Original subtitles

Previously on "Miracle Workers"...

What's going on here in Rosie-land?

I'm working.

Rosie! Rosie! Rosie!

So, we are gonna beta test this puppy all night.

[ Clatter ]

Sam: She's really neat, Nana.

And I'm taking her on, like, a real date.

I'm so excited, Sammy!

Did you hear that? "Real date."

We might actually pull this off.

I mean, barring any unforeseen calamities.

Wait, what's that scary red number mean?

Uh-oh. Oh, no.

[ Elevator bell dings, up-beat music plays ]

[ Elevator bell dings, elevator door opens ]

Woman: Ground floor.

Hello! Welcome to Heaven.

Right this way for orientation.

Welcome to Heaven.

Man: Welcome to Heaven.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Hi. I'm Peg.

Congratulations on your completely random entry

into Heaven.

[ Light applause ]

As employees of Heaven Inc.,

it is our responsibility to keep Earth running smoothly.

We're talking tide control. Gravity enforcement. Teeth.

Your initial department assignments will be random,

except in the case of one incredibly vital position --

executive assistant to God.

Excuse me.

How do I apply?

Follow me.

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

♪♪

[ Woman singing in native language ]

♪ Na, na-na, na

♪ Na, na-na, na

[ Woman singing in native language ]

♪ Na, na-na, na

♪ Na, na-na, na

[ Woman singing in native language ]

♪♪

[ Flames crackling ]♪ Na-na-na, na-na-na

♪ Na-na, na-na, na-na

♪ Na, na-na, na

♪ Na, na-na, na

[ Woman singing in native language ]

Wow. Here's your desk.

If I may ask, why was that test so complex?

We needed to find someone who could handle...a lot.

Well, I'm so honored that you think I'm qualified.

Mm-hmm.

I always wanted to have a job

where I could make a positive impact

and do something meaningful.

God: ♪ Diddly-diddly, bop-bop, be-bop ♪

♪ Ba-doo-bop, bip-bop, a-doo

Who's that? I'm sorry.

What? Goodbye.

What -- What do you mean, "goodbye"? What?

[ God scatting ]

Hey-o! New assistant alert.

Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop!

[ Laughs ] That was the alert.

[ Laughs ]

Hi. I'm God.

I-I'm Rosie.

All right, follow me.

I hope you're ready to hit the ground running,

because we've got a real challenge ahead of us.

I was able to crack the box,

but, uh, this bag ain't going down without a fight.

Can you, uh...

♪♪

Whoa! Muscle fingers.

[ Laughing ] Oh, yeah.

[ Crunching ]

I guess that's everything.

Oh! Look.

I got a prize. [ Chuckles ]

Vroom! Vroom! Vroom!

Oh, I'm keeping you.

Um, put this on the shelf for me.

Thank you.

Yeah.

[ Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata" plays ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Bell dinging ]

♪♪

[ Screaming ]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Computer beeping ]

I don't get it.

Sam's grandma looks healthy to me.

Yeah, well, she's about to drop dead.

When she dies, he's gonna freak out,

cancel the date, and fly home.

Are we sure he's gonna fly home?

Maybe they're not that close.

They're pretty close.

Voice breaking- A toast.

To the most wonderful,

inspiring...

and caring person that I have ever known.

This one's for you.

[ To the tune of "Amazing Grace" ] ♪ Amazing Nana

Oh, shit.♪ How sweet you are♪

We have to keep Nana alive.

Then we'll have to go down to the basement.

What's in the basement?

Death.

[ God scatting ]

[ Telephone rings ]

Heaven Inc. God's Office. Rosie. What's up?

Mike: Rosie, hi. My name is Mike.

I'm the Senior Vice President over at the Zebulon Galaxy,

recently voted the top galaxy in the omniverse.

I'm not sure that my boss is around at the moment.

Actually, Rosie, we're calling for you. Me?

Word got out the Earth is going under,

and we're always on the lookout for top talent.

I'd love to buy you a cup of coffee

and tell you what we're all about here at Zebulon.

Only if you have time, of course.

Rosie! Lazy Susan's now has a signature cocktail.

And it's thick.

I have time.

[ Switch clicks loudly, electricity humming ]

How much bog could a bog frog hog if bog frog could hog bog?

What are you doing?Sorry. It's --

I can't control it. It's a habit.

It's something I do when I get very nervous.

What's there to be nervous about?

Cleo: Hello.Aah!

Hello.

Are you Death?

No. That'sDeath.

[ Electricity crackling ]

Cool. Uh, we were wondering --

Is there any way we could maybe keep this lady alive?

How are you today?

Cleo: That's going to be difficult.

At birth, every human

is randomly assigned an expiration date.

You can die before your time, but not after.

There's gotta be something we can do.

I suppose you could file a death waiver.

That'll postpone her death for 100 days.

Okay, great. That -- That --

That's a real relief. Thank you.

First, you have to get it signed by God.

Good luck.

♪♪

What if we just asked him nicely, obviously?

Craig, there's no way he's signing this.

I bet Rosie can get him to do it.

She has him sign stuff all the time.

[ Chuckles ]

Rosie, Rosie, Rosie, my favorite co-worker.

Is that a new blazer?

-Not now. -Rosie, please.

We need your help.

If God doesn't sign this, the Earth will explode.

Maybe it should.

If you want my advice, jump ship.

Find somewhere else to work.

Somewhere that isn't run by an illiterate madman.

Did she just say "illiterate"?

[ God scatting ]

Rosie was joking, though, right?

I mean, God must be able to read.

And yet, if he can't, it would explain a lot.

For example, every time I've seen him "reading,"

it looked like his eyes weren't moving.

Maybe he's just a slow reader.

Maybe, but -- but -- but --

but looking back, there was another thing.

Are you sure you want to do that?

Do what exactly? Brush my teeth?

Yeah, but with foot cream?

[ Classical music plays ]

Yes.

This is what I want.

♪♪

It would make me really sad if God couldn't read.

But if it's true, we can trick him into signing this.

What? Mm...It's our only chance.

We're running out of time.

I say we gotta risk it.No, wait.

[ Muttering ]

Howdy, boozehounds.

Just in time for Happy Hour.

All right, now, every bar has cocktails.

But only Lazy Susan's has Shocktails!

Oh.

Drink up!

Mm... [ Gags ]

Yeah, the first shock is how much liquor is in them.

Yeah. Wow.The second shock is,

there are little prizes in the bottom.

[ Gags, coughs ]

Ah.

Looks like this lucky bastard found the dice.

Hey, God,

uh, could you sign something for us?

What is it? Well, word got out

that you were working on cool new drinks for Lazy Susan's,

and we figured you might need a [Clicks tongue]

liquor license. Yeah.

Oh, wow, Sanjay. Keepin' me two steps ahead of Johnny Law.

I'll be right back.

Okay. Nice.

Guys, I'm beginning to second-guess this plan.

I mean, what if he finds out? He's gonna be furious.

Don't worry, okay? Deep down, God's a softie.

I've never seen him get mad.

What in the [bleep] is this?!

I ordered a burger and curlyfries.

What -- Um, I'm pretty sure it was regular fries.

Regular fries?![ Clatter ]

If there's one thing that makes me angry,

it's when someone tries to trick me.

Tries to play me for a fool.

I-I'm sorry. It's too late!

The trick's already been played.

You [bleep] up, hombre.

[ Buzzer ]

♪♪

Give him the punishment.

♪♪

What the hell?

Ohh! Ohh!

[ Groaning ]

[ Pop ]

♪♪

[ Sniffs ]

Don't go anywhere.

Did he just turn that guy into a jelly bean?!

I don't know.

Here's some information about Zebulon.

Oh, my gosh.

Rosie, I'm gonna cut straight to the chase.

We think you're more than qualified

to be Zebulon's next executive project manager.

Wow.

We're prepared to offer a highly competitive salary,

as well as a suite of perks,

including a personal chef, on-call masseuse,

private golf course, a company car, a bag of jewels.

But most importantly, you'll finally have a chance

to make a positive impact and do something meaningful.

Let's be real, Rosie.

You deserve better than Heaven.

I'm in.

Great.

Can we go now?

Can we go right now? Let's go.

Unfortunately, we can't poach you.

So you will have to wait here until the Earth explodes.

-It won't be long. -Cheers.

...bog frog hog if a bog frog could hog bog?

What is happening? What is happening?Could he hog the whole bog, would he snog another frog

on a log in the fog of a bog?Be cool. Be cool!

Bog-bog frog with a billy-bog hog that he flogs by the bog with a log.

Pull it together!Through the fog and the smog, Mr. Frog was agog...

Stop saying those words! I need you to stay with me!

[ Speaking indistinctly ]We're gonna be fine.

Okay. Trust me. He can't read, okay?

He can't read.

[ God whistling ]

Hey. [ Chuckles ]

Want to know a little secret?

I can't read.

Ah.

Without my glasses.

[ Clears throat ]

[ Breathes deeply ]

[ Laughs ] I've just been revisiting "Oliver Twist."

I know. Dickens is a little pedestrian,

but, uh, what can I say?

I'm a populist.

[ Laughs ]

[ Laughs nervously ][ Laughs nervously ]

So, let's see that liquor license.

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

Interesting.

♪♪

Very, very interesting.

[ Breathes deeply ]

Yeah. Looks good to me.

[ Sighs ]

[ Breathing heavily ]

Rosie: Wait.

Before you sign, maybe I should have a look

at the fine print. Just to be safe.

Oh, well, that's good thinking, Rosa-reen-o.

[ Scatting ]

Nice try.

I told you guys to let this whole thing go.

Just get out of here before he turns you into beans.

Wait. So, is that confirmed?

That is actually what happened?

W-Why won't anybody answer me?

No one is even looking at me.

Look at me!

Rosie, if you don't care about Earth,

don't you at least care about keeping your job?

I found a better one.

Executive Project Manager at Zebulon.

Respect.

♪♪

Let's get out of here. Wait.

Why do you want to work for this place?

Because they're the best.Exactly.

They're the best. They don't need any help.

Meanwhile, this place is such a crazy mess,

it's about to go under, and the only ones

trying to fix things are the three of us,

and we have no idea what we're doing.

None. Hm.

I am objectively bad at my job --

I have accidentally killed a ton of people --

and [Chuckles] I'm the leader of this group.

It's true.She leads us.

Look. We are about to get turned into beans.

We are desperate for someone like you.

You can go to Zebulon,

but if you do that, your talents will be wasted.

'Cause those people don't need you.

We do.

[ God scatting ]

All right. Now that you've tried the small,

you got to try the medium.

How's that fine print looking, Rosie?

It looks like a standard liquor license.

Yes! She saved us! No, I gave it away!

He knows!

Craig...[ Whimpers ]

Rosie, would you mind reading the document out loud?

[ Knuckles crack ]

[ Clears throat ]

"This contract for the sale of alcoholic beverages

is between Lazy Susan's Enterprises

and the Transdimensional Law Enforcement Bureau.

Upon signing,

the sale of spirits, such as Shocktails,

will be legally permitted."

Would you like to write in any amendments?

Nah.

[ Chuckles ] Sounds good to me.

[ Clears throat ]

[ Pen scratches ]

Eliza: Oh. We gotta go.

Oh.

Uh... Thank you.

...you haven't tried the -- What? Oh.

[ Door closes ]All right.

Woman: Life extension granted.

100 days.

Congratulations. Yes!

[ Chuckles ]

♪♪

This one?

Or this one?

You can wear one on the first date

and one on the second.

Nana.

To Nana.

No. To Rosie.

Congrats. Zebulon is lucky to have you.

They don't have me until the Earth explodes.

And maybe it won't.

♪♪

Mm.

♪♪

All right. Well, this calls for an extra-special toast.

I pilfered this from upstairs.

Wow, Craig.

Pretty bold.Yeah. I was very drunk.

I still am.

Cheers. Oh.

-Cheers. -Cheers.

Rosie: So, we should get back to work.

-Yeah. -What?

[ Computer beeping ]Oh, okay.

Uh, Hello?

Hello?

God: Good evening, Craig.

Um...you --

you wanted to see me, sir?

I couldn't help but notice that some

of my signature Shocktail umbrellas have gone missing.

Have they? Oh, no.

I don't think they blew away.

Do youthink they blew away, Craig?

I'm so sorry.

I only took a few umbrellas.

I-I really like umbrellas.

[ Sighs ] We all like umbrellas.

They turn every drink into a party.

See? [ Chuckles ]

Aren't we having fun now?

[ Laughs ]

You stabbed me in the back.

It's time for the punishment.

[ Gasps ][ Door opens ]

Oh...no.

♪♪

Oh, how much bog could a bog frog hog

if a bog frog could hog bog?

Shh.

It's over.

It's done.

[ Smooches ]

[ Door closes ]

Okay, so, check it out --

I love root-beer-flavored jelly beans,

but they only put one in each jar.

And the lids are screwed on tight.

So the punishment is, you open that jar,

find me a root beer, and then fork over that bean.

Go ahead.

[ Grunts ][ Pop ]

Here you go.

[ Sighs ]

Punishment served. Oh.

Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you back there.

No, it's okay. I-I understand.

You -- You were trying to teach me a lesson,

and I have definitely learned it.

I'm very sorry and also very relieved

that this is the...whole punishment?

Yep. This is it.

This is it.

[ Laughter ]

This is it.

[ Laughter continues ]

The firsttime.

♪♪

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0