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1
00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:05,031
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:05,484 --> 00:00:07,852
POLICEMAN: Okay.
So let me get this straight.
3
00:00:07,953 --> 00:00:12,457
You're saying you were on
Hampstead Heath at 23:07, alone,
4
00:00:13,791 --> 00:00:15,059
walking your dog.
5
00:00:15,992 --> 00:00:17,428
That is correct.
6
00:00:17,528 --> 00:00:19,295
And for no reason, you were attacked.
7
00:00:20,496 --> 00:00:21,763
Yup.
8
00:00:21,863 --> 00:00:24,166
But you don't want to press charges.
9
00:00:24,266 --> 00:00:27,235
I just don't want the bother,
and he'll be long gone by now.
10
00:00:28,121 --> 00:00:30,622
- Did you see your assailant?
- Only the back of his head...
11
00:00:33,939 --> 00:00:35,007
As he was running away.
12
00:00:37,529 --> 00:00:40,599
Okay. Well now that's all cleared up,
I'm assuming we're free to leave.
13
00:00:40,636 --> 00:00:41,737
(DOG PANTING)
14
00:00:43,947 --> 00:00:46,782
Thanks you, Robyn. I didn't
know who else to call.
15
00:00:46,882 --> 00:00:48,317
It's all right.
16
00:00:48,418 --> 00:00:49,986
What am I supposed to do with this?
17
00:00:50,086 --> 00:00:52,187
Feed it twice a day.
Take it for nice, long walks.
18
00:00:52,288 --> 00:00:54,155
Treat it to the occasional bone.
19
00:00:54,256 --> 00:00:56,116
But I don't want a dog!
20
00:00:56,173 --> 00:00:57,908
If you'd like to go back in there
and change your statement,
21
00:00:57,941 --> 00:00:58,967
you're more than welcome.
22
00:00:59,001 --> 00:01:00,040
(SIGHS)
23
00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:02,251
All right, his name is Lumpy and you
24
00:01:02,493 --> 00:01:03,964
might want to get that eye looked at.
25
00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:05,331
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
26
00:01:09,368 --> 00:01:10,901
Come on, Lumpy.
27
00:01:11,002 --> 00:01:12,002
(DOG WHIMPERING)
28
00:01:18,281 --> 00:01:20,820
Synced & corrected by reggielist
www.addic7ed.com
29
00:01:24,412 --> 00:01:26,514
RUTH: It's my birthday
and I am going to party.
30
00:01:26,614 --> 00:01:27,614
Ow!
31
00:01:28,015 --> 00:01:29,016
(GRUNTS)
32
00:01:29,583 --> 00:01:32,594
Sorry, Teddy is getting really bite-y.
33
00:01:33,919 --> 00:01:35,828
Honestly, my nipples are a mess.
34
00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:37,640
You know those machines
they have at the pier?
35
00:01:37,673 --> 00:01:39,281
The ones that flatten pennies?
36
00:01:39,315 --> 00:01:41,324
It feels like my nipples have gone
through one of those machines.
37
00:01:41,357 --> 00:01:42,958
(GIGGLING)
38
00:01:43,038 --> 00:01:45,330
- Don't laugh. I'm not kidding.
- I'm sorry.
39
00:01:45,455 --> 00:01:48,408
Seriously, go enjoy your titties
while they're yours. These days...
40
00:01:49,060 --> 00:01:52,065
Mine are either juice boxes for the
kids or Mark is grabbing at them
41
00:01:52,099 --> 00:01:53,986
like he's testing avocados.
42
00:01:54,855 --> 00:01:57,900
Speaking of which, how's that going?
Are you guys still trying?
43
00:02:00,726 --> 00:02:02,395
Sorry, was that a bad thing to say?
44
00:02:02,972 --> 00:02:04,205
No, not at all.
45
00:02:04,307 --> 00:02:07,369
Yes, we're trying.
It's just taking a while.
46
00:02:07,473 --> 00:02:10,608
Honestly. That is for the best.
I'm not kidding.
47
00:02:10,778 --> 00:02:13,138
Mark barely had to breathe on
my vagina, and I was pregnant,
48
00:02:13,353 --> 00:02:16,955
I'm not complaining but, you know,
a warning shot would've been nice.
49
00:02:17,219 --> 00:02:19,018
Fertile son of a... Ow!
50
00:02:19,064 --> 00:02:20,830
(GRUNTING) God damn it!
51
00:02:20,909 --> 00:02:23,845
I have got to put the baby down now.
Do you want me to call you back?
52
00:02:24,124 --> 00:02:27,025
No. Go. Sleep. I love you.
53
00:02:27,161 --> 00:02:28,877
Love you. Bye.
54
00:02:28,933 --> 00:02:30,336
(SLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
55
00:03:17,066 --> 00:03:19,167
(MOANING ON VIDEO)
56
00:03:22,437 --> 00:03:23,797
(CLICKS) (VIDEO CONTINUES PLAYING)
57
00:03:33,112 --> 00:03:34,446
(DOOR UNLOCKING)
58
00:03:39,983 --> 00:03:40,984
(THUDS)
59
00:03:41,404 --> 00:03:42,572
SAM: Oh, fuck!
60
00:03:43,401 --> 00:03:44,735
ROBYN: Turn the light on, babe.
61
00:03:46,301 --> 00:03:47,301
(WHISPERS) Sorry.
62
00:03:48,397 --> 00:03:50,431
How was your night?
63
00:03:50,465 --> 00:03:52,999
Fantastic. Tramp took
a shit in the corridor.
64
00:03:53,138 --> 00:03:54,501
Dairy protest?
65
00:03:54,642 --> 00:03:57,544
No, protest is a bit
sophisticated for what I saw.
66
00:03:58,987 --> 00:04:00,122
Brought this back.
67
00:04:02,333 --> 00:04:04,467
Like, go in and get checked, you know.
68
00:04:04,501 --> 00:04:06,469
Rule things out. Have a read.
69
00:04:10,406 --> 00:04:12,073
Interesting moment at work today.
70
00:04:12,110 --> 00:04:13,267
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
71
00:04:13,325 --> 00:04:16,235
Tabitha, the new junior nurses'
assistant, tried to have sex with me.
72
00:04:16,763 --> 00:04:17,915
I'm sorry. What?
73
00:04:18,015 --> 00:04:19,524
Mmm-hmm. I know what you're thinking
74
00:04:19,558 --> 00:04:22,048
but she's not fat or
hairy or mentally ill.
75
00:04:22,110 --> 00:04:23,234
She's actually pretty fit.
76
00:04:23,268 --> 00:04:25,695
Looks like a slightly
less toothy Billie Piper.
77
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:27,639
Okay.
78
00:04:27,676 --> 00:04:29,539
Yeah, proper pass. Asked
me for a lift home
79
00:04:29,573 --> 00:04:31,651
and everything. It was a slam dunk.
80
00:04:31,753 --> 00:04:33,604
Great. What did you do?
81
00:04:33,698 --> 00:04:34,863
Fucked her.
82
00:04:35,058 --> 00:04:36,426
(LAUGHS)
83
00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:38,909
I'm kidding! I told her I
have a lovely girlfriend
84
00:04:38,943 --> 00:04:40,303
waiting for me at home, of course.
85
00:04:41,115 --> 00:04:42,315
(KISSES)
86
00:04:43,172 --> 00:04:44,173
Great story.
87
00:04:44,737 --> 00:04:45,932
Someone jealous?
88
00:04:46,235 --> 00:04:47,675
Just not sure why you're telling me.
89
00:04:49,339 --> 00:04:50,819
I don't know. I thought it was funny.
90
00:04:51,448 --> 00:04:53,608
Don't you wanna know how
desirable your boyfriend is?
91
00:04:53,642 --> 00:04:56,282
Not really. Do you wanna know about
all the men who try to fuck me?
92
00:04:57,809 --> 00:04:58,809
Wow.
93
00:04:59,910 --> 00:05:02,315
Christ, okay. Don't know
what's gone up your arse.
94
00:05:02,472 --> 00:05:04,281
Just not sure what point you're making.
95
00:05:04,581 --> 00:05:06,573
Do want a medal for not cheating on me?
96
00:05:06,650 --> 00:05:08,117
No, of course not, I just...
97
00:05:09,503 --> 00:05:11,634
Okay, sorry if I misjudged it, it
wasn't meant to be a big deal.
98
00:05:11,667 --> 00:05:13,455
Then, why'd you tell me?
99
00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:16,542
I don't know, it was just... it was
on my mind and I thought it was...
100
00:05:19,962 --> 00:05:21,698
Oh, well, forget it, forget it.
101
00:05:22,362 --> 00:05:24,029
Forgive me for sharing.
102
00:05:24,429 --> 00:05:26,498
(SLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
103
00:05:43,182 --> 00:05:45,318
(ALARM BEEPING)
104
00:05:58,308 --> 00:05:59,976
Ha. You came back.
105
00:06:00,039 --> 00:06:01,392
- You noticed.
- Huh.
106
00:06:01,492 --> 00:06:03,159
I don't know if it was the coke
107
00:06:03,259 --> 00:06:05,994
or your Uber driver ruining
Simon's hand job story,
108
00:06:06,094 --> 00:06:08,563
but wow, you definitely
made an impression.
109
00:06:08,664 --> 00:06:10,432
Yeah, I feel awful about that.
110
00:06:10,532 --> 00:06:12,841
No, don't. He's got
a million stories like that.
111
00:06:13,282 --> 00:06:14,923
Last week, he was telling this one about
112
00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:16,972
getting rimmed in Nando's by a post man.
113
00:06:17,570 --> 00:06:20,239
Absolute classic. The guy has
been married eleven years.
114
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,409
- Do you want a drag?
- No.
115
00:06:23,442 --> 00:06:25,343
Yeah. Trying to quit.
116
00:06:25,443 --> 00:06:27,211
Ah, Vogues. Classy.
117
00:06:27,312 --> 00:06:29,279
Makes me feel like
a fat fingered Audrey Hepburn.
118
00:06:31,315 --> 00:06:33,316
Oh, God. I'm Tom, by the way.
119
00:06:34,016 --> 00:06:35,251
Robyn.
120
00:06:35,351 --> 00:06:36,485
Like the super hero?
121
00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:39,470
Sidekick. Robin's not
a super hero. He's a sidekick.
122
00:06:40,221 --> 00:06:42,649
But I'm plenty happy
being in the background.
123
00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,196
It's odd when you start these things.
124
00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:47,026
Everyone has got more hours than you.
125
00:06:47,093 --> 00:06:48,961
I remember feeling like I joined a cult.
126
00:06:48,995 --> 00:06:50,996
They were gonna ask me
to marry my sister.
127
00:06:51,030 --> 00:06:52,332
It gets better thought. I promise.
128
00:06:52,365 --> 00:06:54,100
Mm. Can't wait.
129
00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:55,939
How long have you been in the rooms?
130
00:06:55,972 --> 00:06:57,005
Three years.
131
00:06:57,268 --> 00:06:59,002
- Wow!
- Yeah.
132
00:06:59,102 --> 00:07:01,204
Wish I could say it was easy.
133
00:07:01,304 --> 00:07:04,173
I mean, some days you feel like you
nicked it, other days, it just...
134
00:07:04,206 --> 00:07:06,974
Bang! It just kicks you in the
bollocks like an angry mule.
135
00:07:07,909 --> 00:07:09,630
Or lady bollocks, in your case.
136
00:07:12,899 --> 00:07:15,401
Anyway... We should head inside.
137
00:07:17,083 --> 00:07:19,884
Um... Stick at it.
138
00:07:19,985 --> 00:07:21,545
I don't know if you've got a sponsor...
139
00:07:22,954 --> 00:07:24,714
If you ever wanna talk
about your recovery...
140
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:29,234
Or anything else, for that matter.
141
00:07:31,294 --> 00:07:32,294
(CHUCKLES)
142
00:07:50,576 --> 00:07:54,979
So, I found out a guy who
I went to school with is trans.
143
00:07:55,012 --> 00:07:56,214
(GIGGLING)
144
00:07:56,673 --> 00:07:57,913
Does that happen to any of you?
145
00:07:58,348 --> 00:07:59,683
It's pretty confusing.
146
00:07:59,716 --> 00:08:02,451
He's... Obviously, now,
I know that "he" is a "she".
147
00:08:02,551 --> 00:08:04,653
But what if I wanna talk about my past?
148
00:08:04,687 --> 00:08:08,022
Is he a "he" before a certain time?
149
00:08:08,123 --> 00:08:09,990
Or is there like a cut off point?
150
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:13,627
Sorry, bad joke, I suppose.
151
00:08:13,727 --> 00:08:16,329
Now, to do something
like that, it takes balls.
152
00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:18,731
That's a funny line.
153
00:08:19,072 --> 00:08:22,367
Sorry, have I just walked into
a working men's club from the '80s...
154
00:08:22,467 --> 00:08:25,536
I appreciate someone having to
undergo intensive and invasive
155
00:08:25,569 --> 00:08:28,405
gender re-assignment surgery, must've
been very difficult for you.
156
00:08:28,506 --> 00:08:29,906
(CROWD LAUGHING)
157
00:08:29,940 --> 00:08:31,178
Not quite the point I was making.
158
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:33,376
I mean, yeah, that's fine. Over
20 grand for the treatment,
159
00:08:33,409 --> 00:08:35,511
but you're confused about
which pronouns to use.
160
00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:38,234
(CROWD LAUGHING)
161
00:08:38,546 --> 00:08:40,246
Yeah, all right, sit
back down, love, 'cause
162
00:08:40,279 --> 00:08:41,862
people have come here for some comedy.
163
00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:43,183
MAN: Yeah, when's that gonna start, eh?
164
00:08:43,216 --> 00:08:45,217
(CROWD LAUGHING)
165
00:08:45,251 --> 00:08:46,896
You're lucky there's not a
dick under there anymore,
166
00:08:46,929 --> 00:08:48,388
or I'd knock you in your arse!
167
00:08:48,421 --> 00:08:49,785
Oh, come on, how was I supposed to know
168
00:08:49,818 --> 00:08:52,248
there was a trans
comedian in the audience?
169
00:08:52,388 --> 00:08:53,965
I mean, what're the chances
of that happening?
170
00:08:53,998 --> 00:08:56,093
Well, she was on the line-up,
so, I'd say pretty fuckin' high.
171
00:08:56,126 --> 00:08:58,112
Well, I don't even know
who Allie Gregs is!
172
00:08:58,146 --> 00:09:00,363
And neither did I, but now
I do, it's all over Twitter.
173
00:09:00,397 --> 00:09:02,441
Oh, come on, it wasn't even that
offensive. I was being ironic.
174
00:09:02,474 --> 00:09:03,474
How is it ironic?
175
00:09:04,065 --> 00:09:05,066
Because...
176
00:09:06,101 --> 00:09:08,035
I'm not trans.
177
00:09:08,135 --> 00:09:10,304
Live nation is threatening
to pull the whole tour.
178
00:09:10,404 --> 00:09:11,688
Hundred and forty-seven thousand hits?
179
00:09:11,721 --> 00:09:13,039
That is not a good thing.
180
00:09:13,139 --> 00:09:15,175
I thought there was
no such thing as bad publicity.
181
00:09:15,275 --> 00:09:16,999
If one person throws
that bullshit at me...
182
00:09:17,033 --> 00:09:19,612
Just have a conversation with Kevin
Spacey and he can fill you in.
183
00:09:19,645 --> 00:09:21,897
I can't... We talked about this.
184
00:09:21,931 --> 00:09:26,116
You said, try a bit more edgy
material, be a bit more risque,
185
00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:27,517
it'll play well with young people.
186
00:09:27,617 --> 00:09:30,259
I meant, try and joke about ISIS,
187
00:09:30,293 --> 00:09:32,288
not offend an entire
community of people.
188
00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:34,089
You don't think she's
being a tiny bit sensitive?
189
00:09:34,122 --> 00:09:35,659
You know, the most
damaging thing about this
190
00:09:35,692 --> 00:09:37,125
tape is that she's being
funnier than you.
191
00:09:37,158 --> 00:09:39,460
Hey. I resent that.
That is new material.
192
00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:41,629
I'm running that in. That is
not going to be perfect...
193
00:09:41,662 --> 00:09:42,847
Enough!
194
00:09:42,925 --> 00:09:46,792
Go bathe and put some pants on.
We've got work to do.
195
00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:48,500
Trans...
196
00:09:53,973 --> 00:09:55,674
Okay, so we are going
for full mea culpa,
197
00:09:55,708 --> 00:09:57,020
egg on face, big apologies,
198
00:09:57,132 --> 00:09:59,621
- kissing trans babies, the works.
- Trans babies?
199
00:09:59,847 --> 00:10:01,950
Isn't this the man who got
kicked out at the comedy awards
200
00:10:01,983 --> 00:10:04,651
for dipping his balls on the
Head of BBC comedy's Prosecco?
201
00:10:04,914 --> 00:10:06,731
Not sure humility is his strong point.
202
00:10:06,765 --> 00:10:08,607
Melody, I need you to get
in touch with Allie Gregs.
203
00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:10,466
She's not gonna wanna talk
to you but do whatever it takes.
204
00:10:10,499 --> 00:10:11,684
We need to contain this.
205
00:10:14,088 --> 00:10:15,723
- Earth to Melody.
- Yes, got it.
206
00:10:15,823 --> 00:10:17,657
Ooh, Tom, kiss.
207
00:10:17,757 --> 00:10:18,757
Anyone nice?
208
00:10:18,825 --> 00:10:20,895
Oh, no, just a guy from NA.
209
00:10:20,929 --> 00:10:22,628
It's not... He was
offering to be my sponsor.
210
00:10:22,661 --> 00:10:23,662
I bet he was.
211
00:10:23,761 --> 00:10:26,464
- God, I love a damaged man. Is he cute?
- I haven't really thought about it.
212
00:10:26,497 --> 00:10:27,799
Yeah. Well, whatever.
213
00:10:27,832 --> 00:10:29,968
Well, enjoy sponsoring his brains out.
214
00:10:32,477 --> 00:10:33,957
Maybe I should set up the two of you.
215
00:10:34,137 --> 00:10:35,839
Hmm, last time I went
on a blind date, I ended up
216
00:10:35,872 --> 00:10:36,973
climbing out of a window at Sexy Fish.
217
00:10:37,006 --> 00:10:38,919
- Seriously. He's hot.
- Oh, he's hot now, is he?
218
00:10:38,952 --> 00:10:40,599
I thought you hadn't thought about it.
Shut up.
219
00:10:40,632 --> 00:10:41,872
Do you wanna fuck him
with my vagina? Is that it?
220
00:10:41,905 --> 00:10:43,380
- Don't be a dick.
- Look, if you need me to have sex
221
00:10:43,413 --> 00:10:46,134
with him, you don't have to, you just
have to ask. (CELL PHONE RINGING)
222
00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:47,810
- Selena Pope's been spotted with her...
- BOTH: Yep. Got it.
223
00:10:47,843 --> 00:10:48,875
Christ.
224
00:10:48,909 --> 00:10:50,315
When it rains, everyone's
an idiotic twat.
225
00:10:50,348 --> 00:10:51,721
Right. I'll deal with Proctorgate.
226
00:10:51,755 --> 00:10:52,988
I need some transgender celebs who will
227
00:10:53,021 --> 00:10:54,092
agree to be friends with Dan Proctor.
228
00:10:54,125 --> 00:10:55,464
I can only think of Caitlin Jenner
229
00:10:55,497 --> 00:10:56,589
and that lady that won Big Brother.
230
00:10:56,622 --> 00:10:57,982
Definitely start with Big Brother.
231
00:10:59,086 --> 00:11:00,087
Taxi.
232
00:11:11,633 --> 00:11:12,634
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
233
00:11:13,489 --> 00:11:14,679
- Hello.
- Hi.
234
00:11:14,713 --> 00:11:15,833
Are we still on for tonight?
235
00:11:16,003 --> 00:11:17,503
Of course.
236
00:11:17,604 --> 00:11:19,639
Good. 'Cause I'm gonna get F-ed up...
237
00:11:19,739 --> 00:11:22,008
Mummy, higher. Mummy is
on the phone, bubba.
238
00:11:22,835 --> 00:11:23,984
Are you absolutely sure
239
00:11:24,018 --> 00:11:25,587
you don't wanna spend
your birthday with Mark?
240
00:11:25,620 --> 00:11:26,823
I've spent every night
of my life with Mark.
241
00:11:26,856 --> 00:11:28,679
For once, he can look
after his children,
242
00:11:28,713 --> 00:11:30,429
while mummy gets her party on.
243
00:11:30,538 --> 00:11:32,907
- Mummy!
- Okay.
244
00:11:33,078 --> 00:11:35,725
Oh, my God, I cannot tell you
how excited I am for tonight.
245
00:11:35,759 --> 00:11:38,728
I feel like it has been ages
since I got a proper night out.
246
00:11:38,762 --> 00:11:41,843
You better get ready because Mummy
is going to bring the thunder.
247
00:11:41,877 --> 00:11:44,186
Okay, but you will stop
referring to yourself as Mummy
248
00:11:44,220 --> 00:11:46,380
this evening, right? 'Cause
it's kinda weirding me out.
249
00:11:47,627 --> 00:11:49,095
That is noted.
250
00:11:49,195 --> 00:11:50,562
I'll see you later.
251
00:11:50,663 --> 00:11:52,038
- Love you.
- Higher.
252
00:11:52,072 --> 00:11:54,007
Put your back into it, woman.
253
00:11:56,329 --> 00:11:58,975
What part of "Wear it
at all times" confused you?
254
00:11:59,070 --> 00:12:00,938
Uh, I needed soya.
255
00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:03,499
I popped out for like five seconds.
256
00:12:03,538 --> 00:12:05,275
How was I supposed to know
there was a paparazzi
257
00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:07,542
hiding behind my neighbor's
fucking Qashqai?
258
00:12:07,575 --> 00:12:09,945
You're supposed to be
eight-and-a-half months pregnant.
259
00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:12,551
You cannot leave the house
without your fucking baby.
260
00:12:12,585 --> 00:12:15,020
- I forgot.
- You forgot?
261
00:12:15,054 --> 00:12:16,650
How many times
have we been through this?
262
00:12:16,683 --> 00:12:18,785
Nine months, nine bumps.
263
00:12:18,885 --> 00:12:20,418
I even numbered them for you.
264
00:12:20,452 --> 00:12:22,100
This is really hard.
265
00:12:22,134 --> 00:12:24,607
No, Selena, having an actual
baby is hard. This is shoving
266
00:12:24,641 --> 00:12:26,524
- a cushion up your jumper.
- Stop shouting.
267
00:12:26,557 --> 00:12:28,218
Look, why don't we just say
I lost the baby?
268
00:12:28,251 --> 00:12:30,127
ROSE: Uh, excuse me?
269
00:12:30,227 --> 00:12:32,072
And what exactly would you
like me to do with this?
270
00:12:32,105 --> 00:12:36,587
Christ! I don't know. I'm just trying
a little bit blue sky thinking.
271
00:12:38,540 --> 00:12:40,045
Can we just kinda take a night early?
272
00:12:40,079 --> 00:12:42,140
Oh, maybe next time you could
have your own bloody baby.
273
00:12:42,173 --> 00:12:44,774
Okay, we've been through this.
I have got hostile womb...
274
00:12:45,605 --> 00:12:47,174
And a very busy schedule.
275
00:12:47,454 --> 00:12:49,475
Also, I don't want my vagina ripped
276
00:12:49,509 --> 00:12:51,548
to my arsehole. Is that okay with you?
277
00:12:51,582 --> 00:12:53,178
That is what I'm paying her for.
278
00:12:54,312 --> 00:12:55,746
Sorry, Rose.
279
00:12:55,798 --> 00:12:57,717
When was the last time you were
photographed with the bump?
280
00:12:57,750 --> 00:13:00,790
Oh, the talk on body confidence
for International Women's Day.
281
00:13:00,883 --> 00:13:01,985
Maybe ten days ago.
282
00:13:02,018 --> 00:13:04,786
That's when you had the baby.
That night, it came early
283
00:13:04,820 --> 00:13:06,755
and since then, you've been working hard
284
00:13:06,855 --> 00:13:07,855
to drop the baby weight.
285
00:13:08,934 --> 00:13:10,654
She's also been working
really fucking hard.
286
00:13:10,688 --> 00:13:11,766
Yeah.
287
00:13:11,862 --> 00:13:14,697
But what about the baby?
We don't have a baby.
288
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:17,964
We will just have to borrow one
until the actual baby arrives.
289
00:13:18,064 --> 00:13:19,165
ROSE: Borrow one?
290
00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:20,744
When the baby's born,
it's date of birth will
291
00:13:20,777 --> 00:13:22,602
be on its birth certificate.
It won't match.
292
00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:23,946
ROBYN: That we can deal with.
293
00:13:23,980 --> 00:13:26,089
According to Wikipedia, she's 29.
294
00:13:29,639 --> 00:13:30,639
(SCOFFS)
295
00:13:34,058 --> 00:13:37,368
Oh, great. Hi, guys. Thank
you so much for doing this.
296
00:13:37,402 --> 00:13:38,490
This is Dan.
297
00:13:38,962 --> 00:13:40,266
Who are these people?
298
00:13:40,595 --> 00:13:42,852
Dan, this is James and Coco
299
00:13:42,886 --> 00:13:44,907
and they're from organization
called TransEducate.
300
00:13:45,019 --> 00:13:47,173
And they've very kindly
agreed to come here today
301
00:13:47,207 --> 00:13:48,647
to educate you about your ignorance.
302
00:13:49,641 --> 00:13:50,977
- Seriously?
- Okay, don't look,
303
00:13:51,011 --> 00:13:53,371
but there's a photographer with
a long lens just over there.
304
00:13:53,657 --> 00:13:55,838
We're just having casual lunch
with your casual trans friends.
305
00:13:55,871 --> 00:13:59,641
We're showing how casually
not transphobic you are. Okay?
306
00:13:59,727 --> 00:14:01,887
All you have to do is talk
to them, and not be a bigot.
307
00:14:02,731 --> 00:14:03,799
Can you do that?
308
00:14:09,704 --> 00:14:10,805
Dan Proctor.
309
00:14:12,173 --> 00:14:13,640
(CLEARS THROAT) Hi.
310
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:14,941
Hi.
311
00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:22,280
(DOORBELL RINGS)
312
00:14:25,116 --> 00:14:27,157
- Hiya. You Allie Gregs?
- Yeah.
313
00:14:27,191 --> 00:14:29,782
My name is Melody. I work
for Dan Proctor's PR company.
314
00:14:30,086 --> 00:14:31,926
I was just wondering
if we could have a chat...
315
00:14:33,755 --> 00:14:34,990
No callbacks.
316
00:14:35,090 --> 00:14:36,258
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
317
00:14:36,358 --> 00:14:37,358
Oh, God.
318
00:14:38,026 --> 00:14:39,794
- Yep.
- How's it going?
319
00:14:39,894 --> 00:14:41,495
Um, not great.
320
00:14:41,529 --> 00:14:44,365
I need someone who's had a
baby in the last six weeks.
321
00:14:44,399 --> 00:14:46,000
(PHONE VIBRATES) Oh, hang on.
322
00:14:46,058 --> 00:14:48,018
Eve's calling. Let me see
if I can patch with her.
323
00:14:49,368 --> 00:14:51,203
(SPEAKING IN OTHER LANGUAGE)
324
00:14:51,303 --> 00:14:52,637
I need a baby.
325
00:14:52,670 --> 00:14:55,073
Same thing happened to my friend
literally the day she hit 30.
326
00:14:55,106 --> 00:14:56,274
No, I need to borrow one.
327
00:14:56,374 --> 00:14:57,761
Oh, what about Cheryl from Accounts?
328
00:14:57,794 --> 00:14:59,395
She had a baby, like, a week ago.
329
00:14:59,464 --> 00:15:00,932
- Which one's Cheryl?
- Red hair.
330
00:15:02,211 --> 00:15:03,645
She's married to lan with the beard.
331
00:15:03,678 --> 00:15:06,238
You said she looked like a love
child of Ed Sheeran and a cookie.
332
00:15:06,314 --> 00:15:09,350
Oh. (LAUGHS) Cheryl. Was she pregnant?
333
00:15:09,427 --> 00:15:10,557
Only for nine months.
334
00:15:10,591 --> 00:15:12,233
- Melody, can you text me her address?
- Mmm-hmm.
335
00:15:12,266 --> 00:15:13,546
Eve, how's it going on your end?
336
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:16,140
All good. Operation "Some-of-my-best-
friends-are-black" is a go.
337
00:15:22,814 --> 00:15:24,967
(BABY CRYING) (SHUSHING)
338
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:28,109
It is so nice of you to come
and visit me.
339
00:15:28,244 --> 00:15:30,241
Of course. All the girls
and I were talking
340
00:15:30,275 --> 00:15:31,910
about you in the office this morning.
341
00:15:32,247 --> 00:15:33,616
That's just so sweet.
342
00:15:33,845 --> 00:15:37,781
No offense, but I didn't even
know if you knew who I was.
343
00:15:37,834 --> 00:15:40,670
We often feel a bit left out,
down in accounts.
344
00:15:41,421 --> 00:15:42,850
Don't be ridiculous.
345
00:15:43,399 --> 00:15:44,432
What's her name?
346
00:15:44,555 --> 00:15:45,724
It's Ivy
347
00:15:45,803 --> 00:15:46,873
That's beautiful.
348
00:15:46,984 --> 00:15:48,152
Do you want to hold her?
349
00:15:49,045 --> 00:15:50,491
Oh! Um, no, I...
350
00:15:50,525 --> 00:15:52,248
I could really do with peeing.
351
00:15:55,449 --> 00:15:56,530
Okay
352
00:15:56,564 --> 00:15:58,299
(BABY FUSSING)
353
00:16:00,031 --> 00:16:03,616
You can have a mussy, so
she's not sick on your dress.
354
00:16:04,265 --> 00:16:05,734
Mmm...
355
00:16:11,482 --> 00:16:12,693
What's up, shorty?
356
00:16:14,345 --> 00:16:15,345
(BABY COOING)
357
00:16:16,095 --> 00:16:17,196
Yeah.
358
00:16:18,420 --> 00:16:19,521
I feel the same way.
359
00:16:26,113 --> 00:16:27,414
(BABY COOING)
360
00:16:27,568 --> 00:16:28,675
Hey, you.
361
00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:34,871
You're a natural.
362
00:16:36,916 --> 00:16:39,222
Oh. (SHUSHING) (BABY HICCUPING)
363
00:16:39,406 --> 00:16:41,607
Cheryl, how do you fancy
getting out of the house today?
364
00:16:42,131 --> 00:16:43,999
- Yeah.
- (BABY COOING)
365
00:17:29,986 --> 00:17:31,654
You make a terrible spy, you know?
366
00:17:31,747 --> 00:17:33,596
Please, can I just explain a minute?
367
00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:36,432
I have an interview with
Abigail Reese at 2:00 pm.
368
00:17:36,518 --> 00:17:38,003
I'm not speaking to anyone else.
369
00:17:38,037 --> 00:17:40,448
Especially not to
Dan Dickhead Proctor's PR.
370
00:17:41,900 --> 00:17:42,979
Please?
371
00:17:44,028 --> 00:17:46,565
I'm the new girl in the office.
I've only just moved to London.
372
00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:50,323
And I hardly know anyone. I'm
barely even getting paid, so...
373
00:17:50,535 --> 00:17:53,104
They already think I'm some kind
of wide-eyed country bumpkin.
374
00:17:53,138 --> 00:17:55,838
This is the first proper job they've
actually given me to do. So.
375
00:17:56,595 --> 00:17:59,195
I can't mess it up 'cause then
they'll find out I'm a total loser.
376
00:18:00,154 --> 00:18:02,637
Please, I just...
I just want them to like me.
377
00:18:04,706 --> 00:18:06,481
Did you seriously just give a speech
378
00:18:06,515 --> 00:18:08,466
about not fitting in to a trans woman?
379
00:18:09,568 --> 00:18:12,028
Jesus. Is there nothing
you people won't stoop to?
380
00:18:14,998 --> 00:18:16,498
Oh, tits.
381
00:18:20,391 --> 00:18:22,762
A bit stage-y. Creepy.
382
00:18:23,131 --> 00:18:26,672
Serial killer. Okay, no. We're
going for natural humility.
383
00:18:31,024 --> 00:18:34,687
Look, I was just saying that
I knew him... I knew her
384
00:18:34,844 --> 00:18:40,109
as a man, so it's confusing
knowing what to call them now.
385
00:18:40,317 --> 00:18:41,477
Are you married?
386
00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:42,558
Yeah.
387
00:18:42,637 --> 00:18:44,105
What was her last name before
you were married?
388
00:18:44,138 --> 00:18:47,414
Sarah? Barker. Sarah Barker.
389
00:18:47,563 --> 00:18:49,399
Then how on earth did you get
your head around the fact
390
00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:51,534
that you now have to
call her Sarah Proctor?
391
00:18:51,718 --> 00:18:54,648
Christ. It must be so confusing for you.
392
00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:56,185
You're Dan Proctor!
393
00:18:56,316 --> 00:18:57,352
Sorry?
394
00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:59,477
- You're Dan Proctor!
- No I'm not.
395
00:18:59,525 --> 00:19:00,859
Oh, come on mate, you're great.
396
00:19:00,893 --> 00:19:02,875
I love that bit you do
about Popeye wanking.
397
00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:05,334
(IMITATING POPEYE'S LAUGH,
BLOWS RASPBERRY)
398
00:19:05,399 --> 00:19:06,742
(LAUGHS) That is sick!
399
00:19:06,910 --> 00:19:08,430
I used to do this whole routine about
400
00:19:08,464 --> 00:19:10,801
Popeye having much
larger forearms than...
401
00:19:11,643 --> 00:19:14,211
It's actually a lot
cleverer than he's...
402
00:19:14,350 --> 00:19:15,648
Mate, can I get a picture?
403
00:19:15,746 --> 00:19:16,797
Not now, mate.
404
00:19:16,831 --> 00:19:18,383
Oh, come on. Don't be a dick about it.
405
00:19:18,417 --> 00:19:20,939
(STUTTERS) You can see that I'm just
having a drink with my friends?
406
00:19:20,972 --> 00:19:22,340
Can you turn that camera off?
407
00:19:22,374 --> 00:19:24,242
(MAN LAUGHING) All right, stop it, now.
408
00:19:24,276 --> 00:19:25,353
(CAMERA CLICKING) Don't shoot this.
Don't shoot this!
409
00:19:25,386 --> 00:19:27,121
Uh, why is there a photographer there?
410
00:19:27,155 --> 00:19:28,204
Oh no, no, no. He's not with us.
411
00:19:28,237 --> 00:19:30,473
Is this a setup?
Mate, you are unbelievable.
412
00:19:30,507 --> 00:19:31,781
No, no, wait, wait.
413
00:19:32,060 --> 00:19:33,922
You're a fucking dinosaur.
414
00:19:34,267 --> 00:19:37,036
And I've seen your
Popeye routine. It's shit.
415
00:19:45,089 --> 00:19:46,721
Why is there a baby in reception?
416
00:19:46,763 --> 00:19:47,895
We borrowed it.
417
00:19:47,935 --> 00:19:49,203
For Selena Pope.
418
00:19:49,390 --> 00:19:51,051
"OK!" is doing the announcements.
419
00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:53,058
Allie Gregs.
420
00:19:53,135 --> 00:19:55,402
I tried talking to her,
but she's not interested.
421
00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:59,480
She is meeting Abigail Reese at
the Dean Street Hotel at 2:00.
422
00:20:00,332 --> 00:20:02,066
You know Reese. Don't you, Robyn?
423
00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:05,002
No. I used to know her a bit,
but I haven't...
424
00:20:05,682 --> 00:20:06,783
Dan Proctor.
425
00:20:06,817 --> 00:20:08,769
Right. Dan Proctor.
426
00:20:08,803 --> 00:20:10,036
CAROLINE: You have eleven seconds.
427
00:20:10,069 --> 00:20:13,196
Not great. His twitter feed is
exploding with LGBTQ activists
428
00:20:13,230 --> 00:20:16,063
calling for his tour to be pulled.
Live Nation are shitting themselves.
429
00:20:16,097 --> 00:20:17,864
The video has already made
it to all national news outlets
430
00:20:17,897 --> 00:20:19,446
and is already up on several websites,
431
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:22,473
and he just got slapped round the
face by a sassy trans activist.
432
00:20:30,975 --> 00:20:33,605
I spoke to Nadia from Big Brother V.
433
00:20:33,639 --> 00:20:35,569
We can claim ignorance. Just get...
434
00:20:35,603 --> 00:20:37,536
Well, maybe if we dig deeper
into his family life.
435
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:39,009
- (OVERLAPPING CONVERSATION)
- Stop.
436
00:20:39,331 --> 00:20:40,504
Christ.
437
00:20:41,396 --> 00:20:44,574
It's like being slowly stung
to death by incompetent wasps.
438
00:20:44,608 --> 00:20:45,832
There's blood in the water.
439
00:20:45,866 --> 00:20:47,316
Stop flapping around like a bunch of
440
00:20:47,350 --> 00:20:49,535
epileptic penguins and take control.
441
00:20:53,193 --> 00:20:54,693
Here's what we're going to do.
442
00:21:01,271 --> 00:21:02,539
(PHONE RINGING)
443
00:21:02,624 --> 00:21:04,024
- Yeah.
- Allie Gregs, ten o'clock.
444
00:21:04,873 --> 00:21:06,352
What the hell does ten o'clock mean?
445
00:21:06,398 --> 00:21:09,992
Behind you! Left! She's coming
your way now. She's coming in.
446
00:21:17,436 --> 00:21:20,133
Oh! I'm so sorry. So sorry.
447
00:21:20,931 --> 00:21:23,180
Oh, my God. Are you Allie Gregs?
448
00:21:23,406 --> 00:21:24,633
Uh, yeah. Yeah.
449
00:21:24,726 --> 00:21:26,727
- I saw your show in Edinburgh.
- Oh, really?
450
00:21:26,761 --> 00:21:29,836
This is crazy. I just think you're
so brilliant... (TALKING INAUDIBLY)
451
00:21:29,983 --> 00:21:31,518
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
452
00:21:32,982 --> 00:21:33,983
(PHONE VIBRATES)
453
00:21:41,087 --> 00:21:42,188
Reese!
454
00:21:42,288 --> 00:21:43,359
Robyn, hi.
455
00:21:43,393 --> 00:21:44,539
It's good to see you.
456
00:21:44,573 --> 00:21:45,656
Same.
457
00:21:45,690 --> 00:21:47,758
- What are you doing here?
- Just work. You?
458
00:21:47,792 --> 00:21:49,593
I'm here to meet...
459
00:21:51,362 --> 00:21:53,234
I'm not meeting Allie Gregs, am I?
460
00:21:53,859 --> 00:21:56,156
Christ. How do you people
creep in so quick?
461
00:21:56,255 --> 00:21:58,375
I take it you're looking after
Dan Proctor these days.
462
00:21:58,567 --> 00:22:00,258
(LAUGHS) Why don't we grab a drink?
463
00:22:04,005 --> 00:22:05,422
(CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)
464
00:22:06,223 --> 00:22:08,190
- Um. Yes, I...
- Hello. Is it Reese?
465
00:22:08,557 --> 00:22:11,274
Not exactly. Um, should we get a drink?
466
00:22:17,682 --> 00:22:18,683
(EXCLAIMS)
467
00:22:19,382 --> 00:22:20,417
Yeah.
468
00:22:20,487 --> 00:22:21,846
CAROLINE: Three Edinburgh festivals.
469
00:22:21,879 --> 00:22:24,714
Eighty-seater, eighty-seater,
one hundred and twenty-seater.
470
00:22:25,055 --> 00:22:26,899
Regular slot at London clubs,
471
00:22:26,933 --> 00:22:28,791
average capacity between
two, three hundred.
472
00:22:29,501 --> 00:22:31,524
Modest regional touring circuit.
473
00:22:31,558 --> 00:22:33,511
- What's your point?
- My point is you're funny.
474
00:22:33,589 --> 00:22:34,708
You have something to say.
475
00:22:35,067 --> 00:22:38,036
Unfortunately right now,
no one is hearing you say it.
476
00:22:38,409 --> 00:22:40,440
Dan Procter plays to
more people in one night
477
00:22:40,613 --> 00:22:42,840
than you have played to in the
entire four years of your career.
478
00:22:42,873 --> 00:22:44,313
He won't when I'm finished with him.
479
00:22:44,493 --> 00:22:45,971
Do you really think so?
480
00:22:46,101 --> 00:22:47,722
That video has been up
twenty-four hours.
481
00:22:47,756 --> 00:22:49,519
It's already been watched
by nearly a million people.
482
00:22:49,552 --> 00:22:51,159
Have you read all the comments?
483
00:22:52,289 --> 00:22:54,534
A biting interview with Abigail Reese,
484
00:22:54,589 --> 00:22:57,224
tearing Mr. Proctor
to shreds would be fun
485
00:22:57,258 --> 00:23:00,487
and fair, but it's not
going to change things.
486
00:23:00,950 --> 00:23:03,359
The same people will still be
sitting in the same pub saying,
487
00:23:03,393 --> 00:23:05,222
I don't see what all the fuss is about.
488
00:23:05,833 --> 00:23:08,659
You don't change opinions by
talking to the nodding-dog
489
00:23:08,693 --> 00:23:10,901
Guardian readers who
already agree with you.
490
00:23:11,263 --> 00:23:14,766
You change them by pissing
in the mainstream.
491
00:23:15,260 --> 00:23:16,728
How exactly do I do that?
492
00:23:17,763 --> 00:23:18,963
Okay.
493
00:23:23,415 --> 00:23:26,751
Entitled, chauvinistic, ball bag
494
00:23:26,874 --> 00:23:30,243
picks fight he can't win
with unknown trans comedian.
495
00:23:31,162 --> 00:23:32,296
Ooh.
496
00:23:32,330 --> 00:23:33,722
Looking forward to this.
497
00:23:36,056 --> 00:23:37,524
The perfect PR stunt.
498
00:23:37,744 --> 00:23:39,159
Excuse me?
499
00:23:39,193 --> 00:23:40,318
Think about it.
500
00:23:40,352 --> 00:23:42,787
Dan Proctor is about to
announce his biggest tour ever.
501
00:23:42,910 --> 00:23:44,945
Eighteen dates, four at the O2.
502
00:23:45,015 --> 00:23:47,416
You said it yourself. No one
talks about Dan Proctor anymore.
503
00:23:47,451 --> 00:23:50,667
He's middle of the road. Mainstream.
Not an edge in sight.
504
00:23:50,768 --> 00:23:51,853
But...
505
00:23:51,922 --> 00:23:55,339
If Dan Procter were to be
supported on that tour
506
00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:58,156
by the most dynamic and
exciting comedian on
507
00:23:58,190 --> 00:24:00,268
the circuit who just so
happens to be trans...
508
00:24:00,317 --> 00:24:03,058
Now. That's an interesting story.
509
00:24:03,859 --> 00:24:05,694
Not to mention an extraordinary platform
510
00:24:05,728 --> 00:24:09,164
for such a vocal ambassador of
the trans community as yourself.
511
00:24:09,495 --> 00:24:11,081
If that were the case,
512
00:24:11,467 --> 00:24:13,308
then staging a fight with that comedian,
513
00:24:13,342 --> 00:24:15,401
a fight that actively holds up a mirror
514
00:24:15,435 --> 00:24:18,323
to the ignorance that trans
people face every single day...
515
00:24:18,357 --> 00:24:20,893
A fight that accidentally
got leaked to a million people.
516
00:24:20,927 --> 00:24:22,647
Well, that just might be
a stroke of genius.
517
00:24:24,146 --> 00:24:26,479
Okay, I see where
you're going here. But why...
518
00:24:26,513 --> 00:24:29,383
The fuck would I even consider
sharing a stage with that prick?
519
00:24:29,930 --> 00:24:31,931
I'm not being funny, but...
520
00:24:32,117 --> 00:24:35,214
If you want me to eat that shit, you
need to at least give me a spoon.
521
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:37,346
Dan's management has agreed to give
522
00:24:37,379 --> 00:24:39,287
ten percent of the profits to Stonewall.
523
00:24:40,057 --> 00:24:42,345
As well as mention them
in all publicity.
524
00:24:43,105 --> 00:24:45,373
He's one of the best known
comedians in the UK.
525
00:24:45,660 --> 00:24:47,407
Twelve million Twitter followers.
526
00:24:47,489 --> 00:24:48,846
You think people would
actually believe it?
527
00:24:48,879 --> 00:24:51,720
They will if they're given an
exclusive by a credible journalist.
528
00:24:51,947 --> 00:24:54,548
Particularly if that credible
journalist happens to be
529
00:24:54,986 --> 00:24:57,452
a heavy influencer
in the LGBTQ community.
530
00:24:57,896 --> 00:25:01,712
Wouldn't it be fun to be the one
journalist who actually got the joke?
531
00:25:02,504 --> 00:25:04,611
Okay, okay, I get it.
It's a great platform.
532
00:25:04,645 --> 00:25:06,782
You're all crusaders for the cause
533
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:11,342
and all that. That's grand. But
let's cut the crap, shall we?
534
00:25:13,175 --> 00:25:14,345
How much?
535
00:25:16,378 --> 00:25:17,945
Forty-five minutes material.
536
00:25:18,045 --> 00:25:19,728
Fifty percent of the box office.
537
00:25:19,838 --> 00:25:21,339
The O2 is not exactly small.
538
00:25:21,373 --> 00:25:22,772
Stonewall's ten percent
comes out of his cut.
539
00:25:22,805 --> 00:25:23,810
Okay.
540
00:25:23,844 --> 00:25:26,251
- Plus you represent me for free.
- For the first six months.
541
00:25:26,312 --> 00:25:27,540
- Twelve.
- Eight.
542
00:25:28,287 --> 00:25:29,493
Deal
543
00:25:30,258 --> 00:25:31,759
Nice doing business with you.
544
00:25:31,793 --> 00:25:33,094
And he's agreed to all this?
545
00:25:33,357 --> 00:25:34,486
Of course, he has.
546
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:37,478
Fifty percent?
547
00:25:37,512 --> 00:25:39,681
It's actually forty
when you factor in Stonewall.
548
00:25:39,855 --> 00:25:41,525
Not to mention our fee.
549
00:25:41,781 --> 00:25:45,173
Well, it's madness! Whatever
happened to freedom of speech?
550
00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:47,702
What, the PC patrol
get to dictate what I can
551
00:25:47,743 --> 00:25:49,353
and can't talk about now, do they?
552
00:25:49,439 --> 00:25:52,634
Dan, I think you can talk
about whatever you like.
553
00:25:52,871 --> 00:25:54,345
You just have to be funny.
554
00:25:54,692 --> 00:25:58,032
Belle, get Mr. Proctor here
a glass of fizzy water.
555
00:25:58,417 --> 00:26:00,318
And stick a little gin in it. Thanks.
556
00:26:04,281 --> 00:26:06,282
Do you think my Popeye routine is shit?
557
00:26:07,454 --> 00:26:09,956
(LAUGHING) EVE: Absolutely.
That's lovely.
558
00:26:10,487 --> 00:26:13,072
That's lovely.
It's all lovely. It's great.
559
00:26:13,337 --> 00:26:15,739
Get some more face. Fantastic.
560
00:26:15,773 --> 00:26:18,042
Um, sorry, just, um...
561
00:26:20,827 --> 00:26:22,775
It's... It's ginger. Is that a problem?
562
00:26:22,841 --> 00:26:24,767
Lots of babies are
born with ginger hair.
563
00:26:24,801 --> 00:26:26,564
Most lose it in the first year.
564
00:26:26,926 --> 00:26:29,427
- I did not know that. Hm!
- (LAUGHING) Mmm-hmm.
565
00:26:29,464 --> 00:26:31,064
PHOTOGRAPHER: Nice big smile. Very nice.
566
00:26:32,086 --> 00:26:33,259
So what do you do?
567
00:26:34,431 --> 00:26:36,906
- I'm the mother of the real baby.
- You?
568
00:26:37,806 --> 00:26:41,923
Uh... I suppose I'm the
mother of the fake baby.
569
00:26:42,236 --> 00:26:43,270
Hmm.
570
00:26:54,546 --> 00:26:55,881
All set with Allie?
571
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:58,579
- May I?
- Yeah.
572
00:27:09,004 --> 00:27:11,576
So, how's Sam?
573
00:27:12,624 --> 00:27:13,888
He's great.
574
00:27:15,681 --> 00:27:16,921
We must stop meeting like this.
575
00:27:18,566 --> 00:27:19,566
How's tricks?
576
00:27:20,456 --> 00:27:22,052
How's tricks? Tricks are good.
577
00:27:23,810 --> 00:27:25,318
Maybe we should get a drink later.
578
00:27:25,667 --> 00:27:27,278
- Old times sake.
- I don't think so.
579
00:27:27,599 --> 00:27:29,146
What was it you always used to say?
580
00:27:30,052 --> 00:27:32,232
- Girls don't count.
- Reese...
581
00:27:32,271 --> 00:27:35,217
Oh, come on. Don't tell me you're
no fun anymore. Of all people...
582
00:27:35,279 --> 00:27:36,964
The reason I don't want
to fuck you is not
583
00:27:36,998 --> 00:27:38,758
'cause I'm no fun, it's
'cause you're a c~nt.
584
00:27:39,232 --> 00:27:40,912
Now please take your hand off my ass.
585
00:27:41,052 --> 00:27:42,191
There's my girl.
586
00:27:42,599 --> 00:27:44,982
Christ, I cannot wait
to get shmammered tonight.
587
00:27:45,451 --> 00:27:47,232
- Reese...
- Eve. How are ya?
588
00:27:47,273 --> 00:27:49,732
Oh, you know. Kicking ass,
taking names. You?
589
00:27:49,825 --> 00:27:50,893
Great.
590
00:27:51,986 --> 00:27:52,986
Nice to see you.
591
00:27:56,736 --> 00:27:59,304
- What?
- Nothing. A bit awkward.
592
00:27:59,517 --> 00:28:01,720
Mmm... It's fine. Ancient history.
593
00:28:01,853 --> 00:28:04,072
I hate bumping into post shags.
594
00:28:04,228 --> 00:28:06,803
I once went to a dinner party,
and got stuck opposite a guy
595
00:28:06,837 --> 00:28:09,267
I'd spent an hour
tromboning the weekend before.
596
00:28:09,384 --> 00:28:11,642
Kept getting combat flashbacks.
597
00:28:11,905 --> 00:28:14,107
- May I ponce?
- Mmm, feel free.
598
00:28:16,392 --> 00:28:17,970
Oh, my God.
599
00:28:19,328 --> 00:28:22,048
- Oh, no, no, no. It's not...
- Shut the front door, that's amazing.
600
00:28:23,123 --> 00:28:24,124
Really?
601
00:28:24,212 --> 00:28:27,648
Christ, yes. It's terrifying,
mental, but amazing.
602
00:28:27,954 --> 00:28:30,220
It's times like this I wish
my tear ducts worked.
603
00:28:31,962 --> 00:28:34,264
This is not the response I expected.
604
00:28:34,626 --> 00:28:37,866
Why not? It would be a travesty
not to continue your gene pool.
605
00:28:38,275 --> 00:28:40,369
I love a mini you hanging around.
606
00:28:40,736 --> 00:28:43,471
We can dress it in freebies and use
it to get good parking spaces.
607
00:28:43,992 --> 00:28:45,283
Just make sure it's not a boy.
608
00:28:45,317 --> 00:28:48,267
Ugh. Don't get too excited. It may
not even be a possibility.
609
00:28:48,501 --> 00:28:50,744
I've not exactly looked after
myself all these years.
610
00:28:51,369 --> 00:28:52,556
Look, babe.
611
00:28:53,078 --> 00:28:55,361
Sam's amazing. He's like a grown-up,
612
00:28:55,439 --> 00:28:57,040
but a grown-up you
want to hang out with.
613
00:28:57,126 --> 00:28:58,816
Just promise me you won't leave me.
614
00:28:58,916 --> 00:29:01,186
Buy a Land Rover and move
to some god-forsaken hamlet,
615
00:29:01,220 --> 00:29:03,718
wearing nothing but wellies and
clothes with human waste on them.
616
00:29:03,751 --> 00:29:05,988
If it happens, and
that is a great big if.
617
00:29:06,088 --> 00:29:09,220
I will be back here within a week
with that thing hanging off my tit.
618
00:29:09,815 --> 00:29:10,939
Promise?
619
00:29:11,214 --> 00:29:12,447
Promise.
620
00:29:13,425 --> 00:29:15,628
I don't want to touch it much,
so don't be offended.
621
00:29:21,178 --> 00:29:23,003
- Hi.
- Hey.
622
00:29:23,389 --> 00:29:25,108
- You still up for tonight?
- Yeah, of course.
623
00:29:25,141 --> 00:29:26,769
Amazing. I thought we could go to this
624
00:29:26,803 --> 00:29:28,004
place my mate was telling me about.
625
00:29:28,037 --> 00:29:29,131
They only do hotdogs,
626
00:29:29,165 --> 00:29:30,637
and then for pudding you have a hotdog
627
00:29:30,670 --> 00:29:31,746
as well, but it's made of ice cream.
628
00:29:31,779 --> 00:29:33,397
- That sounds brilliant.
- I know. And apparently,
629
00:29:33,430 --> 00:29:35,550
instead of ketchup you get this sauce-
630
00:29:36,905 --> 00:29:39,419
Melody, will you trace out that
copy for the okay announcement?
631
00:29:39,453 --> 00:29:41,053
Yeah, of course.
I'll do that right away.
632
00:29:41,871 --> 00:29:43,966
Why are you being weird?
Have you farted?
633
00:29:45,108 --> 00:29:47,224
Yep. Sorry.
634
00:29:53,347 --> 00:29:57,239
Sorry. Um... You were
saying about ketchup?
635
00:29:58,113 --> 00:30:00,068
Oh, uh. It's strawberry sauce.
636
00:30:00,237 --> 00:30:02,239
That sounds excellent.
637
00:30:02,521 --> 00:30:05,490
Okay. You can text me the address
and I'll meet you there?
638
00:30:06,450 --> 00:30:07,794
(WHISPERS) Okay, bye.
639
00:30:12,886 --> 00:30:14,887
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
640
00:30:35,026 --> 00:30:36,801
EVE: This better be worth it.
641
00:30:36,842 --> 00:30:39,404
This is not the sort of underwear you
wear if nobody is going see it.
642
00:30:39,437 --> 00:30:40,712
If it doesn't work
out, I'll just have to flash
643
00:30:40,745 --> 00:30:42,281
the mini-cab driver on my way home.
644
00:30:51,162 --> 00:30:53,403
Oh, shit. I'm sorry. I keep
forgetting about the whole...
645
00:30:54,298 --> 00:30:55,992
- Just to calm the nerves.
- It's fine.
646
00:30:56,050 --> 00:30:59,172
Oi, oi! Here we are! Hi!
647
00:30:59,206 --> 00:31:01,242
Hi, beautiful. Happy birthday!
(SQUEALING)
648
00:31:01,285 --> 00:31:02,386
You remember Eve?
649
00:31:02,427 --> 00:31:05,491
I do! Oh, my God, you look stunning.
650
00:31:05,578 --> 00:31:07,149
God, if I wore that, I would look like a
651
00:31:07,182 --> 00:31:09,050
baby in a bib-bag, but
you look fantastic.
652
00:31:09,230 --> 00:31:11,366
Actually I was going for sushi roll.
653
00:31:11,435 --> 00:31:12,935
(ALL CHUCKLING)
654
00:31:12,989 --> 00:31:13,989
Hey.
655
00:31:16,422 --> 00:31:19,789
Oh, my God. It's gorgeous!
656
00:31:20,085 --> 00:31:21,469
I saw you eyeing up that woman's when
657
00:31:21,502 --> 00:31:22,779
we were at lunch a couple weeks ago.
658
00:31:22,812 --> 00:31:25,118
And I thought the color would go
great with that new coat you bought.
659
00:31:25,151 --> 00:31:28,570
Oh, it's perfect. It's a freebie, yeah?
660
00:31:30,595 --> 00:31:32,469
No, it's fine! Honestly.
661
00:31:32,503 --> 00:31:34,672
I'd have beaten the crap out of you if
662
00:31:34,706 --> 00:31:36,367
you'd spent that much
money on a handbag.
663
00:31:36,458 --> 00:31:39,391
All right. Jager bombs.
Come on. Who's with me?
664
00:31:53,505 --> 00:31:54,839
- Hi.
- Hey.
665
00:31:56,708 --> 00:31:59,202
Nice to see you outside of a
church function, I mean...
666
00:31:59,584 --> 00:32:01,506
- You look great. Aww.
- This old thing?
667
00:32:02,272 --> 00:32:03,772
Uh, can I get a coke, please?
668
00:32:04,818 --> 00:32:08,854
Wow. This is not exactly how my
sponsorships usually pan out.
669
00:32:09,281 --> 00:32:10,682
More fun, though, right?
670
00:32:10,767 --> 00:32:14,631
Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Um, I've
never been on a blind date before.
671
00:32:15,055 --> 00:32:16,522
How did you know I was single?
672
00:32:16,556 --> 00:32:19,569
Or was I just rocking the whole
sad, desperate, heartbroken vibe?
673
00:32:19,603 --> 00:32:20,603
No. No, not at all.
674
00:32:20,637 --> 00:32:22,069
Well, that's a relief.
675
00:32:22,530 --> 00:32:24,067
I'm sorry to hear
you had your heart broken.
676
00:32:24,100 --> 00:32:26,635
Oh, it will fix right.
That's what I'm assured.
677
00:32:26,991 --> 00:32:28,050
Recent?
678
00:32:28,185 --> 00:32:31,374
Fairly. A bit messy, so I'm,
you know, in chaos.
679
00:32:31,428 --> 00:32:33,380
I think I'm familiar with
that place. How did...
680
00:32:33,423 --> 00:32:36,155
She screwed someone else.
Yeah, so that was good.
681
00:32:37,627 --> 00:32:39,796
Hey. Leave her alone. She's mine.
682
00:32:40,116 --> 00:32:41,819
Oh, this is... This is Ruth.
683
00:32:42,267 --> 00:32:46,373
Ruth! Wow. It's... Robyn said
you were a very sexy lady.
684
00:32:46,468 --> 00:32:47,522
Did she now?
685
00:32:47,556 --> 00:32:50,608
No, this is my sister. That
was Eve I was talking about.
686
00:32:51,740 --> 00:32:55,238
Brilliant. Cheers. Eve's taking a piss,
687
00:32:55,272 --> 00:32:56,850
but it's nice to meet you anyway.
688
00:32:57,028 --> 00:32:58,129
It's my birthday.
689
00:32:58,186 --> 00:33:00,087
Oh! Happy birthday.
690
00:33:00,145 --> 00:33:02,452
(MUFFLED) Mm.
691
00:33:02,672 --> 00:33:04,070
I'm so sorry. I didn't
know you were coming.
692
00:33:04,103 --> 00:33:05,459
I didn't get you any jager bombs.
693
00:33:05,500 --> 00:33:08,014
Hey, you know what? That is...
That is quite all right.
694
00:33:08,048 --> 00:33:09,971
But listen, why don't
I get the next round.
695
00:33:10,005 --> 00:33:12,131
What do you want, the same again? Okay.
696
00:33:13,005 --> 00:33:14,622
- He seems nice.
- He's here for Eve.
697
00:33:14,681 --> 00:33:17,084
Don't get your knickers in a twist.
I just did some coke!
698
00:33:17,118 --> 00:33:18,205
- What?
- Yeah.
699
00:33:18,239 --> 00:33:20,507
Eve has some in her little thing.
Those are good, aren't they?
700
00:33:20,540 --> 00:33:21,574
Jesus, Ruth.
701
00:33:21,608 --> 00:33:22,685
Oh, don't be all holier-than-thou
702
00:33:22,718 --> 00:33:24,838
just because you are off of it
for the millionth time.
703
00:33:24,903 --> 00:33:26,504
(SINGSONG) It's my birthday.
704
00:33:27,734 --> 00:33:29,067
It's your birthday.
705
00:33:30,856 --> 00:33:32,811
- Don't tell Tom.
- Right. Whose round?
706
00:33:33,225 --> 00:33:34,428
Tom's getting us some drinks.
707
00:33:34,462 --> 00:33:36,491
Oh he's here, is he? Is he a freak?
708
00:33:36,528 --> 00:33:37,655
He seems really nice.
709
00:33:37,689 --> 00:33:39,515
He is really nice, and you guys
need to calm the fuck down
710
00:33:39,548 --> 00:33:40,921
and stop acting like
the witches of Eastwood
711
00:33:40,954 --> 00:33:42,234
or he's going to think
we're all a bunch of crazies.
712
00:33:42,267 --> 00:33:43,483
Hey! What do you care?
713
00:33:43,556 --> 00:33:48,195
Okay, so in spirit of mixing drinks,
I thought I'd get you tequilas.
714
00:33:48,244 --> 00:33:49,545
(WHOOPING)
715
00:33:49,679 --> 00:33:52,139
- Tom, this is Eve.
- Oh, Eve. Uh...
716
00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:54,869
I don't actually drink tequila. Do
you mind getting me something else?
717
00:33:54,902 --> 00:33:58,038
Yeah, no. Uh, yeah,
what, uh... Jager bomb?
718
00:33:58,318 --> 00:34:00,420
Jager bomb it is. I'll get that.
719
00:34:00,716 --> 00:34:02,054
Since when do you not like tequila?
720
00:34:02,087 --> 00:34:03,287
I'm negging him.
721
00:34:03,668 --> 00:34:04,802
All part of the strat.
722
00:34:05,945 --> 00:34:07,213
This is fun.
723
00:34:09,751 --> 00:34:11,795
- Well, this place is wicked!
- Yeah.
724
00:34:12,045 --> 00:34:13,937
Heard some of the girls
talking about it at work.
725
00:34:13,970 --> 00:34:15,868
And apparently, they
serve a cocktail here
726
00:34:15,902 --> 00:34:18,342
that's, like, got an
actual goldfish in it.
727
00:34:18,684 --> 00:34:20,780
- Sick.
- Yeah.
728
00:34:23,286 --> 00:34:25,748
(NERVOUS LAUGH) I'm having
such a fun night.
729
00:34:25,953 --> 00:34:27,295
- Really?
- Mmm-hmm
730
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:29,858
Oh, God. I was so nervous
when I asked you out.
731
00:34:29,996 --> 00:34:31,796
I've never really been out with
one of the office girls before.
732
00:34:31,829 --> 00:34:32,867
They don't really talk to me.
733
00:34:32,900 --> 00:34:35,795
Just give me dirty looks when I'm
replacing their printer paper.
734
00:34:35,829 --> 00:34:37,342
- Oh, my God.
- What?
735
00:34:37,376 --> 00:34:41,420
Sorry, I've just, like... (STUTTERING)
I've just bitten my tongue.
736
00:34:42,226 --> 00:34:44,661
Sorry... (BOTH LAUGH NERVOUSLY)
737
00:34:45,488 --> 00:34:46,622
Carry on.
738
00:34:47,626 --> 00:34:49,677
- So you guys met at the drugs thing?
- Eve.
739
00:34:49,711 --> 00:34:51,320
Oh sorry, sorry. Is that
supposed to be a secret?
740
00:34:51,353 --> 00:34:53,663
No, the name "narcotics
anonymous" is just ironic.
741
00:34:53,697 --> 00:34:55,497
ROBYN: Why don't we talk
about something else?
742
00:34:55,608 --> 00:34:56,943
Tom, what's your story?
743
00:34:57,943 --> 00:34:59,241
My story?
744
00:34:59,306 --> 00:35:01,499
Banker, lost loads of money,
couldn't hack it?
745
00:35:01,545 --> 00:35:05,217
Not quite. I was a dancer at English
National Ballet for eleven years.
746
00:35:05,685 --> 00:35:09,588
I started taking the coke to keep
my energy up. Keep the weight off.
747
00:35:10,047 --> 00:35:13,702
Then I busted my ankle. Couldn't
dance anymore, so left the company,
748
00:35:13,736 --> 00:35:17,514
but I didn't leave the coke. And it
got to the stage where I realized,
749
00:35:17,702 --> 00:35:21,473
I needed to stop doing it, 'cause
it turned me into a massive dick.
750
00:35:21,876 --> 00:35:25,178
So you're a ballet dancer.
That's hilarious.
751
00:35:25,697 --> 00:35:27,514
I knew you had a bit of gay in you.
752
00:35:27,568 --> 00:35:29,599
Speaking of which, I'm going for a fag.
753
00:35:29,901 --> 00:35:32,131
- Anyone else?
- No thanks, I'm good.
754
00:35:35,976 --> 00:35:39,044
You see, you're not what
I imaged a PR girl to be.
755
00:35:39,472 --> 00:35:41,807
She's exactly what
I imagined a PR girl to be.
756
00:35:42,057 --> 00:35:43,925
She's all right underneath.
She's just nervous.
757
00:35:44,887 --> 00:35:49,090
Oi, you! I want tequila.
758
00:35:50,551 --> 00:35:51,967
It makes me happy.
759
00:35:54,199 --> 00:35:55,788
The thing is I get so
nervous, and all this
760
00:35:55,821 --> 00:35:57,545
crazy stuff comes out,
'cause I'm freaking out
761
00:35:57,578 --> 00:36:00,246
and my mouth just starts,
you know, chat, chat, chatting.
762
00:36:00,641 --> 00:36:02,109
Oh, my God.
763
00:36:02,143 --> 00:36:03,530
What? Bite your tongue again?
764
00:36:04,767 --> 00:36:06,200
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
765
00:36:13,203 --> 00:36:14,304
Wow.
766
00:36:14,586 --> 00:36:15,694
I'm sorry.
767
00:36:25,864 --> 00:36:29,867
Um... Would you like
to go somewhere else?
768
00:36:31,154 --> 00:36:32,254
Sounds great.
769
00:36:32,304 --> 00:36:33,428
Great.
770
00:36:36,222 --> 00:36:39,359
This is Kelly. She's so clever.
(PHONE BUZZING)
771
00:36:39,654 --> 00:36:40,654
She's awesome.
772
00:36:40,696 --> 00:36:41,831
- Hey.
- It's me.
773
00:36:41,894 --> 00:36:43,529
Have you seen The Guardian online?
774
00:36:49,208 --> 00:36:50,238
(CLUB MUSIC PLAYING)
775
00:36:50,272 --> 00:36:52,667
Congratulations. You just
reversed back up a cliff.
776
00:36:52,774 --> 00:36:54,737
Yeah, it's a bit like
when I had that colonoscopy.
777
00:36:54,771 --> 00:36:55,941
I know I should have thanked the doctor,
778
00:36:55,974 --> 00:36:57,712
but all I wanted to do
was punch him in the face.
779
00:36:57,745 --> 00:36:58,948
You're welcome, Dan.
780
00:36:59,217 --> 00:37:00,753
"Middle-aged comedian."
781
00:37:00,825 --> 00:37:03,260
172,000 words in the English language,
782
00:37:03,770 --> 00:37:05,268
and that's my adjective? Is that...
783
00:37:05,302 --> 00:37:06,302
We'll speak soon.
784
00:37:11,517 --> 00:37:13,518
Hey! No work tonight, please.
785
00:37:15,985 --> 00:37:18,566
Okay, so if I told you I had some
coke in my bag, could I tempt you?
786
00:37:18,599 --> 00:37:21,003
Boy, yeah, you could certainly tempt me.
787
00:37:21,037 --> 00:37:24,323
I think that would be a strange thing
to do to recovering drug addict.
788
00:37:24,423 --> 00:37:25,490
Drug addict?
789
00:37:25,676 --> 00:37:26,676
Sounds exciting.
790
00:37:27,286 --> 00:37:28,320
Really?
791
00:37:30,019 --> 00:37:31,086
(SNIFFS SHARPLY)
792
00:37:31,659 --> 00:37:33,190
(CHUCKLES) What are you doing?
793
00:37:33,224 --> 00:37:34,224
Uh, what do you mean?
794
00:37:34,317 --> 00:37:35,346
I don't know.
795
00:37:35,380 --> 00:37:37,933
I can't figure out if you're
trying to be cool or sexy,
796
00:37:37,967 --> 00:37:40,112
or if you're just a massive tit.
797
00:37:41,644 --> 00:37:42,870
I mean, look at you,
798
00:37:42,904 --> 00:37:45,639
you're wearing stockings.
This isn't Mad Men.
799
00:37:45,803 --> 00:37:47,370
It's a Wednesday night.
800
00:37:47,690 --> 00:37:50,216
Your underwear probably costs more
than a mini break to Budapest.
801
00:37:50,249 --> 00:37:54,252
Don't get me wrong. You look hot,
but Budapest is a beautiful city.
802
00:37:54,414 --> 00:37:57,526
And as for this, do you
really think I care?
803
00:37:57,857 --> 00:38:01,370
I stopped being impressed by
people taking drugs when I was 14.
804
00:38:01,517 --> 00:38:04,932
A drunken goatman got so high he
started seeing ghosts in a kebab shop.
805
00:38:04,966 --> 00:38:07,668
Shat his Fred Perry jeans. Yes, okay?
806
00:38:08,011 --> 00:38:10,409
I did a lot of cocaine.
No, I don't do it anymore.
807
00:38:10,443 --> 00:38:11,909
Now, can we please move on
808
00:38:12,008 --> 00:38:14,987
before I take one of your
stupidly high-heeled shoes
809
00:38:15,021 --> 00:38:17,123
and stab myself in the eye
810
00:38:17,302 --> 00:38:19,437
just to stop your banter?
811
00:38:20,282 --> 00:38:22,418
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
812
00:38:22,510 --> 00:38:24,144
I'm sorry. That was a little bit...
813
00:38:24,178 --> 00:38:25,846
- I'll, uh, go.
- You have to come with me.
814
00:38:25,879 --> 00:38:27,080
- What?
- Mmm.
815
00:38:27,144 --> 00:38:28,623
Me. Come with me. Now.
816
00:38:28,955 --> 00:38:30,923
- Just get in there.
- Right. We're in here.
817
00:38:31,809 --> 00:38:34,990
- What are you doing?
- (BREATHING HEAVILY)
818
00:38:37,115 --> 00:38:38,474
(GRUNTS) Okay, now...
819
00:38:38,686 --> 00:38:40,458
(BOTH MOANING)
820
00:38:42,413 --> 00:38:44,080
Ouch. Ouch.
821
00:38:45,868 --> 00:38:47,115
I want you to fuck me.
822
00:38:47,149 --> 00:38:48,250
Okay.
823
00:38:49,874 --> 00:38:51,147
Don't you want this?
824
00:38:51,771 --> 00:38:52,771
And this...
825
00:38:53,264 --> 00:38:54,381
And this...
826
00:38:55,668 --> 00:38:57,053
(MOANING) Yeah. Um...
827
00:38:57,100 --> 00:38:59,460
Why are you acting like you're
in a chocolate mousse advert?
828
00:39:00,349 --> 00:39:02,279
(MOANS) I want you to destroy me.
829
00:39:02,313 --> 00:39:04,114
Okay. I mean, that sounds great though.
830
00:39:04,531 --> 00:39:06,113
- We're in a disabled toilet.
- I know.
831
00:39:06,146 --> 00:39:07,489
Look, there's a bar on the wall for
832
00:39:07,522 --> 00:39:09,122
people getting in and
out of wheelchairs.
833
00:39:09,331 --> 00:39:10,833
- Wheelchairs.
- It's one of those pulley things
834
00:39:10,866 --> 00:39:12,534
- for if you have an accident.
- Uh-huh.
835
00:39:12,568 --> 00:39:14,803
Why don't you come back
to my nice, comfy flat.
836
00:39:15,115 --> 00:39:16,883
- We'll stick some music on.
- Stick on.
837
00:39:16,917 --> 00:39:19,019
And then we can think about
destroying each other.
838
00:39:20,580 --> 00:39:22,282
Okay? Okay.
839
00:39:22,316 --> 00:39:23,350
All right.
840
00:39:24,224 --> 00:39:26,792
(CLUB MUSIC PLAYING)
841
00:39:26,826 --> 00:39:29,962
Oh, my God. I wish I could
do this every fucking day!
842
00:39:30,148 --> 00:39:31,982
Believe me, you don't.
843
00:39:32,101 --> 00:39:34,070
Yes, I fucking do!
844
00:39:39,196 --> 00:39:40,569
(SOFTLY) Oh, for fuck's sake.
845
00:39:42,580 --> 00:39:45,583
(SOBS) Sorry. I'm just
really fucking drunk.
846
00:39:47,431 --> 00:39:48,998
I need another drink.
847
00:39:49,074 --> 00:39:50,421
All right. I'll get you one.
848
00:40:11,214 --> 00:40:13,416
Hey! Hey!
849
00:40:13,490 --> 00:40:16,125
Get off her. She's got two
kids at home, you sleaze!
850
00:40:17,517 --> 00:40:18,584
(GROANS)
851
00:40:18,618 --> 00:40:20,711
(RETCHES) ROBYN: Whoa!
852
00:40:20,815 --> 00:40:23,184
All right, al right. Come on.
853
00:40:39,359 --> 00:40:40,460
ROBYN: Come on.
854
00:40:48,508 --> 00:40:49,809
RUTH: I want popcorn.
855
00:40:50,128 --> 00:40:51,128
ROBYN: All right.
856
00:40:51,538 --> 00:40:53,477
All right. Come on.
857
00:40:55,378 --> 00:40:57,179
(ROBYN GRUNTS) RUTH: Okay, just...
858
00:40:57,804 --> 00:40:59,038
Hold on.
859
00:40:59,266 --> 00:41:00,477
ROBYN: Yep. Come on.
860
00:41:01,141 --> 00:41:02,319
Feet, up.
861
00:41:02,686 --> 00:41:03,954
(RETCHING)
862
00:41:04,054 --> 00:41:05,255
(GROANING)
863
00:41:05,555 --> 00:41:06,789
The hell is going on?
864
00:41:06,889 --> 00:41:08,362
(SPITS) She's feeling a little rough.
865
00:41:08,395 --> 00:41:10,264
I can speak for myself!
866
00:41:11,899 --> 00:41:13,219
I'm feeling a little rough.
867
00:41:13,253 --> 00:41:14,653
Jesus, Ruth, what's wrong with you?
868
00:41:14,777 --> 00:41:16,430
Oh, F-off!
869
00:41:16,464 --> 00:41:17,735
Oh, that's nice. That's really nice.
870
00:41:17,768 --> 00:41:20,063
I am here every day.
I'm looking after them...
871
00:41:20,139 --> 00:41:21,441
KELLY: Mummy?
872
00:41:22,041 --> 00:41:24,876
Oh, hey, baby. Hey. Did Mo...
873
00:41:25,710 --> 00:41:27,516
(VOMITING AND COUGHING)
874
00:41:27,570 --> 00:41:28,727
Is Mummy sick?
875
00:41:28,768 --> 00:41:30,368
Mommy is just feeling
a little poorly, sweetheart.
876
00:41:30,401 --> 00:41:31,759
MARK: Come on, let's
get you back to bed.
877
00:41:31,792 --> 00:41:32,792
I want Mommy.
878
00:41:32,826 --> 00:41:34,546
MARK: Yeah, well,
she's making silly noises.
879
00:41:36,185 --> 00:41:37,520
I want Mummy.
880
00:41:40,088 --> 00:41:42,490
I'm twenty-fucking-nine.
881
00:41:43,355 --> 00:41:44,556
(RETCHING)
882
00:41:50,211 --> 00:41:51,912
(SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE)
883
00:41:52,037 --> 00:41:54,547
(MELLOW SONG PLAYING)
884
00:41:54,597 --> 00:41:59,147
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