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1
00:00:08,724 --> 00:00:11,413
[water dripping]
2
00:00:11,482 --> 00:00:14,413
[playful music]
3
00:00:14,482 --> 00:00:16,931
♪ ♪
4
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,862
[desk scraping]
5
00:00:18,931 --> 00:00:20,827
♪ ♪
6
00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:23,896
[water dripping]
7
00:00:23,965 --> 00:00:25,413
♪ ♪
8
00:00:25,482 --> 00:00:27,000
- Are you kidding me?
9
00:00:27,068 --> 00:00:28,724
[desk scraping]
10
00:00:28,793 --> 00:00:31,068
[water dripping]
11
00:00:31,137 --> 00:00:33,068
[desk scraping]
12
00:00:33,137 --> 00:00:35,896
♪ ♪
13
00:00:35,965 --> 00:00:38,172
[sighs]
14
00:00:41,931 --> 00:00:44,000
Happy Valentine's Day to me.
15
00:00:44,068 --> 00:00:47,758
♪ ♪
16
00:00:47,827 --> 00:00:49,724
This hellhole.
17
00:00:49,793 --> 00:00:51,896
[rock music]
18
00:00:51,965 --> 00:00:54,862
- ♪ Teacher ♪
19
00:00:54,931 --> 00:00:56,068
- This year, I'm gonna have
20
00:00:56,137 --> 00:00:57,482
each of the students
make a valentine
21
00:00:57,551 --> 00:00:59,034
for everyone in their class.
22
00:00:59,103 --> 00:01:00,482
That way, they all
get to feel special.
23
00:01:00,551 --> 00:01:02,724
- Cecelia, you're an idiot.
24
00:01:02,793 --> 00:01:04,413
V-Day is a time
in a child's life
25
00:01:04,482 --> 00:01:06,448
when they find out
if they're worthy of love.
26
00:01:06,517 --> 00:01:08,689
Don't interfere with
nature's course.
27
00:01:08,758 --> 00:01:10,068
[horn honking]
- Oh, crap.
28
00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:11,206
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
- Oh, no.
29
00:01:11,275 --> 00:01:12,344
- Yay, it's Willy Schmiedler!
30
00:01:12,413 --> 00:01:13,344
Hi, Willy!
31
00:01:13,413 --> 00:01:14,517
- Mary Louise, don't!
32
00:01:14,586 --> 00:01:16,103
People like you are the reason
33
00:01:16,172 --> 00:01:18,379
that bag of cholesterol comes
to the school every year
34
00:01:18,448 --> 00:01:20,724
to sell us one of his
lame ass TV carts.
35
00:01:20,793 --> 00:01:23,448
- Seriously. We can't even
afford hand soap.
36
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:24,724
I've diluted mine so many times
37
00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:26,034
it doesn't even foam anymore.
38
00:01:26,103 --> 00:01:27,413
- I love Willy.
39
00:01:27,482 --> 00:01:30,620
He once sold a TV cart
to Barry Gibb's mother.
40
00:01:30,689 --> 00:01:33,172
Barry Gibb!
41
00:01:33,241 --> 00:01:35,000
- Hello!
42
00:01:35,068 --> 00:01:36,965
- Oh, no.
- Uh-uh.
43
00:01:37,034 --> 00:01:38,413
- Heidy-ho, Willy.
44
00:01:38,482 --> 00:01:41,758
Ooh, you're wearing
your lucky sales tie.
45
00:01:41,827 --> 00:01:46,689
♪ ♪
46
00:01:46,758 --> 00:01:47,689
- "Too cute."
47
00:01:47,758 --> 00:01:49,034
Duh.
48
00:01:49,103 --> 00:01:52,068
- Are you and Kyle doing
anything special tonight?
49
00:01:52,137 --> 00:01:53,827
all: Ooh!
50
00:01:53,896 --> 00:01:55,275
- You guys!
51
00:01:55,344 --> 00:01:56,965
Stop! [giggling]
52
00:01:57,034 --> 00:01:58,103
But, yes, Kyle's planning
53
00:01:58,172 --> 00:01:59,482
a very special surprise for me.
54
00:01:59,551 --> 00:02:01,275
I imagine something small,
like dinner
55
00:02:01,344 --> 00:02:02,655
that's candle-lit
56
00:02:02,724 --> 00:02:04,000
on a yacht that's
privately chartered
57
00:02:04,068 --> 00:02:06,275
and fireworks
that spell my name.
58
00:02:06,344 --> 00:02:07,793
But honestly,
I am super laid-back,
59
00:02:07,862 --> 00:02:09,310
so I'd be fine with whatever.
60
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:10,655
- When are we going
to meet him?
61
00:02:10,724 --> 00:02:12,344
- Friday at the
Valentine's social.
62
00:02:12,413 --> 00:02:13,344
But play it cool
63
00:02:13,413 --> 00:02:14,379
and act like you've never
64
00:02:14,448 --> 00:02:15,793
heard of him before, okay?
65
00:02:15,862 --> 00:02:17,344
Let's practice.
I'll be Kyle.
66
00:02:17,413 --> 00:02:18,586
[as Kyle] Hey, everybody.
67
00:02:18,655 --> 00:02:20,103
- I hope you and Ms. Snap
get married!
68
00:02:20,172 --> 00:02:23,172
- Delia, we have talked
about your thirst.
69
00:02:23,241 --> 00:02:25,103
Take a timeout.
70
00:02:25,172 --> 00:02:26,931
♪ ♪
71
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:29,310
- Now raise your hand
if you've ever lugged
72
00:02:29,379 --> 00:02:31,896
an unwieldy television
into a classroom.
73
00:02:31,965 --> 00:02:32,965
Hmm?
74
00:02:33,034 --> 00:02:34,379
- I for sure have.
75
00:02:34,448 --> 00:02:35,793
- Ah. What if I was to tell you
76
00:02:35,862 --> 00:02:37,413
you would never
have to do that again?
77
00:02:37,482 --> 00:02:38,620
- What?
78
00:02:38,689 --> 00:02:39,827
How?
79
00:02:39,896 --> 00:02:42,793
- By using a fucking TV cart,
Mary Louise.
80
00:02:42,862 --> 00:02:43,965
- Is anyone else's
ceiling leaking?
81
00:02:44,034 --> 00:02:45,241
- No.
82
00:02:45,310 --> 00:02:46,793
- Mine won't stop.
And Mavis says
83
00:02:46,862 --> 00:02:48,103
the school doesn't have
enough money to fix it
84
00:02:48,172 --> 00:02:49,137
so now I have to spend the rest
85
00:02:49,206 --> 00:02:50,310
of the year in a classroom
86
00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:51,344
that looks like the boiler room
87
00:02:51,413 --> 00:02:52,793
of the "Titanic."
88
00:02:52,862 --> 00:02:54,448
- Don't worry
about that squeaking.
89
00:02:54,517 --> 00:02:56,551
A little WD-40 and this baby
90
00:02:56,620 --> 00:02:59,068
will be running smoother
than your daddy's Caddy.
91
00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:00,241
- I can stop by
and take a look.
92
00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:01,344
My dad used to let me help
93
00:03:01,413 --> 00:03:02,655
with repairs around the house.
94
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:05,655
It was his way of accepting
my lesbianism.
95
00:03:05,724 --> 00:03:08,862
Turns out I was just
unpopular with both sexes.
96
00:03:08,931 --> 00:03:10,103
- Thanks.
97
00:03:10,172 --> 00:03:12,310
- Turkey, turkey, turkey!
98
00:03:12,379 --> 00:03:14,034
- Hey, that's mine,
Schmiedler!
99
00:03:14,103 --> 00:03:16,724
It literally says "Caroline"
on the Pyrex.
100
00:03:16,793 --> 00:03:19,793
- I thought it said "communal."
101
00:03:19,862 --> 00:03:21,758
- I can't believe
you let him back in here
102
00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:24,103
after I successfully convinced
him last year
103
00:03:24,172 --> 00:03:25,689
this was a women's bathroom.
104
00:03:25,758 --> 00:03:27,586
- Yeah, this loser
has gotta go.
105
00:03:27,655 --> 00:03:28,620
- But he's just
doing his job.
106
00:03:28,689 --> 00:03:30,413
- Which is now obsolete.
107
00:03:30,482 --> 00:03:32,172
He's wasting his time,
Mary Louise.
108
00:03:32,241 --> 00:03:33,517
You need to tell him.
109
00:03:33,586 --> 00:03:35,310
Sometimes it's kinder
to be honest.
110
00:03:35,379 --> 00:03:37,103
- Fine.
111
00:03:37,172 --> 00:03:38,310
- [grunts]
112
00:03:38,379 --> 00:03:39,413
- I'll talk to him.
113
00:03:39,482 --> 00:03:40,758
- Hey, is this up for grabs?
114
00:03:40,827 --> 00:03:42,413
- If it's got someone's
name on it,
115
00:03:42,482 --> 00:03:44,034
it is not.
116
00:03:44,103 --> 00:03:45,241
- Deeb?
117
00:03:45,310 --> 00:03:50,000
♪ ♪
118
00:03:50,068 --> 00:03:51,793
- Oh, my God.
119
00:03:51,862 --> 00:03:54,931
- Oh, hey!
I stopped the leaks.
120
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:58,068
But when I was up there
121
00:03:58,137 --> 00:03:59,551
I found a crap-ton of mold.
122
00:03:59,620 --> 00:04:01,689
So it might be a little longer
than I thought.
123
00:04:01,758 --> 00:04:03,379
- Well, as long as
it's done in time
124
00:04:03,448 --> 00:04:04,896
for the Valentine's Day social.
125
00:04:04,965 --> 00:04:06,896
Parents will be here.
- Deb.
126
00:04:06,965 --> 00:04:09,482
Why is my linoleum
all ripped up?
127
00:04:09,551 --> 00:04:11,206
I asked you to change
one lightbulb.
128
00:04:11,275 --> 00:04:13,000
- It turns out you also have
129
00:04:13,068 --> 00:04:15,655
what we call in the business
a floor issue.
130
00:04:15,724 --> 00:04:17,172
It all needs to be replaced.
131
00:04:17,241 --> 00:04:18,379
But don't worry, I got a guy.
132
00:04:18,448 --> 00:04:20,310
[phone ringing]
133
00:04:20,379 --> 00:04:23,448
Oh, speak of the devil.
134
00:04:23,517 --> 00:04:26,172
Talk to me, Stosh.
135
00:04:26,241 --> 00:04:29,172
Yeah, it's a go.
136
00:04:32,551 --> 00:04:34,793
- Happy Valentine's Day,
Caroline.
137
00:04:34,862 --> 00:04:38,620
- Happy Valentine's Day, Toby.
138
00:04:41,344 --> 00:04:42,862
- I like your new headband.
139
00:04:42,931 --> 00:04:46,103
The floret is masterfully done.
140
00:04:46,172 --> 00:04:47,172
- Thank you.
141
00:04:47,241 --> 00:04:48,344
I've been waiting all day
142
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:49,448
for somebody to notice.
143
00:04:49,517 --> 00:04:51,482
- Well, I noticed.
144
00:04:51,551 --> 00:04:54,517
- [chuckles]
145
00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:57,517
- Okay.
146
00:04:57,586 --> 00:04:59,931
Bye-bye now.
147
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,172
- Bye.
148
00:05:04,275 --> 00:05:05,724
[knocking, door opening]
149
00:05:05,793 --> 00:05:08,241
- [gasps] Kyle!
Ah!
150
00:05:08,310 --> 00:05:09,275
Hi, hi, hi!
151
00:05:09,344 --> 00:05:10,793
- Don't you look nice!
152
00:05:10,862 --> 00:05:12,379
- Aw.
153
00:05:12,448 --> 00:05:13,896
- Happy Valentine's Day.
154
00:05:13,965 --> 00:05:14,793
- Oh, thanks.
155
00:05:14,862 --> 00:05:17,206
So what are we gonna do?
156
00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:18,517
- You said you didn't want
to do anything.
157
00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:19,931
- No, I didn't.
158
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,724
- What do you want to do
for Valentine's Day?
159
00:05:21,793 --> 00:05:23,482
- Ew. Nothing.
160
00:05:23,551 --> 00:05:24,793
- I feel like
we should do something.
161
00:05:24,862 --> 00:05:26,103
- Seriously, let's not.
162
00:05:26,172 --> 00:05:27,551
- We should at least
go out to dinner.
163
00:05:27,620 --> 00:05:29,137
- God, what is your obsession
164
00:05:29,206 --> 00:05:30,586
with that lame holiday?
165
00:05:30,655 --> 00:05:31,620
Stop bringing it up.
166
00:05:31,689 --> 00:05:33,275
I don't want to do anything!
167
00:05:33,344 --> 00:05:35,517
Oh, well,
obviously I was lying
168
00:05:35,586 --> 00:05:36,931
and you should
have known that.
169
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,310
- That makes absolutely
no sense.
170
00:05:38,379 --> 00:05:39,551
- [groans]
171
00:05:39,620 --> 00:05:41,896
Now what am I gonna tell
my students?
172
00:05:41,965 --> 00:05:43,482
They're all at home
following my Twitter
173
00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:44,896
for updates on the big night!
174
00:05:44,965 --> 00:05:47,379
- I'm not a mind reader,
Chels.
175
00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:49,655
You gotta communicate
and tell me what you want,
176
00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:50,931
not a bunch of eight-year-olds.
177
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,379
Hey, you gotta be
honest with me.
178
00:05:53,448 --> 00:05:54,931
- Well, at least
when I tell them
179
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,620
I don't need daily compliments
on how low my BMI must be,
180
00:05:57,689 --> 00:06:00,172
they know to do it anyway.
181
00:06:00,241 --> 00:06:02,931
- Okay. Look.
182
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:06,172
I'm sorry I didn't
plan anything.
183
00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:07,310
- It's fine.
184
00:06:07,379 --> 00:06:08,310
- Okay, good.
185
00:06:08,379 --> 00:06:09,862
- I'm lying, Kyle!
186
00:06:09,931 --> 00:06:11,551
No one has let me down
this badly
187
00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:13,655
since my dad told me
he'd be right back!
188
00:06:13,724 --> 00:06:15,103
♪ ♪
189
00:06:17,655 --> 00:06:19,379
[rock music]
190
00:06:19,448 --> 00:06:20,862
- I don't know.
191
00:06:20,931 --> 00:06:22,310
It just really hurt
my feelings, you know,
192
00:06:22,379 --> 00:06:24,137
because, like, I know I said
not to do anything,
193
00:06:24,206 --> 00:06:26,137
but I, like, wanted him to,
you know?
194
00:06:26,206 --> 00:06:28,172
- We know, Ms. Snap.
195
00:06:28,241 --> 00:06:29,379
[knock at door]
196
00:06:29,448 --> 00:06:30,655
- Excuse me.
197
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,241
I have a very special delivery
198
00:06:32,310 --> 00:06:33,448
for a very special lady.
199
00:06:33,517 --> 00:06:35,379
- Oh, my God.
It's Kyle.
200
00:06:35,448 --> 00:06:36,379
Kyle's here!
201
00:06:36,448 --> 00:06:37,758
- Excuse her.
202
00:06:37,827 --> 00:06:39,206
Some of the girls
are clearly parched
203
00:06:39,275 --> 00:06:41,793
from being so thirsty.
204
00:06:41,862 --> 00:06:43,310
What are you doing here?
205
00:06:43,379 --> 00:06:44,896
- I'm really sorry
about last night.
206
00:06:44,965 --> 00:06:46,448
I should have known
you were lying
207
00:06:46,517 --> 00:06:47,655
and just planned
something anyway.
208
00:06:47,724 --> 00:06:48,931
- No, it's my fault.
209
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:49,758
I'm so sorry.
210
00:06:49,827 --> 00:06:51,344
I was being unrealistic.
211
00:06:51,413 --> 00:06:53,310
I don't know how we would have
gotten a helicopter
212
00:06:53,379 --> 00:06:54,379
in my apartment's courtyard.
213
00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:55,551
- Let me make it up to you.
214
00:06:55,620 --> 00:06:56,758
I want to take you out.
215
00:06:56,827 --> 00:06:58,172
And to make sure
that I get it right,
216
00:06:58,241 --> 00:07:00,689
I want you to tell me
exactly what you want to do
217
00:07:00,758 --> 00:07:01,689
and we'll do it.
218
00:07:01,758 --> 00:07:03,482
- Really?
- Yep.
219
00:07:03,551 --> 00:07:06,103
So, uh, are you gonna
introduce me?
220
00:07:06,172 --> 00:07:07,758
- Yes.
221
00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:10,551
Class, this is Kyle.
Kyle, class.
222
00:07:10,620 --> 00:07:12,172
- Oh, hello, Kyle.
223
00:07:12,241 --> 00:07:15,172
Valentine's Day flowers
the day after?
224
00:07:15,241 --> 00:07:17,689
I'm sure the sale was great.
225
00:07:17,758 --> 00:07:20,310
♪ ♪
226
00:07:20,379 --> 00:07:21,827
- There's my favorite girl!
227
00:07:21,896 --> 00:07:24,793
I'm having a hard time chasing
you guys down this year.
228
00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:26,206
Either you guys
are getting faster
229
00:07:26,275 --> 00:07:27,862
or I'm getting slower.
230
00:07:27,931 --> 00:07:30,551
- Willy, I need to talk to you.
231
00:07:30,620 --> 00:07:33,034
- Oh, some interest!
232
00:07:33,103 --> 00:07:36,137
[cart squeaking]
233
00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:37,862
I take the Venmo now.
234
00:07:37,931 --> 00:07:39,724
So you just have
to walk me through it.
235
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:42,068
- No. No one's gonna buy
a TV cart.
236
00:07:42,137 --> 00:07:43,655
- Did I tell you you can put
snacks on the bottom?
237
00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:44,931
- We don't even use
TVs anymore.
238
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,379
- Okay, but if your granny
comes over
239
00:07:46,448 --> 00:07:48,448
you can stick her on top,
use it as a wheelchair.
240
00:07:48,517 --> 00:07:49,793
- Willy, no one's gonna--
241
00:07:49,862 --> 00:07:51,379
- Put a motor on it
and drive it to school.
242
00:07:51,448 --> 00:07:53,482
- It's done, Willy!
243
00:07:53,551 --> 00:07:56,206
God, it's over.
244
00:07:56,275 --> 00:07:59,275
The era of the TV cart
has passed, and...
245
00:07:59,344 --> 00:08:01,793
it's time to move on.
246
00:08:03,586 --> 00:08:05,517
- Okay, I...
247
00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:07,379
I hear what you're saying.
248
00:08:07,448 --> 00:08:09,827
It's just that after 52 years,
I never thought
249
00:08:09,896 --> 00:08:12,344
I'd go out this way.
250
00:08:12,413 --> 00:08:13,965
Hey, I'll tell you what.
251
00:08:14,034 --> 00:08:16,689
Why don't you take
this old girl?
252
00:08:16,758 --> 00:08:18,965
I'm not gonna be
needing her anymore.
253
00:08:19,034 --> 00:08:21,379
- Oh. Thank you, Willy.
254
00:08:21,448 --> 00:08:24,206
I'd be honored.
255
00:08:24,275 --> 00:08:26,034
♪ ♪
256
00:08:26,103 --> 00:08:28,206
[drill whirring]
- It's just weird, you know?
257
00:08:28,275 --> 00:08:31,034
Last Valentine's Day
was so much fun.
258
00:08:31,103 --> 00:08:32,758
Toby hired a caricature artist
259
00:08:32,827 --> 00:08:34,482
to come to the apartment
to draw us.
260
00:08:34,551 --> 00:08:36,551
So I think I'm gonna
261
00:08:36,620 --> 00:08:38,137
give him this card.
262
00:08:38,206 --> 00:08:39,724
[drill whirring]
263
00:08:39,793 --> 00:08:41,103
But I don't know.
264
00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:43,482
Is it strange to give
your ex a valentine?
265
00:08:43,551 --> 00:08:44,655
Or is it thoughtful?
266
00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:46,965
It's not desperate, is it?
267
00:08:47,034 --> 00:08:48,793
It's just that we've finally
gotten to a good place.
268
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,448
I don't want to ruin anything.
269
00:08:50,517 --> 00:08:51,482
[drill whirring]
270
00:08:51,551 --> 00:08:52,827
Deb.
271
00:08:52,896 --> 00:08:54,586
Are you listening
to any of this?
272
00:08:54,655 --> 00:08:56,241
- Yeah, I am.
273
00:08:56,310 --> 00:08:58,137
It's called multitasking.
274
00:08:58,206 --> 00:09:00,344
Sit on the card,
see if he gives you one first.
275
00:09:00,413 --> 00:09:01,551
If he does, give it to him.
276
00:09:01,620 --> 00:09:02,793
If he doesn't, toss it.
277
00:09:02,862 --> 00:09:04,034
That's the only way
you're guaranteed
278
00:09:04,103 --> 00:09:06,482
to avoid looking like
an awkward loser.
279
00:09:06,551 --> 00:09:07,758
[drill whirring]
280
00:09:07,827 --> 00:09:10,758
[dance music]
281
00:09:10,827 --> 00:09:12,172
♪ ♪
282
00:09:12,241 --> 00:09:13,448
- I gotta say,
283
00:09:13,517 --> 00:09:15,310
this is the last thing
I expected you to choose.
284
00:09:15,379 --> 00:09:18,206
- Oh, pole dancing is seriously
an amazing workout.
285
00:09:18,275 --> 00:09:19,551
- I bet it is.
286
00:09:19,620 --> 00:09:21,724
- And it is great your boots
have a little heel.
287
00:09:21,793 --> 00:09:22,931
It's gonna give you a good lift
288
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,689
in all the right places.
289
00:09:24,758 --> 00:09:26,068
- Okay, everyone.
290
00:09:26,137 --> 00:09:28,965
Welcome to Cardio Pole Dance.
- Whoo!
291
00:09:29,034 --> 00:09:31,724
- Oh, looks like we have
someone new today.
292
00:09:31,793 --> 00:09:35,034
Let's all clap it out for...
293
00:09:35,103 --> 00:09:36,965
- Kyle.
294
00:09:37,034 --> 00:09:38,448
- Okay, let's get started.
295
00:09:38,517 --> 00:09:43,000
Everyone, pole-walk it out
for ten seconds.
296
00:09:43,068 --> 00:09:45,206
Now grab the pole
with your right hand
297
00:09:45,275 --> 00:09:46,482
and swing clockwise,
298
00:09:46,551 --> 00:09:47,517
throwing your head back,
299
00:09:47,586 --> 00:09:48,482
letting your hair cascade
300
00:09:48,551 --> 00:09:49,586
down your back.
301
00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:51,620
Yes! Yes!
302
00:09:51,689 --> 00:09:53,689
Okay, let's take it up a notch.
303
00:09:53,758 --> 00:09:57,275
Tighten those tushes
and flip upside down.
304
00:09:57,344 --> 00:09:58,724
- [grunting]
305
00:09:58,793 --> 00:10:00,896
[indistinct chatter]
306
00:10:00,965 --> 00:10:03,586
- So are you obsessed?
307
00:10:03,655 --> 00:10:04,620
- So obsessed.
308
00:10:04,689 --> 00:10:05,620
- Really?
309
00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:06,896
- Totally. I loved it.
310
00:10:06,965 --> 00:10:08,655
It was surprisingly liberating
311
00:10:08,724 --> 00:10:10,310
to slap my own ass.
312
00:10:10,379 --> 00:10:11,793
- That means so much to me.
313
00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:13,310
A lot of people think
pole dancing
314
00:10:13,379 --> 00:10:15,827
can be a skanky, slutty
way to exercise.
315
00:10:15,896 --> 00:10:17,655
Thank you for being
so open-minded.
316
00:10:17,724 --> 00:10:19,034
You can choose the next date.
317
00:10:19,103 --> 00:10:21,827
- Mm.
- Mwah.
318
00:10:21,896 --> 00:10:23,482
-Whoo!
- Agh!
319
00:10:23,551 --> 00:10:24,793
Be gentle!
320
00:10:24,862 --> 00:10:28,931
♪ ♪
321
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,724
- Why is it so quiet in here?
322
00:10:30,793 --> 00:10:32,206
- We're missing
the incessant drone
323
00:10:32,275 --> 00:10:33,689
of a decrepit fool
trying to sell us
324
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:34,862
worthless shit?
325
00:10:34,931 --> 00:10:37,206
[all laughing]
- Ah, that's it.
326
00:10:37,275 --> 00:10:38,689
- Guys, stop.
327
00:10:38,758 --> 00:10:39,896
I talked with Willy yesterday
328
00:10:39,965 --> 00:10:41,172
and it couldn't have
gone better.
329
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:44,827
He's decided to retire
and have some fun.
330
00:10:44,896 --> 00:10:45,862
- Morning.
331
00:10:45,931 --> 00:10:47,517
I have some bad news.
332
00:10:47,586 --> 00:10:49,793
Willy Schmiedler killed himself
last night.
333
00:10:49,862 --> 00:10:51,551
[all gasping]
334
00:10:51,620 --> 00:10:53,000
- Peas and rice.
335
00:10:53,068 --> 00:10:54,965
You killed the TV cart
salesman.
336
00:10:55,034 --> 00:10:56,068
- What?
337
00:10:56,137 --> 00:10:58,620
No, our talk only lasted
five minutes,
338
00:10:58,689 --> 00:10:59,620
tops!
339
00:10:59,689 --> 00:11:00,689
- You probably took away
340
00:11:00,758 --> 00:11:02,206
his only purpose in life.
341
00:11:02,275 --> 00:11:03,310
- Oh, poor Willy!
342
00:11:03,379 --> 00:11:04,551
You couldn't have
put up with him
343
00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:05,827
for just a few more days?
344
00:11:05,896 --> 00:11:07,000
- But you all told me
to get rid of him!
345
00:11:07,068 --> 00:11:08,172
- We didn't mean
get rid of him
346
00:11:08,241 --> 00:11:10,068
like rub him out,
Mary Louise.
347
00:11:10,137 --> 00:11:12,034
- There'll be
services tomorrow.
348
00:11:12,103 --> 00:11:13,379
One of his sales buddies
349
00:11:13,448 --> 00:11:15,448
is collecting
money for the burial.
350
00:11:15,517 --> 00:11:16,689
As you may know,
351
00:11:16,758 --> 00:11:19,482
Willy had some lean years
recently.
352
00:11:19,551 --> 00:11:21,068
- Should I donate?
353
00:11:21,137 --> 00:11:22,448
- You should pay
for the whole thing
354
00:11:22,517 --> 00:11:24,034
since you killed him.
355
00:11:24,103 --> 00:11:26,379
- Remember how his cart
would squeak?
356
00:11:26,448 --> 00:11:27,965
- Yeah.
[squeaks]
357
00:11:28,034 --> 00:11:30,758
[all squeaking]
358
00:11:30,827 --> 00:11:33,517
- Shill Stelpersteed--ah,
359
00:11:33,586 --> 00:11:35,724
I mean Shel Silverstein--
360
00:11:35,793 --> 00:11:38,413
was a beloved
children's author.
361
00:11:38,482 --> 00:11:41,379
[dark music]
362
00:11:41,448 --> 00:11:42,517
- Ms. Bennigan,
363
00:11:42,586 --> 00:11:44,551
is everything okay?
364
00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:50,310
- Yep. Just a sec.
365
00:11:50,379 --> 00:11:54,310
[cart squeaking]
366
00:11:56,896 --> 00:12:00,448
There. That's better.
367
00:12:00,517 --> 00:12:04,793
One of his best known works is
"Where the Sidewalk Ends."
368
00:12:04,862 --> 00:12:07,482
[cart squeaking]
369
00:12:07,551 --> 00:12:10,724
And it just so happens that
my favorite poem in the book
370
00:12:10,793 --> 00:12:13,448
is "Where the Sidewalk Ends."
371
00:12:13,517 --> 00:12:14,862
- [Willy's voice] Hello!
372
00:12:14,931 --> 00:12:16,793
- Which is also the name
of the book!
373
00:12:16,862 --> 00:12:18,137
- Turkey, turkey, turkey.
374
00:12:18,206 --> 00:12:19,517
- Isn't that weird?
375
00:12:19,586 --> 00:12:22,000
- After 52 years,
I never thought
376
00:12:22,068 --> 00:12:23,655
I'd go out like this.
377
00:12:23,724 --> 00:12:24,655
- No!
378
00:12:24,724 --> 00:12:28,793
[all screaming]
379
00:12:28,862 --> 00:12:33,724
- What are you
screaming about?
380
00:12:33,793 --> 00:12:35,068
- Uh...
381
00:12:35,137 --> 00:12:37,137
The death of a salesman.
382
00:12:37,206 --> 00:12:39,137
- [male voice] Assemble
your warriors.
383
00:12:39,206 --> 00:12:41,655
- So how do you play again?
384
00:12:41,724 --> 00:12:42,896
- This button's your jump.
385
00:12:42,965 --> 00:12:44,000
This one's your spin-kick.
386
00:12:44,068 --> 00:12:45,137
And these two together
387
00:12:45,206 --> 00:12:46,620
form an impenetrable
force field.
388
00:12:46,689 --> 00:12:48,172
- And the first player
to make it to the top
389
00:12:48,241 --> 00:12:49,862
of Bonzai Mountain wins.
- Three, two...
390
00:12:49,931 --> 00:12:51,379
- Got it?
- Got it.
391
00:12:51,448 --> 00:12:52,965
- One.
together: Let's get
392
00:12:53,034 --> 00:12:54,620
our game on!
393
00:12:54,689 --> 00:12:55,758
- Saber of Deliverance!
394
00:12:55,827 --> 00:12:57,206
I see the Saber of Deliverance!
395
00:12:57,275 --> 00:12:58,517
- Use your force field
to block him, Chelsea.
396
00:12:58,586 --> 00:13:00,034
He can't get the
Saber of Deliverance.
397
00:13:00,103 --> 00:13:01,275
- Chelsea, block him.
Block him! Block him!
398
00:13:01,344 --> 00:13:02,758
Block him!
- Block who?
399
00:13:02,827 --> 00:13:04,758
- I got it!
I got the Saber of Deliverance!
400
00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:06,137
- Oh, curse of Rocknow!
401
00:13:06,206 --> 00:13:07,793
He got the Saber
of Deliverance!
402
00:13:07,862 --> 00:13:10,000
- What did he get?
- The. Saber. Of. Deliverance.
403
00:13:10,068 --> 00:13:13,068
- Good luck feeding your
Cordanian troops.
404
00:13:13,137 --> 00:13:16,620
[buttons clicking]
405
00:13:16,689 --> 00:13:18,103
- Do you guys like Cardi B?
406
00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:20,034
- Don't beat yourself up
about losing.
407
00:13:20,103 --> 00:13:21,448
It's really difficult
to navigate
408
00:13:21,517 --> 00:13:24,103
Sombia's lair without
a cloaking amulet.
409
00:13:24,172 --> 00:13:25,655
It's nice to meet you, Chelsea.
410
00:13:25,724 --> 00:13:30,137
- Night, Melvin.
Night, Zorb.
411
00:13:30,206 --> 00:13:31,551
- So?
412
00:13:31,620 --> 00:13:33,034
Are you obsessed?
413
00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:35,793
- No. That was boring,
stupid, and sucked.
414
00:13:35,862 --> 00:13:37,241
- Wow.
415
00:13:37,310 --> 00:13:38,655
Okay.
416
00:13:38,724 --> 00:13:40,034
- What?
417
00:13:40,103 --> 00:13:42,655
I thought you wanted me
to be honest.
418
00:13:42,724 --> 00:13:44,137
I'm just communicating
419
00:13:44,206 --> 00:13:45,758
that that video game was
more of a waste of time
420
00:13:45,827 --> 00:13:47,172
than going to a museum.
421
00:13:47,241 --> 00:13:49,758
- Yeah, but you don't
have to be rude about it.
422
00:13:49,827 --> 00:13:51,413
I didn't like your
pole dancing cardio
423
00:13:51,482 --> 00:13:52,827
but you don't hear me
complaining.
424
00:13:52,896 --> 00:13:53,965
- What?
425
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:55,689
You said you loved it.
426
00:13:55,758 --> 00:13:56,689
- I lied.
427
00:13:56,758 --> 00:13:57,896
- [gasps]
428
00:13:57,965 --> 00:13:59,586
- It made me feel
skanky and slutty.
429
00:13:59,655 --> 00:14:01,103
- You are such a hypocrite.
430
00:14:01,172 --> 00:14:02,724
You're the one with
the communication problem,
431
00:14:02,793 --> 00:14:05,000
you liar!
432
00:14:05,068 --> 00:14:06,482
You know what, you can
make this up to me
433
00:14:06,551 --> 00:14:08,620
tomorrow night at the
Valentine's Day social.
434
00:14:08,689 --> 00:14:10,172
- No, I can't.
435
00:14:10,241 --> 00:14:12,310
My "Dominion" tournament
is tomorrow night.
436
00:14:12,379 --> 00:14:13,758
I sent you a Facebook invite.
437
00:14:13,827 --> 00:14:16,551
- That's like sending
a carrier pigeon.
438
00:14:16,620 --> 00:14:18,517
Oh, my God, whatever!
439
00:14:18,586 --> 00:14:21,275
You know what?
Enjoy your minion tournament.
440
00:14:21,344 --> 00:14:22,896
Don't forget your goggles.
441
00:14:22,965 --> 00:14:25,655
- That's an Illumination film.
442
00:14:25,724 --> 00:14:27,689
And we don't wear goggles!
443
00:14:30,241 --> 00:14:32,344
[rock music]
444
00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:34,068
- He's acting like
I'm cray cray
445
00:14:34,137 --> 00:14:35,586
but he's the one who's cray.
446
00:14:35,655 --> 00:14:37,137
Why do people always blame me
447
00:14:37,206 --> 00:14:38,517
when it's never my fault?
448
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:39,965
- It's no one's fault.
449
00:14:40,034 --> 00:14:41,275
You were both just trying
450
00:14:41,344 --> 00:14:43,551
to give the other person
what they wanted.
451
00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:44,586
- So what do I do now?
452
00:14:44,655 --> 00:14:46,344
- You like him, right?
453
00:14:46,413 --> 00:14:47,172
- Of course!
454
00:14:47,241 --> 00:14:50,413
He's sweet, funny, kind.
455
00:14:50,482 --> 00:14:52,137
I never dreamt
in a million years
456
00:14:52,206 --> 00:14:53,586
I'd find a guy
who liked me for me
457
00:14:53,655 --> 00:14:55,689
and not just my ti...
458
00:14:55,758 --> 00:14:58,241
...ips. And assets.
459
00:14:58,310 --> 00:15:00,206
- Then that's all that matters.
460
00:15:00,275 --> 00:15:02,344
Working out communication
in a relationship
461
00:15:02,413 --> 00:15:03,896
takes time.
462
00:15:03,965 --> 00:15:05,965
- Or just do whatever he wants.
463
00:15:06,034 --> 00:15:07,275
That way,
you'll never lose him.
464
00:15:07,344 --> 00:15:09,586
- Delia, stop living
in the Sahara.
465
00:15:09,655 --> 00:15:11,103
You're too thirsty.
466
00:15:11,172 --> 00:15:13,620
Wait, have any of you
ever heard of "Dominion"?
467
00:15:13,689 --> 00:15:16,620
[organ music]
468
00:15:16,689 --> 00:15:18,275
[cart squeaking]
469
00:15:18,344 --> 00:15:19,137
- Hi.
470
00:15:19,206 --> 00:15:21,517
My name is Mary Louise.
471
00:15:21,586 --> 00:15:22,551
I knew Willy.
472
00:15:22,620 --> 00:15:23,965
- Mary Louise Bennigan?
473
00:15:24,034 --> 00:15:25,137
- Yes?
474
00:15:25,206 --> 00:15:26,689
- Pleased to meet you.
475
00:15:26,758 --> 00:15:27,965
I'm Richard Paritz.
476
00:15:28,034 --> 00:15:29,758
Willy spoke so fondly of you.
477
00:15:29,827 --> 00:15:31,000
- Oh, no.
478
00:15:31,068 --> 00:15:32,827
- Said you were one
of the good ones.
479
00:15:32,896 --> 00:15:35,241
Never felt like
he was selling you.
480
00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:36,827
Always felt like he was
481
00:15:36,896 --> 00:15:38,517
having a conversation
with a friend.
482
00:15:38,586 --> 00:15:39,931
- Please don't tell me
any more.
483
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:40,931
- Thought of you
like a daughter.
484
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,724
- I can't.
485
00:15:42,793 --> 00:15:43,931
Here.
486
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,068
He left me a sample model.
487
00:15:46,137 --> 00:15:48,620
I think it's only right
that you should have it.
488
00:15:48,689 --> 00:15:50,965
- No, I couldn't.
489
00:15:51,034 --> 00:15:52,896
- Maybe you could bury it
with him.
490
00:15:52,965 --> 00:15:56,310
- Company beat you to it,
sweetheart.
491
00:15:56,379 --> 00:16:00,206
♪ ♪
492
00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:04,724
- "Dear Care Bear.
493
00:16:04,793 --> 00:16:07,137
"Chatting with you
on Valentine's Day
494
00:16:07,206 --> 00:16:09,448
"made me realize how much
I miss you.
495
00:16:09,517 --> 00:16:11,724
"I'd really like
to get back together.
496
00:16:11,793 --> 00:16:14,310
"If you feel the same,
please let me know.
497
00:16:14,379 --> 00:16:16,965
"If you don't, you don't
have to say anything.
498
00:16:17,034 --> 00:16:19,827
"Just know that I will always
care deeply for you
499
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:23,551
"and wish you nothing but
happiness in your life.
500
00:16:23,620 --> 00:16:26,000
Love, Toby."
501
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:29,000
[soft music]
502
00:16:29,068 --> 00:16:32,034
♪ ♪
503
00:16:35,655 --> 00:16:36,965
- Oh, Deb.
504
00:16:37,034 --> 00:16:39,551
I can't believe it.
This place looks great.
505
00:16:39,620 --> 00:16:41,482
It makes me feel bad
for all the terrible things
506
00:16:41,551 --> 00:16:44,000
I said about you
behind your back this week.
507
00:16:44,068 --> 00:16:45,241
- Huh.
508
00:16:45,310 --> 00:16:46,689
- What are you doing here?
509
00:16:46,758 --> 00:16:49,241
- Just wanted to see
how the place cleaned up.
510
00:16:49,310 --> 00:16:51,241
You know, to see what I have
511
00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:53,655
to look forward to.
512
00:16:53,724 --> 00:16:57,137
Caroline,
your room looks lovely.
513
00:16:57,206 --> 00:16:59,586
- Thanks, Deb really
came through.
514
00:16:59,655 --> 00:17:01,000
- Yes, she did.
515
00:17:01,068 --> 00:17:05,551
Oh, look at that.
516
00:17:05,620 --> 00:17:08,827
Okay. Bye-bye.
517
00:17:08,896 --> 00:17:10,172
[ceiling cracking]
518
00:17:10,241 --> 00:17:11,379
[thud]
- Oh!
519
00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:13,172
[all gasping]
- Oh, my God!
520
00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:15,413
Deb, you said you fixed
the leaks!
521
00:17:15,482 --> 00:17:17,724
- No, I said I stopped
the leaks
522
00:17:17,793 --> 00:17:20,620
by putting a few buckets
in the ceiling.
523
00:17:20,689 --> 00:17:22,551
- Are you kidding me?
524
00:17:22,620 --> 00:17:26,068
♪ ♪
525
00:17:28,137 --> 00:17:30,068
- Oh, hey, Melvin.
526
00:17:30,137 --> 00:17:32,551
I'm here to get
my "Dominion" on.
527
00:17:32,620 --> 00:17:33,482
Have you seen Kyle?
528
00:17:33,551 --> 00:17:35,827
- Isn't he at your social?
529
00:17:35,896 --> 00:17:37,241
- Wait, really?
530
00:17:37,310 --> 00:17:39,862
- You have an Envoy
and a Black Market.
531
00:17:39,931 --> 00:17:42,310
Weren't they only released
at conventions?
532
00:17:42,379 --> 00:17:45,965
- Yeah, I slept in a tent
for two nights to get those.
533
00:17:46,034 --> 00:17:49,620
[female singing ringtone]
534
00:17:49,689 --> 00:17:50,827
Hello?
535
00:17:50,896 --> 00:17:53,034
- What are you doing
at my social?
536
00:17:53,103 --> 00:17:54,275
I'm at your tournament.
537
00:17:54,344 --> 00:17:56,517
- You are?
- Yes.
538
00:17:56,586 --> 00:17:57,827
And I'm so sorry.
539
00:17:57,896 --> 00:17:59,103
I'll be better at telling you
540
00:17:59,172 --> 00:18:00,413
what I need
in our relationship.
541
00:18:00,482 --> 00:18:02,275
I realized there
was a fine line
542
00:18:02,344 --> 00:18:04,689
between being honest
and being rude.
543
00:18:04,758 --> 00:18:06,000
I'll work on it.
544
00:18:06,068 --> 00:18:07,344
- I'm--I'm sorry too.
545
00:18:07,413 --> 00:18:09,655
My communication
is not perfect.
546
00:18:09,724 --> 00:18:11,448
I should have told you
that pole dancing
547
00:18:11,517 --> 00:18:13,068
is not my cup of tea.
548
00:18:13,137 --> 00:18:14,172
Although,
549
00:18:14,241 --> 00:18:15,172
you know, I have been working
550
00:18:15,241 --> 00:18:16,517
on my ass clapping.
551
00:18:16,586 --> 00:18:17,724
- Oh.
552
00:18:17,793 --> 00:18:19,758
[clapping]
553
00:18:19,827 --> 00:18:20,896
[kids giggling]
554
00:18:20,965 --> 00:18:23,206
[clapping]
555
00:18:23,275 --> 00:18:24,827
You know, why don't you
come meet me here?
556
00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:26,379
- No, you come here.
557
00:18:26,448 --> 00:18:27,827
I've been learning how to play
"Dominion" all day
558
00:18:27,896 --> 00:18:30,586
and your bae is about to slay!
559
00:18:30,655 --> 00:18:32,931
♪ ♪
560
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,931
46, 47, 48.
561
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,413
Beat that, Melvin!
562
00:18:37,482 --> 00:18:38,275
- Damn.
563
00:18:38,344 --> 00:18:40,103
I'm only at 43.
564
00:18:40,172 --> 00:18:42,137
You are a worthy
opponent, milady.
565
00:18:42,206 --> 00:18:43,862
- Oh, my God, I won?
566
00:18:43,931 --> 00:18:46,448
I won! [shrieks]
567
00:18:46,517 --> 00:18:48,551
- You're really good at this.
568
00:18:48,620 --> 00:18:49,551
- Honest?
569
00:18:49,620 --> 00:18:50,827
- Honest.
570
00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:52,517
That and you're
the hottest girl here.
571
00:18:52,586 --> 00:18:53,758
- Duh.
572
00:18:53,827 --> 00:18:55,482
I had a really great time.
573
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,620
Did you know you can
win cash at these things?
574
00:18:57,689 --> 00:18:58,965
I blew all my dollar
dollar bills
575
00:18:59,034 --> 00:19:00,068
freezing my eggs,
576
00:19:00,137 --> 00:19:01,344
but at this rate,
I'll be able
577
00:19:01,413 --> 00:19:03,206
to cut this big schnoz
off after all!
578
00:19:03,275 --> 00:19:04,586
- I love your schnoz.
579
00:19:04,655 --> 00:19:06,793
- Shut up.
- Okay.
580
00:19:09,689 --> 00:19:10,827
- Hey.
581
00:19:10,896 --> 00:19:11,965
Did you ever end up
getting a card
582
00:19:12,034 --> 00:19:13,103
from you-know-who?
583
00:19:13,172 --> 00:19:15,586
- No,
so I just threw mine away.
584
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:18,206
It was just
a stupid valentine.
585
00:19:18,275 --> 00:19:22,793
[cart squeaking]
586
00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:24,793
- Still can't get rid
of the cart, huh?
587
00:19:24,862 --> 00:19:27,620
- No, I guess I'll just
hang onto it.
588
00:19:27,689 --> 00:19:29,241
Maybe the Smithsonian
will be interested in it
589
00:19:29,310 --> 00:19:30,275
in a few years.
590
00:19:30,344 --> 00:19:31,275
- Or you could just leave it
591
00:19:31,344 --> 00:19:32,482
in the parking lot.
592
00:19:32,551 --> 00:19:33,586
I'm sure someone
will figure out
593
00:19:33,655 --> 00:19:35,724
how to smoke crack out of it.
594
00:19:35,793 --> 00:19:37,103
- I have news.
595
00:19:37,172 --> 00:19:38,965
- Did Toby finally
kill himself?
596
00:19:39,034 --> 00:19:41,034
- I'm right here, Deb.
597
00:19:41,103 --> 00:19:42,827
- Due to the concussion
Mr. Nichols
598
00:19:42,896 --> 00:19:44,137
received from the ceiling,
599
00:19:44,206 --> 00:19:45,827
the school's agreed
to repair it.
600
00:19:45,896 --> 00:19:47,068
all: Oh, ooh.
601
00:19:47,137 --> 00:19:48,793
- All it took was
a head injury, huh?
602
00:19:48,862 --> 00:19:52,551
- Yes, and unfortunately you'll
all feel the consequences.
603
00:19:52,620 --> 00:19:55,344
Fillmore's officially
on a shoestring budget
604
00:19:55,413 --> 00:19:56,689
until the end
of the school year.
605
00:19:56,758 --> 00:19:58,000
- Are you serious?
606
00:19:58,068 --> 00:20:01,482
- It's okay, guys.
We'll get through this.
607
00:20:01,551 --> 00:20:04,241
- [shrieks]
[all shrieking]
608
00:20:06,310 --> 00:20:07,689
- You were saying?
609
00:20:11,068 --> 00:20:14,000
[rock music]
610
00:20:14,068 --> 00:20:21,275
♪ ♪
611
00:20:21,325 --> 00:20:25,875
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