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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:35,561 MEN [SINGING]: Whip crack away, whip crack away 2 00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:38,264 Whip crack away 3 00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:55,156 Whip crack away, whip crack away Whip crack away 4 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,444 MAN 1: The Deadwood stage! 5 00:01:25,544 --> 00:01:27,529 MAN 2: The Deadwood stage! 6 00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:30,027 MEN: The Deadwood stage! 7 00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:34,620 [SINGING] Oh, the Deadwood stage Is a-rollin' on over the plains 8 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:39,041 With the curtains flappin' And the driver slappin' the reins 9 00:01:39,141 --> 00:01:41,126 A beautiful sky 10 00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:43,378 A wonderful day 11 00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:47,382 Whip crack away, whip crack away Whip crack away 12 00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:51,553 Oh, the Deadwood stage Is a-headin' on over the hills 13 00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:56,183 Where the Injun arrows Are thicker than porcupine quills 14 00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:58,018 Dangerous land 15 00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,895 No time to delay 16 00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:03,815 ALL: So whip crack away, whip crack away Whip crack away 17 00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:08,946 We're headin' straight for town Loaded down with a fancy cargo 18 00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:12,741 Care of Wells and Fargo, Illinois Boy 19 00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:17,120 CALAMITY: Oh, the Deadwood stage Is a-comin' on over the crest 20 00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:21,750 Like a homing pigeon That's a-hankerin' after its nest 21 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,627 Twenty-three miles 22 00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:25,379 We've covered today 23 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:29,383 ALL: So whip crack away, whip crack away Whip crack away 24 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:34,471 The wheels go turnin' round, homeward bound Can't you hear them humming 25 00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:38,392 Happy times are coming for to stay Hey 26 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:42,062 CALAMITY: We'll be home tonight By the light of the silvery moon 27 00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:46,017 And my heads a-thumpin' Like a mandolin a-plunking a tune 28 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,069 When I get home 29 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,988 I'm fixing to stay 30 00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:55,742 So whip crack away, whip crack-away Whip crack-away 31 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:58,695 ALL: Whip crack away, whip crack away Whip crack away 32 00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:07,499 [ALL CHEERING AND SHOUTING] 33 00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:18,932 Here they be, here they be 34 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,809 How's about a welcome? 35 00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:24,730 A peaceful sort of welcome for the gang 36 00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:29,192 Oh, the Deadwood stage Is finally home again 37 00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:33,614 Well excuse my stammer If it ain't Calamity Jane 38 00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,324 MAN: Hi, Calam 39 00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:38,201 - What'd you bring us today? - New rubber boots? 40 00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:40,119 - Ten-dollar suits? - Things to crochet? 41 00:03:41,513 --> 00:03:45,042 Beads that sparkle like a prism Snake oil for your rheumatism 42 00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:48,670 Calico and gingham for the girls 43 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:52,174 Gumdrops made in Chicago Gumdrops just a trifle soggy 44 00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:55,927 And a genuine string of artificial pearls 45 00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:57,763 Here's a hat from Cincinnati 46 00:03:57,863 --> 00:04:01,888 Same as Adelina Patti Wore in every famous concert hall 47 00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:06,938 Cast your eye on Dr. Boer's Patent-pending hair restorer 48 00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:09,561 Guaranteed to grow hair on a billiard ball 49 00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:11,609 [ALL CHEERING] 50 00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:26,625 Introducin' Henry Miller 51 00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:30,212 Just as busy as a fizzy sarsaparilla 52 00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:33,674 Ain't a showman and he's smarter Operates the Golden Garter 53 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:37,094 Where the cream of Deadwood City Come to dine 54 00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:41,424 And I'm glad to say He's a very good friend of mine 55 00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:46,061 Hi, Joe Say, where'd you get them fancy clothes? 56 00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:49,481 I know Off some fellow's laundry line 57 00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:52,734 Hi, Beau Aren't you the Prairie Rose 58 00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:56,655 Smelling like a watermelon vine 59 00:04:57,714 --> 00:05:01,034 Here's a man the sheriff watches 60 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:04,496 On his gun There's more then 27 notches 61 00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:07,833 On the draw there's no one faster And you're flirting with disaster 62 00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:11,913 When Bill Hickok's reputation you malign 63 00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:20,130 And I'm glad to say he's a very good friend, Of a friend of mine 64 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:25,142 Oh, my throat's as dry As a desert thistle in May 65 00:05:25,242 --> 00:05:29,479 In the Golden Garter Gonna wet my whistle today 66 00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:33,859 Last to the bar's a three-legged crow 67 00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:37,779 Set them up, Joe, set them up, Joe Set them up, Joe 68 00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:39,865 Drinks on the house, drinks on the house 69 00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:45,328 Set them up, Joe 70 00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:46,872 [ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] 71 00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:48,494 [GUNSHOT] 72 00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:57,920 Make mine sarsaparilla. 73 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,178 [ALL LAUGHING] 74 00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:06,057 It ain't so funny. 75 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,436 Any excitement on this trip, Calam? 76 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:10,812 Excitement. 77 00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:14,149 Why, I got more arrows in the back of that coach than a porcupine's got stickers. 78 00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:15,896 [ALL LAUGHING] 79 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,320 Seemed like the whole Sioux nation. 80 00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:21,656 - Hey, where is that sarsaparilla? - Here you are, Calam. 81 00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:23,950 MAN: I'd like a little beer. 82 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,327 [GASPS] 83 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:42,044 FRANCIS: No, please. Don't. Don't! 84 00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:46,223 Is there a woman in here? 85 00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:50,178 FRANCIS: Uh, no, sir. Just Indians. 86 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:56,141 Where is my actress? 87 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:04,825 Without warning, down they come out of them hills howling like souls in torment. 88 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:07,198 Why, must have been 100 of them. 89 00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:10,205 [ALL LAUGHING] 90 00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:12,958 It weren't no laughing matter. 91 00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:16,378 Sure, it wasn't. I'd hate to have a war party that big on my tail. 92 00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:18,547 You know, Bill, except for me, of course... 93 00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:21,925 you're the only galoot in the world could've brought that coach in. 94 00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:23,134 Thanks, Calam. 95 00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:25,679 Of course, it called for some mighty rapid shooting. 96 00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:28,682 My gun got so hot, I had to sit with my legs stretched out... 97 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:32,394 holding the muzzle of my gun between my feet to keep it from curling up. 98 00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:36,857 Yeah, I must have killed about 30 of them painted varmints before they got discouraged. 99 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,276 [MAN WHISTLES THEN ALL LAUGHING] 100 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,200 Uh, I've got to see to the horses. 101 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,902 [ALL LAUGHING] 102 00:07:56,726 --> 00:08:00,046 How many of them injuns you reckon I shot, Rattlesnake? 103 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,215 About 30, I reckon, Calam. 104 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,886 That's better. Next time I tell a story, keep your hands in your pockets... 105 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,884 you toothless old buffalo. 106 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:11,224 MAN: Come and get them. 107 00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:15,145 Who wants cigarettes? Just came in on the stage. A dollar a pack. 108 00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:17,393 [ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] 109 00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:23,984 Hmm, look at them, snapping for them cigarettes like a bunch of silk-gloved dudes. 110 00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:28,275 - Another dying Robert E. Lee. - I got General Grant. 111 00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:30,660 - Queen Victoria. - Carnsarn boat again. 112 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,538 - Yippee! I got her. I got her. - Let's see it. 113 00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:35,165 I'll give you $5 for it. 114 00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:38,335 I wouldn't take 50, because I'm keeping her close to my heart. 115 00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:40,082 [GRUMBLING AND CHATTERING] 116 00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:46,218 - What you suppose is getting into them? - Mm, it's Adelaid, Calam. Adelaid. 117 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:48,887 What's an Adelaid? 118 00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:51,598 She's a hope. A dream. A vision. 119 00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:54,225 You see her carved on the prow of an ancient ship... 120 00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:56,394 in the dying embers of the camp fire. 121 00:08:56,494 --> 00:09:02,734 Circe, Aphrodite, Helen of Troy. In this case, it's Adelaid Adams. 122 00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:05,938 - You mean, all that in a pack of cigarettes? - Mm-hm. 123 00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:11,572 Beautiful, ain't she? 124 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:15,330 She ain't got nothing on but her underwear. 125 00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:17,499 Them's tights, Calam. 126 00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:20,669 She's a great actress, so they tell me. 127 00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:24,794 She's charming, lovely figure, everything that a woman ought to be. 128 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:30,595 Looks like a fat, frilled-up side of undressed beef to me. 129 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:35,392 I could look the same. Except I got certain ideas about modesty. 130 00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:39,562 Ain't one man wouldn't ride 100 miles just for one glimpse of Miss Adams. 131 00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:42,524 Hmm. You, maybe. Some of that scum around here. 132 00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:45,193 But a gentleman wouldn't look twice at such a picture. 133 00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:48,655 Yeah. A gentleman like Lieutenant Gilmartin for instance, huh? 134 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:52,325 Yeah, now that you mention it. Like Lieutenant Gilmartin. 135 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,411 You're kind of stuck on him, ain't you? 136 00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:55,620 [CHUCKLES] 137 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,993 Ain't saying until he does. 138 00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:02,585 Say, where's he been, anyway? I kind of thought maybe he'd be here to meet the stage. 139 00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:07,007 Oh, he's on duty at the Fort, I guess. Last time I saw him was a week ago. 140 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:09,460 He came in to buy a pack of them cigarettes. 141 00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:12,629 [LAUGHS] 142 00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:16,391 Mr. Miller, please. Nobody pays any attention to me. 143 00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:17,600 Why should they? 144 00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:23,648 Well, Mr. Miller, you're expecting me. I'm Francis Fryer. 145 00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:25,066 Where is my actress? 146 00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:28,820 The one who wrote me the letter about my ad in the Chicago newspaper? 147 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:32,782 I hired her. She's supposed to be here. Look. 148 00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:34,450 I'm advertising her. 149 00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:38,367 Oh, heh. Well, that's me. 150 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:40,664 You're her? 151 00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:44,544 Uh, no, I'm not her. You see, I'm, uh... 152 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:47,247 Look. "Francis Fryer." 153 00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:53,049 You're Francis Fryer? You deceived me. You're fired. 154 00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:56,431 No, you're not fired. I've got to have somebody. 155 00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:57,640 I'm ruined. 156 00:10:57,740 --> 00:11:02,020 I advertised an actress. When that crowd sees you tonight, they'll lynch me. 157 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,268 Go hide in my office. 158 00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:06,349 [CHATTERING] 159 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,572 Tell us all about it. 160 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,616 What happened? Who got you? 161 00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:16,910 Indians. War party. 162 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:20,580 There were five of us: Two surveyors and a lieutenant from the Fort. 163 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,458 They jumped us at Eagle Pass. 164 00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:27,208 They killed the surveyors and the lieutenant. 165 00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:31,253 - What lieutenant? - Gilmallin, his name was. 166 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:35,095 - They got Danny Gilmartin? - They got him, all right. The others too. 167 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,797 The rotten savages! 168 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:42,306 How did they get him? Quick? Clean? In the heart? 169 00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:45,105 - I reckon. Or in the head. - Maybe both. 170 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:46,314 Don't you know? 171 00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:49,109 They got him plenty. They got him quick and fast. 172 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,569 His horse went down. He died right where he fell. 173 00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:53,655 Didn't you go back and find out for sure? 174 00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:56,449 Go back? How in blazes could we go back? 175 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:59,152 They chased us for 10 miles, showering us with arrows. 176 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,288 You left him, didn't you? 177 00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:05,033 You never went back to see if he was dead or alive. 178 00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:08,169 You slab-sided, white-bellied coyotes. 179 00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:11,464 You left Danny like I wouldn't leave a hurt dog! 180 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:15,009 - Calam, where are you going? - To get Danny. 181 00:12:59,988 --> 00:13:01,260 Let's go! 182 00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:03,091 [GUNSHOTS] 183 00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:18,902 - Are you all right? - Yeah. Just untie me. 184 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,751 Get on that horse. 185 00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:43,848 Why do we have to ride the same horse? We could've grabbed an Indian pony. 186 00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:46,301 It's cozier this way. 187 00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:52,683 [BRASS BAND PLAYING CHEERFUL MUSIC] 188 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,561 What happened then, Calam? 189 00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:58,488 I give him a bullet right between the eyeballs. 190 00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:01,567 Then me and Danny lit out, two more of them coming after us. 191 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:04,535 I shot them both. Didn't I, Danny? 192 00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:08,331 - Why, uh... Well... Ahem. - You killed four of them? 193 00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:11,284 - That's all there were. - You're the girl to do it too. 194 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:23,263 What's the matter with you? Don't you believe me? 195 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,014 Oh, sure. 196 00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:27,684 Only, with you killing off them redskins so fast... 197 00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:31,184 I was wondering why the government even bothered to send the army. 198 00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:33,435 [GUNSHOT] 199 00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:36,483 Are you calling me a liar again? 200 00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,735 Why don't you ever fix your hair? 201 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,201 MAN: Adelaid Adams! I got her! Look! 202 00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:47,278 [MEN CHATTERING] 203 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,332 I didn't save you for no other female. 204 00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:53,375 [DRUM ROLL] 205 00:14:55,770 --> 00:14:57,668 [CHEERING] 206 00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:05,012 Gentlemen and, uh... gentlemen. 207 00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:11,394 In keeping with the policy of the Golden Garter... 208 00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:15,440 which strives to bring to Deadwood the best in entertainment... 209 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:17,567 regardless of the expense... 210 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:21,112 it is my great pleasure to present to you now... 211 00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:26,409 that lovely star, that toast of New York, Miss Frances Fryer. 212 00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:28,577 [BAND RESUMES PLAYING] 213 00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:38,337 [MOUTHS] I can't. 214 00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:43,467 I can't. 215 00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:55,229 - Come on. Get out there. - If I go on as a woman, they'll murder me. 216 00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:59,024 If you don't, they'll murder you. And me too. Now, get out there. 217 00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:19,204 - Do you see what I see? - She ain't very good-looking. 218 00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,168 That ain't all she ain't. 219 00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:25,301 [SINGING] I've got two wonderful arms 220 00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:27,970 I've got two wonderful lips 221 00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:32,350 I'm over 21 and I'm free 222 00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:36,938 Oh, I've got a hive full of honey 223 00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:40,441 For the right kind of honey bee 224 00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:41,688 MAN: Psst. 225 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:48,074 I'm not the glamorous type 226 00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:50,535 But I'm the amorous type 227 00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:54,410 You'll love the way I fit on your knee 228 00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:56,161 [MEN LAUGHING] 229 00:16:56,265 --> 00:17:00,253 Oh, I've got a hive full of honey 230 00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:04,458 For the right kind of honey bee 231 00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:11,139 My daddy owns a rail road 232 00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:15,768 And my ma is a millionaire 233 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:19,439 And besides, I'm an only child 234 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:24,019 Do you think you could learn to care? 235 00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:29,449 If you're the one I adore 236 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,868 Come on and get it before 237 00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:36,323 Somebody shakes it down from the tree. 238 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:44,547 I've got a hive full of honey 239 00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:47,796 For the right kind of honey bee 240 00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:51,929 I got two wonderful arms I got two wonderful lips 241 00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:55,383 I'm over 21 and I'm free 242 00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:59,562 Oh, I've got a hive full of honey 243 00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:03,517 For the right kind of honey bee 244 00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:23,211 Miller is in for it now. 245 00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:28,299 Please, everybody, I can explain. I may have made a mistake about his gender... 246 00:18:28,399 --> 00:18:31,677 but not his talent. He's a great actor. 247 00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:35,256 He's wonderful. If you'd give us a chance. I'll make it up to you. 248 00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:37,725 You'll have a good time. 249 00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,643 [ALL SHOUTING AND BOOING] 250 00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:48,986 Gosh, Bill, they're all walking out of here. This will ruin Millie. 251 00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:50,859 - Do something. - Do what? 252 00:18:58,596 --> 00:18:59,993 Listen to me! 253 00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:04,502 Listen to me, you mangy groundhogs. 254 00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:09,131 This ain't no way to treat Millie. You wouldn't have a theater without him. 255 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:11,342 Can't a man make a mistake in this town? 256 00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:15,638 We ain't suckers. He promised us a New York actress. Look what we got! 257 00:19:15,738 --> 00:19:17,260 ALL: Yeah! 258 00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:23,896 - You got what he got! - We don't want it. No, we don't want it! 259 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:25,189 Wait a minute! 260 00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:29,068 He knows how disappointed you are. Give him a chance and he'll make it up. 261 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:31,779 - Won't you, Millie? - Sure. Anything. 262 00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:34,323 He fooled us once, and he'll fool us again. 263 00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:37,443 Millie won't do nothing for us. 264 00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:43,374 He will. He'll get you an actress prettier than the one you expected. 265 00:19:43,474 --> 00:19:47,124 - Why, he's written for her already. - What actress? Who's he going to get? 266 00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:51,257 A big one. A plumb big one. 267 00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:53,009 Who, Calam? Tell us who. 268 00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:54,586 [ALL SHOUTING] 269 00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:58,347 MAN: We'd like to know who she is. 270 00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:00,433 Adelaid Adams, that's who! 271 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,476 [CHEERING] 272 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:07,106 It sounds too good to be true, but it better be. 273 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,191 You've got Calamity Jane's word on it. 274 00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:13,612 Get back to your tables, you coyotes. Enjoy the show! 275 00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:17,783 I'll make this all up to you. 276 00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:23,456 Mr. Miller, Adelaid Adams is in Chicago. She wouldn't be caught dead in this town. 277 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:27,334 I think I'll take a long walk off a short precipice. 278 00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:37,590 Look, I figure... 279 00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:44,977 My death warrant, she signed. Adelaid Adams. 280 00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:48,230 If you'd only promised them any other actress. 281 00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:53,061 - I don't know no other actress. - That's why they call her "Calamity." 282 00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:55,571 Listen, you two-bit gambler... 283 00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:59,696 I didn't see you come up with an idea when the chips were down. 284 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,243 [BILL GRUMBLES] 285 00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:05,748 At least you've still got a theater. What stops you getting this Adelaid? 286 00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:09,794 This joint's the biggest goldmine in Deadwood. You can afford it. 287 00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:13,589 - Why don't you send for her? - Why don't I send for the Queen of Sheba? 288 00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:15,007 Yeah. 289 00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:18,586 No good. They want Adelaid. 290 00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:22,098 Look, nothing is impossible for Calamity. 291 00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:25,472 Didn't she save the stage from 100 savage injuns? 292 00:21:25,576 --> 00:21:29,980 Didn't she rescue her pretty lieutenant from a fate worse than death? 293 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:34,356 Besides, she gave the boys her word that Adelaid would be here. 294 00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:39,566 Calamity's word is sacred. 295 00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:44,695 Bill. 296 00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:48,874 - You really have that much faith in me? - Who knows you better than me? 297 00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:52,628 You think I could go to Chicago and bring Adelaid Adams back here? 298 00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:55,172 You gave your word, and I trust that. 299 00:21:55,272 --> 00:21:59,427 About as much as I do a blind rattlesnake with a brand new button on his tail. 300 00:21:59,527 --> 00:22:00,803 [BILL CHUCKLES] 301 00:22:00,903 --> 00:22:03,180 Hey, wait a minute. 302 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:07,393 - Aw, you no good four-flushing... - You talk too much. 303 00:22:07,493 --> 00:22:09,854 [SINGING] In the summer you're the winter 304 00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:12,440 In the finger you're the splinter 305 00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:14,608 In the banquet you're the stew 306 00:22:14,708 --> 00:22:17,570 Say, I could do without you 307 00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:20,072 In the garden you're the gopher 308 00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:22,825 In the Levi's you're the loafer 309 00:22:22,925 --> 00:22:24,952 Like an overturned canoe 310 00:22:25,052 --> 00:22:27,913 Well, I can do without you 311 00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:30,541 You can go to Philadelphia 312 00:22:30,641 --> 00:22:32,877 Take a hack to Hackensack 313 00:22:32,977 --> 00:22:35,796 Hey, I'll never ring a bell for you 314 00:22:35,896 --> 00:22:37,964 Or yell for you to come back 315 00:22:38,399 --> 00:22:40,926 In the question you're the why 316 00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:43,429 In the ointment you're the fly 317 00:22:43,529 --> 00:22:46,348 Though I know some things Are indispensable 318 00:22:46,448 --> 00:22:48,559 Like a buck or two 319 00:22:48,659 --> 00:22:50,436 If there's one thing I can do without 320 00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:53,264 I can do without you 321 00:22:56,292 --> 00:22:58,694 In the barrel, you're a pickle 322 00:22:58,794 --> 00:23:01,322 In the goldmine, you're a nickel 323 00:23:01,422 --> 00:23:03,574 You're the tack inside my shoe 324 00:23:03,674 --> 00:23:06,577 Yes, I can do without you 325 00:23:06,677 --> 00:23:09,079 In my bosom you're a dagger 326 00:23:09,179 --> 00:23:11,665 You're a mangy carpetbagger 327 00:23:11,765 --> 00:23:15,002 In the theater you're the boo 328 00:23:15,102 --> 00:23:16,879 I can do without you 329 00:23:16,979 --> 00:23:19,423 You got charms, they ain't bewitchin' me 330 00:23:19,523 --> 00:23:22,718 You've a face no one would paint 331 00:23:22,818 --> 00:23:24,720 I got the darndest itch in me 332 00:23:24,820 --> 00:23:27,181 To be wherever you ain't 333 00:23:27,281 --> 00:23:29,475 In the bullfrog, you're the croak 334 00:23:30,034 --> 00:23:32,561 In the forest, poison oak 335 00:23:32,661 --> 00:23:35,064 Though I know some things are necessary 336 00:23:35,164 --> 00:23:37,608 My half-pint buckaroo 337 00:23:37,708 --> 00:23:40,361 If there's one thing I can do without I can do without... 338 00:23:40,461 --> 00:23:42,154 - You're a knothead - You're a faker 339 00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:44,607 - You're a bonehead - Troublemaker 340 00:23:46,091 --> 00:23:48,569 I can do without you 341 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,248 [GRUMBLES] 342 00:23:56,310 --> 00:23:58,295 Oh, Calam. 343 00:23:58,395 --> 00:24:02,967 The night Adelaid steps on that stage, I'll come dressed as a Sioux squaw... 344 00:24:03,067 --> 00:24:04,260 lugging a papoose. 345 00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:05,882 [LAUGHS] 346 00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:12,101 I'll bring her, Bill Hickok, if I have to drag her back with my teeth! 347 00:24:13,535 --> 00:24:15,512 [CHATTERING] 348 00:24:16,830 --> 00:24:19,650 Look out, Adelaid Adams. Rattlesnake! 349 00:24:19,750 --> 00:24:22,820 Salary's no object. Promise her anything, but bring her. 350 00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:25,197 I've got the cigarette picture, I'll find her. 351 00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:27,324 - Calam, do me a favor. - What? 352 00:24:27,424 --> 00:24:31,287 When you're in Chicago, notice the women, how they act and what they wear. 353 00:24:31,387 --> 00:24:34,123 Get yourself some female clothes and fixings. 354 00:24:34,223 --> 00:24:37,702 You know, dresses, ribbons, perfume, things like that. 355 00:24:38,102 --> 00:24:41,627 - If you don't like how I smell... - It's nothing personal. 356 00:24:42,815 --> 00:24:46,552 If you ever crawled out of that deer hide and dolled up a bit... 357 00:24:46,652 --> 00:24:49,551 I got a hunch you'd be a passable, pretty gal. 358 00:24:50,864 --> 00:24:55,394 Well, save your hunches for females who get their pictures taken in long underwear. 359 00:24:55,494 --> 00:24:57,187 - I ain't one of them. - BILL: Ha-ha-ha. 360 00:24:57,287 --> 00:24:59,940 - Come on. Get this schooner rolling. - Hyah! 361 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,643 [CHEERING] 362 00:26:12,696 --> 00:26:13,888 CALAMITY: Scalps. 363 00:26:15,783 --> 00:26:18,136 A massacre. 364 00:26:23,207 --> 00:26:24,942 Drop it, you murdering copperhead. 365 00:26:25,042 --> 00:26:26,985 [MEN LAUGHING] 366 00:26:31,757 --> 00:26:33,700 I'll be hornswoggled. 367 00:26:55,322 --> 00:26:58,767 [SINGING] When you turn to the subject of Harry 368 00:26:58,867 --> 00:27:02,312 That's a horse from a different safari 369 00:27:02,412 --> 00:27:04,940 He can box like a fox 370 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:07,693 He's as dumb as an ox 371 00:27:07,793 --> 00:27:11,030 But it's Harry I'm planning to marry 372 00:27:11,130 --> 00:27:14,324 ALL: Yes, it's Harry she's plannin' to marry 373 00:27:14,424 --> 00:27:19,496 My heart's twined around his suspenders 374 00:27:19,596 --> 00:27:25,586 He's the one that I truly adore 375 00:27:25,686 --> 00:27:31,300 I'm numb, I succumb when he renders 376 00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:34,303 The face on the bar room floor 377 00:27:34,403 --> 00:27:37,806 When he flexes his muscles, I flutter 378 00:27:37,906 --> 00:27:41,727 Like a butterfly caught in a shutter 379 00:27:41,827 --> 00:27:44,897 When he calls me his mate 380 00:27:45,831 --> 00:27:50,152 I just disintegrate 381 00:27:50,252 --> 00:27:51,945 Since the world first began 382 00:27:52,045 --> 00:27:53,655 ALL: Since the world first began 383 00:27:53,755 --> 00:27:55,324 ADELAID: Never been such a man 384 00:27:55,424 --> 00:27:57,117 ALL: Never been such a man 385 00:27:57,217 --> 00:27:58,660 Who could love like he can 386 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:04,333 ALL: So it's Harry I'm planning to marry 387 00:28:23,952 --> 00:28:25,395 They love you, Miss Adams. 388 00:28:25,495 --> 00:28:28,065 Shouldn't you take another bow? It's your last night. 389 00:28:28,165 --> 00:28:30,108 I'm gratefully aware of that. 390 00:28:33,086 --> 00:28:35,739 See that the trunks are packed, and my costumes... 391 00:28:35,839 --> 00:28:39,034 Get rid of those awful things. Sell them or do something. 392 00:28:39,134 --> 00:28:40,953 I'll make you a present of them. 393 00:28:41,053 --> 00:28:45,666 I'll buy a whole new wardrobe. London, Vienna, Paris. 394 00:28:45,766 --> 00:28:48,585 How different from this primitive Chicago. 395 00:28:48,685 --> 00:28:51,213 These past few weeks have been a dreadful bore. 396 00:28:51,313 --> 00:28:55,338 How can you say that, Miss Adams? They have been glorious. 397 00:28:55,901 --> 00:29:01,515 If I could be on the stage for one minute, to see all those people looking up at me... 398 00:29:01,615 --> 00:29:03,888 listening, admiring... 399 00:29:03,992 --> 00:29:05,102 [ADELAID CHUCKLES] 400 00:29:05,202 --> 00:29:07,600 Like looking into the pens at the stockyards. 401 00:29:08,747 --> 00:29:11,900 Hurry up, Katie. We mustn't keep Mr. Kingsley waiting. 402 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,653 Maybe some day I will be on the stage. 403 00:29:14,753 --> 00:29:18,282 Not a grand, beautiful star like you, Miss Adams. 404 00:29:18,382 --> 00:29:22,661 Just to sing a song maybe. I can dance and sing a little. 405 00:29:22,761 --> 00:29:27,332 Of course you can. I've heard you. Very nice for choirs and weddings, but... 406 00:29:27,432 --> 00:29:30,878 I doubt that your voice would ever carry beyond the footlights. 407 00:29:30,978 --> 00:29:33,839 There, now. How do I look? 408 00:29:33,939 --> 00:29:36,300 Beautiful, Miss Adams. Just beautiful. 409 00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:37,922 [ADELAID CHUCKLES] 410 00:29:38,777 --> 00:29:42,639 Even if I never sang alone, if I were only in the chorus... 411 00:29:42,739 --> 00:29:45,726 couldn't you suggest it to somebody sometime? 412 00:29:45,826 --> 00:29:49,188 You're not serious, Katie. Not really? 413 00:29:49,288 --> 00:29:51,815 My dear, it isn't just your voice, it's... 414 00:29:51,915 --> 00:29:54,939 You other equipment is hardly adequate. 415 00:29:55,294 --> 00:30:01,026 Oh. Cheer up. Maybe I'll send for you when I get to Paris. All right? 416 00:30:03,135 --> 00:30:04,487 Good night, darling. 417 00:30:06,138 --> 00:30:07,956 Good night. 418 00:30:20,319 --> 00:30:21,841 Hmm. 419 00:30:28,744 --> 00:30:31,063 [WOMEN CHATTERING AND LAUGHING] 420 00:30:47,971 --> 00:30:51,500 [SINGING] When you turn to the subject of Harry 421 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:55,170 That's a horse from a different safari 422 00:30:55,270 --> 00:30:57,506 He can box like a fox 423 00:30:57,606 --> 00:31:00,259 He's as dumb as an ox 424 00:31:00,359 --> 00:31:04,054 But it's Harry I'm planning to marry 425 00:31:07,407 --> 00:31:11,061 My heart's twined around his suspenders 426 00:31:11,161 --> 00:31:15,983 He's the one that I truly adore 427 00:31:16,083 --> 00:31:20,612 I'm numb, I succumb when he renders 428 00:31:20,712 --> 00:31:22,735 The face on the bar room floor 429 00:31:24,091 --> 00:31:27,869 When he flexes his muscles, I flutter 430 00:31:27,969 --> 00:31:31,456 Like a butterfly caught in a shutter 431 00:31:31,556 --> 00:31:33,208 When he calls me his... 432 00:31:33,308 --> 00:31:34,785 [SHRIEKS] 433 00:31:34,893 --> 00:31:37,166 What is it, ma'am? Where's the varmint? 434 00:31:39,398 --> 00:31:40,545 Who are you? 435 00:31:40,899 --> 00:31:45,762 Oh. My name is Canary, Miss Adams, most folks call me Calamity. 436 00:31:45,862 --> 00:31:49,683 I came from Deadwood City to see you and talk you into going back with me. 437 00:31:50,784 --> 00:31:55,355 Gosh almighty, you're the prettiest thing I've ever seen. 438 00:31:56,915 --> 00:31:59,359 I've never known a woman could look like that. 439 00:32:00,001 --> 00:32:01,774 Say. 440 00:32:02,421 --> 00:32:04,740 - How do you hold that dress up there? - Please. 441 00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:08,660 - I have to change clothes. Do you mind? - Helping you? Why, sure. 442 00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:11,621 I've plugged men for less than that. 443 00:32:11,721 --> 00:32:14,708 If you don't get out of here this instant, Mr. Canary... 444 00:32:14,808 --> 00:32:17,252 or Mr. Calamity, or whatever your name is... 445 00:32:17,352 --> 00:32:18,628 Mister? 446 00:32:18,728 --> 00:32:20,796 Why, I ain't no mister. 447 00:32:23,108 --> 00:32:26,511 - You're a woman? - Of course, I'm a woman. 448 00:32:26,611 --> 00:32:28,305 You thought I was a man? 449 00:32:28,405 --> 00:32:30,098 [LAUGHS] 450 00:32:34,995 --> 00:32:37,939 Come to think of it, that ain't so funny. 451 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:44,404 I'm sorry. But those clothes, the gun and everything. 452 00:32:44,504 --> 00:32:48,529 I reckon I do look a mite strange to a lady like you. 453 00:32:48,967 --> 00:32:51,078 I guess I ain't much to look at. 454 00:32:51,178 --> 00:32:55,203 But there ain't a woman I can't out-ride or out-shoot or... 455 00:32:57,559 --> 00:33:00,287 Everybody can't have a figure like Adelaid Adams. 456 00:33:00,604 --> 00:33:02,672 That's a matter of opinion. 457 00:33:02,772 --> 00:33:06,385 In the opinion of Deadwood City, there ain't no other opinion. 458 00:33:06,485 --> 00:33:08,383 Now, let's get down to business. 459 00:33:09,696 --> 00:33:12,595 I'd like to hire you to come and sing in Deadwood. 460 00:33:13,700 --> 00:33:14,847 Me? 461 00:33:16,328 --> 00:33:21,400 I got a lot of nerve asking you, I know. Deadwood City ain't no Chicago... 462 00:33:21,500 --> 00:33:25,445 and the Golden Garter ain't no grand theater like this one... 463 00:33:25,545 --> 00:33:29,400 but they want you mighty bad, and I promised them you'd come. 464 00:33:29,925 --> 00:33:32,327 Name your own salary. 465 00:33:32,427 --> 00:33:37,033 Well, the salary isn't important. It's just, uh... 466 00:33:37,766 --> 00:33:38,958 Me? 467 00:33:39,601 --> 00:33:44,005 Every prospector in the territory is chewing himself sick with tobacco... 468 00:33:44,105 --> 00:33:45,832 just to get a picture of you. 469 00:33:47,025 --> 00:33:50,345 Tell Deadwood, Miss Adams is sorry, but she's going to Europe. 470 00:33:52,864 --> 00:33:56,685 Don't you reckon you could put that off until after you played Deadwood? 471 00:33:56,785 --> 00:33:59,354 Sure, I could, but... 472 00:34:00,205 --> 00:34:02,228 Maybe I could. 473 00:34:03,416 --> 00:34:06,395 It's ridiculous. I couldn't. 474 00:34:08,129 --> 00:34:11,199 Is this the only picture they have of me in Deadwood? 475 00:34:11,299 --> 00:34:14,494 - The cigarette picture? - I reckon so, ma'am. 476 00:34:15,387 --> 00:34:17,122 Where is Deadwood? 477 00:34:17,222 --> 00:34:19,666 Dakota Territory. Out in the Black Hills. 478 00:34:19,766 --> 00:34:21,877 - Indians? - Sioux tribe. 479 00:34:21,977 --> 00:34:25,338 But you needn't worry about Injuns when you travel with Calamity Jane. 480 00:34:25,438 --> 00:34:26,710 Do trains go there? 481 00:34:27,190 --> 00:34:29,885 Well, not for the last 100 miles. 482 00:34:29,985 --> 00:34:32,262 - But the stage is comfortable. - No telegraph? 483 00:34:32,362 --> 00:34:33,509 No. 484 00:34:33,989 --> 00:34:36,558 If you want to send a letter, there's a dispatcher... 485 00:34:36,658 --> 00:34:41,188 If I refused, you'd poke that gun in my back and march me to the rail road station. 486 00:34:41,288 --> 00:34:45,859 - Well, now... - I'm at your mercy. Come help me pack. 487 00:34:49,087 --> 00:34:53,033 I got a strange feeling someone is being hustled. 488 00:35:07,981 --> 00:35:09,833 [YELLING] 489 00:35:22,621 --> 00:35:25,224 RATTLESNAKE: Hyah! Hyah! 490 00:35:39,596 --> 00:35:42,249 Come on, you redskin naked heathens! 491 00:35:42,349 --> 00:35:45,835 Run up here and get your one-way ticket to the happy hunting grounds! 492 00:35:45,935 --> 00:35:50,506 Come on, catch us! And catch that! 493 00:35:52,567 --> 00:35:54,419 And that! 494 00:35:58,031 --> 00:36:00,099 Get the steam up in them horses. 495 00:36:05,455 --> 00:36:07,808 Are you comfortable in there, Miss Adams? 496 00:36:17,258 --> 00:36:20,078 Well, it's all over. 497 00:36:20,178 --> 00:36:21,413 Phew. 498 00:36:21,513 --> 00:36:26,414 I told you you had nothing to worry about. Not when you're riding with Calamity. 499 00:36:28,478 --> 00:36:31,457 Miss Adams, you all right? 500 00:36:33,525 --> 00:36:34,672 Miss Adams. 501 00:36:39,614 --> 00:36:41,850 Calamity's back, and she brought Adelaid Adams. 502 00:36:41,950 --> 00:36:44,144 Adelaid Adams. 503 00:36:51,209 --> 00:36:53,607 [CHEERING] 504 00:37:01,428 --> 00:37:02,912 Quiet! Listen to me! 505 00:37:03,012 --> 00:37:05,957 All right, you mangy pack of dirt-scratching beetles. 506 00:37:06,057 --> 00:37:08,410 I promised you Adelaid Adams, and I brought her. 507 00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:15,050 Quiet! Wait a minute! 508 00:37:15,150 --> 00:37:20,507 Everybody stand back. Let's give her a real Deadwood welcome. 509 00:37:27,245 --> 00:37:29,188 Throw them bags down, Rattlesnake. 510 00:37:29,706 --> 00:37:33,068 - Your servant, ma'am, Bill Hickok. - Wild Bill Hickok? 511 00:37:33,168 --> 00:37:35,487 If I am, you could tame me, ma'am. 512 00:37:35,587 --> 00:37:38,615 Lieutenant Daniel Gilmartin, Miss Adams. Yours to command. 513 00:37:38,715 --> 00:37:40,158 Thank you. 514 00:37:40,258 --> 00:37:41,368 This way, Miss Adams. 515 00:37:41,468 --> 00:37:43,241 [CHATTERING] 516 00:37:46,681 --> 00:37:48,917 [BAND PLAYING CHEERFUL MUSIC] 517 00:37:49,017 --> 00:37:54,172 Miss Adams, you are here. I'm unworthy. My theater is unworthy. 518 00:37:54,272 --> 00:37:56,966 But you're a true artist. You are here. 519 00:37:57,066 --> 00:37:58,843 Yes, I'm here. 520 00:37:58,943 --> 00:38:00,053 [MILLER CHUCKLES] 521 00:38:00,153 --> 00:38:04,474 Oh, Miss Adams, permit me to introduce a fellow thespian, also from the East. 522 00:38:04,574 --> 00:38:06,184 Mr. Francis Fryer. 523 00:38:06,284 --> 00:38:08,603 How do you do, Mr. Fryer? 524 00:38:08,703 --> 00:38:11,648 Fryer. Don't I know you from somewhere? 525 00:38:11,748 --> 00:38:14,651 Uh, we played St. Louis the same week last year. 526 00:38:14,751 --> 00:38:16,486 Oh. Oh. 527 00:38:16,586 --> 00:38:19,781 Uh, at, uh... different theaters, of course. 528 00:38:19,881 --> 00:38:21,366 Oh. 529 00:38:21,466 --> 00:38:22,988 How nice to see you again. 530 00:38:23,384 --> 00:38:25,662 Shall we go inside, Miss Adams? 531 00:38:25,762 --> 00:38:29,958 Calam, you did it. I could shoot myself with happiness. 532 00:38:30,058 --> 00:38:32,001 Maybe I should shoot myself for bringing her. 533 00:38:32,101 --> 00:38:33,999 [CHATTERING] 534 00:38:38,566 --> 00:38:41,010 Now, Miss Adams, I'll show you to your room. 535 00:38:41,110 --> 00:38:43,805 Finest room in the house. Had it specially decorated. 536 00:38:43,905 --> 00:38:45,848 Oh, thank you. 537 00:38:49,953 --> 00:38:51,062 Gentlemen. 538 00:38:51,162 --> 00:38:52,684 [MEN LAUGHING] 539 00:38:59,254 --> 00:39:03,116 - Congratulations, Calamity. - Only Calamity could do it! 540 00:39:03,216 --> 00:39:06,286 I bet if she went after Sitting Bull she'd bring him back, too. 541 00:39:06,386 --> 00:39:08,830 Did you see the show? Did you see Miss Adams work? 542 00:39:08,930 --> 00:39:10,953 What is it like in the big city? 543 00:39:11,140 --> 00:39:15,170 Boys, Chicago's the biggest noise in Illinois! 544 00:39:15,270 --> 00:39:16,872 Listen. 545 00:39:18,147 --> 00:39:20,759 [SINGING] I just blew in from the windy city 546 00:39:20,859 --> 00:39:22,927 The windy city is mighty purty 547 00:39:23,027 --> 00:39:28,141 But they ain't got what we got No sirree 548 00:39:28,241 --> 00:39:30,685 They got shacks up to seven stories 549 00:39:30,785 --> 00:39:32,937 Never see any morning glories 550 00:39:33,037 --> 00:39:36,024 But a step from our doorway 551 00:39:36,124 --> 00:39:37,851 We got them for free 552 00:39:38,334 --> 00:39:40,820 They've got those minstrel shows 553 00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:43,239 Purty ladies in the big chapeaus 554 00:39:43,339 --> 00:39:45,825 Private lawns, public parks 555 00:39:45,925 --> 00:39:48,369 For the sake of civic virtue 556 00:39:48,469 --> 00:39:52,916 They've got fountains there that squirt you 557 00:39:53,016 --> 00:39:55,585 I just blew in from the windy city 558 00:39:55,685 --> 00:39:57,879 The windy city is mighty purty 559 00:39:57,979 --> 00:40:01,090 But they ain't got what we got 560 00:40:01,190 --> 00:40:03,176 I'm telling you, boys 561 00:40:03,276 --> 00:40:08,306 We got more life in Deadwood city Than in all of Illinois 562 00:40:08,406 --> 00:40:10,600 On the street was a dancin' fellow 563 00:40:10,700 --> 00:40:12,977 All dressed up in a suit of yellow 564 00:40:13,077 --> 00:40:16,147 And the dance that he did there 565 00:40:16,247 --> 00:40:18,941 Went somethin' like this 566 00:40:20,752 --> 00:40:22,445 Whistle 567 00:40:22,545 --> 00:40:24,272 [WHISTLING] 568 00:40:24,672 --> 00:40:26,240 More 569 00:41:08,466 --> 00:41:10,952 You should've seen me a-window shopping 570 00:41:11,052 --> 00:41:13,204 A-window shopping with eyes a-poppin' 571 00:41:13,304 --> 00:41:18,001 At the sights that you see there Yes, sirree 572 00:41:18,476 --> 00:41:21,045 Press a bell and a moment later 573 00:41:21,145 --> 00:41:23,256 Up you go in an elevator 574 00:41:23,356 --> 00:41:28,553 Just as fast as a polecat a-climbin' a tree 575 00:41:28,653 --> 00:41:31,055 I heard claim hundreds came 576 00:41:31,155 --> 00:41:33,641 To a thing they calla baseball game 577 00:41:33,741 --> 00:41:36,060 Cigar stores, revolving doors 578 00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,855 Men wear sideburns and they ought to 579 00:41:38,955 --> 00:41:44,357 Because a haircut costs a quarter 580 00:41:44,669 --> 00:41:47,030 I just blew in from the windy city 581 00:41:47,130 --> 00:41:49,324 The windy city is mighty purty 582 00:41:49,424 --> 00:41:52,535 But they ain't got what we got 583 00:41:52,635 --> 00:41:54,621 I'm tellin' you, boys 584 00:41:54,721 --> 00:42:01,830 I ain't a-swappin' half of Deadwood For the whole of Illinois 585 00:42:05,273 --> 00:42:07,717 Hurry up. This isn't just any night. 586 00:42:07,817 --> 00:42:10,887 This is Adelaid Adams' night. Hear that crowd! 587 00:42:10,987 --> 00:42:15,975 Billy, you've got to know. I've got to tell you. That girl, she's... 588 00:42:16,075 --> 00:42:17,810 Oh, never mind. 589 00:42:17,910 --> 00:42:21,514 Millie, that Adelaid Adams, she isn't... I mean, she's... 590 00:42:21,873 --> 00:42:25,068 What's the use if she is or if she isn't? She's got to be. 591 00:42:25,168 --> 00:42:29,280 Because if she isn't, that crowd... We'll all be... 592 00:42:29,380 --> 00:42:32,450 I'll have two fast horses waiting at the stage entrance. 593 00:42:33,092 --> 00:42:35,870 Why? I'm not going anywhere. 594 00:42:35,970 --> 00:42:38,706 Actors are crazy people. 595 00:42:38,806 --> 00:42:40,959 Scared, aren't you, Katie Brown? 596 00:42:41,059 --> 00:42:43,912 You thought it was smart posing as Adelaid Adams. 597 00:42:44,312 --> 00:42:48,792 Like to run like mad, wouldn't you? Catch a train, get out of this crazy town. 598 00:42:49,275 --> 00:42:53,471 But you can't. You're trapped. There is no train. 599 00:42:53,571 --> 00:42:56,808 Oh, clever, clever you. 600 00:42:56,908 --> 00:42:58,851 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 601 00:42:59,202 --> 00:43:02,806 - MILLER: Five minutes, Miss Adams. - I'll be ready. 602 00:43:03,331 --> 00:43:08,608 Five minutes, and look at you. You haven't even got a face. 603 00:43:09,003 --> 00:43:10,776 [DRUM ROLL] 604 00:43:14,383 --> 00:43:17,236 Gentlemen and, uh... gentlemen. 605 00:43:19,597 --> 00:43:22,291 The great moment has finally arrived. 606 00:43:22,391 --> 00:43:24,243 [MEN CHEERING] 607 00:43:32,235 --> 00:43:36,723 There are no words to describe the beauty of the lady you are about to meet. 608 00:43:36,823 --> 00:43:40,977 No melody as sweet as the voice you are about to hear. 609 00:43:41,077 --> 00:43:43,020 [BABY CRYING] 610 00:43:56,050 --> 00:43:58,369 Gosh almighty, it's Bill Hickok! 611 00:43:58,469 --> 00:44:00,196 [ALL LAUGHING] 612 00:44:03,099 --> 00:44:05,042 Ain't he gorgeous? 613 00:44:05,810 --> 00:44:09,210 Wild Bill Hickok, sweetheart of the Sioux! 614 00:44:13,025 --> 00:44:16,379 Where are the rest of your kids, Pocahontas? 615 00:44:17,822 --> 00:44:20,300 Here, take him. 616 00:44:20,950 --> 00:44:24,600 Thanks. Everybody get out of here. 617 00:44:26,789 --> 00:44:29,142 All right. That's enough, do you hear? 618 00:44:32,712 --> 00:44:34,363 [LAUGHING] 619 00:44:34,463 --> 00:44:37,988 Bill Hickok! The funniest sight I've ever seen. 620 00:44:38,467 --> 00:44:44,415 Calamity, please! He's mad. Don't break up the show! 621 00:44:44,807 --> 00:44:48,081 All right, Calam. I paid my debt. 622 00:44:48,311 --> 00:44:51,836 The next man that laughs is going to get his head ventilated. 623 00:44:59,989 --> 00:45:02,012 [CALAMITY LAUGHING] 624 00:45:03,159 --> 00:45:06,263 Calam, please! Miss Adams is waiting. 625 00:45:07,246 --> 00:45:08,848 Shh. 626 00:45:10,333 --> 00:45:12,060 [CALAMITY CONTINUES LAUGHING] 627 00:45:12,668 --> 00:45:17,695 The one and only, Miss Adelaid Adams. 628 00:45:20,343 --> 00:45:22,912 Go on out there and give them everything, Katie. 629 00:45:23,429 --> 00:45:25,122 Katie? 630 00:45:34,190 --> 00:45:37,009 - She don't look much like her pictures. - She's prettier. 631 00:45:39,528 --> 00:45:43,099 [SINGING] Well, now, if you've got a cutie Who's a real sweet patootie 632 00:45:43,199 --> 00:45:46,352 Better keep it under your hat 633 00:45:46,452 --> 00:45:50,102 Just remember curiosity in fables of old 634 00:45:50,456 --> 00:45:51,566 Killed the curious cat 635 00:45:51,666 --> 00:45:54,315 What's the matter with her? She didn't sing like that in Chicago. 636 00:45:54,418 --> 00:45:56,529 If you love a laddie Who's a real sugar daddy 637 00:45:56,629 --> 00:45:59,778 Better take in the welcoming mat 638 00:46:00,508 --> 00:46:03,494 Remember there's a dozen dolls For every Dan 639 00:46:03,594 --> 00:46:05,121 You're not the only sweet pea... 640 00:46:05,221 --> 00:46:07,874 Where's your voice, Adelaid? You leave it in Chicago? 641 00:46:07,974 --> 00:46:10,626 So if you wanna know the way To keep your man 642 00:46:10,726 --> 00:46:13,796 Keep it under your hat 643 00:46:14,146 --> 00:46:17,921 - That's the great Adelaid Adams? - The poor, foolish kid. 644 00:46:18,025 --> 00:46:21,129 Well, now, if you've got cutie Who's a real sweet patootie... 645 00:46:21,904 --> 00:46:23,431 Your hat 646 00:46:23,531 --> 00:46:28,228 Just remember curiosity in fables of old 647 00:46:29,036 --> 00:46:32,315 Sing out, Adelaid, like you did in Chicago! 648 00:46:32,415 --> 00:46:36,395 I can't. I'm not Adelaid Adams. 649 00:46:36,502 --> 00:46:38,195 [MURMURING] 650 00:46:39,630 --> 00:46:41,653 You're not A...? 651 00:46:45,636 --> 00:46:49,457 Aw, she's joshing. Of course she's Adelaid Adams. 652 00:46:49,557 --> 00:46:53,377 I brought her myself, didn't I? I ought to know. Not Adelaid Adams. 653 00:46:53,477 --> 00:46:55,375 [LAUGHING] 654 00:46:58,357 --> 00:47:02,720 Don't joke like that, Adelaid. These galoots ain't got no sense of humor. 655 00:47:02,820 --> 00:47:06,515 It's not a joke. I wish it were. 656 00:47:06,615 --> 00:47:08,467 [CLAMORING] 657 00:47:08,909 --> 00:47:12,772 Please don't be angry with me. I know I shouldn't have done it, but... 658 00:47:12,872 --> 00:47:16,901 Let's get this straight. You say you're not Adelaid Adams? 659 00:47:17,001 --> 00:47:19,737 No, ma'am. Uh, sir. 660 00:47:19,837 --> 00:47:23,282 I'm Katie Brown. 661 00:47:23,382 --> 00:47:25,701 Katie Brown? 662 00:47:27,136 --> 00:47:28,533 Calamity! 663 00:47:31,682 --> 00:47:34,335 You were Adelaid Adams in Chicago, in her dressing room. 664 00:47:34,435 --> 00:47:37,463 I was her maid. She gave me her costumes. 665 00:47:37,563 --> 00:47:41,964 She was going to Europe, and I wanted so badly to be on the stage. 666 00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:50,101 - Calamity framed it. - Yeah, bringing in Adelaide maid-. 667 00:47:50,201 --> 00:47:51,519 She ought to be run out of town. 668 00:47:51,619 --> 00:47:53,271 [SHOUTING AND BOOING] 669 00:47:53,371 --> 00:47:57,191 Fellows, listen. What's Adelaid Adams to us, anyhow? 670 00:47:57,291 --> 00:47:59,402 If this is a double-cross, all I gotta say... 671 00:47:59,502 --> 00:48:02,651 is you can double-cross me like this every day of the week. 672 00:48:05,758 --> 00:48:10,204 I didn't know. I thought she was Adelaid. I'm just as surprised as you are. 673 00:48:10,304 --> 00:48:13,157 So help me, Bill, I can't understand. 674 00:48:16,852 --> 00:48:20,131 Please don't blame Calamity. She didn't know. She didn't! 675 00:48:20,231 --> 00:48:24,385 I fooled her just as I tried to fool you. It's all my fault. 676 00:48:24,485 --> 00:48:26,804 I thought I could make you like me. 677 00:48:34,286 --> 00:48:36,309 Listen to me. 678 00:48:38,457 --> 00:48:40,184 Listen! 679 00:48:41,585 --> 00:48:46,191 Don't let her bull-nose you. She ain't getting away with it this time. 680 00:48:53,431 --> 00:48:56,455 There, now. That's better. 681 00:48:57,143 --> 00:49:00,167 Ain't you ashamed of yourselves, treating a lady this way? 682 00:49:00,271 --> 00:49:02,548 All right, so she ain't Adelaid Adams. 683 00:49:02,648 --> 00:49:05,468 She made off she was because she wanted to be an actress. 684 00:49:05,568 --> 00:49:08,721 And she thought maybe we'd give her that chance. 685 00:49:08,821 --> 00:49:13,392 What's wrong with that, anyhow? We're all here on the same ticket. 686 00:49:13,784 --> 00:49:16,437 You all came here to Deadwood looking for something... 687 00:49:16,537 --> 00:49:18,480 you couldn't find anywhere else. 688 00:49:18,622 --> 00:49:22,477 You're all looking for that pot of gold, and Katie here ain't no different. 689 00:49:23,461 --> 00:49:25,738 Well, what have you got to say? 690 00:49:25,838 --> 00:49:30,993 Are you going to grouch about a picture, or are you going to give a real live... 691 00:49:31,093 --> 00:49:34,955 and pretty young lady a chance to prove she belongs here? 692 00:49:35,055 --> 00:49:36,374 It's up to you. 693 00:49:36,474 --> 00:49:40,544 - As long as she's up there, let her sing. - All right, give her a chance. 694 00:49:40,644 --> 00:49:42,129 What do we've got to lose? 695 00:49:42,229 --> 00:49:44,081 [MEN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] 696 00:49:46,066 --> 00:49:49,428 That's all we want to hear. Let her rip, Katie Brown. 697 00:49:49,528 --> 00:49:52,472 Give it all you got. Do it your own way. 698 00:49:55,951 --> 00:49:57,678 Play. 699 00:50:02,583 --> 00:50:05,694 [SINGING] Well, now, if you've got a cutie Who's a real sweet patootie 700 00:50:05,794 --> 00:50:08,864 Better keep it under your hat 701 00:50:08,964 --> 00:50:12,493 Just remember curiosity in fables of old 702 00:50:12,593 --> 00:50:14,036 Killed the curious cat 703 00:50:14,720 --> 00:50:17,832 Supposin' you've got the laddie Who's a sweet sugar daddy 704 00:50:17,932 --> 00:50:20,960 Better take in the welcoming mat 705 00:50:21,060 --> 00:50:24,088 Remember there's a dozen dolls For every Dan 706 00:50:24,188 --> 00:50:27,174 You're not the only sweet pea In the can 707 00:50:27,274 --> 00:50:30,761 So if you wanna know the way To keep your man 708 00:50:30,861 --> 00:50:36,718 Keep it under your hat 709 00:51:09,149 --> 00:51:12,761 If you wanna know the way To keep your man 710 00:51:12,861 --> 00:51:15,805 Keep it under your hat 711 00:51:16,407 --> 00:51:18,259 Keep it under your hat 712 00:51:23,497 --> 00:51:26,317 Keep it under your hat 713 00:51:26,417 --> 00:51:28,019 [ALL CHEERING] 714 00:51:43,601 --> 00:51:49,629 She is great. Deadwood doesn't need no imported actress. We roll our own. 715 00:51:49,732 --> 00:51:51,254 [ALL LAUGHING] 716 00:51:51,775 --> 00:51:52,922 Let me loose! 717 00:51:55,654 --> 00:52:01,352 Let me loose. Quit it, Bill Hickok. So help me, I'll shoot your ears off. 718 00:52:01,452 --> 00:52:04,396 Quit it, I say. Let me loose. 719 00:52:04,496 --> 00:52:07,650 You hear what I say? Let me out of this. 720 00:52:07,750 --> 00:52:11,654 Bill Hickok, I'll get you, if it's the last thing I do. Let me down. 721 00:52:11,754 --> 00:52:15,157 You no-good sneaking sidewinder. Let me down out of here. 722 00:52:15,257 --> 00:52:18,369 Adelaid Adams, huh? And me in this squaw getup. 723 00:52:18,469 --> 00:52:21,664 You've got the biggest mouth in the whole Dakota Territory. 724 00:52:21,764 --> 00:52:24,663 You flap-eared varmint, let me down. 725 00:52:30,856 --> 00:52:35,553 You dirty, mangy, mole-legged, miserable son of a slinking coyote! 726 00:52:35,653 --> 00:52:37,380 Let me down out of here! 727 00:52:39,073 --> 00:52:42,427 Flap your wings, Calam, you can fly! 728 00:52:42,701 --> 00:52:44,562 Let me down! 729 00:52:44,662 --> 00:52:46,480 I'll get you for this. 730 00:53:02,930 --> 00:53:04,748 Here we go. 731 00:53:04,932 --> 00:53:08,669 BILL: You're leaving already, Miss Brown? You only opened last night. 732 00:53:08,769 --> 00:53:11,922 I'm sorry. I was hoping to get better acquainted. 733 00:53:12,022 --> 00:53:15,717 Getting better acquainted with him is like making a pet out of a polecat. 734 00:53:16,026 --> 00:53:18,429 I think that would be very nice, Mr. Hickok. 735 00:53:18,529 --> 00:53:20,639 It ain't likely I'll turn up in Chicago. 736 00:53:20,739 --> 00:53:23,601 Chicago? I'm not going to Chicago. 737 00:53:23,701 --> 00:53:25,728 You're not? Where are you going? 738 00:53:25,828 --> 00:53:28,647 It ain't none of your business, squaw man. 739 00:53:28,747 --> 00:53:31,317 I'm moving into Calamity's cabin with her. 740 00:53:31,417 --> 00:53:34,903 - You're what? - I brought her, and I'm responsible for her. 741 00:53:35,003 --> 00:53:37,698 - What's the matter with the hotel? - Nothing. 742 00:53:37,798 --> 00:53:41,869 There aren't many women in town and Calamity had the idea we should live together... 743 00:53:41,969 --> 00:53:43,746 and sort of chaperone each other. 744 00:53:43,846 --> 00:53:47,576 You chaperone Calam? And she...? 745 00:53:47,766 --> 00:53:49,627 [LAUGHING] 746 00:53:49,727 --> 00:53:51,587 Oh, this ought to be interesting. 747 00:53:51,687 --> 00:53:55,257 - We're mighty glad you approve. - Ha, ha. 748 00:53:55,524 --> 00:53:58,677 And, Mr. Hickok, please feel free to drop in any time. 749 00:53:58,777 --> 00:54:00,054 Thank you kindly, ma'am. 750 00:54:00,154 --> 00:54:01,639 Feel it, but don't try it. 751 00:54:01,739 --> 00:54:03,216 [BILL LAUGHING] 752 00:54:09,455 --> 00:54:11,982 - Come on in, Bill, I'll get you a drink. - No thanks. 753 00:54:12,082 --> 00:54:15,152 If I felt any higher, I'd be flying! 754 00:54:15,252 --> 00:54:18,652 Harry, come here. I want you to do something for me. 755 00:54:39,568 --> 00:54:44,098 [SINGING] My heart is higher than a hawk 756 00:54:44,198 --> 00:54:47,802 My love is deeper than a well 757 00:54:48,577 --> 00:54:51,897 I'm thinkin' in a little while 758 00:54:51,997 --> 00:54:55,852 My love and I'll be doin' very well 759 00:54:57,044 --> 00:55:00,614 An owl is givin' me the eye 760 00:55:00,714 --> 00:55:05,327 The wind is blowin' me a kiss 761 00:55:05,427 --> 00:55:09,331 I wouldn't be at all surprised 762 00:55:09,431 --> 00:55:14,378 If I were only dreamin' all of this 763 00:55:14,478 --> 00:55:18,257 And when I strut about like a Sunny Jim 764 00:55:18,357 --> 00:55:20,843 Dressed in yellow and red 765 00:55:20,943 --> 00:55:23,721 Folks'll shout, "Take a look at him 766 00:55:23,821 --> 00:55:27,721 He's touched in the head" 767 00:55:28,116 --> 00:55:32,354 I said that I would never fall 768 00:55:32,454 --> 00:55:36,525 I laughed at others when they fell 769 00:55:36,625 --> 00:55:42,281 And here I'm falling 770 00:55:42,381 --> 00:55:44,867 Higher than a hawk 771 00:55:44,967 --> 00:55:49,288 And deeper than a well 772 00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:57,755 And when we're all rigged out Like a birthday cake 773 00:55:57,855 --> 00:56:00,883 Eyes'll pop everywhere 774 00:56:00,983 --> 00:56:08,092 Folks'll shout, "Don't you think they make a wonderful pair?" 775 00:56:08,782 --> 00:56:14,688 I said that I would never fall 776 00:56:14,788 --> 00:56:19,318 But if you promise not to tell 777 00:56:19,418 --> 00:56:25,199 My love for you 778 00:56:25,299 --> 00:56:29,244 Is higher than a hawk 779 00:56:29,344 --> 00:56:34,826 And deeper than a well 780 00:56:49,615 --> 00:56:51,058 Ho. 781 00:56:51,241 --> 00:56:55,062 Well, there she sets. Just where I left her. 782 00:57:16,224 --> 00:57:18,877 I won that cabin from a Kansas fellow in a poker game. 783 00:57:18,977 --> 00:57:21,205 A week before he died of lead poisoning. 784 00:57:21,521 --> 00:57:22,965 Bill was in that game. 785 00:57:23,065 --> 00:57:24,550 [CALAMITY CHUCKLES] 786 00:57:24,650 --> 00:57:26,969 He lost everything but his fillings. 787 00:57:27,694 --> 00:57:30,556 - Oh. Let me help you down. - Thank you. 788 00:57:30,656 --> 00:57:33,433 Do you dislike Mr. Hickok as much as you pretend to? 789 00:57:33,533 --> 00:57:39,398 Dislike Bill? Me and Bill are thicker than flies in a Pawnee camp. 790 00:57:39,498 --> 00:57:43,648 We're like the seven-year itch to each other, but it's fun scratching. 791 00:57:44,419 --> 00:57:48,194 Yup, that Bill Hickok is about the best friend I ever had. 792 00:57:48,382 --> 00:57:50,450 Of course, my sparky taste... 793 00:57:50,550 --> 00:57:53,829 that kind of runs to blue uniforms and shiny buttons. 794 00:57:53,929 --> 00:57:57,829 - Like second lieutenants wear? - Like second... 795 00:57:58,809 --> 00:58:00,286 Lieutenants wear. 796 00:58:10,946 --> 00:58:12,889 Make yourself right at home. 797 00:58:16,785 --> 00:58:17,978 [SHRIEKS] 798 00:58:18,078 --> 00:58:19,187 Be careful. 799 00:58:19,287 --> 00:58:20,764 [CALAMITY CHUCKLES] 800 00:58:21,331 --> 00:58:26,528 Yep. You and me will batch it here as cozy as two bugs in a blanket. 801 00:58:27,754 --> 00:58:28,864 [COUGHING] 802 00:58:28,964 --> 00:58:30,616 Excuse me. 803 00:58:30,716 --> 00:58:32,868 I reckon it needs a little airing around here. 804 00:58:32,968 --> 00:58:35,704 Ain't used the place much, it's too lonesome. 805 00:58:35,804 --> 00:58:39,078 I like to bunk out in the open under a wagon or something. 806 00:58:39,808 --> 00:58:43,754 I know one thing we'll have plenty of: Home cooking. 807 00:58:43,854 --> 00:58:47,341 Just hand me a sack of flour and bacon grease... 808 00:58:47,441 --> 00:58:49,509 Looks like we're out of water. 809 00:58:49,860 --> 00:58:53,096 It's right handy though, I get it from the creek down there. 810 00:58:53,196 --> 00:58:55,549 That's one good thing about this place. 811 00:59:01,121 --> 00:59:03,895 No, I guess there's nothing good about it. 812 00:59:05,959 --> 00:59:07,606 I'm sorry, Katie. 813 00:59:08,003 --> 00:59:12,700 - Oh, it will be all right, Calam. Fine. - No, it won't. 814 00:59:13,300 --> 00:59:16,153 It ain't fit for a dog, let alone a lady. 815 00:59:16,803 --> 00:59:19,247 I didn't know it till you came in here. 816 00:59:20,140 --> 00:59:22,918 Just like I didn't know how far from being a lady I was... 817 00:59:23,018 --> 00:59:26,042 till I saw you in that dressing room in Chicago. 818 00:59:27,147 --> 00:59:32,253 What do I know about nice things? I ain't never had any. 819 00:59:34,696 --> 00:59:38,346 Come on, I'll drive you back to the hotel. 820 00:59:39,284 --> 00:59:41,186 I'm staying right here. 821 00:59:41,286 --> 00:59:43,188 In this rat's nest? 822 00:59:43,288 --> 00:59:49,277 We can fix it. Make it real nice. All it needs is a woman's touch. 823 00:59:49,377 --> 00:59:51,195 A woman's touch? 824 00:59:57,761 --> 00:59:59,413 [SINGING] A woman's touch 825 00:59:59,513 --> 01:00:01,123 A woman's touch 826 01:00:01,223 --> 01:00:04,459 The magic of Aladdin couldn't do as much 827 01:00:04,559 --> 01:00:06,169 She's a wizard, she's a champ 828 01:00:06,269 --> 01:00:08,872 And she doesn't need a lamp 829 01:00:10,607 --> 01:00:13,844 A woman's touch can weave a spell 830 01:00:13,944 --> 01:00:17,264 The kind of hocus pocus That she does so well 831 01:00:17,364 --> 01:00:18,932 With the magic of a broom 832 01:00:19,032 --> 01:00:21,931 You can mesmerize a room 833 01:00:26,456 --> 01:00:28,775 With a whisk, whisk here And a whisk, whisk there 834 01:00:28,875 --> 01:00:30,318 And a dustpan for the cinders 835 01:00:30,418 --> 01:00:33,989 With a rub-rub here and a rub-rub there You can polish up the windows 836 01:00:34,089 --> 01:00:36,033 Then presto, change-o 837 01:00:36,133 --> 01:00:41,371 Suddenly the sun comes shining through 838 01:00:41,471 --> 01:00:45,042 - And what does Mr. Sunshine say to you? - Howdy-do 839 01:00:45,142 --> 01:00:48,587 It makes you blink to stop and think 840 01:00:48,687 --> 01:00:54,009 A woman and a whisk-broom Can accomplish so darn much 841 01:00:54,109 --> 01:00:59,181 So never underestimate a woman's touch 842 01:01:42,699 --> 01:01:46,144 A woman's touch can quickly fill 843 01:01:46,244 --> 01:01:49,648 The empty flower boxes on a window sill 844 01:01:49,748 --> 01:01:51,441 One smile from her and zoom 845 01:01:51,541 --> 01:01:54,190 Little buds begin to bloom 846 01:02:02,802 --> 01:02:04,538 A touch of paint 847 01:02:04,638 --> 01:02:06,331 A magic nail 848 01:02:06,431 --> 01:02:09,793 Can turn a kitchen chair into a Chippendale 849 01:02:09,893 --> 01:02:11,503 Even make the lamp appear 850 01:02:11,603 --> 01:02:14,582 Like a crystal chandelier 851 01:02:15,982 --> 01:02:19,427 With a tack, tack here and a tack, tack there And a hand around a hammer 852 01:02:19,527 --> 01:02:24,224 With a mop, mop here and a mop, mop there You can give a cabin glamour 853 01:03:12,414 --> 01:03:15,734 Then gosh almighty, all at once 854 01:03:15,834 --> 01:03:19,654 The cabin that we knew 855 01:03:19,754 --> 01:03:24,242 Becomes a shining castle built for two 856 01:03:24,342 --> 01:03:26,911 Me and you 857 01:03:29,889 --> 01:03:33,335 The pies and cakes a woman bakes 858 01:03:33,435 --> 01:03:35,587 Can make a fellow tell her 859 01:03:35,687 --> 01:03:38,465 That he loves her very much 860 01:03:38,565 --> 01:03:40,258 It can? 861 01:03:40,358 --> 01:03:45,259 So never underestimate a woman's touch 862 01:03:52,078 --> 01:03:56,900 It's up to me? I'll bet $40. 863 01:03:59,377 --> 01:04:02,989 Howdy, Lieutenant. Uh, care to take a hand? 864 01:04:03,089 --> 01:04:05,863 Uh, not now, thanks. You see, uh... 865 01:04:06,426 --> 01:04:08,073 I'm looking for... 866 01:04:08,303 --> 01:04:10,952 - No, not now. - BILL: Hmm. 867 01:04:11,306 --> 01:04:14,330 It's up to you, Bill. Call or fold? 868 01:04:15,477 --> 01:04:18,380 - Where are you going? - The same place the lieutenant's going. 869 01:04:18,480 --> 01:04:20,753 Only I'm going to be there first. 870 01:04:22,192 --> 01:04:23,301 [BELL RINGING] 871 01:04:23,401 --> 01:04:27,430 All right, all right, I've got ears. I'm coming. 872 01:04:27,530 --> 01:04:31,017 - I'd like to see Miss Brown. - You and every other rooster in town. 873 01:04:31,117 --> 01:04:34,312 She's not staying here. She moved in with Calamity. 874 01:04:34,412 --> 01:04:37,391 Maybe I'd better have a sign painted. 875 01:04:38,541 --> 01:04:40,689 With Calamity? 876 01:05:10,115 --> 01:05:11,433 Where are you going, Calam? 877 01:05:11,533 --> 01:05:14,311 Herb Potter's got tick fever, he's at his cabin by himself. 878 01:05:14,411 --> 01:05:15,895 He needs some doing for him. 879 01:05:15,995 --> 01:05:17,272 No shoes? 880 01:05:17,372 --> 01:05:19,566 I can't wear shoes across the creek. 881 01:05:34,055 --> 01:05:35,248 Bill. 882 01:05:35,348 --> 01:05:37,500 - Hello, Katie. - Lieutenant. 883 01:05:37,600 --> 01:05:40,170 Say, that's a right smart harness you're wearing. 884 01:05:40,270 --> 01:05:42,922 You just keep on getting prettier and... 885 01:05:43,022 --> 01:05:44,544 Oh. 886 01:05:45,733 --> 01:05:50,597 - Here. - They're very nice. Calamity loves flowers. 887 01:05:50,697 --> 01:05:51,931 [BILL CHUCKLES] 888 01:05:52,031 --> 01:05:54,601 - The lieutenant never calls without them. - Wait. 889 01:05:54,701 --> 01:05:56,223 I brought them for... 890 01:05:56,536 --> 01:05:57,812 Where is Calamity? 891 01:05:57,912 --> 01:06:01,232 Up the hill visiting a sick prospector. Won't you come in? 892 01:06:01,332 --> 01:06:05,437 That's Calam, just can't resist a distress signal. 893 01:06:11,843 --> 01:06:15,747 - This ain't Calam's cabin. - It sure doesn't look like it. 894 01:06:15,847 --> 01:06:19,042 We fixed it up a little. Sit down and I'll make you some tea. 895 01:06:19,142 --> 01:06:20,585 It won't take a minute. 896 01:06:25,190 --> 01:06:28,214 Say, uh... lieutenant, don't they need you back at the fort? 897 01:06:28,485 --> 01:06:29,928 They'll manage. 898 01:06:31,863 --> 01:06:34,216 I thought you had a poker game going. 899 01:06:34,324 --> 01:06:36,518 There's always a poker game going. 900 01:06:37,535 --> 01:06:40,730 With the Cheyennes on the war path, folks would feel a heap safer... 901 01:06:40,830 --> 01:06:44,526 if you soldiers didn't gallivant around so much, wasting taxpayer's money. 902 01:06:44,626 --> 01:06:50,949 Nice of you to think of the taxpayers, after the money you cost them in funerals. 903 01:06:51,049 --> 01:06:52,366 Yeah. 904 01:07:04,229 --> 01:07:05,376 Oh, dear. 905 01:07:07,899 --> 01:07:10,468 I'm all out of wood. I'll have to go out and chop some. 906 01:07:10,568 --> 01:07:12,637 - I'll do it. - Here, let me. 907 01:07:12,737 --> 01:07:16,967 - I hate to trouble you, Bill. - No trouble at all, ma'am. 908 01:07:18,868 --> 01:07:20,345 [CHUCKLES] 909 01:07:23,540 --> 01:07:24,732 Katie. 910 01:07:24,832 --> 01:07:29,863 Uh, it was very thoughtful of you and Mr. Hickok to look in on us. 911 01:07:29,963 --> 01:07:37,072 But then, Deadwood is that kind of a town. I mean, everyone's so friendly and nice. 912 01:07:37,470 --> 01:07:42,083 Well, after the fool I made of myself the other night... 913 01:07:42,183 --> 01:07:44,919 the way they forgave me and let me go on. 914 01:07:45,019 --> 01:07:47,213 Anyone could forgive you anything, Katie. 915 01:07:48,189 --> 01:07:51,668 Not anything, lieutenant. And not Calamity. 916 01:07:51,859 --> 01:07:55,555 I don't know what idea you have about Calamity and me, but... 917 01:07:55,655 --> 01:07:58,008 It's not my idea, it's hers. 918 01:07:58,533 --> 01:07:59,934 She's in love with you. 919 01:08:00,034 --> 01:08:01,728 But that's ridiculous. 920 01:08:01,828 --> 01:08:05,565 We're friends, good friends. She even saved my life. 921 01:08:05,665 --> 01:08:09,611 - But you can't believe that I and she... - I like Calamity, lieutenant. 922 01:08:09,711 --> 01:08:11,196 She's been very good to me. 923 01:08:11,296 --> 01:08:14,991 I would no more think of coming between her and the man she loves... 924 01:08:15,091 --> 01:08:18,786 The man she loves? Katie, I swear I... 925 01:08:23,933 --> 01:08:26,586 Well, fancy that, it was there all the time. 926 01:08:26,686 --> 01:08:28,129 Danny, believe me... 927 01:08:28,938 --> 01:08:33,214 - Here we are. It didn't take long, did it? - Not long enough. 928 01:08:44,704 --> 01:08:47,432 The, uh... shawl, it fell o... 929 01:08:48,458 --> 01:08:50,652 Let's have tea. 930 01:08:56,424 --> 01:09:00,078 They've got a new commander at the fort, General Stark. He says he knows you. 931 01:09:00,178 --> 01:09:02,914 Yes, I served under him in Virginia during the war. 932 01:09:03,014 --> 01:09:06,125 They're having a ball in his honor Saturday night. I thought you... 933 01:09:06,225 --> 01:09:10,330 I've been invited myself. I kind of hoped you'd go with me, Katie. 934 01:09:10,647 --> 01:09:12,257 She is going with me. 935 01:09:12,357 --> 01:09:15,552 It's customary, lieutenant, to let the lady choose for herself. 936 01:09:15,777 --> 01:09:20,348 - Um, couldn't the, uh... four of us go together? - What four of us? 937 01:09:20,448 --> 01:09:24,227 Well, you, Bill, me and Calamity. 938 01:09:24,327 --> 01:09:26,429 [IN UNISON] Calamity? 939 01:09:27,955 --> 01:09:31,480 She's been invited too, and if she doesn't go, I won't either. 940 01:09:31,959 --> 01:09:34,687 She's been expecting you to ask her, lieutenant. 941 01:09:34,796 --> 01:09:37,240 - Me? Why me? I told you how I... - Ha, ha. 942 01:09:37,340 --> 01:09:39,576 That's a smart arrangement. Settles everything. 943 01:09:39,676 --> 01:09:41,911 Calam goes with the lieutenant, you go with me. 944 01:09:42,011 --> 01:09:43,830 Over my dead body. 945 01:09:43,930 --> 01:09:47,208 Get a little respect in your voice when you talk about Calam... 946 01:09:47,308 --> 01:09:49,661 or it might just be that way. 947 01:09:50,186 --> 01:09:52,088 - She's a mighty fine girl. - Girl? 948 01:09:52,188 --> 01:09:55,091 - You should be proud to take her. - You would be, wouldn't you? 949 01:09:55,191 --> 01:09:56,801 I sure would. 950 01:09:56,901 --> 01:10:00,263 Me? Wait, I ain't gonna be stampeded into no fast shuffle here. 951 01:10:00,363 --> 01:10:02,390 I know what you're thinking, both of you. 952 01:10:02,490 --> 01:10:05,351 Calamity's fine on top of a stagecoach or behind an ox team. 953 01:10:05,451 --> 01:10:09,272 But she's not lady enough for social appearances with distinguished gentlemen. 954 01:10:09,372 --> 01:10:11,600 Well, she ain't beautiful. 955 01:10:20,550 --> 01:10:24,996 Calamity's not beautiful? You boys have a big surprise in store for you. 956 01:10:25,430 --> 01:10:30,001 There's only one way to settle this, and that's to draw straws. 957 01:10:30,101 --> 01:10:33,296 The long straw gets Katie and the loser takes Calam. 958 01:10:33,396 --> 01:10:35,544 Is that all right with you, Katie? 959 01:10:36,149 --> 01:10:37,842 Draw, Lieutenant. 960 01:10:40,611 --> 01:10:42,472 I won! 961 01:10:42,572 --> 01:10:46,059 - I'll have the prettiest girl at the ball. - Don't bet on it. 962 01:10:46,159 --> 01:10:49,183 Bill, keep your eyes on that door. 963 01:10:53,291 --> 01:10:55,018 Calamity! 964 01:10:56,794 --> 01:10:59,363 I fell in that dangblasted creek! 965 01:10:59,839 --> 01:11:01,782 [DANNY & BILL CHUCKLE] 966 01:11:05,011 --> 01:11:07,747 Gosh almighty, look who's here. 967 01:11:07,847 --> 01:11:10,833 What brought you to this neck of the woods? 968 01:11:10,933 --> 01:11:12,251 Injun trouble? 969 01:11:12,351 --> 01:11:16,339 They came to ask you to go to the ball. 970 01:11:16,439 --> 01:11:18,337 Both of you? 971 01:11:18,608 --> 01:11:21,177 That's plumb flattering. 972 01:11:21,736 --> 01:11:26,307 - Only I can't go with both of you. - Uh, it's all right. We drew straws. 973 01:11:26,407 --> 01:11:28,810 You did? Who won? 974 01:11:28,910 --> 01:11:31,263 - Well... - I did, Calam. 975 01:11:31,370 --> 01:11:37,694 Oh. Oh, you did? Well, that's fine, Bill. That's mighty fine. 976 01:11:37,794 --> 01:11:39,946 Can't think who I'd rather tag along with. 977 01:11:40,046 --> 01:11:44,742 Try to get yourself cleaned up by Saturday, and I'll call for you. 978 01:11:44,842 --> 01:11:47,161 I hear tell it'll be a plumb fancy affair. 979 01:11:47,261 --> 01:11:50,957 Soldiers in dress uniforms, ladies in fancy gowns. 980 01:11:51,057 --> 01:11:53,376 I've never been to a big shindig like that. 981 01:11:53,476 --> 01:11:56,955 I reckon I'll burst my corset strings in the pride of just being asked. 982 01:11:57,563 --> 01:11:59,336 I'll fix you some tea. 983 01:12:00,358 --> 01:12:01,960 Danny. 984 01:12:03,653 --> 01:12:09,267 Ask Katie to go, Danny. I know you want to take me, but ask her. 985 01:12:09,367 --> 01:12:12,471 Do it for me, Danny, please. 986 01:12:12,912 --> 01:12:15,185 You're quite a lady, Calamity. 987 01:12:31,722 --> 01:12:35,668 - Did you have to wear that old army coat? - Old coat? 988 01:12:35,768 --> 01:12:38,588 It was Custer's, Bill. He gave it to me himself. 989 01:12:38,688 --> 01:12:42,425 If it's good enough for Custer, it ought to be good enough for Fort Scully. 990 01:12:42,525 --> 01:12:46,763 This ain't no scalping expedition against Sitting Bull. We're going to a ball. 991 01:12:46,863 --> 01:12:51,309 I know it. We sure got a night for it, ain't we, Bill? 992 01:12:51,534 --> 01:12:54,012 Don't it thrill you just to look at them hills? 993 01:12:54,203 --> 01:12:55,600 It sure does. 994 01:12:55,872 --> 01:13:00,352 No wonder the Injuns fight so fierce to hang on to this country. 995 01:13:08,551 --> 01:13:12,580 [SINGING] Take me back to the Black Hills 996 01:13:12,680 --> 01:13:16,250 The Black Hills of Dakota 997 01:13:16,350 --> 01:13:23,459 To the beautiful Indian country that I love 998 01:13:25,109 --> 01:13:29,263 Lost my heart in the Black Hills 999 01:13:29,363 --> 01:13:33,100 The Black Hills of Dakota 1000 01:13:33,200 --> 01:13:35,436 Where the pines are so high 1001 01:13:35,536 --> 01:13:40,650 That they kiss the sky above 1002 01:13:40,750 --> 01:13:46,030 ALL: And when I get that lonesome feelin' 1003 01:13:46,130 --> 01:13:50,743 And I'm miles away from home 1004 01:13:50,843 --> 01:13:55,164 I hear the voice of the mystic mountains 1005 01:13:55,264 --> 01:13:59,085 Calling me back home 1006 01:13:59,185 --> 01:14:03,714 - So take me back to the Black Hills - So take me back to the Black Hills 1007 01:14:03,814 --> 01:14:07,677 - The Black Hills of Dakota - The Black Hills of Dakota 1008 01:14:07,777 --> 01:14:14,886 - To the beautiful Indian country that I love - To the beautiful Indian country that I love 1009 01:14:21,082 --> 01:14:24,944 Take me back to the Black Hills 1010 01:14:25,044 --> 01:14:28,823 The Black Hills of Dakota 1011 01:14:28,923 --> 01:14:36,032 To the beautiful Indian country that I love 1012 01:14:37,640 --> 01:14:41,669 Lost my heart in the Black Hills 1013 01:14:41,769 --> 01:14:45,298 - The Black Hills of Dakota - The Black Hills of Dakota 1014 01:14:45,398 --> 01:14:48,092 - Where the pines are so high - Where the pines are so high 1015 01:14:48,192 --> 01:14:52,638 - That they kiss the sky above - That they kiss the sky above 1016 01:14:52,738 --> 01:14:58,227 - And when I get that lonesome feelin' - And when I get that lonesome feelin' 1017 01:14:58,327 --> 01:15:02,899 - And I'm miles away from home - And I'm miles away from home 1018 01:15:02,999 --> 01:15:07,320 - I hear the voice of the mystic mountains - I hear the voice of the mystic mountains 1019 01:15:07,420 --> 01:15:11,157 - Callin' me back home - Callin' me back home 1020 01:15:11,257 --> 01:15:15,870 So take me back to the Black Hills 1021 01:15:15,970 --> 01:15:19,370 The Black Hills of Dakota 1022 01:15:19,807 --> 01:15:26,916 To the beautiful Indian country that I love 1023 01:15:28,357 --> 01:15:34,472 - To the beautiful Indian country - To the beautiful Indian country 1024 01:15:34,572 --> 01:15:41,681 - That I love - That I love 1025 01:15:54,800 --> 01:15:58,325 [BAND PLAYING DANCE MUSIC] 1026 01:17:31,981 --> 01:17:33,924 That can't be Calamity. 1027 01:17:34,859 --> 01:17:36,632 Why, she's beautiful! 1028 01:17:37,862 --> 01:17:39,589 What happened to her? 1029 01:17:51,876 --> 01:17:53,319 MAN: Save one for me, Miss Calamity. 1030 01:17:53,419 --> 01:17:54,528 [MEN CHATTERING] 1031 01:17:54,628 --> 01:17:56,322 Wait a minute, fellows. 1032 01:17:56,422 --> 01:17:58,741 I can't get all your names on this here card. 1033 01:17:58,841 --> 01:18:00,159 I can't even spell most of them. 1034 01:18:00,259 --> 01:18:01,368 [MEN CHUCKLE] 1035 01:18:01,468 --> 01:18:02,703 That's all I got room for. 1036 01:18:02,803 --> 01:18:04,905 What you need is a bigger card! 1037 01:18:06,140 --> 01:18:09,335 Calamity has been holding out on us, carrying concealed weapons. 1038 01:18:09,435 --> 01:18:11,003 [CHUCKLES] 1039 01:18:11,854 --> 01:18:14,840 How come all these galoots want to dance with me? 1040 01:18:14,940 --> 01:18:17,343 At that shindig at Hogan's stable, none of them came around. 1041 01:18:17,443 --> 01:18:20,596 - They didn't, huh? - I spent the night chatting with the mules. 1042 01:18:20,696 --> 01:18:25,597 That's what I've been telling you, that you'd look better in a dress. 1043 01:18:26,243 --> 01:18:27,435 Do I, Danny? 1044 01:18:27,995 --> 01:18:30,063 You're an absolute vision, Calamity. 1045 01:18:30,289 --> 01:18:32,817 Calamity, is this dance open? 1046 01:18:32,917 --> 01:18:35,395 Well, I'm kind of saving this one. 1047 01:18:41,217 --> 01:18:43,160 Come on, Calam. 1048 01:18:48,474 --> 01:18:50,835 Danny hasn't even asked me for a dance. 1049 01:18:50,935 --> 01:18:55,916 I know. Katie and him are thicker than molasses. 1050 01:18:57,107 --> 01:18:59,255 - Bill, look there. - Hmm? 1051 01:19:04,281 --> 01:19:06,759 He's taking her out in the garden. 1052 01:19:16,502 --> 01:19:18,149 Katie. 1053 01:19:18,504 --> 01:19:20,698 Katie, darling. 1054 01:19:21,632 --> 01:19:23,405 Danny, we shouldn't. 1055 01:19:23,801 --> 01:19:25,574 I love you, Katie. 1056 01:19:26,387 --> 01:19:28,034 I... 1057 01:19:28,180 --> 01:19:29,907 Danny... 1058 01:19:31,392 --> 01:19:33,915 What about Calamity? 1059 01:19:36,063 --> 01:19:38,507 Calamity can be your bridesmaid. 1060 01:20:00,713 --> 01:20:02,156 BILL: Calam, wait. 1061 01:20:02,256 --> 01:20:04,617 - Where are you going? - Home. 1062 01:20:04,717 --> 01:20:06,535 I brought her here. Me. 1063 01:20:06,635 --> 01:20:10,414 All the way from Chicago. Just to make love to Danny. 1064 01:20:10,514 --> 01:20:15,878 So help me, this town ain't big enough for me and that flirting, man-rustling petticoat! 1065 01:20:15,978 --> 01:20:20,007 It ain't that serious. People always act silly at these sociables. 1066 01:20:20,107 --> 01:20:24,007 You saw them out in that garden. They weren't acting! 1067 01:20:36,165 --> 01:20:39,769 - Give me that gun. - Stand clear, Bill Hickok. 1068 01:20:40,502 --> 01:20:42,946 I don't see her anywhere, Danny. 1069 01:20:43,088 --> 01:20:46,533 You're the only person in the world who'd worry about Calamity. 1070 01:20:53,891 --> 01:20:55,664 [SCREAMS] 1071 01:20:57,019 --> 01:20:58,166 [MURMURING] 1072 01:21:06,612 --> 01:21:08,013 Bridesmaid, eh? 1073 01:21:08,113 --> 01:21:09,306 [CHATTERING] 1074 01:21:09,406 --> 01:21:12,976 - Are you all right? - Yes, I'm all right. 1075 01:21:14,912 --> 01:21:19,483 She ain't nothing but a miserable, two-timing claim jumper. 1076 01:21:20,334 --> 01:21:24,029 Oh! Help me get out of this dangblasted thing! 1077 01:21:24,463 --> 01:21:26,065 Well, stand still. 1078 01:21:26,632 --> 01:21:30,236 I even took her in my own cabin because I figured she'd need protection. 1079 01:21:30,886 --> 01:21:34,490 Like a weasel in a hencoop, she needs protection! 1080 01:21:43,982 --> 01:21:47,552 Throw that in with the rest of her man-traps. 1081 01:21:47,736 --> 01:21:51,432 And that! And that! 1082 01:21:51,532 --> 01:21:53,892 I bet it wasn't the first time she kissed him. 1083 01:21:53,992 --> 01:21:57,642 I bet it's been going on all the time. Here in my own cabin. 1084 01:21:58,330 --> 01:22:00,649 Gosh almighty, I'm dumb! 1085 01:22:01,375 --> 01:22:05,404 If you have to blame somebody, blame that pretty-boy lieutenant of yours. 1086 01:22:05,504 --> 01:22:08,824 It seems to me he was on the other end of the kissing. 1087 01:22:08,924 --> 01:22:11,702 She charmed him hog-eyed. 1088 01:22:11,802 --> 01:22:17,124 Look at these. Silk. Pure silk. I'll bet her mother spun them. 1089 01:22:19,351 --> 01:22:23,464 Here. Take them to her! Tell her to keep out of my sight! 1090 01:22:23,564 --> 01:22:26,342 So help me, Bill, if I ever see her again... 1091 01:22:26,442 --> 01:22:29,636 I'll put a bullet smack in the middle of that pretty face! 1092 01:22:29,736 --> 01:22:32,089 In both of them! 1093 01:22:32,448 --> 01:22:34,141 BILL: Ah. 1094 01:22:46,795 --> 01:22:48,647 [CRYING] 1095 01:22:51,508 --> 01:22:54,111 [BAND PLAYING CHEERFUL MUSIC] 1096 01:23:01,727 --> 01:23:04,671 [SINGING] When you turn to the subject of Harry 1097 01:23:04,771 --> 01:23:07,758 That's a horse from a different safari 1098 01:23:07,858 --> 01:23:10,131 He can box like a fox 1099 01:23:10,652 --> 01:23:13,096 He's as dumb as an ox 1100 01:23:13,197 --> 01:23:15,057 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 1101 01:23:15,157 --> 01:23:19,637 But it's Harry I'm planning to marry 1102 01:23:21,622 --> 01:23:24,525 When he flexes his muscles, I flutter 1103 01:23:24,625 --> 01:23:26,360 Like a butterfly caught in a shutter 1104 01:23:26,460 --> 01:23:29,738 - Sarsaparilla. - Calam, where have you been? 1105 01:23:29,838 --> 01:23:33,442 Katie said to tell you if you come in, she'd like to see you. 1106 01:23:33,842 --> 01:23:38,080 She's going to see me. Right now. 1107 01:23:38,180 --> 01:23:40,165 And it's Harry I'm planning to marry 1108 01:23:40,265 --> 01:23:42,333 There's going to be trouble. 1109 01:23:48,065 --> 01:23:51,260 My heart's twined around his suspenders 1110 01:23:51,360 --> 01:23:55,840 He's the one that I truly a... 1111 01:23:58,367 --> 01:23:59,764 What do you want, Calamity? 1112 01:24:00,202 --> 01:24:04,432 There's a stage leaving at noon tomorrow. Be on it. 1113 01:24:07,417 --> 01:24:09,190 Are you threatening me? 1114 01:24:09,503 --> 01:24:12,231 I'm warning you. 1115 01:24:17,469 --> 01:24:18,829 What is it? What's going on? 1116 01:24:18,929 --> 01:24:22,624 Calamity just warned Katie to get out of town. 1117 01:24:25,936 --> 01:24:27,880 Buck, lend me a gun. 1118 01:24:27,980 --> 01:24:29,832 [MURMURING] 1119 01:24:33,986 --> 01:24:35,884 Calamity. 1120 01:24:37,739 --> 01:24:40,137 Hold up your glass. 1121 01:24:49,167 --> 01:24:53,022 What's the matter? Afraid? 1122 01:25:13,650 --> 01:25:15,677 MAN: Katie's done it! 1123 01:25:15,777 --> 01:25:17,595 [MEN CHEERING] 1124 01:25:46,308 --> 01:25:48,544 Imagine Katie making a shot like that. 1125 01:25:48,644 --> 01:25:50,246 [CHUCKLES] 1126 01:25:58,820 --> 01:26:02,390 - Where are you going, Calam? Come here. - Leave me be. 1127 01:26:05,118 --> 01:26:08,267 - Get in that buggy. - Let go of me! 1128 01:26:08,413 --> 01:26:13,394 Get in there or I'll knock you senseless, if you had any sense. 1129 01:26:15,420 --> 01:26:18,364 Come on! Hyah! Hyah! 1130 01:26:26,014 --> 01:26:28,709 I've seen you do lots of crazy things... 1131 01:26:28,809 --> 01:26:32,462 but this is the first time I've seen you make a fool of yourself. 1132 01:26:32,562 --> 01:26:34,214 Sit down and listen. 1133 01:26:34,314 --> 01:26:35,799 You're a fake, Calam. 1134 01:26:35,899 --> 01:26:40,053 You dress, talk, ride and shoot like a man, but you think like a female. 1135 01:26:40,153 --> 01:26:43,432 Like a green-eyed, snarling, spitting female. 1136 01:26:43,532 --> 01:26:47,728 Katie beat you twice, out of your man and out of the respect you had around here. 1137 01:26:47,828 --> 01:26:49,688 And you helped her. 1138 01:26:49,788 --> 01:26:51,773 I did too. 1139 01:26:51,873 --> 01:26:56,778 She didn't shoot the glass out of your hand, I did. You needed a lesson. 1140 01:26:56,878 --> 01:26:59,281 Who are you to tell people who to love? 1141 01:26:59,381 --> 01:27:03,285 Suppose you did scare her out of town, would that get your lieutenant back? 1142 01:27:03,385 --> 01:27:07,035 Would that stop Katie from loving him, or him her? 1143 01:27:07,347 --> 01:27:09,290 That's female thinking. 1144 01:27:09,725 --> 01:27:13,204 He'd bring her back, and they would both hate you. 1145 01:27:15,188 --> 01:27:17,883 You had to lose tonight, Calam, or you'd never win again. 1146 01:27:17,983 --> 01:27:19,960 [SOBBING] 1147 01:27:27,033 --> 01:27:30,562 Go on, bawl. Admit you're a female. 1148 01:27:30,662 --> 01:27:36,019 Have your hysterics, get them over with. You'll feel better. 1149 01:27:36,251 --> 01:27:39,195 I was so plumb crazy about him. 1150 01:27:41,256 --> 01:27:45,031 I know. I felt the same way about her. 1151 01:27:46,720 --> 01:27:48,997 You mean, you're in love with Katie? 1152 01:27:49,097 --> 01:27:50,832 It's funny, ain't it? 1153 01:27:50,932 --> 01:27:54,332 - Bill, I'm sorry. I didn't know. - Aw. 1154 01:27:54,603 --> 01:27:55,955 That's all right. 1155 01:27:56,438 --> 01:28:00,884 It'll take some time, but I'll get over it. You will too. 1156 01:28:00,984 --> 01:28:05,339 - No, I won't. Not Danny. - Yes, you will. 1157 01:28:05,572 --> 01:28:08,934 All I've done for months is dream about him. 1158 01:28:09,034 --> 01:28:11,520 - Yeah? - Yeah. 1159 01:28:11,620 --> 01:28:15,850 About getting married, and building a cabin... 1160 01:28:16,208 --> 01:28:18,606 and having young'uns. 1161 01:28:20,128 --> 01:28:23,698 I know it sounds silly, I guess, but... 1162 01:28:24,132 --> 01:28:27,076 Bill, I really wanted all those things. 1163 01:28:27,677 --> 01:28:31,077 I was kind of hankering for them myself. 1164 01:28:33,308 --> 01:28:39,256 There'll never be another man like him. Not for me. Not ever. 1165 01:28:40,482 --> 01:28:44,962 It ain't going to be easy getting her out of my system either. 1166 01:28:46,780 --> 01:28:48,882 She was so beautiful and... 1167 01:28:51,034 --> 01:28:53,011 Beautiful and... 1168 01:29:02,879 --> 01:29:06,108 - Bill. - Calam. 1169 01:29:10,595 --> 01:29:15,121 Hey. What ever happened to that lieutenant you were telling me about? 1170 01:29:15,684 --> 01:29:18,253 I never heard of him. 1171 01:30:07,819 --> 01:30:14,928 [SINGING] Once I had a secret love 1172 01:30:15,368 --> 01:30:22,477 That lived within the heart of me 1173 01:30:24,210 --> 01:30:30,534 All too soon my secret love 1174 01:30:30,634 --> 01:30:37,743 Became impatient to be free 1175 01:30:39,851 --> 01:30:46,842 So I told a friendly star 1176 01:30:46,942 --> 01:30:54,051 The way that dreamers often do 1177 01:30:56,242 --> 01:31:03,024 Just how wonderful you are 1178 01:31:03,124 --> 01:31:10,153 And why I'm so in love with you 1179 01:31:12,759 --> 01:31:17,038 Now I shout it 1180 01:31:17,138 --> 01:31:23,628 From the highest hills 1181 01:31:23,728 --> 01:31:30,837 Even told the golden daffodils 1182 01:31:33,279 --> 01:31:40,388 At last my heart's an open door 1183 01:31:45,500 --> 01:31:51,281 And my secret love's no secret 1184 01:31:51,381 --> 01:31:57,621 Anymore 1185 01:31:57,721 --> 01:31:59,494 [HORSE WHINNIES] 1186 01:32:27,167 --> 01:32:31,404 Now I shout it 1187 01:32:31,504 --> 01:32:37,327 From the highest hills 1188 01:32:38,094 --> 01:32:45,203 Even told the golden daffodils 1189 01:32:47,771 --> 01:32:54,880 At last my heart's an open door 1190 01:32:59,949 --> 01:33:06,564 And my secret love's no secret 1191 01:33:06,664 --> 01:33:13,443 Anymore 1192 01:33:24,182 --> 01:33:26,284 Howdy, Flanagan. 1193 01:33:31,439 --> 01:33:34,793 Say, how's the claim panning out? 1194 01:33:38,822 --> 01:33:41,474 The way she acted, no wonder nobody will talk to her. 1195 01:33:41,574 --> 01:33:45,474 I hope she don't speak to me. I hate to insult women. 1196 01:33:48,540 --> 01:33:50,563 [CHATTERING] 1197 01:33:59,384 --> 01:34:03,239 Howdy, fellows. Morning, Billy. 1198 01:34:09,686 --> 01:34:13,416 - Howdy, Francis. - Hello, Calamity. 1199 01:34:13,898 --> 01:34:16,301 Have you seen Bill around here anywhere? 1200 01:34:16,401 --> 01:34:19,630 He and Colorado are out working their claim. 1201 01:34:20,196 --> 01:34:22,807 How come they're taking down them signs? 1202 01:34:22,907 --> 01:34:25,143 Katie's not here anymore. 1203 01:34:25,243 --> 01:34:26,686 Where is she? 1204 01:34:27,579 --> 01:34:32,317 She ain't been hurt? Is she sick? Tell me, Francis, where is she? 1205 01:34:32,417 --> 01:34:34,360 On her way back to Chicago. 1206 01:34:35,461 --> 01:34:37,734 Chicago? 1207 01:34:39,924 --> 01:34:43,036 You warned her to get out of town, didn't you? Well, she got. 1208 01:34:43,136 --> 01:34:45,997 But I didn't mean it! I was loco. 1209 01:34:46,097 --> 01:34:48,792 I didn't want her to go. That's what I came to tell her. 1210 01:34:48,892 --> 01:34:51,377 You're late. The stage left a half hour ago. 1211 01:34:51,477 --> 01:34:53,250 The town is going to miss that kid. 1212 01:34:53,354 --> 01:34:55,590 - MAN 1: We sure will. - MAN 2: Everybody will miss her. 1213 01:34:55,690 --> 01:34:58,802 I didn't think she'd go, I swear it. 1214 01:34:58,902 --> 01:35:03,848 She wasn't scared. She shot back at me. Why would she go away? Why? 1215 01:35:03,948 --> 01:35:06,101 Because she's a lady, Calamity. 1216 01:35:06,201 --> 01:35:11,064 She's not mean and selfish and never learned to wreck people's lives like... 1217 01:35:11,164 --> 01:35:13,566 Like me. Say it. 1218 01:35:13,666 --> 01:35:19,819 I don't have to say it. She left this note. It says everything. Listen. 1219 01:35:20,131 --> 01:35:23,284 "Dear Danny, Calamity loves you and..." 1220 01:35:23,384 --> 01:35:26,158 - But, I don't! - Shut up and listen! 1221 01:35:26,721 --> 01:35:29,374 "Calamity loves you and you probably love her. 1222 01:35:29,474 --> 01:35:34,546 I had no right to come between you. I love you both and want you to be happy. 1223 01:35:34,646 --> 01:35:37,549 Pretend it was Adelaid Adams who came to Deadwood. 1224 01:35:37,649 --> 01:35:42,971 Katie Brown never existed. She doesn't now. Goodbye, Danny." 1225 01:35:43,071 --> 01:35:44,722 Never existed? 1226 01:35:44,822 --> 01:35:48,426 She was the most real person in Deadwood. 1227 01:35:49,827 --> 01:35:54,899 Put them signs back up, Millie. I'm bringing that stage back here! 1228 01:36:14,102 --> 01:36:16,796 Hey, Calam, where are you going? 1229 01:36:21,359 --> 01:36:23,132 Come on! 1230 01:36:23,861 --> 01:36:27,265 I don't know what kind of life you'll have living with that catamount... 1231 01:36:27,365 --> 01:36:28,808 but it ain't gonna be dull. 1232 01:36:28,908 --> 01:36:30,305 That's for dang sure. 1233 01:36:30,410 --> 01:36:32,057 [BILL CHUCKLES] 1234 01:37:23,588 --> 01:37:25,406 CALAMITY: Hey, Rattlesnake. 1235 01:37:28,926 --> 01:37:31,745 Rattlesnake, stop. 1236 01:37:38,519 --> 01:37:41,214 Hot-headed old possum. Why don't you stop when I yell? 1237 01:37:41,314 --> 01:37:44,509 - I thought you was injuns. - Ugh. 1238 01:37:48,112 --> 01:37:51,349 Katie, I'm going to get married. 1239 01:37:51,449 --> 01:37:53,309 Congratulations. 1240 01:37:53,409 --> 01:37:55,353 Rattlesnake, stop this coach. 1241 01:37:55,453 --> 01:37:57,351 RATTLESNAKE: Whoa! Whoa, there! 1242 01:37:58,247 --> 01:38:00,566 But I'm going to be Mrs. Hickok. 1243 01:38:01,918 --> 01:38:05,488 Bill? But I thought you loved Danny. 1244 01:38:05,588 --> 01:38:10,660 Oh, that's female thinking. Nothing will get you into more trouble. 1245 01:38:10,760 --> 01:38:14,990 Well, where are we heading, Chicago or back to Deadwood? 1246 01:38:15,765 --> 01:38:17,993 Deadwood, Calam. Home. 1247 01:38:18,518 --> 01:38:20,712 - Katie. - Oh, Calam. 1248 01:38:22,480 --> 01:38:26,426 Females. Pure females. 1249 01:38:35,827 --> 01:38:42,936 [SINGING] Now I shout it from the highest hills 1250 01:38:44,252 --> 01:38:51,361 Even told the golden daffodils 1251 01:38:52,260 --> 01:38:59,369 At last my heart's an open door 1252 01:39:01,102 --> 01:39:07,925 And my secret love's no secret 1253 01:39:08,025 --> 01:39:14,053 Anymore 1254 01:39:14,782 --> 01:39:16,893 Ain't going back to the windy city 1255 01:39:16,993 --> 01:39:19,103 The windy city is mighty pretty 1256 01:39:19,203 --> 01:39:21,981 But it ain't got what I've got 1257 01:39:22,081 --> 01:39:23,900 I'm telling you, boys 1258 01:39:24,000 --> 01:39:28,237 I wouldn't trade this golden nugget 1259 01:39:28,337 --> 01:39:35,321 For the whole of Illinois 1260 01:39:40,892 --> 01:39:44,796 My heart is higher than a hawk 1261 01:39:44,896 --> 01:39:48,633 My love is deeper than a well 1262 01:39:48,733 --> 01:39:51,928 I'm thinkin' in a little while 1263 01:39:52,028 --> 01:39:57,134 My love and I'll be doin' very well 1264 01:39:57,492 --> 01:39:58,935 Hey. 1265 01:40:00,786 --> 01:40:02,063 What's this for? 1266 01:40:02,163 --> 01:40:05,775 Well, that's just in case any more actresses roll in from Chicago. 1267 01:40:05,875 --> 01:40:07,818 [ALL LAUGHING] 1268 01:40:26,938 --> 01:40:31,467 [SINGING] We'll be home tonight By the light of the silvery moon 1269 01:40:31,567 --> 01:40:35,717 And my hearts a-thumpin' Like a mandolin a-plunkin' a tune 1270 01:40:36,072 --> 01:40:39,809 - When we get home, we're fixin' to stay - When we get home, we're fixin' to stay 1271 01:40:39,909 --> 01:40:44,147 So whip crack away, whip crack away Whip crack away 1272 01:40:44,247 --> 01:40:48,693 ALL: Oh, the Deadwood stage Is a-rollin' on over the plains 1273 01:40:48,793 --> 01:40:53,281 With the curtains flappin' And the driver slappin' the reins 1274 01:40:53,381 --> 01:40:56,234 Beautiful sky, a wonderful day 1275 01:40:57,510 --> 01:41:01,660 Whip crack away, whip crack away Whip crack away 1276 01:41:06,727 --> 01:41:08,829 Whip crack away, whip crack away Whip crack away 99953