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[CRYING]
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[TIRES SCREECHING]
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[MUSIC PLAYING OVER RADIO]
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[HOST]: Next up, an oldie
but a goodie. "Insensitive"
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00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,520
by Jann Arden.
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- [WEAKLY SINGING ALONG]
-
How do you cool your lips
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00:00:21,940 --> 00:00:25,220
After a summer's kiss?
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00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,970
I finally understand this song!
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-
How do you rid the sweat
- [WHIMPERING]
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[SIREN BLARING]
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- Holy crap...
-
After the body bliss?
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[GASPING] Jann!
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- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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[UPBEAT MUSIC]
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_
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[BIRDS CHIRPING]
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[EXHALING HEAVILY]
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00:00:55,380 --> 00:00:57,540
- Hi.
- Hi. Jann?
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00:00:57,550 --> 00:00:59,380
- Yes.
- You look normal-sized
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00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:03,060
- in person.
- Oh... thank you, I think.
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00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:05,760
Cute. I'm Cale,
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00:01:05,770 --> 00:01:07,369
I have an appointment to view the house.
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I know.
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00:01:08,390 --> 00:01:09,640
You live here?
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00:01:09,650 --> 00:01:11,539
I do when I'm not renting the place.
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When I have guests here,
I stay in the cottage
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- down the path.
- I think this could work
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- for my client.
- Who'd you say your client was?
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- I didn't.
- But you meant to?
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I didn't.
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How many bedrooms does this place have?
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My client travels with an entourage.
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Oh, I've got five really
spacious bedrooms.
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That's not ideal, but I
guess two can share a room.
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This is my friend Rhonda.
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She helps me do stuff around here.
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Rhonda, we're going to have a guest.
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You're on a septic out
here, so don't even think
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00:01:38,050 --> 00:01:39,879
about flushing your tampons.
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OK. Thank you, Rhonda.
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- Can I have this?
- Oh, God. It's all yours.
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Thanks.
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00:01:45,890 --> 00:01:47,720
What was that, Rhonda?
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00:01:47,730 --> 00:01:50,550
You want to know who the
guest is? Rhonda would like
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- to know who the guest is.
- Rhonda doesn't care.
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00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:54,560
You should be more like Rhonda.
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00:01:54,570 --> 00:01:57,699
I will say, however, that
my client is a huge name,
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and she's in town to
headline Cancer Fest
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00:02:00,140 --> 00:02:02,659
- at the Saddledome.
- Oh, that is so great.
51
00:02:02,660 --> 00:02:04,870
You know, I have a gig
myself later this afternoon.
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00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:06,660
- It's a private function...
- Neat.
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00:02:06,670 --> 00:02:08,440
You're a very accomplished
musician, aren't you?
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00:02:08,450 --> 00:02:10,980
I am! I am very accomplished.
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And... and you know, I'm very humble.
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00:02:14,540 --> 00:02:16,679
While my client stays here,
can we take that down?
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00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:18,940
Sadly, you are not the first
person to ask me that,
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so I had a special sheet made.
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[ROCK MUSIC]
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- [BIRDS CHIRPING]
- Ow.
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[PHONE RINGING]
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Ow!
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00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,710
- Hey, Max.
- Stop! What are you doing?!
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00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:45,779
- [CHILDREN SCREAMING]
- Hello, Max?
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- [CHILD]: Get off me!
- I said stop! Those cupcakes
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- are for the bake sale!
- Cupcakes?
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You don't have to talk to
me like I'm a child too.
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00:02:54,030 --> 00:02:56,990
- [SCREAMING]
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Hi!
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00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,640
That's not my job!
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- Was that my job?
- What are you doing here?
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Your butt dialled me
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and told me it had cupcakes. Whoa!
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- Ooh-hoo!
- Hey, Mom.
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00:03:05,170 --> 00:03:06,960
Hi, sweetheart.
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00:03:06,970 --> 00:03:09,400
Oh, my God. Why is
everybody freaking out?
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00:03:09,410 --> 00:03:10,940
Your sister's pregnant again.
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OK. Ew.
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00:03:12,210 --> 00:03:14,019
- Really?
- Are you happy about this?
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00:03:14,020 --> 00:03:15,532
Should I be congratulating you?
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I don't know. I mean, I have
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00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:18,479
one in college and two in hockey.
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00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:20,019
I mean, do you think I
want more of these?!
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00:03:20,020 --> 00:03:22,560
Oh, you're precious and you
were very much wanted.
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00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:23,959
I just got a promotion!
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I'm done with kids!
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- Every day with you is a gift.
- This wasn't supposed
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to happen. He actually had a vasectomy.
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00:03:29,850 --> 00:03:30,920
OK. Ew!
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00:03:30,930 --> 00:03:33,050
All right, girls. First one
dressed is my favourite.
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00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:37,000
You know, I was this close to
getting my life back on track.
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00:03:37,020 --> 00:03:41,760
Ooh! I have not had one of
these since Dad's funeral.
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00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,189
You don't actually care, do you?
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Of course I do.
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00:03:44,210 --> 00:03:45,219
You do whatever you want.
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00:03:45,220 --> 00:03:48,450
Actually, right now, you're
eating my children's lunches.
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00:03:48,470 --> 00:03:49,500
You know what?
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00:03:49,510 --> 00:03:51,140
I have problems too.
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00:03:51,170 --> 00:03:53,840
I have a very complicated relationship.
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00:03:53,850 --> 00:03:56,910
With... who? You and Cynthia broke up.
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00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,910
No, we didn't. Have you seen
her? Did you talk to her?
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What'd she say? Never mind.
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00:04:00,470 --> 00:04:02,350
You know what? We're
just taking a break.
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00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:05,040
- We're just taking a breather.
- [SCREAMING]: Mom!
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00:04:05,050 --> 00:04:07,190
Hey, get your feet off your
sister's face! Please!
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00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:08,959
OK, could you just do me one favour?
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00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:10,949
Could you just take Mom to
her doctor's appointment?
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00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:11,960
I can't.
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00:04:11,970 --> 00:04:13,279
I need to earn a living.
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00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:14,780
I think we can all agree on that.
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OK?
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00:04:16,710 --> 00:04:20,070
How are you liking the minivan
that I got for you guys?
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00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:21,799
Well, that's really classy.
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00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:22,960
Have you got enough?
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I'll take a road cake.
115
00:04:24,380 --> 00:04:26,110
- I really do have a gig.
- No, help yourself.
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00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:29,010
- I've got a headliner. OK?
- Just two? Congratulations.
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So, good luck with everything.
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- Hey, bye-bye!
- Bye, Jann!
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- [GIRLS]: Bye, Auntie Jann!
- Bye!
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See you later.
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00:04:36,540 --> 00:04:39,079
- Jackass.
- Your sister's just afraid
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00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:40,960
that everyone will forget about her.
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00:04:40,970 --> 00:04:43,320
Oh, my God. Do you
think that's possible?
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00:04:43,330 --> 00:04:45,590
[LAUGHING]
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00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:47,860
Red queen.
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00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:50,500
- I know.
- OK.
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00:04:50,510 --> 00:04:53,570
Oh, my Lord
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00:04:53,700 --> 00:04:58,940
Oh, my Lord
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00:04:58,980 --> 00:05:01,919
Oh, my Lord
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00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:03,910
Could I be your girl?
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00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:06,310
- Woo!
- Thank you.
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00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,310
- Thank you so much.
- You're welcome.
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00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:10,880
Thank you everybody.
Thanks a lot. Oh, hey...
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00:05:10,900 --> 00:05:13,580
OK. It's my pleasure
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00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,260
to introduce this next act.
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00:05:15,270 --> 00:05:18,120
It's a father and son. It says
here they are professional...
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00:05:18,130 --> 00:05:20,290
- duck callers.
- [QUACKING SOUNDS]
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00:05:21,340 --> 00:05:22,630
Duck callers.
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00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:24,900
They are known as... FowlCall.
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00:05:24,910 --> 00:05:27,600
- So, let's hear it for FowlCall.
- [APPLAUSE]
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00:05:27,610 --> 00:05:30,100
That was so great!
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00:05:30,110 --> 00:05:32,540
OK. They could not have cared less.
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00:05:32,550 --> 00:05:33,899
Hey, you can't read the
crowd from up there.
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00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,140
From where I was, they loved it.
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00:05:35,150 --> 00:05:37,340
These two Hutterites knew all the words.
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00:05:37,350 --> 00:05:39,180
This is just not what
I want to be doing.
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00:05:39,190 --> 00:05:41,350
Yeah, I know. It's the kind of
offer we're getting right now.
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00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:43,820
- OK, well, can we get going?
- What's your hurry?
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00:05:43,830 --> 00:05:46,790
Oh, my God. Do you want
to watch the duck people?
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00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:49,450
Ready when you are.
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00:05:49,460 --> 00:05:51,899
So, when are we getting' paid?
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00:05:51,900 --> 00:05:54,030
'Cause I really need to put
some cash in the bank.
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00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:55,690
Don't be mad, OK? We're
getting paid well.
154
00:05:55,700 --> 00:05:57,930
Just not in the
traditional sense. Guys...
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00:05:57,940 --> 00:06:00,010
put this is in the black
SUV with the cheese.
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00:06:01,980 --> 00:06:04,100
Cheese?!
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00:06:04,110 --> 00:06:06,670
I've done my research.
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00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:09,170
We'll get cash... once
we sell the cheese.
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00:06:09,180 --> 00:06:10,299
I hope you're kidding.
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00:06:10,300 --> 00:06:12,360
You ever go to the grocery
store and buy Parmesan?
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00:06:12,370 --> 00:06:15,480
It's like 14 bucks for
a tiny little wedge.
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00:06:15,490 --> 00:06:17,720
Each wheel is 120 pounds.
We've got three of them.
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00:06:17,730 --> 00:06:20,820
Three wheels. In cash, that's
double your last private gig.
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00:06:20,830 --> 00:06:24,560
I know, but that's cash. I
cannot buy shoes with cheese.
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00:06:24,570 --> 00:06:25,959
You just have to be patient.
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00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:27,919
Hang on to the cheese
for a couple of days
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00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:29,980
- 'til we find a buyer.
- OK. This is embarrassing.
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00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:31,460
Do you know how it makes me feel
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00:06:31,470 --> 00:06:33,560
to be performing for dairy products?
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00:06:33,570 --> 00:06:35,199
It's like edible Bitcoin!
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00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:36,930
I want you to get me Cancer Fest.
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00:06:36,940 --> 00:06:38,799
Jann. You know I do
everything in my power...
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00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:40,032
Mainstage. Saddledome.
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00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:41,560
That show's been booked for months!
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00:06:41,580 --> 00:06:42,760
Drake, Feist, Arcade Fire...
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00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:46,210
I want you to do everything in
your power to get me Cancer.
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00:06:46,220 --> 00:06:47,680
... Fest?
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00:06:48,620 --> 00:06:51,250
OK. I'll try.
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00:06:51,260 --> 00:06:52,280
That's all I ask.
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00:06:52,290 --> 00:06:56,170
Wow, you really look like Jann Arden!
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00:06:56,180 --> 00:06:59,430
- Actually, I...
- I do not care for her.
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00:07:01,340 --> 00:07:04,180
[SIGHING]
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00:07:04,570 --> 00:07:07,580
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
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00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,830
- Hey, Todd.
- Jann, I've got news.
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00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:12,470
You got Cancer.
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00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:14,470
Yes! Fest?
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00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:17,419
Yeah. That. Cancer Fest!
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00:07:17,420 --> 00:07:19,910
- Way to go, Todd.
- I can't believe it myself!
189
00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:21,700
A spot opened up for this afternoon.
190
00:07:21,710 --> 00:07:23,780
Terri Clark had to bow
out at the last minute.
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00:07:23,790 --> 00:07:26,250
- Fantastic!
- It's a medical situation.
192
00:07:26,260 --> 00:07:27,580
She may have cancer.
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00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:29,480
Oh... that's terrible.
194
00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:31,040
Melanoma.
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00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:32,839
They're mapping her moles as we speak.
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00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:34,150
Oh, Jesus.
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00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,160
- But still, great for you! Right?
- Yeah...
198
00:07:36,170 --> 00:07:39,830
- See you there at three.
- Thanks, Todd. See you.
199
00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:42,780
- [SIGHING]
- [BEEP]
200
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:45,770
[RINGING]
201
00:07:45,780 --> 00:07:47,970
[BEEP]
202
00:07:47,980 --> 00:07:51,340
Hey. So, you know how when I'm pregnant
203
00:07:51,350 --> 00:07:53,670
I can't handle certain smells?
204
00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,179
Well, a few days ago,
205
00:07:55,180 --> 00:07:58,100
Mom helped me put away
the groceries, and...
206
00:07:58,110 --> 00:08:01,180
the rump roast didn't quite
make it into the fridge.
207
00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:03,519
Oh, no.
208
00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:05,180
Did I do that?
209
00:08:05,190 --> 00:08:08,190
It's OK. It's no problem.
210
00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:09,780
It's totally fine.
211
00:08:09,820 --> 00:08:11,930
[THUD]
212
00:08:11,940 --> 00:08:14,560
I just had to share. Call me back.
213
00:08:14,570 --> 00:08:17,900
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
214
00:08:17,910 --> 00:08:19,970
Ooh, ooh
215
00:08:19,980 --> 00:08:22,230
Ooh, ooh, ooh
216
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,850
[DOOR OPENING]
217
00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:31,780
Wow, Todd. This is seriously...
218
00:08:31,790 --> 00:08:34,050
- Glad you like it.
- Oh!
219
00:08:34,060 --> 00:08:35,500
Oh, gosh.
220
00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:37,920
Hey, I love that.
221
00:08:37,930 --> 00:08:41,220
Oh, gosh...
222
00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:44,190
What?
223
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,730
- Why are they...
- This was all for Terri.
224
00:08:50,570 --> 00:08:52,600
Come on!
225
00:08:52,610 --> 00:08:54,440
Really?
226
00:08:58,540 --> 00:09:02,039
Missing Cancer Fest because
of a cancer scare.
227
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:03,450
I mean, what are the odds of that?
228
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,080
- Very ironic.
- But you know what?
229
00:09:05,090 --> 00:09:07,510
The woman never wears sleeves.
230
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:09,740
So, we've got a three-song acoustic set.
231
00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:11,420
- Your guitar's all set up.
- Great.
232
00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,809
I love when it's just you and the music.
233
00:09:13,810 --> 00:09:15,040
I'm so excited for you!
234
00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:16,480
I think I'm gonna watch
from front of house.
235
00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:18,259
- Get the true fan experience.
- Yes!
236
00:09:18,260 --> 00:09:19,600
- You're on next.
- Yes!
237
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:22,529
- Call me if you need me.
- I will, I will!
238
00:09:22,530 --> 00:09:23,719
_
239
00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:24,956
[TAPPING]
240
00:09:24,957 --> 00:09:26,379
- _
- [WHOOSHING]
241
00:09:26,380 --> 00:09:28,060
"Not delivered"?
242
00:09:28,070 --> 00:09:30,240
Hey! Can you tell Jann
Arden she's on in 10?
243
00:09:30,250 --> 00:09:32,740
Oh, you know what? Actually, I am...
244
00:09:32,750 --> 00:09:35,340
[DISTANT MUSIC PLAYING]
245
00:09:35,350 --> 00:09:37,420
[DISTANT CHEERING]
246
00:09:40,090 --> 00:09:41,959
Hey. I'm up next.
247
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,810
Yeah, may I see your pass please?
248
00:09:43,820 --> 00:09:45,820
Oh. Um...
249
00:09:45,830 --> 00:09:48,290
my manager has my pass. I'm Jann Arden?
250
00:09:48,300 --> 00:09:50,220
Yeah, but you gotta have a pass.
251
00:09:50,230 --> 00:09:52,260
Come on, you know me.
252
00:09:52,270 --> 00:09:54,340
Hide your heart under the bed
253
00:09:54,350 --> 00:09:57,299
And lock your secret drawer
Wash the angels
254
00:09:57,300 --> 00:09:59,519
-
From your head...
- Not ringing any bells.
255
00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:00,979
OK. I'm gonna phone my manager.
256
00:10:00,980 --> 00:10:02,330
Yeah, you do that.
257
00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:04,470
But you're not gonna
get any signal here.
258
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:06,780
[EXCITED SCREAMING]
259
00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:11,410
Oh! My favourite!
260
00:10:11,420 --> 00:10:12,580
Oh!
261
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:15,139
- Bella bambina!
- It's Feist?
262
00:10:15,140 --> 00:10:17,219
That's who's renting my house?
263
00:10:17,220 --> 00:10:19,439
I love your new video.
264
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,050
I bought it on iTunes!
265
00:10:21,060 --> 00:10:24,040
- Radical.
- She says "radical".
266
00:10:24,860 --> 00:10:27,160
OK. That woman is staying
267
00:10:27,170 --> 00:10:29,440
at my house! Please,
268
00:10:29,450 --> 00:10:31,140
Feist, tell this guy who I am!
269
00:10:31,150 --> 00:10:32,660
- Who am I?!
- Safe circle.
270
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,440
You're too close. She
doesn't like contact.
271
00:10:37,450 --> 00:10:39,120
Do I know this person from somewhere?
272
00:10:39,140 --> 00:10:42,040
You're staying in my house!
Um, you're literally
273
00:10:42,050 --> 00:10:45,019
- pooing in my toilet.
- I don't do that.
274
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:47,060
- She doesn't do that.
- OK.
275
00:10:47,070 --> 00:10:49,820
You know who I am. Can you
please tell this guy?
276
00:10:49,830 --> 00:10:53,000
- My manager has my pass.
- You need a new manager.
277
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:54,419
OK. You're not being very helpful.
278
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:56,740
Yeah, I'm getting tired
of pretending to be nice
279
00:10:56,750 --> 00:10:58,780
- to this person.
- I can hear you.
280
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:02,280
And also, I'm gonna need
to not see that anymore.
281
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:04,479
- [MAN SNARLING]
- Look, Cale, I'm finding this
282
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:06,100
very stressful. I don't feel well.
283
00:11:06,110 --> 00:11:08,060
I'm gonna need to Facetime
with my life coach.
284
00:11:08,070 --> 00:11:10,440
- OK. Thanks.
- OK.
285
00:11:10,510 --> 00:11:12,600
No sign of Jann Arden. We're moving on.
286
00:11:12,610 --> 00:11:15,220
[HOST]: Please give a warm
Cancer Fest welcome...
287
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:16,879
- You're gonna be sorry.
- ... to a timeless talent.
288
00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:19,090
An artist as relevant today
289
00:11:19,100 --> 00:11:21,620
as when we first fell
in love with her...
290
00:11:21,740 --> 00:11:23,380
Sarah McLachlan!
291
00:11:23,390 --> 00:11:25,380
[BEEP!] Sarah McLachlan?!
292
00:11:25,420 --> 00:11:28,840
Ma'am, you need to leave. Right now.
293
00:11:28,850 --> 00:11:32,460
And into the fire
I'm reunited
294
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:35,020
Into the fire
295
00:11:35,060 --> 00:11:36,720
Perfect damn song!
296
00:11:36,750 --> 00:11:38,660
-
I am the spark
- What the frig?!
297
00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:41,130
-
Into the night
- Where's Jann?
298
00:11:41,140 --> 00:11:44,560
-
I yearn for comfort
- [CHEERING]
299
00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:46,740
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
300
00:11:46,770 --> 00:11:49,580
- [RINGING]
- Nope!
301
00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:52,470
Call Cynthia.
302
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:53,490
[DINGING]
303
00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:55,490
[SIRI]: You asked me
to block that number
304
00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:57,139
while you give each other some space.
305
00:11:57,140 --> 00:11:58,610
OK. Override that.
306
00:11:58,620 --> 00:12:00,000
- Override that block.
- [DINGING]
307
00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:01,380
You asked me to block...
308
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:02,540
- ... give each other some space.
- Oh, my God.
309
00:12:02,550 --> 00:12:04,900
- You asked me to block that number...
- Ignore that block.
310
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,640
I'm sorry, Jann. I can't do that.
311
00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:08,780
Please open your settings
to change call blocks.
312
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:14,440
OK. Call 403-555-0177.
313
00:12:14,460 --> 00:12:15,680
[DINGING]
314
00:12:15,700 --> 00:12:19,160
- Dialling that number.
- Do not tell me who I can call!
315
00:12:19,310 --> 00:12:21,800
Hi, this is Cynthia. Leave me a message.
316
00:12:21,810 --> 00:12:24,440
- [BEEP]
- Hey, it's me.
317
00:12:24,450 --> 00:12:28,399
And, um, I know you wanted some space
318
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:29,660
and some time.
319
00:12:29,700 --> 00:12:32,040
But listen, things are
really going to hell,
320
00:12:32,050 --> 00:12:34,420
and I really need to see
you. I'm coming over.
321
00:12:34,430 --> 00:12:35,440
[BEEP]
322
00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:37,440
[DOG BARKING]
323
00:12:38,730 --> 00:12:42,120
What? Come on!
324
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:45,060
[SIGHING]
325
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,120
- [PHONE LINE TRILLING]
- [RINGING]
326
00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:57,440
Hi, this is Cynthia. Leave me a message.
327
00:12:57,450 --> 00:12:59,500
OK. You don't decline me.
328
00:12:59,510 --> 00:13:01,550
I'm the decliner!
329
00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:06,340
[INSENSITIVE BY JANN ARDEN PLAYING]
330
00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:08,299
How do you cool your lips
331
00:13:08,300 --> 00:13:11,700
Why is everyone so disappointing?!
332
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:14,470
After a summer's kiss?
333
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,150
I finally understand this song!
334
00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:20,680
-
How do you rid the sweat?
- [SIREN BLARING]
335
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:25,880
- Holy crap!
-
After the body bliss?
336
00:13:25,940 --> 00:13:27,720
- [GASPING]
- [MOOING]
337
00:13:27,750 --> 00:13:29,860
[SCREAMING]: Jann!
338
00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:35,519
Oh, I really should have known
339
00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:38,120
By the time you drove me home
340
00:13:38,140 --> 00:13:40,620
By the vagueness in your eyes
341
00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:42,810
- [GRUNTING]
- [INDISTINCT SPEAKING OVER RADIO]
342
00:13:42,820 --> 00:13:44,440
[JANN GROANING]
343
00:13:44,450 --> 00:13:45,579
- Ma'am?
- Oh, God!
344
00:13:45,580 --> 00:13:48,280
- Are you OK?
- Big trouble! Big trouble!
345
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:51,120
This is a very stressful situation!
346
00:13:51,170 --> 00:13:53,359
[HOLLERING]
347
00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:54,900
I think that's Jann Arden.
348
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:57,420
[GROANING] Jesus!
349
00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:59,500
[GROANING]
350
00:13:59,510 --> 00:14:02,680
Get up! Get... going! [PANTING]
351
00:14:02,810 --> 00:14:05,159
Ma'am, there's no need for this!
352
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:07,120
We're not gonna hurt you!
353
00:14:07,140 --> 00:14:09,180
I watch CNN!
354
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:11,980
[PANTING]
355
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,710
I guess she didn't see the open gate.
356
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:17,920
[GROANING]
357
00:14:17,930 --> 00:14:19,500
Oh!
358
00:14:19,540 --> 00:14:21,330
[SHRIEKING]
359
00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:26,520
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
360
00:14:26,530 --> 00:14:28,390
You'll never catch me, coppers!
361
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:29,640
Are you OK, Ms. Arden?
362
00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:31,320
Damn it!
363
00:14:31,340 --> 00:14:34,360
My mom's gonna be so
excited that I met you.
364
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,260
Your mother can kiss my ass!
365
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,660
Don't make me say it, but
I'm caught on my area.
366
00:14:39,700 --> 00:14:41,320
My la-di-da!
367
00:14:41,350 --> 00:14:44,680
I'm not drunk! I'm just sad!
368
00:14:44,690 --> 00:14:47,180
- [LAUGHING]
- Can you let me out of here?
369
00:14:47,190 --> 00:14:49,920
Oh. Well, you're not under arrest.
370
00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:52,250
And the... the door is open.
371
00:14:53,380 --> 00:14:54,750
Oh.
372
00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:57,799
I have been sober six years.
373
00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:00,659
You mentioned. And you blew
a zero on the Breathalyzer.
374
00:15:00,660 --> 00:15:03,960
It's clear that this...
is something else.
375
00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:06,830
We really just brought you
in to make sure you were OK.
376
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:10,670
- Your ride is coming.
- Actually, I'm here.
377
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:13,470
- Oh. Hey, Max.
- Ma'am?
378
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:15,500
My freezies?
379
00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:17,020
OK. They've been on my lady bits.
380
00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:18,280
It's your call, Doug.
381
00:15:18,290 --> 00:15:20,290
Enjoy.
382
00:15:24,660 --> 00:15:27,050
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
383
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:28,289
Well, that police video
384
00:15:28,290 --> 00:15:29,299
is going to be everywhere,
385
00:15:29,300 --> 00:15:30,500
and my career is going to be over.
386
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:31,549
Well, maybe it's time
387
00:15:31,550 --> 00:15:32,879
you just focus on something else.
388
00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:33,889
- Like what?
- I don't know,
389
00:15:33,890 --> 00:15:34,899
but something has to give.
390
00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,460
You have freezies on your vagina.
391
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,000
My work is all I have.
392
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,740
That is the stupidest thing
393
00:15:39,770 --> 00:15:41,700
I have ever heard, and I have children.
394
00:15:41,710 --> 00:15:43,630
- Do you want these for the kids?
- No! Mm-mm.
395
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:45,620
- No.
- There's nothing wrong with them.
396
00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:47,293
I'll eat 'em myself.
397
00:15:47,294 --> 00:15:48,410
[DOOR CLOSING]
398
00:15:48,420 --> 00:15:50,880
Jann... Arden...
399
00:15:50,890 --> 00:15:53,580
police... video.
400
00:15:53,590 --> 00:15:55,210
"Jann Arden Caught
401
00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:58,150
By the Fuzz". Ew!
402
00:15:58,160 --> 00:15:59,660
17 views?
403
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:02,820
I can't even go viral properly!
404
00:16:02,830 --> 00:16:06,220
Oh! Oh! Ah! Ah!
405
00:16:06,230 --> 00:16:07,300
Oh, God.
406
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:10,090
You know, I thought an IUD was bad.
407
00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:12,030
- [KNOCKING]
- What?!
408
00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:14,030
Oh.
409
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,700
You better not have
flushed anything weird.
410
00:16:15,710 --> 00:16:17,900
No. I, um,
411
00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:19,750
came to give you a gift.
412
00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:25,410
How did you know I like papaya?
413
00:16:25,420 --> 00:16:26,899
What do I get a woman in her 40s
414
00:16:26,900 --> 00:16:28,250
who's lost control of her life?
415
00:16:28,260 --> 00:16:32,380
I often contemplate burning
my yurt down with these.
416
00:16:32,390 --> 00:16:33,960
I'm just that good.
417
00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:36,050
Thank you.
418
00:16:36,060 --> 00:16:39,020
Jann... I have an agenda.
419
00:16:39,030 --> 00:16:40,960
Oh.
420
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:43,730
It's been a while.
421
00:16:43,740 --> 00:16:44,980
Wow.
422
00:16:44,990 --> 00:16:48,040
I was actually thinking of getting men
423
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:49,970
back in the rotation.
Give me 45 minutes.
424
00:16:49,980 --> 00:16:52,120
- I'll do a little bit of maintenance...
- Flattered.
425
00:16:52,140 --> 00:16:53,880
That's a hard no on my end.
426
00:16:53,890 --> 00:16:55,110
Mm.
427
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:56,470
I saw your video.
428
00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:58,860
- Oh, you're one of the 17.
- Do you know what I saw?
429
00:16:58,900 --> 00:17:00,580
More of my cooch than you wanted to?
430
00:17:00,590 --> 00:17:03,650
Yes. But I also saw an opportunity.
431
00:17:03,660 --> 00:17:05,280
You're primed for a comeback.
432
00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:06,880
Like vinyl. Or measles.
433
00:17:06,890 --> 00:17:10,520
I already have a manager.
He may screw up sometimes,
434
00:17:10,540 --> 00:17:12,260
- but Todd does his best.
- Like when he Tweeted
435
00:17:12,270 --> 00:17:13,720
a close-up photo of your nipple?
436
00:17:13,780 --> 00:17:16,680
He runs my Twitter and
my Tinder account.
437
00:17:16,700 --> 00:17:19,159
Sometimes he gets confused.
We've worked together
438
00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:21,660
a long time. I can't imagine firing him.
439
00:17:21,670 --> 00:17:23,800
My generation doesn't
need commitment up front.
440
00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:26,740
We can see how things go. But
I do need your permission
441
00:17:26,750 --> 00:17:28,570
to try and book you some better gigs.
442
00:17:28,580 --> 00:17:31,850
Let's get you back into
that house of yours.
443
00:17:39,190 --> 00:17:42,250
- You sure you don't want to...
- No.
444
00:17:42,260 --> 00:17:45,350
[INHALING DEEPLY] Yeah.
445
00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:48,160
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
446
00:17:48,170 --> 00:17:50,660
[ACOUSTIC MUSIC]
447
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:52,730
- Oh, I'm so glad you're here.
- Oh. Hi, love!
448
00:17:52,740 --> 00:17:55,300
- Everything is about to change!
- It sure is.
449
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:56,879
So, Mom and I have been talking,
450
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:59,270
and we've decided she's gonna
come live with you for a bit.
451
00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:01,720
What?!
452
00:18:01,740 --> 00:18:03,019
My house is chaos,
453
00:18:03,020 --> 00:18:04,740
and she needs someone
looking out for her.
454
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:06,310
She's forgetting things.
455
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,280
She is getting older.
456
00:18:08,290 --> 00:18:10,110
- OK. She's right here.
- Mom,
457
00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:11,800
you don't want to come
live with me, right?
458
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:15,220
Well, it'll be a nice change of pace.
459
00:18:15,230 --> 00:18:17,050
Mom loves you more.
460
00:18:17,060 --> 00:18:19,020
And she's really not that into me.
461
00:18:19,030 --> 00:18:22,460
- I'm your biggest fan!
- I am pregnant
462
00:18:22,470 --> 00:18:25,400
and sick and tired of ironing your face.
463
00:18:25,420 --> 00:18:27,500
OK. Who irons t-shirts?!
464
00:18:27,510 --> 00:18:28,760
Just keep her alive.
465
00:18:28,770 --> 00:18:30,260
- Bye, Maxi.
- Yeah.
466
00:18:30,270 --> 00:18:31,760
- OK. Thanks so much.
- Mm-hmm.
467
00:18:31,780 --> 00:18:33,200
- And goodbye, Max.
- Bye.
468
00:18:34,660 --> 00:18:35,999
Oh...
469
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,640
Your sister's very stressed
470
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:39,170
about having another baby.
471
00:18:39,180 --> 00:18:41,240
I know she is, Mom.
472
00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:43,850
Sometimes, I think about
having another baby.
473
00:18:47,820 --> 00:18:51,220
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
474
00:18:51,230 --> 00:18:54,160
[CRYING]
475
00:18:54,230 --> 00:18:55,770
Is this fence electrified?
476
00:18:55,780 --> 00:18:58,240
It wouldn't be that
bad, really. Would it?
477
00:18:58,250 --> 00:19:00,660
Why did I even bother
getting a Brazilian wax?
478
00:19:00,670 --> 00:19:01,679
You know?
479
00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:04,150
It's days like this where
it just doesn't matter.
480
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:05,460
You know what? Is it weird
481
00:19:05,470 --> 00:19:08,420
that I have no sensation down there?
482
00:19:08,430 --> 00:19:11,290
Nothing! I can't feel a thing.
483
00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:12,399
Oh, my God.
484
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:15,160
This is a lot like a date I had in 1997.
485
00:19:15,170 --> 00:19:17,560
I am cool and I'm wise
486
00:19:17,570 --> 00:19:19,369
And I'm larger than your life
487
00:19:19,370 --> 00:19:20,999
I am bigger than the sun
488
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:22,739
Watch me burning to the end
489
00:19:22,740 --> 00:19:24,579
Of all time, I'll be fine
490
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:25,839
Watch me breaking through
491
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:29,240
The finish line, finish line
492
00:19:29,260 --> 00:19:34,479
I am an army
493
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:36,779
I don't do what I'm told
494
00:19:36,780 --> 00:19:40,980
I'm your king...
495
00:19:41,030 --> 00:19:45,580
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