Original subtitles

- MAN: Are you sure it didn't happen? - Not to me, it didn't. Whatever it was.

Bye, Norman.

(Theme music)

Morning, Lolly.

Good morning, Mr Shenley.

Now, now, Lolly. You know our agreement.

Sorry. Good mornlng. Norman.

That's better.

Much better.

(Door opens)

Er... Good morning, sir.

- Mr Shenley? - Yes, lndeed.

Good morning. My name is Rayburn.

There is a property I should like to discuss With you.

| see. Are you disposing of or purchasing?

- Selling. - You're disposing of.

- Very well. Won't you sit down? - Thank you.

Now, then,

is the said property situated in the neighbourhood?

It's about 15 miles to the north,

on a lane off the 32134.

It's called Lower Moat Manor.

Lower Moat Manor.

You are the vendor. sir? The owner?

Er. no. I am the chief executor of the former owner's estate.

She died several years ago.

| see. Coffee?

I beg your pardon?

Would you like a cup of coffee?

My assistant, Miss Fellows, here, will ?x you a cup in a jiffy.

Oh, thank you, no. Thanks all the same.

- Erm, thank you. - Not at all.

When I say she died, actually she... disappeared,

But now she's been legally pronounced dead,

so I'm now in a position to put the house on the market.

- As chief executor? - Exactly.

And you want me to... arrange the transaction?

Well, I should like you to take a look at the place and discuss it with me.

I have drawn a rough map of how to get there.

And... here are the keys.

Right.

I shall go and have a look at it this very morning, Mr Rayburn.

I'd appreciate it. The executors want to get it off their hands

- as quickly as possible. - Leave it with me.

These old properties can still fetch a very good price.

I presume it is an old property?

Oh, certainly, yes.

Very old. With ten acres of ground. But not lived in for a number of years.

Yes, I understand. Not to worry.

I'll leave it with you for the moment.

- Good morning, Mr Sheniey. - Good morning.

Sounds as if it might fetch a good price.

Did you get his address?

No, but it'll be on this map.

That's funny. It isn't.

Or his phone number?

No. Well, never mind. He'll get in touch With us sooner or later.

Goodbye, sexy.

Won't be long.

Bye, Norman.

(Bird oawing)

(Door creaks)

(Blows whistle)

'Ello. 'ello, 'ello.

GHOSTLY VOICE: Hello.

You shouldn't have done it,

Mr Shenley.

You really shouldn't have killed her.

Killed who?

Your wife, of course.

But... my wife isn't dead.

You killed her... on Friday the 13th.

But... that's today.

- Exactly. - Well, she certainly isn't dead.

No, erm...

No, she just got my breakfast.

Erm... Wh-who are you?

The ?rst course is coming up...

Mr Shenley. (Rumbling)

(Gasps)

Argh!

- (Moans) - Norman!

Norman! Wake up!

For God's sake!

Norman! You're bloody killing me!

(Gasps for breath) What?

Oh, go on! Pretend it was a nightmare!

Getting rid of me, that's what you're up to.

Emily, for the love of God! It was terrible!

What was?

Oh, you're sweating like a pig!

You see... There was this house...

ltwas...

...haunted. And one of those service lifts - dumb waiters - in the dining room...

And?

Well, then suddenly it came up...

...and the doors opened...

And?

And, erm...

What's the time?

Half five.

And?

And a body fell out.

A body fell out.

Right.

Anyone we know?

(Whispers) No.

Anyone you know?

Oh. for God's sake. Don't start all that again.

I'm not starting anything again.

It's you that just about throttles me in the middle of the night.

- 5:30, actually. - Guilty conscience, perhaps.

- Go back to sleep. - I intend to.

(Sighs) Not worth it for me.

No.

I'll get my own breakfast and get to the of?ce early.

Good idea.

There's always, erm... plenty to do.

What time does she get there?

Who, dear?

Nothing.

(Shores)

(Clock chimes)

Oh, my God! You gave me a fright!

I often get in early.

You do? Why?

You know. The early bird.

What, and... me the worm?

Could be, Norman. Could be.

You erm...

You look... different, you know.

- From when? - Yesterday.

Yesterday was Sunday.

Rubbish.

Yesterday w...

My God, yes.

It was a terrible nightmare I had last night.

Did I come into it, darling?

No... No.

Er yes, but only in the beginning.

There was this old house a man wanted to sell.

I dreamt I drove out to have a look at it.

Are you sure it didn't happen?

Not to me, it didn't. Whatever it was.

And this dead woman fell out of the dumb waiter.

Charming! Not me, by any chance?

No, no. It was erm...

...my wife.

Ha!

Oh, well, that doesn't need much explaining!

But you don't have to kill her, Norman. Just divorce her.

But it was so real, Lolly. I can�t believe the place doesn't exist.

Lower Moat Manor, it was called.

Well, where was it?

In the dream, I mean.

It was about 15 miles north.

Well, why not try again?

Do you know, I think I might.

I've still got the map the man gave me.

I'll have a look... And then l'll erm...

Then I'll phone you.

Well, don't be long, love. We've got a date tonight.

Don't worry. It's engraved on my heart.

Hey, Norman, hang about.

If it was only a dream...

Dream? it was a bloody nightmare!

A nightmare, then. How come you've still got the map?

How come l've...?

Oh, God! I see what you mean.

What the hell's going on?

Well, start with the house - there or not.

Yes...

Yes.

Yes, start with the house. Yes.

(Laughs)

(Cows moo)

Norman Shenley's assistant.

- Lolly? - Yes, it's me. Any luck?

Not a sign of it.

- Did you follow directions on the map? - Yes, I did.

I've got it right...

Norman, are you there? Norman?

(Phone rings)

Hello?

MAN: You shouldn't have killed her, Mr Shenley.

- How did you get... - You shouldn't have killed your wife.

Who the hell are you? (Line goes dead)

Hey, you! Help me! I'm being... Help me!

You! Please, help!

Let me out!

Please! Please!

(Chokes)

Please! Help me! Please, get me...

(Coughs and splutters)

Please!

Please don't go away!

Please... Please, help me! Get me... I'm being... I'm being...

Please, I beg you! Oh!

0h!

Oh! Oh...

Lolly. my darling. Thank God you're here.

There was some kind of poisonous gas or something.

There, there. It's all right now.

Your Lolly's here.

Oh, my darling, my dearest. We must be for ever.

We must be.

LOLLY: Yes.

SHENLEY: llove you. I adore you.

(Alarm rings)

EMILY: Now what's going on?

What's all this "I love you, I love you" stuff?

Oh... I was dreaming.

Huh! For a moment, I thought i was!

I can't remember when you said it last.

You was making a funny noise, like kissing.

I don't know what was happening.

- It was another nightmare. - What do you mean. another nightmare?

Like the one I had last night.

No...

No... The night before, i mean.

First I've heard of it.

But I told you. The old house and the dumb waiter and...

- the body. - I don't know what you're talking about.

I can't believe... I can't believe the house wasn't there when i went back.

Who was it you were kissing?

I didn't know I was.

- Must've been a change for you. - You wouldn't be interested.

Not any more I wouldn't, knowing you was thinking of somebody else.

- You should do as I ask. - About what?

About giving me a divorce.

A divorce? Why on earth should I? It's not me that's done anything.

And what am I supposed to have done, for heaven's sake?

Oh, don't give me that! All those secretaries you've had. Assistants.

- You imagine these things. - All right.

I'll go and start the breakfast.

I know it was only a dream, Lolly, but it was wonderfully real. Wonderful.

You shouldn't say things like that to me.

Why not? Don't you want me to find you attractive?

- I don't mind. - Don't mind? Is that all?

No, I like it, Norman.

But a girl has to think of her reputation.

How do I know you're sincere?

Me? You know I'd marry you tomorrow

if I was free.

I believe you, Norm.

- So get free. - I'm doing my best, darling.

- How? - Well, I've asked for a divorce more than once.

Well, what if she keeps saying no?

- She'd better not! - Well, what if she does?

I can always pack it in and leave, can't I?

- Can you afford to pay? - Pay?

Well, keep two women - put it that way.

Well, I don't see why not. I don't do badly here.

No? Like that house you said you were dealing with?

Disappearing into thin air? First it was there, you said,

then it wasn't. In both dreams, you said.

That's right.

80... Now you're awake...

Third time lucky, perhaps?

You're right.

I think I'll have just one more look...

...just to satisfy myself.

- Oh, good morning. - Good morning, sir.

Er, my name is Shenley, of Shenley & Co estate agents.

I wonder if the owner of the house is available for a word.

Her Ladyship's still at breakfast, sir.

Well, I wonder if you'd be good enough to hand in my card.

Would you come this way, please, sir?

Thank you.

(Clock chimes)

- Looks a tricky job. - Very tricky, sir.

Going to give it a good clean, I expect.

Exactly, sir.

- Lady Strudwick will see you now, sir. - Oh, thank you.

(Clock chimes the hour)

MAID: Mr Shenley, your Ladyship.

Oh, how do you do, Lady Strudwick? It's very good of you to see me.

Not at all. I don't get many visitors these days.

Mabel, dear, bring another cup for Mr Shenley.

Very good, your Ladyship.

I must apologise for the disturbance in the hall.

Not atall.

I always insisted that the chandelier should be taken down once a year

and the pendants washed with soapy water.

I believe that is the usual practice.

Now, Mr Shenley, what can I do for you?

Well. Lady Strudwick, I have a rather strange story to tell.

How delightful! Pray, continue.

Well, last night... No, wait a minute...

It was several nights ago...

I dreamt that a Mr Rayburn...

Perhaps I should ?rst explain that I am an estate agent.

So it says on your card, Mr Shenley.

Oh, yes, of course. And I think I may say, without undue modesty,

to be the leading one in this neck of the woods.

"Neck of the woods"! What a delightfully colourful phrase!

- Pray, continue. - Well...

This Mr Rayburn asked me to look over this house,

Lower Moat Manor, with a view to selling.

And a very pretty view, I always think.

So I drove out here... Erm...

It was empty, as far as I could make out, and very run-down.

I came into this room and erm...

Well, behind that chiffonier, there was a dumb waiter.

How very interesting!

It came up from below. In my dream, of course.

Yes, yes, I follow you.

Do you take milk, Mr Shenley, and sugar?

Milk, please. No sugar.

- Pray, continue. - Er, well, er...

It turned out to be quite... a, a nightmare.

Quite horrific.

But when I woke up,"

or thought I had...

and tried to find this house, it wasn't here.

Oh, good! What a lovely surprise!

Oh, I'm so in sympathy with you, Mr Shenley.

"Such stuff as dreams are made on."

Not "made of", which he often quoted wrongly.

- Do continue. And your tea. - Thank you.

Er, well, now I've come back and, erm...

I was wondering, would you think it very forward of me

if I asked to look behind that piece of furniture? Just to see

- ifthe dumb waiter's still there. - Please do.

(Hollow thud) - Ah!

Have you discovered something, Mr Shenley?

No, Lady Strudwick, but it has a distinctly hollow sound.

You see, this is where the dumb waiter would have been. Listen.

GHOSTLY VOICE: Come in.

Is something the matter, Mr Shenley?

I thought I heard someone say, "Come in."

Oh, quite possibly.

I believe some stupid girl got herself walled in many years ago.

No, but I mean...

I must have been hearing things.

I am a great believer in psychical manifestations, Mr Shenley.

I haven't been up to now.

Iconsider that your ?rst dream was a glimpse into the past.

And the second, when this house wasn't here...

into the future.

Are you considering selling the house, then?

I mean, that's really what I'm here for.

Do you know the expression, "One might as well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb?"

Yes, of course.

I have a problem concerning this house.

Do you smoke, Mr Shenley?

Er, thank you. Yes, I do.

(Box plays tune) Balkan Sobranie this side.

Virgins in the middle and Turkish the other side.

GHOSTLY VOICE: You shouldn't have done it Mr Shenley.

Oh, my God! No!

Such a pretty little tune.

Help me! Help me!

- VOICE: You shouldn't have killed your wife. - I can't help you, Mr Shenley.

You see... I'm dead.

Aren't you?

Mr Rayburn will take care of everything.

(Chokes)

EMILY: Trying to strangle yourself!

Help me get this bloody thing off!

You pulled it off me in the night, then round and round your neck!

- Trying to strangle me! - Not me!

It's you that twist and turn and laugh and kiss.

- I don't know what there is to laugh at! - (Laughs)

God! What's happening to me?

Try and get back to normal. Bath, breakfast, office... sweet mystery of life.

Sorry, mate.

Another bloody... nightmare.

- That house we talked about yesterday. - What house?

Lower Moat Manor, for God's sake.

What other house? The one I've been dreaming about.

First it's there, then it's not, then it's there again. A bloody hangman this time!

Easy does it, Norman lad.

Just because you go on dreaming, there's no call to take it out on me.

No, no, of course not, Lolly. I'm sorry. Forgive me, darling.

LOLLY: Mmm...

And erm...

What's on the agenda?

That block of flats.

Oh, yes.

They're in a terrible state.

Well, perhaps they can be patched up and renovated.

Anyway, let's go and survey them. Damn it all, I am a surveyor.

And aftenvards?

After what?

After we've sun/eyed.

What did you have in mind?

I thought you might take me out.

- To dinner? - Why not?

Why not indeed?

What are you going to tell your wife?

You leave that to me, sweetheart.

Just get her on the blower.

- Mmmm! - (Giggles)

- EMILY: Yes? - Mrs Shenley?

- Yes? - I have Mr Shenley for you.

- Hello? - Yes?

- It's Norman, dear. - So I gathered.

- You're gonna be late home? - How did you guess?

There's a property you can only see over at night?

Absolutely right.

You don't expect to be home till after midnight?

Probably not.

You rotten sod! You don't fool me!

Now, Emily...

You don't sell anything on these nightly excursions, do you? Or do you? And what?

Look, if you're so bloody fed up, why don't you give me a divorce?

Because I wouldn't wish you onto any other poor sucker of a woman.

Well, if you're going to be like that.

- Bitch. - Well done, Norman.

- Keep it up! - Bitch. One of these days...

One of these days soon, Norman. Soon.

I mean, she's got no understanding. No sympathy. I've...

Nightmares - not a word. Not a word!

There, there. Not to worry.

Lolly'll look after you.

Lolly'll love you.

Lolly will come with lovely Norman

to survey the silly old block of flats.

(Rings bell)

- Vandals. - Little bastards.

Press caretaker's bell, 8:30 to 6:30.

Well, it's a quarter to five.

Funny way to greet your surveyor if they really want to know the facts.

I wouldn't want to live here.

I'd have it demolished, pronto.

Well, it might be worth reclaiming if the bUilding itself is sound.

OK, no caretaker. What do we do now?

We start at the roof and work down.

Let me drive. Which floor?

The top.

- Darling, darling. - Oh, yes, Norman?

I'll pack up and leave tomorrow.

Kiss me.

(Giggles)

First time in a lift!

(Lift stops)

Four floors - not enough.

Not as nice as a phone box. is it, Lolly?

As a...?

Phone box. Don't you re... Oh, no. That was a dream, wasn't it?

How do we get up to the roof? Up the apples, darling.

- You first. - All right, lover.

Are you ready, Miss Fellows?

Aye, aye, darling.

Flat roof. Lead. Badly eroded.

Gutters rusting. Paintwork peeling.

Got that?

Sort of.

- Norman... - What?

Come here a sec.

- What? - Look down there.

That's nothing. Just maintenance.

Well, I don't like the look of it. And me perched up here.

Don't you trust me, Lolly? Would I expose you to anything dangerous?

I don't think that's funny.

It's not meant to be funny.

Anyhow, I want out, for one.

All right, darling. We'll go down.

Well, get it open, Norman!

God Almighty! They're going to knock us down!

- No, no! They'd never have sent me here. - Where?

- Where did they send you? - Well, here. of course.

What does it say on there?

Campbell Building, C-block. That's right, isn't it?

That's wrong, you halfwit! This is A-block!

- It's not. - it is! I saw it as we came in.

God Almighty!

(Crash)

(Screams)

(Crash)

K-keep your head, Norman. Keep your head!

(Crash)

Come on... Lolly...

One more! One more!

Lolly...

- Where are you? - Can I help you, Mr Shenley?

(Laughs) I am the "cartaker"!

Let me wake up. Dear God, let me wake up!

You shouldn't have done it, Mr Shenley.

You shouldn't have killed your wife.

- There's something very wrong. - What?

ldo all I can.

I can't hear you! What?

He's so stubborn!

I think we should make an appointment.

GHOSTLY VOICE OF LOLLY: Appointment...

AppointmenL.

Something very wrong...

EMILY: Yes, Doctor.

When I've spoken to him, I'll phone you back and make an appointment.

Yes, very worrying.

And there's something else.

He has formed a...

Well... a liaison with his secretary.

I suppose it's an affair, though that would surprise me

as he hasn't shown any enthusiasm in that department for a number of years.

Yes, Doctor, of course.

Thank you. Goodbye.

Norman... Norman.

Mm? You what?

You've overslept again.

Ihave? Oh...

That's unlike me.

All these dreams.

All what dreams?

I told you. The old house.

The telephone booth.

And now the... the demolition site.

I haven't the faintest idea what you're on about.

No, I suppose not.

But one thing I do know. You're not yourself.

No? Oh.

Perhaps that's just as well.

What does that mean?

Nothing.

You ought to see Dr Melbury.

Why?

Because I say so.

And if I tell him I want a divorce

and he agrees with me, will you give me one?

Divorce?!

- We have talked about it before, you know. - When?

Yesterday, just before I went to do the survey on that block of ?a...

Then I... I was on the roof.

You see, it's all a dream. It's been going on now for days!

You see? You do need to see the doctor.

All right, but I also need a divorce.

Well...

You go and be looked at first and then we'll talk about it.

Very well.

I'll go and ring for an appointment. Now, drink your tea.

You can see clearly this mass adjacent to the brain cells.

Very clearly.

And the radiologist says there's no doubt about it, I'm afraid.

It's a tumour on the brain.

It's serious, then.

Very serious.

If we're to succeed, you must go straight into hospital and have it removed.

- I see. - Then there's really no alternative.

Is there, Norman?

No.

No. No, let's get it over with as quickly as possible.

(Heart monitor bleeps)

Scalpel.

- Saw. - There's something not qUite right here, sir.

- Huh? - Heartbeat irregular. Very irregular.

SURGEON: Oxygen.

It seems to be going.

(Machine bleeps erratically)

ANAESTHETIST: Not responding.

(Bleeping slows down)

Pulse weak, to zero. Falling.

(Bleeping slows further)

Heart stopped.

ANAESTHETIST: He's gone.

Poor chap.

There's nothing we could do.

Nothing. Flawed heart.

I'll go and geta porter.

The porters are on strike.

Then we'll wheel him down ourselves.

(Snoring)

(Snoring continues)

(Muffled cries)

Aaaaargh!

(Children playing in street)

(Clock chimes)

(Clock chimes the hour)

(Phone rings)

Shenley's office. Good morning.

MAN. ls Mr Shenley there?

He hasn't come in yet. Who's speaking?

When do you expect him?

He usually comes in at nine.

Who is speaking?

I'll ring back a bit later.

- Lolly... - Good morning, Mr Shenley.

Lolly, I expect you're wondering why I'm turning up at ten ack-emma

instead of nine.

There was a phone call for you

a minute ago, but the gentleman wouldn't leave a message-

Lolly, Lolly... Guess what.

No idea, Mr Shenley.

I'm now free to marry you.

You're what?

- Like I said I would. - Mr Shenley, don't.

Back to "Mr Shenley", is it?

Well, we'll soon see about that. Oh, yes.

Come on! Take a gander at this! That's why I'm late.

Took me some time to make up my mind.

Go on, open it.

Open it.

Diamonds!

- But! don't get it, Mr Shenley. - But you've got it, Lolly.

You see... This is for all we've meant to each other...

(Police siren approaching)

in the past and will go on meaning... now.

Are you feeling all right, Mr Shenley?

All right? I'm on top of the world!

Because now we can be together till death us do part.

Please, Mr Shenley! Please!

What are you up to? What's the matter?

Darling, darling, Lolly. I know it was only a dream, but let's make the most of it.

Let's keep it a dream. A simple dream. No more nightmares.

Well, who have we here?

- Hello. Mr Shenley? - That�s me, in person.

I don't suppose you remember me, sir.

Oh, but I do. I do.

Three months ago, this office was broken into. You called the police. I was...

Yes, but I've seen you since then.

You have? I, I don't recall...

Oh, yes. Mr Rayburn. The tramp.

The "car taker". Caretaker.

And that rogue of a surgeon.

I'm not quite with you, Mr Shenley.

Oh, I'm getting used to it.

To what exactly, sir?

Along, long dream.

One into the other.

Like... death.

Death, sir?

Mr Shenley, I have to ask you a few questions.

Fire away.

When you left your house this morning...

- Oh, but did I? - Pardon?

Well, I may have done or I may not have done,

depending where I am in the dream.

Well, let us put it this way. If you left your house this morning,

- was everything as usual? - Oh, yes.

Much the same as any other morning.

Except, of course, this time my wife was dead.

That is correct, sir.

I suppose I should've been surprised that she was found so quickly, but I'm not.

It seems there's no sense of time in dreams.

But I'll tell you one thing. Do you know, it was all in colour.

Your Wife's sister called at the house

- and found her in the bedroom. - That's right.

Except, of course, my wife doesn't have a sister.

You shouldn't have killed your wife,

- Mr Shenley. - That's it!

That's the voice on the speaking tube,

in the telephone booth

- and the cigarette box. - Mr Shenley,

I must ask you to accompany me to the station.

What? To er...

To help you with your enquiries? Of course I will. Happy to oblige.

And before you know it, quite a different dream will begin.

- What makes you think this is a dream? - I'll tell you. You see,

when the dream began, you told me that I'd killed my wife

on Friday the 13th. Well, Friday the 13th must have been several days ago.

No, Mr Shenley.

Today is Friday the 13th.

Oh, my God. No...

No, it's not.

No. Erm, look, erm...

I-I-I never killed Emily. No, she erm...

She fell out of bed and erm... hit her head on the floor.

Come along, sir.

No, but it's... it's not fair. I...

I thought it was still a dream.

Lolly... Tell them I love you. Tell them I only did it so we could be married.

She insisted, Inspector! She wouldn't let me touch her unless...

Stand up, please!

- I... - I don't know what he's on about. Honestly.

Not to worry, miss. We'll take care of him.

I know it's a dream. It's more like a dream than all the other things!

- Is he nutty or something? - We'll work something out.

Don't let them take me away. I did it for you.

I love you! Lolly, please! Don't let them lake me away!

Would you mind coming down to the station later

- and making a statement? - I'd be happy to, Inspector.

Thank you.

Spooky, isn't it?

(Chuckles) You could say that.

You know where I hang out, do you?

I'll find my way.

Good. I'll see you, then.

(Phone rings)

Shenley's.

MAN. ls Mr Shenley there?

He isn't here at the moment. Can I help you?

My name is Rayburn.

Yes, Mr Rayburn?

I represent a property called Lower Moat Manor.

Lower Moat Manor.

I should like to place the property on the market.

When will Mr Shenley be back in the office?

It's very difficult to say at the moment, sir.

It may be some time.

(Line goes dead)

(End theme music)

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