All language subtitles for Celebrity.IOU.S09E03.1080p.WEB.h264-FREQUENCY_[English] (SUBRIP)

[Jonathan]
From her Emmy award-winning
stand-up specials

where she's known to shock,

to household favorites
like School of Rock,

Sarah Silverman
never shies away

from her signature brand
of comedy.

But on this show,
she promises to hold back

a little
because the focus is on Amy,

a woman
who has been instrumental

in Sarah's life
for the past 25 years.

Here is the kitchen.

A lot of stuff is faulty.

[Jonathan] While Amy
is out of town working...

She wanted to update it but...

Let's wreck it!

she kind of put everything
into buying it.

Yeah!

You gotta do it deeper.
It wasn't scary enough.

-[yells]
-That's better.

[Jonathan]
Sarah has decided to do
a little work of her own.

-Oh, nice. That was fast.
-Done.

See how fast you're getting?

[Jonathan] To surprise
her best friend...

[Drew] Nice.

I mean, I'm terrified.
I hope she loves it.

[Jonathan] or at least
go out trying.

♪♪ Sexy brothers, three
The three of us ♪

I was at your place

and I may have broken
something.

I mean, I think what I broke
is fixable.

[Amy] What is happening
right now?

[singer]
♪♪ All right ♪

[rock music playing]

[Drew] I'm a dad.
I have two kids.

And so my jokes
are all just dad jokes.

-Yeah.
-What did the...

What did the zero
say to the eight?

-Nice belt.
-Yes.

-I love that one.
-Yes.

That's one of my favorites.

[Drew] So you're saying
I have a potential

-career in stand-up?
-[Sarah] No.

-[Jonathan] Well...
-Oh, okay.

You have a potential career
as a dad.

[Drew] Are you a comedian
that needs to really prep,

or are you somebody
that's really, really good

with improv
and in-the-moment comedy?

I write jokes, I write bits,

and I try to prepare.

But there's only
so much you can prepare,

like, just at home in front
of a mirror, you know.

-[Drew] Yeah.
-You need the audience
to help.

[Drew] I also love the fact
you're the only person

I've ever met
who has won an Emmy

for [bleep] Matt Damon.

Do you like to make up songs

with just comedic,
funny lyrics?

[Sarah] I used to do a lot.

I used to, you know,
bring the guitar

on the road
and sing songs from...

You know, I...
My first specials.

[Drew] Okay. So I...
I'd like to learn

a little bit more about Amy.

It sounds like you and Amy
have known each other

for decades.

She's my better half.

As she says, we are...

We are Elliott and ET
because we're so alike

in so many ways
but also extremely different.

You know,
she bought this townhouse.

It's beautiful,

but it's been

a little bit

of a debate of her existence.

She's been dreaming
of doing renovations

for a while.

And, uh, so I'm hoping

that this is a really
great surprise.

[Drew] And how are we gonna
pull this off, by the way?

Is she around or...

She's out...
She's out of town.

I assume you have the keys?

-Yeah. I have the keys.
-[Drew] Yeah.

-Right here?
-Yes, it's right here.

-Yeah.
-[Drew] It's time.

Are you nervous?

Yeah, I'm terrified.

I was paired with Amy.

I didn't know her.

It was July of 2001,

innocent times.

I get on the phone with her

and I was a total [bleep].

But she still agreed
to work with me.

And I was so impressed.

I remember thinking...
You know,
I'm just a few years

older than her but I'm like,

"Look at this whippersnapper.
Oh, my God."

I want her in my life.

Is it a good idea
to give your keys

to Sarah Silverman?

House party!

Amy's not just my manager.

She...
She's my emergency contact.

She's the most responsible
person in my life.

[lively music playing]

In 2016, I almost died.

I had an abscess
on the top of my windpipe.

I got rushed in
to the hospital.

I had no idea that...
What was going on.

They told Amy
I had a 50/50 chance

of surviving the surgery.

Amy was just right there.

My dad and my stepmother,
Janice,

died last May

and, you know, Amy was there.

I would head home
at night exhausted

and completely depleted.

She was always the first call
I made driving home.

We share a lot of our parts

and our personal lives
with each other.

And she's just a rock,
you know.

We've really become...
In Jewish, we say mishpachah.

You know, it's like family

but it's like
the family you make.

She is that. She's family.
She's my sister.

Okay. This is...
Here is the kitchen.

[Drew] It's big.

[Sarah] It's big, yeah.

I just love her
so much and I...

To be able
to get to do something

like this is awesome.

She loves it.

She moved here
a few years ago.

She was so excited to buy.

This is her first...

The first place
she's ever owned

and she's waited, you know,

20 years of working
to get this.

She owns it and she loves it,

but there are certain elements
of it that are,

like, the bane
of her existence.

A lot of stuff isn't working
or is faulty.

[Jonathan] Is it the fridge,
you said,

-is falling apart or...
-Yeah. Oh, don't touch it.

-Just kidding.
-[laughter]

[Sarah] She's got
all these appliances

that came with the house
that are just...

Don't work, broken, or faulty

or, you know,
like, broken down.

The floors make her so sad
because she's so anal,

such a perfectionist
and it's just...

You see every scratch,
every mark.

She would hate my boots
pick up every rock
from outside.

So I always have...

[Sarah]
Her biggest fear is that,

she was like,
"A friend came over

and they had a pebble
in their shoe

and you could just see
everywhere they walked."

[Drew] She needs something
that's a very natural,

like, wood tone
that if you scrape it,

it actually
just adds character.

Yeah.

[Jonathan] At first glance,
the kitchen looks like

it's in good shape.

But when you look closely,
it was definitely constructed

with low-quality,
builder-grade finishes

that are not aging
well at all.

And the dark hardwood floors,
every nick and scratch shows

because it's been painted
black and not very well.

One thing I am noticing,

I mean, it looks like
the cabinets are,

you know, solid wood doors and
maybe there's a quality there.

But in reality, like,

there's not much
you could do with this.

The cabinet...
And some of them actually--

-Look at these handles.
-They're in pretty
rough shape.

[Sarah] How do you even open
these well?

[Jonathan] Is that how you
open a cabinet?

You can see
there's a lot of damage.

Down here,
there's water damage here.

-So I feel like...
-Oh, yeah. Wow.

getting these out
and actually bringing in

high-quality cabinets,
high-quality countertops...

Oh, my gosh.
She's gonna be so happy.

She wanted to update it,
but she'd kind of

put everything into buying it.

If you had to describe
what her aesthetic is,

what would it be?

I would say, um,

Queen Elizabeth meets Mr. T.

What? Sorry.

-"I pity the queen!"
-Her home style.

-[Drew] Oh.
-Oh.

And she kind of got
design paralysis.

She likes, like,
a mid-century modern,

clean, kind of
natural materials...

-Okay.
-and just brighter

and she loves this...
What's this called,

-an island?
-The bar countertop?

[Sarah] The bar.
But it's like...

You know, it's like
she's small and it's...

-It's at her chin?
-It's really high up.

It would be great for her
to just be able to...

If it's possible, truly relax.

I want her to be
so comfortable in it

and feel good about it.

Some people like
that totally open concept

in a flow between the spaces
so they would get rid

of something like this
but she wanna keep this here.

[Sarah] No.
She wants to keep it,

you know,
but it would be great

if it was a little lower.

She could work at it,
you know.

[Jonathan] Maybe some places
to tuck things away.

I always hate it
when you come in

and you got your router
and your internet and all.

She hates it too.

It's like she wants to clean,
you know.

Yeah, right.

[Sarah] She has an office
but, you know,

half the time
she's working from home.

The kitchen, the dining room
are her office.

The backsplash
being the stainless steel,

this is
a very commercial look.

Do you think she likes that,
or would she like something

that has a tile or personality
that's lighter?

I mean, just something
that's more cohesive

to whatever you do in here,
you know, that...

-Sorry.
-Oh, my God.

We'll put soft-close
cabinet doors and--

Elizabeth,
I'm coming to join you.

-[laughter]
-All right.

[Drew]
Does she really like wine?

Because this
is what would annoy me

having to have an appliance

on the counter like this
for wine.

She does love wine.

But I mean, is there something
where it could be under or...

-Yeah.
-Yeah. Well, there is...

She's already got one here
but it's full.

I think we could do two.

She's in that space a lot

for a lot
of different reasons.

Are we going around
or are we going over?

Come on. You're an athlete.

-It's so high.
-Oh, see?

-Don't help me.
-I told you there's a problem

with this height.

[Sarah] And it would be great

if the space
would be more conducive

to all of those things.

[Jonathan] So how
does she use the space

and what would
make life easier?

Well, I know
she loves this table,

but it's so narrow.

It doesn't fit enough people.

Like, I know
she likes to entertain.

[Jonathan]
She probably bought it
because it looks amazing,

but it's not very practical.

This is so narrow and it...

She just can't fit the people
that she needs.

And this is nice
as decorative,

but it could be something
maybe that's more

useful,
like a dry bar,
is that what it's called?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just...
So no plumbing. Just...

It's just a bar setup. Yeah.

I think after all these years,

I know what she wants,

but we have
very different styles.

So I'm trying to channel her.

What about, like, beams?

And I think I'm doing it.

I think I'm doing a good job.

Like, beams on the ceiling

that we just kind of bring...

-Yeah.
-Oh, just an aesthetic thing,

like, there wouldn't be
real beams,

just for a beautiful look?

It wouldn't really
be holding up the house.

I love the look of beams
and I just think,

you know, she likes, like,

natural but elegant things.

[Drew] I love the height.

The ceiling height in here
is amazing.

If you can get this done,
it would be incredible.

These are amazing ideas
and I feel like

she's wanting to do things
and she just...

She has like design paralysis,
you know.

And it's hard for her
to give up any control.

So those... That's...
Those aren't...

Those two things
are incompatible.

-So, I'm taking control.
-Can you maybe just

sing us a song
about how it'll make her feel?

About design paralysis?

[Sarah] I'm really nervous.

I'm excited because

Property Brothers are...

You know, they're them.

This is gonna set the tone
for the whole reno.

♪♪ And she has a place
But she isn't happy ♪

♪♪ She likes the space
But it's kind of ♪

♪♪ Just too much for her
To handle ♪

♪♪ And I'm gonna take care
Of it Amy ♪

♪♪ You and me and you
And you, and me ♪

♪♪ Sexy brothers, three
The three of us ♪

♪♪ The three of we ♪

Property Brothers
and the Property Sis.

-We're gonna make
this thing happen.
-Oh, my God.

-It's gonna bliss.
-I really could be
your sister,

-don't you think?
-I could write the lyrics.

She's back in five weeks.

This, we could do it
in five weeks.

Yes, as long as we start,
like, tomorrow.

-Can you help?
-Yes.

She wouldn't know
how to go about a lot of it.

And she's so busy, you know.

And so, here she is.

She's gone
for five weeks working

and this is a perfect chance
to do it.

She's gonna love it
or it will be the end of us.

We'll find out.

I love her so much.

[upbeat music playing]

[thudding]

Ooh! Oh, my God.

Holy [bleep].

You know, it's great to have

a healthy place
to put any kind of...

misplaced rage, say,
from your childhood.

One, two, three.

Fingers.

Yes.

-Nice job.
-[growls]

-How's it feel?
-High five.

[laughs]

It feels powerful.

Mm.

You know, I've been wondering
what this is in me.

And I don't know
what's come over me.

But it's fun for me.

Oh.

You have like
karate technique here.

-Really?
-Just like...

[yells]

Like Bruce Lee.

We call him Drews Lee.

Yeah. Look at you.

[bleep] you.

Just gives me a real thrill.

Oorah!

Whoa.

Oh, my God.

[Jonathan] You don't have
to swing too hard.

-[Sarah] Woo!
-Oh!

And that's what I felt
when I was smashing things

with that sledgehammer.

One, two, three.
Let's wreck it!

[upbeat music playing]

Woo!

One, two, three.

Yeah!

[grunts]

-[grunts]
-[grunts]

You gotta do it deeper.
It wasn't scary enough.

-[deep grunt]
-[Jonathan] That's better.

It's invigorating.
I am also terrified.

Now there's no going back.

Like, her place is ruined.

Can we just clarify?
You ruined her place.

I mean, I helped.

I just did what I was told.

The good thing is,
you gotta break it a little

before you can build it up
better and--

Right. Build back better.

It's the first time
I ever did demo.

I hope it's not the last.

One, two, three.

The moonwalk.

I just wanna smash things.

-One sec.
-Something's broken.

It was great.

It felt good
and I was tired after.

[Drew] Lift your weight up,
pull the trigger,

and then ease it down
and then start going.

[power saw whirring]

You know, it's like they say
go punch a pillow.

No, go demolish a house
and you'll feel good.

[upbeat music playing]

[Jonathan] Day two
and the rest of demo
was going well.

And then we hit a major snag.

We discovered
the subfloor was damaged.

So we're applying
new self-leveling concrete

to the surface
to correct the problem.

This sets the schedule
back a few days

and we're gonna need
to claw that back

before Amy returns
in five weeks.

In the meantime, Sarah and I
have our work cut out.

[Sarah] Oh, my gosh.
Look at this.

[Jonathan] Selecting
the perfect finishes for Amy.

-Write you a gift.
-Oh, thank you.

[Sarah]
I hear you're a real pig.

Get in there. Get in there.
Get in there.

I'll see if these are good.

-Mmm-hmm.
-All right. We have work.

I mean, I'm terrified
because she's very particular.

So, mm.

-Mm. Mm.
-Mm.

You know, she's a woman

who really knows
what she wants.

What do you wanna start with?

We have a lot of decisions
to make from flooring,

cabinets, countertops.

What is this?
What are these for?

Uh, well those are floors.
These are counters.

So, why don't we start
with floors?

'Cause we're talking about
how we wanna do floors

all the way through.

-[Sarah] Oh, my God.
-We are going to brighten

this whole place up

because right now
everything feels so dark.

Even if we wanted to keep
a little bit of a darker tone,

if she does like
a little color to it,

I would still
recommend something

that just looks kind of
more like a mid-tone.

We can even go lighter
than that.

I like... I mean,
'cause this is great

and this is like
way more forgiving.

-Oh, yeah.
-Like, dusts, scratches,

a stone in your shoe,
or whatever.

It's like... It's just life.

This is more like
made-for-life stuffs.

-Yeah.
-I feel like.

-And it's beautiful.
-It is.

And the imperfections
are what make it beautiful

and that's great in a floor.

Which is also
great personal advice.

Yeah.

Your imperfections
are what make you perfect.

That's right.
Is that what someone told you?

-Yeah, my therapist.
-[Sarah] It's beautiful.

I think it will just
be really... I think.

[Jonathan] If I was just
choosing for my own home

and especially knowing
the aesthetic that she wants,

this would be the color
I would go with for sure.

If you wanna go with
a slightly narrower board,

the other thing
we could look at

is potentially doing a pattern

instead of just a straight way
of the boards.

We could do herringbone
or we can do chevron.

We could do
any number of things.

-I think this would really...
-Herringbone?

look pretty in a herringbone.

-I think so too.
-Yeah. Okay.

Great. I love it. All right.

-So then we'll go with...
-Done.

that for our flooring.

Um, let's talk cabinets.

So cabinets, we can do
any number of things.

We can do a beautiful
modern shaker...

[Sarah] Oh, that's pretty.

[Jonathan] if we paint it out.

You said that
she loves wood tones.

We wouldn't want it to just
look like a wash of wood.

So I think the stone
is gonna be very important

to break up the wood

-that we have.
-Yes.

But if you did something
like this,

and we can get this in any
number of colors as well.

-This is--
-[Sarah] That's wood?

[Jonathan] It is.
It's a rift-sawn wood.

The way they cut it
and assemble it,

they basically
get rid of the knots.

I've done so many
of these kitchens

and they are stunning.

[Sarah] Yeah,
that's beautiful.

[Jonathan]
And I can test it out.
We can try it.

We can try it with slab style.

We can try it with,
you know, thin border.

I'll draw it and see
what it looks like.

I used to date a foot guy.
And--

What does that mean?
What was that, a podiatrist?

No, no. Like he just likes
to see the feet

and that's what
he'd called them.

He'd be like,
"Let me see those slabs."

So you're having a flashback.

Was that a good experience
for you

or was it a strange experience
for you?

It was strange and wonderful.

Should we take a look?

I mean,
it's really nothing special.

Now I'm embarrassed.

What if it has like schmutz
in between?

[Jonathan] You tell me...

I mean, talk to--

You know who you are.

Oh, yours are much better
than my slabs. [laughs]

[Sarah] No,
you got great slabs.

What size slab do you have?

-Eight and a half.
-Okay. That's cute.

-Flaccid.
-[Jonathan laughs]

It's strange.
It grows to a 10.

-[Sarah] Yeah.
-That's really weird.

I've never heard of that.

All right. This got weird.

Usually it's Drew
that makes everything weird.

I really...
It's really important to me

that you guys
keep all the footage of us

putting our shoes back on.

It's gonna make
this show longer,

but trust me, what else?

What else do we have
to cover here?

-Oh, we're talking
about slabs.
-Oh, right.

So, because there would be
a lot of wood

with the hardwood floors,
with the cabinets,

we need to break that up.

And so the countertops
are very important.

-What we want to--
-Oh, my God.

I know what she likes.

I can't believe
I remember this.

Is there a thing called...

terrazzo or something?

Terrazzo. Yeah.

-Terrazzo.
-Terrazzo.

That's a kind of slab, right?

-But it has like chunks or...
-Well, it's...

Exactly. So it kind of looks
almost like concrete

but then it's got
actual sediment in it.

We can... Yeah.
That would be--

I'm so proud of myself.
I'm sorry.

I know she loves that.

100%. That would look amazing
with this cabinetry.

With chic custom details

and quality finishes
like this,

we're off to a great start.

We'll create
a one-of-a-kind cooking space

that Amy
has always dreamed of.

We'll start by replacing
Amy's least favorite part

of the home,
the black-painted floors.

We'll swap in light
engineered hardwood flooring

that will not only
brighten the space

but laid in a sophisticated
herringbone pattern

that will bring
a chic custom look.

Sarah says
Amy has always wanted that.

If we can lose the bulkheads,

we'll continue
the custom look

with premium quality
solid wood cabinets

all the way to the ceiling,
and panel-ready appliances

and a range hood
that will blend seamlessly
into the design.

Amy has always wanted
terrazzo counters,

so we'll up the ante
and not only use it

on the countertops
but on the backsplash

and island as well.

Terrazzo will also top
a new custom bar

between the kitchen
and dining room

that will feature storage,
stools, and new wine fridges

to house Amy's
full collection.

She can comfortably
use the divider as a desk

when she works from home

or a luxe lounging bar
for entertaining.

Over in the dining room,

we'll transform
the wall niche

to flex both as a dry bar

and as additional storage.

While a new more functional

smoked alder wood
dining table

will wow
up to eight seated guests

at her weekly dinner parties.

And finally, the faux beams
across the kitchen

and dining spaces
will help transform

Amy's builder-grade townhouse

into the personalized home
she's always dreamed of.

You know what? Have a cookie.

You know what? The cookie
I ate is just hitting me now.

I really think
their vision for this

with all the information
I gave them and, you know,

it's gonna be right on.

These are really good.

But I also just really like
the fact

that I can blame them
if things go awry.

♪♪ Baby ♪

♪♪ I see you walking
In the city ♪

[Drew] We're nearing the end
of our first week

and with the electrical
and plumbing rough ends

getting started,
we're exactly where we need

to be with one big exception.

Originally we wanted
to remove the bulkhead

above the range and fridge,

take the cabinets all the way
up to the ceiling.

But as it turns out,

we can't move
the utilities inside,

so we're gonna have
to tweak the design

to include the bulkhead.

Today I'm gonna meet
with our cabinet maker Joe...

It's a bit of a puzzle.

...to update him
on the change.

And then we're gonna make
some decisions

about what type of wood
for the cabinet.

Sarah says that Amy
would love a wood kitchen.

-Okay.
-But I don't want to have

white oak cabinets,
white oak floors.

It's gonna become
all matchy-matchy

and it's gonna look terrible.

The aesthetic we want
on the front of the panel
is nice and clean.

[Joe] This is a birch plywood.

It's too wavy and it has
too much color variation.

Wood can go
so many different ways.

You can see the knots
and imperfections.

It can have a cabin
in the woods kind of a feel.

Or we could go super
clean and modern.

But we wanted something
in between.

[Joe] Thought about this
for a while

and I came across
this material.

And I think this will give it
a really nice contrast.

-[Drew] Oh, that's nice.
-[Joe] This is called
quartered maple.

-That's nice.
-And you could see,

it's got the little
tiny flakes in it.

It's gonna give it
some character.

The lines are going through
it nice and even.

And then in some cases,
you're gonna have little bits

of just some variation
of the grain going down.

-It's very subtle.
-No, I like it.

I love how subtle this is.

And this material
being light in color already,

you can go a nice honey
gold color, a honey brown

and pick up some
really nice tones with it.

I think this is the winner.

Do you have enough
of this here?

-I don't.
-Oh.

The last supplier I talked to

had five sheets of it,

and so I'm gonna have
to call around

quite a few places to find it.

Because here's the thing,
though,

is if you know one supplier
that only has five sheets,

how many sheets
would you need?

I would need about 12 sheets
for this project.

Hopefully,
you can find by running around

enough to do
the entire project.

So my job is gonna be
to figure out the stain,

because we wanna make sure
it doesn't get too honey.

We don't wanna get
too yellow, or...

-[Joe] Right.
-golden.

[Drew] We also don't want it
to look too modern, so...

All right.

I will work on the stain.

You're gonna source
like a beast.

-I feel good. Thanks so much.
-All right. Thank you.

-Good luck finding
the rest of this.
-All right.

[upbeat music playing]

[Drew] A huge week
at the townhouse,

as the drywall team wraps up,

the flooring team
is tagging in

and Amy's gonna be
much happier

with the look of this
mid-tone oak floors.

They'll resist showing
every nick and scratch

like your old floors.

And the herringbone pattern,

that's gonna give her space
that custom look.

It's something
Amy's always wanted.

And on the cabinet front,

Joe has pulled off
a small miracle

and he found
all the quarter sawn maple

we could possibly need.

His team is busy
manufacturing the cabinet

so we can actually start
install in seven days.

[rock music playing]

[drill humming]

[Drew] Jonathan's out of town.

So Sarah
is my property sister.

-You okay?
-Yeah.

She is in here going
full throttle

and she means business.

-Oh.
-How's it going?

-Oh.
-Ah.

Do you need a tall
left-handed guy to help you

-with that one screw?
-Yes. Oh, my God.

-Are you left-handed?
-If only we could find one.

'Cause I feel like
I was putting it in

a little bit diagonal.

-Yeah. That's good.
-And Amy will notice.

You know,
it's really coming together.

I can't believe how much
y'all are having me do.

It's so pretty.

Which feels irresponsible.

So I think
this is gonna give her

a really beautiful
mid-century feel.

I was chatting
with our cabinetmaker

and he went
to 15 different lumberyards

to find this wood.

[Sarah] I think
she's gonna love it.

It's unique, like Amy herself.

I mean, I love what you did
because it...

Now it just looks like
everything has a purpose

and then it will just have
a stain, like a light... Yeah.

So right now, like,
this is a bit too light

for that mid-century feel.

We're not going
for a dark stain.

It's gonna be sort of
a lighter mid-tone.

-Yeah.
-And it's gonna be stunning.

Oh, my God. It's gorgeous.

This could become very dark
in here,

because you don't have
a lotta natural light

-pouring in over here.
-[Sarah] Right.

So we wanna make sure
it's something

that doesn't start to feel
like that dark creepy cabin.

Unless that's what she likes.

That's what I like,
but it's not what she likes.

-Okay.
-This is gonna be so great.

The kitchen is now
completely custom,

built for her.

It looks so beautiful

and she's gonna have so much
more function on top of it.

You know, she hates clutter

and we came in,
there was, like,

all her mail, all her stuff.

So this is gonna be amazing
because it's...

She's got drawers with
all this organizing stuff.

And then this...

-These faux drawers
over here...
-Yeah, for the router.

where she can keep
all her router

and all that stuff that
just doesn't look good out.

She's gonna love that.

Everything in here, it's just
solid function for her.

And then she'll have
her two wine fridges,

she'll have a little bit
of seating area here as well,

'cause I know
that was important to her.

Yeah. She does a lot
of just work right here

outta the kitchen.

It's just gonna be so sleek...

-Yeah.
-and she likes that.

Keep working.
More high shelves.

I only just recently noticed

Jonathan wasn't here,

and that's probably
not a good sign.

But, you know, we got
through it really just fine.

He's a pretty face, sure,
but we already have one.

Literally
a carbon copy of him.

Why do we need two?

♪♪ All right
Whoa, oh ♪

♪♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

[Drew] It's the top
of the fourth week

and Jonathan
has been delayed,

so he's still out of town.

So Sarah's lending
an extra hand

until he returns.

-Boop. Done.
-Oh, nice. That was fast.

See how fast
you're getting with this?

-It's pretty good.
-Hold this.

Everything counts.

So while we're waiting
for the countertops

to be templated,

we're putting in
these faux beams.

-There we go.
-Now you're like, "Faux beams?

Why not use real beams?"

'Cause real beams hold up
a structure.

So the fact that there were
not beams there before

makes these beams faux beams.

They're not holding up
the house.

[Drew] Nice.

They're just there for beauty
and they look amazing.

[tinkles]

Okay. Can you take
the poles here

and put them underneath

so we can hold this in place?

Okay.

All right. Perfect.

All right.
If you turn, it'll tighten.

Yeah. Keep going
until it's too tight to turn.

All right.
I think we're bending it now.

You're so strong.

-Right up the top here...
-Yeah.

just below,
like, give yourself,

like, half inch off.

That's that cleat
that you just put in,

-that piece of wood.
-Oh.

[Drew] We're nailing into
the side of that.

You push it in, fire,

move over a foot,
push it in, fire.

-It's so satisfying.
-[Drew] Yeah, yeah.

So it's just like that.

So you just push it in

and then
you pull the trigger once.

Yeah. All right.

Nice. Gotta do a foot over.

-That's good.
-It's so pretty.

These beams,
the alder wood is amazing.

It looks awesome.

It's gonna actually blend
nicely with the table.

The dining table
will be the same, so.

And also, the way the beams
are coming across,

it's creating purpose

with some of these weird
jut outs and bulkheads.

It actually makes it
look cool.

All right. Back to nailing.

So adhes... Oh.

[upbeat music playing]

[singer] ♪♪ Ready or not ♪

[Drew] Another day and another
renovating Amy's townhouse.

The terrazzo has arrived

and the new countertop
and backsplash

will not only give
this kitchen a new fresh look

but it's gonna make this
dramatically brighter,

the entire space.

-It's coming this way.
-[singer] ♪♪ Ready or not ♪

This is one of those things
where if you break this,

our timeline is shot.

Oh. Well, be careful, then.

The countertop is gorgeous.

I know you said
that Amy loves terrazzo.

This is a terrazzo?

Amy loves it.

So I was very excited
to remember that

and to incorporate it
into the kitchen.

It's heavy.

I was not a part
of the team lifting it.

So we have
a four-inch profile here

and we'll do
a one-and-a-half-inch profile

on all the perimeter
countertops.

Of the same?

Yeah. It's just gonna
be a little skinnier.

So, which is nice

because it just adds
one extra element.

If everything's
matchy, matchy, matchy,

it doesn't feel like
a beautiful unique kitchen.

No.

[Drew] Terrazzo brought to you

by Sarah Silverman.

You know how like when you
drop gum over the years

on the pavement
on the street and then it...

Car runs over it
and flattens it,

and then over the years,

it just becomes
a part of the street.

I love it.

That doesn't make it sound
that good,

but it's kind of, like, that.

It's, like, all these elements
brought together.

Oh, my gosh.

It's really beautiful.

I was at your place

and I may have
broken something.

I mean, I think what I broke
is fixable.

[Amy]
What's happening right now?

♪♪ Yeah ♪

[Drew] We know
we're in the home stretch

when the trim and paint
is going on the walls.

Today, we're focusing
on the dining room.

Like a lot of folks, Amy
spends part of her week

working from home

and her dining room
has to flex as a home office.

This is so much better
for Amy,

'cause I know she had that
free standing file cabinet

she probably used while
she was working at the table.

But now it can tuck away.

It's on wheels
and you don't even see it.

That's a... This is...
So she had a file cabinet.

Now she has this,

am I using this word right,
bespoke cabinet?

Sure. Yes. This is
a bespoke file cabinet.

I looked it up.
I think it means like,

you know, made special.

Yeah. Specially customized
just for her.

-This is a custom?
-Absolutely.

I... The idea that she can
actually have people over

and entertain as a dining room
and that's tucked away

so it looks integrated into
the storage area over here,

but then she can pull it out
and use it as an office

if she wants to,
when she needs to.

Oh, my...
And this is the same wood

as the cabinet wood?

This will be, yeah.

So we'll make sure
that this matches up

to the cabinets
in the kitchen.

All right.
Let's slide this in.

Do you wanna screw
the upper cabinet in

-and I'll hold it?
-Do I?

Repeating the same wood

with the bespoke file cabinet

and the cabinet above it,
it's so beautiful.

This floor is gorgeous.

I love wood.

Everybody could be wood.

The herringbone pattern
is stunning.

And we could've just carried
that pattern straight through

to the front hall
as you walk in.

But because Amy is stylish

and she's different
and you want unique,

we decided to do
a nice little brass inlay

so you can see it right there.

Oh, my gosh.
I love this detail.

It's such
a tiny little detail,

but those are the things
she loves

and I know
she's gonna notice it.

She's someone who deals
with every detail of my life

and I'm so excited
to be able to, like,

deal with every detail
of this townhouse for her.

I feel like...
It's so funny to me

because I bet you,
she is someone that's, like...

The way that she pries
in every aspect of your life,

because she manages you,

to have you do that to her
probably would drive her nuts.

Yes.

It's very stressful.

The last thing I wanna do
is disappoint her.

She sees everything.

That's why
she is a great manager.

That's also why
it is terrifying.

It's why
I wanna do this for her

and why
I'm so scared about it.

But the fact
that she has no say,

'cause she's not even here,

you get to do this,
it's kinda fun.

Yeah. It's best
that she doesn't see

how the sausage is made.

I hope she loves it.

[rock music playing]

[Drew] It's crunch time.

With just a few days to go,

we're powering through
our final punch list.

I am really happy
with the mid-tone stain

we picked
for the maple cabinets.

It's such a fine line
to balance

from cabin feels
to more uber modern feel

to something mid-century.

But I think we have hit
the right balance.

[rock music playing]

[Drew]
With the cabinets finished,

all that's left
are appliances

and a few final touches.

It's been a race
to the finish line.

And of course, now that all
the heavy lifting is done,

Jonathan's back.

-Okay. So, yeah.
-[Sarah] Oh, my God.

[Jonathan]
Don't drop the fixture.

-[Drew laughs]
-No pressure.

[Sarah]
Am I getting this right?

Oh, gosh.
You're doing better than me.

I hate dropping this.

Yeah. Just, uh, get that up
nice and tight.

I think she's gonna love this.

It's modern
but it's warm, you know?

-[Drew] Yeah.
-I'm losing my mind.

There's... There are
little bits of Styrofoam

in these domes
and I keep installing them,

and then I see them and
I have to take it back off.

[Sarah] I love the style
and the function.

Like, where so much stuff
was on her countertops

and she's a very
organized anal person.

It's just that easy.

You can feel, like,
a sparkle in my tooth.

-[Jonathan]
You do make it look--
-It's just that easy.

-[Jonathan laughs]
-Ding.

The dining room
is coming along so great.

All right. You ready?
One, two, three.

Set back on the light.

-All right.
-Great.

It's so cohesive
with the whole place.

You know, between the beams
and the countertop

and all the shelving and
the new stuff, and the wood.

It's so cool just watching it
all come together.

I just can't believe
the transformation, you know?

-[Jonathan] It's wild.
-[Drew] All right.

So, we need to have a plan

for how she comes
back to the house,

'cause you said she's
coming back tomorrow, right?

Yeah. I'm picking her up
at the airport

and then
I'm gonna drive her home

and I'm gonna tell her
that I was in her house

and I may have broken
something.

She'll be like, "What?"

And I'll be like, "I don't
think it's an heirloom."

Is there something that
she's really precious about

that you'd be like,
"That light fixture

-in the dining room?"
-Everything.

I... Everything? Okay.

This is actually
one of the ones,

'cause you had told us

how she loves
to hold the reins.

-Yes. Yeah.
-And she's in control of all.

I... It always makes me
a little bit nervous

when somebody is,
for lack of a better terms,

-a lovable control freak.
-Yeah.

Then they come in and
like, did we get it right?

And when you look around,
do you think we got it right?

-I do.
-And now,

we need to get ourselves
across the finish line,

-'cause if you're bringing
her back tomorrow...
-Yes.

we gotta get done.

-I will see you guys later.
-I'll go get the ladder.

-All right.
-Bye.

I'll take the elevator
with the ladder.

♪♪ One, two,
Three, let's go ♪

♪♪ Here we go wild, wild ♪

♪♪ Here we go
Wild, wild, wah! ♪

Um, I was at your place,

um, and I may have
broken something.

Um, but I wanna show it
to you just in case.

I don't...
I don't think it's, like,

a family heirloom
or anything, but...

Is it my Ming vase?

-[laughs]
-It's your Fa Berger egg.

[laugh] Okay. No worries.

[Sarah] It's very stressful.

The last thing I wanna do
is disappoint her.

What's mine is yours.

-Yeah, right.
-Yours is mine, but 10% of it.

She sees everything.
She sees every detail.

She sees every mistake.

When I drop you off,
I'll just go in and we'll...

-Picking me up
at the airport...
-I'll show you.

probably made up
for whatever loss there was.

I... Who picks people up
at the airport anymore,

-by the way?
-I mean, we have a lot
to talk about.

-This guy.
-It's been a minute.

I know.

And so that's also why
it is terrifying.

It... It's why
I wanna do this for her

and why I'm so scared
about it.

-You got it? Let me help you.
-I just...

-Really?
-Come on.
Princess for the day.

[laughs]

What do you have in here?
Your weights?

-I know.
-I was... I'm very excited.

I hope she loves it.

I mean, I think
what I broke is fixable.

Oh, my God.
What is happening right now?

Oh, my... [laughs]

I mean, I think
what I broke is fixable.

Oh, my God.
What is happening right now?

Oh, my God. It's beautiful.

This does not
look like my kitchen.

[laughter]

[Sarah] We changed some things
and I got some help.

I didn't do it alone.

[Drew] Oh.

You guys. I'm like...

I'm pretty flabbergasted
right now.

It's really stunning.

Yes? Yay. [sighs]

When we were driving,
I was so nervous.

I... All of a sudden,
it washed over me.

Like, what have we done?

[Amy] I kind of was in shock

and I wasn't
anticipating that.

So, it... I had to take it in
for a minute.

[Jonathan]
This is a one-of-a-kind
custom kitchen

-that hopefully screams you.
-I can't believe this is mine.

Wow.

And Sarah kept pushing
and saying,

"It has to be perfect.
It has to be perfect."

And I hope she wasn't wrong.

Sarah said you like terrazzo.

[Amy] I've been wanting
terrazzo counters

since I moved in.

The counters were
those black counters.

The first thing I noticed
was how much brighter it is.

This is so beautiful.

Because the dark countertops
with the dark floors

made my kitchen feel kind of
cavernous and dungeon-like.

Did you see my floors?

-[Jonathan] Oh.
-[Drew] Oh, we all.

We ripped them out.

[Sarah] We smashed them.

People will walk in,

and if they don't
comment first

on the herringbone floors,

they're gonna comment
on the countertop.

Oh, yeah. That was a surprise.

[Drew] Yeah.

[Amy] I am so obsessed
with this.

-[Jonathan] Yeah. I love...
-[Amy] It's just such
a gorgeous detail.

The rims are seamless,
but it gives some separation.

[Drew] Exactly. Yeah.

I love brass.
I'm obviously a gold person.

I do love
all the brass details.

And I think that it's got,
like, kind of a golden...

It glows. It sort of
feels glowy, in a way.
And I like that.

In reality, I'm not joking.

She gave so much input

and she was here
from ripping things down

to picking the materials.

She was up on top of counters.

She put in the upper cabinet.
She did the beam work.

-Literally, everything.
-Beams.

-[Jonathan] Yes.
-[Drew] Yes.

[Amy] I love a beam.
So pretty.

[Sarah]
That's such a nice florist.

And I know you loved
your wine. Um...

-I didn't even... Oh, my gosh.
-Fridge.

But they put in a double...
This fits how many?

[Drew] Fifty-eight
bottles of wine.

When we came in,

you could see that you are
an organized person

and you were trying to make
the best use of the space.

However, before, with,

instead of having all of
the clutter on top here,

we just wanted to add a little
bit more organization for you

-with your drawers.
-Look at this [indistinct]

This mail, this is so great

because, you know,
when you get your mail,

you never have anywhere
to put your mail.

You even have
little touches too.

Like, there's a power bar all
the way across the back here.

-So if you have a laptop...
-[Amy] Oh, my gosh.

[Jonathan] working here,
whatever you need.

-[Amy] Yes.
-[Sarah] You have wires out.

-Your fridge is hidden away.
-I just...

You know that my fridge
was on the fritz.

Mmm-hmm.
Now you have a new one.

Oh, my God. I never...
We don't have a...

-We didn't have a pantry.
-You have pantry.

By the way, I love your
grandparents' dishes.

-My mother's... My parents'
wedding dishes.
-Your mom's?

They're from the '60s.

It had a very
mid-century feel,

which I noticed right away,
which I love.

Wow. [indistinct]

I think it was very
thoughtfully-appointed.

How does this feel
for entertainment?

[Amy] This isn't smaller.

It's not... Is it bigger?
Is it smaller?

-Is it the same exact size?
-It's the same size.

But your old table,
I love a live-edge table.

-But with... It's stunning.
-[Amy] It's not stunning
like that.

[Drew] But the large holes
in it, it was...

-It wasn't the most
functional.
-[Sarah] It's very narrow.

I didn't know
to ask how thick...

-How wide it was.
-[Jonathan] Yeah.

[Amy] It was, like, my first
purchase for the house.

[Jonathan] But we still
wanted to give you

-that chunky wood feel.
-[Sarah] Yeah.

These are my parents' dishes.

That's my grandmother's
buffet,

which is hilarious.

-[laughs]
-And this is your great,

great uncle Sprig, right?

Yeah. Came from...
It came from his tree.

You had this all open before.

[Amy] And I hated it.

It was glass
and it looked kinda dated.

-[Drew] Yeah.
-[Sarah] Open her up.

-Woo!
-[Amy] Wow.

[Sarah] And this is instead
of your file cabinet

-and it pulls out.
-[Amy] The whole thing?

If you're working at here...

-[Amy] Oh.
-and you need this close,

-you know you roll it in.
-Yeah.

If I'm working at home,

you'll use my dining room
as kind of a home-based.

[Jonathan] Everything is
all about it being flexed.

-Set up shop here. You're set.
-Yeah.

You wanna tuck it away
and let the party begin.

Well, that's what
the upper part is for.

[Amy] It looks beautiful.

Something that I know
about Sarah,

she doesn't like
to disappoint people.

So I imagine that this
was stressful for her.

Also, I don't know
where you found the time,

'cause we're very busy.
[laughs]

I know that Sarah doesn't
like to do anything halfway.

-Wee!
-[laughter]

Wow.

So the fact that
she took this on,

on top of everything else
that has been going on

is very meaningful.

You have a mischievous
grin on your face.

No, because I know
how busy Sarah is

and I can't imagine
how much time you put into me.

So it's incredibly
meaningful that,

you spent this
amount of effort on me.

-So I really...
-I love you.

I love you, too.
I couldn't love you more.

-Hug her. Hug her.
-But I...

-We don't hug.
-[Jonathan] Hug her.

-Just kidding.
-Hugs are very rare.

[laughter]

-We did it. Oh, my gosh.
-We did it.

-Oh.
-Get in here. Get in here.

-This is stunning.
-[Jonathan] Hi.

-Hi, I'm Amy's mom.
-How are you?

Now you're on camera talent.

-Where are we?
-Gorgeous.

Kevin, it's different
from when you left.

When I saw the pot filler,

you know, that's when
it kinda hit me like,

"This is all different."

What's pot filler?

It's a... It's...

[Sarah] Oh,
the spaghetti water thing?

-Yeah, yeah. Sorry.
-Yeah.

Look at the dishes.

-[laughs] They're great.
-[Amy] It could be spaghetti.

It could be, you know.

-Penne.
-Hard-boiled eggs.

It could be fusilli.
It could be linguine.

-Capellini.
-Ooh.

The only thing missing
are 58 bottles of wine.

[laughter]

Thank you so much.

-Girl, I love you.
-I love you so much.

-I love you more.
-I love you most.

What's more than most?