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1
00:00:02,203 --> 00:00:03,637
All right,
I'm getting my list together
2
00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:06,307
for my annual Costco trip:
3
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:09,510
cheese doodles, cheese balls,
cheese puffs, cheese curls...
4
00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:11,979
What am I missing?
5
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,381
Cheese.
6
00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:15,015
What would I do without you?
7
00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:18,152
Not have cheese.
8
00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:20,721
Fleetwood Mac!
9
00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:22,156
Oh, this is fun.
10
00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:23,824
Are we just hollering out
band names?
11
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,926
Sugar Ray!
12
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:28,162
No, no, no. Remember, I got
you, me, and Charlie tickets
13
00:00:28,196 --> 00:00:30,598
to the Fleetwood Mac
farewell tour for tonight.
14
00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:33,834
Oh, yay, so much fun.
15
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,436
I can't go.
16
00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:39,707
My ex-wife Bonnie is coming in
from Texas to meet John.
17
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:41,909
But I did pay you
for the tickets, didn't I?
18
00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:45,079
-No, you didn't.
-Oh, thank God.
19
00:00:45,113 --> 00:00:46,914
But we're still going,
right, Margaret?
20
00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:49,917
I mean, I lent Christine McVie
a sweater back in 1972.
21
00:00:49,950 --> 00:00:51,919
-I'd like to get it back.
-Well, yes,
22
00:00:51,952 --> 00:00:53,787
we're going. I cleaned out
my daughter's college fund
23
00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:54,955
to pay for these tickets.
24
00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:56,257
I mean, she's 35 years old.
25
00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:59,059
I think that ship has sailed.
26
00:00:59,093 --> 00:01:01,229
Anyway, I'm gonna go check out
the Shady Meadows van,
27
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:03,564
-and we should be good to go.
-HANK: Uh, sorry, Margaret,
28
00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:06,400
the big van has been checked out
by the big man.
29
00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:08,269
I'm going to Costco.
30
00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:09,903
Ooh, that reminds me.
31
00:01:09,937 --> 00:01:11,305
Here's five dollars.
32
00:01:11,339 --> 00:01:14,808
Would you get me
a hundred pairs of socks? Tube.
33
00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:16,777
But, Hank, this is great.
Sid just bailed.
34
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:19,213
You can take his ticket
and drive us to Fleetwood Mac.
35
00:01:19,247 --> 00:01:21,315
Fleetwood Mac?
I hate that guy.
36
00:01:21,349 --> 00:01:22,950
It's not a guy, it's a group.
37
00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:24,952
All right.
I hate those guys.
38
00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:26,654
Oh, come on, Hank. Please?
39
00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:29,056
My daughter was conceived
at a Fleetwood Mac concert.
40
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,459
That's why her middle name
is Tusk.
41
00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:33,827
Anyway,
it's their farewell tour,
42
00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:35,763
and they're my favorite band
of all time.
43
00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:37,765
All right,
but we going shopping first.
44
00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:40,268
And I get 80%
of all your free samples.
45
00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:42,936
Okay, 70%. I'm not a monster.
46
00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:44,972
-(phone chimes)
-Oh!
47
00:01:45,005 --> 00:01:46,807
Bonnie is already here.
48
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,443
Oh, I hope she and John
get along.
49
00:01:49,477 --> 00:01:53,080
It may be a rom-com cliché,
but I want my ex-wife
50
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,416
and my boyfriend
to like each other.
51
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:58,186
There's my little man.
52
00:01:58,219 --> 00:01:59,453
(laughs)
53
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:05,193
You come here, you munchkin.
54
00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:07,195
Get yourself a face full
of Bonbon.
55
00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:09,630
(Sid grunts)
56
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:11,265
(screams)
57
00:02:11,299 --> 00:02:14,435
I forgot how much air
I need just to hug you.
58
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:15,836
(both laugh)
59
00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:18,005
Are those hugs
going around the table?
60
00:02:18,038 --> 00:02:21,242
'Cause I can hold my breath
an awfully long time.
61
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,479
*
62
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,535
MARGARET:
Check me out.
63
00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:51,372
-My Stevie Nicks outfit
still fits. -Whoa.
64
00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:54,342
Course, then again,
I guess blousy witch clothing
65
00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:56,544
-always does.
-(both laugh)
66
00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:57,978
So, are you ready to party?
67
00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,647
Oh, yeah, I am.
I got us covered.
68
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:03,251
I got some weed gummies
and some joints.
69
00:03:03,284 --> 00:03:05,886
-(chuckles): Mm-hmm.
-And some weed gummies
70
00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,889
and some joints.
71
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:12,393
-I started already.
-(laughs)
72
00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:14,695
I'm packing a bunch
of airplane tequila bottles.
73
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,697
It's my last chance
to see Fleetwood Mac
74
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:19,900
and I am gonna be lit.
75
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:22,903
All right, before we head out,
I've laid down some ground rules
76
00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:24,438
for the Shady Meadow van.
77
00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:27,408
Since when does the Shady
Meadows van have rules?
78
00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:30,244
Patty Soupkins checks it out
every single week so she
79
00:03:30,278 --> 00:03:32,646
and her boyfriend can have sex
out there in the parking lot.
80
00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:37,385
Well, that may be, but I just
got my van privileges back
81
00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:39,353
after that unfortunate incident
82
00:03:39,387 --> 00:03:41,121
where, through no fault
of my own,
83
00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:44,157
I drove a golf cart through
the wall in the dining hall.
84
00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:48,128
No food in the van.
85
00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:50,898
No drink in the van.
86
00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:54,234
No loud talking in the van.
87
00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:58,939
Come on, Hank. We're going to a
concert, not a church retreat.
88
00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:00,774
Don't ruin this for me.
89
00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:03,210
We should be cutting loose.
Who knows?
90
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,913
I might take my top off and let
the girls breathe. (chuckles)
91
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:07,981
CHARLIE:
Yeah, come on, Hank, chill out.
92
00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:10,618
You're harshing our buzz.
93
00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:13,954
Nobody should be buzzing
in this van.
94
00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:18,125
Unless y'all plan
on bringing bees.
95
00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:22,129
No bees.
96
00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:23,564
And, uh, definitely no drugs.
97
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,265
My van, my rules.
98
00:04:25,299 --> 00:04:27,267
-Okay, you got it.
-Yeah, we don't...
99
00:04:27,301 --> 00:04:31,138
we don't have anything.
M-Music is our drug.
100
00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:32,973
Don't make me frisk you two.
101
00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:36,444
I will be thorough,
but I will not be gentle.
102
00:04:36,477 --> 00:04:39,647
Okay. Here.
103
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:42,282
That's all of it.
104
00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:49,357
You are going to love John.
105
00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:52,159
He is so handsome and smart.
106
00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:53,994
He was on Jeopardy! once.
107
00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:57,297
That's right,
front row of the audience.
108
00:04:57,331 --> 00:05:00,434
Well, you keep going on
and on and on about him.
109
00:05:00,468 --> 00:05:04,037
I'm almost just a little bit
extremely jealous.
110
00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:06,273
There he is.
111
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,376
Ooh!
112
00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:10,878
My boyfriend is meeting my wife.
113
00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:12,713
I feel so French.
114
00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:14,848
Bonnie, meet Johnny.
115
00:05:14,882 --> 00:05:16,884
It's so nice to finally
meet you.
116
00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:18,719
Wow! You're a knockout.
117
00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:20,854
I know. Yeah.
118
00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:22,823
-And you're not so bad yourself.
-Thanks.
119
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:24,858
Isn't he cute?
120
00:05:24,892 --> 00:05:28,729
John just moved back
from a very prestigious job
121
00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,130
in Atlanta.
122
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,165
-Ah...
-Tell her
123
00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:35,703
about your prestigious job,
John.
124
00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:38,539
I worked at the CDC
as a caterer.
125
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:43,911
Oh, I love Atlanta.
126
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:46,380
Yeah, we, uh, went there
for our anniversary last year.
127
00:05:46,414 --> 00:05:50,584
Wait, you guys still celebrate
your anniversary?
128
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:52,586
-Every year.
-(chuckles): What?
129
00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:54,722
Yeah, we make a great team.
130
00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:57,825
-Hmm... Ah.
-Yeah, we were cheerleaders together in high school.
131
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:01,395
I was the base of the pyramid
and he was the top.
132
00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:04,698
I've had a lot of great times
on top of this lady.
133
00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:07,067
-If only!
-(both laugh)
134
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,703
Ah! Oh, oh...
135
00:06:09,737 --> 00:06:12,372
Oh, isn't he hilarious?
Oh, wait, watch this.
136
00:06:12,406 --> 00:06:14,408
Hey, Sid, make a funny face.
137
00:06:14,442 --> 00:06:15,843
(chuckles):
Okay. Uh...
138
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:18,245
(grunting)
139
00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:20,881
BONNIE (laughing):
Oh, my God,
140
00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:23,250
gold! 24-karat gold!
141
00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:28,889
You guys get along so well
together, it's almost a shame
142
00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:31,625
that you ever got divorced.
143
00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:34,127
Oh, yeah-- well, we're not.
No, we're still married.
144
00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:36,797
I'm sorry, what?
145
00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:44,204
So, I guess...
146
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,039
I'm a little confused.
147
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,141
You two are still married?
148
00:06:48,175 --> 00:06:51,445
Well, define "married."
149
00:06:51,479 --> 00:06:54,314
Being married.
150
00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:57,751
Oh, well, then, yes.
151
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:02,656
Ooh, you're jealous.
152
00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:04,758
You feel like my mistress.
153
00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:07,394
My dirty little side piece.
154
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:10,998
Uh, the Marilyn to my JFK.
155
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:14,401
I am not jealous.
156
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:18,739
And between the two of us,
you are definitely the Marilyn.
157
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,842
And that is why we work.
158
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:25,613
Look, I know my relationship
with Bonnie is unconventional,
159
00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,781
-but it works for us.
-(groans)
160
00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:29,783
Changing that would hurt her.
161
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:32,419
I feel I've already
hurt her enough.
162
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,522
-What are you talking about?
-I feel guilty
163
00:07:34,555 --> 00:07:37,758
that I pretended
to be straight for decades.
164
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:42,162
She thought she was getting G.I.
Joe, but she got Malibu Ken.
165
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:44,331
Well, don't you think
166
00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:47,167
you're hurting her by keeping
her stuck in the past?
167
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,770
I mean, has she even had
a relationship since you?
168
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:52,606
Not really. Well, there was
this one really great guy,
169
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:55,609
but he dumped her when he found
out we were still married.
170
00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:57,645
Oh...
171
00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:02,482
-Oh...
-Sid.
172
00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:05,686
I don't want to force you
to do anything
173
00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:07,187
that you don't want to do.
174
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,956
-But don't you think...
-No, no, no.
175
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,558
You're right.
176
00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:13,861
We should have done this
a long time ago.
177
00:08:13,894 --> 00:08:16,830
I'm gonna ask her for a divorce.
178
00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:17,898
Okay.
179
00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:21,234
You don't happen to have
a helmet, do you?
180
00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:24,504
She's got a Southern temper,
I got a soft head.
181
00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:30,744
What the hell, Hank?
182
00:08:30,778 --> 00:08:33,146
I thought you said it was gonna
be a quick trip to Costco.
183
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,481
That took forever.
184
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:38,251
We watched you get an eye exam.
185
00:08:38,285 --> 00:08:40,187
Can we at least
turn on some music
186
00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:42,255
-and get this party started?
-HANK: You got it.
187
00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:45,158
(music playing faintly)
188
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:48,929
Maybe at a volume
that humans can hear?
189
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,764
Oh, sure. I turn the music up,
then I start doing
190
00:08:50,798 --> 00:08:52,199
a little dance
in the front seat.
191
00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:53,601
Next thing you know,
we're plummeting
192
00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:55,402
off a bridge to our death.
193
00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:56,904
And on top of all of that,
194
00:08:56,937 --> 00:09:00,073
I lose my Shady Meadow
van privileges.
195
00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:03,844
This sucks, right?
196
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:06,346
Big time. We have no tequila,
we have no weed,
197
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,281
we're gonna miss the opening act
198
00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:11,384
'cause Grandpa Moses up there
won't go over 35.
199
00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:12,886
All right, brace yourselves,
everybody.
200
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:17,457
We may be coming
to a speed bump.
201
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:20,427
You know, I think I can solve
one of those problems.
202
00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:24,031
I have a... a secret stash
of gummies.
203
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:27,134
Oh, my God, Charlie,
this is amazing.
204
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:29,236
A little less amazing that you
pulled it out of your crotch,
205
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:30,638
but I'm desperate.
206
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:32,806
Yeah, they should be
nice and warm.
207
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,643
Yeah, they're a little too warm.
Are you okay?
208
00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:37,244
What's going on back there?
Y'all eating?
209
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:40,413
You know the rules.
No eating in the van.
210
00:09:40,447 --> 00:09:42,883
I am not gonna let him
ruin this night.
211
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,085
Here, Hank, want some candy?
212
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:48,455
Uh, yeah. Amendment to that
previous rule:
213
00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:50,724
the driver's allowed to eat.
(clears throat)
214
00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:51,825
Especially candy.
215
00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:53,493
Ooh.
216
00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:55,996
It's nice and warm.
217
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,665
But he's driving.
218
00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:59,399
It's one little gummy--
it won't even kick in
219
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:00,701
till we get there.
(chuckles)
220
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:05,839
-(sighs)
-Oh, crap.
221
00:10:10,510 --> 00:10:13,146
What is going on
with your feet, Bonnie?
222
00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:17,751
I've never seen a pedicurist
tap out before.
223
00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:20,487
Oh, come on, honey.
You know me.
224
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,823
My toes are
like a carton of eggs.
225
00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:25,726
All 12 went bad
at the same time.
226
00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:30,864
Now, Sid, you said you wanted
to talk to me about something.
227
00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:32,299
What is it?
228
00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:35,168
Why don't we whip up some juleps
229
00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:37,537
and I'll rub
your shoulders first?
230
00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:38,972
(laughs):
Aw...
231
00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:42,309
Are you trying
to knock me up again?
232
00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:46,146
Ha! You, madam, are a card.
233
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:49,282
And that card, madam,
is the Joker,
234
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:52,485
which is the funniest
of the cards.
235
00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:55,155
However, you're also my queen.
236
00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:56,456
(chuckles)
237
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:59,059
Pick a card, any card.
238
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:02,495
Oh, regardless, you are aces.
239
00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:06,399
Come on, Sid. Spit it out.
I know when you're stalling.
240
00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:10,237
I think we should get a divorce.
241
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:15,575
Hmm...
242
00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:18,912
Is that a good "hmm"
or a bad "hmm"?
243
00:11:18,946 --> 00:11:22,115
Oh, I think it's a bad "hmm."
244
00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:25,919
You don't want
to be married to me?
245
00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:27,755
Oh, my God, I'm gonna faint.
246
00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:30,023
-The walls are closing in.
-(shatters)
247
00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:31,925
Bonnie, calm down, please.
248
00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:34,728
-Or at least break
some of my cheaper items. -Oh, my God.
249
00:11:34,762 --> 00:11:36,496
Oh!
250
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,265
How can I calm down
when you're trying
251
00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:40,000
to cut me out of your life?
252
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,369
I don't want you out of my life.
253
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:45,038
-(exclaims) Then why are you
saying all of this? -(item shatters)
254
00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:47,875
Because... because I'm...
255
00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:50,310
John is making me.
256
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:55,849
John?
257
00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:57,785
BONNIE:
Oh, my God.
258
00:11:57,818 --> 00:12:00,353
I shouldn't have spent
all this money
259
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:02,355
on this pedicure...
260
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:05,926
when I'm gonna
break my foot off in his ass.
261
00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:07,260
No, Bonnie, no.
262
00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:10,864
He doesn't even live here,
thank God.
263
00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:12,365
Hey, it's me, John.
264
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:13,834
(screams)
265
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:24,711
John told you to divorce me?
266
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,881
-Oh, I'm gonna rip him
limb from limb. -No, no, wait, wait!
267
00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:29,616
I'm on your side!
268
00:12:29,649 --> 00:12:32,085
He does deserve
a good limb-ripping.
269
00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:34,788
But you just got
your nails done.
270
00:12:34,822 --> 00:12:36,924
So why don't you
let me handle it.
271
00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:39,292
You stay put. Stay.
272
00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:41,094
Hey, sweetie.
273
00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:43,263
Oh, so you're coming out here.
274
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:47,567
Well, I wanted to tell you
the good news...
275
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,269
-What?
-...before we went inside.
276
00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:51,738
I told Bonnie about the divorce.
277
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,306
And she loved it.
278
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:59,346
She is a big fan of yours,
by the way.
279
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:02,615
Oh, I think you two are gonna be
so much happier this way.
280
00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:05,252
So much happier.
281
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,954
Oh, she is so...
282
00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:09,622
friggin' happy in there.
283
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:11,424
-Okay.
-(clicks tongue)
284
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,827
Having said that...
285
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:20,133
...um, let's not mention
the divorce.
286
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:23,003
-No?
-I'm worried about her getting too happy.
287
00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:25,305
Okay, um...
288
00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:26,874
yeah, could we, um...
289
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:29,943
go inside, or, or are we
just hallway people now?
290
00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:31,278
Oh, oh, dude,
291
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:34,014
we are going in there
so, so soon.
292
00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:36,149
Just give me one sec.
293
00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:37,851
I love you.
Lost a little weight?
294
00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:39,853
Have you?
295
00:13:40,888 --> 00:13:43,823
Welp, I bitched him out.
296
00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:47,394
I told him to mind
his own beeswax.
297
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:50,830
Long story short, he loved it.
298
00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:54,001
Big fan of yours, by the way.
299
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:56,836
-Oh...
-Anyhoo.
300
00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:59,907
Guess there's no reason
to talk about the divorce
301
00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:02,976
now that it's been handled,
but just give me one sec.
302
00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:05,913
Oh, and here he comes.
(chuckles)
303
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:08,181
Just walked right in.
Uh, that's fine.
304
00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:09,482
Little rude.
305
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:12,052
Sid, your place looks wrecked.
306
00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:15,188
-Oh. His house is wrecked?
-Mm-hmm.
307
00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:17,824
Oh, ironic,
coming from someone like you.
308
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,359
-Whore.
-Oh!
309
00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:21,694
Okay, hold on,
did I do something wrong?
310
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:24,264
Yeah. You forced him to ask for
311
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:25,765
a divorce
that he doesn't even want.
312
00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:27,267
-What?
-What are you talking about?
313
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,002
I didn't force him
to do anything.
314
00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:30,237
And this is what he wants.
315
00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:32,405
(high-pitched):
What?!
316
00:14:33,806 --> 00:14:36,376
Well, this is great.
317
00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:38,345
My gummy hasn't kicked in,
318
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,347
the concert is starting,
and we're stuck here
319
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,049
on the side of the road
with this space cadet
320
00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:44,551
who is too high to drive.
321
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,386
Hank, where are the keys?
322
00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:48,855
Have my hands
always been this huge?
323
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,224
I got Hulk-like hands
up in here.
324
00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:54,294
I think I can lift
this submarine.
325
00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:55,862
I'm doing it!
326
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,098
It's not even that heavy.
327
00:14:58,131 --> 00:15:01,568
Did he just say submarine?
328
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,603
Hi, fishy.
329
00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:08,141
Okay, I got this.
I'm gonna talk him down.
330
00:15:08,175 --> 00:15:09,409
Get those keys back.
331
00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:12,779
Back in the day,
I guided John Belushi,
332
00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:14,881
Jimi Hendrix,
and Jim Morrison through
333
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,984
some pretty gnarly waters.
334
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:18,986
Those people are all dead,
Charlie.
335
00:15:19,019 --> 00:15:20,920
From drug overdoses.
336
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:26,893
Hey, buddy.
337
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,328
I'm the captain of this vessel.
338
00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:30,797
You will refer to me as "sir."
339
00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:32,932
Well, um... (clears throat)
340
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:34,968
Here's the deal, sir.
341
00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:38,405
Um, you may have,
through no fault of your own,
342
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,107
ingested some marijuana.
343
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:43,276
But, luckily, I am here to help.
344
00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:45,645
And the submarine
that you're captaining
345
00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:46,980
is full of snacks.
346
00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:48,348
So if you want to feel better,
347
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:50,583
-eat something.
-You sure?
348
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,819
Can I get
a depth reading, please?
349
00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:54,954
Hank, we promise, he's right.
350
00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:56,923
Eating is the ticket.
351
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:57,924
-Okay, I'll eat the tickets.
-N-No!
352
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:58,992
No, no, no, no.
353
00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:00,293
-No, no, no, no.
-No, no, no.
354
00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:03,663
You're right,
I'm feeling better already.
355
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:06,499
-(Margaret groans)
-Oh, no.
356
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:16,276
There you are.
357
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:19,346
I've been looking
everywhere for you.
358
00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:22,315
Yeah, I came out here
to calm down
359
00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:24,051
and dip my feet in the pool.
360
00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:27,187
But they asked me
to take 'em out.
361
00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:29,322
Can we talk?
362
00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:32,125
This is all my fault.
363
00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:33,960
I should have been
honest with you.
364
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,462
And not hid behind John.
365
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:38,298
But I don't want
to hurt you anymore.
366
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:42,001
I feel like I've already
ruined your life.
367
00:16:42,035 --> 00:16:45,004
Is that what you think?
368
00:16:45,038 --> 00:16:47,674
You didn't ruin my life.
369
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:49,976
You made it great.
370
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,479
You made me laugh every day
371
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,381
and you gave me a perfect son.
372
00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:56,916
He is great.
373
00:16:56,949 --> 00:16:59,586
(chuckles) Thank you
for getting me blackout drunk
374
00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:01,521
-all those years ago.
-Oh.
375
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:04,257
Well, that's what wives are for.
376
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:08,195
It makes me so sad that now
377
00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:09,696
you want me out of your life.
378
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:12,065
No, I don't want that at all.
379
00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:15,001
I want you to be able
to move on.
380
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:18,338
You are a mega babe.
381
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:21,408
You could still find
that big love.
382
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:23,410
I just don't want
to stand in your way.
383
00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:26,213
And I don't want
to stand in your way, either.
384
00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:28,948
I mean, John is great.
385
00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:30,550
And, you know, I-I think...
386
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,085
we really have been just,
you know,
387
00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:35,021
a teensy bit codependent.
388
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:37,124
Just because we're getting
a divorce doesn't mean
389
00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:39,592
that we won't always be family.
390
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:42,028
-(Bonnie gasps)
-I love you, Bonbon.
391
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,463
BONNIE:
Aw.
392
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:45,465
Will you make me
393
00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:47,634
the happiest man in the world
394
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:51,271
and become my ex-wife?
395
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:52,872
I will.
396
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:54,274
-(muffled giggle)
-I will.
397
00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:55,708
(laughs)
398
00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:57,710
(muffled yelping, gasping)
399
00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:59,312
Damn, girl!
400
00:17:59,346 --> 00:18:01,047
Whoo, those are lethal.
401
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,450
You fogged me up.
402
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:07,720
Well, I guess I'm not gonna get
403
00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:10,390
my sweater back
from Christine McVie.
404
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,625
I'm not gonna get to see
Fleetwood Mac
405
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:14,461
-for the last time.
-(chuckles)
406
00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:17,897
Well, technically, you did see
them for the last time.
407
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,466
The last time you saw them.
408
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:23,170
You just didn't know
that was the last time, so...
409
00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:24,771
-This isn't helping, is it?
-No.
410
00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:26,939
It's not just the concert.
411
00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:29,176
Just, we're getting
to the point in our lives
412
00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:32,145
where there are gonna be
a lot of last times.
413
00:18:32,179 --> 00:18:35,081
I guess that's one way
to look at it.
414
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,116
Or you could look at it
415
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:40,587
as tonight was a night
of first times.
416
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:43,256
First time we got Hank high.
417
00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:45,492
(chuckling):
First time we bought
418
00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:48,161
a bunch of toilet paper
together.
419
00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:50,497
Um, first time we missed
a concert
420
00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:52,765
because Hank ate the tickets.
421
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:56,002
You know, we're gonna have
a lot of first times together.
422
00:18:56,035 --> 00:18:57,704
Focus on that.
423
00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:59,939
I can't focus
on anything right now.
424
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:01,841
Oh, my speech blew your mind?
425
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:04,377
(laughing):
No, my gummy just kicked in.
426
00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:06,613
Wowza.
427
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:09,482
-("We Built This City"
by Starship playing) -Charlie, Margaret.
428
00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:11,318
I found some of that
Fleetwood Mac on the radio.
429
00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:13,386
I finally get
why you like that guy.
430
00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:16,289
Wait a minute.
This isn't Fleetwood Mac.
431
00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:17,490
-Oh, let him have it.
-(laughs)
432
00:19:17,524 --> 00:19:20,026
* We built this city *
433
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:22,729
* We built this city on *
434
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:25,398
-(straining): * Fleetwood Mac! *
-(Margaret laughs)
435
00:19:25,432 --> 00:19:27,700
* We built this city *
436
00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:31,003
* We built this city
on rock and roll *
437
00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:32,605
* Built this city *
438
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,975
* We built this city *
439
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:39,078
* On rock and roll *
440
00:19:39,111 --> 00:19:40,913
* We built this city *
441
00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:44,651
* We built this city *
442
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,586
* On rock and roll *
443
00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:48,588
* Built this city *
444
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:50,523
* We built this city *
445
00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:53,159
* On rock and roll *
446
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,262
* Built this city *
447
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:57,096
* We built this city *
448
00:19:57,129 --> 00:19:59,832
* On rock and roll *
449
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:02,001
* Built this city. *
450
00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:04,437
You take good care of my Sid.
451
00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:06,172
Oh, I will, I promise.
452
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:07,674
And thank you for, you know,
453
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:10,843
divorcing my boyfriend.
454
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:14,914
Well, look at these dopeheads.
455
00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:18,117
Did y'all go
a little cuckoo bananas?
456
00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:21,020
Well, I'm wearing a trash bag,
so I think you can guess.
457
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,290
Oh, Margaret, I didn't notice.
458
00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:25,925
I thought for sure
you had worn that before.
459
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,629
All right, everybody.
460
00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:31,564
I'm off to the airport.
461
00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:33,766
Oh, Sid, can you believe it?
462
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,135
I'm a single lady now.
463
00:20:36,168 --> 00:20:38,271
-(Bonnie chuckles)
-Is that right?
464
00:20:38,305 --> 00:20:39,739
Well, if you need a ride,
465
00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:42,742
uh, I got a retirement community
rental van
466
00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:44,911
for another hour.
467
00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:49,048
No, I'm good.
468
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:51,618
What if I told you
there's a 40-pound block
469
00:20:51,651 --> 00:20:53,753
of cheddar cheese in the back?
470
00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:57,657
I'll see you in the van.
471
00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:59,692
(Hank laughing)
472
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:05,064
Sid, I love you. Mwah.
473
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:06,666
-Goodbye, everybody.
-CHARLIE: Bye.
474
00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:09,836
(clears throat)
Is he okay to drive?
475
00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:11,804
Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's sober now.
476
00:21:11,838 --> 00:21:14,774
Which will only make
the rejection harder.
477
00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:17,009
Poor Hank.
478
00:21:17,043 --> 00:21:20,447
Trying to please a woman
who's already had the best.
479
00:21:26,453 --> 00:21:28,988
Where is he going?
480
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:31,290
That's pretty good.
481
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:35,227
Captioned by
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482
00:21:35,277 --> 00:21:39,827
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