!
1971
01:06:11,867 --> 01:06:16,577
- I'm not looking at you until
you look at me with admiration!
1972
01:06:16,605 --> 01:06:17,583
- Fuck you!
1973
01:06:17,606 --> 01:06:19,176
- Don't you ever!
Ow!
1974
01:06:19,208 --> 01:06:20,448
Don't watch! Don't look!
1975
01:06:20,476 --> 01:06:22,478
- I will fight you!
- Don't look! Turn away!
1976
01:06:22,511 --> 01:06:23,922
- Turn around, turn around.
1977
01:06:23,946 --> 01:06:24,924
Moment of weakness.
1978
01:06:24,947 --> 01:06:26,483
- The children mustn't see the
coach in a moment of weakness!
1979
01:06:26,515 --> 01:06:28,995
- Turn around, kids.
- Everybody turn around.
1980
01:06:29,018 --> 01:06:30,156
- Play ball!
1981
01:06:30,186 --> 01:06:32,530
[INDISTINCT CROWD CHATTER]
1982
01:06:32,555 --> 01:06:33,898
Striii-iike!
1983
01:06:33,923 --> 01:06:34,958
- That's it!
1984
01:06:34,991 --> 01:06:36,834
- Way to go, Ricky!
- That's it, Manny!
1985
01:06:36,859 --> 01:06:37,837
- Thattaboy!
1986
01:06:37,860 --> 01:06:39,840
- The man is here!
What's going on out there?
1987
01:06:39,862 --> 01:06:41,842
You all good?
[CHUCKLES]
1988
01:06:41,864 --> 01:06:42,842
Man!
1989
01:06:42,865 --> 01:06:44,003
Hello.
- Oh, hi.
1990
01:06:44,033 --> 01:06:45,341
- How are you?
- I'm good. How are you?
1991
01:06:45,368 --> 01:06:48,281
- You enjoying your day today?
- Yeah, it's been fabulous.
1992
01:06:48,304 --> 01:06:49,874
- Everyday is fabulous, right?
- It is.
1993
01:06:49,905 --> 01:06:51,384
- Must be really nice
being sunshine.
1994
01:06:51,407 --> 01:06:52,385
- Yeah.
- Right?
1995
01:06:52,408 --> 01:06:53,386
- I am the sunshine.
1996
01:06:53,409 --> 01:06:54,683
- Ah! I should have
my dark shades on.
1997
01:06:54,710 --> 01:06:56,280
- Oh, yeah.
- [LAUGHS]
1998
01:06:56,312 --> 01:06:59,293
You know, a lot of guys
would see a lady like you
1999
01:06:59,315 --> 01:07:00,794
and go for a home run.
2000
01:07:00,816 --> 01:07:01,794
- Oh...
2001
01:07:01,817 --> 01:07:03,296
- You know what I
prefer to do?
2002
01:07:03,319 --> 01:07:04,957
I like hits.
- Yeah?
2003
01:07:04,987 --> 01:07:06,523
- Right?
Like getting on base.
2004
01:07:06,555 --> 01:07:07,533
- Mm-hmm.
2005
01:07:07,556 --> 01:07:09,536
- First base, second base,
third base.
2006
01:07:09,558 --> 01:07:11,094
- Mm-hmm.
- Load the bases up.
2007
01:07:11,127 --> 01:07:12,504
- And then what happens?
2008
01:07:12,528 --> 01:07:13,905
- I go for the home run.
2009
01:07:13,929 --> 01:07:14,907
[BAT HITTING BALL]
2010
01:07:14,930 --> 01:07:16,000
- Oh!
- I bring everybody home.
2011
01:07:16,032 --> 01:07:17,010
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
2012
01:07:17,033 --> 01:07:18,341
You like that idea?
- I love that idea.
2013
01:07:18,367 --> 01:07:19,641
- Hear that?
2014
01:07:19,668 --> 01:07:22,046
They're cheering for me
right now!
2015
01:07:22,071 --> 01:07:23,049
- Go Cubs!
2016
01:07:23,072 --> 01:07:24,050
- What did I miss?
2017
01:07:24,073 --> 01:07:26,053
- Oh!
The coach broke his leg!
2018
01:07:26,075 --> 01:07:28,248
- What?
- He showed up in a cast.
2019
01:07:28,277 --> 01:07:30,382
- A full body cast
up to his hip!
2020
01:07:30,413 --> 01:07:31,824
- Wait a minute-
- 'Cause he was swimming!
2021
01:07:31,847 --> 01:07:33,087
- He went swimming.
2022
01:07:33,115 --> 01:07:35,152
- The coach broke
his leg swimming?
2023
01:07:35,184 --> 01:07:36,288
- Yes!
2024
01:07:36,318 --> 01:07:37,456
- You're kidding, right?
2025
01:07:37,486 --> 01:07:38,794
- No.
No, we don't have a coach.
2026
01:07:38,821 --> 01:07:40,596
- After all that?
2027
01:07:40,623 --> 01:07:42,933
Oh, my God!
That's hysterical!
2028
01:07:42,958 --> 01:07:44,198
- No, it's not hysterical.
2029
01:07:44,226 --> 01:07:45,728
- It's the furthest thing
from hysterical!
2030
01:07:45,761 --> 01:07:48,571
We don't have a coach!
- Okay, I won't enjoy it.
2031
01:07:48,597 --> 01:07:50,474
- Ah!
2032
01:07:50,499 --> 01:07:53,503
Eyes forward!
Have you guys seen Coach Ted?
2033
01:07:53,536 --> 01:07:54,514
ALL: No!
2034
01:07:54,537 --> 01:07:55,515
- No, we haven't seen him
anywhere.
2035
01:07:55,538 --> 01:07:56,516
- We'd love to know
where he is.
2036
01:07:56,539 --> 01:07:58,075
- Ambrose,
can you cover first?
2037
01:07:58,107 --> 01:08:00,087
- It's gonna cost you, Coach.
- How much?
2038
01:08:00,109 --> 01:08:01,554
- Only $100.
2039
01:08:01,577 --> 01:08:02,715
- 100 bucks?
- Yep.
2040
01:08:02,745 --> 01:08:03,951
- No!
- [SCOFFS]
2041
01:08:03,979 --> 01:08:05,617
No!
- I'll do it.
2042
01:08:05,648 --> 01:08:07,457
- [EXHALES]
Women cannot coach!
2043
01:08:07,483 --> 01:08:09,258
Who else? [STAMMERING]
Who can cover first?
2044
01:08:09,285 --> 01:08:10,457
Come on!
- I can, Coach.
2045
01:08:10,486 --> 01:08:11,794
- No, not gonna happen.
Who else?
2046
01:08:11,821 --> 01:08:14,301
- I can coach,
but it has to be third base.
2047
01:08:14,323 --> 01:08:16,530
I've got to be the one
that flags the runners home.
2048
01:08:16,559 --> 01:08:18,505
- Not gonna happen.
Max, will you help me?
2049
01:08:18,527 --> 01:08:20,473
- No, no, I'm not
comfortable with doing it.
2050
01:08:20,496 --> 01:08:22,772
- I'm not a woman!
I can coach!
2051
01:08:22,798 --> 01:08:24,175
- No. No!
2052
01:08:24,200 --> 01:08:25,907
Max, get out there!
2053
01:08:25,935 --> 01:08:26,913
- [SIGHS]
2054
01:08:26,936 --> 01:08:30,543
All right,
I will coach first base.
2055
01:08:30,573 --> 01:08:32,678
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
2056
01:08:32,708 --> 01:08:34,346
Oh! Roger!
2057
01:08:35,978 --> 01:08:37,753
I'm spinning my wheels!
2058
01:08:37,780 --> 01:08:40,420
Get me some sand!
Get some sand!
2059
01:08:40,449 --> 01:08:42,725
- You make me sick
to my ass!
2060
01:08:44,253 --> 01:08:46,199
- I don't even know
what that means.
2061
01:08:46,222 --> 01:08:47,530
I don't.
2062
01:08:47,556 --> 01:08:50,162
- Wow, Max.
First base.
2063
01:08:50,192 --> 01:08:52,001
Big job.
Big job!
2064
01:08:52,027 --> 01:08:54,337
- Come on, hustle!
Hustle, Max!
2065
01:08:54,363 --> 01:08:55,899
- [CLEARS THROAT]
2066
01:08:55,931 --> 01:08:57,239
- Sorry, Blue.
2067
01:08:57,266 --> 01:08:59,769
Come on!
Get in position!
2068
01:08:59,802 --> 01:09:01,304
Replacement coach.
2069
01:09:01,337 --> 01:09:03,908
No, no.
Too close to the base!
2070
01:09:03,939 --> 01:09:05,680
Rule book.
3 feet.
2071
01:09:05,708 --> 01:09:08,518
Watch me.
Watch me!
2072
01:09:08,544 --> 01:09:10,182
All right, Jack!
2073
01:09:10,212 --> 01:09:11,350
- All right.
2074
01:09:11,380 --> 01:09:13,121
- All right, Jackie!
Rest that bat!
2075
01:09:13,149 --> 01:09:15,151
Just don't-
don't try anything!
2076
01:09:16,485 --> 01:09:18,294
- Striii-iiike!
2077
01:09:18,320 --> 01:09:19,663
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
2078
01:09:19,688 --> 01:09:21,793
- That was a beauty.
He should have swung!
2079
01:09:21,824 --> 01:09:23,360
- You know, he-
he's got a strategy.
2080
01:09:23,392 --> 01:09:25,303
He's-he's doing what
the coach is telling him.
2081
01:09:25,327 --> 01:09:26,863
- That's right!
And that is a good thing!
2082
01:09:26,896 --> 01:09:28,432
- That's a very good thing.
- Good thing.
2083
01:09:28,464 --> 01:09:30,137
- No, no swinging.
2084
01:09:30,166 --> 01:09:31,736
- Strii-iiike!
2085
01:09:31,767 --> 01:09:32,905
- Number two, Jack.
2086
01:09:32,935 --> 01:09:34,915
- All right, all right.
- That's okay.
2087
01:09:34,937 --> 01:09:35,915
[APPLAUSE]
2088
01:09:35,938 --> 01:09:36,916
- That's great, Jack!
2089
01:09:36,939 --> 01:09:38,680
- Eyes here!
- Elbows up!
2090
01:09:38,707 --> 01:09:40,345
- Eyes here, Max!
2091
01:09:40,376 --> 01:09:42,686
- Strii-iike three!
2092
01:09:42,711 --> 01:09:44,850
- Oh!
- Way to go, Way to g I O.
2093
01:09:44,880 --> 01:09:45,858
That's all right!
2094
01:09:45,881 --> 01:09:47,121
- It was a beautiful pitch!
- That's okay!
2095
01:09:47,149 --> 01:09:48,822
- That is okay, baby!
- Jack, it's all right!
2096
01:09:48,851 --> 01:09:51,161
- Why didn't he swing?
- All right, hold on! Stevie!
2097
01:09:51,187 --> 01:09:52,257
- That's okay.
- Stevie!
2098
01:09:52,288 --> 01:09:54,268
There you go!
- Come on, Stevie!
2099
01:09:54,290 --> 01:09:56,361
- Hush, hush, hush, hush.
Let him concentrate.
2100
01:09:56,392 --> 01:09:58,394
- Swing away!
- Come on!
2101
01:10:01,830 --> 01:10:03,707
- There's a ball!
2102
01:10:03,732 --> 01:10:06,440
- Yeah, that's the way!
- Good eye, good eye!
2103
01:10:06,468 --> 01:10:07,640
- That's the way!
Good eye, good eye.
2104
01:10:07,670 --> 01:10:09,308
- Swing away!
2105
01:10:09,338 --> 01:10:10,316
- Ball!
2106
01:10:10,339 --> 01:10:11,317
- There you go.
2107
01:10:11,340 --> 01:10:13,479
Way to keep an eye
on the ball, son!
2108
01:10:13,509 --> 01:10:14,988
There you go!
- Come on, honey!
2109
01:10:15,010 --> 01:10:16,751
- What? What?
2110
01:10:16,779 --> 01:10:18,315
He called it right.
2111
01:10:18,347 --> 01:10:20,554
- Ball three!
- Very good.
2112
01:10:20,583 --> 01:10:22,085
- Very good, son!
- Let him pitch to you!
2113
01:10:22,117 --> 01:10:23,494
Let him pitch to you!
- Don't worry!
2114
01:10:23,519 --> 01:10:25,123
You let him throw you
a good pitch, huh?
2115
01:10:25,154 --> 01:10:26,258
- I don't even think
he's aware of the ball.
2116
01:10:26,288 --> 01:10:27,266
- The guy can't throw.
2117
01:10:27,289 --> 01:10:28,267
- Ball four!
2118
01:10:28,290 --> 01:10:29,268
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
2119
01:10:29,291 --> 01:10:30,269
- Take your base.
2120
01:10:30,292 --> 01:10:31,896
- Take your base!
Take your base!
2121
01:10:31,927 --> 01:10:34,567
Take your base!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
2122
01:10:34,597 --> 01:10:36,770
You're on base!
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
2123
01:10:36,799 --> 01:10:38,369
- Take your base!
- You're on base!
2124
01:10:38,400 --> 01:10:39,879
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- You earned it!
2125
01:10:39,902 --> 01:10:41,882
- You're on base!
- Good eyes, Blue!
2126
01:10:41,904 --> 01:10:44,578
- Good job, good job.
It's just like a hit.
2127
01:10:44,607 --> 01:10:46,143
Just like a hit, Steven.
- Thank you.
2128
01:10:46,175 --> 01:10:47,586
- Okay,
here's how you do this...
2129
01:10:47,610 --> 01:10:48,850
- Sir,
do not touch the child!
2130
01:10:48,877 --> 01:10:49,855
- Don't touch him!
2131
01:10:49,878 --> 01:10:52,222
- Do not touch the child!
- Don't touch the kid!
2132
01:10:52,248 --> 01:10:53,226
- Do not touch the child!
- Don't touch him!
2133
01:10:53,249 --> 01:10:54,694
- What?
- You can't touch the child.
2134
01:10:54,717 --> 01:10:56,822
- Rule book!
Page 37!
2135
01:10:56,852 --> 01:10:59,332
- Okay, I won't touch him!
- No touching.
2136
01:10:59,355 --> 01:11:02,495
- Okay, so take as big
a lead as you want.
2137
01:11:02,524 --> 01:11:04,902
When he throws the ball,
have fun.
2138
01:11:04,927 --> 01:11:06,907
- Okay.
- Steal if you feel like it.
2139
01:11:06,929 --> 01:11:08,408
Have you stolen before?
- No.
2140
01:11:08,430 --> 01:11:10,410
- Then today's the day.
- All right.
2141
01:11:10,432 --> 01:11:13,413
[UPBEAT JAZZY MUSIC]
2142
01:11:13,435 --> 01:11:21,445
♪♪
2143
01:12:02,184 --> 01:12:03,322
- [MUMBLING]
Let's do this!
2144
01:12:03,352 --> 01:12:06,128
Eyes forward!
Listen up!
2145
01:12:06,155 --> 01:12:08,465
Seriously,
has anyone seen Coach Ted?
2146
01:12:09,625 --> 01:12:10,660
Have you seen him?
2147
01:12:10,693 --> 01:12:11,865
ALL: No.
2148
01:12:12,928 --> 01:12:15,135
- Gan!
[SIGHS]
2149
01:12:15,164 --> 01:12:17,166
All right, fine.
Listen...
2150
01:12:17,933 --> 01:12:19,469
This is it.
[EXHALES]
2151
01:12:19,501 --> 01:12:21,139
Last inning.
Last at bat.
2152
01:12:21,170 --> 01:12:22,911
We're down by one.
2153
01:12:22,938 --> 01:12:25,578
If we don't win this,
we don't go to the playoffs.
2154
01:12:25,607 --> 01:12:27,177
And if we don't go
to the playoffs,
2155
01:12:27,209 --> 01:12:30,952
it's like we didn't
even exist!
2156
01:12:31,513 --> 01:12:33,550
There will be no monument
to you.
2157
01:12:33,582 --> 01:12:35,118
There will be no tribute.
2158
01:12:35,150 --> 01:12:37,426
No one will sing
your name in a song!
2159
01:12:37,453 --> 01:12:38,864
We're smoke.
2160
01:12:38,887 --> 01:12:40,423
[IMITATES THE WIND]
2161
01:12:40,456 --> 01:12:43,164
We're nil.
Think about that.
2162
01:12:43,192 --> 01:12:46,799
Get out there
and play your pants off!
2163
01:12:46,829 --> 01:12:48,809
[MUMBLING]
Let's go!
2164
01:12:48,831 --> 01:12:50,708
Can you-
Get me out!
2165
01:12:50,733 --> 01:12:52,212
Push me!
2166
01:12:52,234 --> 01:12:53,645
Owww!
2167
01:12:53,669 --> 01:12:55,478
[MUMBLING]
2168
01:12:55,504 --> 01:12:57,814
They gotta have posts
everywhere!
2169
01:12:57,840 --> 01:12:59,251
- Let's go, Coach,
Get your batter up!
2170
01:12:59,274 --> 01:13:00,412
Get your batter up!
- Let's go, let's go!
2171
01:13:00,442 --> 01:13:02,149
Okey dokey,
here we go-key!
2172
01:13:02,177 --> 01:13:04,657
- Get your batter in the box!
- Max, watch me, okay?
2173
01:13:04,680 --> 01:13:06,660
I am-I'm watching you.
What.
2174
01:13:06,682 --> 01:13:08,662
- Pitcher!
- No batter, pitch it!
2175
01:13:08,684 --> 01:13:10,561
- What?
Huh?
2176
01:13:10,586 --> 01:13:11,724
What are-
What are you doing?
2177
01:13:11,754 --> 01:13:13,131
- Striii-ike!
2178
01:13:13,155 --> 01:13:14,793
- Batter! We need a batter!
- What?
2179
01:13:14,823 --> 01:13:17,133
- Batter! Batter!
- Who's up? Who's up?
2180
01:13:17,159 --> 01:13:18,763
You can't throw
to no batter.
2181
01:13:18,794 --> 01:13:19,772
- We need to have
somebody out there.
2182
01:13:19,795 --> 01:13:21,035
- Strii-iiike!
2183
01:13:21,063 --> 01:13:23,065
- No!
Barnaby, get out there!
2184
01:13:23,098 --> 01:13:24,236
Now!
2185
01:13:24,266 --> 01:13:25,768
[EXCITED CROWD CHATTER]
2186
01:13:25,801 --> 01:13:27,974
Come on, you're down two!
2187
01:13:28,003 --> 01:13:29,983
- Barnaby,
don't swing at it!
2188
01:13:30,005 --> 01:13:31,575
- Only if it's good, kid.
2189
01:13:31,607 --> 01:13:32,585
- Fundamentals!
2190
01:13:32,608 --> 01:13:34,383
- Strii-iiike three!
2191
01:13:34,410 --> 01:13:36,151
- Good day, sir!
2192
01:13:36,178 --> 01:13:39,159
- Come on, use your eyes!
- Max, watch me!
2193
01:13:39,181 --> 01:13:40,159
- I'm watching you!
2194
01:13:40,182 --> 01:13:41,160
- I want you to send 'em around.
2195
01:13:41,183 --> 01:13:42,161
- I've spent the whole time
watching you!
2196
01:13:42,184 --> 01:13:43,162
I don't get it!
2197
01:13:43,185 --> 01:13:45,187
I'm not getting this
"watch me" stuff.
2198
01:13:48,690 --> 01:13:50,499
- Fundamentals!
2199
01:13:50,526 --> 01:13:53,370
- Strike three!
Good day, sir!
2200
01:13:53,395 --> 01:13:54,533
- Weak!
Weak!
2201
01:13:54,563 --> 01:13:55,541
- Good try.
2202
01:13:55,564 --> 01:13:57,771
- All right, well now
we're in a big hole!
2203
01:13:57,800 --> 01:13:59,507
- A weak at-bat!
- All right, Bennett!
2204
01:13:59,535 --> 01:14:01,913
- Bennett!
- Yes!
2205
01:14:01,937 --> 01:14:03,939
- Batter up!
Here we go!
2206
01:14:03,972 --> 01:14:05,974
- Here we go.
- Two down!
2207
01:14:08,076 --> 01:14:09,020
[LOUD CHEERING]
2208
01:14:09,044 --> 01:14:11,024
- Go, go, go!
2209
01:14:11,046 --> 01:14:12,650
- Hold up, hold up, hold up.
2210
01:14:12,681 --> 01:14:14,092
- In your face, pitcher!
2211
01:14:14,116 --> 01:14:15,618
- Get a good lead.
Get a good lead.
2212
01:14:15,651 --> 01:14:16,629
As soon as he throws it.
- In your face!
2213
01:14:16,652 --> 01:14:18,461
- All right, Manny!
- Whoo!
2214
01:14:18,487 --> 01:14:19,795
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
2215
01:14:19,822 --> 01:14:21,324
- Keep your elbows up!
2216
01:14:22,925 --> 01:14:24,165
- Come on, use your eyes!
2217
01:14:24,193 --> 01:14:25,501
- Breathe, Manny!
Breathe!
2218
01:14:25,527 --> 01:14:28,098
- Swing for the fences!
- Two down, two down!
2219
01:14:28,130 --> 01:14:29,473
- Go, go, go!
2220
01:14:29,498 --> 01:14:32,604
- Let's go, let's go,
let's go!
2221
01:14:32,634 --> 01:14:34,011
Hold up, hold up!
2222
01:14:34,036 --> 01:14:36,016
Hold it up!
Hold it up!
2223
01:14:36,038 --> 01:14:37,016
- All right.
2224
01:14:37,039 --> 01:14:38,017
- Keep your foot
on that base.
2225
01:14:38,040 --> 01:14:39,144
- Great job, Manny!
2226
01:14:39,174 --> 01:14:40,278
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
2227
01:14:40,309 --> 01:14:43,119
- My God, did you see that?
How was that?
2228
01:14:43,145 --> 01:14:46,388
- Ah, Jack.
[CLICKS TONGUE]
2229
01:14:46,415 --> 01:14:48,417
[WHISPERING]
Let's go, Jack.
2230
01:14:50,285 --> 01:14:52,595
[SIGHS DEEPLY]
2231
01:14:52,621 --> 01:14:54,623
[WHOOSHING SOUND]
2232
01:14:59,294 --> 01:15:01,399
- What am I doing here?
- [CHUCKLES]
2233
01:15:01,430 --> 01:15:02,408
- What the hell?
2234
01:15:02,431 --> 01:15:03,808
I don't want to be
involved in this shit.
2235
01:15:03,832 --> 01:15:06,142
- Oh, come on.
You love it.
2236
01:15:07,135 --> 01:15:09,581
- I love the boy.
And I love baseball.
2237
01:15:09,605 --> 01:15:12,211
I don't know
that I love this shit.
2238
01:15:12,241 --> 01:15:13,584
[LOUD SIGH]
2239
01:15:13,609 --> 01:15:14,986
- You're doing great.
2240
01:15:16,712 --> 01:15:19,625
- Well, thanks.
Thanks a lot.
2241
01:15:19,648 --> 01:15:20,956
I'm gonna be okay.
2242
01:15:20,983 --> 01:15:23,122
I'll do it.
I can do it.
2243
01:15:23,151 --> 01:15:24,653
Nothing to freak out about.
2244
01:15:24,686 --> 01:15:25,664
[WHOOSHING SOUND]
2245
01:15:25,687 --> 01:15:27,098
[APPLAUSE]
2246
01:15:27,122 --> 01:15:28,362
- Rest the bat!
2247
01:15:28,390 --> 01:15:31,132
Like we talked about, Jack!
2248
01:15:31,159 --> 01:15:33,503
- Stri-iiike!
2249
01:15:33,529 --> 01:15:34,974
- Just swing.
2250
01:15:34,997 --> 01:15:35,941
- No swinging!
2251
01:15:35,964 --> 01:15:37,966
Keep the bat
on your shoulder!
2252
01:15:39,568 --> 01:15:41,309
- Strii-iiike two!
2253
01:15:41,336 --> 01:15:43,475
- Oh, come on!
2254
01:15:45,541 --> 01:15:47,145
- [WHISPERING]
Swing.
2255
01:15:49,211 --> 01:15:50,485
- I can't watch.
2256
01:15:50,512 --> 01:15:52,014
- Remember
what we talked about!
2257
01:15:52,047 --> 01:15:53,720
Keep the bat
on your shoulder.
2258
01:15:53,749 --> 01:15:55,524
Rest the bat, Jack.
2259
01:15:55,551 --> 01:15:57,121
Pray for a walk here.
2260
01:15:57,152 --> 01:15:58,995
- Hey, Jack!
2261
01:15:59,021 --> 01:16:01,262
Two down!
2262
01:16:01,290 --> 01:16:04,294
[WILD CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
2263
01:16:09,865 --> 01:16:11,242
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
2264
01:16:11,266 --> 01:16:13,075
- No, don't touch him!
2265
01:16:13,101 --> 01:16:14,944
- He's out!
2266
01:16:14,970 --> 01:16:16,313
- What?
- Out!
2267
01:16:16,338 --> 01:16:17,817
I told you not to touch
the child!
2268
01:16:17,839 --> 01:16:19,250
The Cubs forfeit!
A's win!
2269
01:16:19,274 --> 01:16:20,514
Good day, sir!
2270
01:16:20,542 --> 01:16:22,317
- What?
- Out!
2271
01:16:22,344 --> 01:16:23,414
- No!
- What's happening?
2272
01:16:23,445 --> 01:16:25,015
- No touching the child!
He's out!
2273
01:16:25,047 --> 01:16:26,549
- What are you
talking about?
2274
01:16:26,582 --> 01:16:28,152
That's my son!
2275
01:16:28,183 --> 01:16:29,423
- I warned you.
Do not touch the child!
2276
01:16:29,451 --> 01:16:30,896
- He hasn't gotten a hit
all season!
2277
01:16:30,919 --> 01:16:31,897
We hugged!
2278
01:16:31,920 --> 01:16:33,058
- I said, "Don't touch him!"
- They already scored!
2279
01:16:33,088 --> 01:16:34,123
- I warned you
not to touch the child!
2280
01:16:34,156 --> 01:16:35,134
- What do you mean
you warned me?
2281
01:16:35,157 --> 01:16:37,899
- You touched the child!
Cubs forfeit. A's win!
2282
01:16:37,926 --> 01:16:39,234
- That's crazy!
2283
01:16:40,829 --> 01:16:42,433
You know what?
You're a fucking idiot!
2284
01:16:42,464 --> 01:16:43,534
You're a fucking idiot!
2285
01:16:43,565 --> 01:16:45,010
What the fuck
are you talking about?
2286
01:16:45,033 --> 01:16:47,013
- You-you're not allowed
to touch the child, sir!
2287
01:16:47,035 --> 01:16:49,777
- You hugged the child!
- I hugged the child?
2288
01:16:49,805 --> 01:16:51,751
What the fuck's wrong
with you?
2289
01:16:51,773 --> 01:16:52,911
You know
who needs a hug?
2290
01:16:52,941 --> 01:16:54,921
You do, you fucking
piece of shit umpire!
2291
01:16:54,943 --> 01:16:56,854
You need a hug!
That's right!
2292
01:16:56,878 --> 01:16:58,448
[LAUGHING CRAZILY]
2293
01:16:58,480 --> 01:16:59,788
[GRUNTING ANGRILY]
2294
01:16:59,815 --> 01:17:01,351
Who needs a hug?
You!
2295
01:17:01,383 --> 01:17:04,592
You accident-prone,
swimming-fearing,
2296
01:17:04,620 --> 01:17:06,327
locksmith brother-hating,
2297
01:17:06,355 --> 01:17:08,596
copy-making piece of shit
motherfucker!
2298
01:17:08,624 --> 01:17:09,967
You! You!
2299
01:17:09,992 --> 01:17:12,632
You need a hug!
Fuck you!
2300
01:17:12,661 --> 01:17:13,731
Who are you?
2301
01:17:13,762 --> 01:17:15,571
I got no clue who you are!
2302
01:17:15,597 --> 01:17:17,235
You're a parent
from the other team!
2303
01:17:17,265 --> 01:17:18,243
That's who you are!
2304
01:17:18,266 --> 01:17:20,576
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
2305
01:17:20,602 --> 01:17:21,580
Ha!
2306
01:17:21,603 --> 01:17:23,480
[WHISPERING]
You fuckers, you fuckers.
2307
01:17:23,505 --> 01:17:24,984
You ruined everything
for me!
2308
01:17:25,007 --> 01:17:26,577
Fuck you!
Fuck all of you.
2309
01:17:26,608 --> 01:17:29,020
Fuck all of you.
You, you!
2310
01:17:29,044 --> 01:17:31,581
You-you
Soldier of Fortune hiding-
2311
01:17:31,613 --> 01:17:33,149
He reads Soldier of Fortune!
2312
01:17:33,181 --> 01:17:34,660
He reads Soldier of Fortune!
2313
01:17:34,683 --> 01:17:36,458
I love ya!
I love ya!
2314
01:17:36,485 --> 01:17:38,260
[LAUGHING CRAZILY]
2315
01:17:38,286 --> 01:17:40,732
I love ya!
Oh!
2316
01:17:40,756 --> 01:17:41,757
And look at you guys.
2317
01:17:41,790 --> 01:17:42,962
What are you all
uptight for?
2318
01:17:42,991 --> 01:17:44,595
You're always
so fucking happy!
2319
01:17:44,626 --> 01:17:46,606
Look at you!
Always got something to say!
2320
01:17:46,628 --> 01:17:47,732
You know what you two
should do?
2321
01:17:47,763 --> 01:17:49,868
You two should fuck!
That's right!
2322
01:17:49,898 --> 01:17:52,208
The two of you
should be pumping away.
2323
01:17:52,234 --> 01:17:53,212
Pumping away!
2324
01:17:53,235 --> 01:17:55,476
How's this
for an instructional video?
2325
01:17:55,504 --> 01:17:57,177
You cocksucker!
2326
01:17:57,205 --> 01:17:59,446
Let daddy squeeze
the lesbian out of you!
2327
01:17:59,474 --> 01:18:01,454
[WHISPERING] I know
you don't have any money.
2328
01:18:01,476 --> 01:18:04,355
And, uh, it's okay.
Just be yourself.
2329
01:18:04,379 --> 01:18:05,357
People accept you.
2330
01:18:05,380 --> 01:18:07,018
You don't need to have
a lot of money for that.
2331
01:18:07,049 --> 01:18:10,326
I'm not gonna hug ya!
I'm not gonna hug ya!
2332
01:18:10,352 --> 01:18:12,332
'Cause you're not wearing
a shirt!
2333
01:18:12,354 --> 01:18:15,892
Nanny goat! Nanny goat!
Rah, rah, rah!
2334
01:18:15,924 --> 01:18:18,461
At night,
I jizz on the field!
2335
01:18:18,493 --> 01:18:20,336
I jizz all over the field!
2336
01:18:20,362 --> 01:18:23,343
This is for all the married men
everywhere.
2337
01:18:23,365 --> 01:18:24,469
Here's what I'm gonna do.
2338
01:18:24,499 --> 01:18:27,070
Oh, yes! Oh, yes!
Whoo-wee!
2339
01:18:27,102 --> 01:18:30,106
[LAUGHING MADLY AND GASPING]
2340
01:18:47,723 --> 01:18:49,725
What was I thinking?
2341
01:18:58,567 --> 01:19:01,548
[CHEERFUL JAZZY MUSIC]
2342
01:19:01,570 --> 01:19:09,580
♪♪
2343
01:20:39,301 --> 01:20:41,645
[ROCK MUSIC]
2344
01:20:41,670 --> 01:20:50,317
♪♪
2345
01:20:50,345 --> 01:20:53,349
♪ Calm me down
when I'm obsessed ♪
2346
01:20:53,381 --> 01:20:56,521
♪ Calm me down
when I'm evil ♪
2347
01:20:56,551 --> 01:20:59,589
♪ Calm me down ♪
2348
01:20:59,621 --> 01:21:02,693
♪ Calm me down
when I'm reject ♪
2349
01:21:02,724 --> 01:21:05,762
♪ Calm me down
when I'm riled ♪
2350
01:21:05,794 --> 01:21:11,608
♪ Calm me down,
calm me down ♪
2351
01:21:11,633 --> 01:21:15,581
♪ Calm me down ♪
2352
01:21:15,604 --> 01:21:19,017
♪ Hey, everybody shiny
and sunny ♪
2353
01:21:19,040 --> 01:21:22,078
♪ Nobody cloudy
and rainy ♪
2354
01:21:22,110 --> 01:21:24,556
♪ Good friends
making good money ♪
2355
01:21:24,579 --> 01:21:27,560
♪ Getting me all fired up
and ready ♪
2356
01:21:27,582 --> 01:21:30,722
♪ Calm me down
when I'm excessed ♪
2357
01:21:30,752 --> 01:21:33,699
♪ Calm me down
when I'm wolf man ♪
2358
01:21:33,722 --> 01:21:36,828
♪ Calm me down ♪
2359
01:21:36,858 --> 01:21:39,964
♪ Calm me down
when I'm stupid ♪
2360
01:21:39,995 --> 01:21:43,101
♪ Calm me down
when I'm genius ♪
2361
01:21:43,131 --> 01:21:49,343
♪ Calm me down,
calm me down ♪
2362
01:21:49,371 --> 01:21:52,716
♪ Calm me down ♪
2363
01:21:52,741 --> 01:21:56,086
♪ Hey, I don't want
to wake up in the morning ♪
2364
01:21:56,111 --> 01:21:59,285
♪ Head all cloudy
and rainy ♪
2365
01:21:59,314 --> 01:22:02,318
♪ I don't want to come on
in the evening ♪
2366
01:22:02,350 --> 01:22:04,796
♪ Same thing,
different day ♪
2367
01:22:04,819 --> 01:22:07,493
♪ Calm me down ♪
2368
01:22:07,522 --> 01:22:11,800
♪ Shh, down ♪
2369
01:22:11,826 --> 01:22:14,534
♪ Down ♪
2370
01:22:14,562 --> 01:22:18,066
♪ Shh, down ♪
2371
01:22:18,099 --> 01:22:21,137
♪ Down ♪
2372
01:22:21,169 --> 01:22:24,343
♪ Shh, down ♪
2373
01:22:24,372 --> 01:22:27,444
♪ Down ♪
2374
01:22:27,475 --> 01:22:33,482
♪ Down, yeah ♪
2375
01:22:33,515 --> 01:22:39,329
♪♪
2376
01:22:39,354 --> 01:22:45,498
♪ Calm me down,
calm me down ♪
2377
01:22:45,527 --> 01:22:49,236
♪ Calm me down ♪
2378
01:22:49,264 --> 01:22:51,266
♪ Get away, get away,
get away right now ♪
2379
01:22:51,299 --> 01:22:52,607
♪ Get away ♪
2380
01:22:52,634 --> 01:22:54,238
♪ Get away, get away,
get away right now ♪
2381
01:22:54,269 --> 01:22:56,215
♪ Get away, get away ♪
2382
01:22:56,237 --> 01:22:58,615
♪ Get away, get away, get away ♪
2383
01:22:58,640 --> 01:23:01,519
♪ Get away, get away,
get away ♪
2384
01:23:01,543 --> 01:23:02,521
♪ Okay ♪
2385
01:23:02,544 --> 01:23:10,554
♪♪
2386
01:23:13,321 --> 01:23:14,994
♪ Calm me down ♪
2387
01:23:37,045 --> 01:23:40,219
[METALLIC TAPE MEASURE CRACKLING]171042
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