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1
00:00:01,436 --> 00:00:03,133
♪♪
2
00:00:03,264 --> 00:00:05,179
Okay, Jan. Wow.
3
00:00:05,309 --> 00:00:06,484
What am I looking at?
4
00:00:06,615 --> 00:00:08,921
I call it
Jan vs. Predator.
5
00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:10,575
Hm. And who comes out
on top?
6
00:00:10,706 --> 00:00:11,663
Predator.
7
00:00:11,794 --> 00:00:13,230
Thanks so much, Jan.
8
00:00:14,275 --> 00:00:15,363
Blech!
9
00:00:15,493 --> 00:00:18,148
Feels like I'm trapped in
Antiques Roadshow: Harrisburg.
10
00:00:18,279 --> 00:00:20,411
Oh, thank God!
A friend!
11
00:00:20,542 --> 00:00:22,500
Here to bail me out
with the perfect, unique,
12
00:00:22,544 --> 00:00:24,285
well-thought-out
donation.
13
00:00:24,415 --> 00:00:26,069
-Steak knives? Wow.
-WILL: I'm sorry.
14
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:27,636
Work has just gotten so crazy,
15
00:00:27,766 --> 00:00:28,985
I didn't have time to curate
16
00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,421
one of my signature
silent auction baskets.
17
00:00:30,552 --> 00:00:33,946
And I'm notgoing to donate
a non-curated basket.
18
00:00:34,077 --> 00:00:35,252
Give the man a break.
19
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:36,558
He does the weather every time
Guy McCormick is sick.
20
00:00:36,688 --> 00:00:39,300
And, let's face it, he's sick,
like, three times a week.
21
00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:40,823
"Sick"? Please.
The man drinks.
22
00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:42,129
Mr. McCormick
has checked into a facility.
23
00:00:42,259 --> 00:00:43,826
That's all
I'm allowed to say.
24
00:00:43,956 --> 00:00:46,263
But it does mean that I'm
going to be doing the weather
25
00:00:46,394 --> 00:00:48,309
for the next 28 nights.
26
00:00:48,439 --> 00:00:50,267
Will, I'm very happy thatyou've become a local celebrity.
27
00:00:50,398 --> 00:00:52,095
-No!
-But that doesn't help me right now.
28
00:00:52,226 --> 00:00:54,619
Right now, what I need from you
is an auction item.
29
00:00:54,750 --> 00:00:56,273
Are you blind?
30
00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:57,709
Will isthe item!
31
00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:00,103
Celebrity is themost precious
metal we have.
32
00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:01,452
It's our Vibranium!
33
00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:02,888
You mean
I'm like Black Panther?
34
00:01:03,019 --> 00:01:04,194
-No.
-No. -Sorry.
35
00:01:04,238 --> 00:01:05,674
It was in front of my face
the whole time.
36
00:01:05,804 --> 00:01:07,502
Will, you arethe item!
37
00:01:07,632 --> 00:01:08,807
Can I put you
in the auction?
38
00:01:08,938 --> 00:01:11,549
You mean like be someone's
butler for a month? Sure.
39
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:13,073
No, but it's weird
that you'd be okay with that.
40
00:01:13,203 --> 00:01:14,378
I mean a lunch.
41
00:01:14,683 --> 00:01:16,598
A meal with a local
10:00 P.M. fill-in weatherman
42
00:01:16,728 --> 00:01:18,121
could be just the pop
this auction needs.
43
00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:20,080
Maybe.
44
00:01:20,210 --> 00:01:22,125
I mean,
my star ison the rise.
45
00:01:22,256 --> 00:01:24,301
Finally got
my own lapel mic,
46
00:01:24,432 --> 00:01:26,347
unlimited access
to the green screen,
47
00:01:26,477 --> 00:01:28,958
and I'm really honing in
on my on-air laugh.
48
00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:30,307
Ah ha ha ha ha!
49
00:01:30,438 --> 00:01:31,656
Back to you, Julie.
50
00:01:33,223 --> 00:01:34,920
-I'm in!
-Yes!
51
00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:36,357
POPPY: Blank CDs?
Unh-unh.
52
00:01:36,487 --> 00:01:38,359
Keep walking.
Don't even set those down.
53
00:01:38,489 --> 00:01:39,577
Do better, Celeste!
54
00:01:39,708 --> 00:01:44,887
♪♪
55
00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:47,237
♪♪
56
00:01:47,368 --> 00:01:49,544
"Gift card --
balance unknown."
57
00:01:49,674 --> 00:01:51,720
-D'Amato, you donated this?
-Yeah.
58
00:01:51,850 --> 00:01:53,504
I have no idea
how much is on there.
59
00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:55,115
Could be $250,
could be $12.
60
00:01:55,245 --> 00:01:56,725
That's what makes it
so exciting to bid on!
61
00:01:56,855 --> 00:01:57,856
Yeah.
62
00:01:57,987 --> 00:01:59,380
I'm jealous
of everyone here.
63
00:01:59,510 --> 00:02:01,295
-What'd youdonate?
-This.
64
00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:03,514
DOUGLAS: I can't wait to see
what someone's willing to pay
65
00:02:03,645 --> 00:02:05,037
for $100.
66
00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:07,388
Oh, well, if the bidding's low,
I'm gonna jump in.
67
00:02:07,518 --> 00:02:10,304
Today I got the news
that every parent dreads most.
68
00:02:10,434 --> 00:02:12,436
I have signed up
to participate
69
00:02:12,567 --> 00:02:14,743
in the sport
of ice hockey.
70
00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:19,182
[scoffs]
71
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:20,966
It's the most expensive sport
on the plant,
72
00:02:21,097 --> 00:02:22,925
unless you count fencing,
which I don't.
73
00:02:23,055 --> 00:02:25,275
Yeah, diving's the dream.
No gear of any kind.
74
00:02:25,406 --> 00:02:28,409
It's 1/5
of a normal sports uniform.
75
00:02:28,452 --> 00:02:30,367
[sighs]
Just a Speedo and a towel.
76
00:02:30,498 --> 00:02:32,369
And I already have towels.
77
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,937
Listen, if Pee-Wee Sports is
driving you to financial ruin,
78
00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:36,504
then you're
doing something wrong.
79
00:02:36,634 --> 00:02:38,245
Let's take a look
at your budget.
80
00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:40,247
If you even have one.
81
00:02:40,377 --> 00:02:41,552
I'm a single mother
82
00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:43,293
living in the second most
expensive city in the country.
83
00:02:43,424 --> 00:02:44,816
I budget.
84
00:02:44,947 --> 00:02:46,166
I budget hard.
85
00:02:48,472 --> 00:02:49,430
WILL: Hey.
86
00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:51,301
Am I allowed to be here?
I mean, what are the rules?
87
00:02:51,432 --> 00:02:53,260
Is it like a candidate
not being allowed
88
00:02:53,390 --> 00:02:55,436
within 100 feet
of a polling place or --
89
00:02:55,566 --> 00:02:57,177
Wait,
nobody's bid on me yet?
90
00:02:57,307 --> 00:02:58,700
The auction
just started,
91
00:02:58,830 --> 00:03:00,397
and no one goes near
the big-ticket items
92
00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:01,833
until they're
at least two Cabs deep.
93
00:03:01,964 --> 00:03:03,444
And you're
a big-ticket item.
94
00:03:03,574 --> 00:03:04,793
-Cool.
-POPPY: Yeah.
95
00:03:04,923 --> 00:03:06,664
You hear that?
We're the big-ticket item.
96
00:03:06,795 --> 00:03:07,752
All right, Dad.
97
00:03:07,796 --> 00:03:10,190
Self-directed pep talk over.
Take a lap.
98
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:12,235
Yeah, yeah, a lap.
That's a good idea.
99
00:03:13,367 --> 00:03:15,020
[whispering]
100
00:03:16,935 --> 00:03:18,285
[chuckles]
101
00:03:18,415 --> 00:03:19,242
Okay.
102
00:03:19,373 --> 00:03:22,202
My dad's self-esteem pendulum
is very lubricated.
103
00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:24,378
It swings far and fast
in both directions.
104
00:03:24,508 --> 00:03:27,468
And now that he's on TV,
it's even worse.
105
00:03:27,598 --> 00:03:29,121
Sophie,
the promo's starting!
106
00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:30,906
It's starting!
107
00:03:31,036 --> 00:03:32,124
ANNOUNCER:
Who is KZOP at 10:00?
108
00:03:32,255 --> 00:03:34,866
It's news with
anchor Julie Fong-Nunez!
109
00:03:34,997 --> 00:03:37,913
Investigative journalism
with Loni McGraw!
110
00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:40,350
"What's Yummy Now?"
with Chef Martin Bullrock!
111
00:03:40,481 --> 00:03:42,874
Sports with Chet Corners!
112
00:03:43,005 --> 00:03:44,659
And weather!
113
00:03:44,789 --> 00:03:47,444
KZOP at 10:00.
We got you.
114
00:03:47,575 --> 00:03:49,272
Leave me.
115
00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:50,621
Ooh, I love that sun.
116
00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:53,189
You can tell by his sunglasses
that he's nasty.
117
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:54,930
That sun made my dad cry.
118
00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:56,975
Poppy,
someone has to bid on him.
119
00:03:57,106 --> 00:03:58,890
This isn't just
a silent auction.
120
00:03:59,021 --> 00:04:00,109
This is a man's life.
121
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,328
You're right.
122
00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:03,373
Crap. Garbage.
123
00:04:03,504 --> 00:04:05,723
Trash. Garbage.
124
00:04:05,854 --> 00:04:07,377
Yoga pants for a dog?!
125
00:04:07,508 --> 00:04:09,249
Stop dressing your dogs,
America.
126
00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:10,467
Dogs should be naked.
127
00:04:12,121 --> 00:04:13,862
♪♪
128
00:04:13,992 --> 00:04:15,646
What do we have here?
129
00:04:15,777 --> 00:04:17,779
[gasps] Oh, my gosh,
you poor thing.
130
00:04:17,909 --> 00:04:19,650
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
It's okay. It's okay.
131
00:04:19,781 --> 00:04:22,000
You don't have to be
scared anymore.
132
00:04:22,131 --> 00:04:23,741
I will make you
fly again.
133
00:04:23,872 --> 00:04:25,265
Do you girls have any idea
what this is?
134
00:04:25,395 --> 00:04:26,657
A hat.
135
00:04:26,788 --> 00:04:28,746
A hat? A hat?!
136
00:04:28,877 --> 00:04:30,226
This is a beret.
137
00:04:30,357 --> 00:04:31,488
French sophistication distilled
138
00:04:31,619 --> 00:04:34,883
into one timeless
piece of headwear.
139
00:04:35,013 --> 00:04:36,624
And it will be mine.
140
00:04:36,754 --> 00:04:38,887
Miggy, shut up.
This is important.
141
00:04:39,017 --> 00:04:40,541
I need an adult
to bid on this beret for me.
142
00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:42,847
That thing? Why?
143
00:04:42,978 --> 00:04:44,109
Geez, Grandpa.
144
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:46,286
Because,
like Monica Lewinsky,
145
00:04:46,416 --> 00:04:48,766
K-pop singer Min-ho,and Jack Nicholson as the Joker,
146
00:04:48,897 --> 00:04:50,551
I have style.
You don't.
147
00:04:50,681 --> 00:04:51,769
I adopt early.
You don't.
148
00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:53,336
I lead, and you...
149
00:04:53,467 --> 00:04:54,555
have no taste.
150
00:04:54,685 --> 00:04:55,860
If you're gonna be mean
about it, forget it.
151
00:04:55,991 --> 00:04:56,905
Your mom can bid on it.
152
00:04:57,035 --> 00:04:57,949
Please?
153
00:04:58,080 --> 00:04:59,037
Fine.
154
00:04:59,168 --> 00:05:00,517
RORY: Follow me, girls.
155
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,780
Jocelyn's dad is auctioning
one of his "ceramics,"
156
00:05:02,911 --> 00:05:04,391
and I have thoughts.
157
00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:07,568
Okay, rent looks good.
158
00:05:07,698 --> 00:05:08,786
What is this tab labeled?
159
00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:10,658
That's my convenience tax.
I can't touch that.
160
00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:12,137
What's a convenience tax?
161
00:05:12,268 --> 00:05:14,314
It's money I spendto make my life a little easier.
162
00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:17,099
I -- I'm too busy
juggling Graham
163
00:05:17,229 --> 00:05:18,709
and my full-time job
and all my hobbies,
164
00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:20,624
like breathing and sleeping
and drinking water,
165
00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:22,974
so sometimes I pay a little morefor certain necessities.
166
00:05:23,105 --> 00:05:25,020
What kind of necessity?
Like food?
167
00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:26,456
Delivery, yep.
168
00:05:26,587 --> 00:05:29,154
Lots of food delivery,
some expedited shipping.
169
00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:31,809
Maybe I'll park in a red zone
here or there or here again.
170
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:33,898
But trust me, it's all
very, very necessary.
171
00:05:34,029 --> 00:05:34,899
Uh-huh.
172
00:05:35,030 --> 00:05:36,336
Is it necessary
to pay $8
173
00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:38,599
for a quart
of gas station milk?
174
00:05:38,729 --> 00:05:41,123
If all I need is gas and milk,
I'm not making two stops.
175
00:05:41,253 --> 00:05:42,254
Yeah,
but it's just not milk.
176
00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:43,386
You're paying
gas station prices
177
00:05:43,517 --> 00:05:45,997
for toilet paper,
batteries...
178
00:05:46,128 --> 00:05:47,390
salsa?
179
00:05:47,564 --> 00:05:48,478
Hey, when the grocery store
starts selling gas,
180
00:05:48,609 --> 00:05:50,611
they'll start seeing
my salsa dollars again.
181
00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:52,047
O-Okay,
I can't take this anymore.
182
00:05:52,090 --> 00:05:55,572
I'm gonna show you how to turn
your "convenience tax"
183
00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:56,617
into hockey pads.
184
00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:58,619
But I'm gonna have to
take over your life.
185
00:05:58,749 --> 00:06:00,055
Fine.
My life is all yours.
186
00:06:00,185 --> 00:06:01,796
But I must warn you --
187
00:06:01,926 --> 00:06:03,145
there's this guy
in my life
188
00:06:03,275 --> 00:06:05,495
that's gonna be
a real pain in your ass.
189
00:06:05,626 --> 00:06:07,541
His name is Douglas.
190
00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:09,630
You worked hard
for that one.
191
00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:11,588
I'm gonna let you
enjoy it.
192
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,069
[panting]
193
00:06:14,199 --> 00:06:15,505
WILL: All right,
did two laps --
194
00:06:15,636 --> 00:06:17,202
a counterclockwise
and a clockwise.
195
00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:19,291
I just don't want
to overdevelop one thigh.
196
00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:20,554
Well, I hope those
symmetrical thighs are ready
197
00:06:20,597 --> 00:06:22,599
to sit down and have lunch
with an adoring fan,
198
00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:24,558
because you are getting
a lot of bids.
199
00:06:24,688 --> 00:06:26,516
Really? I am?
200
00:06:26,647 --> 00:06:27,387
Oh, that's such a relief.
201
00:06:27,517 --> 00:06:29,258
Okay, so,
how much am I going for?
202
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,826
Three figures? Four?
What's the gender breakdown?
203
00:06:31,956 --> 00:06:33,480
You know what?
La, la, la, la, la, la!
204
00:06:33,523 --> 00:06:35,220
I don't want to know.
[laughs]
205
00:06:35,351 --> 00:06:36,613
-Lap.
-That's a good idea.
206
00:06:38,659 --> 00:06:40,008
He hasn't gotten
a single bid.
207
00:06:40,138 --> 00:06:41,270
What if we change it to
208
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,011
"Lunch and Hike
with KZOP's Will Cooper,
209
00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:44,534
Who Will Also
Hand Detail Your Car"?
210
00:06:44,665 --> 00:06:46,406
Or "Lunch and a dot, dot, dot,
question mark"?
211
00:06:46,536 --> 00:06:47,842
Kind of implying
that it starts with lunch,
212
00:06:47,972 --> 00:06:49,496
but where it goes from there
is unwritten.
213
00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:51,411
Ew! You're talking
about my father.
214
00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:52,586
Sorry.
It's just really easy
215
00:06:52,716 --> 00:06:54,022
to forget that
you're a child sometimes.
216
00:06:54,152 --> 00:06:55,458
[snaps fingers]
I know.
217
00:06:55,589 --> 00:06:56,764
I'lljust bid on him.
Hm?
218
00:06:56,894 --> 00:06:57,721
SOPHIE: No!
219
00:06:57,852 --> 00:06:59,157
That's a pity bid!
220
00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:00,681
We need a realperson
to win this thing.
221
00:07:00,811 --> 00:07:03,205
MAN [on p.a.]:
Final bids, please. Final bids.
222
00:07:03,335 --> 00:07:04,902
Oh, God, I'm blanking!
I can't think of a single real person who isn't me.
223
00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:05,903
Who should I put down?
224
00:07:06,034 --> 00:07:07,078
Someone who eats lunch
225
00:07:07,209 --> 00:07:09,472
and can act like a fan
of KZOP's Will Cooper.
226
00:07:09,603 --> 00:07:10,995
-I don't know any actors!
-[sighs]
227
00:07:11,126 --> 00:07:13,433
Actually...
228
00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:15,696
wait a minute.
229
00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:19,177
Dr. Biscuits,
have I got a role for you.
230
00:07:19,308 --> 00:07:21,571
I'm listening.
231
00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:25,488
BISCUITS: [sighs]
232
00:07:25,619 --> 00:07:29,274
I'm sorry, Ms. Banks.
I won't play a fan.
233
00:07:29,405 --> 00:07:31,102
Oh, please,
Dr. Biscuits. I --
234
00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:33,278
I will play a superfan!
235
00:07:33,409 --> 00:07:35,150
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
236
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,587
Now, his daughter
goes to school here,
237
00:07:37,718 --> 00:07:38,675
so you've probably
already met.
238
00:07:38,806 --> 00:07:40,503
But I was thinking
that you could say --
239
00:07:40,634 --> 00:07:41,635
Ah, ah!
240
00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:43,767
I will work out
my own backstory, thank you.
241
00:07:43,898 --> 00:07:45,247
Okay. Sorry.
242
00:07:45,377 --> 00:07:47,554
Well, I guess all you need
to know is that his name is --
243
00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:48,729
Ah, ah!
244
00:07:48,859 --> 00:07:50,861
I will do my own research,
thank you.
245
00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:52,559
Okay.
246
00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:54,648
Well, is there anything
you need from me at all or --
247
00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:57,781
I need an item of his clothing,
recently worn.
248
00:07:57,825 --> 00:07:58,652
Or a photograph.
249
00:07:58,782 --> 00:08:00,480
I got a photo of him
on my phone. [chuckles]
250
00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:01,742
Please, print it out.
251
00:08:01,872 --> 00:08:04,353
Place it
in an unmarked manilla envelope
252
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,181
on the windscreen
of the car
253
00:08:06,311 --> 00:08:07,574
bearing
this bumper-plate number
254
00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:08,966
in precisely
one week from today.
255
00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:10,098
There's a printer
outside,
256
00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:11,273
so I'll just slide it
under your door.
257
00:08:11,403 --> 00:08:12,535
Thank you so much.
258
00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:14,668
[sighs]
259
00:08:14,798 --> 00:08:16,583
Very well!
260
00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:18,410
DOUGLAS: You know,
when I was in med school,
261
00:08:18,541 --> 00:08:19,673
I always prided myself
262
00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:23,415
on being as fiscally anal
as I was poor.
263
00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:26,157
They used to call me
"Nurse Spreadsheets."
264
00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:27,550
Ohhhhh!
265
00:08:27,681 --> 00:08:29,639
Right,
my budget thing.
266
00:08:29,770 --> 00:08:32,729
For a second there, I totally
forgot why you were here.
267
00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:33,774
You want some coffee?
268
00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:34,949
I'd lovecoffee.
269
00:08:35,079 --> 00:08:36,777
Great.
270
00:08:40,781 --> 00:08:41,782
Thought we wanted coffee.
271
00:08:41,912 --> 00:08:43,261
We do.
272
00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:44,741
Yeah, coffee comes
from the coffee place.
273
00:08:44,872 --> 00:08:45,916
Yes, it does.
274
00:08:46,047 --> 00:08:49,224
Three times a day,
at $6 a pop.
275
00:08:49,354 --> 00:08:51,792
Oh, hello,
teachable moment.
276
00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:54,925
No. No!
277
00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:57,145
I-I-I --
I need my coffee place.
278
00:08:57,275 --> 00:08:58,755
It's on the way
from here to school
279
00:08:58,886 --> 00:09:00,452
and on the way
from school to work
280
00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:01,802
andon the way
from work to here.
281
00:09:01,932 --> 00:09:03,194
It's a miracle
of geography,
282
00:09:03,325 --> 00:09:04,718
and it's what
makes my life possible.
283
00:09:04,848 --> 00:09:07,416
Okay, well,
look at this, huh?
284
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:08,373
-[gasps]
-ANGIE: [groans]
285
00:09:08,504 --> 00:09:10,637
No, but this takes
so long!
286
00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:13,727
And at my coffee place,
I have a barista, Trish,
287
00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:15,729
and she always has my latte
waiting for me.
288
00:09:15,859 --> 00:09:17,687
I'myour Trish now.
289
00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:19,602
[sighs]
290
00:09:19,733 --> 00:09:22,823
You guys should be free to roll
around on the floor of my car.
291
00:09:22,953 --> 00:09:24,041
We're breaking
their spirit!
292
00:09:24,172 --> 00:09:25,739
Pennies belong
in a bank...
293
00:09:25,869 --> 00:09:28,742
or dumped in a tube sock
and used for self-defense.
294
00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:31,658
Hockey pads,
hockey pads,
295
00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:33,137
h-h-hockey pads.
296
00:09:33,268 --> 00:09:35,183
Six pairs
of the same sunglasses?
297
00:09:35,313 --> 00:09:36,532
I'm gonna lose
half of them.
298
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:38,360
You always have
more sunglasses than you need
299
00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:39,840
because some of them
aren't gonna make it.
300
00:09:39,970 --> 00:09:41,581
Like with babies
at the turn of the century.
301
00:09:41,711 --> 00:09:47,630
♪♪
302
00:09:47,761 --> 00:09:49,501
You did a great job.
303
00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:52,853
-[gags]
-Okay.
304
00:09:52,983 --> 00:09:54,376
Thank you.
305
00:09:56,117 --> 00:09:58,032
-Just gonna be you today, champ?-[sighs]
306
00:09:58,162 --> 00:09:58,989
Champ?!
307
00:09:59,033 --> 00:10:00,077
Don't you know
who this is?
308
00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:01,992
This is
KZOP's Will Cooper!
309
00:10:02,123 --> 00:10:04,299
How about you get us
the two most expensive things
310
00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:05,561
on the menu?
311
00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:06,954
Both for him.
I'm too nervous to eat.
312
00:10:08,042 --> 00:10:08,956
-Dr. Biscuits?
-Yes.
313
00:10:09,086 --> 00:10:10,261
I didn't know
you were a fan.
314
00:10:10,392 --> 00:10:11,654
-I'm not.
-Oh.
315
00:10:11,785 --> 00:10:13,395
I'm a superfan.
316
00:10:13,525 --> 00:10:14,657
[laughs]
317
00:10:14,788 --> 00:10:16,485
But at school,
you've never mentioned --
318
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:17,660
Oh!
I don't care about me.
319
00:10:17,791 --> 00:10:18,792
I care about
three things --
320
00:10:18,922 --> 00:10:20,620
you, the weather,
and where they overlap.
321
00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:21,621
Go.
322
00:10:21,751 --> 00:10:22,883
All right.
323
00:10:23,013 --> 00:10:24,711
Where would you
like to start?
324
00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:26,756
Denver Presbyterian Hospital,
325
00:10:26,887 --> 00:10:30,281
May 6, 1983, 8:45 A.M.
326
00:10:30,412 --> 00:10:33,110
Bud and Lucile Cooper
welcome into the world
327
00:10:33,241 --> 00:10:36,331
a beautiful
7-pound, 5-ounce baby boy.
328
00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:39,769
The high was 68,
the low, 40.
329
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:43,338
-With a mild chance of hail.
-Mild chance of hail.
330
00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:44,556
Wow.
331
00:10:44,687 --> 00:10:46,689
Never stop talking to me.
332
00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:47,908
[doorbell rings]
333
00:10:48,038 --> 00:10:49,692
Oh. [chuckles]
Come on in.
334
00:10:49,823 --> 00:10:51,912
But please,
keep your shoes on.
335
00:10:52,042 --> 00:10:53,740
I've just always wanted
to say that. [laughs]
336
00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:54,828
Refresh my memory.
337
00:10:54,958 --> 00:10:56,525
Who did you say
outbid me for the beret?
338
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:57,700
Anonymous.
339
00:10:57,831 --> 00:10:59,441
They're...anonymous.
340
00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:01,791
Why would someone
who wanted to remain anonymous
341
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:04,533
buy themost eye-catching hat
civilization has ever produced?
342
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,274
-They wouldn't.
-Doesn't add up.
343
00:11:06,404 --> 00:11:07,536
Easy.
344
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,843
See, they're shy with names
but not with hats.
345
00:11:09,973 --> 00:11:10,887
You feel me?
346
00:11:11,018 --> 00:11:13,716
Or they want
to get caught.
347
00:11:13,847 --> 00:11:14,935
Care to explain
what you're doing here,
348
00:11:15,065 --> 00:11:16,806
other than
dying of thirst?
349
00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:19,113
Miggy,
why would you do this?
350
00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:20,767
'Cause you said
I have no taste.
351
00:11:20,897 --> 00:11:22,769
I should've known.
Curse of the trendsetter --
352
00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:24,901
everything you love
will be ruined by normos.
353
00:11:25,032 --> 00:11:26,250
[snaps fingers]
Find her!
354
00:11:26,381 --> 00:11:27,512
Remember our orders!
355
00:11:27,643 --> 00:11:29,601
The beret
must not be harmed!
356
00:11:29,732 --> 00:11:32,866
♪♪
357
00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:33,910
Daah!
358
00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:35,346
Oh! Oh, God!
359
00:11:35,477 --> 00:11:37,174
Oh! No, please!
360
00:11:37,305 --> 00:11:38,262
Ah! [grunts]
361
00:11:38,393 --> 00:11:39,611
Ah! I tap.
362
00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:41,091
[high-pitched]
I tap!
363
00:11:41,222 --> 00:11:42,179
[sighs]
364
00:11:46,053 --> 00:11:47,141
Next time,
I won't be so kind.
365
00:11:47,271 --> 00:11:48,533
Thank you?
366
00:11:48,664 --> 00:11:52,973
♪♪
367
00:11:53,103 --> 00:11:53,974
Thief!
368
00:11:54,104 --> 00:11:56,585
RORY: You suck!
That beret needs me!
369
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,152
-Let's get to work.
-[pounding on door]
370
00:11:58,282 --> 00:12:00,850
RORY: I'll get it back!
You don't deserve that beret!
371
00:12:00,981 --> 00:12:02,417
Sleep with your eyes open!
372
00:12:02,547 --> 00:12:03,940
SOPHIE:
I still don't understand.
373
00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:05,768
Dad knows Dr. Biscuits.
374
00:12:05,899 --> 00:12:06,856
Is he in a disguise?
375
00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:07,857
POPPY: Nope.
376
00:12:07,988 --> 00:12:09,598
Costume, maybe.
Could be some props.
377
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,252
But Biscuits
is playing himself --
378
00:12:11,382 --> 00:12:13,645
just himself
as a Will Cooper superfan.
379
00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:15,691
[clicks tongue]
Biscuits is an amazing actor.
380
00:12:15,822 --> 00:12:17,432
-What's he been in?
-I don't know.
381
00:12:17,562 --> 00:12:18,868
WILL: Good evening.
382
00:12:18,999 --> 00:12:21,697
Yes -- Will Cooper.
I know.
383
00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:24,004
Hey, Poppy.
Bloody Mary with bacon
384
00:12:24,134 --> 00:12:26,397
and a tiny burger on the straw.
[clicks tongue]
385
00:12:26,528 --> 00:12:27,659
We don't have those.
386
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:29,618
Can't believe
I used to come here.
387
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:32,012
So...fun lunch?
388
00:12:32,142 --> 00:12:34,797
Fun?
Um, it was revelatory.
389
00:12:34,928 --> 00:12:35,972
[chuckles]
390
00:12:36,103 --> 00:12:37,626
Oh, no.
391
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,236
I've been spotted.
392
00:12:40,803 --> 00:12:41,673
Hey.
393
00:12:41,804 --> 00:12:43,240
You're why I do it.
394
00:12:45,025 --> 00:12:47,897
Okay, you weren't kidding aboutyour dad's self-esteem pendulum.
395
00:12:48,028 --> 00:12:49,377
One lunch, and now
he's ordering straw burgers?
396
00:12:49,507 --> 00:12:51,640
I'm starting to think this
Biscuits thing was a mistake.
397
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,860
-Well, there's
no going back now. -Why not?
398
00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:55,296
Do you not understand
pendulums?
399
00:12:55,426 --> 00:12:56,819
If my dad
finds out the truth,
400
00:12:56,950 --> 00:12:59,735
he'll swing back even harder
in the other direction.
401
00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:01,563
He could turn in
his trench coat
402
00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:02,912
and leave the weather biz
forever.
403
00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:05,045
Trench coat? Who's still
wearing trench coats?
404
00:13:05,175 --> 00:13:06,655
He needs to get rid of that
anyway.
405
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,962
-You guys whispering
about me? -[gasps] Yes, yes.
406
00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:10,615
Great. Let's keep the convo
there and drill down.
407
00:13:10,746 --> 00:13:13,749
See, the thing about me is,
I don't have a fan.
408
00:13:14,924 --> 00:13:15,925
I have a superfan!
409
00:13:16,056 --> 00:13:17,971
In fact,
I have a lot of them.
410
00:13:18,101 --> 00:13:20,016
They have a group text.
Guess what they text about.
411
00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:21,888
Me!
412
00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:22,976
People love me!
413
00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:24,064
But for some reason,
414
00:13:24,194 --> 00:13:25,674
I still don't have
my own office
415
00:13:25,717 --> 00:13:27,067
and I have to park
in the overflow lot
416
00:13:27,197 --> 00:13:30,244
and I was bumped from the promo
for a cartoon sun.
417
00:13:30,374 --> 00:13:31,811
You know what?
418
00:13:32,028 --> 00:13:35,031
I'm gonna call KZOP right now,
and I am going to demand...
419
00:13:35,162 --> 00:13:36,511
-[line ringing]
-...that they re-shoot the promo
420
00:13:36,641 --> 00:13:38,905
and give my superfans
what they want --
421
00:13:39,035 --> 00:13:39,993
me!
422
00:13:40,123 --> 00:13:42,082
And if they say no,
I'll quit.
423
00:13:42,212 --> 00:13:43,735
-[cellphone beeps]
-WILL: Sophie!
424
00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:46,477
Great. Now Tracy Fries is gonna
have a missed call from me.
425
00:13:46,608 --> 00:13:47,914
How am I
gonna explain that?
426
00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:51,178
I'm sorry, Dad.
427
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:53,920
But your superfan,
he's...
428
00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:56,096
...not real.
429
00:13:57,924 --> 00:14:01,101
Will, I wrote Biscuits' name
down in a panic,
430
00:14:01,231 --> 00:14:03,625
and I asked him to play
the role of your superfan.
431
00:14:03,755 --> 00:14:05,279
I am so sorry.
432
00:14:07,194 --> 00:14:08,891
Oh. I see.
433
00:14:09,022 --> 00:14:11,154
Well, I have just gone
434
00:14:11,285 --> 00:14:16,116
from experiencing
a high of euphoria
435
00:14:16,246 --> 00:14:17,857
to a low...
436
00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:19,119
of now.
437
00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:22,252
Back to you, Julie.
438
00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:24,472
[cellphone buzzes]
439
00:14:24,602 --> 00:14:25,690
[exhales sharply]
440
00:14:25,821 --> 00:14:26,953
[cellphone beeps]
441
00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:28,041
Tracy Fries?
442
00:14:28,171 --> 00:14:29,912
Yeah, yeah,
no, I called.
443
00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:33,873
Just to say how much I've been
enjoying the overflow lot.
444
00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:35,831
WILL: Nah,
it couldn't wait.
445
00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:37,572
Ugh. What a day!
446
00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:39,139
I can't believe
how much money
447
00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:40,923
I was giving that kid next door
to take my trash cans in.
448
00:14:41,054 --> 00:14:42,446
Yeah, it felt good
to make him cry.
449
00:14:42,577 --> 00:14:45,188
-[keys clatter]
-Now that he's off the books, Graham can play hockey --
450
00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:47,756
in pads that he'll outgrow
in a month.
451
00:14:47,799 --> 00:14:51,151
Douglas, I could never have
done this without you...
452
00:14:51,281 --> 00:14:52,500
forcing me to do this.
453
00:14:52,630 --> 00:14:53,544
Thank you.
454
00:14:53,675 --> 00:14:55,590
[doorbell rings]
455
00:14:58,027 --> 00:15:00,029
Welcome to my home.
How may I help you?
456
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:01,509
Angie.
457
00:15:01,639 --> 00:15:03,119
W-What's happening?
458
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:05,078
I ordered you a treat
to say thank you
459
00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:07,167
for teaching me how to be
financially responsible.
460
00:15:08,995 --> 00:15:10,170
How much were these?
461
00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:11,127
[scoffs]
It's not important.
462
00:15:11,258 --> 00:15:12,520
-$28.
-Wh-- ah --
463
00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:15,349
I-I'm not eating
a $14 cupcake!
464
00:15:15,479 --> 00:15:16,524
We want to return those.
465
00:15:16,654 --> 00:15:17,960
Have you learned nothing?!
466
00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:19,135
Relax, Douglas.
467
00:15:19,266 --> 00:15:21,355
We made
so much money today!
468
00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:24,184
I-I slashed my convenience tax
burden in half.
469
00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:26,316
There should be
no convenience tax burden.
470
00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:28,449
The convenience tax
is you being lazy.
471
00:15:28,579 --> 00:15:30,016
[scoffs]
472
00:15:30,146 --> 00:15:32,148
Okay, rich white man
473
00:15:32,279 --> 00:15:34,194
with an in-home sauna
who works three days a week.
474
00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:35,978
-[scoffs]
-I'mlazy?
475
00:15:36,109 --> 00:15:36,979
Okay, you're on your own.
476
00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:38,154
Go back to farting away
your money.
477
00:15:38,285 --> 00:15:39,634
Fine! I will, then!
478
00:15:39,764 --> 00:15:41,505
Not the farting part,
but the "being on my own" part.
479
00:15:41,636 --> 00:15:42,985
I don't need your help.
480
00:15:44,204 --> 00:15:45,770
Excuse me.
481
00:15:45,901 --> 00:15:47,424
Did a dude named Ken
used to live here?
482
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:50,036
-Get out.
-'Cause I've seen that wall before, I think.
483
00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:56,303
♪♪
484
00:15:56,433 --> 00:16:01,047
♪♪
485
00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:05,965
♪♪
486
00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:06,966
Mmm.
487
00:16:07,096 --> 00:16:09,272
I wouldn't pay $14 for you,
488
00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:10,970
but if you drop your price
to $12,
489
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:11,927
it's a conversation.
490
00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:13,015
[knock on door]
491
00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:15,365
-ANGIE: Douglas!
-[door opens, closes]
492
00:16:15,496 --> 00:16:16,366
ANGIE: [sighs]
493
00:16:16,497 --> 00:16:18,238
My car got towed.
494
00:16:18,368 --> 00:16:19,979
I finally got you
to park legally.
495
00:16:20,109 --> 00:16:21,589
I watched
with my own eyes
496
00:16:21,719 --> 00:16:24,244
as you parked by a curb
that wasn't a color!
497
00:16:24,374 --> 00:16:26,289
I may have some
outstanding parking tickets.
498
00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:29,423
And I mean "outstanding"
as in "unpaid"
499
00:16:29,553 --> 00:16:31,207
and also as in
"I illegally parked
500
00:16:31,338 --> 00:16:33,035
in some
really cool places."
501
00:16:33,166 --> 00:16:35,646
Does your happiness go up
with my blood pressure?
502
00:16:35,777 --> 00:16:38,649
All right, I'll give you a ride
to the impound lot.
503
00:16:38,780 --> 00:16:40,825
No, I'm gonna call an Uber.
It's surge pricing now, but --
504
00:16:40,956 --> 00:16:42,740
-No!
-All right, look.
505
00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:44,133
I'm sorry, okay?
506
00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:46,048
I-I know
my convenience tax is nuts.
507
00:16:46,179 --> 00:16:47,702
It's just...
508
00:16:47,832 --> 00:16:50,270
if I wait in a long line
at the post office
509
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,272
or drive all the way
to the bargain mall,
510
00:16:52,315 --> 00:16:54,274
it's less time
I get to spend with Graham.
511
00:16:54,404 --> 00:16:55,405
He was just born.
512
00:16:55,536 --> 00:16:56,972
Now he's 8.
513
00:16:57,103 --> 00:17:00,149
And before I know it,
he'll be 18, and...
514
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:01,281
then that's it.
515
00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:04,588
I already had money
when I became a single parent,
516
00:17:04,719 --> 00:17:07,635
and it still felt
impossible.
517
00:17:07,765 --> 00:17:10,464
I honestly don't know
how you do it.
518
00:17:10,594 --> 00:17:12,074
But it amazes me.
519
00:17:13,858 --> 00:17:14,946
Oh, boy.
520
00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:15,947
ANGIE: Ohhh!
521
00:17:16,078 --> 00:17:17,036
All right, that'll --
that'll do.
522
00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:19,038
Let's go.
523
00:17:19,168 --> 00:17:21,866
Hey, do you think if I give
that speech at the impound lot,
524
00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:23,346
they'll just giveme
my car back?
525
00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:25,174
Well, can you
make yourself cry?
526
00:17:25,305 --> 00:17:26,262
Mm, might need
a little help.
527
00:17:26,393 --> 00:17:27,307
Can you get me there?
528
00:17:27,437 --> 00:17:28,308
Oh, yeah.
529
00:17:28,438 --> 00:17:32,921
♪♪
530
00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:34,096
[sighs]
531
00:17:34,227 --> 00:17:36,272
-POPPY: Will, I am so sorry.
-[door closes]
532
00:17:36,403 --> 00:17:38,274
In retrospect,
I shouldn't have hired an actor
533
00:17:38,405 --> 00:17:39,623
to protect
your feelings.
534
00:17:39,754 --> 00:17:41,103
But in my defense,
I didn't know
535
00:17:41,234 --> 00:17:43,192
Biscuits had thatkind
of performance in him.
536
00:17:43,323 --> 00:17:44,411
He really took you
on a journey!
537
00:17:44,541 --> 00:17:45,890
He really did.
538
00:17:46,021 --> 00:17:48,284
But it was a journey I was sopathetically desperate to go on,
539
00:17:48,415 --> 00:17:50,069
it turned me
into a monster.
540
00:17:50,199 --> 00:17:53,159
A Bloody Mary with bacon,
tiny burger on the straw?
541
00:17:53,289 --> 00:17:55,030
Pfft.
Who did I think I was?
542
00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:57,685
French meteorologist
Didier Marceau?
543
00:17:59,513 --> 00:18:01,558
I was stupid to think
I would have a fan,
544
00:18:01,689 --> 00:18:03,256
let alone a superfan.
545
00:18:03,386 --> 00:18:04,213
Dad.
546
00:18:04,344 --> 00:18:06,520
Do you like
doing the weather?
547
00:18:06,650 --> 00:18:07,999
I love it.
548
00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:10,350
Then it doesn't matter
if you don't have a superfan.
549
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:13,309
It doesn't matter
if you neverhave a superfan.
550
00:18:13,353 --> 00:18:15,485
Only one person's opinion
matters.
551
00:18:15,616 --> 00:18:17,966
French meteorologist
Didier Marceau's?
552
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,924
No. Yours.
553
00:18:20,969 --> 00:18:22,101
That is wise.
554
00:18:22,231 --> 00:18:23,363
Thank you.
555
00:18:24,799 --> 00:18:27,236
You really think
I'll neverhave a superfan?
556
00:18:27,367 --> 00:18:28,890
No,
I take that part back.
557
00:18:29,020 --> 00:18:32,111
You will always, always have
at least onesuperfan.
558
00:18:32,241 --> 00:18:33,155
Ruin this moment by saying
559
00:18:33,286 --> 00:18:34,635
"French meteorologist
Didier Marceau,"
560
00:18:34,765 --> 00:18:35,723
and I will knock you out.
561
00:18:35,853 --> 00:18:36,767
Yes, ma'am.
562
00:18:36,898 --> 00:18:37,768
[knock on door]
563
00:18:37,899 --> 00:18:38,943
Mother, I told you,
564
00:18:39,074 --> 00:18:41,120
I don't know what happened
to the hot-glue gun.
565
00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:42,773
-Pbbbbt.
-RORY: Oh. You.
566
00:18:42,904 --> 00:18:44,035
Come to
ransack my wardrobe
567
00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:46,168
or just assume my identity
altogether?
568
00:18:46,299 --> 00:18:47,822
No!
I want to apologize.
569
00:18:47,952 --> 00:18:50,564
Look, I was hurt
when you insulted my taste.
570
00:18:50,694 --> 00:18:52,783
There was a time where I didn't
even have to think about it.
571
00:18:52,914 --> 00:18:54,481
I was just cool.
I had the trip.
572
00:18:54,524 --> 00:18:55,525
And now --
573
00:18:55,656 --> 00:18:56,787
Fatherhood has softened
your edge?
574
00:18:56,918 --> 00:18:59,181
-Hey.
-Sorry, but it has.
575
00:18:59,312 --> 00:19:00,530
And everyone knows it.
576
00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:02,532
I thought this beret
was the solution.
577
00:19:02,663 --> 00:19:04,404
I don't know
how I got it so wrong.
578
00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:06,362
Buying a used hat
at a school auction
579
00:19:06,493 --> 00:19:08,190
really seemed
like a silver bullet.
580
00:19:08,321 --> 00:19:11,150
No. My fashion critiques have
been described as "withering."
581
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,064
-True.
-RORY: I need to learn to rein it in.
582
00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:14,196
Friends?
583
00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:16,416
Friends.
584
00:19:16,546 --> 00:19:18,461
So, I was thinking
we can share the beret.
585
00:19:18,592 --> 00:19:20,463
It's with you
Monday, Wednesday, Friday
586
00:19:20,594 --> 00:19:22,378
and with me
Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday.
587
00:19:22,509 --> 00:19:23,205
On Sundays, we alternate.
588
00:19:23,336 --> 00:19:24,598
Now, vacations
might be a little tou--
589
00:19:24,728 --> 00:19:26,034
Wait. Stop.
590
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,514
Put the beret on.
It's yours.
591
00:19:27,644 --> 00:19:29,429
Oh. Really?
592
00:19:29,559 --> 00:19:30,212
RORY: Yeah.
593
00:19:30,343 --> 00:19:33,302
-Wow! It looks good on you!
-Thank you.
594
00:19:33,433 --> 00:19:35,043
And sure,
berets are on-trend now,
595
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:36,349
but I got to keep moving.
596
00:19:37,915 --> 00:19:39,221
The beret
of the heartland.
597
00:19:40,309 --> 00:19:42,311
Well, now I want
a cowboy hat.
598
00:19:42,442 --> 00:19:44,618
Trish,
this is goodbye.
599
00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:46,402
From now on,
I'll be makingcoffee,
600
00:19:46,533 --> 00:19:48,926
like I'm running
a freakin' A.A. meeting.
601
00:19:49,057 --> 00:19:50,667
So, if I come in here,
602
00:19:50,798 --> 00:19:52,191
I'm gonna need you
to help me be strong
603
00:19:52,321 --> 00:19:53,670
and not sell me coffee.
604
00:19:53,801 --> 00:19:55,585
Can you promise me that?
605
00:19:55,716 --> 00:19:57,457
No. [chuckles]
606
00:19:57,587 --> 00:19:59,850
I'd get in trouble for
refusing coffee to a customer.
607
00:20:00,982 --> 00:20:02,070
I guess that's fair.
608
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,246
And even if nobody knew,
Iwould know.
609
00:20:04,377 --> 00:20:07,641
And ultimately, we're allresponsible to ourselves, Angie.
610
00:20:07,771 --> 00:20:09,382
ANGIE: I'm sorry,
I didn't mean to ask you
611
00:20:09,512 --> 00:20:10,687
to compromise
your beliefs.
612
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,646
To say nothing of the promise
I've made to our shareholders.
613
00:20:12,776 --> 00:20:14,778
-I mean --
-You know, getting out of this conversation
614
00:20:14,909 --> 00:20:17,390
is worth $100 to me.
615
00:20:20,088 --> 00:20:21,872
-Convenience tax.
-Convenience tax.
616
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:28,139
I drove all the way down
to the bargain mall for this.
617
00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:30,272
Oh, no!
Is the mail broken?
618
00:20:30,403 --> 00:20:31,491
No.
619
00:20:31,621 --> 00:20:35,234
But thanks to Douglas,
Mommy's making some changes.
620
00:20:35,364 --> 00:20:38,106
What's
all this armor for?
621
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:39,803
For you,
to play hockey.
622
00:20:39,934 --> 00:20:41,849
Ohhhhh.
623
00:20:42,850 --> 00:20:44,417
Thisis hockey.
624
00:20:44,547 --> 00:20:46,636
I got it confused
with the other one.
625
00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:49,073
I don't want
to do hockey.
626
00:20:49,204 --> 00:20:50,074
What?
627
00:20:50,205 --> 00:20:51,337
No. Yeah, you do.
628
00:20:51,467 --> 00:20:53,600
I want to do the one
where you dive.
629
00:20:53,730 --> 00:20:55,428
What's the one
where you dive called?
630
00:20:55,558 --> 00:20:56,559
Diving?
631
00:20:56,690 --> 00:20:58,257
Yup.
That's the one.
632
00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:00,215
You sure you're thinking
about diving?
633
00:21:00,346 --> 00:21:02,348
You're not thinking of,
like, fencing?
634
00:21:02,478 --> 00:21:03,827
-Nope.
-Great.
635
00:21:03,958 --> 00:21:05,568
I'll just...
636
00:21:05,699 --> 00:21:07,918
give you
one of my bikini bottoms.
637
00:21:10,225 --> 00:21:13,272
Fencing doessound fun.
638
00:21:18,407 --> 00:21:20,975
--Captions by VITAC--
639
00:21:21,025 --> 00:21:25,575
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