Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,325 --> 00:00:09,325
[indistinct chatter]
2
00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:12,805
[Becky] So, just place your angel vases�
on the shelf
3
00:00:12,885 --> 00:00:14,765
or somewhere near your bed�
that you want to look pretty
4
00:00:14,845 --> 00:00:17,005
and just turn them on like this�
with the battery pack.
5
00:00:17,085 --> 00:00:18,325
And there you go!
6
00:00:18,405 --> 00:00:21,365
So, the hearts just get illuminated
and it's a really pretty look.
7
00:00:21,445 --> 00:00:24,725
And make sure you cover your battery pack�
in some decorative tape, like this.
8
00:00:24,805 --> 00:00:26,165
It'll just make it look nice.
9
00:00:26,245 --> 00:00:28,245
So, that's it for Kraftaholik this week.
10
00:00:28,365 --> 00:00:30,725
I'm Becky and make sure you leave�
a comment underneath
11
00:00:30,805 --> 00:00:33,085
and let me know what crafts�
you want me to do next.
12
00:00:33,685 --> 00:00:34,765
College freshman advice.
13
00:00:34,845 --> 00:00:37,045
So, guys, if you're in the first few weeks
of college,
14
00:00:37,125 --> 00:00:38,605
and you don't have a lot of friends,
15
00:00:38,685 --> 00:00:42,165
that's okay, because just be yourself,
and those friends will come.
16
00:00:42,245 --> 00:00:45,605
Like they came to me, with Nancy,�
who is filming right now,
17
00:00:45,685 --> 00:00:47,245
behind that camera. [chuckles]
18
00:00:47,765 --> 00:00:50,285
Okay, so from me and Merma, it's goodbye.
19
00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:53,285
Goodbye, and remember to hit that�
"Subscribe" button,
20
00:00:53,365 --> 00:00:55,365
and to give the video a big thumbs-up.
21
00:00:55,605 --> 00:00:57,045
Okay, bye!
22
00:00:58,325 --> 00:00:59,525
Cut there. Cool.
23
00:00:59,605 --> 00:01:03,005
All right, so I want to do some more,�
like, time-lapse stuff, but--
24
00:01:03,085 --> 00:01:05,725
Come on, Becky, we talked about it.�
I have to study.
25
00:01:05,805 --> 00:01:08,205
-I told you, right?
-Please, I want to do more videos.
26
00:01:08,285 --> 00:01:10,045
-Come on.
-You said you'd help me.
27
00:01:10,125 --> 00:01:11,525
Already done it for hours.
28
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:14,165
I've been loving doing my DIY videos.
29
00:01:14,245 --> 00:01:16,165
I've set up my own YouTube channel.
30
00:01:16,245 --> 00:01:18,805
So, it's "Kraft_aholik."
31
00:01:18,885 --> 00:01:22,085
"Kraftaholik" with a "K" at the beginning,
and a "K" at the end.
32
00:01:22,565 --> 00:01:24,885
I've got 30 subscribers already.
33
00:01:25,125 --> 00:01:27,645
And Nancy's helping me do it, too.�
She's loving it.
34
00:01:27,725 --> 00:01:30,365
-Come on, take this. Take ten bucks.
-No, I can't, Becky.
35
00:01:30,445 --> 00:01:33,805
-I already told you I have to study.
-Okay. Poo-poo.
36
00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:35,125
-Bye.
-Bye.
37
00:01:35,205 --> 00:01:38,805
[Becky] I'm spending way more of my time�
in my dorm room than I expected,
38
00:01:38,925 --> 00:01:41,885
but I'm really loving it,�
and I've done a lot to it.
39
00:01:42,005 --> 00:01:43,605
It's looking really good.
40
00:01:43,685 --> 00:01:45,085
Hi, Becky, I'm just getting the iPad,
41
00:01:45,165 --> 00:01:46,645
-then we're heading out again.
-Oh, hi.
42
00:01:46,725 --> 00:01:49,045
-These are my friends, Tash and Soph.
-Hi!
43
00:01:49,125 --> 00:01:50,965
-Hi.
-Have you been doing craft all day?
44
00:01:51,045 --> 00:01:53,125
[Becky] Yeah, but Nancy was here before,�
helping me.
45
00:01:53,405 --> 00:01:55,165
I'm just going to study this afternoon.
46
00:01:55,245 --> 00:01:56,965
You should be studying, too.�
We've got mid-terms.
47
00:01:57,045 --> 00:01:58,765
Chill. Don't worry, Mom.
48
00:01:58,845 --> 00:02:00,725
-Bye.
-[Becky] I want to be in my room, anyway,
49
00:02:00,805 --> 00:02:03,365
because the boys dominate
the common room so much.
50
00:02:03,445 --> 00:02:05,645
They don't exactly make me feel�
that welcome.
51
00:02:05,725 --> 00:02:07,045
And they're really messy.
52
00:02:07,125 --> 00:02:09,005
So, these are the bottles�
that I wanted to show you.
53
00:02:09,085 --> 00:02:12,125
Because they're just lining them up.
Like, they're drinking heaps.
54
00:02:12,445 --> 00:02:14,165
And they're always playing this game,
55
00:02:14,245 --> 00:02:16,325
and they're just leaving ping pong balls�
around on the floor.
56
00:02:16,405 --> 00:02:18,165
-Like, I could trip on the them easily.
-[Aaron] Yeah.
57
00:02:18,245 --> 00:02:20,845
And, um, they're just, they're�
staying up late at night and talking.
58
00:02:20,965 --> 00:02:23,605
Even after quiet hour.�
So, like, I'm trying to go to sleep
59
00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:25,685
and I'm just, like,�
constantly hearing noise.
60
00:02:26,325 --> 00:02:27,445
And it's mostly...
61
00:02:28,165 --> 00:02:29,645
-All right, Jack.
-Yeah.
62
00:02:29,725 --> 00:02:32,645
So, those bottles,�
they need to go out with the trash.
63
00:02:32,725 --> 00:02:34,165
[Jack] Yeah, I'm sorry about that, man.
64
00:02:34,245 --> 00:02:35,645
Don't you guys have midterms to study for?
65
00:02:35,725 --> 00:02:38,485
Yeah, we do. That won't happen again, man.
I'm really sorry.
66
00:02:38,565 --> 00:02:39,805
Thanks, Becky.
67
00:02:40,485 --> 00:02:41,405
Fuck.
68
00:02:41,925 --> 00:02:43,125
I mean, they're messing up the corridors.
69
00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:45,525
Like, they're just leaving�
clothes and stuff everywhere,
70
00:02:45,605 --> 00:02:49,405
and, like, bags outside their doors, which,
there's a rule we're not supposed to.
71
00:02:49,485 --> 00:02:50,885
Socks on door handles, like that.
72
00:02:50,965 --> 00:02:52,445
-See that sock?
-Yeah.
73
00:02:52,525 --> 00:02:55,485
I think it just means they want a bit�
of privacy if they're with someone.
74
00:02:56,365 --> 00:02:57,765
Well, that's disgusting.
75
00:02:58,525 --> 00:02:59,965
Oh, and, Aaron, the fan.
76
00:03:00,045 --> 00:03:02,205
That fan got left on the other day�
by the boys.
77
00:03:02,285 --> 00:03:04,285
That is so dangerous.�
It could chop my head off.
78
00:03:04,765 --> 00:03:07,085
[Becky] They just need to understand
we are living as a group,
79
00:03:07,165 --> 00:03:08,925
and not just think of themselves.
80
00:03:10,885 --> 00:03:12,605
I'm not trying to be everyone's�
best friend.
81
00:03:12,685 --> 00:03:15,445
I just want all of us in the dorms�
to just get along.
82
00:03:15,525 --> 00:03:17,525
[girl] Fuck off, you lesbian freak.
83
00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:23,725
[theme music playing]
84
00:03:35,805 --> 00:03:37,725
[shouting] Piss off away from�
the front of my store!
85
00:03:37,805 --> 00:03:38,765
I bloody told you!
86
00:03:38,845 --> 00:03:42,325
I've called the Council.
You're gonna end up with criminal records!
87
00:03:42,925 --> 00:03:44,085
Jesus Christ.
88
00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:46,885
[Keith] Today is the grand opening�
of My Dick.
89
00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:48,485
We are all systems go.
90
00:03:48,565 --> 00:03:50,485
Phase one renovations are complete,
91
00:03:50,565 --> 00:03:52,565
and the store's looking schmick and span.
92
00:03:52,645 --> 00:03:54,205
[Keith] Patika, I want you�
off the floor entirely
93
00:03:54,285 --> 00:03:56,085
when the store opens.
Are you listening?
94
00:03:56,205 --> 00:03:58,005
New paintwork, new shelving.
95
00:03:58,125 --> 00:04:01,605
We got the "My Dick" clouds�
coming down from above.
96
00:04:01,685 --> 00:04:03,445
We got the new counter over here.
97
00:04:03,525 --> 00:04:06,085
The new streamlined counter�
with the curved edges.
98
00:04:06,165 --> 00:04:07,605
New change rooms here, too.
99
00:04:07,685 --> 00:04:10,885
We got the yellow curtains.�
They're a unisex change room.
100
00:04:10,965 --> 00:04:13,765
Purchase-confidence lighting.
We've had lighting experts in.
101
00:04:13,845 --> 00:04:16,845
As you can see, thinning mirrors,
so when you grab an outfit,�
102
00:04:16,925 --> 00:04:18,005
hold it up in front of yourself,
103
00:04:18,085 --> 00:04:19,885
and you look at lot thinner�
than you really are.
104
00:04:19,965 --> 00:04:21,245
Which leads to sales.
105
00:04:21,685 --> 00:04:23,165
Alan! Get back inside!
106
00:04:23,605 --> 00:04:25,245
Get in the stock room now!
107
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:28,205
I reassigned roles.�
I've got Alan out in the stock room.
108
00:04:28,285 --> 00:04:29,565
A less visible position.
109
00:04:29,645 --> 00:04:31,405
We've hired some younger staff members.
110
00:04:31,485 --> 00:04:33,485
Got Conor, here. He's head of menswear.
111
00:04:33,605 --> 00:04:35,245
-How are you, Conor, mate?
-I'm good. Yourself?
112
00:04:35,325 --> 00:04:36,285
Fist me, dude.
113
00:04:37,125 --> 00:04:38,125
That's...
114
00:04:38,205 --> 00:04:40,525
Got Freya over here in cosmetics, too.
115
00:04:40,605 --> 00:04:42,805
She's doing a wonderful job,
aren't you, sweetie?
116
00:04:42,885 --> 00:04:45,845
Give us some rouge.�
Give me some contouring.
117
00:04:46,245 --> 00:04:47,645
Don't actually do it. I'm a man.
118
00:04:47,725 --> 00:04:49,565
Jesus Christ. I'm joking, obviously.
119
00:04:49,645 --> 00:04:51,525
This is another ingenious concept of mine.
120
00:04:51,605 --> 00:04:55,845
These contraptions here will emit
a fine mist on the customer's face
121
00:04:55,925 --> 00:04:56,845
as they walk through.
122
00:04:56,925 --> 00:04:58,525
They'll breathe it in, it'll relax them,
123
00:04:58,605 --> 00:05:01,725
it'll energize them
into a purchase mindset.
124
00:05:01,965 --> 00:05:03,925
If I could get Marilyn to demonstrate.
125
00:05:04,045 --> 00:05:05,005
Come on through.
126
00:05:05,645 --> 00:05:06,925
What a time to be alive!
127
00:05:07,005 --> 00:05:08,085
-[coughing]
-Check that out.
128
00:05:08,205 --> 00:05:10,285
-Breathe it in. Take it in.
-Might have... been a bit close.
129
00:05:10,365 --> 00:05:12,485
How does it make you feel?
Does it make you feel like buying?
130
00:05:13,045 --> 00:05:14,285
-Yes.
-Yeah, good, good.
131
00:05:14,365 --> 00:05:15,205
Sort of.
132
00:05:15,285 --> 00:05:16,845
[vacuum running]
133
00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:17,765
[vacuum stops]
134
00:05:17,925 --> 00:05:20,725
Right, staff!
We are five minutes till open.
135
00:05:20,805 --> 00:05:23,605
All staff in positions,�
straightening stock, if required.
136
00:05:23,965 --> 00:05:26,165
Five minutes till lift-off, Houston.
137
00:05:26,525 --> 00:05:29,885
Come on, quickly!�
June, in position, please.
138
00:05:30,405 --> 00:05:31,405
First impressions count,
139
00:05:31,485 --> 00:05:34,085
and this beast, the Hoover,
has been helping me out.
140
00:05:34,165 --> 00:05:35,165
Thirty year old.
141
00:05:35,245 --> 00:05:37,805
Better than a Dyson.�
It's a fantastic machine.
142
00:05:37,885 --> 00:05:39,685
It's got the wide-gauge hose
143
00:05:39,765 --> 00:05:43,125
and she's been my right-hand girl�
for the last few days in the store.
144
00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:46,645
Right on, let's open this bitch.
145
00:05:46,725 --> 00:05:47,805
Okay.
146
00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:53,245
[groaning] All right! Five, four,�
three, two, one!
147
00:05:53,325 --> 00:05:55,485
[loudly] My Dick is officially open!
148
00:05:56,245 --> 00:05:58,885
Patika, get back, please.
Into Accounts, now!
149
00:05:59,405 --> 00:06:01,765
[Keith] Rashish, music!�
We forgot the bloody music!
150
00:06:02,245 --> 00:06:03,565
Play the music, please!
151
00:06:04,685 --> 00:06:07,445
[electronic dance music plays]
152
00:06:08,045 --> 00:06:09,685
[Keith] Louder! Turn it up louder!
153
00:06:10,925 --> 00:06:12,325
Get into it, Marilyn.
154
00:06:15,405 --> 00:06:16,245
Hey!
155
00:06:16,965 --> 00:06:18,965
[music continues]
156
00:06:19,965 --> 00:06:21,405
[Keith] Ah! Fantastic!
157
00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:36,285
[Keith] You can't expect�
to hit the ground running.
158
00:06:36,365 --> 00:06:38,005
I mean, these things take time.
159
00:06:38,725 --> 00:06:41,725
I'd be an idiot to expect to be�
overrun with customers just yet.
160
00:06:43,725 --> 00:06:45,605
Oh, hi, ladies. Welcome to My Dick.
161
00:06:45,685 --> 00:06:46,805
Keith Dick, new owner.
162
00:06:47,245 --> 00:06:49,565
So, we've got some high-end labels�
in-store.
163
00:06:49,645 --> 00:06:51,325
And, happy browsing, are you?
164
00:06:51,405 --> 00:06:52,885
What did you get up to last night?
165
00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:54,965
Anyway, I'll leave you to it. In you go!
166
00:06:55,085 --> 00:06:56,005
Cool. Cool.
167
00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:07,485
[Keith] The new store will offer�
a retail experience
168
00:07:07,605 --> 00:07:08,845
like no other.
169
00:07:08,925 --> 00:07:10,405
It'll be a personalized service.
170
00:07:11,285 --> 00:07:12,645
All right, so we've got a pear-shape,
171
00:07:12,725 --> 00:07:14,365
we've got a pear-shape,�
we have an apple shape,
172
00:07:14,445 --> 00:07:15,885
we have a full hourglass figure,
173
00:07:15,965 --> 00:07:18,365
we have boyish, straight up-and-down
with a smaller chest.
174
00:07:18,445 --> 00:07:20,805
I'm gonna choose one of you,�
and it's gonna be you.
175
00:07:20,885 --> 00:07:22,565
Come with me, ma'am. Through here, please.
176
00:07:22,645 --> 00:07:23,845
The rest of you can keep shopping.
177
00:07:23,925 --> 00:07:26,525
I'm just gonna--
I think there's a lot we can do here.
178
00:07:26,605 --> 00:07:29,485
I think there's a banging bod�
underneath all that blandness.
179
00:07:29,565 --> 00:07:31,205
Are you a Spanx wearer at all?
180
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:32,445
-No.
-No.
181
00:07:32,765 --> 00:07:33,765
Okay.
182
00:07:34,045 --> 00:07:35,965
I think that's not going to work.
183
00:07:39,405 --> 00:07:40,445
[chicken clucks]
184
00:07:41,805 --> 00:07:44,165
-[Gavin] You put that one there.
-Yup.
185
00:07:45,205 --> 00:07:49,205
[Gavin] Living at Gayhurst�
was boring as fuck at first.
186
00:07:49,845 --> 00:07:52,885
I was, like, busting a nut
thinking of things to do.
187
00:07:52,965 --> 00:07:53,805
Push it in.
188
00:07:53,885 --> 00:07:55,645
But it got good recently
189
00:07:55,765 --> 00:07:59,365
because I started doing content for my�
CuntLord Instagram.
190
00:08:03,725 --> 00:08:04,885
Dope as fuck.
191
00:08:06,125 --> 00:08:07,205
Dope as fuck.
192
00:08:07,885 --> 00:08:10,605
-[Dylan] No! No! No!
-Dope as fuck.
193
00:08:10,685 --> 00:08:12,125
No! No! No!
194
00:08:12,485 --> 00:08:14,245
You record me. Stand there.
195
00:08:14,645 --> 00:08:17,165
And I'm gonna sing it here,
but if I move...
196
00:08:17,245 --> 00:08:19,845
[Gavin] Today, we're shooting�
a music video.
197
00:08:20,925 --> 00:08:23,845
It's for a song that I wrote on my phone.
198
00:08:24,365 --> 00:08:25,725
It's called "The Fuck Song."
199
00:08:26,405 --> 00:08:29,125
[punk rock music playing]
200
00:08:29,765 --> 00:08:32,805
♪ If you wanna fuck
Let's fuck fuck fuck ♪
201
00:08:33,205 --> 00:08:36,165
♪ If you wanna fuck
Let's fuck fuck fuck ♪
202
00:08:36,605 --> 00:08:39,965
♪ Fuck me to the left
And fuck me to the right ♪
203
00:08:40,045 --> 00:08:43,325
♪ Fuck the Broadway lights ♪
204
00:08:43,405 --> 00:08:46,445
♪ If you wanna fuck
Let's fuck fuck fuck ♪
205
00:08:47,565 --> 00:08:49,245
It's three o' clock. We gotta go!
206
00:08:49,725 --> 00:08:50,565
[punk music ends]
207
00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:13,525
[Joyce] I'm pissed off to the max.�
Of course I am!
208
00:09:13,605 --> 00:09:16,165
I've had the bloody neighbors over here,
telling me what to do.
209
00:09:16,645 --> 00:09:20,565
Right up at my front door, in my face,
bloody telling me how to run my life.
210
00:09:20,805 --> 00:09:23,485
It's this idiot.
White one, there, two doors down.
211
00:09:23,565 --> 00:09:25,965
Can't even bloody see my rubbish�
from his place.
212
00:09:26,045 --> 00:09:27,565
And stiff cheddar if he can!
213
00:09:27,885 --> 00:09:29,885
[Joyce] I've run out of space�
in my backyard.
214
00:09:29,965 --> 00:09:32,685
I've had to move my rubbish
to my front yard.
215
00:09:33,085 --> 00:09:35,285
Big bloody whoop! It's my front yard!
216
00:09:35,725 --> 00:09:37,845
[Joyce] And my bloody dishwasher's�
not working,
217
00:09:37,925 --> 00:09:39,325
and the landlord won't fix it,
218
00:09:39,405 --> 00:09:41,765
so I've been eating off�
bloody paper plates for weeks.
219
00:09:42,685 --> 00:09:46,045
I've thrown away so much bloody
cutlery and crockery, it's not funny.
220
00:09:47,245 --> 00:09:48,125
I'm so over it.
221
00:09:48,205 --> 00:09:51,125
Fix my bloody dishwasher,�
you stupid drongo!
222
00:09:53,445 --> 00:09:54,765
Oh, there he is. That's the idiot.
223
00:09:54,845 --> 00:09:57,005
He's threatened to call the Council on me.
224
00:09:57,085 --> 00:09:58,445
[Joyce] Stupid deadshit.
225
00:09:58,885 --> 00:10:00,205
Here he comes.
226
00:10:02,885 --> 00:10:05,805
Mind your own beeswax! Get fucked!
227
00:10:06,365 --> 00:10:07,605
Stupid deadshit.
228
00:10:08,165 --> 00:10:11,085
Come in, Les. Victor-Charlie-Charlie.
Do you read me, Les?
229
00:10:11,165 --> 00:10:12,565
Les, are you there?
230
00:10:12,645 --> 00:10:14,085
I need to talk to you.
231
00:10:14,165 --> 00:10:15,045
[static]
232
00:10:15,165 --> 00:10:16,885
Les, the neighbors are bullying me.
233
00:10:16,965 --> 00:10:18,805
I need to talk. Do you read me?
234
00:10:19,205 --> 00:10:20,885
[Rhonda] Well, Joyce has
taken it pretty badly.
235
00:10:20,965 --> 00:10:22,605
Her stress levels are through the roof.
236
00:10:23,045 --> 00:10:25,245
[Joyce] Rhonda, have you seen the toys?
237
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:26,565
Everyone's upset.
238
00:10:27,685 --> 00:10:29,085
Oh, look. Look.
239
00:10:29,165 --> 00:10:30,845
My friends have left messages for me.
240
00:10:30,925 --> 00:10:32,925
They're really mad, as well.
241
00:10:33,645 --> 00:10:36,645
Big Jessie must be so upset,�
and so is Peter.
242
00:10:36,725 --> 00:10:37,805
Come on, love.
243
00:10:37,885 --> 00:10:40,525
[Rhonda] Look, let's have a read�
from the Jar of Memories.
244
00:10:40,605 --> 00:10:41,685
"Jar of Memories."
245
00:10:41,765 --> 00:10:44,845
This is what me and my dad did�
before we lost him.
246
00:10:45,525 --> 00:10:47,485
It's all the memories
that him and I share,
247
00:10:47,565 --> 00:10:51,045
and I read them�
when I'm feeling a bit weird.
248
00:10:51,445 --> 00:10:53,765
That's my dad's handwriting, so...
249
00:10:54,485 --> 00:10:56,125
"When you went outside at night
250
00:10:56,205 --> 00:10:58,285
and accidentally picked up
a brushtail possum
251
00:10:58,365 --> 00:10:59,605
thinking it was the cat."
252
00:11:01,165 --> 00:11:03,125
[Rhonda] There you go, love. Look.
253
00:11:03,525 --> 00:11:05,165
There. You feeling better now?
254
00:11:05,245 --> 00:11:07,645
Yeah, I do actually feel better. Yeah.
255
00:11:08,325 --> 00:11:10,485
It doesn't take much�
to tip her over the edge.
256
00:11:10,565 --> 00:11:12,965
[Rhonda] We've got to get this issue�
sorted, quicksmart.
257
00:11:14,165 --> 00:11:16,805
It's an avocado.
I thought this was an Easter egg, Rhonda.
258
00:11:17,325 --> 00:11:18,805
God Almighty.
259
00:11:19,965 --> 00:11:22,165
[Gavin] All right, give me the knife.
260
00:11:26,925 --> 00:11:27,885
[Dylan] Got it?
261
00:11:27,965 --> 00:11:32,285
There's this little dumb-cunt neighbor
who keeps teasing me and calling me fat.
262
00:11:32,365 --> 00:11:33,805
I'm gonna kick his ass.
263
00:11:34,285 --> 00:11:37,045
[Gavin] He always comes past here at 3:15.
264
00:11:38,125 --> 00:11:40,485
Oi, cunt! Oi, dumb cunt!
265
00:11:40,565 --> 00:11:42,525
Wanna try calling me fat?
266
00:11:42,605 --> 00:11:43,645
You are fat.
267
00:11:43,725 --> 00:11:45,565
And what are you gonna do about it�
from up there?
268
00:11:45,645 --> 00:11:46,725
I'll kick your ass.
269
00:11:47,125 --> 00:11:50,085
Well, I'll kick you in the dick�
and cut you with this knife,
270
00:11:50,165 --> 00:11:51,045
you little bitch.
271
00:11:51,125 --> 00:11:53,405
I'd outrun you easily, you fat pussy.
272
00:11:53,725 --> 00:11:56,765
-Want me fuck you up, skinny cunt?
-[boy] I'll fuck you up.
273
00:11:57,605 --> 00:11:59,885
[Gavin] When I'm the earl of this place,�
274
00:11:59,965 --> 00:12:03,525
I'm gonna put you in jail,�
and then you're gonna get butt-fucked.
275
00:12:03,605 --> 00:12:04,605
Yeah, good point.
276
00:12:04,685 --> 00:12:07,085
You'll never be earl of this place,�
you dumb-ass.
277
00:12:07,165 --> 00:12:08,925
[boy] So, just go back to Australia.�
278
00:12:09,005 --> 00:12:10,645
I'm sick of your fat fucking face.
279
00:12:10,725 --> 00:12:13,565
I'm gonna cut your ballsack off�
and hang it from this tree,
280
00:12:13,645 --> 00:12:15,685
you spicy little shit-cunt.
281
00:12:16,605 --> 00:12:17,885
Whatever.
282
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,325
[Becky] I've been really looking forward�
to today,
283
00:12:27,405 --> 00:12:29,965
because I finally get to meet up�
with Tsun-Ling.
284
00:12:30,045 --> 00:12:31,925
[Becky] Lingers! Hi!
285
00:12:32,005 --> 00:12:33,925
Where have you been? You're so late.
286
00:12:34,725 --> 00:12:35,805
Come sit down.
287
00:12:36,565 --> 00:12:38,205
[Becky] So, Lingers is a sophomore.
288
00:12:38,285 --> 00:12:41,045
So, I'm like a rookie compared to Linger.
289
00:12:41,605 --> 00:12:43,485
He was our exchange student�
from Guangzhou
290
00:12:43,565 --> 00:12:46,085
and he came to stay with me and Lucy,�
like, two years ago.
291
00:12:46,165 --> 00:12:49,285
And we just loved him.�
We just adored him so much.
292
00:12:49,365 --> 00:12:52,125
Yeah, Lingers is probably, like,
the main reason we came to Butterfield.
293
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:54,685
Like, when we saw what a great time�
he was having, we were, like--
294
00:12:54,765 --> 00:12:57,525
Look, not that we followed you in, like,
a stalker-y way.
295
00:12:57,605 --> 00:13:00,285
Like, we're not stalking you. [chuckles]
296
00:13:00,565 --> 00:13:01,565
At all.
297
00:13:01,645 --> 00:13:03,565
You should come check out our dorm.�
It's really fun.
298
00:13:03,645 --> 00:13:05,965
There’s, like, heaps of parties and stuff
all the time.
299
00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:08,245
Okay.
300
00:13:10,925 --> 00:13:14,685
So, have you been studying heaps or what?
Just been... yep?
301
00:13:14,765 --> 00:13:15,925
-Yeah.
-Cool.
302
00:13:17,645 --> 00:13:18,565
[Becky moans softly]
303
00:13:19,165 --> 00:13:22,285
Yeah, just kick it. Oh, God.
304
00:13:22,565 --> 00:13:26,205
[Becky] Lingers is, like, probably�
my main friend here at college, so far.
305
00:13:26,285 --> 00:13:29,405
Like... He's probably, like... I wouldn't...
Best friend?
306
00:13:29,485 --> 00:13:31,365
Like, we're probably best friends,�
basically.
307
00:13:31,445 --> 00:13:33,925
Like, we don't hang out that much,
but we text heaps.
308
00:13:34,005 --> 00:13:37,125
Like, I send him--
Well, we text each other heaps.
309
00:13:37,205 --> 00:13:38,285
We should hang more often, though.
310
00:13:38,365 --> 00:13:40,205
We should make it, like, a regular thing,
where we hang.
311
00:13:40,285 --> 00:13:42,405
Like, why don't we do that?
We should do that more often.
312
00:13:42,925 --> 00:13:43,765
[Becky] Hm.
313
00:13:44,325 --> 00:13:46,725
He's always on his phone. [chuckles]
314
00:13:48,365 --> 00:13:50,765
-Who are you texting?
-Uh, no one.
315
00:13:50,885 --> 00:13:51,765
Yeah.
316
00:13:52,045 --> 00:13:53,885
Okay, get in and poke your tongue out.
317
00:13:53,965 --> 00:13:55,325
Stick your tongue out.
318
00:13:58,005 --> 00:13:59,725
Put your... Just put your...
319
00:14:02,485 --> 00:14:04,085
Can you put your tongue out, or...?
320
00:14:05,525 --> 00:14:09,325
Oh, Lingers, you know I was telling you�
about my YouTube DIY channel?
321
00:14:09,405 --> 00:14:10,965
I've got, not even kidding,
322
00:14:11,045 --> 00:14:13,245
I've got over 100 subscribers.
323
00:14:13,605 --> 00:14:15,485
Did you want to watch�
one of the videos now?
324
00:14:16,165 --> 00:14:17,565
I'll show you one of my videos.
325
00:14:17,645 --> 00:14:18,885
Uh, no. Later.
326
00:14:18,965 --> 00:14:19,805
[Becky] Hm.
327
00:14:20,605 --> 00:14:22,885
Well, they're not long.�
I can just show a quickie.
328
00:14:24,685 --> 00:14:25,565
[Becky] Mm.
329
00:14:27,485 --> 00:14:29,085
Oh, is that your friend?
330
00:14:29,645 --> 00:14:31,645
Your friends!
I recognize them from Facebook.
331
00:14:32,245 --> 00:14:33,845
-Hey guys!
-Hey.
332
00:14:33,925 --> 00:14:35,845
I'm Becky from Australia. I'm his friend.
333
00:14:35,925 --> 00:14:37,725
I recognize you guys from Facebook.
334
00:14:37,805 --> 00:14:39,405
Yuen, Kwan, and Lee?
335
00:14:39,485 --> 00:14:41,605
-Yeah, cool. Hi!
-We gotta go.
336
00:14:41,685 --> 00:14:44,285
Oh, you're going.�
I thought we were gonna hang for a while.
337
00:14:44,365 --> 00:14:46,685
We did. It was great to see you.�
Later.
338
00:14:47,045 --> 00:14:49,125
Give me your phone,�
I'll put in my Netflix details in.
339
00:14:49,205 --> 00:14:51,525
I was gonna give you�
the username and password.
340
00:14:52,565 --> 00:14:55,045
It's just for one device,
but I just won't watch for a while.
341
00:14:56,685 --> 00:14:57,605
There you go.
342
00:14:57,685 --> 00:14:59,205
Cool. Before you go, take this.
343
00:14:59,285 --> 00:15:01,165
-Here's 20 bucks. I'm not gonna use it.
-I'm cool.
344
00:15:01,245 --> 00:15:03,045
-We gotta bounce. Later.
-Just take it. Okay.
345
00:15:04,005 --> 00:15:05,405
[Becky] Good seeing you!
346
00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:08,165
Wow, he's so cool.
347
00:15:09,605 --> 00:15:10,445
Hm.
348
00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:14,285
[Keith] And breathing in...
349
00:15:15,525 --> 00:15:16,765
And out.
350
00:15:17,005 --> 00:15:18,085
[Keith moans softly]
351
00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:20,485
And feel that release of energy.
352
00:15:21,645 --> 00:15:25,125
All the adrenaline of the day,
as it makes its way through your nose
353
00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:26,885
and out your coccyx.
354
00:15:28,525 --> 00:15:31,285
June, shut your eyes.�
I can see they're open.
355
00:15:32,525 --> 00:15:35,405
And we are grateful for our first day
here at My Dick,
356
00:15:35,845 --> 00:15:37,725
and really feel that gratitude,
357
00:15:38,245 --> 00:15:40,885
as we say, "Thank you, Keith."
358
00:15:40,965 --> 00:15:42,685
[all] Thank you, Keith.
359
00:15:42,765 --> 00:15:45,045
-And "Amen."
-Amen.
360
00:15:45,125 --> 00:15:46,205
Eyes open.
361
00:15:47,605 --> 00:15:49,885
So, that will be an end-of-day�
regular thing that we do.
362
00:15:49,965 --> 00:15:51,605
If you could come over a bit sooner,�
please, Marilyn.
363
00:15:51,685 --> 00:15:52,525
Where were you?
364
00:15:52,605 --> 00:15:54,805
-Okay. Finishing off.
-[Keith] All right, everyone.
365
00:15:55,165 --> 00:16:00,725
That will be an end-of-day powwow�
that we'll all do at the end of each day.
366
00:16:00,805 --> 00:16:03,125
Air any grievances, concerns,
367
00:16:03,205 --> 00:16:04,685
anything that may be worrying you.
368
00:16:04,765 --> 00:16:07,125
Patika, t-shirts, please. And...
369
00:16:08,405 --> 00:16:10,765
talk about things that may have come up�
during the day
370
00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:12,045
that may have concerned you.
371
00:16:12,325 --> 00:16:16,405
We have the new staff t-shirts here
that we'll all be wearing.
372
00:16:16,485 --> 00:16:17,885
They're a compulsory t-shirt.
373
00:16:17,965 --> 00:16:19,885
If you could hand those out,�
please, Patika?
374
00:16:20,725 --> 00:16:23,085
We're going with a, a youth slant
375
00:16:23,685 --> 00:16:27,405
to let the mighty customers know�
that we get them.
376
00:16:27,605 --> 00:16:30,525
There's a range of sizes,�
so Patika will hand those out.
377
00:16:31,005 --> 00:16:35,125
And you will be wearing them around�
the store, as I say, a compulsory t-shirt.
378
00:16:35,925 --> 00:16:37,925
I want to talk to you�
about customer service.
379
00:16:38,005 --> 00:16:40,285
I think this is an area�
that we are severely lacking.
380
00:16:40,365 --> 00:16:43,845
It's a little role-play.
Rashish here will be playing the customer.
381
00:16:43,925 --> 00:16:45,845
I will be the, uh, service guy.
382
00:16:45,925 --> 00:16:48,885
So, if you can imagine me�
just seeing the customer into the store.
383
00:16:49,645 --> 00:16:51,645
-Hey, what up? How you going?
-Hi.
384
00:16:51,725 --> 00:16:53,605
Keep it moving, give it energy.
You hear the music.
385
00:16:53,685 --> 00:16:54,765
So, just keep it lively.
386
00:16:54,845 --> 00:16:56,805
What, you up to much this weekend?
387
00:16:56,885 --> 00:16:57,885
No, just with friends.
388
00:16:57,965 --> 00:16:59,165
Yeah, cool. Going out?
389
00:16:59,245 --> 00:17:01,885
I'm going out, too.�
Gonna get spastic on Friday.
390
00:17:01,965 --> 00:17:03,645
Find out what they're here for.
What are you here for?
391
00:17:03,725 --> 00:17:05,005
-What are you gonna buy?
-A top.
392
00:17:05,085 --> 00:17:06,285
Yeah, a top. Here's a top.
393
00:17:06,365 --> 00:17:08,405
Well, this...�
I've actually got this one myself.
394
00:17:08,485 --> 00:17:09,965
So, tell them you've actually got it.
395
00:17:10,045 --> 00:17:12,885
That's only for the...�
That's for the ladies. Obviously.
396
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:15,045
Not for the men.�
So, it's a ladies thing only.
397
00:17:15,125 --> 00:17:16,285
Notice the jewelry.�
398
00:17:16,365 --> 00:17:19,165
I'd die for this pendant, here.
This little elephant.
399
00:17:19,245 --> 00:17:20,285
Yeah, where'd you get that?
400
00:17:20,365 --> 00:17:22,005
-A shop.
-Shop, right. Cool.
401
00:17:22,085 --> 00:17:23,125
Ask some stuff about that.
402
00:17:23,205 --> 00:17:26,885
Eye contact, the whole time.
Maintain the eye contact, like that.
403
00:17:26,965 --> 00:17:28,125
People love eye contact.
404
00:17:28,205 --> 00:17:31,245
So, when you see a customer,�
hone in on the eyes and don't let go.
405
00:17:31,325 --> 00:17:32,525
Make it a little flirty.
406
00:17:32,605 --> 00:17:35,085
If you need to be flirty, just start.
So...
407
00:17:35,725 --> 00:17:38,645
This top could really accentuate
your bust,
408
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:40,325
and make you look less flat.
409
00:17:40,725 --> 00:17:43,925
Yeah, that's an example�
of good customer service.
410
00:17:44,005 --> 00:17:46,645
If you guys can connect with customers�
in that way,
411
00:17:46,725 --> 00:17:47,925
it's gonna lead to...
412
00:17:49,325 --> 00:17:51,205
-More sales.
-Sales, yes, that's right.
413
00:17:51,285 --> 00:17:52,325
[Keith] We got that?
414
00:17:53,965 --> 00:17:56,205
All right, do we have any issues�
from today, at all?
415
00:17:56,285 --> 00:17:58,765
Well, Marilyn and I have a few.
416
00:17:59,205 --> 00:18:01,565
We don't really like these t-shirts.
417
00:18:01,645 --> 00:18:04,005
Keith likes them,�
and Keith says that's a non-negotiable.
418
00:18:04,325 --> 00:18:06,965
-And I think the music's too loud.
-Not for young people.
419
00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:09,245
Well, we don't have�
any young people here yet.
420
00:18:09,325 --> 00:18:10,325
"Yet."
421
00:18:10,485 --> 00:18:13,485
And the perfume spray as you come in�
the door is just a little bit too much.
422
00:18:13,765 --> 00:18:15,805
-Another non-negotiable.
-Oh, come on, Keith.
423
00:18:15,885 --> 00:18:17,725
You asked for our opinion.�
Don't be so stubborn!
424
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:20,045
Oh, deep breaths, Marilyn.�
Go pop a Valium.
425
00:18:20,125 --> 00:18:21,045
No judgment.
426
00:18:21,125 --> 00:18:23,245
And I had someone come today,�
not at all happy,
427
00:18:23,325 --> 00:18:25,765
because you were peering over�
the change room door.
428
00:18:25,845 --> 00:18:28,085
Because she wouldn't come out and show me
what she was wearing,
429
00:18:28,165 --> 00:18:29,765
and I wanted to say something encouraging.
430
00:18:29,845 --> 00:18:32,085
But it's just not right!
You can't do that to people.
431
00:18:32,205 --> 00:18:33,645
[chatters mockingly] "Just not right."
432
00:18:33,725 --> 00:18:35,805
Congratulations, everyone.
Everyone get up.
433
00:18:36,285 --> 00:18:37,645
Hands in the middle.
434
00:18:37,925 --> 00:18:40,005
We're gonna do a power huddle
as we say...
435
00:18:41,045 --> 00:18:42,605
[all chanting] My Dick, My Dick, My Dick,
436
00:18:42,685 --> 00:18:44,925
My Dick, My Dick, My Dick, My Dick...
437
00:18:45,005 --> 00:18:47,805
[chanting continues]
438
00:18:48,165 --> 00:18:50,405
Yes! That's it, everyone!
439
00:18:50,485 --> 00:18:52,485
[crowd chattering]
440
00:18:58,605 --> 00:19:00,485
[Rhonda] So, Joyce's neighbors have�
taken it up a notch
441
00:19:00,565 --> 00:19:03,005
and signed a petition�
to have all the rubbish removed.
442
00:19:03,085 --> 00:19:05,245
A bloody petition? Good on ya.
443
00:19:05,765 --> 00:19:07,845
And there's a street party going on�
out front.
444
00:19:08,045 --> 00:19:09,805
-Joyce is not going.�
-As if.
445
00:19:10,085 --> 00:19:12,445
As if I'd go. No, thanks.
446
00:19:13,725 --> 00:19:14,805
[Joyce] I'm still doing�
what I normally do.
447
00:19:14,885 --> 00:19:17,245
Like, I'll be out front,
doing some yoga and stuff.
448
00:19:18,045 --> 00:19:19,565
What are you staring at?
449
00:19:20,125 --> 00:19:22,525
Stop staring at me, you losers.
450
00:19:23,045 --> 00:19:24,605
[Joyce] I busk out the front, sometimes.
451
00:19:24,685 --> 00:19:25,885
Like, I'm still doing that.
452
00:19:26,085 --> 00:19:27,765
Like, I don't
give a stuff that their party's on.
453
00:19:28,445 --> 00:19:30,845
[Joyce] If you're listening, then pay up!
This isn't a free show.
454
00:19:32,765 --> 00:19:34,285
Put some money in the hat.
455
00:19:34,605 --> 00:19:36,965
I'm not performing for free.
456
00:19:37,405 --> 00:19:40,365
All right, laxative going in.
457
00:19:42,045 --> 00:19:44,125
That should teach them�
for signing a petition.
458
00:19:44,365 --> 00:19:46,725
[Joyce] Lemonade! Lemonade!
459
00:19:46,845 --> 00:19:48,885
There's nothing wrong with it.�
It's perfectly fine,
460
00:19:49,045 --> 00:19:49,925
-[Joyce] Two dollars a cup.
-[woman shouts]
461
00:19:50,005 --> 00:19:51,285
Come on, girls. Come on over.
462
00:19:51,925 --> 00:19:53,245
Oh, it's a free country.
463
00:19:53,325 --> 00:19:55,765
Stop bloody helicopter-parenting�
your kids.
464
00:19:55,845 --> 00:19:56,845
Loser.
465
00:19:57,405 --> 00:20:00,045
Last time they had a petition,�
it was for your beehives, remember?
466
00:20:00,125 --> 00:20:03,645
Oh, yeah, I had ten beehives�
out on the nature strip,
467
00:20:03,725 --> 00:20:06,405
and, allegedly,�
they were stinging children.
468
00:20:06,485 --> 00:20:09,285
The kid was allergic, and went into�
anaphylactic shock and nearly died.
469
00:20:09,365 --> 00:20:11,845
Yeah, but they had the adrenaline syringe�
on him. He was fine.
470
00:20:12,125 --> 00:20:13,125
Oi, neighbors!
471
00:20:13,685 --> 00:20:16,405
Sorry, I'm just crossing�
the property boundary line.
472
00:20:16,925 --> 00:20:18,325
Whose is this? Whose fence?
473
00:20:19,125 --> 00:20:22,245
Sorry, neighbors. Sorry, sorry.
474
00:20:22,885 --> 00:20:24,165
-What are you kids looking at?
-[woman shouts]
475
00:20:24,245 --> 00:20:25,605
[Joyce] Just staring at me, are you?
476
00:20:25,685 --> 00:20:27,525
Oh, rack off, you dumb moll.
477
00:20:29,325 --> 00:20:31,725
Neighbors!
This is what I think of your petition.
478
00:20:31,885 --> 00:20:33,205
Rack off!
479
00:20:36,005 --> 00:20:36,845
Did you get that?
480
00:20:37,285 --> 00:20:39,525
That'll bloody teach them,�
the ruddy deadshits.
481
00:20:40,525 --> 00:20:41,645
[animal noises]
482
00:20:41,885 --> 00:20:43,565
What should we do after this?
483
00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:46,805
Come on, boys. You're late!
484
00:20:47,325 --> 00:20:51,205
[Helen] Gavin's a really sweet boy,�
but he's been getting up to some nonsense.
485
00:20:51,285 --> 00:20:53,725
Um, I had a call from a neighbor...
486
00:20:53,845 --> 00:20:55,965
to say that he'd been quite rude�
to a little boy
487
00:20:56,045 --> 00:20:57,325
who lives down the road from us.
488
00:20:57,405 --> 00:20:59,285
And, of course, that's not on.
489
00:20:59,725 --> 00:21:02,005
[Helen] Gavin, what are you wearing?
490
00:21:02,285 --> 00:21:04,245
Couldn't find my Pikachu trackies.
491
00:21:04,325 --> 00:21:07,205
So, it's a top, but it works as a bottom.
492
00:21:08,325 --> 00:21:10,765
-Okay, come inside, please.
-[Gavin] Move, duck.
493
00:21:11,445 --> 00:21:12,445
You dumb-ass.
494
00:21:12,525 --> 00:21:14,645
[Helen] I just think he needs�
to be occupied.
495
00:21:14,725 --> 00:21:16,205
Come on, now, boys.
496
00:21:17,165 --> 00:21:19,845
I gave you the responsibility�
of looking after the animals,
497
00:21:19,925 --> 00:21:22,205
and you haven't been doing it at all,�
have you?
498
00:21:22,285 --> 00:21:25,765
You've got to feed them�
and do everything for them, all right?
499
00:21:26,365 --> 00:21:27,765
And I'd like you two to have a wee think
500
00:21:27,845 --> 00:21:29,565
about what you're going to say�
to our guests
501
00:21:29,645 --> 00:21:31,285
when they come for their little tour.
502
00:21:31,605 --> 00:21:32,445
All right?
503
00:21:33,165 --> 00:21:35,245
-Okay.
-[Helen] Okay, I'll leave you to it, then.
504
00:21:36,485 --> 00:21:37,965
Oi, piggies.
505
00:21:39,005 --> 00:21:40,605
Piggies, come here.
506
00:21:40,685 --> 00:21:43,005
Come here, you dumb cunts. Come here.
507
00:21:43,085 --> 00:21:44,285
Which one's The D?
508
00:21:45,005 --> 00:21:46,525
Oink if you're The D.
509
00:21:46,605 --> 00:21:48,725
So, what should we do�
for the tours thing?
510
00:21:49,645 --> 00:21:51,285
Uh, I don't know.
511
00:21:51,365 --> 00:21:56,205
What if we made a sleigh, put the�
pigs on it, and made them drive us?
512
00:21:56,445 --> 00:21:57,565
Yeah.
513
00:21:57,645 --> 00:21:59,245
-You want to be sleigh cunts?
-[pig oinks]
514
00:21:59,325 --> 00:22:01,405
-Come here.
-Come here, you little bastard.
515
00:22:01,605 --> 00:22:02,485
Come here.
516
00:22:03,485 --> 00:22:05,445
Let's check out the other animals.
517
00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:08,085
-[Gavin] Do ducks have dicks?
-[Dylan] I don't know.
518
00:22:08,685 --> 00:22:09,805
[ducks quacking]
519
00:22:10,045 --> 00:22:11,045
No.
520
00:22:11,365 --> 00:22:14,405
[Gavin] What are these little fuckers?
Are these ferrets?
521
00:22:14,845 --> 00:22:17,885
-[Dylan] Guinea pigs.
-[Gavin] Oi, what about this idea?
522
00:22:18,245 --> 00:22:21,325
Release 'em in a hole, in the field,
523
00:22:21,685 --> 00:22:24,405
and then they'll breed�
and there'll be heaps of them.
524
00:22:25,005 --> 00:22:27,005
That's what I'm gonna do if I'm the earl.
525
00:22:27,485 --> 00:22:30,645
[Gavin] Release them and shoot them,
like go hunting for them.
526
00:22:33,045 --> 00:22:34,845
Come here, you dickheads.
527
00:22:35,325 --> 00:22:36,565
Come to daddy.
528
00:22:36,645 --> 00:22:37,805
[pig oinking]
529
00:22:37,925 --> 00:22:38,965
I'm bored.
530
00:22:40,965 --> 00:22:42,005
[laughter]
531
00:22:42,365 --> 00:22:43,685
All right, how are we gonna do this?
532
00:22:44,845 --> 00:22:47,525
[boy] Let's shove it in real...�
real, deep in there.
533
00:22:47,605 --> 00:22:49,605
[all laughing]
534
00:22:50,525 --> 00:22:51,885
How funny is that?
535
00:22:51,965 --> 00:22:53,085
All right, let's glue it in.
536
00:22:53,525 --> 00:22:56,525
Hey, Beckinators! I've just finished class
and I wanted to show you guys
537
00:22:56,605 --> 00:22:58,285
a little bit of freshman life.
538
00:22:58,405 --> 00:23:00,365
So, this is where I live.�
This is Willow Hall.
539
00:23:00,445 --> 00:23:03,085
I'm just heading back inside
to see my dorm buddies.
540
00:23:03,485 --> 00:23:04,485
Yeah!
541
00:23:04,565 --> 00:23:06,045
Hey, bro. You like that?
542
00:23:06,125 --> 00:23:07,365
[laughing]
543
00:23:07,445 --> 00:23:09,045
She's coming, she's coming.�
I just saw her walk in.
544
00:23:09,125 --> 00:23:10,445
[Jack] I'll put it in her room.
545
00:23:11,245 --> 00:23:12,525
[boys laugh]
546
00:23:18,605 --> 00:23:20,445
[vibrating]
547
00:23:20,645 --> 00:23:22,405
So, these are all the dorm rooms.
548
00:23:22,485 --> 00:23:26,085
This is the girls' wing,�
and this is the common room.
549
00:23:26,165 --> 00:23:28,325
Say hi, everyone. Say hi.
550
00:23:28,405 --> 00:23:30,205
Hey, Becky. How are you doing?
551
00:23:30,285 --> 00:23:32,845
Yeah, good. Just having a happy Tuesday.
552
00:23:33,325 --> 00:23:34,165
[Becky] How are you?
553
00:23:34,245 --> 00:23:35,805
You noticed I cleaned up�
the bottles, right?
554
00:23:35,885 --> 00:23:38,485
Oh, yeah, it looks really nice.�
It's a lot neater.
555
00:23:38,565 --> 00:23:41,605
So, I don't know how�
to tell you this, but...
556
00:23:42,085 --> 00:23:44,485
[Jack] Let's just say�
we found something of yours. [laughs]
557
00:23:44,605 --> 00:23:45,725
What?
558
00:23:47,005 --> 00:23:50,805
I would describe it as a device�
used for female self-pleasure.
559
00:23:50,885 --> 00:23:52,325
[kids laugh]
560
00:23:52,645 --> 00:23:53,845
That's not mine.
561
00:23:53,925 --> 00:23:56,005
Why don't you go check your room�
and find out? [laughs]
562
00:23:57,725 --> 00:23:58,805
There she goes.
563
00:24:02,965 --> 00:24:04,645
[sobbing] Oh, no!
564
00:24:04,725 --> 00:24:06,125
No!
565
00:24:06,205 --> 00:24:07,525
[Jack whispers] It's still vibrating.
566
00:24:08,885 --> 00:24:10,845
-Why did you do this?
-[Jack] There she is.
567
00:24:10,925 --> 00:24:13,045
-[Jack] Oh, my God.
-Get it out!
568
00:24:13,125 --> 00:24:15,365
Relax! It's just a joke.
569
00:24:15,445 --> 00:24:17,565
-Get it out!
-[Jack] Whoa!
570
00:24:17,645 --> 00:24:20,605
-Chill the fuck out, bitch.
-[shouts] I hate you!
571
00:24:20,685 --> 00:24:22,525
Hey, guess what.�
Maybe you'll think about it next time
572
00:24:22,605 --> 00:24:24,445
before you tell the fucking RA.
573
00:24:24,725 --> 00:24:26,205
Fucking snitch.
574
00:24:28,645 --> 00:24:30,725
-Oh, my God.
-Is she gone?
575
00:24:30,805 --> 00:24:32,845
-[boy 1] Yeah, she's running away.
-[boy 2] She just ducked the doorway.
576
00:24:32,965 --> 00:24:34,045
[boys laugh]
577
00:24:34,725 --> 00:24:36,725
[Becky sobs loudly]
578
00:24:38,045 --> 00:24:39,765
[sobbing]
579
00:24:40,645 --> 00:24:41,965
Oh, shit!
580
00:24:43,125 --> 00:24:45,485
Okay, whoa. It's okay.
581
00:24:45,565 --> 00:24:48,165
-It's all right.
-Who turned the fan on?
582
00:24:48,245 --> 00:24:50,365
[Aaron] It's all right.�
We'll figure it out, all right?
583
00:24:51,165 --> 00:24:53,245
[sobbing] I hate everyone in this school!
584
00:24:53,325 --> 00:24:54,845
I want to go home!
585
00:24:54,925 --> 00:24:56,725
Okay, all right. All right.
586
00:24:56,805 --> 00:24:58,645
Why were you running so fast, silly?
587
00:24:58,725 --> 00:25:00,285
I'm not silly!
588
00:25:00,925 --> 00:25:02,925
Oh, God.
589
00:25:03,645 --> 00:25:05,045
[panting, sobbing]
590
00:25:05,565 --> 00:25:06,765
It's coming. It's coming.
591
00:25:08,085 --> 00:25:10,085
[traffic noise]
592
00:25:13,165 --> 00:25:14,965
[fan rattling]
593
00:25:15,245 --> 00:25:16,485
[Keith] Oh, see you later, Alan.
594
00:25:16,925 --> 00:25:17,765
Yes.
595
00:25:19,005 --> 00:25:20,765
[Keith] See you, Freya and Conor.�
Well done, today.
596
00:25:20,845 --> 00:25:22,325
-[Freya] Bye.
-[Keith] Excellent job.
597
00:25:23,965 --> 00:25:26,845
-[Keith] And I'll see you two at home.
-[Patika] See you at home. Bye.
598
00:25:26,925 --> 00:25:28,525
Yes. Love you, darling.
599
00:25:28,605 --> 00:25:29,605
Give us a...
600
00:25:29,765 --> 00:25:30,645
Bye.
601
00:25:31,365 --> 00:25:32,805
-[Marilyn] Bye, Keith.
-[Keith] Cheerio, love.
602
00:25:32,885 --> 00:25:34,085
Fantastic work today.
603
00:25:34,165 --> 00:25:35,805
You're worth your weight in gold.
604
00:25:35,885 --> 00:25:37,085
Oh, thanks. Appreciate it.
605
00:25:37,165 --> 00:25:39,045
-Very well managed.
-You're leaving?
606
00:25:39,365 --> 00:25:40,405
No, I'm staying back.
607
00:25:40,485 --> 00:25:42,885
I'm just gonna do some sewing work
out in the design studio.
608
00:25:42,965 --> 00:25:44,165
Oh, okay. Righty-o.
609
00:25:44,325 --> 00:25:46,085
-Catch you later.
-Okay, bye.
610
00:26:39,565 --> 00:26:40,405
[unzipping]
611
00:26:55,165 --> 00:26:57,685
[rhythmic sucking sound]
612
00:27:03,125 --> 00:27:05,125
[sucking sound continues]
613
00:27:09,325 --> 00:27:11,485
[sound stops]
614
00:27:21,565 --> 00:27:24,525
[Joyce] I had a visit�
from the lovely antiques man, Rhys,
615
00:27:24,725 --> 00:27:26,925
and I told him all about the petition.
616
00:27:27,005 --> 00:27:29,605
-Thanks, Rhys. Pop those over.
-[Rhys laughs]
617
00:27:30,485 --> 00:27:32,765
[Joyce] And he's helped take�
all the rubbish away,
618
00:27:32,845 --> 00:27:34,045
which is so nice of him.
619
00:27:35,125 --> 00:27:38,085
So, I put a scrunchie�
on every second fence piling,
620
00:27:38,165 --> 00:27:39,565
just to piss the neighbors off.
621
00:27:40,205 --> 00:27:43,445
I said I'll get rid of the rubbish,�
but the scrunchies stay.
622
00:27:44,085 --> 00:27:48,165
And these are my scarecrows,
to keep the nasty neighbors away.
623
00:27:48,365 --> 00:27:50,405
As you can see, they look quite good.
624
00:27:51,205 --> 00:27:54,445
-Five-hundred dollars.
-I've never seen so much money in my life.
625
00:27:54,525 --> 00:27:56,805
I know, but you're not going to miss
any of this stuff, hon.
626
00:27:56,885 --> 00:27:59,685
I'll miss it.�
I'm gonna miss it, of course I will.
627
00:27:59,765 --> 00:28:02,605
But just one more time, Joyce.
Have you thought of selling--
628
00:28:02,685 --> 00:28:05,485
[Joyce] No. No, put that back.�
Put the teddy back.
629
00:28:05,565 --> 00:28:07,645
I'm not selling the bear. That's my dad's.
630
00:28:08,365 --> 00:28:09,645
-Okay.
-[Joyce] The bear stays.
631
00:28:09,725 --> 00:28:11,725
-She'll never get rid of that bear.
-Can't blame me for trying.
632
00:28:11,805 --> 00:28:13,405
I will never part with the bear.
633
00:28:14,245 --> 00:28:15,165
End of story.
634
00:28:16,845 --> 00:28:19,365
-[Joyce] It's been good having you here.
-[Rhys] It's been a pleasure, Joyce.
635
00:28:19,445 --> 00:28:20,325
[Rhys] It's been a pleasure.
636
00:28:20,685 --> 00:28:22,365
[Joyce] Bless you. Bye, rubbish.
637
00:28:22,925 --> 00:28:24,685
Oh, you're going to a better place.
638
00:28:24,765 --> 00:28:26,125
I'll miss you all.
639
00:28:27,925 --> 00:28:29,645
[Rhys] Glad I popped in, you lovely ladies.
640
00:28:30,005 --> 00:28:32,565
You're a very, very, very nice man.
641
00:28:33,445 --> 00:28:35,165
-[Joyce] Goodbye!
-[Rhys] Bye! Thanks!
642
00:28:35,245 --> 00:28:37,725
Adieu! To you and you and you!
643
00:28:38,925 --> 00:28:40,365
Oh, God, I love him.
644
00:28:42,125 --> 00:28:43,005
I love him.
645
00:28:44,765 --> 00:28:46,685
-Hey, mate.
-What?
646
00:28:47,565 --> 00:28:49,885
My auntie said we have to be friends.
647
00:28:49,965 --> 00:28:52,125
[boy] Yeah, my dad said the same.
648
00:28:53,485 --> 00:28:55,245
So do you want to, like, have a gang?
649
00:28:55,325 --> 00:28:56,685
Like, us three in a gang?
650
00:28:57,365 --> 00:28:59,285
Yeah. What should we call ourselves?
651
00:29:00,925 --> 00:29:02,845
I'm thinking "The Pussy Slayers"?
652
00:29:06,725 --> 00:29:08,245
What about "The Rad Cunts."
653
00:29:09,965 --> 00:29:10,805
[Gavin] Mm.
654
00:29:11,125 --> 00:29:12,365
"The Skitz Clits"?
655
00:29:13,045 --> 00:29:15,005
No, that's a bit weird.
656
00:29:17,965 --> 00:29:21,085
What about "The Frothers"?
'Cause we're always frothing over chicks.
657
00:29:21,605 --> 00:29:23,725
-Yeah.
-Yeah, that's okay.
658
00:29:23,805 --> 00:29:26,645
All right, us three are officially�
"The Frothers."
659
00:29:26,725 --> 00:29:27,645
Let's go.
660
00:29:28,805 --> 00:29:30,605
-[Gavin] What's your name?
-[boy] Oscar.
661
00:29:30,685 --> 00:29:31,845
[Dylan] I'm Dylan.
662
00:29:31,925 --> 00:29:34,005
-[Gavin] How old?
-[Oscar] Thirteen.
663
00:29:34,685 --> 00:29:37,765
[Gavin] Mm. I'm Gavin. I'm 13, too.
664
00:29:38,285 --> 00:29:40,445
Well, I'm 13 in three months.
665
00:29:40,765 --> 00:29:43,125
-[Oscar] So, you're 12.
-[Gavin] Yeah, boi.
666
00:29:44,045 --> 00:29:46,845
Who wants this one?
Put him in the jumper.
667
00:29:48,325 --> 00:29:50,325
-Hold him.
-Careful.
668
00:29:52,805 --> 00:29:54,205
All right, you want this one, too?
669
00:29:54,285 --> 00:29:56,445
-Oh, yeah, sure.
-Hold him in your jumper.
670
00:29:56,845 --> 00:29:58,325
[Gavin] Don't trip over.
671
00:29:58,405 --> 00:29:59,725
-[Dylan] No.
-[Oscar] I won't.
672
00:30:00,925 --> 00:30:03,045
[Gavin] Move, chickens! Dickheads.
673
00:30:04,125 --> 00:30:05,525
Where should we release them?
674
00:30:06,565 --> 00:30:08,445
-[Dylan] In here.
-[Gavin] Yeah.
675
00:30:08,925 --> 00:30:10,685
[Gavin] Okay. Just here?
676
00:30:11,965 --> 00:30:14,885
Okay, here we go, guinea pigs.
677
00:30:15,125 --> 00:30:16,285
[guinea pig squeaking]
678
00:30:16,485 --> 00:30:17,645
[Gavin] Freedom.
679
00:30:19,045 --> 00:30:22,245
-[Gavin] You're free, guys.�
-[Oscar] Enjoy your new life.
680
00:30:23,005 --> 00:30:25,365
-[Gavin] What do they even eat?
-[Oscar] Grass.
681
00:30:27,645 --> 00:30:29,805
-I thought they ate worms.
-What?
682
00:30:29,885 --> 00:30:31,525
Go, guys! You're free!
683
00:30:31,765 --> 00:30:32,645
Dumb-ass.
684
00:30:33,925 --> 00:30:35,485
[Gavin] Bye, guinea pigs!
685
00:30:36,285 --> 00:30:39,805
Have sex with each other and I'm gonna
come back and shoot your babies.
686
00:30:40,565 --> 00:30:42,205
[Gavin] All right, are you filming me?
687
00:30:42,285 --> 00:30:44,525
-Yeah.
-All right, start.
688
00:30:45,045 --> 00:30:47,045
This is "The Fuck Song."
689
00:30:47,125 --> 00:30:48,085
Okay.
690
00:30:50,565 --> 00:30:52,565
[punk music starts]
691
00:30:53,885 --> 00:30:57,245
♪ If you wanna fuck
Let's fuck fuck fuck ♪
692
00:30:57,325 --> 00:31:00,485
♪ If you wanna fuck
Let's fuck fuck fuck ♪
693
00:31:00,765 --> 00:31:03,725
♪ Fuck me to the left
And fuck me to the right ♪
694
00:31:04,165 --> 00:31:07,165
♪ Fuck the Broadway lights ♪
695
00:31:07,565 --> 00:31:09,485
♪ If you wanna fuck�
Let's-- ♪
696
00:31:09,565 --> 00:31:11,005
[Dylan] Fuck! It's Mom.
697
00:31:11,645 --> 00:31:12,525
[music stops]
698
00:31:12,685 --> 00:31:14,765
Hello, Oscar. Hello, boys!
699
00:31:14,845 --> 00:31:15,925
-[Dylan] Hi, Mom.
-Hi, Auntie Helen.
700
00:31:16,005 --> 00:31:17,005
Having fun with the animals?
701
00:31:17,605 --> 00:31:19,565
-[Dylan] Yes.
-Yeah?
702
00:31:19,645 --> 00:31:21,805
-They're lovely, aren't they?
-Yeah.
703
00:31:22,165 --> 00:31:24,565
-Nah, you all right, Auntie Helen?
-All right.
704
00:31:25,205 --> 00:31:26,205
[Helen] Okay, I'll leave you to it, then.
705
00:31:26,685 --> 00:31:28,565
-[Dylan] Bye, Mom.
-[Gavin] See you, Auntie Helen.
706
00:31:29,925 --> 00:31:32,285
Okay, start filming again. Ready?
707
00:31:32,685 --> 00:31:34,085
-Action.
-Wait, no.
708
00:31:34,365 --> 00:31:35,405
-Okay.
-[car engine starts]
709
00:31:39,405 --> 00:31:42,645
♪ If you wanna fuck
Let's fuck fuck fuck ♪
710
00:31:42,725 --> 00:31:45,845
♪ If you wanna fuck
Let's fuck fuck fuck ♪
711
00:31:46,325 --> 00:31:49,245
♪ Fuck me to the left
And fuck me to the right ♪
712
00:31:49,725 --> 00:31:52,725
♪ Fuck the Broadway lights ♪
713
00:31:53,165 --> 00:31:55,925
♪ If you wanna fuck
Let's fuck fuck fuck ♪
714
00:31:56,525 --> 00:31:59,405
♪ If you wanna fuck
Let's fuck fuck fuck ♪
715
00:32:00,045 --> 00:32:02,325
♪ Fuck! ♪
716
00:32:06,485 --> 00:32:08,485
[theme music playing]
717
00:32:08,535 --> 00:32:13,085
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