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1
00:00:07,245 --> 00:00:09,885
Keith and family are about
to fly the cooperooni.
2
00:00:09,965 --> 00:00:11,365
Hi, Keith Dick. New owner.
3
00:00:11,445 --> 00:00:13,645
I live for fashion. I'm a clothes whore.
4
00:00:14,165 --> 00:00:15,485
I am an objectophile.
5
00:00:15,565 --> 00:00:18,165
You need to give up your pie
in the sky dreams.
6
00:00:18,245 --> 00:00:20,885
-My Dick, My Dick, My Dick!
-My Dick, My Dick, My Dick!
7
00:00:20,965 --> 00:00:23,845
We both decided
to go to college in America.
8
00:00:23,925 --> 00:00:24,805
-College!
-College!
9
00:00:24,885 --> 00:00:26,085
Hey, Beanstalk.
10
00:00:26,165 --> 00:00:27,205
Go to hell!
11
00:00:29,165 --> 00:00:31,045
I set up my own YouTube channel.
12
00:00:31,125 --> 00:00:33,765
Hi, Beckinators, it's party time.
13
00:00:33,845 --> 00:00:35,925
Get off of my sister, you drug addict!
14
00:00:36,005 --> 00:00:37,285
You are acting like a slut.
15
00:00:37,365 --> 00:00:38,365
I'm moving out.
16
00:00:38,445 --> 00:00:42,005
I am, in fact, a 7'3" girl.
17
00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:43,405
I'm going to England.
18
00:00:43,485 --> 00:00:45,045
-Dope...
-Gavin's the future.
19
00:00:45,365 --> 00:00:47,365
-...as... fuck.
-The next Earl of Gayhurst.
20
00:00:47,485 --> 00:00:48,485
Dope as fuck.
21
00:00:48,565 --> 00:00:51,485
We're trying to immerse Gavin
in Gayhurst culture.
22
00:00:51,565 --> 00:00:53,005
Come here, you dumb cunts.
23
00:00:53,085 --> 00:00:54,965
We think it's slowly really sinking in.
24
00:00:55,045 --> 00:00:57,805
If you wanna fuck
Let's fuck, fuck, fuck
25
00:00:57,885 --> 00:00:59,725
How silly can you be? Just get out.
26
00:00:59,805 --> 00:01:03,605
My cousin Gavin does not want
to be the next Earl.
27
00:01:04,125 --> 00:01:06,965
I was put on this Earth
to talk to the animals.
28
00:01:07,045 --> 00:01:09,205
Your breath is so beautiful.
29
00:01:09,285 --> 00:01:11,325
This is my personal assistant, Kylie.
30
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:12,725
Squeeze me harder.
31
00:01:12,805 --> 00:01:14,285
I couldn't live without her.
32
00:01:14,365 --> 00:01:16,725
Inseminating someone is not a big deal.
33
00:01:17,045 --> 00:01:19,045
Natasha, my pet aardvark.
34
00:01:19,125 --> 00:01:20,445
I wanted to bring her home.
35
00:01:20,525 --> 00:01:22,805
Jana, I can't go to Zimbabwe with you.
36
00:01:22,885 --> 00:01:24,885
I need that aardvark back in my life.
37
00:01:24,965 --> 00:01:25,925
Natasha!
38
00:01:27,885 --> 00:01:29,005
Say that you love me.
39
00:01:29,085 --> 00:01:30,485
I'm just in love with Craig.
40
00:01:30,565 --> 00:01:31,925
Do you love Jana?
41
00:01:32,005 --> 00:01:33,285
That's Miele throughout.
42
00:01:33,365 --> 00:01:35,005
I dabble in DJing a bit.
43
00:01:35,085 --> 00:01:37,405
Me and my brothers,
we've all got massive asses.
44
00:01:37,485 --> 00:01:39,445
This is the development
that I'm working on.
45
00:01:39,525 --> 00:01:41,165
-It's not good, Quentin.
-It is.
46
00:01:41,245 --> 00:01:42,845
I can't build it for free.
47
00:01:42,925 --> 00:01:44,645
Calm down, mate.
48
00:01:44,725 --> 00:01:46,845
This is the answer
to all our financial shit.
49
00:01:46,925 --> 00:01:50,445
I want to be Australia's
best real estate agent/DJ.
50
00:01:52,485 --> 00:01:55,485
But I just wanna party
51
00:01:55,565 --> 00:01:57,565
Someone please get the cockatoo
52
00:01:57,645 --> 00:02:00,085
Joyce hasn't been seen in public
for years.
53
00:02:00,165 --> 00:02:01,485
This is all my stuff.
54
00:02:01,565 --> 00:02:04,245
My boyfriend, Les, he's a truck driver.
55
00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:06,245
He's threatened to call the council on me.
56
00:02:06,325 --> 00:02:07,285
Rack off.
57
00:02:07,365 --> 00:02:08,285
I'm getting evicted.
58
00:02:08,365 --> 00:02:09,925
We're here to clear out the house.
59
00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:11,885
Get out of my house, you deadshit!
60
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:13,285
It's Les!
61
00:02:13,365 --> 00:02:14,725
Let's have a groupie!
62
00:02:14,805 --> 00:02:15,925
I love you, guys.
63
00:02:39,965 --> 00:02:42,045
Oh. Great. You're early!
64
00:02:42,325 --> 00:02:44,085
I've got my bloody rollers in.
65
00:02:45,805 --> 00:02:48,045
Yeah, so a lot's changed
in the last few months.
66
00:02:49,005 --> 00:02:50,885
Joyce has been a ray of sunshine to me.
67
00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:52,925
We've moved in together,
68
00:02:53,005 --> 00:02:54,765
and I've moved the collection here.
69
00:02:54,845 --> 00:02:56,205
I'm a collector also.
70
00:02:56,285 --> 00:02:57,125
And--
71
00:02:57,525 --> 00:03:00,965
Yeah, we've combined
the two respective collections together.
72
00:03:01,045 --> 00:03:01,885
Right.
73
00:03:03,765 --> 00:03:04,965
Just drop that there.
74
00:03:05,605 --> 00:03:09,365
Alright, when I say "Action,"
then you start on that, then you go to me.
75
00:03:09,445 --> 00:03:12,685
So, go to that and then I'll say--
All right. Action.
76
00:03:15,725 --> 00:03:17,605
This is it. Welcome to the museum.
77
00:03:17,685 --> 00:03:19,125
Les and Joyce's museum.
78
00:03:21,405 --> 00:03:23,085
She's finally got her museum.
79
00:03:23,645 --> 00:03:25,765
This is it. It's built
like a brick shithouse.
80
00:03:25,845 --> 00:03:27,285
It's got all my stuff in it.
81
00:03:27,365 --> 00:03:29,005
Come on in. We're open for business.
82
00:03:29,205 --> 00:03:31,525
Here's all my stuff. Got it all organized.
83
00:03:31,605 --> 00:03:33,125
All my toys in there.
84
00:03:33,205 --> 00:03:34,205
I got my fish.
85
00:03:34,285 --> 00:03:36,965
I got my Tutankhamuns, my beads...
86
00:03:37,045 --> 00:03:38,285
My Cabbage Patches.
87
00:03:38,365 --> 00:03:40,165
My horsey, my TV Weeks.
88
00:03:40,765 --> 00:03:41,925
Here's the good Rodzilla.
89
00:03:42,005 --> 00:03:44,365
I've got a lot of Rodzillas,
but that's the good one.
90
00:03:44,445 --> 00:03:47,445
Got my corncob hulls, my toothpicks,
my rubber band--
91
00:03:47,525 --> 00:03:49,165
So much good stuff!
92
00:03:49,645 --> 00:03:52,245
-It's all organized.
-It's been a big job, as you can see,
93
00:03:52,885 --> 00:03:54,925
and we're charging a small entry fee.
94
00:03:55,045 --> 00:03:57,165
But, eventually we'd like
to get bus tours in.
95
00:03:57,245 --> 00:03:59,405
We're really going to try
and make a go of this.
96
00:03:59,485 --> 00:04:00,325
He's my boyfriend,
97
00:04:00,405 --> 00:04:03,245
and boyfriends are good at doing
all this kind of organization.
98
00:04:03,325 --> 00:04:04,885
Yeah, we've got so much in common.
99
00:04:04,965 --> 00:04:07,245
-Too much in common.
-That's what makes it awesome.
100
00:04:07,325 --> 00:04:09,005
-It's friggin' awesome.
-Yeah.
101
00:04:09,085 --> 00:04:09,925
Right.
102
00:04:10,245 --> 00:04:11,525
I'll give you some slack.
103
00:04:11,765 --> 00:04:12,605
There you go.
104
00:04:13,045 --> 00:04:13,965
Thank you.
105
00:04:14,245 --> 00:04:15,405
You think it's a million?
106
00:04:15,885 --> 00:04:16,725
I think so, love.
107
00:04:17,405 --> 00:04:19,365
There's a legend that Joyce has told me
108
00:04:19,605 --> 00:04:21,845
that if we get a million of these cranes,
109
00:04:22,285 --> 00:04:23,525
they'll reach up to heaven.
110
00:04:23,605 --> 00:04:25,805
We're trying to make them
reach up to the clouds
111
00:04:25,885 --> 00:04:27,925
and I might have
to get a rope or something
112
00:04:28,005 --> 00:04:30,245
and throw it up
on the top of the structure here.
113
00:04:30,325 --> 00:04:32,165
Yeah, it looks like a million from here.
114
00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,485
Just a quick reminder,
ladies and gentlemen,
115
00:04:37,565 --> 00:04:40,485
Les to the museum. Les to the museum.
116
00:04:41,445 --> 00:04:42,285
Here he comes.
117
00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:44,845
And we're selling items
as well as buying them.
118
00:04:45,405 --> 00:04:48,045
-That's another one sold.
-Yeah, well--
119
00:04:48,125 --> 00:04:50,165
Just think of what you can
do with the money.
120
00:04:50,285 --> 00:04:52,965
People are buying stuff like hotcakes.
I'm over it.
121
00:04:53,045 --> 00:04:54,925
But, by selling stuff, we're not in debt.
122
00:04:55,005 --> 00:04:58,685
We can buy more stuff for the collection.
It's just going to be better all around.
123
00:04:58,765 --> 00:04:59,605
It's not fair.
124
00:04:59,685 --> 00:05:00,965
Well, you're alright, love.
125
00:05:01,285 --> 00:05:02,205
You're alright.
126
00:05:02,285 --> 00:05:04,525
I've got lots of other friends too.
127
00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:07,205
They've all loved the museum,
so they've moved in.
128
00:05:07,285 --> 00:05:09,765
Here's little Tony.
He's in his room at the moment.
129
00:05:10,045 --> 00:05:12,565
Door's locked, so I can't.
Tony, are you in there?
130
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:13,925
Are you, sweetheart?
131
00:05:14,005 --> 00:05:15,885
Yeah, 'cause he's actually my son.
132
00:05:16,485 --> 00:05:18,685
I'll leave 20 cents out for you, mate,
133
00:05:18,765 --> 00:05:21,285
so you can get some pekoe
on your way home from school.
134
00:05:21,365 --> 00:05:22,885
Just leave the change out for me.
135
00:05:23,405 --> 00:05:25,205
I'll give Big Jessie a call too.
136
00:05:25,285 --> 00:05:26,685
Just see if she's alright.
137
00:05:28,325 --> 00:05:30,965
Hi, Big Jessie is that you?
Yeah, it's Joyce.
138
00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:33,565
This is the message.
I'll leave a message for--
139
00:05:33,765 --> 00:05:36,525
Sweetheart, I need you to come home
and clean your room.
140
00:05:36,605 --> 00:05:38,805
Yeah, cool-- It beeped.
141
00:05:38,885 --> 00:05:39,845
It's cut out.
142
00:05:40,245 --> 00:05:43,005
I bloody hate iPhones.
I prefer an Android.
143
00:05:43,565 --> 00:05:46,365
Put all my teddies here,
my candles...
144
00:05:46,445 --> 00:05:48,285
Yeah, and we've got Joyce's dad up here.
145
00:05:48,725 --> 00:05:51,645
We found this. This is the horse
that was my dad's.
146
00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:54,085
-Yeah.
-Yes, this is one of their precious items.
147
00:05:54,805 --> 00:05:56,285
That's going to stay right here.
148
00:05:56,365 --> 00:05:58,005
-That's the main precious one.
-Yeah.
149
00:05:58,085 --> 00:06:03,085
Les said that if we ever find the teddy
that the deadshit man sold onlne,
150
00:06:03,165 --> 00:06:04,645
that we might buy it back.
151
00:06:05,045 --> 00:06:06,325
We'd definitely buy it back.
152
00:06:06,405 --> 00:06:08,445
-Don't worry, we'll get it back.
-I hope so.
153
00:06:08,685 --> 00:06:09,965
-Yeah, we will.
-Yeah.
154
00:06:11,045 --> 00:06:12,205
It's Princess Diana Day.
155
00:06:14,445 --> 00:06:16,205
Hello, how are you?
156
00:06:16,285 --> 00:06:17,765
It's Shy Di here.
157
00:06:18,325 --> 00:06:19,725
Where is Charles?
158
00:06:19,805 --> 00:06:21,645
Charles, I can't see you.
159
00:06:21,725 --> 00:06:23,645
I want to marry you today.
160
00:06:24,605 --> 00:06:26,765
How are you? How are you going?
161
00:06:27,325 --> 00:06:28,845
She has a lot of fun living here,
162
00:06:28,925 --> 00:06:31,805
but I'm on the road a fair bit,
and she's here a lot on her own.
163
00:06:32,285 --> 00:06:34,805
So, Rhonda's over here quite a bit,
her best friend,
164
00:06:34,885 --> 00:06:36,325
and she's a really good Sheila.
165
00:06:36,805 --> 00:06:38,645
Lady Di's here. Look out.
166
00:06:38,725 --> 00:06:41,045
That's Princess of Wales to you, Rhonda.
167
00:06:41,125 --> 00:06:42,605
It's actually me. It's Joyce.
168
00:06:42,685 --> 00:06:44,045
I know it's you.
169
00:06:44,125 --> 00:06:45,925
-Hi.
-Hi.
170
00:06:46,005 --> 00:06:47,285
I got you a scrunchie.
171
00:06:47,525 --> 00:06:48,485
-A silver one.
-Okay.
172
00:06:48,805 --> 00:06:51,205
I haven't bloody seen you in ages.
173
00:06:51,285 --> 00:06:53,245
I was here yesterday, you goose.
174
00:06:53,525 --> 00:06:57,845
Come inside, you stupid lady
You call me a goose
175
00:06:58,205 --> 00:07:00,525
Come inside, you stupid lady
176
00:07:00,605 --> 00:07:02,325
You think I'm a moose
177
00:07:02,405 --> 00:07:05,085
Come inside, you stupid lady
178
00:07:05,165 --> 00:07:06,845
-You call me a moose
-Call me a goose
179
00:07:06,925 --> 00:07:08,125
Get in the house.
180
00:07:16,485 --> 00:07:19,365
I turned the main light on.
Just check that out.
181
00:07:20,005 --> 00:07:20,925
My bed.
182
00:07:21,485 --> 00:07:23,165
Dylan, you'll be sleeping there.
183
00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:26,045
Don't know where you're sleeping,
you have to ask my mum.
184
00:07:26,125 --> 00:07:28,005
My cousins from England...
185
00:07:28,445 --> 00:07:29,645
are staying...
186
00:07:30,525 --> 00:07:32,685
for the holidays in Adelaide.
187
00:07:33,605 --> 00:07:34,565
Fuck off.
188
00:07:36,445 --> 00:07:38,885
I organized a couple
of lit-tivities for them.
189
00:07:39,525 --> 00:07:41,885
Gavin, fuck off.
190
00:07:42,445 --> 00:07:44,205
I want to be a good host,
191
00:07:44,405 --> 00:07:46,125
make sure they have a good time.
192
00:07:48,565 --> 00:07:50,885
So, if during the night,
193
00:07:50,965 --> 00:07:52,965
you get a stiffy and you need to piss...
194
00:07:53,325 --> 00:07:54,645
you stand up here...
195
00:07:57,845 --> 00:08:01,325
Then, just make a fountain
out the window, like this.
196
00:08:02,725 --> 00:08:04,405
Don't worry about stepping on me,
197
00:08:04,925 --> 00:08:07,765
because I sleep like a log of shit.
198
00:08:08,445 --> 00:08:09,965
Dylan, my cousin...
199
00:08:10,445 --> 00:08:14,645
is my actual virtual best mate, now.
200
00:08:14,765 --> 00:08:16,725
Mum, come here.
201
00:08:16,805 --> 00:08:19,285
Reason: he is...
202
00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:20,405
a fun cunt,
203
00:08:20,805 --> 00:08:22,205
he gives no fucks...
204
00:08:23,125 --> 00:08:24,285
Fuck, it's a snake.
205
00:08:25,605 --> 00:08:28,925
...and he's always up for fun shit.
206
00:08:29,005 --> 00:08:30,325
Do you want to do drugs?
207
00:08:31,565 --> 00:08:34,285
Mum, can we have the vitamin C, please?
208
00:08:36,965 --> 00:08:38,005
Alright.
209
00:08:38,085 --> 00:08:39,445
Check this out.
210
00:08:40,485 --> 00:08:41,925
That one's for you.
211
00:08:42,045 --> 00:08:43,445
You snort this.
212
00:08:43,685 --> 00:08:46,365
Nek minute...
you start tripping hella ASAP.
213
00:08:50,285 --> 00:08:51,365
Snort it.
214
00:08:53,085 --> 00:08:54,565
Has yours kicked in yet?
215
00:08:55,845 --> 00:08:57,285
I think I'm hallucinating.
216
00:09:00,085 --> 00:09:01,285
Oh, yeah.
217
00:09:01,805 --> 00:09:03,965
I honestly fucking love you.
218
00:09:08,165 --> 00:09:09,165
Wow. Yeah.
219
00:09:09,245 --> 00:09:10,645
Have you tried to fuck Ingrid?
220
00:09:11,405 --> 00:09:15,325
Seriously, cunt, I'm going to come back
in a year's time,
221
00:09:15,405 --> 00:09:17,885
and I'm going to try and slip the slug in.
222
00:09:18,205 --> 00:09:20,205
So, back the fuck off.
223
00:09:21,125 --> 00:09:23,245
Oh, by the way, show me the ruler.
224
00:09:24,205 --> 00:09:27,725
See that? That's my dong size
six months ago...
225
00:09:28,205 --> 00:09:30,045
and that's my dong size now.
226
00:09:31,605 --> 00:09:32,805
It's not that different,
227
00:09:33,565 --> 00:09:35,765
but every millimeter counts.
228
00:09:36,365 --> 00:09:38,165
Cover your eyes up. Don't look.
229
00:09:39,365 --> 00:09:41,205
Don't look at anything I'm doing.
230
00:09:41,405 --> 00:09:43,165
Even though it's not Easter,
231
00:09:43,805 --> 00:09:45,605
I've organized an Easter egg hunt.
232
00:09:47,165 --> 00:09:48,165
See these?
233
00:09:49,445 --> 00:09:50,845
I got them two years ago.
234
00:09:51,365 --> 00:09:52,645
and I stored them.
235
00:09:53,285 --> 00:09:55,325
And I've licked every single one of them,
236
00:09:55,405 --> 00:09:57,285
because I don't want my mum to nick them.
237
00:09:58,005 --> 00:09:59,405
You just scrape it off.
238
00:10:01,925 --> 00:10:02,805
Okay.
239
00:10:02,885 --> 00:10:03,725
Go.
240
00:10:05,725 --> 00:10:07,445
Hurry up. You're not going to get any.
241
00:10:07,765 --> 00:10:10,045
You guys can have them.
I don't need any.
242
00:10:11,125 --> 00:10:12,685
I'm not actually that hungry.
243
00:10:26,525 --> 00:10:28,885
So, it's just a light spray
in your favorite color.
244
00:10:28,965 --> 00:10:30,845
I've chosen a fire engine red.
245
00:10:30,925 --> 00:10:32,445
So, while I'm working on that,
246
00:10:32,525 --> 00:10:34,365
Lucy's working on the fringed edge.
247
00:10:34,605 --> 00:10:37,805
She's cutting roughly one inch apart
strips along the bottom.
248
00:10:37,885 --> 00:10:39,125
It's going to look amazing.
249
00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:40,365
But, Beckinators...
250
00:10:40,605 --> 00:10:43,045
you want to see
the final products don't you?
251
00:10:43,765 --> 00:10:45,685
-Sisters by chance...
-Sisters by chance...
252
00:10:46,565 --> 00:10:48,285
-friends by choice.
-friends by choice.
253
00:10:50,405 --> 00:10:52,325
On today's Kraftaholik episode,
254
00:10:52,645 --> 00:10:54,925
we're going to be making macramé masks,
255
00:10:55,245 --> 00:10:57,725
razor mirrors and alfalfa bibles.
256
00:10:58,605 --> 00:11:01,565
The last six months
have been literally awesome.
257
00:11:02,205 --> 00:11:05,365
Since me and Lucy made up,
we've been pretty much inseparable.
258
00:11:05,445 --> 00:11:07,405
Yeah, it's like we were before.
259
00:11:07,485 --> 00:11:10,365
Yeah, except I'm sort of
more chilled out now, don't you reckon?
260
00:11:10,445 --> 00:11:12,005
Like, I'm all sort of, "Have fun,"
261
00:11:12,085 --> 00:11:14,445
-and, just like... "Enjoy Uni life."
-Yeah.
262
00:11:14,645 --> 00:11:15,645
Definitely. It's...
263
00:11:15,725 --> 00:11:17,725
It's honestly like
she's a whole new person.
264
00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:19,445
-Yeah.
-Yeah... and braces off too.
265
00:11:19,525 --> 00:11:20,365
New teeth.
266
00:11:20,965 --> 00:11:22,245
Everyone's complementing me.
267
00:11:22,445 --> 00:11:24,765
I'm thinking the mirror
should be like to the left,
268
00:11:24,845 --> 00:11:26,885
because it's kind of a confronting thing.
269
00:11:26,965 --> 00:11:27,965
Oh, hey, guys.
270
00:11:28,245 --> 00:11:29,725
Hi. Jane, watch.
271
00:11:29,805 --> 00:11:31,525
I'm really busy, but stay there.
272
00:11:33,925 --> 00:11:35,645
-Hi, Lingers.
-Hey, Becky.
273
00:11:35,725 --> 00:11:37,005
Congrats on all this.
274
00:11:37,085 --> 00:11:37,925
Thanks.
275
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,645
Good to see you, Lingers.
276
00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:41,325
Since I came out as a freak,
277
00:11:41,525 --> 00:11:43,365
I lost a lot of my fans on YouTube.
278
00:11:43,925 --> 00:11:46,325
Then, the weirdest things
started to happen.
279
00:11:46,445 --> 00:11:48,565
I've started to gain fans.
280
00:11:48,765 --> 00:11:51,725
It was weird, people just liked me
for being me.
281
00:11:51,805 --> 00:11:53,005
She's so huge right now.
282
00:11:53,205 --> 00:11:55,325
I just unleashed the freak
and people liked it.
283
00:11:59,605 --> 00:12:01,005
Verity B.
284
00:12:05,645 --> 00:12:07,085
Ramon.
285
00:12:13,845 --> 00:12:16,245
Albino!
286
00:12:20,565 --> 00:12:23,205
Becky, the Beadster!
287
00:12:26,205 --> 00:12:29,805
The Freak-Con national tour
has been a real game-changer for me.
288
00:12:29,885 --> 00:12:32,725
It's been so good to meet my fans
face to face
289
00:12:32,805 --> 00:12:34,965
and just, like, work with other vloggers
290
00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:37,605
and people who are
just a little bit different, like me.
291
00:12:43,205 --> 00:12:44,165
Alright!
292
00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:46,885
Everybody up, one by one, please.
293
00:12:46,965 --> 00:12:49,765
And when you have your photo taken,
please come off the stage.
294
00:12:50,045 --> 00:12:52,485
The other freaks and I
are just really close.
295
00:12:52,565 --> 00:12:54,325
We've just bonded so much.
296
00:12:54,845 --> 00:12:57,605
I feel like I've found my people.
Like, they're my tribe.
297
00:12:58,965 --> 00:13:00,725
Verity, Verity, come down!
298
00:13:01,245 --> 00:13:03,445
Who's gonna go? You?
299
00:13:03,525 --> 00:13:06,645
Aaron, my RA, is, like, my manager now.
300
00:13:06,725 --> 00:13:08,725
He's, like, helping me organize everything
301
00:13:08,805 --> 00:13:10,805
and he comes
to all the Freak-Con events.
302
00:13:10,885 --> 00:13:11,845
He's awesome.
303
00:13:12,365 --> 00:13:14,005
Yeah, he is pretty awesome.
304
00:13:14,405 --> 00:13:16,685
Well, we're very close now.
305
00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:18,125
Tell them.
306
00:13:18,485 --> 00:13:19,365
Stop!
307
00:13:20,845 --> 00:13:21,885
Yeah.
308
00:13:22,605 --> 00:13:25,725
Basically, me and Aaron cuddle buddies
at this stage,
309
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,765
but we are seeing what happens, and--
310
00:13:29,325 --> 00:13:31,285
I can't believe you made me tell them.
311
00:13:31,405 --> 00:13:33,165
Why? Get it out in the open.
312
00:13:33,245 --> 00:13:34,925
'Cause it's just, like, weird.
313
00:13:35,005 --> 00:13:37,005
-No, it's not weird.
-Okay.
314
00:13:41,485 --> 00:13:43,405
-Lyn!
-I'm coming, I'm coming.
315
00:13:48,885 --> 00:13:51,165
Look, it's been a big life change,
that's for sure.
316
00:13:51,245 --> 00:13:53,405
We're all in with Mum
at her place in Cronulla.
317
00:13:53,485 --> 00:13:54,765
See you later, Grandma.
318
00:13:54,845 --> 00:13:55,845
Have a good day.
319
00:13:55,925 --> 00:13:57,525
We've been forced to sell our house
320
00:13:57,605 --> 00:13:59,725
to pay off the debt
from Quentin's development.
321
00:14:00,085 --> 00:14:01,605
Oi, Quentin, we're going.
322
00:14:02,565 --> 00:14:03,405
We're together.
323
00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:05,885
We're family, we'll rise again.
324
00:14:06,165 --> 00:14:07,005
It's just money.
325
00:14:07,085 --> 00:14:09,365
Dad's back as CEO
of Reg Cook Real Estate too,
326
00:14:09,485 --> 00:14:12,525
which has taken the pressure off me,
'cause I wasn't cut out for it.
327
00:14:12,605 --> 00:14:13,445
Yes, you were.
328
00:14:13,525 --> 00:14:15,765
-You were legendary.
-You were fantastic, sweetie.
329
00:14:15,845 --> 00:14:17,285
-You did your best, mate.
-Yeah.
330
00:14:17,365 --> 00:14:19,325
-The best you could.
-That's all you can do.
331
00:14:19,405 --> 00:14:22,005
-You've just got to try your best, eh?
-You did your best.
332
00:14:22,365 --> 00:14:24,485
It might have cost the family
a lot of money...
333
00:14:24,565 --> 00:14:25,565
-See you, Granny.
-Bye.
334
00:14:25,645 --> 00:14:26,845
...but the only way is up.
335
00:14:27,405 --> 00:14:28,365
Bye, Grandma.
336
00:14:29,205 --> 00:14:32,205
Dad's made Harrison
a full-blown real estate agent.
337
00:14:32,365 --> 00:14:34,125
I'm Harrison Gunn. Nice to see you.
338
00:14:34,285 --> 00:14:36,605
A bit weird, if you ask me.
He's only young.
339
00:14:36,685 --> 00:14:38,845
Yeah, so we're going
for low ones at the moment.
340
00:14:38,925 --> 00:14:40,845
It does have
such a fantastic curb appeal.
341
00:14:40,925 --> 00:14:43,165
I'm not sure
if he can keep up with the big boys.
342
00:14:43,245 --> 00:14:44,765
Okay, cool. How's my tie looking?
343
00:14:44,845 --> 00:14:45,965
Really good.
344
00:14:46,045 --> 00:14:48,565
The news is,
I've got a new assistant, Melinda.
345
00:14:48,645 --> 00:14:49,605
She's awesome.
346
00:14:49,685 --> 00:14:52,005
She's got a massive ass too,
like mine. So...
347
00:14:52,085 --> 00:14:53,765
And she's my new missus.
348
00:14:53,845 --> 00:14:56,405
Yeah, I only got the job
because he had the hots for me.
349
00:14:56,525 --> 00:14:57,605
Well, I'm not an idiot.
350
00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:00,325
-Keep going.
-We do everything together now.
351
00:15:00,405 --> 00:15:02,565
We go to the gym, we work out together...
352
00:15:02,645 --> 00:15:05,205
Wait, should I do, like a squint? Or...
353
00:15:05,485 --> 00:15:07,045
just keep my eyes like normal?
354
00:15:08,085 --> 00:15:10,285
-These are the options. Normal.
-Let's try again.
355
00:15:11,005 --> 00:15:11,925
No, squint.
356
00:15:12,885 --> 00:15:14,045
That's hot, babe.
357
00:15:14,125 --> 00:15:17,205
-You really feel that in your core.
-Yeah.
358
00:15:18,445 --> 00:15:19,805
Okay, one...
359
00:15:20,605 --> 00:15:21,445
Two...
360
00:15:21,525 --> 00:15:23,325
We're working on a few things together.
361
00:15:23,405 --> 00:15:26,125
We've got a paleo-vegan restaurant
bar/nightclub thing
362
00:15:26,205 --> 00:15:27,565
that we got in the works and--
363
00:15:27,645 --> 00:15:29,685
We've got
this Augmented Reality Fitness app
364
00:15:29,765 --> 00:15:31,285
which I can't say too much about.
365
00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:33,405
It was her idea. We're working on that.
366
00:15:33,485 --> 00:15:35,125
A lot of stuff on the horizon.
367
00:15:35,205 --> 00:15:37,205
I love his looks, his body...
368
00:15:37,405 --> 00:15:38,765
his butt,
369
00:15:38,845 --> 00:15:42,165
his intelligence, his singing voice.
370
00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:44,005
He's just full of hidden talents.
371
00:15:44,445 --> 00:15:45,725
This is the sculpture garden
372
00:15:45,805 --> 00:15:48,405
that me and my brothers
have set up at my grandma's place.
373
00:15:48,485 --> 00:15:50,325
These various art pieces that I've done.
374
00:15:50,405 --> 00:15:51,925
It's all QUNT art stuff.
375
00:15:52,005 --> 00:15:54,125
It just makes you question life,
and like--
376
00:15:54,325 --> 00:15:55,685
It's pretty confronting stuff.
377
00:15:55,765 --> 00:15:57,405
I love this one, babe.
378
00:15:57,485 --> 00:15:59,125
-Yeah. How good is it?
-It's so good.
379
00:15:59,205 --> 00:16:01,685
-You're seriously talented.
-Yeah. Thanks, babe.
380
00:16:01,765 --> 00:16:05,405
Yeah, this is sort of, like,
domestic life, questioning that stuff.
381
00:16:05,685 --> 00:16:07,445
I've done heaps in the backyard.
382
00:16:07,525 --> 00:16:10,005
I'm going to hold on to it,
because they're worth heaps
383
00:16:10,085 --> 00:16:12,285
if you just keep your sculptures
for a few years,
384
00:16:12,365 --> 00:16:13,525
the value goes up.
385
00:16:14,725 --> 00:16:16,965
We should put something
on that sharp edge there.
386
00:16:17,605 --> 00:16:19,165
We'll find you a buyer.
387
00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:22,085
Big place,
lot of work done into the house.
388
00:16:22,405 --> 00:16:25,245
You've told us, Mr. Kwong,
four kids, 30 years...
389
00:16:25,325 --> 00:16:27,805
As working partners,
as real estate agents.
390
00:16:27,885 --> 00:16:29,565
me and Melinda are nailing it.
391
00:16:30,005 --> 00:16:32,245
I don't care what you think, fatass.
392
00:16:32,445 --> 00:16:33,765
I like her, not you.
393
00:16:33,845 --> 00:16:36,365
And don't you sit on my toilet.
394
00:16:37,005 --> 00:16:39,085
Alright. Well, that's cool.
395
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,965
We'll be in touch after the inspection.
396
00:16:41,045 --> 00:16:43,525
-See you, Mr. Kwong. Bye, Mrs. Kwong.
-Bye.
397
00:16:43,605 --> 00:16:44,725
Babe, just with this...
398
00:16:44,805 --> 00:16:47,285
-Can make sure that's fluffed out?
-Yeah, sorry.
399
00:16:47,365 --> 00:16:49,085
First impression when people walk in--
400
00:16:49,165 --> 00:16:50,965
-Yeah, yeah.
-I thought I told you that.
401
00:16:51,045 --> 00:16:53,885
Let's get these brochures out.
You got the... floor plans?
402
00:17:08,365 --> 00:17:09,765
Hello, my darlings.
403
00:17:10,205 --> 00:17:12,245
Wait for me at the bottom,
and I'll come down.
404
00:17:12,405 --> 00:17:13,445
Mercy!
405
00:17:13,525 --> 00:17:15,365
Mercy, come and help me on the stairs.
406
00:17:16,405 --> 00:17:17,885
You could say I'm a new woman.
407
00:17:17,965 --> 00:17:20,565
Yes, there's been a lot of changes.
408
00:17:21,325 --> 00:17:24,525
I'm running my entire operation
out of the treehouse now.
409
00:17:24,725 --> 00:17:28,405
I needed a change and I feel
more at home in Zimbabwe.
410
00:17:28,485 --> 00:17:30,365
More relaxed, more me.
411
00:17:30,805 --> 00:17:32,765
Hello, darlings, how are you?
412
00:17:33,125 --> 00:17:34,485
Hello, my puppies.
413
00:17:34,685 --> 00:17:35,925
How are you, darling?
414
00:17:36,325 --> 00:17:37,165
Oh, sweetheart.
415
00:17:38,005 --> 00:17:39,965
Alright, let's go over and set up.
416
00:17:40,045 --> 00:17:42,205
You're my 9:00, and you're my 9:30.
417
00:17:42,285 --> 00:17:44,125
And guess what? I'm pregnant.
418
00:17:44,525 --> 00:17:45,645
That's right.
419
00:17:45,725 --> 00:17:48,285
The Dutch semen fertilized me
and I'm due in March.
420
00:17:48,925 --> 00:17:52,605
What better place to bring up a child
than a treehouse in Zimbabwe?
421
00:17:53,685 --> 00:17:54,725
Alright.
422
00:17:54,805 --> 00:17:56,165
Jana can hear you.
423
00:17:58,725 --> 00:18:01,565
Alright, he's telling me
that he did not like the journey here.
424
00:18:02,085 --> 00:18:05,085
He's telling me that he did not want
to sit in the back of the car.
425
00:18:05,165 --> 00:18:06,725
He would like to sit in the front.
426
00:18:07,005 --> 00:18:08,925
What is that sound you're making, darling?
427
00:18:10,525 --> 00:18:11,485
Okay.
428
00:18:12,645 --> 00:18:14,605
Alright, I don't know
how to tell you this,
429
00:18:14,685 --> 00:18:16,285
but the devil is inside your dog.
430
00:18:17,965 --> 00:18:20,605
My pet psychic work is thriving here.
431
00:18:20,685 --> 00:18:22,965
Pets have problems no matter
where they live,
432
00:18:23,045 --> 00:18:24,765
so I've been very, very busy.
433
00:18:25,245 --> 00:18:27,165
You really want me to tell him that? Okay.
434
00:18:27,245 --> 00:18:28,965
Simba is telling me that he hates you.
435
00:18:29,845 --> 00:18:32,765
Hate is a very strong word, sweetheart.
Do you really hate him?
436
00:18:33,245 --> 00:18:34,085
Yes, he hates you.
437
00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:38,805
Since Kylie left,
I've hired a new assistant, Mercy.
438
00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:41,325
So far, she's been very good at her job.
439
00:18:41,405 --> 00:18:43,765
Squeeze me tighter.
Very tight, very tight.
440
00:18:43,845 --> 00:18:47,245
I still keep up with my celebrity clients
back in Cape Town.
441
00:18:47,525 --> 00:18:48,925
They're my bread and butter.
442
00:18:49,005 --> 00:18:50,245
Alright, Jana can hear you.
443
00:18:50,805 --> 00:18:51,965
I'm getting a T word.
444
00:18:52,085 --> 00:18:53,245
T-T-Tongue.
445
00:18:53,525 --> 00:18:56,525
Is it "tongue", "tail"?
It's "tail"? Yes, tail.
446
00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:59,205
Right, he's asking me
what his tail is for.
447
00:18:59,285 --> 00:19:01,365
Your tail is for wagging, sweetheart.
448
00:19:02,245 --> 00:19:04,605
You knew that Jana was coming, didn't you?
449
00:19:06,325 --> 00:19:09,045
It goes beyond cats and dogs in this area.
450
00:19:09,125 --> 00:19:11,285
I'm dealing with many exotic animals.
451
00:19:11,685 --> 00:19:14,605
Okay, he's telling me that
he would like Jana to sing him a song.
452
00:19:14,685 --> 00:19:16,165
You're a crocky crocodile
453
00:19:16,245 --> 00:19:17,765
And you snap, snap, snap
454
00:19:17,845 --> 00:19:19,965
And you want to eat the wildebeest
455
00:19:20,045 --> 00:19:21,325
Then nap, nap, nap
456
00:19:22,005 --> 00:19:24,765
Hello, my darling. You want to do
some painting for Jana?
457
00:19:24,845 --> 00:19:26,405
Would you like to paint for Jana?
458
00:19:26,845 --> 00:19:28,565
I have an exotic animal art exhibition
459
00:19:28,645 --> 00:19:30,965
opening in Johannesburg in January.
460
00:19:31,165 --> 00:19:33,485
So, I've been very, very busy
putting that together.
461
00:19:33,565 --> 00:19:35,725
Traumatized camel art is very valuable.
462
00:19:35,805 --> 00:19:39,165
Yes, I'll be able to get
about 200,000 rand for this one.
463
00:19:40,685 --> 00:19:41,885
Victor, the dog.
464
00:19:42,725 --> 00:19:44,805
Where do I start with Victor, the dog?
465
00:19:45,125 --> 00:19:46,165
Well...
466
00:19:47,205 --> 00:19:50,165
He began to question
his gender identity again,
467
00:19:50,245 --> 00:19:51,885
you know, he wanted to be a man.
468
00:19:51,965 --> 00:19:54,445
Well, he decided that he wanted to be
a woman again.
469
00:19:54,805 --> 00:19:58,725
I'd already paid for the operation
and he had a newly constructed penis--
470
00:20:00,125 --> 00:20:02,725
We had an argument one night
and I put him outside,
471
00:20:02,805 --> 00:20:05,485
and normally he sleeps
up in my room, and...
472
00:20:05,885 --> 00:20:09,485
unfortunately, the hyenas came that night
and they killed him.
473
00:20:10,605 --> 00:20:13,805
So, Victor's dead,
and I've been very, very, very sad.
474
00:20:14,805 --> 00:20:15,645
Mercy!
475
00:20:16,085 --> 00:20:17,325
Mercy, bring me Victor!
476
00:20:17,845 --> 00:20:21,085
I've had Victor's pelt
made into a rug, so...
477
00:20:21,165 --> 00:20:22,845
Pop it up. I want to show them a bit.
478
00:20:23,525 --> 00:20:25,605
So, that she'll always be near me.
479
00:20:26,445 --> 00:20:27,365
There we go.
480
00:20:27,765 --> 00:20:28,605
So soft.
481
00:20:30,405 --> 00:20:31,725
Pop it up on my lap.
482
00:20:32,645 --> 00:20:33,765
There we go, Victor.
483
00:20:34,325 --> 00:20:35,565
Hello, Victor.
484
00:20:35,885 --> 00:20:37,285
Oh, you're so soft.
485
00:20:37,365 --> 00:20:39,365
Jump under too, Mercy. Hop under.
486
00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:41,725
So very nice and warm, isn't it?
487
00:20:42,125 --> 00:20:44,445
Here you go.
You can use the tail to lift it up.
488
00:20:48,005 --> 00:20:49,165
Hello, my darling.
489
00:20:49,685 --> 00:20:50,925
Hello, sweetheart.
490
00:20:52,405 --> 00:20:53,725
Oh, Victor...
491
00:20:56,925 --> 00:21:00,445
It was everything they say it's gonna be,
the best day of your life.
492
00:21:00,525 --> 00:21:02,165
Yes, it certainly was that.
493
00:21:03,485 --> 00:21:05,685
I'd like to pronounce you
husband and wife.
494
00:21:10,085 --> 00:21:12,205
It was a civil service
because, unfortunately,
495
00:21:12,285 --> 00:21:15,645
this country won't recognize
human-object relationships as legal.
496
00:21:16,205 --> 00:21:18,845
But Karen and I made a commitment
to each other that day
497
00:21:19,125 --> 00:21:21,845
to be together forever.
And that's all that matters.
498
00:21:21,925 --> 00:21:24,165
-To Keith and Karen.
-To Keith and Karen!
499
00:21:24,805 --> 00:21:27,045
We had a fantastic week in Nusa.
500
00:21:27,125 --> 00:21:28,805
It was a honeymoon to remember.
501
00:21:28,885 --> 00:21:30,885
It's Karen, it's Keith. How are you?
502
00:21:30,965 --> 00:21:32,965
Sunday morning sleep in. Loving life.
503
00:21:33,845 --> 00:21:35,805
We have our ups and downs,
like any couple.
504
00:21:35,885 --> 00:21:38,325
That's marriage. It's not all roses.
505
00:21:38,525 --> 00:21:40,085
Karen turning to face the camera.
506
00:21:40,165 --> 00:21:42,325
Don't know why I have to
do everything for you?
507
00:21:44,925 --> 00:21:46,125
Sorry, sweetie, I'm just..
508
00:21:46,245 --> 00:21:47,165
I'm just tired.
509
00:21:48,525 --> 00:21:50,845
My Dick has gone
from strength to strength.
510
00:21:51,245 --> 00:21:53,165
-How are we going, ladies. All good?
-Good.
511
00:21:53,245 --> 00:21:55,485
Yes. Put those in the change room,
if you like.
512
00:21:55,565 --> 00:21:57,685
Word of mouth is bringing in
the yummy mummies
513
00:21:57,765 --> 00:21:59,125
and the young people in droves
514
00:21:59,205 --> 00:22:02,125
and everyone's lapping up my label
Keith by Keith Dick.
515
00:22:02,405 --> 00:22:05,445
Won't be long. Sorry.
We've got a bit of a queue happening here.
516
00:22:05,605 --> 00:22:06,645
Won't be too long.
517
00:22:07,245 --> 00:22:09,925
We've expanded our ottomans,
pouffes and Lazy Boys range
518
00:22:10,005 --> 00:22:12,285
I've added coffee tables, rugs, blinds--
519
00:22:12,365 --> 00:22:13,245
It's going off!
520
00:22:13,325 --> 00:22:16,445
And Allan's looking after
our suit hire department.
521
00:22:16,925 --> 00:22:18,085
Check it out.
522
00:22:18,285 --> 00:22:20,045
Well, this is in this season.
523
00:22:20,125 --> 00:22:22,885
Charcoal is in this season
and the pinstripe.
524
00:22:22,965 --> 00:22:24,605
It's a subtle pinstripe.
525
00:22:24,685 --> 00:22:26,565
Have you shown him the houndstooth?
526
00:22:27,445 --> 00:22:29,045
My life has changed, yes.
527
00:22:29,165 --> 00:22:31,325
It's certainly been a roller coaster.
528
00:22:31,965 --> 00:22:32,845
Thank you.
529
00:22:33,125 --> 00:22:34,365
But Keith is very happy.
530
00:22:35,685 --> 00:22:37,485
He's finally found peace with Karen.
531
00:22:38,405 --> 00:22:41,165
And, strangely, it's a relief for me.
532
00:22:41,245 --> 00:22:42,965
-Going well?
-Yes.
533
00:22:43,045 --> 00:22:45,285
And we have saved my father's store.
534
00:22:45,725 --> 00:22:47,565
I know he would be very proud of me.
535
00:22:48,005 --> 00:22:50,565
This season... camo is in for girls.
536
00:22:51,005 --> 00:22:52,525
-Yeah.
-So, it's camo, camo, camo.
537
00:22:52,605 --> 00:22:55,125
What you can do,
is we're going into the cooler months.
538
00:22:55,645 --> 00:22:57,485
You really want to cover that chin zone.
539
00:22:57,925 --> 00:23:00,365
I think with you,
it's gonna be your favorite color.
540
00:23:00,445 --> 00:23:01,725
-Because you are--
-Yeah.
541
00:23:01,805 --> 00:23:03,045
You are-- You do tend to...
542
00:23:03,525 --> 00:23:05,445
sway towards the neutrals, I've noticed.
543
00:23:05,525 --> 00:23:07,165
It's a sort of piratey look,
544
00:23:07,685 --> 00:23:09,565
but it does work quite well.
545
00:23:09,645 --> 00:23:12,205
That's actually quite good
with your skin tone, too.
546
00:23:12,285 --> 00:23:14,445
With a hoop earring, perhaps?
547
00:23:15,205 --> 00:23:17,525
I think in order to succeed in retail,
548
00:23:17,725 --> 00:23:20,525
you need to A: trust your vision,
549
00:23:20,605 --> 00:23:22,605
and B: you've got to think big.
550
00:23:25,325 --> 00:23:26,445
Try and land it.
551
00:23:27,805 --> 00:23:28,685
He landed it.
552
00:23:29,325 --> 00:23:31,525
I've had this rail installed
553
00:23:31,605 --> 00:23:33,565
to give the store a cool, youthy image.
554
00:23:34,205 --> 00:23:35,565
Grind it, fellas.
555
00:23:36,925 --> 00:23:38,565
Bella, walking towards me, please.
556
00:23:39,125 --> 00:23:41,245
The Keith by Keith Dick
new season collection
557
00:23:41,325 --> 00:23:42,645
is in the design phase.
558
00:23:42,725 --> 00:23:44,605
We'll be putting together a lookbook.
559
00:23:44,685 --> 00:23:47,325
This is not going to work, we need to--
560
00:23:47,405 --> 00:23:48,805
That fabric's too busy.
561
00:23:48,885 --> 00:23:50,885
I'll get you to plop that off. Thanks.
562
00:23:52,525 --> 00:23:53,805
I do like the sheer--
563
00:23:53,885 --> 00:23:57,125
I think we could go
for more of a shower curtain style.
564
00:23:57,205 --> 00:23:58,685
These are quite good.
565
00:23:58,765 --> 00:24:00,005
With a green sock.
566
00:24:00,805 --> 00:24:03,725
And if you could just reveal
the face at the front there.
567
00:24:03,805 --> 00:24:06,205
These are the garments
for the young person of today,
568
00:24:06,285 --> 00:24:08,165
who says, "I am me,
569
00:24:08,325 --> 00:24:09,685
I am who I want to be.
570
00:24:09,965 --> 00:24:10,965
Fuck the world!"
571
00:24:11,165 --> 00:24:12,405
Excuse my French.
572
00:24:12,485 --> 00:24:14,485
-Ma'am, how are you? Great.
-Good, thank you.
573
00:24:14,565 --> 00:24:17,925
And we've installed a new service counter
to cope with the extra customers.
574
00:24:18,005 --> 00:24:19,605
And Karen's back on the floor.
575
00:24:19,845 --> 00:24:20,685
Here you go.
576
00:24:20,765 --> 00:24:22,885
Isn't it lovely to work
with your wife all day
577
00:24:23,005 --> 00:24:24,205
and then go home with her?
578
00:24:29,245 --> 00:24:30,645
Get a load of new Snoopy,
579
00:24:30,725 --> 00:24:33,405
just right next
to the orange My Little Pony there.
580
00:24:33,485 --> 00:24:35,445
-It's new.
-Yeah, he's cute.
581
00:24:35,525 --> 00:24:37,605
-Where did you get him?
-Just off eBay.
582
00:24:38,245 --> 00:24:40,085
eBay? Oh, la, la.
583
00:24:40,205 --> 00:24:43,005
Yeah, me and Les
are predominantly digital these days.
584
00:24:43,085 --> 00:24:44,725
You have changed, Joyce.
585
00:24:44,805 --> 00:24:46,285
Get lost, Rhonda.
586
00:24:47,805 --> 00:24:48,685
Oh, my God.
587
00:24:49,325 --> 00:24:51,405
Did that monkey's tail just move?
588
00:24:51,485 --> 00:24:53,165
-Did you see it move?
-Did you see it?
589
00:24:54,125 --> 00:24:55,525
I would believe that,
590
00:24:55,605 --> 00:24:58,085
because every time
I go looking for the monkey,
591
00:24:58,165 --> 00:24:59,325
I can't find it.
592
00:24:59,405 --> 00:25:01,245
-Did you definitely see it move?
-Yeah.
593
00:25:02,445 --> 00:25:03,525
Oh, my God!
594
00:25:04,525 --> 00:25:07,525
I've always said to Joyce,
"Everything works out."
595
00:25:07,605 --> 00:25:09,005
And her life now with Les--
596
00:25:09,445 --> 00:25:10,765
You're a dream partnership.
597
00:25:11,245 --> 00:25:13,405
The birds have stopped
listening to me as well.
598
00:25:13,885 --> 00:25:15,805
They're not interested in me anymore.
599
00:25:15,885 --> 00:25:17,885
Yeah, well. That's a good thing.
600
00:25:20,765 --> 00:25:22,445
-Get in position.
-Alright.
601
00:25:27,325 --> 00:25:30,005
Ladies and gentlemen,
I'd like to present to you...
602
00:25:30,085 --> 00:25:31,605
the magnificent, the stunning...
603
00:25:31,685 --> 00:25:34,685
the fabulous Joyce Jeffries!
604
00:25:34,765 --> 00:25:37,645
Welcome to the Joyce and Les Museum.
605
00:25:37,725 --> 00:25:39,325
Roll up, roll up,
606
00:25:39,405 --> 00:25:41,005
come on in and see my stuff.
607
00:25:41,085 --> 00:25:41,965
Come on in.
608
00:25:42,165 --> 00:25:44,205
Come on, follow Joyce in.
609
00:25:44,325 --> 00:25:45,925
Give me a beat please, Rhonda.
610
00:25:47,405 --> 00:25:49,165
This is my Kate Bush collection
611
00:25:49,245 --> 00:25:51,045
Look at all of the things
612
00:25:51,125 --> 00:25:53,285
Here's my fan
The China man fan
613
00:25:53,365 --> 00:25:54,405
I love my fan
614
00:25:54,485 --> 00:25:56,525
My life is very fun now.
615
00:25:56,605 --> 00:25:58,805
I get to show people all my stuff.
616
00:25:59,365 --> 00:26:01,725
It's taken me a long time
to collect it, so...
617
00:26:01,805 --> 00:26:02,805
good.
618
00:26:02,885 --> 00:26:04,245
Here are my video tapes
619
00:26:04,325 --> 00:26:07,085
And there are my remote controls
620
00:26:07,165 --> 00:26:09,685
Here are my Snoopys
And here are my corncobs
621
00:26:09,765 --> 00:26:12,205
Smurfs, smurfs
Look at my Smurfs
622
00:26:13,005 --> 00:26:14,885
I started off in show business
623
00:26:14,965 --> 00:26:18,165
and I've ended up in the business
of showing people my things
624
00:26:18,245 --> 00:26:19,845
and making people happy
625
00:26:19,925 --> 00:26:21,525
and that's all you need to do.
626
00:26:21,925 --> 00:26:25,165
So, shut up about that
and stop filming me.
627
00:26:39,765 --> 00:26:40,965
Ta-da!
628
00:26:42,205 --> 00:26:44,005
You're a dumb cunt, aren't you?
629
00:26:44,085 --> 00:26:46,285
Don't move if you're a dumb cunt.
630
00:26:47,125 --> 00:26:48,165
He is one.
631
00:26:48,245 --> 00:26:49,445
My auntie...
632
00:26:50,805 --> 00:26:53,085
she thinks that I need...
633
00:26:53,245 --> 00:26:56,405
more responsibility in my life.
634
00:26:56,605 --> 00:26:59,285
So, she told my Mum
to buy me a guinea pig.
635
00:26:59,925 --> 00:27:02,725
So, I've got a guinea pig now.
It's called Gayhurst.
636
00:27:02,805 --> 00:27:05,405
He gets so horny
because he lives on his own.
637
00:27:06,605 --> 00:27:09,165
You want to fuck a chick guinea pig,
don't you?
638
00:27:09,685 --> 00:27:12,765
Gayhurst, how would you feel
if my dog ate you?
639
00:27:13,605 --> 00:27:14,805
You'd be pissed off.
640
00:27:15,525 --> 00:27:18,525
I'm glad I'm not the Earl of Gayhurst
641
00:27:18,605 --> 00:27:21,405
because I'm just the dumb cunt nephew.
642
00:27:22,205 --> 00:27:23,805
I didn't want to do it anyway.
643
00:27:24,285 --> 00:27:25,525
Alright, Clementine.
644
00:27:25,885 --> 00:27:26,885
Stand back there.
645
00:27:26,965 --> 00:27:30,525
Basically, I just want to do
low-key fun shit
646
00:27:31,165 --> 00:27:32,645
for the rest of my life.
647
00:27:33,125 --> 00:27:34,285
Are you recording?
648
00:27:35,765 --> 00:27:36,805
Are you ready, Dylan?
649
00:27:36,885 --> 00:27:37,805
Yep.
650
00:27:42,125 --> 00:27:43,005
Dope as fuck.
651
00:27:45,365 --> 00:27:46,365
Dope as fuck.
652
00:27:48,285 --> 00:27:49,165
Dope as fuck.
653
00:27:55,405 --> 00:27:57,165
-Hey, guys.
-Hi.
654
00:27:58,325 --> 00:27:59,725
You want some tea, or--
655
00:28:00,085 --> 00:28:01,725
-No, thanks.
-Are you sure?
656
00:28:02,485 --> 00:28:05,005
-Actually, yeah. With the sugar.
-Okay.
657
00:28:05,085 --> 00:28:06,525
With sugar? I know.
658
00:28:06,605 --> 00:28:08,205
-Me too.
-You too? Alright.
659
00:28:08,925 --> 00:28:10,085
Oh, get the mugs.
660
00:28:10,165 --> 00:28:11,005
Oh, yeah.
661
00:28:11,125 --> 00:28:13,045
So, a lot of stuff has happened with Jack.
662
00:28:13,645 --> 00:28:16,005
I was dating him for about three weeks.
663
00:28:16,085 --> 00:28:17,205
She was really into him.
664
00:28:17,325 --> 00:28:20,965
I was, until I found out that he had
hooked up with my friend Taylor.
665
00:28:21,045 --> 00:28:22,605
But it was totally his fault.
666
00:28:22,685 --> 00:28:23,725
He got her drunk.
667
00:28:24,165 --> 00:28:26,845
Yeah. And then he told her
that all Australians smell
668
00:28:26,925 --> 00:28:28,165
and that he was off me.
669
00:28:28,245 --> 00:28:30,365
But we got revenge on him.
670
00:28:31,485 --> 00:28:33,485
So, before Jack was at this college
671
00:28:33,565 --> 00:28:36,085
he went to a different one,
and he lived in a frat house
672
00:28:36,165 --> 00:28:38,445
and had to do
a hazing ceremony to be accepted.
673
00:28:38,525 --> 00:28:40,685
So, have you guys heard
of "the elephant walk"?
674
00:28:41,725 --> 00:28:44,085
-It's so disgusting.
-It's so gross.
675
00:28:44,285 --> 00:28:47,205
The guys stand in a line
holding each other's dicks
676
00:28:47,285 --> 00:28:48,565
and walk around in a circle.
677
00:28:48,645 --> 00:28:51,005
Yeah, it's like the elephant's trunks,
678
00:28:51,085 --> 00:28:53,405
so the guys in the circle
are holding the "trunks".
679
00:28:53,885 --> 00:28:55,205
-Yeah.
-It's so gross.
680
00:28:55,285 --> 00:28:57,205
So, my friend Ellie,
her brother was there,
681
00:28:57,285 --> 00:28:59,845
and he got a photo of Jack doing it
and he sent it to me.
682
00:29:00,045 --> 00:29:03,245
And Lucy has threatened to post it online.
683
00:29:04,165 --> 00:29:05,085
Show them the photo.
684
00:29:09,005 --> 00:29:10,565
It's so gross.
685
00:29:10,645 --> 00:29:12,005
It's so gross.
686
00:29:12,085 --> 00:29:13,365
But, with just one click,
687
00:29:13,445 --> 00:29:16,525
I can anonymously post it
onto our dorm's Facebook page,
688
00:29:16,605 --> 00:29:17,965
and ruin his time at college.
689
00:29:18,045 --> 00:29:20,885
Yeah, we wouldn't do it,
but he thinks that we might,
690
00:29:20,965 --> 00:29:22,565
so he's being really nice to us.
691
00:29:22,725 --> 00:29:23,765
It's been so good.
692
00:29:24,725 --> 00:29:26,205
Alright, this one's with sugar.
693
00:29:26,805 --> 00:29:28,685
-This is the regular one.
-Cool.
694
00:29:28,765 --> 00:29:30,085
You guys want some Oreos too?
695
00:29:30,565 --> 00:29:31,485
I'll have two.
696
00:29:31,565 --> 00:29:33,165
-Right on.
-I'll have three, please.
697
00:29:33,245 --> 00:29:34,085
Three?
698
00:29:34,165 --> 00:29:36,045
-For you.
-No. Get it on the unicorn dish.
699
00:29:36,125 --> 00:29:37,965
-Thanks, Jackie.
-Yeah, no worries.
700
00:29:38,045 --> 00:29:39,085
Thanks, Jack.
701
00:29:40,365 --> 00:29:41,485
Cheers!
702
00:29:41,565 --> 00:29:43,245
Cheers for the family!
703
00:29:43,325 --> 00:29:44,245
The boys, the boys
704
00:29:44,325 --> 00:29:46,485
The boys, the boys, the boys
705
00:29:46,565 --> 00:29:49,085
The boys, the boys
The boys, the boys, the boys
706
00:29:49,725 --> 00:29:52,045
Quentin, shut up.
It's your Mum's birthday.
707
00:29:52,125 --> 00:29:53,605
Captain Quntboss is here.
708
00:29:53,685 --> 00:29:55,965
I can't fucking help it
when the Captain comes out.
709
00:29:56,045 --> 00:29:57,405
It's out of my control, babe.
710
00:29:57,485 --> 00:30:01,045
-Happy Birthday, Mum. We love you.
-Thank you, darling. Thank you so much.
711
00:30:03,245 --> 00:30:04,525
Go easy, Mum.
712
00:30:04,605 --> 00:30:06,725
You know what I'd really like
for my birthday?
713
00:30:06,845 --> 00:30:08,045
-What?
-My favorite song...
714
00:30:08,125 --> 00:30:09,925
sung by my favorite man.
715
00:30:10,005 --> 00:30:12,885
-I'm not singing--
-Come on, Captain!
716
00:30:13,205 --> 00:30:16,925
Am I not pretty enough
717
00:30:17,005 --> 00:30:19,485
I think, pretty much,
if you've got family around you,
718
00:30:19,565 --> 00:30:21,125
you can like get through anything.
719
00:30:21,205 --> 00:30:22,365
That's what I've learned.
720
00:30:22,525 --> 00:30:26,125
Don't I make you laugh
721
00:30:26,205 --> 00:30:28,485
I don't want my love to go to waste
722
00:30:28,565 --> 00:30:31,725
I want you and your beautiful...
723
00:30:31,805 --> 00:30:32,645
Mum.
724
00:30:34,885 --> 00:30:35,845
Thank you!
725
00:30:35,925 --> 00:30:38,805
-Thank you! You were so good.
-I love you, Mum.
726
00:30:38,885 --> 00:30:40,445
You want another song, or--
727
00:30:40,525 --> 00:30:42,485
I'll leave you to have
a little look around.
728
00:30:42,565 --> 00:30:44,165
I've also learned, like, it's good
729
00:30:44,245 --> 00:30:46,605
to just accept your physical
and mental flaws.
730
00:30:47,045 --> 00:30:48,925
Is it ticking a lot of boxes for you?
731
00:30:49,165 --> 00:30:50,565
-Yes, it is.
-Yeah, cool, man.
732
00:30:51,125 --> 00:30:52,725
Have you seen the space upstairs?
733
00:30:52,845 --> 00:30:54,005
It's a fantastic--
734
00:30:54,925 --> 00:30:57,125
Mr. Colton is ready to see a contract.
735
00:30:57,285 --> 00:30:58,805
Fantastic. Excuse me.
736
00:30:58,885 --> 00:31:00,085
I'll leave them.
737
00:31:00,925 --> 00:31:02,405
How are you going, Mr. Colton?
738
00:31:03,325 --> 00:31:04,485
Oh, sorry about that.
739
00:31:06,205 --> 00:31:07,685
Yeah, I was telling babe...
740
00:31:08,125 --> 00:31:11,605
in life, I reckon,
you gotta pursue your creative dreams.
741
00:31:11,725 --> 00:31:14,725
And, whatever you imagine,
it might not come true,
742
00:31:14,805 --> 00:31:17,445
but it's just like
shit just kind of works out.
743
00:31:17,525 --> 00:31:19,165
-Don't you reckon, babe?
-Yeah, babe.
744
00:31:21,885 --> 00:31:22,805
I'll take my bird.
745
00:31:24,845 --> 00:31:27,005
Hi, how are you going? Welcome to 25.
746
00:31:27,085 --> 00:31:27,965
Have a look around.
747
00:31:28,365 --> 00:31:29,205
Great to meet you.
748
00:31:32,565 --> 00:31:33,645
Natasha!
749
00:31:34,405 --> 00:31:35,565
Natasha!
750
00:31:35,805 --> 00:31:36,925
Join in, please, Mercy.
751
00:31:37,005 --> 00:31:38,285
-Natasha!
-Natasha!
752
00:31:38,925 --> 00:31:40,205
-Natasha!
-Natasha!
753
00:31:40,285 --> 00:31:41,605
-Natasha!
-Natasha!
754
00:31:41,845 --> 00:31:44,005
I'm still searching for my aardvark.
755
00:31:44,085 --> 00:31:46,085
I call out for her every single night
756
00:31:46,165 --> 00:31:49,205
I've been communicating
with her telepathically.
757
00:31:49,285 --> 00:31:50,645
I know she's out there, but...
758
00:31:50,925 --> 00:31:52,565
she just won't reveal herself.
759
00:31:52,765 --> 00:31:54,285
Natasha!
760
00:31:54,685 --> 00:31:55,725
It's Jana.
761
00:31:56,125 --> 00:31:57,005
Where are you?
762
00:31:58,685 --> 00:32:01,525
I leave an offering for her every night
of bread crumbs,
763
00:32:01,605 --> 00:32:03,885
hoping that one day she'll come home.
764
00:32:04,885 --> 00:32:06,525
I'm still holding out hope.
765
00:32:06,605 --> 00:32:10,885
This is the first print run
of my new book, Where is My Aardvark?
766
00:32:11,005 --> 00:32:12,725
It's coming out for Mother's Day.
767
00:32:14,605 --> 00:32:16,445
Three times and then I'll be okay.
768
00:32:16,525 --> 00:32:19,325
My OCD comes back from time to time.
769
00:32:20,125 --> 00:32:22,325
I don't know why. It's just who I am.
770
00:32:23,445 --> 00:32:25,125
I received this as well.
771
00:32:27,965 --> 00:32:29,165
Kylie and Craig's wedding.
772
00:32:29,725 --> 00:32:31,165
I didn't go, obviously.
773
00:32:32,925 --> 00:32:36,485
I don't know why.
I always fall for the straight ones.
774
00:32:38,965 --> 00:32:40,965
But, I've very much moved on.
775
00:32:42,325 --> 00:32:44,845
Moved on and forgotten all about her.
776
00:32:46,245 --> 00:32:48,125
Okay. Let's put it on.
777
00:32:48,805 --> 00:32:49,725
Thank you, Mercy.
778
00:32:50,325 --> 00:32:51,205
Okay.
779
00:32:51,365 --> 00:32:53,525
Tighten me up there please, Mercy.
780
00:32:53,605 --> 00:32:54,805
Thank you, sweetheart.
781
00:32:55,325 --> 00:32:57,765
Alright, where's my chair?
782
00:33:00,205 --> 00:33:02,245
And my rug, please, on my lap.
783
00:33:04,485 --> 00:33:05,805
Hello, my darling.
784
00:33:06,725 --> 00:33:08,725
Hello, Victor, my man-dog.
785
00:33:08,805 --> 00:33:10,285
How's my man-dog?
786
00:33:10,885 --> 00:33:12,405
Your fur is so soft.
787
00:33:13,845 --> 00:33:16,125
Yes, Mummy loves you.
788
00:33:16,205 --> 00:33:17,325
My man-dog.
789
00:33:17,725 --> 00:33:19,285
My beautiful man-dog.
790
00:33:23,005 --> 00:33:25,765
Today is an extremely exciting day for me.
791
00:33:26,405 --> 00:33:28,045
Ellie. How are you, love?
792
00:33:28,645 --> 00:33:31,125
I'm going back to visit
my old department store
793
00:33:31,205 --> 00:33:33,085
and I haven't seen everyone in yonks.
794
00:33:33,165 --> 00:33:35,525
At first, my stress levels
were through the roof,
795
00:33:35,605 --> 00:33:38,445
but I've got to say,
nothing beats running your own business.
796
00:33:38,525 --> 00:33:39,885
This is my new my wife, Karen.
797
00:33:40,405 --> 00:33:42,605
-We got married on the beach and...
-Wow.
798
00:33:42,685 --> 00:33:45,485
...had the honeymoon out in Nusa,
which was an absolute dream.
799
00:33:48,485 --> 00:33:50,485
I've struck a deal
with the department store
800
00:33:50,565 --> 00:33:53,525
to stock a small range
of the Keith by Keith Dick collection.
801
00:33:53,605 --> 00:33:54,605
How good does it look?
802
00:33:54,765 --> 00:33:56,085
It's an incredible honor.
803
00:33:56,365 --> 00:33:58,325
I feel like I've come full-circle
in a way.
804
00:34:04,845 --> 00:34:05,725
Daddy!
805
00:34:06,365 --> 00:34:07,445
Oh, my God!
806
00:34:07,685 --> 00:34:09,525
Yeah, I would say I've grown a lot
807
00:34:09,605 --> 00:34:11,685
over the last two semesters of college.
808
00:34:11,765 --> 00:34:14,285
I'm so different now to when I started.
809
00:34:14,365 --> 00:34:17,125
-This is Aaron, the RA I told you about!
-Hello. How are you?
810
00:34:18,085 --> 00:34:19,165
That's my boy!
811
00:34:19,245 --> 00:34:21,845
You're going to love what you see.
812
00:34:23,205 --> 00:34:24,525
This is incredible.
813
00:34:24,605 --> 00:34:25,925
I know.
814
00:34:26,005 --> 00:34:28,005
-Watch your head.
-That's fine!
815
00:34:28,085 --> 00:34:30,565
Yeah, and on the ceiling, Dad.
Did you see the ceiling?
816
00:34:30,645 --> 00:34:32,925
I guess I've learned
not to sweat the small stuff.
817
00:34:33,045 --> 00:34:34,605
And it's okay to be different.
818
00:34:34,685 --> 00:34:37,285
You just gotta be you,
no matter how freak you are.
819
00:34:38,565 --> 00:34:39,885
So, I've done a few songs.
820
00:34:39,965 --> 00:34:42,005
This is my latest one,
so I'll show you guys.
821
00:34:43,805 --> 00:34:45,605
I think all day
822
00:34:46,485 --> 00:34:49,845
But in my way
I don't know what
823
00:34:49,925 --> 00:34:52,045
Know what's beautiful
824
00:34:54,325 --> 00:34:56,645
I stand so tall
825
00:34:57,165 --> 00:35:00,245
But if I fall
Who will catch me
826
00:35:00,565 --> 00:35:02,925
Am I beautiful?
827
00:35:05,765 --> 00:35:08,725
"You're pretty," they say
828
00:35:11,165 --> 00:35:13,245
You'll go all the way
829
00:35:13,725 --> 00:35:16,245
Here's what I have to say
830
00:35:17,165 --> 00:35:21,245
Be your own kind of beautiful
831
00:35:27,605 --> 00:35:30,045
My recent journey has taught me a lot.
832
00:35:30,125 --> 00:35:31,445
Yes, you've got to work hard,
833
00:35:31,925 --> 00:35:34,005
but make sure you had fun along the way.
834
00:35:34,725 --> 00:35:36,845
And it doesn't matter
what people think of you.
835
00:35:36,925 --> 00:35:37,765
Who gives a rat's?
836
00:35:39,485 --> 00:35:40,765
Just be yourself.
837
00:35:41,805 --> 00:35:42,685
Here we go!
838
00:35:47,565 --> 00:35:50,205
Yeah. You're going to get married.
839
00:35:50,325 --> 00:35:53,085
You're getting married!
840
00:35:55,685 --> 00:35:57,405
Follow your dreams.
841
00:35:57,485 --> 00:36:00,045
I don't know what I'm doing
842
00:36:00,125 --> 00:36:03,845
Be your own kind of beautiful
843
00:36:03,925 --> 00:36:05,285
Party, party, party
844
00:36:09,165 --> 00:36:11,245
His teeth and face
845
00:36:11,565 --> 00:36:12,925
His mirror tells him
846
00:36:13,005 --> 00:36:14,205
Follow your heart.
847
00:36:14,285 --> 00:36:17,365
That he's not
He's not beautiful
848
00:36:17,445 --> 00:36:18,285
Where are you?
849
00:36:19,725 --> 00:36:21,805
She broke her heart
850
00:36:22,405 --> 00:36:25,765
That's when she started to think that
851
00:36:26,005 --> 00:36:27,685
She's not beautiful
852
00:36:27,765 --> 00:36:29,605
Alright. Mush, you damn dogs.
853
00:36:30,125 --> 00:36:31,165
Come on. Mush.
854
00:36:31,245 --> 00:36:33,885
"You're handsome," they say
855
00:36:35,045 --> 00:36:36,885
If you wanna be weird, be weird
856
00:36:36,965 --> 00:36:38,285
So much fun.
857
00:36:38,365 --> 00:36:41,565
Doesn't matter how you're born
or who they think you're supposed to be.
858
00:36:42,005 --> 00:36:42,925
Thank you very much.
859
00:36:43,005 --> 00:36:46,445
Be your own kind of beautiful
860
00:36:46,525 --> 00:36:47,805
You do you.
861
00:36:48,365 --> 00:36:49,765
You do you.
862
00:36:50,125 --> 00:36:52,605
Beautiful
863
00:36:55,485 --> 00:36:56,565
That was great.
864
00:36:56,645 --> 00:36:58,205
-Thank you.
-Beautiful.
59209
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