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00:00:01,436 --> 00:00:03,046
Previously
onCrazy Ex-Girlfriend...
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00:00:03,090 --> 00:00:06,093
Thank you. You are really always
there when I need someone.
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00:00:06,136 --> 00:00:09,313
Nathaniel, what you just did
meant a lot to me, really.
4
00:00:11,620 --> 00:00:13,535
You know, we should, uh... Yeah.I-I should get my stuff.
5
00:00:13,578 --> 00:00:15,102
You're choosing to stay
in West Covina?
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00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:17,104
Because I still care about you.
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00:00:17,147 --> 00:00:19,062
But I still really care
about you,
8
00:00:19,106 --> 00:00:21,456
like, so much.Me, too.
9
00:00:21,499 --> 00:00:23,588
Rebecca and I, we're
just friends again.
10
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:24,807
I'm sorry.
11
00:00:31,857 --> 00:00:34,860
♪ Meet Rebecca
12
00:00:34,904 --> 00:00:38,081
♪ She's the coolest girl
in the world, wait ♪
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00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:41,302
♪ Wrong Rebecca
14
00:00:41,345 --> 00:00:43,608
♪ It's this one over here
15
00:00:43,652 --> 00:00:46,568
♪ She's spunky, she's sweet,
a generous friend ♪
16
00:00:46,611 --> 00:00:49,092
♪ Oh, but there
she looks kind of mean ♪
17
00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:50,702
Hmm.♪ Okay, she's snarky
18
00:00:50,746 --> 00:00:52,835
♪ Sarcastic and a...
What? ♪
19
00:00:52,878 --> 00:00:56,621
♪ You know, we're not really
seeing a common theme ♪
20
00:00:56,665 --> 00:00:59,320
♪ Meet Rebecca
21
00:00:59,363 --> 00:01:02,149
♪ She's too hard
to summarize ♪
22
00:01:02,192 --> 00:01:05,282
♪ So let's go back
to Other Rebecca. ♪
23
00:01:05,326 --> 00:01:08,111
Asparagus is my enemy.
24
00:01:12,942 --> 00:01:14,378
[Rebecca scoffs]
25
00:01:14,422 --> 00:01:17,512
That community theater thing
was just such a disaster.
26
00:01:17,555 --> 00:01:20,123
So humiliating.
And it sucks because...
27
00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:22,343
I thought
it would make me happy.
28
00:01:22,386 --> 00:01:24,432
What am I supposed to do now?
29
00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:26,173
No, I'm not asking you, butter.
30
00:01:26,216 --> 00:01:27,261
You're never any help.
31
00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:30,612
I talk to butter. It's a thing.
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00:01:30,655 --> 00:01:31,700
Josh,
33
00:01:31,743 --> 00:01:33,310
what do I do with my life?
34
00:01:33,354 --> 00:01:35,573
Seriously. I thought
I'd landed on something
35
00:01:35,617 --> 00:01:37,227
with community theater,
and it's weird,
36
00:01:37,271 --> 00:01:39,751
because as frustrated
and confused as I am,
37
00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:41,275
I feel like I'm close
to something.
38
00:01:41,318 --> 00:01:43,277
I just... I just need to fight
through the confusion
39
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,148
and focus and not get distracted
40
00:01:45,192 --> 00:01:47,107
by the things that
normally blow me off course.
41
00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:48,934
Rebecca, I'm in
love with you.
42
00:01:52,024 --> 00:01:53,722
What?
43
00:01:53,765 --> 00:01:55,550
I'm in love with you.
44
00:01:55,593 --> 00:01:57,943
I'm sorry, allow me
to shift my focus completely.
45
00:01:57,987 --> 00:01:59,423
Uh, hold on a second.
46
00:01:59,467 --> 00:02:01,164
What?
47
00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:03,688
I'm in...No.
48
00:02:03,732 --> 00:02:06,126
I actually heard you. Um...
49
00:02:08,258 --> 00:02:10,217
What?I've been feeling
50
00:02:10,260 --> 00:02:13,437
like this for a while now,
but I tried to push it aside
51
00:02:13,481 --> 00:02:14,960
because our history
is complicated.
52
00:02:15,004 --> 00:02:16,701
But I can't
keep it inside anymore.
53
00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:18,094
Rebecca,
54
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,748
I saw you almost kiss Nathaniel,
55
00:02:19,791 --> 00:02:20,749
and now I need to know.
56
00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:22,577
Is it him?
57
00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:24,405
Or do I have a chance?
58
00:02:24,448 --> 00:02:26,885
Late.
What?
59
00:02:26,929 --> 00:02:29,279
I am late for work.
I'm late for work.
60
00:02:29,323 --> 00:02:31,890
And this is
an important conversation,
61
00:02:31,934 --> 00:02:34,284
but I don't want to rush it,
so bye, now.
62
00:02:35,285 --> 00:02:37,200
It's Nathaniel, isn't it?
63
00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:39,202
It's him, isn't it?
64
00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:48,733
Oh, my God.
65
00:02:48,777 --> 00:02:52,215
[chuckles]:
Oh, Julia, this view.Yeah?
66
00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:54,043
Oh, man. At my old firm,Uh-huh.
67
00:02:54,086 --> 00:02:55,610
the view was of
an animal clinic,
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00:02:55,653 --> 00:02:58,439
a body shop and an online
tuxedo rental place,
69
00:02:58,482 --> 00:03:01,093
so this is amazing.[laughs]
Well, I'm glad you like it,
70
00:03:01,137 --> 00:03:03,008
because we are very happy
to have you here.
71
00:03:03,052 --> 00:03:04,619
I want you to meet the team.
Guys.
72
00:03:04,662 --> 00:03:07,143
So, this is Lisa, Melanie,
Malcolm and Craig.
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00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,014
Oh, hi. Wow.
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00:03:09,058 --> 00:03:11,930
You are all super groomed.
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00:03:11,974 --> 00:03:13,454
[chuckles]Just keeping it tight.
76
00:03:13,497 --> 00:03:15,238
I love it.
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00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:16,761
Not a Tim in the bunch.
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00:03:16,805 --> 00:03:18,633
Oh. Thanks, guys.
I'll see you later.
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00:03:18,676 --> 00:03:21,201
Every single one of them
a superstar.Oh.
80
00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:23,464
Okay, so we have
some documents for you to sign.
81
00:03:23,507 --> 00:03:25,727
Okay.And, uh, once you're
done signing them,
82
00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:27,381
I can, uh, take
you to accounting
83
00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:29,426
and give you your
signing bonus.
84
00:03:29,470 --> 00:03:32,342
Wait. Today?
85
00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:33,909
Yeah.
86
00:03:33,952 --> 00:03:35,563
[laughs]:
Uh...
87
00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:38,566
I'm gonna get a check
for $10,000 today?
88
00:03:38,609 --> 00:03:40,307
Yes.Okay. Well, I just...
89
00:03:40,350 --> 00:03:43,223
I-I thought you would sprinkle
that bonus over a few weeks.
90
00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:44,441
Actually, you know what?
91
00:03:44,485 --> 00:03:45,616
It's such a small amount
that we could even
92
00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:46,791
give it to you in cash.
93
00:03:46,835 --> 00:03:50,360
Sound good?Uh, sure.
94
00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:52,449
I love you. You are beautiful.
95
00:03:52,493 --> 00:03:53,798
Oh.
96
00:03:53,842 --> 00:03:55,409
Almost as beautiful
as your suit.
97
00:03:55,452 --> 00:03:57,062
[laughs]
98
00:03:57,106 --> 00:03:59,804
I love that suit.
Where did you get that?
99
00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:02,154
Oh, this? This is
Fett Regoso Couture.
100
00:04:02,198 --> 00:04:03,286
I love them.
101
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:04,809
I have one for every
day of the week.
102
00:04:04,853 --> 00:04:07,116
It's the unofficial
office uniform.
103
00:04:07,159 --> 00:04:10,162
Uniform. Okay. Cool.
104
00:04:10,206 --> 00:04:11,599
Oh, it makes us
feel like a team.
105
00:04:11,642 --> 00:04:13,165
Like the Yankees
or the Rockettes.
106
00:04:13,209 --> 00:04:14,906
Well, I like both those things.
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00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:16,343
Just a little
something that we do.
108
00:04:16,386 --> 00:04:17,822
We do. Yes. And I am we.
109
00:04:17,866 --> 00:04:19,955
And so all are we together.
110
00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:21,870
And so I will with the suits.
111
00:04:21,913 --> 00:04:23,437
Right?
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00:04:26,396 --> 00:04:29,181
[indistinct crowd chatter]
113
00:04:29,225 --> 00:04:32,010
Hey, most beautiful
wife in the world.
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00:04:32,054 --> 00:04:33,403
Oh, hey.
115
00:04:33,447 --> 00:04:35,927
You're coming to my workplace
with compliments?
116
00:04:35,971 --> 00:04:37,538
Yeah, can I borrow your keys?
117
00:04:37,581 --> 00:04:39,279
Not because I lost mine,
118
00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:40,802
but because I like
the sound they make
119
00:04:40,845 --> 00:04:42,151
when they jangle together.
120
00:04:42,194 --> 00:04:43,805
And I'm looking for
interesting sounds to sample
121
00:04:43,848 --> 00:04:46,329
for those SoundCloud hip-hop
songs I've been making.
122
00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:47,548
You lost your keys again.
123
00:04:47,591 --> 00:04:48,810
Indeed, yes.Yeah.
124
00:04:48,853 --> 00:04:51,726
Uh, here, I made you
an extra set.
125
00:04:51,769 --> 00:04:53,510
I actually made you
four extra sets
126
00:04:53,554 --> 00:04:55,469
because, yeah, for next time.
127
00:04:55,512 --> 00:04:56,818
There won't be a next time.
128
00:04:56,861 --> 00:04:58,385
I'll see you next time.
129
00:04:58,428 --> 00:05:00,735
Hey, sorry.
130
00:05:00,778 --> 00:05:02,258
No, don't worry. I handled it.
131
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,608
I know you're not, like,
trying to stress me out.
132
00:05:04,652 --> 00:05:06,131
Oh, I would never do that.
133
00:05:06,175 --> 00:05:07,611
I know.
134
00:05:07,655 --> 00:05:09,134
Oh!
135
00:05:09,178 --> 00:05:11,267
Oh, man.
136
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,529
Uh-huh.Got your phone wet.
137
00:05:12,573 --> 00:05:14,444
Yep.Sorry.
138
00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:16,577
Also, I needed your
phone to call an Uber.
139
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:19,449
Yeah. That tracks.
140
00:05:19,493 --> 00:05:22,496
I hear you. You want me
to propose. I'm not ready.
141
00:05:22,539 --> 00:05:24,585
How much longer
are we gonna argue about this?Until I have
142
00:05:24,628 --> 00:05:26,195
something oval cut
on my finger.
143
00:05:26,238 --> 00:05:27,457
Oh, my God.Why can't you
144
00:05:27,501 --> 00:05:29,111
just let me have this?
145
00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:31,418
I love you, I want us to
spend our lives together,
146
00:05:31,461 --> 00:05:33,507
and I've always dreamed
about being a bride.
147
00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:35,944
Right. And is this part
of what you always dreamed of?
148
00:05:35,987 --> 00:05:38,294
Bullying the person you love
into proposing?
149
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,644
[laughs]:
Yes. Isn't it magical?
150
00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:42,298
Say it's magical.
151
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:45,040
You're going through a thing
that has nothing to do with me.
152
00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:47,216
And I don't want to fight
about it anymore.
153
00:05:47,259 --> 00:05:49,261
I'm going home
to New York, Valencia.
154
00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:51,176
Are you coming with me?
155
00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:58,706
[sighs]
156
00:05:58,749 --> 00:06:00,621
Fine.
157
00:06:02,623 --> 00:06:03,711
AJ:
Get out.
158
00:06:03,754 --> 00:06:06,714
Josh said what?Yeah. Yeah.
159
00:06:06,757 --> 00:06:08,585
I didn't know what to say.
160
00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:09,934
I mean, a few years ago,
I would have killed
161
00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:11,327
to hear him say that. Literally.
162
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,502
I almost killed someone's cat
because of him.
163
00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:14,461
In fairness, he almost killed me
164
00:06:14,504 --> 00:06:16,201
by letting me fall
into a carnival pit.
165
00:06:16,245 --> 00:06:17,768
Ugh, they have to fill
that carnival pit.
166
00:06:17,812 --> 00:06:19,335
I almost lost a nephew.
167
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,381
Just makes it so hard
to love that carnival.
168
00:06:21,424 --> 00:06:23,252
But I do.
I do love that carnival.
169
00:06:23,295 --> 00:06:25,341
Anyway, how do you feel
about Josh now?
170
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:26,951
Or Greg? Or Nathaniel?
171
00:06:26,995 --> 00:06:28,300
I honestly don't know.
172
00:06:28,344 --> 00:06:30,346
I just can't believe
this is still happening.
173
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:33,218
It's-it's so painful
and exhausting.
174
00:06:33,262 --> 00:06:34,611
Yeah, I get it. It sucks.
175
00:06:34,655 --> 00:06:36,483
You have three gorgeous men
to choose from.
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00:06:36,526 --> 00:06:37,788
All of my matches on Tinder
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00:06:37,832 --> 00:06:39,137
are grifters
from the Czech Republic,
178
00:06:39,181 --> 00:06:41,662
but you're right.
You have a huge problem.
179
00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:43,446
DARRYL:
Problem? What problem? Oh.
180
00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:44,969
I'm sorry.
I've just been standing here
181
00:06:45,013 --> 00:06:46,580
waiting for a cinnamon raisin.
182
00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:49,017
Darryl, have you ever had to
make a really difficult decision
183
00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:50,671
and you didn't know what to do?
184
00:06:50,714 --> 00:06:53,543
Say there are three
equally viable options.Me?
185
00:06:53,587 --> 00:06:56,546
All the time.
I struggle a lot with decisions.
186
00:06:56,590 --> 00:06:57,982
So much so
that I made a study
187
00:06:58,026 --> 00:07:00,115
about how to compare options.
188
00:07:00,158 --> 00:07:02,073
Yeah, I read books,
189
00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:04,815
listened to podcasts
and TED Talks,
190
00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:06,556
and I have developed
191
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:08,732
a very effective
and foolproof system.
192
00:07:08,776 --> 00:07:09,864
It's hard to explain.
193
00:07:09,907 --> 00:07:12,083
It's easier if I show you.
194
00:07:12,127 --> 00:07:14,346
AJ:
This is your system?
195
00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:15,826
This is just columns.
196
00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:18,046
Ooh. Columns.
Ooh, that is good.
197
00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:19,874
I've been trying
to come up with a name.
198
00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:21,223
Okay, let's look
199
00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:22,746
at the Nathaniel column first.
All right.
200
00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:24,226
We have "charming,
201
00:07:24,269 --> 00:07:26,794
"handsome, smart,
202
00:07:26,837 --> 00:07:29,666
chemistry
off the charts." Yeah.
203
00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:32,800
"Amazing in the sack."
And now "evolved."
204
00:07:32,843 --> 00:07:34,236
I mean, really,
he has the approval
205
00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:36,673
of the women in the county jail.
206
00:07:36,717 --> 00:07:39,241
That's impossible.
They're only so-so on Beyoncé.
207
00:07:39,284 --> 00:07:41,243
[sighs] Okay.
208
00:07:41,286 --> 00:07:43,550
Maybe it is Nathaniel, right?
209
00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:45,247
Yeah, but look
at the Josh column.
210
00:07:45,290 --> 00:07:46,553
"Affectionate,
emotionally available,
211
00:07:46,596 --> 00:07:49,120
incredible bod,
understands my inner child."
212
00:07:49,164 --> 00:07:51,688
And now "evolved."
213
00:07:51,732 --> 00:07:53,473
And, of course,
"amazing in the sack."
214
00:07:53,516 --> 00:07:56,780
Yeah. And, God, I mean,
if I ended up with Josh,
215
00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:59,653
that would make a certain sense.
I did move here for him.
216
00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:02,786
[sighs] Maybe it is Josh.
217
00:08:02,830 --> 00:08:06,355
Maybe, but now let's mosey
our eyes over to the Greg list.
218
00:08:06,398 --> 00:08:08,357
Mm.And we've got "forgiveness."
219
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,880
Of course, since, Jesus-like,
220
00:08:09,924 --> 00:08:12,535
he forgave you
for bopping his pop.
221
00:08:12,579 --> 00:08:13,797
Oh, gross.You did it.
222
00:08:13,841 --> 00:08:15,407
He just said it.Mm-hmm.
223
00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:17,801
And then you wrote
"smart, compassionate, funny,
224
00:08:17,845 --> 00:08:19,324
"foxy A.H., surprising
225
00:08:19,368 --> 00:08:21,544
and seems to understand me
in some profound way."
226
00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:23,372
Also, "amazing in the sack."
227
00:08:23,415 --> 00:08:25,679
That seems to be a constant.DARRYL:
Mm-hmm.
228
00:08:25,722 --> 00:08:27,681
Yes, I've been blessed
with gifted lovers.
229
00:08:27,724 --> 00:08:29,596
Well, to be fair,
I've taught them well.
230
00:08:29,639 --> 00:08:33,382
[sighs] Guys,
maybe it is Greg.
231
00:08:34,688 --> 00:08:37,560
Maybe it is Nathaniel.
232
00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:38,779
Maybe it is Josh.
233
00:08:38,822 --> 00:08:42,130
Oh, my God. This is just...
This is terrible.
234
00:08:42,173 --> 00:08:44,611
I can't believe
this is happening again
235
00:08:44,654 --> 00:08:47,222
and that I'm back in a....
236
00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:49,267
Oh, God.
237
00:08:50,704 --> 00:08:53,968
I'm coming, I'm coming.
I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready.
238
00:08:54,011 --> 00:08:57,928
♪ What's a girl to do
when she's back here again? ♪
239
00:08:57,972 --> 00:09:02,411
♪ After so much growth,
she's still stuck between men ♪
240
00:09:02,454 --> 00:09:04,413
♪ So sweep off the sets
241
00:09:04,456 --> 00:09:06,284
♪ Good,
you found the old swing... ♪
242
00:09:06,328 --> 00:09:07,242
Just put it anywhere.
That's cool.
243
00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:09,810
♪ Let's see if I remember
244
00:09:09,853 --> 00:09:11,899
♪ The words to sing
245
00:09:11,942 --> 00:09:13,727
♪ I'm back here again
246
00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:15,511
♪ Oh, boy, what fun
247
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,774
♪ Guess it's time to make up
248
00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:22,562
♪ More geometry puns
249
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,916
♪ The math of love quadrangles
250
00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:31,440
♪ Is way more fun than trig
251
00:09:31,483 --> 00:09:33,703
♪ But what about
your feelings? ♪
252
00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:36,837
♪ Hmm, we don't see those
on a fig ♪
253
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,882
♪ The math of love quadrangles
254
00:09:38,926 --> 00:09:40,797
♪ Is so juicy while it lasts
255
00:09:40,841 --> 00:09:42,799
♪ I can't ask you to share
256
00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:44,714
♪ Come on, don't be a square
257
00:09:44,758 --> 00:09:46,977
♪ I thought all this drama
was back in my past ♪
258
00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:48,631
♪ Joke's on you, bitch
259
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:49,937
♪ You'll never be free.
260
00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:51,591
No!
261
00:09:52,896 --> 00:09:54,158
Sorry.
262
00:09:54,202 --> 00:09:56,857
I-I was figuring something out
in my head.
263
00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:58,859
Guys, my life
is a disaster.
264
00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:01,122
And not just my love life.
It feels like everything.
265
00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:03,472
I-I can't go on like this.
What do I do?
266
00:10:03,515 --> 00:10:06,083
[FaceTime ringing]
267
00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:07,650
Huh, a FaceTime from David.
268
00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:08,999
That's Audra Levine's husband.
269
00:10:09,043 --> 00:10:10,218
Hmm.
270
00:10:10,261 --> 00:10:11,741
Yeah, hi, David.
271
00:10:11,785 --> 00:10:13,351
Rebecca, Audra needs your help.[babies crying]
272
00:10:13,395 --> 00:10:15,223
Audra Levine needs my help? Why?
273
00:10:15,266 --> 00:10:16,746
She abandoned me
and the triplets.
274
00:10:16,790 --> 00:10:17,834
She went to Las Vegas
275
00:10:17,878 --> 00:10:19,096
last week
for a bachelorette trip,
276
00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:20,228
and she hasn't come back.
277
00:10:20,271 --> 00:10:22,665
I need someone
to bring her back,
278
00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:24,798
and I can't ask someone who's
actually a part of our lives
279
00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:25,886
or whose opinion matters at all.
280
00:10:25,929 --> 00:10:28,453
So will you help me?
281
00:10:28,497 --> 00:10:29,846
According to
the credit card bill,
282
00:10:29,890 --> 00:10:31,543
she's still
at the Casa Majestic Casino.
283
00:10:31,587 --> 00:10:33,850
Wow, this is terrible news.
284
00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:35,243
I mean,
285
00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:36,853
Audra Levine has abandoned
286
00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:39,769
her mature, adult life
and holed up
287
00:10:39,813 --> 00:10:41,249
in an off-brand Vegas casino?
288
00:10:41,292 --> 00:10:42,946
Well, this is sad.
289
00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:44,905
This is so sad.DAVID:
Rebecca, I...
290
00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:46,254
I can see you smiling.
291
00:10:46,297 --> 00:10:48,952
This is FaceTime.
We're on FaceTime.Sorry.
292
00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:51,128
Is there any chance
that-that you would go to Vegas
293
00:10:51,172 --> 00:10:52,869
a-and bring her back home?
294
00:10:52,913 --> 00:10:55,611
[scoffs]DAVID: I know that
you're probably really busy
295
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:56,917
and have
way more important things
296
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,222
that you could be doing...Yeah.
297
00:10:58,266 --> 00:11:00,137
Yeah, I do have
way better things to be doing.
298
00:11:00,181 --> 00:11:02,313
I'm actually making
a very big decision now
299
00:11:02,357 --> 00:11:03,706
in my amazing life.
300
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:04,968
Uh...
301
00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:06,753
But you know what?
302
00:11:06,796 --> 00:11:08,276
This is more important.
303
00:11:08,319 --> 00:11:09,799
So yes, David.
304
00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:12,497
I will go.
You can count on me, as always.
305
00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:14,369
Oh, good. Oh, thank you so much.
306
00:11:14,412 --> 00:11:15,805
Oh, boy.
307
00:11:15,849 --> 00:11:18,808
Well, I guess the columns
have to wait.What?
308
00:11:18,852 --> 00:11:20,505
No, the columns wait for no one.
309
00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:22,812
Ooh, that is a good slogan.
310
00:11:22,856 --> 00:11:25,510
Guys, you heard David.
Audra needs me.
311
00:11:25,554 --> 00:11:27,512
Or you want to procrastinate
on your decision
312
00:11:27,556 --> 00:11:28,862
and see your frenemy
at her lowest
313
00:11:28,905 --> 00:11:30,994
so you can feel superior
and rub it in a little.
314
00:11:31,038 --> 00:11:33,301
AJ, you're a damn bitch.
315
00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:35,999
Thank you.
316
00:11:36,043 --> 00:11:37,392
This counts as overtime.
317
00:11:37,435 --> 00:11:39,002
Does it?Mm-hmm.
318
00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:44,399
Hector is like
having a kid sometimes.
319
00:11:44,442 --> 00:11:46,923
It's like having a kid
before I have a kid.
320
00:11:46,967 --> 00:11:49,796
Other than the kid I gave
birth to, which doesn't count.
321
00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:51,232
At least you're married.
322
00:11:51,275 --> 00:11:53,669
Beth left town and didn't even
answer my ultimatum.
323
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,192
I thought the whole point
of an ultimatum
324
00:11:55,236 --> 00:11:57,325
was trapping someone
into giving you an answer.
325
00:11:57,368 --> 00:11:58,500
Mm...
326
00:11:58,543 --> 00:11:59,936
Good thing Paula's happy.
327
00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:01,372
I really am.
328
00:12:01,416 --> 00:12:02,852
Oh.I'm sorry.
329
00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:05,725
Mmm.But the people at
my firm are so nice.
330
00:12:05,768 --> 00:12:07,944
I mean, I thought they
were gonna be snooty
331
00:12:07,988 --> 00:12:09,467
and that I wouldn't fit in,
332
00:12:09,511 --> 00:12:11,948
but, you know,
now that I've been there...
333
00:12:11,992 --> 00:12:13,950
It's basically perfect. [laughs]
334
00:12:13,994 --> 00:12:15,517
All I have to do is get me
335
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:18,433
one of them suits,
and then I will be one of them.
336
00:12:18,476 --> 00:12:19,608
Mmm.I'm gonna see
337
00:12:19,651 --> 00:12:20,914
how much they cost.
338
00:12:20,957 --> 00:12:23,394
You know, they're probably
pretty expensive.
339
00:12:23,438 --> 00:12:24,787
Yeah.At least, like,
340
00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:26,180
three or four hundred...
341
00:12:26,223 --> 00:12:27,790
Oh, my God!
342
00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:31,838
The jacket alone
is $8,000!
343
00:12:31,881 --> 00:12:33,056
Oh.Um...
344
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,666
That's almost
my whole bonus.
345
00:12:34,710 --> 00:12:36,799
And that money was supposed to
pay off our credit cards.
346
00:12:36,843 --> 00:12:38,975
And we need a new roof
on the house.
347
00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:40,150
HEATHER:
Oh, cool.
348
00:12:40,194 --> 00:12:41,717
So we're all
kind of miserable.
349
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,197
This will be a cool lunch.
350
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:44,851
REBECCA:
Hey, ladies. I'm sorry.
351
00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:46,069
I can't make lunch.
There's an emergency.
352
00:12:46,113 --> 00:12:47,592
I have to go save a life.
353
00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:49,203
Anyway, I just came here
to tell you that.
354
00:12:49,246 --> 00:12:50,508
Seems like a text.
355
00:12:50,552 --> 00:12:52,032
Also, sometimes
you just don't show up at all,
356
00:12:52,075 --> 00:12:53,555
which also would have been fine.
357
00:12:53,598 --> 00:12:55,078
Look, to be honest,
I have to go to Vegas,
358
00:12:55,122 --> 00:12:56,036
and I really don't want
to go alone.
359
00:12:56,079 --> 00:12:57,167
Does anyone want
to come with me?
360
00:12:59,996 --> 00:13:03,086
Let's see, babysit my husband
or go to Vegas?
361
00:13:03,130 --> 00:13:06,786
Let's see, get rejected again
or go to Vegas?
362
00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:08,091
Vegas? I can turn that ten grand
363
00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:10,746
into 50 Fett Regoso suits
and a new roof.
364
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:11,660
What?Nothing.
365
00:13:11,703 --> 00:13:13,314
Just being supportive. Let's go!
366
00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:15,403
Yeah. Oh, my God. I'm so in.Oh, awesome. Okay.
367
00:13:15,446 --> 00:13:17,884
Oh, um, we just can't go to
the Bellagio or the MGM.
368
00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:19,799
It's a...
You know, it's a long story.
369
00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:30,853
Ah.
370
00:13:32,202 --> 00:13:34,161
[inhales] Sir.
371
00:13:34,204 --> 00:13:37,077
Hey, buddy.I need you to stand down.
372
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,427
Literally what do you mean?You heard me.
373
00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:40,950
Stand down.
374
00:13:40,994 --> 00:13:44,040
This morning, I declared to
Rebecca that I care about her.
375
00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:45,520
I cared about her
before you did.
376
00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:47,609
You cared about her
at the theater the other day,
377
00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:49,306
but before that,
I cared about her,
378
00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:51,265
like when we moved in together.
379
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:53,223
But before that,
yes, it was you.
380
00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:54,703
But before that,
we almost got married.
381
00:13:54,746 --> 00:13:57,575
And, yes, before that,
you guys kissed in the elevator,
382
00:13:57,619 --> 00:13:59,186
but before that,
at summer camp, it was me.
383
00:13:59,229 --> 00:14:02,798
So I say to you, sir...
stand down.
384
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,626
Oh. Huh.
385
00:14:04,669 --> 00:14:06,106
I'm not gonna do that.
386
00:14:06,149 --> 00:14:07,455
That's not something people do.
387
00:14:07,498 --> 00:14:08,935
You made
388
00:14:08,978 --> 00:14:11,241
a declaration to Rebecca.
I get it.
389
00:14:11,285 --> 00:14:12,939
You're talking
to the king of declarations.
390
00:14:12,982 --> 00:14:15,289
Look, if someone made a
supercut of all the times
391
00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:19,902
I declared my love to Rebecca,
it would be... long.
392
00:14:19,946 --> 00:14:21,556
Regardless,
I can't--
393
00:14:21,599 --> 00:14:23,601
to use your parlance--
stand down,
394
00:14:23,645 --> 00:14:25,952
because honestly,
I think Rebecca and I,
395
00:14:25,995 --> 00:14:29,346
some way, somehow, have
a chance to be together.
396
00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:32,306
Well, then, we have a problem,
because we clearly both believe
397
00:14:32,349 --> 00:14:34,090
that we're who
she's meant to be with.
398
00:14:34,134 --> 00:14:37,746
One of has to be wrong.
One of us has to be...
399
00:14:37,789 --> 00:14:39,791
Josh?
400
00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:42,794
Did you just forget
your name, buddy?
401
00:14:42,838 --> 00:14:44,796
What? Oh.
402
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,364
My name's on that whiteboard.
403
00:14:47,408 --> 00:14:48,583
AJ?
404
00:14:48,626 --> 00:14:50,933
AJ, why is my name
on that whiteboard?
405
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:52,935
Uh...
406
00:14:54,023 --> 00:14:56,460
You have... detention.
407
00:14:56,504 --> 00:14:57,505
JOSH:
Nathaniel,
408
00:14:57,548 --> 00:15:00,029
your name's up there, too.
409
00:15:00,073 --> 00:15:02,336
Yeah, uh... No, I... Oh.
410
00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:04,686
Uh...AJ?
411
00:15:04,729 --> 00:15:06,862
[sighs]
412
00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:12,128
Greg?
413
00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:13,695
It's me, you and Greg?
414
00:15:13,738 --> 00:15:15,610
And it looks like
she's really torn,
415
00:15:15,653 --> 00:15:18,265
like she doesn't even know
who she wants to be with.
416
00:15:18,308 --> 00:15:21,311
Oh. Huh.
417
00:15:21,355 --> 00:15:23,009
I don't like this.
418
00:15:23,052 --> 00:15:26,012
I'm asking you nicely
to get out of my kitchen.
419
00:15:26,055 --> 00:15:28,057
This is how customers
get meningitis.
420
00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:29,929
Wow. I got a lot
to think about.
421
00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:33,019
I thought it was just you,
which was bad enough.
422
00:15:33,062 --> 00:15:34,498
Yeah, you know what?
423
00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:37,632
I don't want to be a part
of a weird horse race, okay?
424
00:15:37,675 --> 00:15:40,113
You know what?
I'm standing down.
425
00:15:40,156 --> 00:15:42,245
And I...
426
00:15:42,289 --> 00:15:44,639
I shall do samesies.
427
00:15:48,512 --> 00:15:51,037
♪
428
00:15:54,736 --> 00:15:57,391
Ah. Okay, we're here.
429
00:15:57,434 --> 00:16:01,830
And can I just say
I feel like a badass right now?
430
00:16:01,873 --> 00:16:03,614
Yeah, totally. Me, too.
431
00:16:03,658 --> 00:16:05,660
Yeah.Okay.
432
00:16:05,703 --> 00:16:09,577
We're four badass chicks
walking into a casino.
433
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:12,710
I think we know
what needs to happen now.
434
00:16:12,754 --> 00:16:14,756
♪
435
00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:19,587
♪ Slow motion, slow motion
436
00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:22,285
♪ We walkin' in the room
in slow motion ♪
437
00:16:22,329 --> 00:16:24,635
♪ Slow motion, slow motion
438
00:16:24,679 --> 00:16:26,855
♪ That's how cool we feel
439
00:16:26,898 --> 00:16:29,901
PAULA:
♪ Looking this good should be a crime ♪
440
00:16:29,945 --> 00:16:32,643
HEATHER:
♪ 'Cause my girls and I be stoppin' time ♪
441
00:16:32,687 --> 00:16:34,863
REBECCA:
♪ Oh, my God, we're so hot
442
00:16:34,906 --> 00:16:36,778
ALL:
♪ Even blinking looks amazing
443
00:16:36,821 --> 00:16:38,606
VALENCIA: Slay! ALL: ♪ If only life
444
00:16:38,649 --> 00:16:40,173
♪ Were as good as this feels
445
00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:42,871
♪ Let's make
the slow motion real ♪
446
00:16:46,744 --> 00:16:48,007
This is much harder
than I thought.
447
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:49,834
This is not...
it's not working, right?
448
00:16:49,878 --> 00:16:51,401
Yeah.
Feels like I'm doing some weird...
449
00:16:51,445 --> 00:16:53,186
Okay, let's just go... Yeah.Okay.
Yeah.
450
00:16:53,229 --> 00:16:55,057
ALL:
♪ Back to fantasy slow motion
451
00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:56,711
♪ Slow motion
452
00:16:56,754 --> 00:16:58,756
♪ Don't talk to us,
we're in slow motion ♪
453
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:01,281
♪ Slow motion, slow motion
454
00:17:01,324 --> 00:17:04,197
♪ Fine, the MGM's
across the street ♪
455
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,676
HEATHER:
♪ Don't have bills to pay
456
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:06,982
ALL:
♪ In slow motion
457
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,114
VALENCIA:
♪ Problems go away
458
00:17:08,157 --> 00:17:09,767
ALL:
♪ In slow motion
459
00:17:09,811 --> 00:17:11,378
PAULA:
♪ If you're stressed, why not take a trip ♪
460
00:17:11,421 --> 00:17:13,771
♪ To 48 frames per second?
461
00:17:13,815 --> 00:17:14,903
VALENCIA: Yaas! REBECCA: ♪ Oh, no
462
00:17:14,946 --> 00:17:16,905
♪ Our entrance is almost over
463
00:17:16,948 --> 00:17:19,386
ALL:
♪ Let's go even slower
464
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:29,222
REBECCA [in slow motion]:
Not sure this works.
465
00:17:29,265 --> 00:17:32,921
HEATHER [in slow motion]:
Agreed.
466
00:17:34,618 --> 00:17:37,752
ALL:
♪ Back to normal fantasy slow motion, slow motion ♪
467
00:17:37,795 --> 00:17:39,841
♪ It went from sexy
to boring slow motion ♪
468
00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:42,844
♪ Slow motion, slow motion
469
00:17:42,887 --> 00:17:44,715
♪ Whatever you do,
don't sneeze ♪
470
00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:47,022
♪ But definitely
look to the side ♪
471
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,633
♪ Flip your hair,
put on sunglasses ♪
472
00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:54,769
♪ Take off the sunglasses
and just hold them, I guess ♪
473
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:03,038
♪ Slow motion, slow motion
474
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,127
♪ Damn, we're out of room.
475
00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:06,346
[sneezes]
Oh.
476
00:18:06,389 --> 00:18:07,825
Bless you.Oh, thank you.
477
00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:09,740
Oh, that was actually
a relatively short walk
478
00:18:09,784 --> 00:18:12,091
to the reception desk.
It felt a lot longer.Yeah.
479
00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:14,223
Hi.
Hi.
480
00:18:14,267 --> 00:18:15,790
I was wondering
if you could tell me, uh,
481
00:18:15,833 --> 00:18:17,139
what room is Audra Levine in?
482
00:18:17,183 --> 00:18:18,488
We don't give out room numbers
483
00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:20,055
to protect the privacy
of our guests.
484
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,666
I thought you'd say that, but
listen, this is an emergency.
485
00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:23,928
Hey.
Mm. Mm-hmm?
486
00:18:23,972 --> 00:18:25,843
Did I see pai gow
on the floor? Mm-hmm.
487
00:18:25,887 --> 00:18:27,802
Because I'm actually
here to see...
488
00:18:27,845 --> 00:18:29,151
Hi. We're with
489
00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:30,805
the Martinez bachelorette.
Is there any way
490
00:18:30,848 --> 00:18:31,762
we can change rooms?
491
00:18:31,806 --> 00:18:33,851
We came here
to have a good time.
492
00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:35,244
We brought Molly.
493
00:18:35,288 --> 00:18:37,333
Yeah, Molly's our friend,
and she brought drugs.
494
00:18:37,377 --> 00:18:40,249
But the woman next door to us
is really harshing our vibe.
495
00:18:40,293 --> 00:18:43,818
Yeah, she keeps yelling,
"Sheket bevakasha,"at us
496
00:18:43,861 --> 00:18:45,907
and referring to herself
as an alpha bitch.
497
00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:48,344
That's our girl. Hey, what
room's the bitch in again?
498
00:18:48,388 --> 00:18:50,564
ALL:
428.Room 428. Come on, let's go.
499
00:18:50,607 --> 00:18:53,306
Hey, it looks like
they have Caribbean stud.
500
00:18:53,349 --> 00:18:55,177
Interesting.
501
00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:57,223
[knocking]
502
00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:02,315
Ugh. Rebecca Bunch.
503
00:19:02,358 --> 00:19:04,360
What are you doing here?
504
00:19:04,404 --> 00:19:05,753
David called me.
505
00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:07,842
Uh, what?[mutters] Mm-hmm.
506
00:19:07,885 --> 00:19:09,278
Oh. Hello.
507
00:19:09,322 --> 00:19:10,627
Okay, everyone.
508
00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:11,933
Oh.Someone's living large.
509
00:19:11,976 --> 00:19:13,456
Hey, living your best
life. It's very nice.
510
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,371
Nice.
Yeah.
511
00:19:15,415 --> 00:19:17,808
David called you?
512
00:19:17,852 --> 00:19:18,766
Wow.
513
00:19:18,809 --> 00:19:20,246
He must really be desperate.
514
00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:21,899
You know what?
He's concerned,
515
00:19:21,943 --> 00:19:23,205
because he needs you
to come home,
516
00:19:23,249 --> 00:19:24,772
and your three children
need you to come home.
517
00:19:24,815 --> 00:19:26,817
What do you care?
518
00:19:26,861 --> 00:19:29,255
I mean, we've known each other
our whole lives.
519
00:19:29,298 --> 00:19:31,735
And I care about you
in my own way.
520
00:19:31,779 --> 00:19:33,737
You're like an annoying
family member.
521
00:19:33,781 --> 00:19:35,696
And then I told my friends
about your situation,
522
00:19:35,739 --> 00:19:37,437
and they selflessly agreed
to come help.
523
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:38,873
HEATHER:
Exactly.
524
00:19:38,916 --> 00:19:39,917
Females helping females.
525
00:19:39,961 --> 00:19:41,267
And that's called sisterhood.
526
00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:44,879
Okay, fine.
527
00:19:44,922 --> 00:19:46,924
You win.
528
00:19:49,057 --> 00:19:51,059
I mean, there's nothing
keeping me in Las Vegas anyway.
529
00:19:51,102 --> 00:19:53,279
I just needed
a little break.
530
00:19:53,322 --> 00:19:55,585
You've all done your
good deed for the day.
531
00:19:55,629 --> 00:19:57,631
I'm gonna
go pack.
532
00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:01,983
Wow. That... worked.
533
00:20:02,026 --> 00:20:03,637
Yeah, it did.
534
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:07,249
And now we can go home,
back to our lives.
535
00:20:07,293 --> 00:20:11,079
And the, uh... the choices
that come with those lives.
536
00:20:11,122 --> 00:20:13,603
Yeah, and it's-it's not like we
want to stay for a little bit
537
00:20:13,647 --> 00:20:15,866
and sit in on a few blackjack
hands or anything, right?
538
00:20:15,910 --> 00:20:16,867
[loud thud]
[gasps]
539
00:20:16,911 --> 00:20:19,653
ALL:
What?
540
00:20:19,696 --> 00:20:20,915
She's gone.
541
00:20:20,958 --> 00:20:21,916
We got a runner.
542
00:20:21,959 --> 00:20:23,134
Oh, no.So sad.
543
00:20:23,178 --> 00:20:24,919
We can't leave yet.
544
00:20:29,532 --> 00:20:31,230
[crowd chatter]
545
00:20:36,844 --> 00:20:38,541
Oh, see?
Look at that.
546
00:20:38,585 --> 00:20:39,760
Those two people
are in love.
547
00:20:39,803 --> 00:20:41,457
I bet they don't have
any issues with...
548
00:20:41,501 --> 00:20:42,719
commitment.
549
00:20:42,763 --> 00:20:43,981
Audra?!
550
00:20:44,025 --> 00:20:46,593
Oh, my God, stop
following me.
551
00:20:46,636 --> 00:20:48,812
MAN:
Oh, babe, who are these chicks?
552
00:20:48,856 --> 00:20:50,814
I'm not usually up
for three-ways.
553
00:20:50,858 --> 00:20:52,076
[laughs]
554
00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:53,861
But the redhead can stay.
555
00:20:54,905 --> 00:20:56,733
Audra, who is this guy?
556
00:20:56,777 --> 00:20:59,170
This is...
557
00:20:59,214 --> 00:21:01,216
Jesse. [laughs]
558
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:03,653
Can't spell "Jesus"
without "Jesse."
559
00:21:03,697 --> 00:21:05,481
Yes, you... you can.
560
00:21:05,525 --> 00:21:07,570
He bought me a drink at
the bachelorette party,
561
00:21:07,614 --> 00:21:09,964
and now I'm moving to
Las Vegas to be with him.
562
00:21:10,007 --> 00:21:11,444
[both laughing]
563
00:21:11,487 --> 00:21:13,315
I mean, you get it.
You did the same thing.
564
00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:14,708
Pulling a Rebecca Bunch.
565
00:21:19,234 --> 00:21:20,540
How great is that pizza bianco?
566
00:21:20,583 --> 00:21:21,976
It was delicious.
567
00:21:22,019 --> 00:21:24,326
In fact, I would like
for you to refer to me
568
00:21:24,370 --> 00:21:25,936
as "Josh Bianco" from now on.
Thank you.
569
00:21:25,980 --> 00:21:27,808
You took off all the cheese
and soaked up the oil
570
00:21:27,851 --> 00:21:29,200
with a paper towel and ate that.
571
00:21:29,244 --> 00:21:30,332
It was a cheat day.Okay.
572
00:21:30,376 --> 00:21:32,769
Oh. This is concerning.
573
00:21:34,510 --> 00:21:37,339
Sir, I would like you
to stand down.
574
00:21:37,383 --> 00:21:38,688
Hey, Josh. Uh, what?
575
00:21:38,732 --> 00:21:40,429
It has been brought
to my attention
576
00:21:40,473 --> 00:21:42,736
that Rebecca is torn
between me, you and Nathaniel.
577
00:21:42,779 --> 00:21:44,303
He has agreed to stand down,
578
00:21:44,346 --> 00:21:46,392
and, sir,
that is what I ask of you.
579
00:21:46,435 --> 00:21:47,654
Oh, this is tremendous.
580
00:21:47,697 --> 00:21:48,872
What are you talking about?
581
00:21:48,916 --> 00:21:52,441
Shall you
or shan't you stand down?
582
00:21:52,485 --> 00:21:54,530
Serrano!
583
00:21:54,574 --> 00:21:57,446
Gonna need you to
stand down, buddy.
584
00:21:57,490 --> 00:21:59,709
Oh, Josh is here.
585
00:21:59,753 --> 00:22:02,364
You know, I let my cable
and my Netflix lapse.
586
00:22:02,408 --> 00:22:03,887
Turns out I didn't need it.
587
00:22:03,931 --> 00:22:05,802
[quietly]:
Don't enjoy it. I mean, it is enjoyable.
588
00:22:05,846 --> 00:22:08,196
JOSH:
Dude, what are you doing here?
589
00:22:08,239 --> 00:22:09,632
You said
you were standing down.
590
00:22:09,676 --> 00:22:11,373
Well, so did you. You said
you were standing down.
591
00:22:11,417 --> 00:22:13,201
Well, I realized
I couldn't live without Rebecca.
592
00:22:13,244 --> 00:22:14,507
I realized that, too,
593
00:22:14,550 --> 00:22:16,596
and then I realized that
he needed to stand down.
594
00:22:16,639 --> 00:22:17,945
Wait, wait, wait.
Someone say "Stand down" again.
595
00:22:17,988 --> 00:22:19,250
Stand down!No!
596
00:22:19,294 --> 00:22:20,861
Guys, I don't know
what you're talking about.
597
00:22:20,904 --> 00:22:22,428
Rebecca and I are over.
598
00:22:22,471 --> 00:22:24,081
She has no interest in me.
599
00:22:24,125 --> 00:22:25,518
[sighs]
600
00:22:25,561 --> 00:22:27,389
He doesn't know
about the whiteboard.
601
00:22:27,433 --> 00:22:29,478
Oh, we got to show him
the whiteboard.
602
00:22:29,522 --> 00:22:30,610
Please show us the whiteboard.
603
00:22:30,653 --> 00:22:31,698
Does anyone know
where the whiteboard is?
604
00:22:34,701 --> 00:22:36,485
Follow me.
605
00:22:36,529 --> 00:22:39,314
[grunts]
606
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:43,405
Whoa. This is nuts.
607
00:22:43,449 --> 00:22:44,754
This is awful.
608
00:22:44,798 --> 00:22:46,190
She's making lists?
609
00:22:46,234 --> 00:22:47,496
They're columns,
610
00:22:47,540 --> 00:22:48,715
and I'm gonna
trademark columns.
611
00:22:48,758 --> 00:22:50,543
You're gonna trademark
the word "columns"
612
00:22:50,586 --> 00:22:52,501
or just the concept
of columns?
613
00:22:52,545 --> 00:22:54,068
Oh. I don't know.
I'm not sure.
614
00:22:54,111 --> 00:22:55,330
Okay.
615
00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:56,418
Well, you can erase my column.
616
00:22:56,462 --> 00:22:58,072
This is dumb. I'm out.
617
00:23:00,466 --> 00:23:02,468
He's standing
down, then?
618
00:23:05,775 --> 00:23:07,037
Hey, Audra.
619
00:23:07,081 --> 00:23:08,604
You're pulling a
Rebecca Bunch. Wow.
620
00:23:08,648 --> 00:23:10,998
May I talk to you
for just a moment?
621
00:23:11,041 --> 00:23:12,391
Can you wait just
a minute, Daddy?
622
00:23:12,434 --> 00:23:13,566
PAULA:
Daddy?
623
00:23:13,609 --> 00:23:16,699
Don't be late,
or you'll get a spankin'.
624
00:23:16,743 --> 00:23:18,266
O... kay.
625
00:23:18,309 --> 00:23:19,485
Okay. Thank you.
626
00:23:19,528 --> 00:23:20,703
[roars]
627
00:23:20,747 --> 00:23:23,140
Don't leave without me.Hey. Hi.
628
00:23:23,184 --> 00:23:24,838
You're using me
as justification
629
00:23:24,881 --> 00:23:28,363
for abandoning your three
very, very tiny children?
630
00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:30,452
I'm just doing
exactly what you did.
631
00:23:30,496 --> 00:23:31,671
What?Yes. You know what?
632
00:23:31,714 --> 00:23:33,281
I've actually
secretly admired you
633
00:23:33,324 --> 00:23:34,587
for it for
a long time.
634
00:23:34,630 --> 00:23:36,589
You escaped our
restrictive upbringing
635
00:23:36,632 --> 00:23:39,461
and started a cute business,
you have great friends,
636
00:23:39,505 --> 00:23:44,031
and have dated 9.6's despite
being solidly in the fives.
637
00:23:44,074 --> 00:23:46,642
And you're happy with
your choices, right?
638
00:23:46,686 --> 00:23:48,688
Uh...
639
00:23:50,690 --> 00:23:52,648
Yes?
640
00:23:52,692 --> 00:23:56,391
Well, then, thank you and
your friends or whatever,
641
00:23:56,435 --> 00:23:59,046
but I'm fine, and I
actually have to go.
642
00:23:59,089 --> 00:24:01,004
Jesse's playing in
a secret, backroom,
643
00:24:01,048 --> 00:24:02,484
high-stakes poker game.
644
00:24:02,528 --> 00:24:04,399
It's in something called
the Diamond Suite.
645
00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:08,055
And I have to be there with him
because I'm his good luck charm.
646
00:24:08,098 --> 00:24:10,405
He says he's gonna
buy me a tiger.
647
00:24:10,449 --> 00:24:12,407
Okay, Audra. Audra![growls]
648
00:24:12,451 --> 00:24:13,974
Audra, this is crazy.
649
00:24:14,017 --> 00:24:17,499
You can't call me crazy,
'cause when you call me crazy,
650
00:24:17,543 --> 00:24:20,328
you're just calling
me in love. Blam!
651
00:24:22,243 --> 00:24:23,940
Ah...Don't-don't touch her.
652
00:24:23,984 --> 00:24:26,595
[phone buzzes]
653
00:24:26,639 --> 00:24:28,684
God, I just want
to get in there.
654
00:24:28,728 --> 00:24:30,686
Mama needs some fancy suits.
655
00:24:30,730 --> 00:24:32,688
Oh, hey, cool text
from Hector.
656
00:24:32,732 --> 00:24:34,037
"Which one is
the smoke detector,
657
00:24:34,081 --> 00:24:35,909
"and which one is
the carbon monoxide detector?
658
00:24:35,952 --> 00:24:37,432
"Guess it doesn't matter.
659
00:24:37,476 --> 00:24:39,565
I set off both."
660
00:24:41,741 --> 00:24:43,786
VALENCIA: Wait.
I went to high school
661
00:24:43,830 --> 00:24:45,527
with that girl.
662
00:24:45,571 --> 00:24:47,790
Is that Denise Martinez?
663
00:24:47,834 --> 00:24:49,531
That bitch
I cannot stand.
664
00:24:49,575 --> 00:24:51,185
Hey!
665
00:24:51,228 --> 00:24:53,448
Hey!Hey... girl!
666
00:24:53,492 --> 00:24:55,015
Hey!
Hey!
667
00:24:55,058 --> 00:24:56,669
[both laughing]
668
00:24:56,712 --> 00:24:57,974
Hey!
Hey!
669
00:24:58,018 --> 00:24:59,715
Having yourself
a little Vegas vaycay?
670
00:24:59,759 --> 00:25:00,890
Yeah. Kind of.
671
00:25:00,934 --> 00:25:02,239
Um, it's my bachelorette party.
672
00:25:02,283 --> 00:25:03,545
I'm getting married.
673
00:25:03,589 --> 00:25:04,677
Ah! Can you believe it?
674
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:06,243
[screams, laughs]
675
00:25:06,287 --> 00:25:07,506
I can't.
676
00:25:07,549 --> 00:25:09,072
Yeah, he was really
dragging his heels,
677
00:25:09,116 --> 00:25:11,858
so I gave him a deadline, and
he was afraid of losing me,
678
00:25:11,901 --> 00:25:14,643
so he forked over
the diamond. Yay!
679
00:25:14,687 --> 00:25:15,644
[giggles]
680
00:25:15,688 --> 00:25:17,603
Mm.
681
00:25:17,646 --> 00:25:19,866
Okay. Got to go. Bye.
682
00:25:21,737 --> 00:25:22,825
REBECCA:
Hey, guys.
683
00:25:22,869 --> 00:25:24,740
We got to help Audra.
She's in trouble,
684
00:25:24,784 --> 00:25:26,699
and it's kind of
because of me, so, uh,
685
00:25:26,742 --> 00:25:29,223
just let's go.
Come on.
686
00:25:29,266 --> 00:25:31,747
She said it's some kind
of backroom poker game.
687
00:25:31,791 --> 00:25:34,184
Should we wait outside,
or should we knock?
688
00:25:34,228 --> 00:25:36,578
Oh. Oh, guys,
guys, guys, guys,
689
00:25:36,622 --> 00:25:38,928
"backroom" is code
for illegal.
690
00:25:38,972 --> 00:25:41,278
The stakes in these games
are massive.
691
00:25:41,322 --> 00:25:43,672
I know this because
I-I saw a movie once.
692
00:25:43,716 --> 00:25:46,109
Listen, we got to get in there,
we got to double down on-on...
693
00:25:46,153 --> 00:25:47,676
on saving Audrey.
694
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:49,112
Audra.
Yep. Her.
695
00:25:49,156 --> 00:25:51,332
Just... You know what?
Just point her out
696
00:25:51,375 --> 00:25:52,855
when we get in there.[knocking]
697
00:25:54,335 --> 00:25:56,293
Who the hell are you?
698
00:25:56,337 --> 00:25:57,556
Hello, sir.
We are here to see
699
00:25:57,599 --> 00:25:59,079
a friend in the room.Shh. Get in here.
700
00:25:59,122 --> 00:26:00,733
What? What? What?What the...?
701
00:26:00,776 --> 00:26:02,299
PAULA: Hey!REBECCA:
Excuse me, sir.
702
00:26:02,343 --> 00:26:03,910
Do not handle me and my friends
in a rough manner!
703
00:26:03,953 --> 00:26:06,608
We're here to see
Audra Levine right there.
704
00:26:06,652 --> 00:26:07,740
Never seen her in my life.
705
00:26:07,783 --> 00:26:09,480
Okay, Audra, we can
discuss this later,
706
00:26:09,524 --> 00:26:11,134
but I got to get you
out of here.Nope.
707
00:26:11,178 --> 00:26:12,483
PAULA:
Hey, hey, hey, you know what?
708
00:26:12,527 --> 00:26:14,050
I have an idea.
Why don't all of you go,
709
00:26:14,094 --> 00:26:15,574
and take Audra's
710
00:26:15,617 --> 00:26:16,618
skeezeball boyfriend
with you, and then
711
00:26:16,662 --> 00:26:17,793
I'll sit at the table
712
00:26:17,837 --> 00:26:19,273
while you all talk it out?
713
00:26:19,316 --> 00:26:21,231
What's the buy-in?
What game are we playing?
714
00:26:21,275 --> 00:26:22,755
The game is,
you're coming with me.
715
00:26:22,798 --> 00:26:24,408
Oh, come on. Hey.Let's go.
716
00:26:24,452 --> 00:26:26,367
All right.Let's go. Right through there.
You, too. Come on.
717
00:26:26,410 --> 00:26:27,629
No!Yes. You, too.
718
00:26:27,673 --> 00:26:29,196
MAN:
I don't care.[overlapping chatter]
719
00:26:29,239 --> 00:26:30,589
Get inside. Shut up.
720
00:26:30,632 --> 00:26:32,286
Sit down and be quiet.
721
00:26:32,329 --> 00:26:33,766
ALL: Okay.We can't have you
722
00:26:33,809 --> 00:26:36,246
blabbing about this game
to anyone until it's over.
723
00:26:36,290 --> 00:26:38,248
If I hear a peep
out of this room,
724
00:26:38,292 --> 00:26:41,817
that window's a nice way
to get to the sidewalk.
725
00:26:41,861 --> 00:26:42,992
[door slams shut]
726
00:26:43,036 --> 00:26:44,690
The sidewalk? Wait.
727
00:26:44,733 --> 00:26:47,040
Guys, we're a bunch
of stories up.
728
00:26:48,563 --> 00:26:51,697
I think he means
throw us out the...
729
00:26:51,740 --> 00:26:53,176
Oh, that's
what he means.
730
00:26:53,220 --> 00:26:55,178
You guys already...?
Oh, you already got that?
731
00:26:55,222 --> 00:26:57,528
That's so scary.
732
00:27:05,928 --> 00:27:10,280
[exhales sharply]
I hope Jesse's okay.
733
00:27:10,324 --> 00:27:13,632
He's hypoglycemic, and the
only thing that helps is sex.
734
00:27:14,241 --> 00:27:17,766
Audra, you know who
this guy really is, right?
735
00:27:17,810 --> 00:27:21,640
Yeah, honey, I mean, I know
he's got that sleazy, oily,
736
00:27:21,683 --> 00:27:23,729
shaved-all-over, bad-boy charm,Ugh.
737
00:27:23,772 --> 00:27:25,121
but he's a loser.
738
00:27:25,165 --> 00:27:27,907
Jesse is not oily.
He's just naturally moist.
739
00:27:27,950 --> 00:27:29,604
And you're jealous.
740
00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:31,954
All of you,
you're all just jealous.VALENCIA: Hey, lady.
741
00:27:31,998 --> 00:27:34,565
We all uprooted our lives
to come out here and save you
742
00:27:34,609 --> 00:27:36,393
and talk you out
of child abandonment.
743
00:27:36,437 --> 00:27:37,960
Be a little more respectful.
744
00:27:38,004 --> 00:27:39,658
Yeah, we're
basically heroes.
745
00:27:39,701 --> 00:27:41,398
Dare to defy.Mm-hmm.
746
00:27:41,442 --> 00:27:45,489
Oh, please.
You three are not here for me.
747
00:27:45,533 --> 00:27:47,622
You're here because
you're miserable
748
00:27:47,666 --> 00:27:49,711
and you're trying to avoid
your own miserable lives.
749
00:27:49,755 --> 00:27:50,843
Who told you that?What do you know?
750
00:27:50,886 --> 00:27:51,844
Have you talked to Beth?
751
00:27:51,887 --> 00:27:53,454
You all just seem miserable.
752
00:27:53,497 --> 00:27:54,934
At least Rebecca here
kind of understands me.
753
00:27:54,977 --> 00:27:56,283
She knows, if you
want to be happy,
754
00:27:56,326 --> 00:27:58,328
you gotta make these
decisive choices.
755
00:27:58,372 --> 00:27:59,678
Right, Rebecca?
756
00:28:01,549 --> 00:28:03,812
Yeah. I mean, that-that's
what I do. Always.
757
00:28:03,856 --> 00:28:05,466
Shh.
758
00:28:05,509 --> 00:28:07,642
[whimpers]
Hey.
759
00:28:07,686 --> 00:28:10,471
This loser went all in on a
marker and can't cover his bet.
760
00:28:10,514 --> 00:28:12,865
Oh, no, Jesse,
what did you do?
761
00:28:12,908 --> 00:28:14,388
I had two high pairs.
762
00:28:14,431 --> 00:28:15,345
That's usually pretty good.
763
00:28:15,389 --> 00:28:16,738
Honey, help me.
764
00:28:16,782 --> 00:28:18,131
Bail me out here.
765
00:28:18,174 --> 00:28:19,915
I... love you?
766
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:22,701
I can't.
767
00:28:22,744 --> 00:28:24,659
David put a lock
768
00:28:24,703 --> 00:28:27,270
on all my accounts, Daddy.[all groaning]
769
00:28:27,314 --> 00:28:29,882
Well, then tell that Jew banker
to just wire the money.
770
00:28:29,925 --> 00:28:31,535
[all exclaiming, groaning]
771
00:28:31,579 --> 00:28:34,756
No way, man. Uh-uh.You can't even think that. No.
772
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:36,627
We're gonna need
that money back in the game,
773
00:28:36,671 --> 00:28:38,760
or this racist loser
is gonna hit the pavement
774
00:28:38,804 --> 00:28:39,892
through the window.
775
00:28:39,935 --> 00:28:41,328
REBECCA: Don't get
confused, Jesse.
776
00:28:41,371 --> 00:28:42,764
We're a bunch of stories up,
so he's threatening
777
00:28:42,808 --> 00:28:44,548
to throw you out the window.
I've checked. Yeah.
778
00:28:44,592 --> 00:28:45,593
HEATHER:
Rebecca, what about that statement
779
00:28:45,636 --> 00:28:47,247
was confusing to you?No, no, no.
780
00:28:47,290 --> 00:28:48,857
No, definitely out
the window. I don't know.
781
00:28:48,901 --> 00:28:50,293
Sometimes,
things are one story...
782
00:28:50,337 --> 00:28:51,773
[overlapping arguing]
783
00:28:51,817 --> 00:28:53,557
Okay! Okay!
No, no, everyone just shut up!
784
00:28:53,601 --> 00:28:54,776
I got this.
785
00:28:54,820 --> 00:28:56,430
I got the money.
786
00:28:56,473 --> 00:28:57,692
I'm getting in the game.
787
00:28:57,736 --> 00:29:00,782
I'm making up Jesse's money
and then some.
788
00:29:00,826 --> 00:29:02,175
Let me see the money.
789
00:29:04,699 --> 00:29:08,485
Deal me in, douchebags.
790
00:29:08,529 --> 00:29:10,531
[gasps]
791
00:29:13,142 --> 00:29:15,666
♪
792
00:29:22,848 --> 00:29:25,502
♪ Slow motion, slow motion
793
00:29:25,546 --> 00:29:27,896
♪ We're watching Paula crush it
in slow motion ♪
794
00:29:27,940 --> 00:29:29,245
♪ What's happening?
795
00:29:29,289 --> 00:29:30,769
♪ I don't know poker
796
00:29:30,812 --> 00:29:33,772
♪
797
00:29:35,861 --> 00:29:37,819
♪ Hell yeah
798
00:29:37,863 --> 00:29:40,300
♪ Gambling is awesome
799
00:29:40,343 --> 00:29:42,563
♪ Yeah, yeah
800
00:29:42,606 --> 00:29:43,869
♪ Hell yeah, in your face
801
00:29:43,912 --> 00:29:46,697
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah.
802
00:29:46,741 --> 00:29:49,135
[Heather, Rebecca, Valencia
and Audra laughing, cheering]
803
00:29:49,178 --> 00:29:51,702
Oh, my God!
804
00:29:51,746 --> 00:29:53,792
[screaming, cheering]
805
00:29:56,490 --> 00:29:58,579
♪
806
00:30:05,804 --> 00:30:08,719
♪ We're back in more
slow motion, slow motion ♪
807
00:30:08,763 --> 00:30:11,200
♪ All eyes on us
in slow motion ♪
808
00:30:11,244 --> 00:30:13,812
♪ Are they envious
or is it just weird ♪
809
00:30:13,855 --> 00:30:15,901
♪ That we're five people
walking in a row ♪
810
00:30:15,944 --> 00:30:19,034
♪ Wearing very similar suits?
811
00:30:19,078 --> 00:30:21,863
♪ Maybe they think
we're in a sexy cult ♪
812
00:30:21,907 --> 00:30:25,040
♪ Or flight attendants
for five different airlines. ♪
813
00:30:31,090 --> 00:30:33,309
Hey, can I ask you
something? Of course.
814
00:30:33,353 --> 00:30:34,484
You and Darryl,
Mm.
815
00:30:34,528 --> 00:30:36,573
are you really happy
just being friends,
816
00:30:36,617 --> 00:30:38,358
or do you hold out hope
817
00:30:38,401 --> 00:30:40,447
maybe one day
you'll get back together?
818
00:30:40,490 --> 00:30:42,971
Oh, no. No. We're-we're really
happy just being friends.
819
00:30:43,015 --> 00:30:45,495
Okay, good.
Um, all right.
820
00:30:45,539 --> 00:30:47,280
Yeah, maybe that's
what I have with Rebecca.
821
00:30:47,323 --> 00:30:48,672
Oh, didn't let me finish.
822
00:30:48,716 --> 00:30:50,631
Uh, Darryl and I are happy
just being friends
823
00:30:50,674 --> 00:30:52,938
because we really ultimately
didn't work as a couple
824
00:30:52,981 --> 00:30:54,896
and we really are happy
with other people.
825
00:30:54,940 --> 00:30:56,332
But you and Rebecca
seem different.
826
00:30:56,376 --> 00:30:58,291
Different, how?
827
00:30:58,334 --> 00:31:02,251
Oh, don't make
me say it.
828
00:31:02,295 --> 00:31:04,688
Ugh, dude.
829
00:31:04,732 --> 00:31:08,301
I have known you for
most of your life,
830
00:31:08,344 --> 00:31:10,651
and I've never seen you
as happy as you are
831
00:31:10,694 --> 00:31:11,957
when you're with Rebecca,
832
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:14,481
even though I am
truly, deeply
833
00:31:14,524 --> 00:31:15,830
perplexed as to how,
834
00:31:15,874 --> 00:31:17,527
not only you,
but two other guys
835
00:31:17,571 --> 00:31:18,877
could be so into her.
836
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:21,227
Truly, one of the great
puzzlements of the ages.
837
00:31:21,270 --> 00:31:23,490
But... [sighs]
838
00:31:23,533 --> 00:31:25,231
Yeah. You, uh...
839
00:31:25,274 --> 00:31:27,624
you guys seem like you have
something special, so...
840
00:31:27,668 --> 00:31:30,976
I don't know. I think you
got to give that a shot.
841
00:31:31,019 --> 00:31:32,542
How do I do that?
842
00:31:35,067 --> 00:31:36,677
Well...
843
00:31:41,595 --> 00:31:43,814
Wow, Jesse was a
real loser, I guess.
844
00:31:43,858 --> 00:31:46,948
Yeah. He-he is.
845
00:31:46,992 --> 00:31:48,689
I guess I kind of
lost my mind.
846
00:31:48,732 --> 00:31:50,343
You know what? I'm
actually embarrassed
847
00:31:50,386 --> 00:31:52,040
that you saw me like this.
848
00:31:52,084 --> 00:31:54,695
Especially you,
who somehow,
849
00:31:54,738 --> 00:31:58,917
despite all the odds,
have your life together now.
850
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:00,657
So, good job.
851
00:32:00,701 --> 00:32:02,616
Huh.
852
00:32:02,659 --> 00:32:05,749
[exhales] Audra,
I'm flattered
853
00:32:05,793 --> 00:32:08,578
that you've been inspired
by my life choices,
854
00:32:08,622 --> 00:32:10,537
and I know how you
must see me,
855
00:32:10,580 --> 00:32:11,886
you know, as a hardworking
856
00:32:11,930 --> 00:32:14,541
and very decisive
pretzel entrepreneur
857
00:32:14,584 --> 00:32:16,760
who has taken many a lover out
in West Covina.
858
00:32:16,804 --> 00:32:18,849
Yes, exactly. Yeah.
859
00:32:18,893 --> 00:32:21,330
It's not that easy.
860
00:32:21,374 --> 00:32:22,984
I struggle with making decisions
every day,
861
00:32:23,028 --> 00:32:25,508
and I probably will
for the rest of my life.
862
00:32:25,552 --> 00:32:29,382
I mean, I came to Vegas
just to avoid making a decision.
863
00:32:29,425 --> 00:32:31,601
You did?
864
00:32:31,645 --> 00:32:33,777
Let me ask you something.
865
00:32:33,821 --> 00:32:35,214
Did you run away
866
00:32:35,257 --> 00:32:38,521
because you really don't love
your husband and kids
867
00:32:38,565 --> 00:32:40,306
or because it just got hard?
868
00:32:42,873 --> 00:32:45,006
'Cause it got hard.
869
00:32:45,050 --> 00:32:47,661
[sighs] I love my family,
870
00:32:47,704 --> 00:32:49,706
but triplets are rough, okay?
871
00:32:49,750 --> 00:32:51,143
And we're all alone.
872
00:32:51,186 --> 00:32:53,536
It's just me and David
and our three au pairs.
873
00:32:54,929 --> 00:32:56,278
It's so much.
[crying]
874
00:32:56,322 --> 00:32:58,672
There's always something
touching my breasts.
875
00:32:58,715 --> 00:33:00,282
[clears throat]
876
00:33:00,326 --> 00:33:01,675
That sounds hard.
877
00:33:01,718 --> 00:33:03,677
Yeah.
878
00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:05,940
But something I learned
from moving across the country
879
00:33:05,984 --> 00:33:08,334
was not to just make
rash decisions,
880
00:33:08,377 --> 00:33:10,814
but to face up to my life.
881
00:33:10,858 --> 00:33:13,730
And it's hard to do,
but if you do it, it's worth it.
882
00:33:14,949 --> 00:33:18,431
Well, you're a lot cooler
than I thought you were.
883
00:33:18,474 --> 00:33:20,172
Oh. Well, ditto.
884
00:33:20,215 --> 00:33:21,695
[laughs]
May I say
885
00:33:21,738 --> 00:33:24,219
it feels very good to have you
say something nice about me.
886
00:33:24,263 --> 00:33:26,395
Yeah. You know, actually,
887
00:33:26,439 --> 00:33:28,093
I could say a lot
of nice things about you.
888
00:33:29,746 --> 00:33:31,835
Yeah.
889
00:33:34,447 --> 00:33:36,666
♪ All of our lives,
you were toxic, obnoxious ♪
890
00:33:36,710 --> 00:33:39,278
♪ Now, though, you've brought me
from nauseous to naches ♪
891
00:33:39,321 --> 00:33:40,453
♪ I'm proud of you, Bunch
892
00:33:40,496 --> 00:33:42,063
♪ You're a grown-up,
you got this ♪
893
00:33:42,107 --> 00:33:43,586
♪ Kol hakavod,
you're a goddess ♪
894
00:33:43,630 --> 00:33:45,806
♪ Me? But you're
so responsible ♪
895
00:33:45,849 --> 00:33:48,374
♪ Career's on sizzle,
husband, ditto ♪
896
00:33:48,417 --> 00:33:50,071
♪ Three great kiddos
897
00:33:50,115 --> 00:33:51,812
♪ You've got competence, class
898
00:33:51,855 --> 00:33:54,249
♪ Plus a skinny-ass waist
and a toned-ass ass ♪
899
00:33:54,293 --> 00:33:56,686
♪ Well, you've got a free spirit
which I see and commend ♪
900
00:33:56,730 --> 00:33:59,254
♪ So like 2 Chainz without
the N-Z at the end ♪
901
00:33:59,298 --> 00:34:01,561
♪ I wish you double chai
for following the tug ♪
902
00:34:01,604 --> 00:34:04,259
♪ Of the heart behind
your 36 triple-D jugs ♪
903
00:34:04,303 --> 00:34:06,435
♪ Wow, what a boost
for my confidence ♪
904
00:34:06,479 --> 00:34:08,002
♪ Yeah, I mean,
I gotta give it up ♪
905
00:34:08,046 --> 00:34:09,395
♪ I'm pretty good
at giving compliments ♪
906
00:34:09,438 --> 00:34:11,484
♪ Nice bubble, bubbeleh,
I really hate to pop it ♪
907
00:34:11,527 --> 00:34:14,356
♪ But nobody's got a plaudit
any hotter than I drop it ♪
908
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:16,402
♪ This is a JAP praise fight
909
00:34:16,445 --> 00:34:17,707
♪ Half affirmation
910
00:34:17,751 --> 00:34:18,708
♪ Half cage fight
911
00:34:18,752 --> 00:34:20,014
♪ Killing you with kindness
912
00:34:20,058 --> 00:34:21,450
♪ Yeah, you're dang right
913
00:34:21,494 --> 00:34:23,409
♪ It's a head-to-head
yasher koach mazel tov off ♪
914
00:34:23,452 --> 00:34:25,150
♪ You know what?
Let's squash it ♪
915
00:34:25,193 --> 00:34:26,368
♪ You're awesome ♪ Seconded, same
916
00:34:26,412 --> 00:34:29,458
♪ Rebecca-wise,
my game recognize game ♪
917
00:34:29,502 --> 00:34:31,156
♪ Thanks, I appreciate that
918
00:34:31,199 --> 00:34:32,287
♪ Yeah, I mean,
there's a reason ♪
919
00:34:32,331 --> 00:34:34,028
♪ I'm called
"Esteem Queen Levine" ♪
920
00:34:34,072 --> 00:34:36,770
♪ Can it with the accolades
slash shade catapulting ♪
921
00:34:36,813 --> 00:34:39,207
♪ You are the one
who is great at adulting ♪
922
00:34:39,251 --> 00:34:40,513
♪ All your hard work
923
00:34:40,556 --> 00:34:42,515
♪ Ultimately resulting
in triumph ♪
924
00:34:42,558 --> 00:34:44,386
♪ Damn, that's some sneaky
insulting ♪
925
00:34:44,430 --> 00:34:46,345
♪ Skip the emotional judo
926
00:34:46,388 --> 00:34:48,738
♪ I am the B. Knowles-Carter
of kudos ♪
927
00:34:48,782 --> 00:34:50,436
♪ I'm the LeBron James
of acclaim ♪
928
00:34:50,479 --> 00:34:53,395
♪ Then you might as well call me
the Michelle of the kvell ♪
929
00:34:53,439 --> 00:34:55,397
♪ Go to hell ♪ This is
930
00:34:55,441 --> 00:34:56,485
♪ A JAP cheer-scrimmage
931
00:34:56,529 --> 00:34:57,617
♪ Like a rap battle
932
00:34:57,660 --> 00:34:58,792
♪ But the mirror image
933
00:34:58,835 --> 00:35:00,272
♪ Both of us'll feel great
934
00:35:00,315 --> 00:35:01,403
♪ When we're finished
935
00:35:01,447 --> 00:35:02,448
♪ Giving a dope-slap of dap
936
00:35:02,491 --> 00:35:03,884
♪ To this JAP
937
00:35:03,927 --> 00:35:06,321
Which does stand for
Jewish-American Princess,
938
00:35:06,365 --> 00:35:08,628
a term that, on one hand,
does reinforce
939
00:35:08,671 --> 00:35:11,935
negative, negative stereotypes
about both Jews and women,
940
00:35:11,979 --> 00:35:13,241
but, on the other hand,
941
00:35:13,285 --> 00:35:15,548
is a term that we want
to reclaim and own.
942
00:35:15,591 --> 00:35:17,680
Also, should acknowledge
943
00:35:17,724 --> 00:35:20,727
that me saying "dap to this JAP"
is appropriative
944
00:35:20,770 --> 00:35:23,512
and a little problematic,
if we're being honest.
945
00:35:23,556 --> 00:35:25,471
Yep.
946
00:35:25,514 --> 00:35:27,734
♪ This is touchy stuff
and it's pretty complicated ♪
947
00:35:27,777 --> 00:35:28,909
♪ But I noticed the dynamic
948
00:35:28,952 --> 00:35:30,258
♪ And I thought
that I should name it ♪
949
00:35:30,302 --> 00:35:31,477
♪ Just like I hated you
950
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:32,869
♪ But now I kinda like you
951
00:35:32,913 --> 00:35:34,088
♪ This song's another thing
952
00:35:34,132 --> 00:35:35,307
♪ I can see two sides to
953
00:35:35,350 --> 00:35:36,525
♪ Terrific self-awareness
954
00:35:36,569 --> 00:35:37,831
♪ Knock if off, Audra
955
00:35:37,874 --> 00:35:39,093
♪ You never stop, do you?
956
00:35:39,137 --> 00:35:40,355
♪ Can't and don't wanna
957
00:35:40,399 --> 00:35:41,487
♪ You're a wonderful lady
958
00:35:41,530 --> 00:35:42,444
♪ But an insufferable baby
959
00:35:42,488 --> 00:35:43,750
♪ Should we make out?
960
00:35:43,793 --> 00:35:45,534
♪ What? No. Maybe.
961
00:35:46,927 --> 00:35:49,147
You know what?
Let's just shake hands.
962
00:35:49,190 --> 00:35:51,540
Right.
Of course. Yeah.
963
00:35:51,584 --> 00:35:54,152
[laughs]
964
00:35:54,195 --> 00:35:56,763
Oh, my God, Rebecca,
your hands are so dry,
965
00:35:56,806 --> 00:35:58,417
it's like petting a lizard.
966
00:35:58,460 --> 00:36:00,723
Would it kill you
to moisturize?
967
00:36:02,116 --> 00:36:03,596
Good-bye, Audra.
968
00:36:04,945 --> 00:36:06,642
Bye.
969
00:36:10,168 --> 00:36:12,605
Hi. Can I charge those drinks
to her room? Thank you.
970
00:36:12,648 --> 00:36:14,476
WHITE JOSH:
I think I have a solution.
971
00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:16,435
Something that involves
none of you
972
00:36:16,478 --> 00:36:18,524
standing down.
[laughs]
973
00:36:18,567 --> 00:36:21,657
Sorry, that phrase
is just so dumb.
974
00:36:21,701 --> 00:36:24,007
Uh, anyway,
I got this idea.
975
00:36:24,051 --> 00:36:25,531
I was planted in front
of my TV,
976
00:36:25,574 --> 00:36:27,968
which is what I sometimes do
when I'm doing my crunches.
977
00:36:28,011 --> 00:36:30,449
As you guys know,
I do a lot of crunches.
978
00:36:30,492 --> 00:36:32,102
I also do a lot of crunches.
979
00:36:32,146 --> 00:36:34,453
All right.
I'll just tell you what it is.
980
00:36:47,292 --> 00:36:48,728
[chuckles]
981
00:36:48,771 --> 00:36:50,251
Hey, hey.
Hey.
982
00:36:50,295 --> 00:36:52,210
You are looking sharp.
983
00:36:52,253 --> 00:36:53,472
That is a nice suit.
984
00:36:53,515 --> 00:36:54,864
Thank you.
Fett?
985
00:36:54,908 --> 00:36:56,562
Yeah. Feels great.
986
00:36:56,605 --> 00:36:57,911
I love it.
987
00:36:57,954 --> 00:36:59,869
Got it with the proceeds
of a backroom poker game.
988
00:36:59,913 --> 00:37:02,089
Illegal?
Allegedly.
989
00:37:02,132 --> 00:37:04,396
[laughs]
But, Julia, I have to tell you
990
00:37:04,439 --> 00:37:07,921
that this is the last one
of these suits that I will buy.
991
00:37:07,964 --> 00:37:11,794
Because, good Lord, even if
I could afford it... why?
992
00:37:11,838 --> 00:37:16,277
It's just jackets and pants
and skirts, and so...
993
00:37:16,321 --> 00:37:20,368
I'm sorry if I don't fit in,
but... I just can't do it.
994
00:37:20,412 --> 00:37:22,892
Paula, we do not care
how you dress.
995
00:37:22,936 --> 00:37:24,285
That's not why we hired you.
996
00:37:24,329 --> 00:37:25,721
You are a brilliant legal mind.
997
00:37:25,765 --> 00:37:26,896
You just keep on doing that,
998
00:37:26,940 --> 00:37:28,942
and you're gonna fit
in here just fine.
999
00:37:31,336 --> 00:37:32,772
Wow. Okay.
1000
00:37:32,815 --> 00:37:34,208
Thank you.
1001
00:37:34,252 --> 00:37:36,689
I just, you know, I just wanted
to fit in so badly,
1002
00:37:36,732 --> 00:37:38,256
and so I thought
I needed the suits,
1003
00:37:38,299 --> 00:37:40,301
and I'm glad I don't.
1004
00:37:40,345 --> 00:37:41,346
No.
1005
00:37:41,389 --> 00:37:42,825
Oh, by the way, hot tip:
1006
00:37:42,869 --> 00:37:45,785
They have some great stuff
at Dress Barn.
1007
00:37:45,828 --> 00:37:48,178
It's a dress barn?
1008
00:37:48,222 --> 00:37:49,789
Yeah. You know what?
It's not for you.
1009
00:37:49,832 --> 00:37:51,138
I see that.
1010
00:37:51,181 --> 00:37:53,096
[chuckles]
Probably not.
1011
00:37:53,140 --> 00:37:54,359
Probably not.
1012
00:37:54,402 --> 00:37:56,404
HECTOR:
Hey, do you know where
1013
00:37:56,448 --> 00:37:57,536
my gray hoodie is?
1014
00:37:57,579 --> 00:37:59,015
It was in that pile of...
1015
00:37:59,059 --> 00:38:01,104
one gray hoodie
on the floor.
1016
00:38:01,148 --> 00:38:03,803
Um, no, I don't.
1017
00:38:03,846 --> 00:38:06,458
You are gonna have to find
that hoodie yourself.
1018
00:38:06,501 --> 00:38:08,242
Hector,
1019
00:38:08,286 --> 00:38:10,070
I am not your mommy.
1020
00:38:10,113 --> 00:38:12,507
And you are not my daddy.
1021
00:38:12,551 --> 00:38:13,813
I learned that in Vegas.
1022
00:38:13,856 --> 00:38:16,032
We are partners
in this marriage,
1023
00:38:16,076 --> 00:38:17,730
and I need you to show up.
1024
00:38:17,773 --> 00:38:19,732
Okay? We have
to work together,
1025
00:38:19,775 --> 00:38:23,170
or someday I might run off
to Vegas to be with a guy
1026
00:38:23,213 --> 00:38:25,868
who's made multiple submission
tapes to The Real World.
1027
00:38:25,912 --> 00:38:28,262
Okay. I get it.
1028
00:38:28,306 --> 00:38:30,873
Uh, I guess I did that
because you picked up the slack
1029
00:38:30,917 --> 00:38:32,875
and I liked it.
1030
00:38:32,919 --> 00:38:34,964
But I won't do it again.
1031
00:38:35,008 --> 00:38:36,488
Thank you.
1032
00:38:36,531 --> 00:38:37,924
Great.
1033
00:38:37,967 --> 00:38:39,882
So... gray hoodie.
1034
00:38:39,926 --> 00:38:41,884
Sunset on it. No?
1035
00:38:41,928 --> 00:38:44,278
Mm. Mm-mm. Yep, no.
No?
1036
00:38:44,322 --> 00:38:45,975
Oh, I'll find it.
Don't worry.
1037
00:38:46,019 --> 00:38:48,282
It's just...
left my keys in there.
1038
00:38:48,326 --> 00:38:49,718
Mm. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
1039
00:38:51,198 --> 00:38:53,287
So, when I saw
that Denise Martinez
1040
00:38:53,331 --> 00:38:54,854
pressured someone
into a proposal,
1041
00:38:54,897 --> 00:38:57,291
I realized ultimatums
are super basic,
1042
00:38:57,335 --> 00:38:59,032
so I don't want to do them
anymore.
1043
00:38:59,075 --> 00:39:01,469
That's good... I guess.
1044
00:39:01,513 --> 00:39:02,644
I love you.
1045
00:39:02,688 --> 00:39:03,863
I hope you can forgive me.
1046
00:39:03,906 --> 00:39:05,212
I forgive you.
1047
00:39:05,255 --> 00:39:06,735
And, V, you know,
1048
00:39:06,779 --> 00:39:08,563
I wasn't saying no
to marriage forever.
1049
00:39:08,607 --> 00:39:10,913
If, one day,
you decide you want to get down
1050
00:39:10,957 --> 00:39:13,960
on one knee and give me
a nice square cut,
1051
00:39:14,003 --> 00:39:16,832
ethically sourced diamond,
I might say yes.
1052
00:39:16,876 --> 00:39:20,270
Wait. I can propose?
1053
00:39:20,314 --> 00:39:22,925
♪
1054
00:39:29,062 --> 00:39:30,411
Hey, Rebecca.
1055
00:39:30,455 --> 00:39:31,934
Oh, hey, Darryl.
1056
00:39:31,978 --> 00:39:33,458
You know, as great
as this system is--
1057
00:39:33,501 --> 00:39:35,460
and it is truly groundbreaking--
1058
00:39:35,503 --> 00:39:37,070
I know what I need to do.
1059
00:39:37,113 --> 00:39:38,419
I need to be an adult.
1060
00:39:38,463 --> 00:39:40,682
And I need to have an open
and honest conversation
1061
00:39:40,726 --> 00:39:42,292
with each of these guys
1062
00:39:42,336 --> 00:39:45,252
and finally just make a choice
once and for all.
1063
00:39:45,295 --> 00:39:46,993
It's funny you
should say that,
1064
00:39:47,036 --> 00:39:49,082
because I've been asked
to bring you somewhere.
1065
00:39:51,954 --> 00:39:53,129
Wait. I think...
1066
00:39:53,173 --> 00:39:54,827
You guys, there,
there, there, there. Hmm?
1067
00:39:54,870 --> 00:39:56,481
Oh.
Oh.
1068
00:39:57,960 --> 00:40:00,006
[exhales] Whoa.
1069
00:40:00,049 --> 00:40:02,008
Hey.
Hi.
1070
00:40:02,051 --> 00:40:03,618
I guess "sup" is
the only greeting
1071
00:40:03,662 --> 00:40:04,924
that hasn't been used yet.
1072
00:40:04,967 --> 00:40:07,230
Look, Rebecca,
this is, uh...
1073
00:40:07,274 --> 00:40:09,407
Well, this is insane,
and I can't believe
1074
00:40:09,450 --> 00:40:12,322
I'm forming these words,
but we've all agreed...
1075
00:40:12,366 --> 00:40:16,414
W-W-We're proposing you go
on three dates with three guys.
1076
00:40:17,937 --> 00:40:20,200
Nine dates?
1077
00:40:20,243 --> 00:40:23,290
I mean, that's...
that's such a weird number.
1078
00:40:23,333 --> 00:40:26,075
No, no, no. Uh, one date
with each of us,
1079
00:40:26,119 --> 00:40:29,122
and then at the end of that,
you make your decision.
1080
00:40:29,165 --> 00:40:30,471
Oh.
1081
00:40:30,515 --> 00:40:33,474
Uh, if you're comfortable
with the plan.
1082
00:40:33,518 --> 00:40:35,041
Yeah.
Only if it's okay with you.
1083
00:40:35,084 --> 00:40:38,131
So, what do you think?
1084
00:40:44,616 --> 00:40:50,578
Captioning sponsored by
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1085
00:40:50,622 --> 00:40:53,625
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
1086
00:40:53,675 --> 00:40:58,225
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