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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:07,199 - You close with your family? - We get on with it. 2 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:08,799 I have this amazing new partner out there. 3 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,359 He's really pushed the company forward. 4 00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:11,679 She's commuting from Finland. 5 00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:13,879 - Any friends? - Sorry? 6 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:16,399 - Does your little cafe do canapes? - Yeah, it totally could. 7 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:18,039 And I will hire you to do the canapes. 8 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:20,872 Just... a girl with no friends and an empty heart? 9 00:00:20,897 --> 00:00:23,505 - By your own description. - I have friends. 10 00:00:23,530 --> 00:00:24,958 Oh, have you got to go back to Finland again? 11 00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:27,583 - No, Finland are coming here. - Oh! That's easier for you. 12 00:00:27,607 --> 00:00:29,846 Sex didn't bring anything... good. 13 00:00:29,847 --> 00:00:32,086 And what have you found in your abstinence? 14 00:00:32,087 --> 00:00:33,606 Oh, God, I fancy a priest. 15 00:00:33,607 --> 00:00:34,886 Thank you so much for helping. 16 00:00:34,887 --> 00:00:37,212 Father, we have a cupcake situation over here! 17 00:00:37,236 --> 00:00:38,926 - Okay, Pam! - Arm touch. 18 00:00:38,927 --> 00:00:40,385 - I'm sorry for your loss. - What? 19 00:00:40,409 --> 00:00:41,566 Your baby. 20 00:00:41,567 --> 00:00:42,606 Does Martin know? 21 00:00:42,607 --> 00:00:44,235 You're not supposed to tell anyone for the first twelve... 22 00:00:44,260 --> 00:00:45,274 You can tell the father. 23 00:00:45,299 --> 00:00:47,566 - Yes, Father? - Come on, have a read. 24 00:00:47,567 --> 00:00:50,526 And if you ever want to talk about stuff, I'm here, you know. 25 00:00:50,527 --> 00:00:52,567 You can come whenever you want. 26 00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:55,646 I'd like you to come. 27 00:00:55,647 --> 00:00:56,687 If it helps. 28 00:00:59,359 --> 00:01:02,488 [HOLY MUSIC] 29 00:01:09,967 --> 00:01:11,127 [SHE GASPS] 30 00:01:14,207 --> 00:01:17,527 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 31 00:01:17,607 --> 00:01:18,766 Just don't... 32 00:01:18,767 --> 00:01:21,606 ...talk too much or try to pretend you know anything about the company. 33 00:01:21,607 --> 00:01:24,006 - Okay. - And don't be funny or clever or... 34 00:01:24,007 --> 00:01:25,766 Just don't be the centre of attention. 35 00:01:25,767 --> 00:01:27,890 These people are very important to me, so just don't... 36 00:01:27,914 --> 00:01:30,476 - Okay. - ...don't be yourself. 37 00:01:31,487 --> 00:01:32,527 I won't. 38 00:01:35,787 --> 00:01:37,967 - [FLEABAG BREAKS WIND] - For fuck's sake! 39 00:01:41,087 --> 00:01:43,538 I know people in this building, anyone could come... 40 00:01:43,563 --> 00:01:44,963 [LIFT PINGS] 41 00:01:45,887 --> 00:01:47,711 - Hi, Claire. - Hello, Leslie. 42 00:01:53,607 --> 00:01:55,563 [LESLIE SNIFFS] 43 00:01:56,767 --> 00:01:59,169 Oh, that's lovely. What is that? 44 00:02:02,447 --> 00:02:03,726 We have a load of vegetarians, 45 00:02:03,751 --> 00:02:05,474 so make sure it's clear which ones have meat in them. 46 00:02:05,498 --> 00:02:06,433 Loves a crisis. 47 00:02:06,458 --> 00:02:07,891 We have a couple of waitresses for the drinks, 48 00:02:07,916 --> 00:02:09,321 so if you could hand round the food... 49 00:02:09,346 --> 00:02:11,485 Put her in a quiet room with a nice breeze, she'll have a panic attack. 50 00:02:11,510 --> 00:02:13,532 - Where is everyone? - She's so happy. 51 00:02:13,556 --> 00:02:15,437 God, this is stressful. 52 00:02:16,087 --> 00:02:18,446 Don't be weird about how big my office is. 53 00:02:18,447 --> 00:02:20,166 What the fuck? 54 00:02:20,167 --> 00:02:21,566 - I know. - Are you a...? 55 00:02:21,567 --> 00:02:23,366 It's over the top, I know. 56 00:02:23,367 --> 00:02:24,806 Okay. Put them on the table. 57 00:02:24,807 --> 00:02:25,966 Not that table. 58 00:02:25,967 --> 00:02:28,286 - Ooh. You okay? - Of course. 59 00:02:28,287 --> 00:02:30,486 It's just that it's a big night and the Finnish partners 60 00:02:30,487 --> 00:02:32,606 are here, so it's all a bit... 61 00:02:32,607 --> 00:02:34,806 - Oh, check the award. - Why? 62 00:02:34,807 --> 00:02:37,366 Just to make sure it's not pink or anything horrifically female. 63 00:02:37,367 --> 00:02:38,406 She'll loathe that. 64 00:02:38,407 --> 00:02:40,446 Be careful with it. It's worth thousands. 65 00:02:40,447 --> 00:02:42,206 - It's not pink. - Good. 66 00:02:42,207 --> 00:02:43,846 It's perfect. It looks like a sperm. 67 00:02:43,847 --> 00:02:45,726 - Your hair looks nice. - Shut up. 68 00:02:45,727 --> 00:02:46,766 Okay. 69 00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:48,526 Don't sit on that! 70 00:02:48,527 --> 00:02:50,366 Okay, put those on the posh plates. 71 00:02:50,367 --> 00:02:51,846 Put the award behind the microphone. 72 00:02:51,847 --> 00:02:52,887 Oh, and, um... 73 00:02:58,927 --> 00:03:00,446 ...thank you. 74 00:03:00,447 --> 00:03:02,126 You've really, uh... 75 00:03:02,127 --> 00:03:03,207 Thank you. 76 00:03:05,847 --> 00:03:06,967 Don't play with that. 77 00:03:12,727 --> 00:03:14,927 Oh, that's heavy. Argh! 78 00:03:18,247 --> 00:03:20,886 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck... 79 00:03:20,887 --> 00:03:22,528 God... 80 00:03:23,647 --> 00:03:25,447 [BELL TOLLS] 81 00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:34,727 [SHE GASPS] 82 00:03:42,807 --> 00:03:44,166 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 83 00:03:44,167 --> 00:03:46,167 Excuse me, excuse me... 84 00:03:51,407 --> 00:03:52,447 [SHE SIGHS] 85 00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:01,929 Where have you been? 86 00:04:01,953 --> 00:04:03,350 Sorry, I had to get the vegetarian bites. 87 00:04:03,375 --> 00:04:04,656 But it's all fine. You're going to love them. 88 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:06,246 You're sweating so much. 89 00:04:06,247 --> 00:04:07,766 - Sorry. - It's attention grabbing. 90 00:04:07,767 --> 00:04:08,887 It's only on one side. 91 00:04:10,087 --> 00:04:13,006 Um, sorry, this is Sylvia. 92 00:04:13,007 --> 00:04:15,006 She's going to be presenting the award, so... 93 00:04:15,007 --> 00:04:16,846 ...when you hear me introduce her, get on the stage. 94 00:04:16,847 --> 00:04:19,046 - Hi. - Has this got shellfish in it? 95 00:04:19,047 --> 00:04:20,966 - No. - Fine. 96 00:04:20,967 --> 00:04:23,846 Four CEOs have been fired. Two are being taken to court. 97 00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:26,646 I mean, it's just sad. We felt like a family. 98 00:04:26,647 --> 00:04:29,046 Yeah. Especially sad when you have to tell your family not to 99 00:04:29,047 --> 00:04:30,966 touch each other up by the photocopier. 100 00:04:30,967 --> 00:04:32,247 [THEY LAUGH] 101 00:04:33,327 --> 00:04:35,526 - Stop making jokes. - I'm sorry, I can't help it. 102 00:04:35,527 --> 00:04:37,686 Well, you can. Oh, Belinda's coming. 103 00:04:37,687 --> 00:04:39,366 Don't speak to Belinda. 104 00:04:39,367 --> 00:04:42,446 - Hello, Claire. - Hello, Belinda. 105 00:04:42,447 --> 00:04:44,326 - God, you're tasteful. - Mmm. 106 00:04:44,327 --> 00:04:45,367 Oh, are these meaty? 107 00:04:50,927 --> 00:04:52,440 Say something. 108 00:04:52,464 --> 00:04:53,642 No, I think they have courgette in them. 109 00:04:53,667 --> 00:04:55,646 Oh, I love courgette. 110 00:04:55,647 --> 00:04:58,979 You can treat them appallingly and they still grow. 111 00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:05,566 - She seems lovely. - Yeah, she's great. 112 00:05:05,567 --> 00:05:08,366 - So, who are you so nervous about? - I'm not nervous. 113 00:05:08,367 --> 00:05:09,526 I'm being completely... 114 00:05:09,527 --> 00:05:10,646 Claire! 115 00:05:10,647 --> 00:05:12,144 Oh! Hi! 116 00:05:12,169 --> 00:05:15,286 Oh! God, sorry. I'm so glad you could come. 117 00:05:15,287 --> 00:05:17,366 Of course. It's my job. 118 00:05:17,367 --> 00:05:19,316 This is my catering. She's the sister. 119 00:05:19,340 --> 00:05:20,300 Hi. 120 00:05:20,301 --> 00:05:23,286 I ate a sausage over there thinking it was a prune. 121 00:05:23,287 --> 00:05:26,326 15 years of vegetarianism, gone! Like bang, bang! 122 00:05:26,327 --> 00:05:27,806 [THEY LAUGH] 123 00:05:27,807 --> 00:05:29,000 We do actually call them bangers. 124 00:05:29,025 --> 00:05:30,886 Ah, that's funny! 125 00:05:30,887 --> 00:05:32,390 Yes, it was. 126 00:05:33,847 --> 00:05:35,606 So, how do you two know each other? 127 00:05:35,607 --> 00:05:37,286 BOTH: We are partners... 128 00:05:37,287 --> 00:05:38,499 - Business partners. - Yes. 129 00:05:38,524 --> 00:05:40,110 She's been working with me in Finland. 130 00:05:40,134 --> 00:05:41,046 - Yes! - And... 131 00:05:41,071 --> 00:05:43,206 - We don't get to see each other that much. - No, exactly. 132 00:05:43,207 --> 00:05:44,806 - I'm a big fan. - I'm a huge... 133 00:05:44,807 --> 00:05:46,593 Thank you... admirer. 134 00:05:49,607 --> 00:05:51,966 I'm going to get a drink. Do you want anything? 135 00:05:51,967 --> 00:05:53,806 Oh, champagne, please. 136 00:05:53,807 --> 00:05:55,526 Oh, off the wagon? 137 00:05:55,527 --> 00:05:57,166 Just when I'm with you. 138 00:05:57,167 --> 00:05:58,646 [THEY LAUGH] 139 00:05:58,647 --> 00:06:00,926 Let's go fucking crazy tonight, then. 140 00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:02,686 Hmm? 141 00:06:02,711 --> 00:06:05,917 - What did you say? - No, no, I... I was... 142 00:06:05,942 --> 00:06:07,886 - No, what did you say? - Oh, just... 143 00:06:07,887 --> 00:06:11,606 I just said, "Let's go fuck like crazy tonight." 144 00:06:12,167 --> 00:06:13,446 Oh, God. 145 00:06:13,447 --> 00:06:14,807 Okay! 146 00:06:17,567 --> 00:06:18,927 [NERVOUS LAUGHTER] 147 00:06:24,807 --> 00:06:27,467 - Shut up. - Oh, my God! 148 00:06:27,492 --> 00:06:30,547 He is a very good businessman. He's just socially sort of... 149 00:06:30,572 --> 00:06:32,149 - What's...? - Shut up. 150 00:06:32,174 --> 00:06:33,303 Claire! 151 00:06:33,328 --> 00:06:35,080 Please don't, please don't. I can't cope. 152 00:06:35,104 --> 00:06:37,104 - Okay? - Okay. 153 00:06:37,167 --> 00:06:38,407 What's his name? 154 00:06:40,047 --> 00:06:41,327 What's his name? 155 00:06:42,767 --> 00:06:44,047 Klare. 156 00:06:46,167 --> 00:06:48,686 What? 157 00:06:48,687 --> 00:06:50,846 His name is Klare. 158 00:06:50,847 --> 00:06:52,287 Don't. 159 00:06:53,503 --> 00:06:56,967 Oh, God, I have to announce. Okay, mingle, but don't talk to anyone. 160 00:06:56,992 --> 00:06:58,673 - Okay. - I'm not in love with him. 161 00:06:58,697 --> 00:07:00,415 Okay. 162 00:07:06,047 --> 00:07:10,460 Hi, everyone. I am very proud to announce the nominees 163 00:07:10,485 --> 00:07:14,460 for the Women in Business Awards, sponsored by us here at Hurbots. 164 00:07:14,485 --> 00:07:19,453 Amongst our exceptional women, we have Georgina Franks. 165 00:07:19,508 --> 00:07:21,663 [APPLAUSE] 166 00:07:21,887 --> 00:07:23,483 Belinda Friers. 167 00:07:25,647 --> 00:07:28,046 And another extraordinary woman... 168 00:07:28,047 --> 00:07:29,687 ...Klare Korhonen. 169 00:07:32,527 --> 00:07:35,526 Sorry, I think there's been a mistake, here. 170 00:07:35,527 --> 00:07:36,927 Elizabeth Sawkin. 171 00:07:40,487 --> 00:07:42,086 Congratulations to you all. 172 00:07:42,087 --> 00:07:45,433 Have a wonderful evening. We'll be presenting the award very soon. 173 00:07:45,458 --> 00:07:48,177 I'm going to introduce Sylvia, who's going to introduce Belinda. 174 00:07:48,202 --> 00:07:50,366 When you hear me introducing Sylvia, get her on stage. 175 00:07:50,367 --> 00:07:52,566 - It has to go like cockwork. - Like what? 176 00:07:52,567 --> 00:07:54,089 Cockwork. 177 00:07:54,113 --> 00:07:55,366 Claire, your brain is somewhere else right now. 178 00:07:55,367 --> 00:07:57,126 Sylvia, go! 179 00:07:57,127 --> 00:07:59,046 Sylvia! 180 00:07:59,047 --> 00:08:01,047 [SHE VOMITS] 181 00:08:04,487 --> 00:08:06,616 Crap. 182 00:08:06,641 --> 00:08:10,406 A huge thanks to Matthew, Mark, Luke and John for coming up 183 00:08:10,431 --> 00:08:13,397 with this award. And to LinkedIn for connecting us all 184 00:08:13,422 --> 00:08:14,920 this evening and beyond. 185 00:08:14,921 --> 00:08:18,440 I am so excited to introduce Sylvia Hamburg, 186 00:08:18,441 --> 00:08:20,640 this year's winner of Women Who Work, 187 00:08:20,641 --> 00:08:24,040 who will announce this year's Best Woman in Business. 188 00:08:24,041 --> 00:08:25,520 Sylvia. 189 00:08:25,521 --> 00:08:26,841 What a legend! 190 00:08:37,121 --> 00:08:38,681 I'll do it! 191 00:08:39,761 --> 00:08:42,120 I can do it. 192 00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:46,204 I'm sorry, it appears that Sylvia is busy, 193 00:08:46,229 --> 00:08:48,681 which shouldn't come as a surprise, really. 194 00:08:50,618 --> 00:08:54,280 I-It's been a big year for business... 195 00:08:54,281 --> 00:08:56,080 ...particularly women in business. 196 00:08:56,081 --> 00:08:59,201 Men have been pretty hands-on the past few decades. 197 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:00,664 [LAUGHS] 198 00:09:01,321 --> 00:09:04,600 I'd like to thank all the brilliant men and women 199 00:09:04,601 --> 00:09:06,840 for supporting each other here at Hurbots. 200 00:09:06,841 --> 00:09:08,720 We're a family, really. 201 00:09:08,721 --> 00:09:11,160 And if we've learned anything during the past 12 months, 202 00:09:11,161 --> 00:09:13,360 it's that family really shouldn't touch each other up 203 00:09:13,361 --> 00:09:14,881 next to the photocopier. 204 00:09:14,905 --> 00:09:17,051 [LAUGHTER] 205 00:09:18,961 --> 00:09:23,582 I am honoured to present this award to this year's 206 00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,984 Best Woman in Business... 207 00:09:26,361 --> 00:09:28,006 ...Belinda Friers. 208 00:09:28,031 --> 00:09:30,162 Fuck's sake! 209 00:09:30,186 --> 00:09:32,272 [APPLAUSE] 210 00:09:53,041 --> 00:09:54,681 Thank you, thank you. 211 00:09:55,921 --> 00:09:57,321 Well, um... 212 00:09:59,921 --> 00:10:01,819 Well, I was going to say this is a bit on the nose, 213 00:10:01,844 --> 00:10:03,787 - but she doesn't seem to have one. - [LAUGHTER] 214 00:10:04,161 --> 00:10:06,120 - What were you thinking? - It'll be fine. 215 00:10:06,121 --> 00:10:09,522 It's not fine. I awarded her with a pair of tits. 216 00:10:10,241 --> 00:10:12,520 - Chase her down. - Chase her down? 217 00:10:12,521 --> 00:10:14,080 It's a stolen piece of art. 218 00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:16,000 I will deal with the photographer. 219 00:10:16,001 --> 00:10:19,114 Claire! Oh, my God! You were brilliant! 220 00:10:19,139 --> 00:10:20,400 Thank you, Klare. 221 00:10:20,401 --> 00:10:21,720 I love the joke. 222 00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:24,440 Oh, well, I didn't think it was that funny. 223 00:10:24,441 --> 00:10:26,760 - Can you go, my love?! - I'm just going to... 224 00:10:26,761 --> 00:10:29,160 - Take the stairs. - Okay. 225 00:10:29,161 --> 00:10:31,321 [THUNDER RUMBLES] 226 00:10:48,801 --> 00:10:50,280 I'm trained in martial arts. 227 00:10:50,281 --> 00:10:52,360 It's just the basics, but it is enough. 228 00:10:52,361 --> 00:10:55,015 - I work at Harbots. - Hurbots. 229 00:10:56,001 --> 00:10:58,480 Yes, I ate a courgette off your tray. 230 00:10:58,481 --> 00:11:00,640 - Yeah, it was delicious. - Thank you. 231 00:11:00,641 --> 00:11:01,961 What do you want? 232 00:11:02,961 --> 00:11:05,360 That. 233 00:11:05,361 --> 00:11:08,040 I need to take your award back. 234 00:11:08,041 --> 00:11:09,120 Why? 235 00:11:09,121 --> 00:11:10,986 It's a stolen piece of art. It's not really an award. 236 00:11:11,011 --> 00:11:12,800 It's all my fault. I can explain. 237 00:11:12,801 --> 00:11:14,560 Is it a long story? 238 00:11:14,561 --> 00:11:15,961 Sort of. 239 00:11:17,881 --> 00:11:21,080 And she still doesn't know you have it? 240 00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:24,480 That's glorious! I think you did exactly the right thing. 241 00:11:24,481 --> 00:11:26,880 I think you're the only person who thinks that. 242 00:11:26,881 --> 00:11:28,280 God! 243 00:11:28,281 --> 00:11:29,960 Women's awards. 244 00:11:29,961 --> 00:11:31,320 Congratulations. 245 00:11:31,321 --> 00:11:34,600 Oh! It's infantilising bollocks. 246 00:11:34,601 --> 00:11:36,434 What? Don't you think it's good that...? 247 00:11:36,459 --> 00:11:38,284 No, no, it's ghettoising. 248 00:11:38,309 --> 00:11:40,551 It's a subsection of success. 249 00:11:41,521 --> 00:11:44,680 Ah, it's a fucking children's table of awards. 250 00:11:44,681 --> 00:11:46,680 Why did you go? 251 00:11:46,681 --> 00:11:48,520 Because I'd be an arsehole not to. 252 00:11:48,521 --> 00:11:49,800 Miss Friers. 253 00:11:49,801 --> 00:11:51,001 Thank you, darling. 254 00:11:52,641 --> 00:11:53,960 Gosh, she's hot. 255 00:11:53,961 --> 00:11:55,280 Yeah. 256 00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:56,720 Are you a lesbian? 257 00:11:56,721 --> 00:11:58,200 Not strictly. 258 00:11:58,201 --> 00:11:59,800 - You? - Mm. 259 00:11:59,801 --> 00:12:01,599 - Do you like old films? - Some. 260 00:12:01,624 --> 00:12:03,533 And what's your favourite period film? 261 00:12:04,921 --> 00:12:06,401 Carrie. 262 00:12:06,753 --> 00:12:09,041 [BOTH LAUGH] 263 00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:10,960 God! 264 00:12:10,961 --> 00:12:13,640 God, you are a tonic. 265 00:12:13,641 --> 00:12:15,560 What do you do? Are you a woman in business? 266 00:12:15,561 --> 00:12:18,574 - I run a cafe. - Oh! Good for you. 267 00:12:19,721 --> 00:12:21,400 Did you make the canapes? 268 00:12:21,401 --> 00:12:23,261 No, actually. I stole them. 269 00:12:26,441 --> 00:12:28,280 - How old are you? - 58. 270 00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:29,751 - And you? - 33. 271 00:12:29,775 --> 00:12:30,851 Oh. 272 00:12:30,876 --> 00:12:33,600 - Don't worry. It does get better. - Do you promise? 273 00:12:33,601 --> 00:12:35,360 I promise. 274 00:12:35,361 --> 00:12:40,303 Listen, I was in an aeroplane the other day and I realised... 275 00:12:40,328 --> 00:12:43,679 Well, I... I mean, I've been longing to say this out loud. 276 00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:49,182 Women are born with pain built in. 277 00:12:49,761 --> 00:12:51,800 It's our physical destiny. 278 00:12:51,801 --> 00:12:55,481 Period pains, sore boobs, childbirth, you know. 279 00:12:56,641 --> 00:13:00,240 We carry it within ourselves throughout our lives. 280 00:13:00,241 --> 00:13:01,600 Men don't. 281 00:13:01,601 --> 00:13:03,120 They have to seek it out. 282 00:13:03,121 --> 00:13:05,160 They invent all these gods and demons and things 283 00:13:05,161 --> 00:13:07,080 just so they can feel guilty about things, 284 00:13:07,105 --> 00:13:10,080 which is something we do very well on our own. 285 00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:13,280 And then they create wars, so they can feel things 286 00:13:13,281 --> 00:13:15,224 and touch each other, and when there aren't any wars 287 00:13:15,248 --> 00:13:16,340 they can play rugby. 288 00:13:16,365 --> 00:13:20,080 And we have it all going on in here, inside. 289 00:13:20,081 --> 00:13:24,055 We have pain on a cycle for years and years and years 290 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:28,180 and then, just when you feel you are making peace with it all, 291 00:13:28,205 --> 00:13:29,760 what happens? 292 00:13:29,761 --> 00:13:31,040 The menopause comes. 293 00:13:31,041 --> 00:13:34,007 The fucking menopause comes and it is... 294 00:13:35,741 --> 00:13:37,981 ...the most... 295 00:13:39,001 --> 00:13:41,939 ...wonderful fucking thing in the world! 296 00:13:41,964 --> 00:13:45,323 And, yes, your entire pelvic floor crumbles 297 00:13:45,348 --> 00:13:49,108 and you get fucking hot and no-one cares, but then... 298 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:51,880 ...you're free. 299 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:57,371 No longer a slave, no longer a machine, with parts. 300 00:13:58,121 --> 00:14:00,628 You're just a person in business. 301 00:14:01,561 --> 00:14:03,520 Oh. 302 00:14:03,521 --> 00:14:04,960 I was told it was horrendous. 303 00:14:04,961 --> 00:14:07,680 It is horrendous, but then it's magnificent. 304 00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:09,241 Something to look forward to. 305 00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:16,120 You better get back to that party. 306 00:14:16,121 --> 00:14:18,080 - Your party. - Mm. 307 00:14:18,081 --> 00:14:21,080 It is not a party until someone flirts with you. 308 00:14:21,081 --> 00:14:23,920 And that's the only really shit thing about getting older, 309 00:14:23,921 --> 00:14:26,640 is that people don't flirt with you anymore. 310 00:14:26,641 --> 00:14:28,840 Not really. Not with danger. 311 00:14:28,841 --> 00:14:31,307 I miss walking into a room and not knowing, 312 00:14:31,332 --> 00:14:34,920 and there's a sort of energy, a dare. 313 00:14:34,921 --> 00:14:37,309 Do not take that for granted. 314 00:14:38,881 --> 00:14:42,676 There is nothing more exciting than a room full of people. 315 00:14:43,321 --> 00:14:45,200 Yeah, except most people are... 316 00:14:45,201 --> 00:14:46,481 What? 317 00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:49,561 ...shit. 318 00:14:51,321 --> 00:14:53,200 Look at me. 319 00:14:53,201 --> 00:14:55,600 Listen. 320 00:14:55,601 --> 00:14:57,561 People are all we've got. 321 00:14:59,041 --> 00:15:00,896 People are all we've got. 322 00:15:00,921 --> 00:15:04,304 So grab the night by its nipples and go and flirt with someone. 323 00:15:05,641 --> 00:15:07,788 No, that's not what I meant! 324 00:15:12,961 --> 00:15:14,480 Oh. 325 00:15:14,692 --> 00:15:16,564 I wish you were my type. 326 00:15:17,601 --> 00:15:20,227 Take this tart back to my party 327 00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:22,200 and go and find someone to actually do that with. 328 00:15:22,201 --> 00:15:23,800 - I want to do it with you. - No. 329 00:15:23,801 --> 00:15:25,805 - Why not? - Honestly? 330 00:15:25,829 --> 00:15:26,985 Yeah. 331 00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:28,800 I can't be arsed, darling. 332 00:15:28,801 --> 00:15:32,657 I'm going to go back to my room and have one more martini, 333 00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:35,626 and if you need anything, call me. 334 00:15:35,651 --> 00:15:36,931 Anything. 335 00:15:38,362 --> 00:15:41,041 You can have whoever you want at your age. 336 00:15:41,066 --> 00:15:42,505 Except the Best Woman in Business. 337 00:15:42,530 --> 00:15:45,699 Well, that's just because she's exhausted. 338 00:15:46,730 --> 00:15:48,009 33 isn't exactly... 339 00:15:48,010 --> 00:15:50,529 And what had Jesus done by 33? 340 00:15:50,530 --> 00:15:52,009 - Died? - Exactly! 341 00:15:52,010 --> 00:15:53,690 So get out there and flirt. 342 00:16:04,124 --> 00:16:05,985 - Here you are! - Oh, hi! 343 00:16:06,010 --> 00:16:07,390 Thought you might be snogging Finland. 344 00:16:07,415 --> 00:16:10,369 Ha-ha! No, just sorting a few things! 345 00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:11,529 I got her! 346 00:16:11,530 --> 00:16:12,729 Oh! 347 00:16:12,730 --> 00:16:14,449 And Belinda gave me her card. 348 00:16:14,450 --> 00:16:15,730 Oh, that's great! 349 00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:18,889 - What? - Nothing. 350 00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:20,209 She's furious. 351 00:16:20,210 --> 00:16:21,449 Really? 352 00:16:21,450 --> 00:16:23,289 Yes! It was a great night. 353 00:16:23,290 --> 00:16:26,959 Everything went smoothly in the end, and everyone loved the canapes. 354 00:16:26,984 --> 00:16:28,343 Really? I'm a dead woman. 355 00:16:28,368 --> 00:16:30,185 - Really? - Yes! 356 00:16:30,210 --> 00:16:31,537 Really? 357 00:16:31,585 --> 00:16:33,504 Yes! It was a great night. 358 00:16:33,505 --> 00:16:35,464 She's going to blow. I just have a feeling... 359 00:16:35,465 --> 00:16:36,904 I would've come up with my own joke 360 00:16:36,905 --> 00:16:38,944 if you hadn't put that one in my head. 361 00:16:38,945 --> 00:16:41,064 I have my own jokes. 362 00:16:41,065 --> 00:16:43,584 I am funny, I am interesting. 363 00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:45,557 I knew I shouldn't have brought you here. 364 00:16:45,582 --> 00:16:47,496 - What do you mean, interesting? - You just think you can do 365 00:16:47,521 --> 00:16:50,984 whatever you like, say whatever you like, steal whatever you like, 366 00:16:50,985 --> 00:16:53,073 - kiss whoever you like. - He kissed me! 367 00:16:53,098 --> 00:16:55,104 Oh, I know. 368 00:16:55,105 --> 00:16:56,493 You know?! 369 00:16:56,518 --> 00:16:57,593 Then why have we been spending 370 00:16:57,618 --> 00:16:58,697 - ...the entire...? - Because you're fine! 371 00:16:58,721 --> 00:16:59,704 You'll always be fine. 372 00:16:59,705 --> 00:17:02,671 You'll always be interesting, with your quirky cafe 373 00:17:02,696 --> 00:17:04,144 and your dead best friend. 374 00:17:04,145 --> 00:17:06,265 You just make me feel like I've failed. 375 00:17:09,287 --> 00:17:10,655 Claire... 376 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:13,701 If you mention the size of my office, I will scream. 377 00:17:15,505 --> 00:17:17,020 [SHE WHISPERS]: It's huge. 378 00:17:21,025 --> 00:17:22,785 I just thought we were hanging out. 379 00:17:23,891 --> 00:17:25,531 Just as friends. 380 00:17:26,665 --> 00:17:28,184 We're not friends. 381 00:17:28,185 --> 00:17:29,625 We are sisters. 382 00:17:31,825 --> 00:17:33,625 Get your own friends. 383 00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:39,719 [HOLY MUSIC] 384 00:17:46,025 --> 00:17:48,305 [DOORBELL RINGS] 385 00:17:53,425 --> 00:17:54,824 Oh. Hi. 386 00:17:54,825 --> 00:17:55,954 Oh, sorry. 387 00:17:55,979 --> 00:17:57,086 I didn't have your number 388 00:17:57,111 --> 00:17:58,891 and you just said come round any time with G&Ts. 389 00:17:58,916 --> 00:18:01,184 Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. I just... 390 00:18:01,262 --> 00:18:03,551 This is a bit embarrassing, but recently I've been really 391 00:18:03,575 --> 00:18:05,934 enjoying going to bed at 9:30. 392 00:18:05,935 --> 00:18:07,666 - Oh, shit. - No, no, it's fine. 393 00:18:07,691 --> 00:18:09,142 I can see G&Ts! Are you okay? 394 00:18:09,167 --> 00:18:11,806 Yeah, yeah, I just... Just fancied a drink and a priest 395 00:18:11,807 --> 00:18:13,366 and a chat, maybe. 396 00:18:13,367 --> 00:18:14,686 Oh, that's my whole job. 397 00:18:14,687 --> 00:18:16,166 We'll have to be quiet, though, 398 00:18:16,167 --> 00:18:19,874 because Pam's a bit of a sound tyrant in the evenings. 399 00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:22,247 - Pam lives here? - Yeah, Pam lives here. 400 00:18:26,247 --> 00:18:28,326 - So I read your book. - Okay. Great. 401 00:18:28,327 --> 00:18:29,479 Well, it's got some great twists. 402 00:18:29,503 --> 00:18:30,941 - True. - But I just... 403 00:18:30,942 --> 00:18:32,782 - I couldn't help but notice... - Come on, just spit it out! 404 00:18:32,807 --> 00:18:35,966 - just one or two little inconsistences. - Okay, sure. 405 00:18:35,967 --> 00:18:38,446 So, the world was made in seven days. 406 00:18:38,447 --> 00:18:43,267 And on the first day, light came and then a few days later the sun came? 407 00:18:44,887 --> 00:18:46,126 Yeah, that's ridiculous. 408 00:18:46,127 --> 00:18:47,766 But you believe that? 409 00:18:47,767 --> 00:18:51,069 It's not a fact, it's poetry. It's moral code. 410 00:18:51,094 --> 00:18:54,624 It's for interpretation to help us work out God's plan for us. 411 00:18:54,671 --> 00:18:56,522 What's God's plan for you? 412 00:18:56,547 --> 00:19:01,619 I believe God meant for me to love people in a different way. 413 00:19:01,644 --> 00:19:04,470 I believe I'm supposed to love people as a father. 414 00:19:05,247 --> 00:19:07,046 We can arrange that. 415 00:19:07,047 --> 00:19:08,486 A father of many. 416 00:19:08,487 --> 00:19:09,726 I'll go up to three. 417 00:19:09,727 --> 00:19:11,137 - It's not going to happen. - Two, then. 418 00:19:11,176 --> 00:19:12,371 Okay, two. 419 00:19:15,466 --> 00:19:17,825 - [LOUD THUMP] - Oh, shit. Pam. She's not happy. 420 00:19:17,850 --> 00:19:19,641 [HE WHISPERS]: We should go outside. 421 00:19:23,210 --> 00:19:24,585 Do you think I should become a Catholic? 422 00:19:24,609 --> 00:19:25,846 No, don't do that. 423 00:19:25,847 --> 00:19:28,966 I like that you believe in a meaningless existence. 424 00:19:28,967 --> 00:19:32,606 And you're good for me. You make me question my faith. 425 00:19:32,607 --> 00:19:35,046 - And? - I've never felt closer to God. 426 00:19:35,047 --> 00:19:36,683 [LAUGHING]Fuck you! 427 00:19:36,708 --> 00:19:38,286 - [RUSTLING] - What was that? 428 00:19:38,287 --> 00:19:39,568 It wasn't a fox, was it? 429 00:19:39,592 --> 00:19:40,652 - I don't know. - Is it a fox? 430 00:19:40,677 --> 00:19:42,206 Shine something. Boo! Baa! 431 00:19:42,207 --> 00:19:44,097 - Oh, God. I bet it's a fox. - Oh, God! 432 00:19:44,122 --> 00:19:46,686 No, I'm not being funny, foxes have been after me for years. 433 00:19:46,687 --> 00:19:48,446 It's like they have a pact or something. 434 00:19:48,447 --> 00:19:51,966 I'm not kidding. I was on a toilet, a toilet of a train, 435 00:19:51,967 --> 00:19:53,956 and when the train stopped, a fucking fox tried to get 436 00:19:53,981 --> 00:19:56,970 through the window of a train! Its face was in the window! 437 00:19:56,995 --> 00:19:59,468 And once, when I was at a monastery, 438 00:19:59,493 --> 00:20:01,326 I woke up just feeling a bit weird, like there might be 439 00:20:01,327 --> 00:20:04,679 a fox about, and a fox was sitting underneath my window 440 00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:06,994 looking up like this, pointing at me like, 441 00:20:07,019 --> 00:20:09,967 "You, we're watching you. We're having you." 442 00:20:12,607 --> 00:20:14,326 Lucky God got there first. 443 00:20:14,327 --> 00:20:16,377 - Well, yeah. - You could be a fox boy by now. 444 00:20:16,402 --> 00:20:18,282 And we all know what happened to them! 445 00:20:21,807 --> 00:20:23,287 - You okay? - I'm okay. 446 00:20:25,447 --> 00:20:26,685 Do you think I'm mad? 447 00:20:26,927 --> 00:20:29,271 Because of the fox thing or because of the God thing? 448 00:20:29,607 --> 00:20:31,287 You're obsessed. 449 00:20:31,311 --> 00:20:33,006 [CLEARS THROAT] 450 00:20:33,007 --> 00:20:35,046 Do you ever have doubts? 451 00:20:35,047 --> 00:20:37,866 Yes, of course, every day. It's part of the deal. 452 00:20:39,087 --> 00:20:41,233 I just don't think I could do it. 453 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,108 Especially the... 454 00:20:45,866 --> 00:20:47,416 What? 455 00:20:47,619 --> 00:20:49,703 - ...celibacy and... - Oh, it's a fucking fox! 456 00:20:49,728 --> 00:20:51,080 - [RUSTLING] - Chill out about the fox! 457 00:20:51,105 --> 00:20:52,142 Ooh! Sorry. 458 00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:54,287 I just don't know what they want from me! 459 00:20:56,287 --> 00:20:57,966 Sorry. 460 00:20:58,287 --> 00:20:59,724 Celibacy. 461 00:20:59,846 --> 00:21:01,006 Go. 462 00:21:02,127 --> 00:21:03,607 I just... 463 00:21:04,638 --> 00:21:06,793 I couldn't give up sex forever. 464 00:21:07,908 --> 00:21:09,348 It's just too... 465 00:21:10,555 --> 00:21:12,199 It's too... 466 00:21:13,007 --> 00:21:18,153 Celibacy is a lot less complicated than... 467 00:21:18,271 --> 00:21:20,333 romantic relationships. 468 00:21:20,407 --> 00:21:23,153 What if you meet someone you like? 469 00:21:23,247 --> 00:21:26,170 I talk and drink and laugh and give them Bibles, 470 00:21:26,248 --> 00:21:28,287 and hope they eventually leave me alone. 471 00:21:29,007 --> 00:21:31,047 What if you meet someone you love? 472 00:21:34,367 --> 00:21:35,832 We're not going to have sex. 473 00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:44,277 I know that's what you think you want from me, but it's not. 474 00:21:45,167 --> 00:21:47,445 It won't bring any good. 475 00:21:47,727 --> 00:21:50,062 - Well, it might... - It won't. 476 00:21:50,327 --> 00:21:52,734 I've been there many times. 477 00:21:52,847 --> 00:21:55,726 Before I found this. Many, many times. 478 00:21:55,727 --> 00:21:57,647 How many times? 479 00:22:01,807 --> 00:22:03,607 Many. 480 00:22:13,977 --> 00:22:16,616 I'd really like to be your friend, though. 481 00:22:16,727 --> 00:22:18,328 I'd like to be your friend, too. 482 00:22:20,807 --> 00:22:22,367 We'll last a week. 483 00:22:23,745 --> 00:22:25,345 What was that? 484 00:22:27,087 --> 00:22:28,676 What? 485 00:22:28,767 --> 00:22:31,004 Where did...? Where did you just go? 486 00:22:31,487 --> 00:22:33,086 What? 487 00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:36,137 You just went somewhere. 488 00:22:36,723 --> 00:22:38,847 There. There. 489 00:22:40,996 --> 00:22:42,596 Where did you just go? 490 00:22:43,881 --> 00:22:45,401 Nowhere. 491 00:22:50,327 --> 00:22:51,567 Okay. 492 00:22:58,533 --> 00:23:00,413 [THEY SCREAM] 493 00:23:00,437 --> 00:23:05,437 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 494 00:23:05,487 --> 00:23:10,037 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35171

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