Original subtitles

Kylie!

Kylie!

Kylie!

Hurry up, please. I can't do all this on my own.

Don't leave me standing here in the sun.

I'm going to get sunburned for God's sake.

Dogs, where are the dogs?

I don't want your arse print on the canvas, for God's sake.

This would be my third pet art show.

Very nice.

I'm exhibiting in a major gallery in Cape Town in two weeks,

so I've got a lot of art to do.

There we go. Oh, look at that! That's-- Oh, onto the canvas.

Yes. Very, very good. Very good.

There're an honesty to pets' artwork.

Oh, don't knock it over, for God's sake!

I sell a lot of artworks at these exhibitions.

Most of these will go for up to 50 to 100 thousand rand,

Oh, very nice. Look at that.

depending on the size and the story behind the artists themselves.

This is too minimal. I don't like it.

This is Coody, one of my best-selling artists.

Coody's a rescue dog, very badly abused, very chequered past.

But as a result of that, her artworks can fetch up to 300,000 rand.

Not bad for a couple of paw prints on a canvas, eh?

OK, into that, and onto the canvas, and do some painting.

Oh, beautiful!

OK, coming back this way, please, Coody.

You don't want to go back to that home

that you lived in before you came to live with me, do you?

'Cause I might send you there if you don't do some painting.

I like what you've done there. That is actually fantastic.

Cats are harder.

They're creatively more blocked.

They find it hard to reveal too much.

Oh, nice, darling.

Do you want to do some painting for Jana?

Come on, darling. It's OK.

Oh, very good.

But all animals can be artists if they want to be.

Beautiful. OK.

So, we're two weeks as new owner

and a lot of big changes going in, as you can see,

the construction's started.

I'm reshuffling everything around, whole new floor plan. G'day, boys.

The place was-- Let's just say a lot of change was required.

June, what are we doing? You doing anything?

I've seen cadavers more lively than you.

Keith's kidding. That's my sense of humor.

Anyway, do some work, please.

These are the mannequins. They're pretty ancient.

They're replacing these. They're shit.

Give 'em a wave, sweetie.

My daughter Rashish.

Rashish is working on the floor here.

She's pretty useless, but it's family.

And my trouble and strife, my wife's over in accounts there, shuffling paper.

Get back to work.

Marilyn!

-Just let me finish here. -Sorry.

Pop that in a bag for you.

You're aware that we're moving this whole bench over there

this afternoon, so you gotta get all your junk out of it.

Yes, you told me. Thank you, Mrs. Scott.

Marilyn Fairbrother, store manager, been here five years.

-Almost ten. -Yeah, 'course she's--

She's very happy with all the changes that are going on here.

-Not-- -Not that.

No, it's using up all my floor space.

All will be revealed with that one. That's--

Trust the Keith.

Yeah, you just gotta relax. Relax, Marilyn.

Relax and trust the Keith. That's it.

You're getting sleepy.

You will do anything Keith says.

Kidding. Do some work, sweetheart. Put those away, please.

G'day. Welcome.

She's dragged you in here, has she?

You happy browsing?

It's women's wear this side, men's wear that side.

If you want to wear a suit your grandpa might have worn in World War I.

We're under new management. Keith Dick, new manager.

-G'day, mate. How you going? -Yeah, g'day.

And the lady is...

I've inherited a lot of the staff, and I wouldn't say it to their face,

but a lot of them are quite long in the tooth.

Alan, our men's wear specialist is

stuck over there in Siberia.

That's the name I came up with 'cause it's so remote.

I am looking to reassign roles,

so Alan may find himself in a less-visible position.

Stock room work, perhaps.

We've got the mauve top,

we've got the sparkly green and the maxi skirt.

What else have we got? I would suggest that,

but I'm not sure that rouching's gonna be very flattering for your pear shape.

Give us a holler when you're ready.

The store's clientele is, let's just say, women of a certain age,

and I'm not happy about that.

I want the cashed-up yummy mummies.

And I want the youth dollar.

Yeah, Keith no likey.

These spaghetti straps are a little mutton dressed as lamby on you.

Look, if I'm honest, I don't think we've got anything in store for ya.

So, yeah...

I'll get you to pop back in and get changed

and, yeah, sorry about that.

So it's been a couple weeks, and we've really kind of settled in.

I made these, this is, like, B for Becky,

-L for Lucy. So we're gonna put those up.

Yeah, she's so good at DIY, like, I'm hopeless.

Yeah, you're pretty good, but yeah, it's my thing.

And Merma lives here, on this shelf.

That's really good 'cause I can just grab her in the middle of the night

if I have, like, a night terror or something, I can just grab her.

And once I feel her, I just, like, calm down.

Yeah.

This is obviously my side of the room. It's kind of quirky and fun and...

Yeah, we've got Lucy's side down here, and she's sort of more boho,

more sort of cool, like, she loves owls.

-Owls are her thing. -I do. Yeah, definitely.

I mean, I like owls, too, but she loves owls.

So this side of the room is, like, the kitchenette side,

like, we've had the fridge, like, raised up,

got the chopping board here. It just, like, works for my back.

I don't have to lean down too far.

Yeah, there's not much in it.

Yeah, it's pretty empty, 'cause we don't want to get the Freshman 15.

-Fat. -Fat.

What else?

Oh, we've got our positivity wall here, so this is all, like, quotes and things

just to keep us motivated

and remind us what we're here for, which is our education, future, and fun.

Yeah, and that's just... our dad got us this, too, that's pepper spray,

just for around campus at night, cause, yeah. Better to be safe than sorry.

Aaron.

-Oh. -There he is.

This is Aaron. He's our dorm Resident Advisor, our R.A.

He's in his final year here and he's a legend.

He's super tall.

How tall are you? Sorry, Aaron.

-I'm 6'9". -6'9".

I'm taller!

Go back-to-back.

OK.

-Yeah, no, Becky's definitely taller. -I'm taller!

-Oh, yeah. -Watch your head.

Yeah, he's, this guy is freaking cool.

Fitting into college life has been so easy.

I can't believe it's only been two weeks, but I feel so at home.

And my height's been a real advantage.

Like, I've been able to help out around the dorm so much.

-There we go. No worries. -Thank you so much.

They're really hard to get off. They're, like, really dry

and must have been up here for years.

Classes have been amazing!

-Should we sit up at the back? -Yeah.

Me and Lucy do some together, and I do a lot of classes on my own,

but I'm fitting in like crazy.

Around campus can be a bit weird. Like, I get stared at a lot.

OK, let's get a selfie.

Right. Ready?

You go up on your toes a little bit, and I'll go down.

Do it again. I did a weird face.

And people always want photos with me.

-So cute! -OK.

Yeah. Good.

I don't get all the attention.

Like, sometimes they just want to talk to Lucy, but I'm cool with that.

-Yeah, cool. If you just wanna put... -Yeah.

...like your numbers in the phone.

I don't get along with everyone like Lucy does.

Like, I'm confident, but I'm not, like, super confident.

Hey, Beanstalk.

Yo, can you get out of the way of the TV? I can't see it.

-Come on. -Don't be mean!

I'm just kidding. I know she loves it.

Stop it, silly! No, that's fine. I'll move. I'll just go stand over here.

Becky, you want to play Spin the Bottle?

Oh, no, that's cool. You guys play.

I gotta go study soon, anyway, unfortunately.

Alright, whatever. Pull the table over here.

Oi, boys, boys.

Do you reckon go what, like this tee, like, the praying skeleton tee,

or go with the white shirt?

Tonight's my 30th, it's my last hurrah

before I become CEO of Reg Cook Real Estate.

-Yeah, do that. -And dog tag, yay or nay?

No, keep it. Looks fucking dope.

-Keep the tag, for sure. -Pass us one of those bad boys.

Me and my brothers, we still live at home with Mum and Dad,

so we're just having this little pre-drinks shindig.

Couple of my mates come over,

Ah, fuck.

I can't believe I'm fucking 30. How much do I still feel like I'm 23, eh?

-Bro, that's fucking ridiculous. -It's fucking weird.

-It's just like a mind-fuck. Yeah. -Yeah.

Dustin, get down. Let's do pushies.

I'm done. That's all you need, like, do, like three.

-You can do a few more, yeah. -Yeah, no.

Yeah, cool.

Here, boys, cheers.

-Boys! -Boys.

Fucking young Harrison's coming along, my new assistant, he's like...

-You got your fucking ID, mate? -Yeah, man, all sorted.

My man, the big horse here is, like, thinks he's some fucking big shot DJ,

he's got this DJ gig tonight at Lemon Night Club,

so we're all going to check him out.

I actually know the owner of Lemon, Ray, he's a good mate of mine.

Oi, weren't you gonna start a bar with that Ray bloke?

Yeah, Ray, it's a long story, but me and Ray were gonna open

this tiki bar together, but--

Boys, I got you all on the door list, by the way.

You don't need to, 'cause I know Ray, so...

I'm on the door list already.

Can't fucking wait for tonight.

Boys, you reckon I should do something schiz

like we do, like, a bubbler shot where I'll, like, piss in my own mouth,

and, like, get a pic and we'll post it?

Should we do that? Like, actually post it?

That sounds fucking gnarly, dude.

Is the Captain Quentmeister coming out tonight or what?

'Course the fucking Captain's coming out tonight!

Captain Quentmeister's my alter ego, right?

And he's, like, this sick version of me.

He's like, once I've had a few bevies or I've been--

He's just like Quentin. But he just does way more fucked-up shit.

Yeah, he's like a neck level version of me.

It's like, everyone's amazed by it.

Harrison, play some of your shit.

Oh, yes, here we go. Here we fucking go!

Fucking go, Quentin, killer cunt.

I'm gonna be fucking cunt-shaped like this tonight, boys.

Look out, future missos!

I was asking for a mate. Apparently you can get, like, surgery

to, like, reduce the size of your arse. Like, for dudes.

No, fuck that. The chicks fucking love the arse.

-Why would you do that? -Embrace it, dude. Just embrace it.

No, I fucking love it. I'm talking shit.

I've had such a chick drought lately. It's been fucking awful.

It's been, like, couple of months.

I want to bring home a filly, 'cause remember back in the day,

I used to be fucking known for it.

Like, remember we used to go out, I'd always pull a root. Every time.

He did. He fucking did.

But I don't know. See what happens, like, if it's early hours of the morning,

I might even punish my dick with an ugly chick.

Quentin!

-No, soz, Mum. I'm just being honest. -Come on!

Pull a salad-dodger or something. See what happens.

My baby! I don't want him to be with other girls!

I just want him to stay home with me.

I've only got eyes for you, Mum. Give us a kiss.

Happy birthday.

Boys, we gotta get photos,

like, do you want to get group shots before we go, like a birthday thing,

-before we get too maggot? -Fuck, yeah, dude.

Harrison, get your phone, take photos of us.

You boys going serious face, or smile?

No, serious, dude, serious. It's your birthday.

Can we get some low angles down there?

Maybe pop a dab.

-Dab? -Yeah, dab it right-o.

-Awesome. -Everyone dabbing.

Maybe just, like, in a line, but everyone's just, like,

slightly, like do a line, you're at the front,

I'll go next, and maybe just a wave, chuck a wave in.

Yeah.

-That's good. -Wow, dude, I'm...

Alright, maxi Uber's on the way.

Grab a roadie, everyone.

The boys! The boys! The boys, the boys, the boys!

The boys! The boys! The boys, the boys, the boys!

-Victoria. -Oopsie!

Victoria, come talk to your Mummy.

What has Kylie been doing to you? Come and talk to your Mummy.

She's been hurting you, hasn't she? Up you get.

Injections all done, then? Yes.

Yes. She did really, really well. It's all finished now.

They say we'll notice the changes in a few weeks.

Victoria and I, we talk about a lot of things together

and I've always known that she's had issues.

Victoria has been gender-fluid ever since she's been a puppy.

She's born female, but she's always felt as though she was a male,

haven't you, darling?

I've been trying and trying to feminize her, dress her as a female.

I've felt bad sometimes saying,

"Darling you are not a boy, you're a girl."

Also as the owner, you're supposed to try both genders out,

and so I've been dressing her as a male as well,

sometimes in a cap and a hoodie or something.

Come on, let's go for a boy walk.

We are fast-tracking our way

to a full, complete gender reassignment surgery.

She's getting upset because she doesn't like me talking

about the genital reassignment, particularly.

But we will be constructing a penis for her,

so she will have a completely full-functioning male penis.

Alright, staff in the middle of the store, please.

Everyone in for a lunchtime pow-wow.

Staff! June! Waddle over. Quickly!

Now, it hasn't been a great sales day.

Not a lot of customers, as you well know.

I think we need to all stop using the construction as an excuse.

I do think the dust is putting people off, and the noise--

Oh, blah, blah, blah, Marilyn! Dust yourself off!

We all need two hands in the middle

-Sell! Sell! Sell! -Sell! Sell! Sell!

Alright! Staff, back in positions!

Rashish, I want you at the front door doing doorway crosses with me,

make it seem busier for passing traffic.

Entice the customers in. Here we go.

Blah, blah, blah. Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb.

Oh, this is bloody good!

Blah, blah, blah. Yeah.

Oh, it's worked!

Hello, ma'am. How are you? Are you happy browsing,

or you want to buy some stuff? This is... That could work. Maybe not.

That is a great color for you.

I mean, this is horizontal, but it has got the beading, too.

These skirts, I mean, they look weird on the rack, but they are great on.

I'll pop that in the change room for you. I'm gonna force you to try it on.

-Give it a go. You never know. -Alright.

-You like that, do you? -No.

OK.

Phase One is redefining the entire retail experience,

and I've got some amazeballs ideas.

We are currently 80% ladies' fashion.

I want ladies' and I want men's.

And I don't want these lowbrow brands.

I want some highbrow stuff.

I've got some contacts. I can't say too much,

but I know some people at Fella Hamilton and Alex Perry.

And I may get some stuff in from there. Stay tuned on that one.

I want to turn the whole place into a "department store."

The whole thing.

We're gonna have electrical, small appliances, cosmetics.

I want to put in a cafe. Where are we gonna get the space?

We go up, into the offices upstairs.

We buy into next door. We buy out the whole block.

I'm getting quotes on an escalator. Putting an escalator in.

Matt, how much, ballpark figure, for an escalator?

What?

-Escalator? -Yeah.

Shit loads!

Well, you gotta dream big.

Welcome to the Keith Dick design studio.

Come on in.

This is the creative hub of the store, if you like.

This is where I'll be working on my fashion line.

It's a fully functional fashion design facility.

My wife Patika over in accounts there. Give 'em a wave, sweety.

I will be renaming the store,

so these are some of the names I've come up with.

Keith Dick's. Simple, it's just my name.

Dick Emporium. Could work.

The Dick House.

It's a little bit bargain warehouse-y, though, but...

Oh, this one, My Dick.

I put the "my" in there, it's--

Or we could keep the store name Fine Fashions.

Why would we?

Come on. Gimme this.

Don't leave me hanging.

There we go.

Yes, I do like that font quite a lot.

With an exclamation mark.

We are from Australia And came to Butterfield

You are from China So this is how we feel

Sisters we stay

Sisters we pray

We love Butterfield And Tsun-Ling, you should know

All of us together say Onto life we go

Onto life we go

Did you like it, Lingers?

-I wrote it. -Yeah. It's cool.

I should go. I have a class.

Oh, yeah. Cool.

Becky, she fully wrote it and she did the backing track as well.

-Like, she's so talented. -Thank you!

So, when are we gonna hang out? I can't wait to see you!

Yeah, maybe later. I will message you.

But for now, I should go. I have a class.

See you, Lucy.

-Bye. -Oh. Yeah, see you, Lingers.

That was good! It was good to see Lingers.

-Yeah, definitely. -Finally.

Becky, I have to say, this song is so good. It's amazing.

Thank you! Yeah.

All your songs are awesome, Becky, honestly. He would love them.

I love song writing. I just--

I don't know. He's been really distracted, though.

Like, I don't think he was that into it.

Maybe he's got a test on or something. I don't know.

Well, actually, I think we should do a film clip for the song. It's so good.

That is so nice, Nancy! Oh, my God, you're so nice to me!

You're, like, my first real college friend.

I love being your friend.

So, are you guys excited for the pub crawl tonight?

I don't know. I'm just--

I just don't know if I'm gonna go, Lucy.

I don't really like those boys. They're a bit scary

and I just don't drink alcohol, so it's like, why would I go?

It'd be good for you to get out of the dorm,

and you're by yourself a lot, Becky.

-That's true. -And you don't have to drink.

You know, you could just drink lemonade and say it's vodka lemonade.

Yeah, true.

-It's that time. -Study time.

Quickly.

Alright, I'm gonna go.

Yeah, this place is alright,

but it's like, pretty keen to get to the Lemon and just take it up a notch.

Yeah, it'll be dope at Lemon.

Speaking of which, fellas, I'm off.

I'll see you guys around.

-Run along, Mr. DJ. -Take it easy, big guy.

We get it, you're a fucking professional DJ.

It's so funny how much he goes on about it.

It's like, we know you're a DJ.

Like, fucking, "Oh, I gotta go early."

It just shits me. It's like--

It's pretty annoying. I'm fucking sick of that.

Oi! Not in here.

-Sorry, mate. -Fuck! Ease up, mate!

No, you're right. I'll just put it away.

Jesus Christ! Does he know it's your fucking birthday?

Hurry up with the fucking beers, mate. We're drinking like chicks!

Should we organize nose schooeys tonight, or...

Yeah, cunt. I'm keen, eh?

-Here we go, boys. -Here we go!

Fucking here we go!

-Chuck this one down. -It's started.

Happy fucking birthday to me!

Happy birthday!

-Fuck me! -Whoa!

-Where's Harrison? -Oh, he's going to Lemon.

-Gimme it. Gonna double up! -Double up!

Double up! Double up!

Yeah! Fuck, yes!

-The fucking Captain is coming! -He's coming!

Whoa! I'm fucking feeling the Captain coming!

-I can smell him. -Yes!

-I can smell him. -Yes!

I am so keen to tame the puss tonight, boys.

I'm gonna start fucking talking to those chicks down there.

How many potential fucking missos are down there?

-Seriously, boys. -Go get 'em.

Gonna start grooming them.

Grooming's what pedos do, you fucking weird cunt.

What's a bunch of honeys like you doing not talking to any dudes?

Can I grab a selfie?

I do need some click bait for my social media

-and your face should do the trick. -No, thank you.

-No, give us a selfie. Chuck us a pout. -No.

-No. No, thank you. -Why not? It's my birthday.

-Seriously? -Oh, really? How old?

I'm 24, turning 25, so...

-Ah, the big 2-5. -Yeah. So give us a birthday selfie.

Chuck it on Instagram. What's your Instagram?

-Come on, just give us a fucking selfie! -No.

What are you three laughing at?

You've obviously got some fucking in-joke.

It's nothing.

You're laughing at something in front of me, so it's obviously something. What?

I don't want to be rude, but you've got a pretty big bum for a guy.

So what?

Well, it's fine, it's just unusual.

Yeah, so do we. We're brothers. We all do.

-Yeah, what about it? -Yeah, what about it?

What's your issue?

-OK, guys. Sorry for laughing. -What, you think it's funny?

We're gonna go now. Have a good night.

I'm Quentin. What's your name?

Paige. Happy birthday.

-Full Slutty McSlutfaces. -Fucking hate chicks like that.

We definitely need fucking nose beers, bro.

Seriously, she's not even that fucking hot.

-Like, you're lucky to be talking to me. -I know, right?

Have a go at her, fucking strutting off like she's fucking God's gift.

-So up themselves, eh? -Fuck that!

Like, I don't even give a shit, but fuck!

-Yeah, honestly, fuck 'em. -Who cares, bro? Seriously.

It's very soon, darling.

I mean, you've got a lot of work for me that you can't neglect.

That's OK. I can do this.

My personal assistant, Kylie, has just announced

that she's going to marry her boyfriend, Craig.

I've met him. He's OK, I suppose.

I wouldn't say it to her face,

but as a husband, I don't know what she sees in him.

I just wonder what you see in him.

I mean, when you think of him, what excites you most?

I just love him.

-You just love him. OK. -Yeah.

When I think of Craig,

I think of the two of us and we're on this remote desert island.

And he's built me a beautiful treehouse in a big tree.

And he takes care of me.

And he's just a really strong and caring man.

A treehouse.

You want to live in a treehouse.

Well I could build a treehouse in the backyard,

if you want to live in a treehouse.

You can't live on a desert island anyway, sweetheart,

because then you wouldn't be able to work for me.

I've arranged for Cape Town's best vintage wedding dress stylist

to come over and find a dress for Kylie.

Jana! Oh!

-It's a surprise. -Oh, my gosh!

-It's a surprise for you. -That's so beautiful!

I want her to look her best on her big day.

She lights up in white, so when you see her in white...

Her face is so beautiful in white.

Oh, my word, Jana!

They're so expensive!

That's OK. It's all taken care of.

I want you to feel magical on your special day.

She's been very good to me. We're very close. We're a good team.

She doesn't know that I couldn't live without her.

Oh, darling, look at you! You look so nice!

-You happy with it? -I love it.

Oh, it looks so nice, darling!

-Look at you! -Hello, everyone!

Hi, Jana. We've met once before.

-Hi, hello. Yes, I know Craig. -Oh, you know Craig.

-Hi, sweetheart. Good. How are you? -Hi, how are you?

Good, thank you.

-You look amazing. -Thanks!

Jana organized all of this for me.

-Wow, that is a beautiful dress.

Apparently, you're going to build a treehouse for her.

What's that now?

-Never mind. I'll tell you later. -Oh, she hasn't told you. Never mind.

-No. -It's alright. Thank you.

-Stunning. Beautiful. -Thank you.

Well, this thing's been around.

It looks like an old '80s model.

OK, thanks, Alan.

Oh, feel the grunt in it!

It's got some suction.

You can feel the power of her!

Feel the--

Feel that, really delivers!

Keith, can I have a word?

OK.

I heard you're planning to close the store on Thursday and I think it's madness!

It's sending the wrong signal to all of our customers.

Get in my office.

Yes, we will be closing the store on Thursday,

and you will be getting the day off.

There's a new sheriff in town, Marilyn, and his name's Keith.

Get in the change room.

I am not trying to undermine your authority.

I just know the habits of our customers, their likes and their dislikes,

I have run this store for ten years.

Yes, you keep reminding me of that fact.

You forget that I've worked in retail for a long time as well.

I'm just saying the feedback I'm getting is that they don't like it.

The whole floor plan's changed and they're uncomfortable. You--

I am not obliged to tell you this, seeing as that I own the store,

but your customer is dying out. OK?

I want cashed-up yummy mummies, I want teens,

I want a fashion-savvy customer.

I will be turning the place into a department store,

whether you like it or not.

Now, I need you and I to work together on this.

Outbursts on my floor in front of my customers is not how Keith rolls.

I am allowed to say that I think closing on Thursday is a bad idea.

Well, I'm allowed to do this.

Rashish, sweetie, can I get you to show me how to close the apps on my phone?

-Yes. You just flick up. -I can't work it out.

Yeah, OK. I think my fingers are too fat.

-Yeah. -Thanks, sweetie.

The boys! The boys! The boys, the boys, the boys!

The boys! The boys! The boys, the boys, the boys!

You fucking what?

Boys, don't go to the end of the queue. Come here.

Mate! Mate, I know ya.

I know you from, I met you through Ray.

Can we, are we cool to go straight in, or--

Mate, I know ya. Dude!

My man, the big dog. I fucking met you, mate.

I met you before. Just let us in.

It's us four, me and four boys.

-Go to that line. -No, fuck that. Just let us in, mate.

-Let us in. -Guys, go to the back of the line.

Oh, you're a dickhead.

No, fuck it. Come here.

We're not, I'm not going to the back of the fucking queue.

Eh, that guy's being a fucking wanker.

Dude, fucking forget about him, dude!

Dude, what are we gonna fucking do?

Oh, I know this fucking chick! Lisa.

-Are you Lisa? -No, sorry.

We're, I think we're on the list. Quentin Cook plus four.

No, sorry. Back of the line.

-No, mate, chill. Don't touch me. -Chill.

Don't touch me. I'm talking to this chick.

Back of the line.

Lisa, I mean...

Whatever your name is. Can we get in? We're on the DJ list.

Quentin Cook plus four.

-Yeah, alright. Guys, go in. -We're in, boys. We're in.

Chuck a stamp. Thanks, sweetie.

-Thank you so much. -Thank you.

Hey, boys! Captain Quentmeister has arrived!

Fuck yes!

So many fucking ugly chicks here!

Boys, gonna get a drink.

Mate! Oh, mate, my man! How are ya?

Quentin. Mate, you know me. You know me, dude!

Dude, I met you at Ray's, at the New Year's Eve party. Mate!

Mate, I follow you on Instagram! Dude!

Dude, can you get us free drinks? Mate!

-Can we get in the VIP section? -Fuck off, bro.

Saw that. See ya.

Boys, D floor!

Fuck, I can feel it, boys.

I can feel it.

Don't fucking dance facing each other. You look like faggots. Dance like this.

Don't fucking rub your arse against my arse!

Fuck!

-Boys, Harrison! -Oh, fuck!

-It's little fucking DJ faggot! -No, no, no!

-Play something decent, you cunt! -No, fuck off. Stop!

-Play something good, you fucking idiot! -No, fuck off!

-Play something good, you dumb cunt! -Fuck this shit!

Boys, the bubbler! Gonna do a fucking bubbler!

Bubbler!

Can't wait to fucking do this! Oh, dude!

Alright, Ethan, you film it. You film me.

Wait 'til I say. Wait.

OK, go. Film it!

Oh, it just keeps going!

Captain Quentmeister, you fucking classic cunt!

Yes! Fuck, yes! Did you get it? Did you fucking get it?

Oh, no way!

-Oh, fuck! -Oh, my God!

It's actually sick!

Fuck, boys, that's sick!

I'm gonna fucking post that shit on Instagram!

-Shit, here she comes! -She's coming!

So, I'm really nervous, but I decided to go to the dorm pub-crawl tonight.

Nancy said she'd go with me if I went,

and I'm kind of a bit scared, to be honest.

I found out at the last minute from the boys

that it's actually gonna be a toga theme for tonight,

so we're all wearing togas.

So, lucky they told me.

So I had to improvise and create this out of a sheet

and went to a craft supplies place for this and--

Yeah, it's turned out pretty well.

Becky! Hey, Becky, hurry up! Come show us your outfit!

I'm nearly ready.

Are you guys in yours?

Yeah, all of us are here. Come out. We want to see it.

OK. One minute.

Bro, that's ridiculous!

-Hey, guys! I'll just get ready. -She's actually in a toga!

What's so funny?

Nothing.

Why are you boys giggling?

Have you seen Becky?

Did you tell her to do that?

Dude, come on! That's so mean!

Becky, it's OK.

Becky!

Shit!

Becky!

Oh, what's going on?

I hit my head.

-Becky, are you OK? -Are you OK?

They need to put padding in the doorway.

-It's OK. -I hate you!

You don't. Come on, show me where it hurts.

-I'm gonna chuck it on my Instagram! -Oh, yes!

So fucking funny!

Oi, boys! There's those fucking hot sluts from the bar!

Fuck! I'm gonna show 'em this!

Guys, Paige! Check this out!

Paige, look!

-Check it out! -Move over!

How fucking funny is it?

Can you just fuck off?

It's me pissing in my own mouth!

Paige, fucking check it out!

Fuck off, fat arse, and take your fat arse brothers with you!

Fuck off.

-Come with us. -What? I didn't do anything.

I didn't do anything! Bro, you can't kick me out!

I didn't fucking do anything! Dude!

Dude, I know the DJ!

I know the fucking DJ!

Dude, I'm on the list!

Boys, I don't reckon we go home. I reckon we go to strippers.

It's like, get in the back door, I fucking know all the girls there.

We'll get in. You boys in? You want to do it?

Let's do it. We'll just go there. I'll put the address in.

Put the address in. Mate, we're going to strippers.

I'll put the address in.

I'm gonna message Jodi. You know that chick, Jodi?

She'll give us fucking free lap dances

group jerk-off, 400 each.

Come on. Who's in?

Quentin, don't text her.

Come on. I've already texted her, mate.

The night's a pup, boys. We fucking keep the dream alive. Fuck's sake!

Dude, it's my fucking birthday! Don't be lame cunts!

Don't let me down, boys!

-Hey, Uber, we're going home. -Fuck's sake! We're not going home.

-We're going to strippers. -Don't change the address.

Pussies, have you missed Jana?

I like to feed my pussies, so at night I come out and feed them.

Cape Town has a lot of stray cats, so...

All my pussies, where are all my pussies?

Usually Kylie comes with me, but she's got wedding plans

or something, so go figure.

Pussies!

This is Kana.

She's a very beautiful cat.

She's old, but she's very smart,

and she loves a cat called Mylie.

Where's Mylie? Mylie? Oh, there's Mylie over there.

She's very sweet, very young, but not very smart.

Unfortunately, Mylie loves a cat called Rague.

Rague is a de-sexed male cat.

Very boring, no personality.

I don't know what she sees in him.

Female to female relationships are very common in the cat world.

Who wants to do some painting?

Stray cat artwork is very valuable, too, in the animal or scene.

So, I'll be getting Kana to do some paintings for me.

Here we go. Squish in.

And then, onto the canvas.

I like what you've done here.

Very, very nice.

That will sell for a fortune, actually.

Actually, hand me the halter neck in the camel.

Actually, give me that boy's single that extra-large in the white.

Those little pricks!

Piss off out the front of my bloody store!

I've told you, I've called the Council. You're gonna get a fine.

Get outta here! Go on!

Oh, yeah! Roll away!

You're clever with your little wheels!

Go home, Marilyn. I told you not to come in. It's Thursday.

I'm not closing the store today. I told you.

I'm rearranging everything in there. Go home.

-I'm going inside. No. -You need to chill. Relax.

-Relax. -Thank you. No, thank you.

You need to have a mani-pedi. You need to be more zen, Marilyn.

Oh, here we go!

Oh! Bloody beautiful!

Keith likey very muchly.

Are you OK with this, Patika?

Yes.

Finally my name on a sign. I bloody love it.

Well done, fellas! It's great!

I'm going in.

Come here, Patika! Come here!

No, you're not going in! Get in!

I've changed the locks. She can't get in.

Your keys won't work.

Your keys won't work. Sorry! Go home!

I don't need you. Have a day off.

See you tomorrow. Go.

Bye!

See you at work tomorrow! Bye!

Piss off!

Alright, OK. The sign looks great!