Original subtitles

[music blares inside car]

Dad, get some pics.

[Quentin] Get my whip in.

[breathing heavily]

-[Quentin] Can you see the car? -Yep.

Ta.

Oh, that's actually good.

-This is Harrison, the young kid... -Hi. How are ya?

-You not bad, then? Oh, yeah? -Dusty myself. I was cooked last night.

Yeah. You go out, or--

No, not last night.

-Yeah, cool. How old are ya? -I'm 19, so.

Alright.

Yeah, that's my car.

[Quentin] So, I'm turning 30 next week, so Dad started the transition

of handing over the CEO role to me.

Who wrote this?

"Heaps of natural light and a kitchen to delight.

This house is so dope when you see it you won't cope"?

Yeah, people like rhymes.

-Who writes your copy? -I write my own copy. You know that.

Our client's not gonna like that.

You know, you gotta run those things past us, mate, as a family. You're still--

What, so when I'm CEO, you want me to fucking go visit you in a bloody

-nursing home and ask you� -No. You're not CEO yet.

-what to put on the sign. -You're not CEO yet, mate.

-You've still got two weeks to go. -Don't show off in front of him.

[Quentin] Usually it's just me and Dad� on the job,

but he's hired this new junior assistant

to be my off-siter.

His name's Harrison. He's this 19-year-old bloke.

He seems like a bit of a weirdo.

[Quentin] Right, just let me� do the talking

when we get in there.

-Rob, how are you, mate? Beth. -[Rob] Hey, Quentin. How are you?

[Quentin] Let's get on with this.

-And is it-- Harrison. -My name's Harrison. Yeah.

This is a really lovely place you've got here.

-Really nicely done-up. Is it all you? -Yes, it's all me.

Little Harry just started today, so he's new to the game.

So, I'll be your main contact.

-Harry? -Well, it is Harrison.

Yeah, it's whatevs, though. I'll be the one looking after them.

It's about getting the place on-point, looking good,

so things like these frames, these are a bit kind of early noughties,

that stuff needs to go.

No one wants to see that.

This kind of thing, that's too fussy. Get rid of it.

So, sale price, we're still keen on the 1.2 mil mark, are we?

I thought it was 2.2.

Brian said we quoted for 2.2.

-Yeah, definitely 2.2. -No, I've got a... 1...

Oh, shit, no. My two is a one, yes.

2.2 mil. Yes, that is the price. Cool.

He's definitely gonna need some training.

He's a little too cocky for my liking at this stage.

In fact, I'll get you to get a scented candle for here,

just to get rid of that funky smell over here.

Whatever that odor is.

Well, I like this Oriental piece you got there.

This is nice, too. Is that a fiddle leaf fig, is it?

Oh, shit. Sorry.

Yep, that should be in the middle of the table for Wednesday's inspection.

You don't want people knocking that over.

These are lovely, Rob. Is that Western Red Cedar, is it?

-Actually, looks like jarrah, Quentin. -[man] Yeah. Jarrah.

-Don't correct me, mate. -Sorry.

[theme music playing]

[Jana humming]

[dog panting]

Let your negative thoughts be gone.

You have nothing to worry about.

You are in control of your own life.

He's telling me that he thinks the cat will kill him during the night.

-What's the cat's name? -Pooples.

Pooples will not kill you, darling.

If anything, Pooples, you could kill Pooples yourself. You're a huge dog.

[Jana] Being a pet psychic to the stars� is a multi-faceted job.

Put simply, the pets hear me, and I hear them.

[Jana] The channels of communication are wide open.

Put the pen in my hand, please, Kylie.

[Jana] My pen work� is a visual representation

of the telepathic messages coming from the pet.

She's telling me she has issues with her tail.

She doesn't like the way that it looks.

OK.

Now, do you pet your cat and then go onto the tail like that?

-Yeah. -Don't do it. Don't do that.

You're drawing attention to her insecurities.

In her mind, this tail is hideous.

When I address the tail, you will see the head goes in like this.

That is her embarrassment.

If a cat could blush, she would be blushing right now.

All of us, don't look at the tail.

And the head comes out.

Smile, darling.

Smile for Jana.

Now, what this can do is it increases the serotonin uptake

and help her depression vastly, so.

And I'll get you to do this every day for an hour, at least.

We'll just try ten minutes now.

Jana can feel your sadness, Coco.

This will make you happier, darling.

Don't cry, darling.

I do a lot of Reiki and body sweep work on pets,

removing energy blocks and emotional clearing work.

It's very healing.

I'm going to do something now�

where I talk to Juju in a language that only he can understand.

[babbles]

[babbling continues]

Now, what I'm going to ask you to do is to faint in front of Coco,

because what Coco is telling me is that she thinks that if you may collapse,

she may not be able to revive you,

and she will starve and die.

OK, Coco, looking at your owner and...

Faint.

Oh, my God! Your owner's just died!

She died!

Darling, why are you not more worried? Your owner is dead.

[dog whines]

So, Nancy and Tanya were lovers? Yes.

[Jana] I also do medium work.

I talk to pets that may have passed over.

Alright, Nancy, Tanya wants me to tell you

that she's very happy that she passed when she did.

OK, I'm losing her. I need some body contact.

Body contact, please.

[Jana] Sometimes the medium work� can drain me of energy

and human contact can act as a recharge.

Kylie is integral to my readings.

So, I'm losing her again. Give me some more.

Squeeze me hard. Squeeze me hard.

OK.

Now, she's telling me that she thinks her nose looks like a penis.

And she knows that you think that, too sometimes.

Now, I want you to touch only from the neck down.

Just along the back, the bottom,

stay away from her dick nose for at least a month. OK?

Yes, hello.

[Jana] I also do readings remotely.

I just need a photo on my computer.

Do you call him "My Llama"? Yes, you do. OK.

He wants you to know that he's an alpaca.

Jana wants you to stick your head out as far as it can go.

Keep your turtle head out of your shell, Thelma. Keep it out.

[Jana] But nothing beats the intimacy of a home reading.

My clients' pets are always on my mind.

It's a 24/7 job.

Good night, Lilly.

Good night, Simon.

Time heals every wound, Susan. Good night.

Jana understands, darling. Jana understands.

Thing is, this mansion is hella scary at night.

Like, normally I'm no fucks given,

but this place, look at it. It's like fuck level scary.

I keep thinking some zombie cunt's gonna walk in low-key

wearing armor or some shit.

I made my cousin Dylan sleep in the room with me to make it less scary,

-but still it's ballsack scary. -Dylan. Cunt.

Like last night, I lost all chill.

Shit cunt! What was that?

And the toilet is, like, 50 million meters from here,

so, 'cause I drink one of these per night,

I have to piss, like, four to five times.

Or if I'm laying cable,

it's too far to walk,

and I literally cannot deal.

[Gavin] The other night,

I accidentally went into... my cousin Clementine's room

and I accidentally pissed in her antique's vase

'cause I thought it was the toilet.

And then I got in bed with her because I thought it was my bed,

and then she goes ballistic and, like, screams so loud

-that wakes up my auntie and uncle. -[Clementine screams]

[Clementine] Gavin!

Get out, Gavin!

[Gavin] Chill, bitch.

Get out! Get out! Get out!

This whole mansion is freezing as clit at night.

So, if I want a midnight snack,

I've been wearing my auntie's shoes

'cause I don't want my feet to freeze their dicks off.

My auntie's getting all mad saying I can't wear her shoes,

but she's asleep, she's not even wearing them.

And my uncle got hella mad at me because...

the other night I got a stiffy, right? and I couldn't get it down,

and I needed to piss,

so I just pissed in the bathtub.

What do you want me to do? Go outside and make a fountain?

Hell, no.

Liz, come in. Victor Charlie, Charlie.

It's Joyce.

[radio static]

Come in, Liz.

Are you there? Do you read me?

Come in.

[static]

Buggeration. I bloody--

I had him on here this morning before you lot were here.

It's my boyfriend, Les. He's a truck driver.

He's always on the road, but he comes in at lunchtime,

and we chat all the time on the radio.

I don't think I've seen the guy for a couple months, or maybe years,

but we do talk a lot.

Yeah, he's another collector, too.

Yeah, I met him at a sale of ours.

We're gonna run the museum together, the two of us.

Hm. I'll try again. It's Joyce. Do you read me?

[Joyce] Victor Charlie, Charlie Foxtrot. Do you read me?

You're five minutes early.

[Rhonda] Oh, hun, we had such a good--�

-[Rhonda] And no cigar again. -[Joyce] Bye, Bill.

Hugs, hugs, hugs!

[Rhonda] Well, I'm here nearly every day. Neither of us work.

When we're not shopping for the collection,

we're here pretty much doing, well, God knows what.

I think they say, "Time flies when you're best friends."

Oh, yeah.

Come on, get up.

[music playing]

[Joyce] We just know how to have� a good time.

Hi, moll.

Hi, moll.

Hi, moll.

[Joyce] I like to make up songs� around the house,

just make up my own words.

♪ Get off the couch, you lazy moll ♪

[Rhonda] And they're really catchy, too. I find myself just singing along.

I don't even mean to.

♪ Get off the couch, you lazy moll ♪

OK. Here she comes.

[Rhonda] Oh, and then,� we have Princess Diana Day.

Now, that's once a month.

Lady Di's in the house!

Lady Di is here. How are you?

Where's Elton John?

I don't even care about Prince Charles.

He can do whatever.

Where's Cocky?

[Joyce] What about Where's Cocky? I could play Where's Cocky all day.

[Joyce] Oh, he's taking off!

Oh, run! He's got beer!

Look at that! He's got a bloody beer!

Wanna pat Cocky?

[barks]

-Where's Cocky? -[Joyce] I even like playing it by myself.

Where's Cocky? There's Cocky!

Oh, yeah, she's a bit of a worrier, our Joycey.

Always worrying about something.

[Rhonda] Only yesterday� she was upset about

some clothes she hadn't worn for a year.

[sobbing] Why didn't I wear you?

You just sat in my cupboard!

I do worry.

I worry about silly things like

door ha-- I was telling you about that door handle.

Yeah.

I worry that I might come in at night

and I might trip over, and this might slip into my mouth.

Like that, and just rip the side of my cheek off.

Like, that could happen, and then I'd just have no cheek.

This is my secrecy wall that me and my dad built,

so I can spy on my toys.

Here's all my toys here.

'Cause if you watch your toys and they don't think you're looking,

then you can catch them doing things.

[whispers] Sit here.

Sit. Shhh.

[softly] It’s a turtle. Look at the unicorn and the tiger.

I just love them more than you'll ever know.

I love them so much!

Did Snoopy move?

[Joyce whispers] I just--� Snoopy's paw moved!

Snoopy's paw! I guarantee you! Did you see Snoopy’s paw just move?

His back leg was...

Oh, my God, that was mental!

[Quentin] You into Burning Man at all?

It's this lit festival it's fucking life-changing, mate.

I go fuckin' loose at festivals, and Burning Man is dusty as fuck.

There's, like, chicks with their tits out

and, like fucking-- They'll just come up to you and like--

-Oh, jeez. -So good, mate.

Right, I haven't been, but yeah, so--

I'm keen to go, like next year or some shit.

Yeah. That's cool, man.

I've got this app in development at the moment,

it's this augmented reality app,

-it's a bitch to get up. -Sounds interesting.

It's fucking hard to explain. You wouldn't get it, but, yeah.

Chuck some music on.

-It's boring as shit in here. -Yeah? That's fine.

-Show us what you got. -Yeah, alright.

Gimme some of your tunes.

And this microbrewery, as well, me and a mate are opening up.

it's like a night club/microbrewery.

-Dude, EDM! I fucking love this shit! -Do ya?

This is a good track. I've heard this before. Who's the artist?

This is actually my stuff.

-Yeah, this is me. -Your stuff?

Yeah, it's all me. I produce a bit, so yeah.

Juicy music! Cool!

Yeah, I do a fair bit of EDM production stuff, myself, yeah.

Oh, yeah? How long you been doing that?

-About five years. -Yeah.

Yeah, five to eight years.

And just probably-- Yeah, when it first took off.

Dude, get my phone and do a Boomerang.

Just do a Boomerang of me just getting into this music.

Oh, you got a face...

Just get a Boomerang, just candidly get it.

You good with that one?

-That's actually sick. -Cool.

-Save it and chuck it on my Instagram. -Yeah.

Just open up my Instagram, post it,

and I'll think of a caption with some hashies.

You just got a comment on that post you made this morning of you doing pushups.

What is it?

-"Oi, fat arse, do you even lift?" -Block him.

-Delete it. -Scotty199?

Yeah, I know the cunt. Fucking idiot. Delete it.

You get that. You get fucking haters.

[Ken] In the 17th century, all of this was a forest.

It is incredible to imagine. Isn't it, Gavin?

What?

Pop them off, love. Headphones.

[Helen] We're trying to immerse Gavin in Gayhurst culture and history.

We think it's slowly sinking in that this is his future.

Fuck!

[Helen] And that he's an integral part of Gayhurst lineage.

Fuck!

Dope view.

The house, what would I get for it if I sold it in the future? 80 million?

[scoffs] You're not gonna sell it, idiot.

[Gavin] Don't be extra all your life.

I'm going to be your boss anyway.

[Clementine] You'll never be my boss,� you fat chav.

Spicy.

[Gavin] So, who's the cunt� that built it all in the olden days?

Language!

Just banter.

[Gavin] Go, Uncle Ken.� I do this all the time

in the driveway with my mum.

Go!

[Helen] Of course, he's just a kid.

[Gavin] Ballsacks!

Ballsacks!

[Helen] But he's not� entirely sensible sometimes.

I'm just not entirely sure what to make of him.

[Gavin] Who's that smoking babe� with the horse?

That's Ingrid.

Her family's agisting some of our land and the stables.

She's lit AF. Good rack, too.

Gavin!

That's no way for the future Earl to speak.

[Clementine] Mum, he's gross� and I want him gone.

Oi, Horse Chick, good rack.

[Gavin] Remember this face.

I'm gonna slide into your DMs.

I don't know how to use any of that. You have to do it.

There's no denying Lisa Walton� would be a very big get.

Even the dog's famous.

Has she only done that show The Way to Sunrise?

Well, she did that film recently, The Back Scratcher.

Which was a massive flop. She's a terrible actress.

I think she should stick to television.

She's not good enough for film.

What's her pet's situation?

Apparently, it's behavioral problems,

but my gut tells me that it's past life issues

or puppy molestation.

I don't know. I need to meet the dog to tell for sure.

Make sure my phone's on in case she calls.

Yeah, it's right here.

Have you decided on a title for your book?

I'm going to stick with How to Make Your Cat Laugh.

It's a long title, but I just think that's the whole point of the book. So...

Get my Dictaphone on and we'll start doing some chapter work.

Chapter 5: Cats Love Innuendo.

Paragraph 1.

Ever try to invite laughter by tickling your cat?

Don't even bother.

Cats love wordplay and are suckers for double entendres.

You might not see a smile,

but nothing makes your cat laugh more than the word "pussy."

-Try to get the word in-- Who is that? -[telephone ringtone]

Oh, there goes my brain flow. Who's that?

It's Lisa Walton.

Oh, God. Put her on. Put her on.

Hello, Lisa darling, great to meet you.

I'm a very, very, very big fan.

[Lisa] Likewise. I'm having� an emergency here with my dog.

What's going on with the dog?

[Lisa] He's chewing on his back leg. He's been doing it all morning.

-Right. -It's some sort of repetitive pattern.

Alright. OK, sweetheart, we are on our way.

Kloof Road, Clifton. Put your foot down.

OK, sweetheart, we will see you soon.

Stay on the line, though, I'm going to talk to you through this

and everything is going to be OK.

Do not worry. Jana is coming.

[Joyce] Sounds a bit weird.

Can you give it some choke?

[Rhonda] We spend our time working on the collection.

I mean, it's a lot of work.

Yeah, I've done it with her pretty much since my--

Since your dad died.

She's got me working every day of the week.

-[Joyce] Pretty much every day. -[Rhonda] Yeah.

Oh!

-Rhonda! Isn't it cute? -[Rhonda laughs]

[Joyce] Well, Mondays is Vinnie’s, Salvos and Lifeline stores.

Five dollars. They want five for it. Highway robbery.

I'll give 'em 50 cents max for that.

And I'm not sure that I've already got that one, but that does look--

Do you know what? I think we've got a couple.

It does look very familiar, doesn't it? Lagong, Bali.

Yeah.

[Joyce] Tuesdays is Council collection.

[Joyce] I quite like that.

[Rhonda] We ring Council, just to see what streets they're doing.

I like this. Keep that?

[Rhonda] Oh, yes. Absolutely.

Watch your back.

[Joyce] Sometimes,� even if there's no collection,

then I'll just wear my vest and I pretend that I'm from the Council.

[Joyce] Hi, Council collection, love.

Have you got any rubbish to throw out, anything at all?

Whatever you got. I'm from the Council.

[Rhonda] You would not believe it, though.

They fall for it every damn time, don't they?

-[Joyce] It's totally... -[Rhonda] Amazing.

[Joyce] Wednesdays is hump day.

[Rhonda] Yep. It's just basically sorting, polishing.

[Joyce] The collection gets dusty. It's not as valuable.

Thursdays is the tip.

This could be good. I mean, that might� come off alright in the wash.

Frisbee. I know I've got a few, but you can never have enough.

[Rhonda] Friday, bin day.

It's my least favorite day.

-[Joyce] Yeah, she doesn't like bin day. -[Rhonda] No.

Oh. Is that any good?

[Rhonda] Yeah, toss 'er in.

[Joyce] But you never know what you're gonna get out of a bin.

Corn cob holders. We need more of those.

[Rhonda] Yeah, toss 'em in.

[Joyce] A bin can deliver sometimes.

Saturdays is garage sales.

-[Rhonda] Oh, yeah.

-[Rhonda] Joycey here loves a haggle. -[Joyce] I love them.

I'll give you 50 cents for that.

[woman] No. We're asking� ten dollars for that.

-Eighty cents? -[woman] No, sorry.

[woman] Oh, you got� some vintage magazines.

[Rhonda] Yes, there's some here.

[woman] Oh, I remember her� being on the telly.

Thank you so much for your time. Now, we're in a bit of a rush. Thank you.

[woman] Thanks. Bye.

This is quite good, actually. Isn't it?

Sundays is our Sabbath, that's our day off.

-We just chill out with a gin and tonic. -Yep.

[Joyce] We just look at our collection

and just to see what we've achieved throughout the week.

Take a load off.

[Quentin] So, this is the development that I'm working on.

I initially was just gonna do the one apartment,

but I just fell in love with the building

and Mum and Dad have chipped in and bought me all six.

Uh... it's an art deco place and...� I think.

And it's a huge refit, doing the whole thing.

[Quentin] Check it out, boys.

Yeah, so I want it to be like, the creme-de-la-creme of apartments, like.

Like the best apartment on the worst street.

As you'll note, we've done this, like, massive epic space here,

'cause we've knocked into the apartment next door, so it's like fucked-up--

It's fucked up the neighboring apartment, it's made it like three meters wide.

Actually, Luke, what are we gonna do about that?

I'm thinking about, like, a vaulted ceiling or something to sort of

give it some sense of space,

but it's given us this sort of big floor plan here.

Kitchen, so we added this kitchen here, right?

Bench top, it's made of bulletproof glass,

so it's like, if a bullet came in, it would fucking just ricochet off it.

Chandelier comes down from here, and it's, like, real fast,

like, if you want the chandelier, you just press a touch pad and...

Like, we got it down to, like, 0.3 of a second, just...

like, comes down so fast.

You know when you're chopping, you just want a low chandelier--

Oh, the fucking conversation pit--

Boys, there's gonna be this, like, hydraulic, like,

sunken lounge thing here, right?

And you sit in it, and you press this button and it, like, lowers.

It's gonna lower into the apartment downstairs, like.

If you're downstairs, the ceiling will come down,

but that's just something they'll have to get used to.

Oh, fuck! Luke, can I ask you a thing about this?

Had this idea.

Like, we do a full wall of fish tank, like, in this en suite,

so, like, floor to ceiling wall, like, that yay big,

and have, like, seahorses in it, eels,

like, a medium-size shark, like, one that can actually kill people.

But, like, on a hot day, maybe you can just jump in

and just, like, have a swim around with it,

like, can we do something like that?

Well, anything's doable, but you know, it won't be cheap.

Yeah, well money's no object at this stage,

'cause I want that luxury, high-end, like, buyer who just doesn't give a shit.

You know, how much do you reckon it'll go for?

I'm thinking three to eight mil. Yeah.

-Big range, but it's good. -Yeah.

You could do a nice job with the roof, I reckon.

Yeah. Well I kinda like that industrial, like, leave the beams out, maybe.

But sort of, maybe like a gold leaf kind of thing on it.

Alright. Kinda psyched.

-Yeah. -Yeah, definitely.

[Gavin] Then you do the finger,� then up, down.

do it like that, and then you go around, here, up, down, like that,

and that's how you end it.

You'll get it. Don't worry.

Hey, mate, do you reckon your mum was, like, a virgin before she got married?

I don't know.

I reckon she was.

Well, actually, she's pretty horny.

I don't know.

I reckon she fucked heaps of dudes.

I'm going to be the biggest player.

Before-- I'm already considered a player at my school.

I'm gonna fuck heaps of chicks.

Let's go this way.

Fuck's sake!

Oh, I ripped my ballsack off on the hedge.

Help me.

Oh! Fucking hell!

Alright, that should be lower.

[Gavin] We've been low-key lurking� at the stables,

'cause we've been bored as fuck.

Wouldn't mind seeing that horse chick.

What's her name?

Ingrid.

Ingrid.

She's mint.

Wouldn't mind slipping the slug in.

Whose is this car?

Oh, that's mine, when I was five.

[Gavin] We found this lit mini car.

We thought we wouldn't be able to start it, but we got it going.

We're gonna use it

to shoot some content for my Cuntlord Instagram.

Yeah.

Dope as fuck.

If I start tuning Ingrid now,

then, not these holidays, but next holidays,

I might have sex with her.

I can't now 'cause I've got a child-size dick,

so she probably wouldn't feel anything.

Depends how tight she is.

[Gavin] There's Ingrid.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Horse chick.

Hi.

[Gavin] Come here.

With chicks, do you, like,

ease in, or do you just go straight in, or do you even--

Do you just, like, dangle the carrot a little bit?

I go easy.

Mm.

Come here if you want the D, the dick.

Don't you want the dick?

I'm busy. Go away.

Come here if you want to go skiing with two dudes.

Here's you.

[Jana] A new client of this caliber, it's make-or-break. I need to be on my toes.

There she is.

For me as a brand, the Jana brand, I need the big names.

The stakes are very high, and I need to sort this dog out pronto.

Alright, Colin.

I understand. OK, I'll talk to your mum. OK, Lisa.

Now, Colin has had a word to me and...

What I'm going to say is potentially

insulting for you and personal.

Colin says he feels a strong connection to you. He loves you very much.

[Lisa] Yes.

The issue is not past-life related as I thought, and it's--

The trauma relates more to you.

What is it?

Colin didn't like the last film that you made, The Back Scratcher.

And he's finding it hard to tell you.

Oh.

Yes. Did you rehearse scenes around the house or--

-[Lisa] I did. -[Jana] Yes, so he's seen it.

He's put the pieces together. Now, he knows the film flopped.

And it's made him very distressed and he fears for his future.

He's telling me that he prefers the old you.

-[Lisa] Oh. -Mm.

And he would like you to do more TV work and less film work.

[Lisa] Oh.

And to quote him, he says "you're no Streep."

Oh.

[Jana] Working with a high-profile dog, I need to tread very, very carefully.

Now, he's telling me that he would like a song made up for him and sung to him.

[Lisa] I sing to him.

No, not you, sweetheart, he would like me to sing the song.

OK.

[singing] Oh, the chairs and the carpet And the big dog bowl

And the woof-woof-woof And the whoa-whoa-whoa

[Jana] My techniques change according to the pet's needs.

It's case-by-case.

[singing] And the tickle-tickle-tick And the...

[Jana] And sometimes, if need be, I have to pull out the big guns.

So, I like to do nude work when the dog tells me he wants nude work.

I find that it accelerates intimacy and builds trust between me and the dog,

and telepathically I'm able to connect with the dog on a higher level.

OK, and you can unzip me.

[Jana] I'll do whatever it takes to get a breakthrough.

[singing] Whoa-whoa-whoa

And the mummies and the tummies And the tickle-tickle-tick

And the ha-ha-ha And the hee-hee-hee

-[man] Cuckoo clock! -[Joyce] Yep. It's my dad's.

Oh, now these are lovely.

-Oh, you like those? -Oh, yes!

Do you have the full set?

Oh, I think you've got more out in the museum.

There's some in the museum. There's more.

Yeah. OK.

[Joyce] A man just came over, just rang the doorbell.

Gave me a fright at first, 'cause we don't get a lot of visitors.

He's a nice bloke. Antiques dealer.

Antiques man.

Collectibles. Collectibles.

So now...

What do we have over here?

Teddies.

[man] Teddies.

Now, these are exquisite.

This is one of the most precious things in the whole collection.

No one's allowed to touch it, except me.

Not even me, but I do sometimes.

[Joyce] But I didn't like the look of him.

I didn't like how he kind of squinted his eyes. Like, I don't--

I don't trust a man that smiles too much.

I'll offer you 50 dollars.

That's a good deal, Joyce, that's a good deal.

That's not what I do. I don't usually sell.

Oh, you said you had some doubles.

I don't usually sell.

Yeah, I know, but honey, think what you can do with the money, right?

Alright, I guess if I've got doubles, then I--

There you go!

Alright, take them. I'll take the 50.

There's the 50 dollars, Joyce.

[man] Nice meeting you.

[Joyce] But I warmed to him in the end.

Oh, just a second.

Victor Charlie, Charlie, come in Les, this is Joyce.

[static]

Victor Charlie, Charlie Les, come in.

-[static] -I'm just talking to my boyfriend.

It's my boyfriend Les. Just sometimes he comes on about this time.

I just get a sixth sense when he's on.

[Joyce] In the end, I thought he was quite a nice bloke.

-Can I say goodbye to Snoopy? -Oh, of course you can.

Goodbye, Snoopy. I'm gonna miss you so much!

Just remember when you're looking up into those bright stars,

that I'm looking up into the same bright stars.

Take him.

-I'll take good care of him. -I don't often say this, sweetheart,

but I really like you. You're a very nice man.

Go before I cry.

A curtsy for a true gentleman.

[Joyce] Goodbye.

Sorry, mate.

I'd let you have this spot, but I don't think I'll get another park today.

Sorry.

[Quentin] There's casualties� in every development,

so some of the long-term tenants have had to be evicted but...

that's just how the cookie crumbles, unfortunately

The kind of buyer that I'm looking for wants those things done,

I mean they're gonna want, you know, your boutiques and your cafes

and your-- Somewhere nice to walk your dog and all that,

and they're gonna want a certain caliber of neighbor,

if you know what I'm saying.

I could watch your stuff if you want to go grab another load, so. Yep.

Hey, Quentin, look. There's a lot of changes here.

This is all going to add up. It's gonna be a lot of money.

Yeah, I put fucking 200 grand in the float fund. It's in there.

It was there when we started, but not now.

I mean, I don't want to hassle you,

but you know, I think I've been more than generous.

You know, I'm putting my own hand in my own pocket now.

Dude, I'm not selling to fucking Bruno, mate.

I told you you're gonna get paid once the first one sells.

The rest are gonna get snapped up, mate.

I got a mate of mine, getting an article in Better Homes and Gardens magazine.

Look, I'm just saying, you know, I can't build it for free.

You know? You need to put some money in the account. You know?

-I'm not a charity. -Oh, calm down, mate.

Seriously, I've got fucking other work for you coming.

Restaurants, fucking microbreweries.

Like, if you play your cards right, I got a lot of work for ya. So, just chill.

Mate, just put some money in the account.

OK, cool.

Fuck! You're alright, mate!

Chillax, dude.

Fuck's sake.

[animal sounds]

Any of you hungry?

[Helen] Gavin's proving to be a little bit bothersome,

and we actually had a complaint from Ingrid, who uses our stables.

[motor running]

OK, so you've got two cups full of this per day,

that's for the chickens, alright?

[Helen] OK? Come on, then.

[engine revs]

We've got Henry, the bunny, and he likes this food, too.

[Helen] I thought it'd be a great idea to give him some responsibilities.

We keep animals in our mini farm,

and I thought what a perfect opportunity to give him some duties.

Are you listening?

Darling, can you turn that off?

Why?

[Helen] Why have you got this out? You're too big for it.

Sweetheart, take off your headphones, please.

-Why? -You can't hear me.

-Why? -'Cause you can't hear me, darling.

-Take-- -Why, though?

-Because I asked you to, love. -But why, though?

Come on, don't be silly, love.

-Why, though? -Pop out, love.

-Why, though? Why, though? -Come on, love. Good boy.

-Come on, love. Pop out, please. -Why, though?

Come on. Dylan's hopping out.

Come on, darling. Take off your headphones, sweetheart, please.

Good boy. OK, that's go on to the piggies.

[Helen] Oh, gosh!

That's very stiff.

Alright, boys, in you hop.

Stiff!

Hey, don't you think it would be a really good idea

if you named the piggies?

Yes, Mummy, I would love to.

And they could be your responsibility all the school holiday. OK?

Hey, Mummy, could I please call my piggy "The D"?

If you like, love.

-Sure. Of course. -[boys giggle]

And you know, boys, I was thinking, you know we've got the historical society,

I've been talking to them about opening up Gayhurst for tours

and charging people--

-Come on, Dylan, get in. -Love?

Would you like to take people on the tour of the animals and explain them all?

-Would that be lovely? Yeah? -Hell, yeah. Yeah.

-Yeah. -OK.

-Animals are my spirit animals. -Yeah?

And mine, too.

Oh, are they? And I can trust you in that role?

-Yeah. See ya. -Yeah? OK.

-See ya, piggies. Bye, cunts. -Yeah.

[Gavin] See ya, cunts!

[theme music playing

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